Bobby Rio - 88½ Ways To Read Her Mind

The Window of

oppORTUNITy

R

ob Judge and I have a theory that with every girl exists a “window of opportunity”.

During that “window” you have an opportunity to ask her out, go for the kiss, and take her home. But when that window closes, you have to start from scratch again building up the attraction.

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www.TheMagneticLifestyle.com

This book is copyright 2014 with all rights reserved. It is illegal to copy, distribute, or create derivative works from this book in whole or in part or to contribute to the copying, distribution, or creating of derivative works of this book. When you purchased this book, you agreed to the following statement: “©2014, All Rights Reserved. You understand that the information contained in this book is an opinion, and it should be used for personal entertainment purposes only. You are responsible for your own behavior, and none of this book is to be considered legal or personal advice.”

table of contents Introduction: Core Concepts.......................................................4 Part 1: The Right Frames of Mind.........................................11 Part 2: Signs A Girl Wants You To Approach Her............32 Part 3: Signs A Girl You Just Met Is Into You..........39 Part 4: Signs A Girl You Just Met Is NOT Into You..........58 6 Ways To Actively Find Out If A Girl Is Into You....69 Part 5: Signs A Girl You’ve Known Awhile Is Into You....76 Part 6: Signs A Girl You’ve Known Awhile Is NOT Into You..86 Part 7: Reading her “Sexual” Signals”................................95 Part 8: Signs You Should Be Sending To A Girl...101 3 Things To Keep In Mind As You Go Forward................126 Reminder Checklist........................................................................132 Further Resources........................................................................139

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INTRODUCTION

core concepts

T

he majority of this book deals with “decoding” a woman’s signals to figure out whether you have a chance with her of if you’re just wasting your time. Understanding the signals a woman is sending also helps you to decide when you should ask her for a date, go for a kiss, and even when it’s time to take things to the next level. To ensure you make the best use of what you’re about to learn, it’s crucial you first understand a few “big ideas” that put a woman’s behavior into context...

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The Window of

oppORTUNITy

R

ob Judge and I have a theory that with every girl exists a “window of opportunity.”

During that “window” you have an opportunity to ask her out, go for the kiss, and take her home. But when that window closes, you have to start from scratch again building up the attraction. This is why its crucial you NOTICE and CAPITALIZE on the opportunity when it presents itself.

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The Window of Opportunity

There is an even more important reason: Girls expect things to “happen quick” when there is chemistry… They expect to get “swept away”... So the longer it takes for you to make your move, get her out on a date, sleep with her… the more she starts thinking “there must not be anything here.” She’ll even begin to backward rationalize and start finding reasons why you’re NOT worth meeting up with, why she should NOT sleep with you, or why she should relegate your sorry ass to FRIEND ZONE PRISON. This is why in both our Unlock Her Legs program and Magnetic Messaging we design everything to happen fast.

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The Window of Opportunity

It creates the illusion of chemistry. Now, if you’re currently in the friend zone with a girl, chances are you missed your window of opportunity. The good news is that window will open back up. And this time, you’ll be ready for it. Which brings us to the next important concept before we go further…

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Her Attraction is NOT

R

black or white

ob and I have a second theory that is extremely important for you to understand: Attraction is NOT black or white. This means that a girl’s opinion of you can change by the year, month, week, day, and even by the hour. Now, this comes with good news, and bad news... The good news is that even if you didn’t make a stellar first impression you can still win her over and get her wanting you…

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Her Attraction is not black or white

Even if you’re not her “type” or she only sees you as a “friend”… Even if you’ve already messed up… And even if she’s dating someone else and acts like you don’t even exist… You ALWAYS have the ability to push that “attraction needle” hotter. And make her want you more. But there is some bad news too... The bad news is just because a girl feels attraction for you today, does not mean she’ll feel the same level of attraction for you tomorrow. Just like you can ALWAYS move the “attraction

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Her Attraction is not black or white

level” hotter… you can always do things that will get things “colder” or drive her away. This is why it’s critical to understand the signs she’s giving you. When you’re able to read the signals she’s sending, you can adjust your game plan as needed.

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PART 1

T h e Ri g h t f r a m e s o f m i n d

I

t can be very frustrating to try to read what a girl is thinking and figure out whether or not she is interested in you. Rob and I work with A LOT of private coaching clients and one of the most common things we deal with is helping a guy decipher the words and actions of some girl. I’m sure you’ve experienced it before. You are talking to a girl in a bar, club or party, and you’re just not sure how well it’s going. Should you continue the conversation? ask for her number? or even ask her if she wants to come

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The Right Frames of mind

back to your place? If you’ve ever let those questions prevent you from closing the deal with a womanthen this will be the most beneficial report you’ve ever read. Because you’re going to capitalize on every opportunity that arises for you from here on out. And if you follow along with the ongoing training lessons we’ll be sending via email… LOTS of opportunities will be arising. Those lessons will be coming from “Bobby Rio” so when you see them, make sure you open up and read them.

