30 Minutes in Heaven

Bonus Content Thirty Minutes in Heaven

by Lawrence Lanoff

Website: http://www.DigitalRomanceInc.com http://www.DigitalRomanceInc.com Email: [email protected]

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Thirty Minutes In Heaven


"Be brave. Take risks. Nothing can substitute experience." – Paulo Coelho

I now want to give you some hands-on instruction about how to give a woman a mind-blowing sexual experience that she will never forget. Interested? First of all, you must learn how to maximize the 5 senses. The more senses you get her to use during sex, the more intense and mind blowing the experience will be. For example: taste - incorporate food. I love using frozen grapes. My woman loves the exciting sensation of sliding the cold grapes all over her body and then feeding them to her one by one. touch - giving touch and taking touch. I will explain more about that later. smell - light some scented candles. Vanilla is always a great scent. Some floral scents can be overpowering, but vanilla is a sensual scent that most everyone likes. sound - play music that gets you in the mood. I have whole playlists dedicated to sensual music. Massive Attack is usually a great place to start, if you are unsure about what to play. sight - have a tidy room and a nice, soft bedspread.

30 Minutes in Heaven (30MIH) First, plan in advance when you guys are going to experiment with 30MIH with each other.

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If you want to eat a gourmet meal, you make a reservation, right?! There are a few things I want to refresh your memory about, a few basics before I get to the specifics of how to give your woman 30MIH. 

Enjoy the build-up of time before it starts. o

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Take your time and really enjoy getting ready for the event.

Take pleasure in making the room just the way you want it. o

Light some scented candles.

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Play music that gets you in the mood.

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Tidy up.

Comment on the enjoyment that comes with what you are doing, while you are doing it. o

Verbalize what is going on to one another. Verbalize the things you are noticing that turn you on to your partner. 

Your pussy is getting so swollen.

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You smell amazing.

The key to this working is sincerity. If you a re just going through the motions without really meaning what you are saying, your partner will sense it. If your woman makes a request for you to do something differently, like using more pressure or a slower speed, hear this re quest as just another idea about how to have more fun and not a rejection of what you are doing. You need her feedback to know what she likes. You are not expected to be a mind reader! Focus your attention on what she is saying yes to and enjoying, and feel good about that.

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If your woman is shy about giving feedback, then you will need to ask questions.

Make sure you are asking winning questions! Winning questions are questions will give specific info without offering evaluations. Failing questions will not. For example, do not use these failing questions: 

Failing questions: o

Does this feel good?

o

How am I doing?

Questions like this make you sound insecure and will make her feel uncomfortable. What you are doing might not be feeling good, but she cares about you and your ego and will be less likely to give honest feedback when you put her on the spot like that. Instead, use these winning questions: 

Winning questions: o

Would you like a shorter stroke?

o

More pressure?

o

Faster or slower?

This makes it OK for her to tell you exactly what she wants, without having to worry about your ego.

Come up with an agreed upon amount of time. I named this “30 Minutes in Heaven,” but you guys can agree on 15 or 20 minutes max or 30 to 40 minutes max.

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But I’m going to fill you in on a little secret. 95% of women I talk to do NOT want sex to last a really long time. The women that I have polled say that 15 to 20 minutes is the sweet spot of pleasure for them. Any more can feel exhausting and any less can feel frustrating. That is why I would suggest, for your first time especially, keep it within 15 to 30 minutes. Also, let her know beforehand that you have no expectations about what should happen after the experience. Sex is an option afterwards, but let her know that you would be happy to just snuggle after, as well (see the section on building oxytocin). It is important that she knows this experience is totally for her and that afterwards nothing will be expected. Take sex off the table so she can just lay back and completely relax.

30 MIH will involve much more than just the physical act of rubbing her clit. Your only motive must be that you want to do something that you think would be fun and something you are BOTH going to enjoy. Your focus should be on pleasure not on any specific outcome like her orgasming. Give her time to anticipate so that this energy can build in her body throughout the day. Send a text, “I’m looking forward to getting my hands on you later.” This will draw her attention and I’ve already taught you that where attention goes, energy flows. When she arrives at your house, make sure everything is ready. Have a glass of water by the bed for her, make sure that the temperature in the room is warm enough or cool enough, and go ahead and have the bedspread pulled back for her.

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Let her know that you are going to undress her and that she isn’t going to have to do anything but receive for the next half hour. As you undress her, remember to actively engage her mind, causing her to think of things that turn her on. Tell her all the specific details about the parts of her you are enjoying looking at or touching – the softness of her skin, that way her chest flushes when she is aroused, etc. Once you have undressed her, have her lay down. Make sure she has everything she needs to be comfortable – a pillow under her head, etc. Now, I want you to place your finger on a particular place on her body. For example, just around the outer edge of her nipple (areola). Send your attention and focus to that particular spot and b egin lightly tracing a circle around her nipple. You can try doing this with and without a lubricant. I often like using coconut oil.

Come close to the spot you want to touch (the nipple) and then back away from it.