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How This Book Will Help You A girl almost always gives off subtle signs about what she is thinking, but most guys don’t know what these signs are. In this report, we’re going to discuss the various signals that girls give in depth. You’ll learn to recognize them quickly so that you can decide early on in a conversation if it’s time to escalate your flirting or cut your losses and walk away. When you’re texting with a girl (particularly if you’re using the Key Lock Sequence) you’ll know exactly when to pull the trigger and ask her to meet up. We’ll be discussing plenty of different types of signs and behavior in the guide, so you will not have to worry about missing one

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subtle gesture. Once you know what to look for, it’s easy to read what a girl is thinking about you. Learning these all-important signals will not only help you with girls you have just met, but also with girls that you have been dating or with whom you already have some sort of relationship with. Maybe you have a girl’s phone number or you have hung out with her casually on a few occasions, and now you’re wondering: what’s the next step? Keep reading and you’ll see that learning the signals can make your decision very easy. Or maybe you’re in the friend zone with a girl, and you want to try to figure out if or when you should make your move. This guide will make sure you strike while the iron is hot.

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There’is more to the equation than learing the signs Reading a girl’s initial interest level is actually only part of the equation. There is another important tool to have: the correct mindset. It will be much easier to approach girls and use your signal-sensing skills if you are in the right frame of mind. It will be much easier to go for the kiss, invite her back to your place, or make her your girlfriend (if you’re following The Scrambler) if your Mindset is SOLID. We’ll share what thoughts you need to focus on when you are with a girl. Of course, part of what you are going to learn in this book will be related to the signals a

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girl gives off when she is not interested in you. Once you see these negative signs, it can be difficult to move on, especially if you feel that you have some sort of emotional connection. I’ll share some pointers that will help you maintain the mindset that will allow you to walk away when you know its time to cut your losses. Having the correct frame of mind before you even start talking to a woman is very important. So important, in fact, that we need to discuss it first before moving on to learn to read a woman’s level of interest. So lets discuss what needs to be on your mind when you are approaching a woman and when you are trying to figure out her level of interest.

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always assume intesrest

I

t is a fact of life: women aren’t interested in guys who are overly insecure. If you are lacking self-confidence, a woman will probably be able to tell, and you’ll be at a disadvantage before you even start the conversation. You can avoid giving off the wrong vibe by convincing yourself that the woman who you are approaching is already interested. This will put the odds in your favor every

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time you start a conversation with a girl. This mindset can be especially effective when talking to women who have not yet decided if they like you. Women find confidence attractive and so a confident vibe could be the difference between going home with a girl and going back to your place alone to wonder what went wrong. The same rule applies for a girl who you already know or have already started dating... Many guys, after they start dating a girl for a while, will start analyzing every conversation and may start feeling insecure about their future prospects. Often, this is a case of simply over-thinking things. However, if your insecurity starts to show, it may chase the girl away, especially

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if she was initially drawn to you because of your confidence. So, even after you have scored those first dates, continue assuming that the girl is attracted to you. Always, always work from a place of confidence until you see signals that tell you otherwise.

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I

Trust Your instincts

’ve found that most of the time, people are generally able to intuitively read a situation. Unless they are completely delusional or have worked themselves into a state of paranoia, they can usually sense a vibe quite well. If you are talking to a girl and you feel a strong connection or a certain sense of romance, chances are she feels the same thing. If you’re dating a girl and you feel like

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everything’s really going good–that she really likes you–chances are it’s true. Of course, this can work the other way as well. If you are not connecting or feeling some sort of chemistry with a girl, chances are she doesn’t either, and it’s better to cut and run than to try and force the conversation. If you’re dating a girl and you feel that she’s blowing you off or she’s just a tease and she doesn’t really want to be with you, chances are you’re right. It can be difficult to trust your instincts, especially when they are telling you something that you don’t want to hear. But it is almost always the best policy. That being said, double check your “instincts” against the signs we’re going to present to you in this guide...

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look at your situation from an outsiders’ Perspective

A

nother way you can get past your hopes and get to the truth of a situation is to look at yourself from an outsider’s perspective. If you were looking at yourself, what would you say? What would you say if you saw a good friend doing what you are doing now? It could be positive: “Hey she’s into you.” Or it could be the opposite: “She’s not worth it,

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come on! It’s time to move on.” A lot of times, when we take ourselves and our emotions and insecurities out of the equation and pretend we are looking at someone else, it all becomes very clear. It’s natural to make excuses about why you don’t want to give up, especially if you like a girl a lot. She might continuously blow you off and make excuses about why she can’t hang out with you. You could tell yourself all sorts of things to convince yourself that you’re still in the game. However, if you saw someone else in your situation, you’d simply say, “Sorry dude, it really looks like she’s not into you.” The same idea can be applied to first meeting with a girl in a nightlife setting. Look at

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her from an outsider’s perspective. What is her body language? What is she doing and saying? You might have even already done this in a bar, maybe even subconsciously. You’ll glance at a girl and guy and know almost immediately what his prospects are just by watching her body language and the way she is reacting to him. So take a second to step back and pretend like you are watching yourself from someone else’s point of view. You will take your ego out of the equation and get to the reality of the situation very quickly.

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never decide you really like a girl before sleeping with her

N

EVER.

We coach a lot of guys over the phone and over email. Many want to talk about a girl that they’ve met and that they really, really, really like. They may have even told her how they feel. Perhaps she didn’t seem too excited to hear this, and now the guy wants to know how to pursue her. Here’s the thing: when you decide that you really like a girl–maybe you’ll even think

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you’re in love with her–but you haven’t slept with her yet, you’ve already lost. The game’s over! Chances are you’re not going to get her. You’re not in the right frame of mind, because you’re already too emotionally invested. You’re not going to make good decisions. You’re going to be thinking with your emotions rather than using the type of cool logic that is necessary to get the girl. This is one of the main reasons we have guys follow a very specific plan laid out in The Scrambler. What you want to do is make a commitment to yourself that you’re not going to let yourself get wrapped up in any girl until after you’ve slept with her.

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After that, you can let down your guard a little, but you’ve still got to play it cool. This can be hard for some guys to do, especially when they are romantics and are prone to getting obsessed with one girl. But you’ve got to keep a cool mindset. Just remember, very, very few guys get a girl that they become obsessed with. The goal is to get HER obsessed with YOU. And you can’t do that if you’re already obsessed with her.

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never chase a loss

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hen it comes to women, a lot of us let our egos get involved. When a girl starts slipping away, guys want to recapture that “high” that they felt when they knew that a girl was really into them (or at least when they thought that she was really into them). In gambling, the terminology for pursuing something that does not have a positive expected return is called “chasing the loss”. The gambler keeps pursuing the “winning

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high” even though it’s obvious that the odds are less and less in his favor. The same idea can be applied to dating. A lot of guys chase a woman after they have obviously lost her. They can chase her for months or even longer. They are not really trying to get her back; they are trying to recapture that feeling that they had when they knew she liked them. When they are chasing a loss, guys are usually oblivious to the fact that their social life is in shambles. They haven’t met any other girls. They focused all their energy on a pursuit that isn’t going to have a happy ending. So the rule is: never chase, instead erase. Erase her from your mind and move on.

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C

hasing the loss is a human instinct. We chase that which retreats from us. It is a BIG component of The Scrambler. For now, just realize that you can actually use this as a weapon for your benefit. When you sense a girl is slipping away. PULL BACK. And get her chasing the loss. This article explains the benefit of that move. During that “window” you have an opportunity to ask her out, go for the kiss, and take her home. But when that window closes, you have to start from scratch again building up the attraction.

Now that we have the right mindset, we can move on to learn the signs that can tell you that a girl is into you. These signs will be evident regardless of the setting.

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If you are talking to a girl in a club or bar, you should be looking for the same signs as you would if you were talking to a girl in a coffee shop, in a classroom or even just on the sidewalk. These are the signs that you will see if a girl is into you. These signs might not mean that a girl wants to jump into bed with you or that she even wants to date you, but they are signs that you should continue the conversation because, chances are, something good is going to happen...

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PART 2

signs a girl wants you to approach her

D

o you know the easiest way to get good at approaching women?

You learn to spot the ones that are sending you the signals that they want you to approach them. Yes, whether you realize it or not, every day, every time you go out, there are women who are trying their damndest to get your attention and to get you to approach them.

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signs a girl wants You to approach her

I’ve talked in depth about this with a lot of extremely hot girls. And girls will tell me how the most frustrating thing in the world for them is when they hear a guy say, “Oh you’re a girl you can get laid anytime you want…” And the girl is like, “Sure, if I put a sign up that said I’m looking to go home with someone…” But short of that, these women go out all the time… sometimes they’re looking for some male affection, sometimes its that time of the month and they’re just freaken horny, sometimes they’ve just been dumped and their looking for a revenge lay… Yes, they send all the signals and guys just don’t pickup what they’re putting down. I

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think you’ll agree, that there is no easier girl to approach then one that is actively trying to get your attention and hinting that she wants to talk to you.

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uys that appear to be extraordinarily good with girls usually have amazing “filter mechanism” that allows him to zone in on the girl where his odds are extremely good. Mastering the skill of spotting the “easy scores” will GREATLY increase your success in bars and club environments.

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She makes her way over towards you, and for no reason stands in your general area. Here’s what I mean. If you’re at a large un-crowded bar and you and your friend are talking in one corner. And you notice two girls on the other side of the bar. And then, twenty minutes later, for apparently no reason, they are now on your side of the bar. There is a reason for that. she’is with a group and she “accidentally” separates herself from the group. Or she might just keep findi n g exc u s e s t o w a l k p a s t y o u . . . If she’is already close to you, she opens her body language to be more inviting so you see she’is available to approach. In that case you’ll notice that she tries to make herself appear available. She won’t be playing with her phone or doing anything that signals, “leave me alone”.

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Or maybe you've had a girl accidentally bump into you. Did you take advantage of it? Or did you just let her apologize and keep walking? (If so you missed an opportunity!) One of the most obvious things a woman will do when she wants to talk to you is eavesdrop on your conversation. She’ll noticeably laugh at one of your jokes she’s overheard, or even throw her own opinion in to try to get your attention. Maybe she’ll even drop some’ thing near you hoping that you’ll pick it up. If she can’t think of anything to say, a lot of times she’ll do something physical to get your attention. Another form of this is asking you for help with something. women aren’t stupid; they know you need an opener so they'll try their damndest to give you one. If she’s reading a book or looking at

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something she’ll try to let you see so that you can ask her about it. If she’s looking at something or someone she’ll talk out loud to herself so that you realize she wants you to comment on it, too. She’s handing a silver platter. Now

those

you

are

the

an

opener

obvious

on

ones…

Of course there are some girls who are subtler and with those girls, you’ll have to pay closer attention to body language. If she catches you looking, she might push her hair out of the way so you can see her face better Or she adjusts her clothes after looking at you. She is primming herself to appear more attractive for you.