Purposefully, avoid touching the nipple. Women love this. So often men just rush in pinching and grabbing their nipples and forget that the tissue around the nipple is also very sensitive. By circling around the nipple you are making the nipple the focal point without even touching it, this really allows desire and anticipation to build. Every once in a while, lightly touch the focal point. See if you can build hunger for touch in that area. Resist the urge to rush things along. If she seems like she wants you to rush the process, this may be her way of resisting feeling good in her body. We want to really train her that it’s OK to bask in feel-good sensations and pleasure. Report things you are noticing about her vagina, “Your labia are getting really swollen. Your vagina is really wet.”

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Now grab a big finger full of coconut oil and starting at her perineum (space between the anus and the vaginal opening) spread the oil up and over her vagina, saving the clitoris until the very end. Now, I am about to tell you to do something that is probably going to seem counterintuitive and may go against everything you have thought about how you should touch a woman. But please, stay with me. Touch her with a “taking touch.”

A “taking touch” is a touch that feels good to you rather than a touch that you THINK is going to feel good to her. That's right. For this exercise, I want you to tak e. I know, I know. You are thinking, “What!? But I thought, if this is all about her, I should be thinking about touching her for her pleasure, not mine.” Taking your own pleasure through touching communicates to your partner that she doesn’t owe you anything for this experience. You are fully enjoying exactly what you are doing in the moment. Women need to feel that you are getting pleasure or they may not be able to fully relax into the experience. So stay in tune with your own body during the experience. Really connect with your own pleasure and take in and enjoy the information that is coming through the end of your fingertips, your lips, or your tongue. Trust me. She will sense your enjoyment and it will make her feel irresistible and adored. These are the two ke ys to unlocking a woman’s turn-on and pleasure. Next, sit on the left side of her body, if you are right handed. Sit on the right side of her body, if you are left handed. It is important that you be comfortable. So place pillows under your thighs or stack some pillows

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behind your back. You are going to be in this position for a while, so make sure it feels good. If you start to get un comfortable, your body will tense and she will feel that tension, which will make it harder for her to relax. Once you are situated, place the fingertips of your left hand (if you are right handed) on her tailbone and your thumb at her vaginal opening. Rest it on the outside of her opening. Now, take your right hand and place your middle finger gently on the hood of her clitoris. Notice the feel of the shaft of her clitoris underneath the hood. Begin stroking the clit. Explore with her until you find the exact pressure and speed that she likes – by asking winning questions. Notice how the energy in her body begins to build. Notice her clit engorging. Notice her breathing change. Pay attention to when you feel a plateau in the energy you are building. You can notice a plateau because she may begin making less noise, or you notice her breathing has stopped, etc. A plateau feels like she is close, but isn’t climbing any higher in her arousal and turn-on.

We plateau because our bodies naturally habituate to stimulation. Which just means we adjust to the feeling. It stops feeling new. So, if you have been doing the same stroke for a while, at a certain point, the body becomes used to it and it isn’t going to take her any higher. At that point, slightly switch to a different stroke. You can either pause the stroke to look at her, change the location and begin rubbing a different direction, or lighten the pressure. Practice sensing when she begins reaching up for the same steady pressure and stroke to return. At that moment return to the original steady stroke and feel her energy continue to rise.

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Notice if her vaginal opening is sucking your finger inside. If so, let it in.

Rock Around The Clock

Think about the inside of her vagina being a clock with twelve o’clock being located at the very top (G-spot location). Move your finger to the side along her vaginal wall to 9 o’clock. Begin sliding it in and out slowly, while continuing to rub her clit. Next, insert a few fingers and rub in and down at the base (6 o’clock) because there is a big nerve bundle there that is related to her ass. You can also insert a finger into her ass, if she is a yes to that . . . If she is a yes, I cannot stress the importance of using lots of lube for anal penetration. If you think you are using too much, you are using just enough. You can gauge how much lube you need by practicing sticking something up your own butt first. I'm just sayin’. You'll be surprised how much lube you need to make things feel good.

Build The Sensation

Keep bringing her orgasmic energy higher and higher. Notice the waves of sensation moving through her body. She may or may not actually climax. That is not the point. The point is for you both to expand pleasure in your bodies. That is why I want you to keep a time limit on this activity. You don’t want it to turn into a frustrating orgasm-chasing experience. That is NOT fun. For either person. Some women simply have a very hard time climaxing to someone else’s touch but still very much enjoy all the connection and pleasurable sensations of being touched.

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When you are ready to start bringing her energy down, use my worldfamous “Comfort Touch” by taking one hand, covering her vagina and apply gentle but firm pressure. You may want to place your other hand on her chest, between her breasts and press down gently. Feel her energy calming down. Remove your hand and gently stroke up her clit a few times. Continue going back and forth between applying pressure and a few gentle strokes until you feel her energy has stabilized and she's back in reality. Before you remove your hands, make sure you tell her that you are about to remove contact. It's always good to keep her in touch with what you are doing so she's expecting it. Remove your hands slowly. Your goal is for her to experience pleasure for as long as she wants. Afterwards, she may want to have sex, she may want to masturbate, or she may want to just snuggle. That will be for her to determine. Another moment of Sexual Zen. When it comes to 3MIH – Pleasure is the path. Sex is not the goal.

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30 Minutes in Heaven

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