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She’will exaggerate her moves or act a little ODD. If she catches you looking at her, and she’s interested, she’ll try to appear like she’s having a good time. She’ll exaggerate her laughing, she’ll dance in place, and she’ll be doing something to keep your attention. She’s self The

trying to seem like a fact

is:

the

make “cool

signs

are

hergirl.” there.

But how about once you start talking to her...

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PART 3 signs a girl you just met i s i nto yo u

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oticing signs that girl is interested in you is helpful for a number of reasons. For example, if you’re like most guys, you probably won’t try to move an interaction forward by asking a girl out, going for a kiss, or inviting her back to your place, unless you’re at least relatively sure she’s into you and going to accept… If that’s something you’re currently doing then it might surprise you that Rob and I feel that is one of the LEAST practical appli-

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signs a girl you just met is into you

cations of recognizing the signs of an interested girl. Don’t think just because she’s giving you positive signs that she’s necessarily giving you permission. Doing so often leads to a bad call either way: you might wait too long for a sign before escalating and miss the window of opportunity OR you might believe a date or a kiss is “in the bag” because you noticed a sign and then feel crushed if she doesn’t immediately comply with your advance. IMPORTANT: A girl accepting or rejecting your advances is often not a result of how attracted she is to you. Girls will often “reject” guys at first for a number of reasons: she’s not comfortable yet, she doesn’t want you to think she’s “easy,” she’s testing you to see how you’ll react under pressure, etc. You should never gauge where you stand with a girl solely on how she reacted to you making a move.

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You’ll get much more out of this section if you interpret these signs like markers on a roadmap. For example, if a girl is displaying several signs that she’s into you, then it might want to focus more on getting to know and getting her to feel comfortable rather than tease her and flirt. While flirting and teasing are the key ingredients in beginning an interaction, ONLY teasing and flirting very rarely leads to quality interactions. Women not only crave the stimulation of laughter, excitement, and sexual tension, they also want to feel comfortable, a sense of connection as well as appreciation. Noticing the signs in this section clearly means you’re headed in the right direction. But like any significant journey, rarely do you get from point A to point B in a straight line. You may need to gradually turn and move in a slightly different direction to steer things closer to where you want them to go. This section will help you recognize when to do just that.

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She laughs at your jokes, even the unfunny ones. Laughing isn’t necessarily something people do when they find something funny. It can also be a sign of approval. This can be seen in many speeches: The speaker makes some bad joke and the audience laughs. It’s not because the joke was funny; it’s the audience’s way of saying “Yeah, we like you; we’re enjoying this.” When a girl laughs at your jokes, it is the same phenomenon. Her chuckle is a way of saying, “Hey, I like you. Keep talking.” When she’s laughing at your jokes, she’s trying to tell you she gets you and that she enjoys your company.

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She asks you if you have a girlfriend. This can be a tough one to catch, because a lot of times girls will try to find this out indirectly. Maybe you say that you went to a concert or movie, and she’ll ask, “Oh, whom did you go with?” Or if you say you have a roommate, or if you talk about your apartment, she’ll ask you whom you live with. If you notice any of these types of questions, she’s probably interested in knowing if you have a girlfriend. Of course, some girls will just ask directly, in which case you don’t need to try and pick up the subtler cues. When a girl asks this question, it means that she is sizing you up and measuring your relationship potential.

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She calls you a player, a jerk, or an asshole. It might seem counter-intuitive, but if a woman makes this type of statement in a playful way, it’s usually a very positive sign. This kind of teasing is a form of flirting. Calling you a player is her way of testing you. She wants to see what you’re going to say. If a guy is insecure or isn’t scoring points with his flirtatious remarks, she isn’t going to call him a player. She’s calling you a player because she finds herself attracted to you and she wants to know if you are really a player or if you are genuinelyinto her.

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hen a girl calls you a player NEVER go on the defensive. Jokingly

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play into the assumption. In fact, NEVER defend yourself to a girl period. It signals to her that you care too much and are trying to hard. Rob and I have a saying “the person who tries harder, holds less power.” And when she’s holding the power, its impossible for her sleep with you.

She takes a sip of your drink. You’ll be at party, a bar, or some sort of social situation where drinking is involved, and a girl will ask to take a sip of your drink. Or she’ll simply take a sip without asking when you put your drink down. This is a very strong indication that she feels comfortable—comfortable enough to put her mouth where your mouth has just been. This type signal can also take other forms. She might offer you her drink.

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Or perhaps offer you something that she is eating. She’s showing you that she has a high level of comfort with you. A girl might lean into you or get your attention by touching your hand or arm lightly. These are all signs of intimacy and are a sure signal that it is time to start escalating your pursuit of the girl. If you have TOO Beware: MUCH comfort with a girl it could be a sign you’re in the friend zone! She is displaying “nervous energy.” When a girl is too comfortable around a guy its NOT a good sign. You should notice that she’s exhibiting some nervousness around you. If there is no nervousness,

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then there is likely no attraction. A lot of times with girls that nervousness will manifest itself in rambling. Or appearing “disheveled” in the way she’s communicating. She actively tries to keep the conversation going. When your conversation hits an inevitable lull, she’s the one keeping it going. She might ask you questions or make remarks. This is because she doesn’t want you to leave. If she asks, directly or indirectly, personal questions, that’s an even stronger indication of serious interest. Or She Asks Questions. Women are often very reserved when it comes to making the first move or approaching a guy in general. If she does this, she might be very outgoing or she’s just REALLY into you.

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She might start by saying something like...“I think I know you from somewhere” just to initially open a conversation. She will also want to know more about who you are. So pay attention to how engaged she is in the conversation. If she asks you open-ended questions that make you give a detailed response versus a yes or no response, it’s a pretty good sign she is trying to prolong the convo and hoping to get more out of you!

D

on’t feel like you have to always be the one to fill the silences in a conversation. Too many guys feel the need to immediately break the tension of silence. In a seduction tension is your friend. Be the one

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who is more comfortable with the tension. Make her do some work. Remember, the more she’s investing and working to keep you interested, the more power you hold. And the more power you hold, the more attraction she feels toward you.

She teases you. As mentioned,if she calls you a jerkor a player, it’s a good sign. ANY type of teasing is a good because it’s something people do with people that they like and are comfortable with. In the context of a male-female conversation, teasing is usually a form of flirting. She may give you a nickname or just tease you about something you said or did. It’s her way of saying, “Hey, I get you, we have a connection, I feel like I can tease you.”

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She introduces you to her friends. This can also be a bad sign if she introduces you and then moves into the background (that means she wants to get rid of you or trying to pawn you off on one of her less attractive friends). However, if she introduces you and then continues communicating with you, it is a very positive sign because she wants to show you off and/or get her friends’ opinion of you later because she likes you. Either way, it’s a positive sign. She lets her friends leave to continue talking to you. The opposite type of situation could also be a good sign. I’ve slept with several girls very quickly and this was always the biggest indication. Perhaps the girl’s friends would be leaving, and she’d say, “I’m going to stay.”

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If a girl is staying with you in such a situation, you know there’s a very good possibility that she is going home with you right away. She can easily ask for your number and leave with her friends. If she stays, she’s in the mood for something more. DO NOT MESS THIS UP. (Remember earlier we talked about “window of opportunity”… this is a MAJOR ONE!) This usually happens in a bar or club, but it could also happen elsewhere, too. She follows you to another location. Perhaps it’s a party and there are multiple rooms and her friends go into a different room while she stays behind with you. Or maybe you tell her you’re going to go outside for some fresh air, and she comes along with you.

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In this specific situation, her staying or following you might not mean that she is ready to sleep with you (she can still leave with her friends later), but it is definitely a positive sign and a signal that it’s time to escalate the conversation to more intimate subjects and heavier flirtso you can help her, being extra “girlie”. Her voice will change. When a girl is at the versation where she kiss her, she’ll begin more feminine, and

point in a conwants you to to talk slower, more seductive.

She Accentuates Her Femininity. This is a BIG ONE. The more feminine she portrays herself around you, the more chemistry she is feeling towards you. An example of this is pretending to not know anything about sports, acting weak,

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so you can help her, being extra “girlie”. HINT: When a girl is acting extremely feminine around you, reward her for it. Show her you notice it. And accentuate your masculinity. Here is an example... A lot times if the topic of sports comes up the woman will exaggerate her lack of knowledge about the topic. This is an active display of her femininity. Maybe she’ll pretend to confuse football with baseball. And when a football player scores a touch down she’ll ask, “Did he hit a homerun?” She is TRYING to be cute and feminine for you. Appreciate it. Give her a smile. Act like you genuinely find it adorable. And then explain that was a touchdown... and that a home run is in baseball. But make her feel like her

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gesture worked. Like she is seducing YOU. That KEYS

is one of the biggest you need to understand.

Validation works when she believes that she is seducing YOU. This is a major component we discuss in Unlock Her Legs. She will try to validate herself to you. This is one of those things you learn to pick up on. You’ll notice that she continues to slip things into the conversation that makes her look good. Or she’ll steer the conversation towards things that make her seem fun, cool, interesting, sexy. She’s trying to show “Hey, I’m a cool girl.” Pick me.

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you,



bonus signs

BONUS #1:

Too much exagerrated disinterest.

If a girl is too actively acting disinterested making comments like, “In your dreams” or, “You wish”… she is more likely flirting with you and baiting you to pursue her more. If she looks away first. Or looks away, then look back. If a girl can’t hold strong eye contact it could be mean that she feels too much tension.

BONUS #2:

Signs She Wants to Be Kissed

Although we NEVER recommend waiting for a girl to display signs before going for the kiss, it is CRUCIAL you recognize them. If she puts herself out there, providing the signs but you don’t act, the window of opportunity will quickly close.

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She holds your hand or touches you in a prolonged way. If a girl is at the point where she knows she is going to kiss you, she’ll do things to let you know it’s TIME. One of the things she’ll often do is make an excuse to hold your hand. Maybe she’ll take you by the hand to guide you through the room. Or if you’re sitting next to her, she’ll place her hand grazing against your leg and leave it there. She’will linger. This is a clue that becomes obvious towards the end of the night or the end of a date. If a girl has decided that she wants to kiss you she will linger and give you time to make your move. If you’re saying goodbye she’ll make sure not to leave too quickly. As the

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date is ending, she’ll find an excuse to linger around the parking lot. If you’re dropping her off, she won’t get out of the car right away. She’ll sit there waiting for you to make a move.

½

Press herself harder into you when you hug. Don’t be fooled by their warm, mushy reputations: hugs can be very revealing. But be careful: a lot of guys screw this up because they don’t know how to give a hug without being creepy about it. One thing I like to do is rock back and forth as you’re hugging. This alleviates the creepiness while giving her a chance to decide whether she wants the hug to continue. If you feel her trying to peel away as you hug and rock her, not good. But if she seems to get a small burst of energy and/or hugs you tighter and/ or rocks with you, it’s a great (yet subtle) sign that, not only she likes you, but also that she’s comfortable with your touch.

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PART 4 signs a girl you just met is NOT into you

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ant to know a secret that any guy who is successful with women understands: time is more important than pride. In other words, guys who are great with women would rather a girl tell them she’s not interested in the first 10 seconds rather than have a long, drawn-out conversation, only to have the girl “politely” tell him she needs to go to the bathroom…

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signs a girl you just met is NOT into you

…or needs to get back to her friends… …or offers a phone number, knowing full-well that she’s never going to meet up. (Most of the time, she has no intention of even responding.) If you’ve ever heard a girl say (usually awkwardly), “Well, it was really nice meeting you,” often accompanied by a pat on the shoulder or back (the “pity pat”), then you know how frustrating and painful this can be. Bad enough you were wrong about a girl you thought might be a future romantic or sexual prospect; you also wasted your time, energy, and emotions pursuing her. For guys who are trying to meet girls in nightclubs or bars, this can sabotage an entire night. While a guy is locked in a “friendly” interaction he’s missing countless opportunities with other girls...

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Therefore, recognizing when a girl you’ve just met is not into you is crucial for becoming better with women. Lots of girls will entertain a conversation with you for a number of reasons: maybe she’s just being well mannered, maybe she feels bad for you, maybe she thinks you’re entertaining (but not attractive)… Whatever her reason, it’s your responsibility to be honest with yourself, admit you’re not getting anywhere, and move on. Doing so will save you time, which is so much more important than saving face. Sure, your pride may sting a bit if you walk away without a phone number, or if you fail to “impress” your friends or wingman with how long you can keep a conversation going, and you may even sometimes cause her to rudely reject you.

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In the long run, however, it’s only going to help you. You’re setting yourself up to meet more girls—ones you actually have a legitimate chance with! So the next you find yourself talking with a girl you just met, not only should you have an eye peeled for the signs in this section, you also have to remember not to let your pride get in the way of your dating life. If a girl is displaying one or more of the signs in this section, you don’t necessarily have to cut and run right away (in fact, we recommend you don’t). However, you should adjust what you’re doing. If she continues to give off signs she’s not interested, you need to make the call: is this worth your time, attention, energy, emotion, and (sometimes) money? It’s always your decision…but learning and looking for the signs ensures you make much better informed decision.

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She complains that she's tired. When a girl is in to you, she’ll have enough energyto continue a conversation no matter what time it is. You probably know this feeling: when you are into someone and you are with them, you seem to have unlimited energy. Time isn’t even a part of the equation. Perhaps, a girl doesn’t vocalize her tiredness, but she keeps yawning... This is major cue that she is not interested. She is bored, and it’s time for you to move on. Girls will fake enjoyment if they’re into you. She’ll hide the fact she’s tired. She never asks you your name. Exchanging names might not be the first part of your conversation, but if you’ve been talking for a while and

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it doesn’t come up you might want to start questioning her level of interest. It’s even worse if you ask her name and she doesn’t reciprocate by asking yours. This means that most likely she doesn’t want the conversation to get personal and that you’d be better off wrapping things up and moving on to somewhere else. She quickly brings up her boyfriend. Sometimes a girl will bring up her boyfriend later on in her conversation. Anytime a significant other comes up, it is not a good sign, but if she brings him up after you’ve already been flirting and talking, you may still have a chance. However, if she quickly brings him up, it’s because she’s trying to send you a non-subtle hint that says, “Hey, I have a boyfriend” or,

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“I want you to think I have a boyfriend so that you leave me alone.” Obviously, when you get this sign, it is time to move on.

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hen you’re out at a social event, you’re being watched. So if a girl quickly rejects you or gives you the boyfriend excuse. Simply give her a high five, and say, “I bet he’s an awesome guy”… and then tell her you’ve got to get back to your friends. The reason for this is that all of the girls watching will just assume you are friends with the girl and will not realize you were just shot down. She avoids eye contact. If you’re trying to talk to a girl and she’s kind of looking away, it’s not a posi-

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tive sign. You might recognize this same type of gaze in people who are trying to avoid a salesman at the mall.

Obviously if you are in the same category as a salesman, it’s not good. She’s looking for an opening so that she can leave. If she avoids eye contact, it’s time to move on. She has closed off body language. This is the subtlest cue I’m going to mention. Many times, it is not obvious. Perhaps you get the feeling that she just doesn’t feel comfortable around you. This means that she probably isn’t. That doesn’t mean you can’t break through with a little more effort. Some girls just might be nervous or shy. But if you see this signal, you might want to start looking for other signs that she is not into you.

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She gives you short, one-word answers. If she’s giving you short, one-word answers, that’s the complete opposite of trying to keep a conversation going. Brief answers usually mean she’s thinking: “I want this to end so I’m making it as difficult as I can for you to continue.” The shorter the answers, the quicker you should be looking for a chance to exit gracefully so that you can try to find flirtation somewhere else.

Signs She's a "cock-tease" She cuts off at the high points. Some girls love attention, but have no interest in going any further than that. These girls will almost always cut

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off once the sexual tension mounts. She is too high energy.

The girls who are the loudest, highest energy girls are rarely the ones who are interested in you. They usually just want your attention to boost their own ego. She’s too comfortable touching you too soon. While later in the night a girl touching you is a great sign. If she’s too comfortable right off the bat touching you it usually means she views you as “non threatening” and has no sexual interest in you. IMPORTANT: Remember earlier we said attraction isn’t black or white. And part of getting good with girls is what we call “getting comfortable in the grey area.” This means you are comfortable with

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the fact that she might not be attracted to you YET… and you have the attitude that if I just show her a bit more of my personality she’ll come around. Rob and I have been teaching dating advice for over 8 years. We have seen first hand that when a guy implements the right attraction building techniques he can “move the needle” very easily. However, you still MUST be aware of the signs. As you get better with girls, and become more comfortable in the grey zone, you begin to use these signs as feedback on what you need to do to adjust your game, rather than signs that you should walk away.

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WAYS to actively FIND OUT if a girl is

into you

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f you aren’t getting any readable signs from a girl, you can do some things to try and evoke a readable response from her. Go in for a kiss.

This is an obvious one, but it can actually be subtler than it seems. You can give a kind of light peck on the cheek or on the lips and just see how she responds. A lot of guys might not have the balls to do this during a first conversation, but, if you’re not sure where you stand, it is the most straightforward way to find out.

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6 ways to actively find out if a girl is into you

When you go for the kiss, you’ll know. But be aware: even if she turns away or puts up a hand, it might NOT be a bad sign. If she kind of turns her cheek but keeps talking and flirting with you, you're still all right. If she turns away and gives you a clear indication: “Hey, you got that totally wrong idea, I was just being nice to you,” then you’ve got a clear cut answer as well. If you don’t want to wonder where you stand, a kiss is the way to go.

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here have been quite a few times now that girls have rejected several of my attempts before finally allowing the interaction to move forward. Hell, I can think of one time the girl slapped me twice (playfully) before I wound up sleeping with her later that night...

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Even if she denies you again…as long as she still seems to be enjoying the interaction you can go for it again later in the night. Many times, even when a woman wants to kiss you, she has a clock in her head that determines when she’ll kiss you. And it isn’t until that clock goes off that she will accept your advance. In that case, just follow the two steps forward, one step back method of physical escalation. Another extremely effective way to handle getting the cheek is to call out the elephant in the room. This means that right after she gives you her cheek when you go for the kiss…simply say out loud: “She slipped me the cheek? Damn!” Or say something else that humorously acknowledges the fact she turned her cheek.

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I have a friend who was just telling me a story where a girl turned her cheek when he went for the kiss, and he said (in a Seinfeld-like- voice, almost doing self commentary), “That was a little awkward… totally wasn’t expecting her to give me the cheek.” He said she quickly played along doing her own commentary, “Yea… A little too fast… maybe if he seduced me a little bit more…” Two hours later he slept with her.

Make an offhand comment like, “we should hang out sometime.” Make the comment and then see how she responds. You may not even have an actual plan for a date, but you can learn a lot from her response. A quick, “Oh, yeah, definitely,” is a very good sign. On the other hand, if she kind of ignores it, or acts weird when

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you say it, it means you probably haven’t built enough attraction and you’ve got to either continue building attraction or you’ve got to cut your losses and move on. Try the High Five Test. Sometimes, I like to stop a conversation and just say something like “Oh, you’re cool” and then give a girl a high five and grip her hand lightly. (Not in a creepy, weird way, just very lightly.) Then, I’ll see how long she lets her hand stays there. If she lets her hand linger in your hand, it means there’s some chemistry that she is feeling. If she pulls her hand back right away, it means there’s not enough attraction there or she doesn’t feel comfortable enough with you yet.

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Take Her Hand and Lead Her Somewhere. One thing you can do is lead her somewhere by the hand. So if you’re at a bar or party. Say, “Come with me” and take her hand and lead her into another spot. You’ll notice how she reacts to you holding her hand. If she’s into you she’ll probably grip your hand a bit. And when you get to the destination she won’t pull away her hand right away. Make a joke about your wife and kids. I sometimes do this: I’ll just say, “I gotta get back to my wife and kids” and then judge her reaction. If you say something like this and a girl really likes you, she’s going to say “WHAT! What do you mean your wife and kids?” Then you can say, “I’m just kidding.” She has shown that she is into you and that

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your comment caught her off guard. On the other hand, if you say “I’ve got get back to my wife and kids,” and you get no reaction out of her, then it probably wasn’t going as well as you thought it was. Ask Personal Questions. This is something you can use on a date, or when you go back to her place to see if she’s wants to sleep with you. The more personal question she’s willing to answer, the more likely she is to sleep with you. Rob’s personal favorite strategy is to ask her about her first kiss. After she’s answered that, the he’ll ask her ,“ When did you lose your virginity?” He says that every single girl who’s answered that question he’s gone on to sleep with. If they won’t answer the question, it means you have to work a little bit more at creating attraction and comfort.

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PART 5 signs a girl you've known

awhile is into you

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ome guys have been dating a girl for a little while and they don’t know what her interest level is. This is actually one of the most common questions that I have gotten in my coaching career. Or perhaps you are not even dating a girl, but you have exchanged numbers or met on a dating site and you want to know if you should pursue a romantic relationship with her. Here are the most common signs that a girl who you already know is into you...

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signs a girl you've known awhile is into you

She sends you random text messages. If she is sending you messages out of the blue, it means she’s checking up on you and doesn’t want you to forget about her. This is her way of testing your level of interest. She wouldn’t be concerned about your level of interest if she weren’t interested herself. She wants to introduce you to her friends. If one of her friends is having a party and she wants you to come and meet all her friends, it means she sees some sort of potential with you. She’s not going to introduce you to her friends if she’s embarrassed by you or if she plans to end things with you soon thereafter. She makes future plans with you. If she regularly says things like, “Oh,

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signs a girl you’ve known awhile is into you

we’ve got to go here together” or “we gotta do this,” it’s a good sign. Even if it seems like an offhand comment (as opposed to a definitive date plan), it is still a good sign. It means she’s dreaming about the future and you are in it. She wouldn’t be doing that if she were trying to find a reason to get rid of you. She instigates intimacy. If a girl starts kissing you and doing intimate things without taking a cue from you, she has a high level of interest. Of course, this could also be a sign that you are not being intimate enough with her., which makes it a tough sign to interpret. However, if she gives you cues that are not overtly sexual (sitting close to you, holding your hand, kissing you on the cheek), you can be pretty sure that she is into you.

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She always makes herself available. When a girl is into you, she makes herself available no matter what. She will come over at 2:00 in the morning when she gets off work. She may even cancel plans she already had. She’ll rearrange her social schedule so that she can hang out with you. Pay attention: she might not directly say, “I canceled my plans with my friends so that I could hang out with you.” However,if she mentions some cancelled plans, she is giving you an opening to say, “Come hang out with me.” She gets a second wind. Earlier, I talked about when you’re first seeing a girl and you’re really attracted to her how attraction gives you large reserves of energy. If you’ve been dating for a while and you see that kind of energy in

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girl, it is a good sign. It means she’s still enjoying your company or she has gotten to know you more and is even more attracted than she was initially. If she wants to stay out late and then still has energy when she gets back to your place, things are probably going very well for you. She continues to fix herself up when she knows she's going to be seeing you. If every time she comes to hang out with you, she looks really good, it is a sign that she still has a high level of interest. It means she cares what you think about her. If she didn’t care, she would come over as is. If you see make-up and fresh clothes, and smell perfume, it’s a good indication that you are still winning the game. She is paying more attention to you than others while at a social event. If you go to a party together or a club where she knows lots of people and she’s stay-

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ing with you and talking with you and not mingling with other people, it means she is definitely into you. She might stop by to say high to friends, but if she does this, she’ll either come back quickly or else call you over so that she can introduce you. She Spends Time On You Even When You’re Not Around. One thing that is SUPER important is the fact that the attraction between two people should grow even when you’re not in each other’s company. If anything, it should become even stronger when the two of you aren’t together! A pretty good sign she’s into you is when she knows you’re busy, but she texts or calls you anyway. She is communicating when you can’t respond and that’s a HUGE indicator that she’s got you on her mind. Whether she leaves

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a cute voicemail just to say hello or sends a text letting you know she’s thinking of you...you know for sure your girl is into you! In fact, as we talk about in this article, it is absolutely crucial that you’re on her mind when she’s not around you. She Stalks You on Facebook.

These days, when a woman first meets a guy, the QUICKEST and easiest way to get to know him is by digging up dirt on Facebook or any other social media network. If she starts leaving you comments on older photos or posts, you’ll know for sure that she’s been stalking you a bit! But don’t worry, it’s in a good way =) She’s using your Facebook to find out more about you without coming on too strong or scaring you away.

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Just keep in mind that if she doesn’t send you a friend request, she might not actually be that interested. She wants you to herself. A woman will DEFINITELY make it known that you are hers if she’s really into you. If you are at a bar and she sees you talking to another girl, chances are that if she’s into you, she will interrupt the conversation faster than lightning. She will do everything in her power to make sure every other girl in the bar sees the two of you together. And to make things a little more known, she may even kiss your cheek and be extra touchy just to make sure YOU know she’s feeling it.

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Decoding Her Texts The “Bluff” Text. Here is an innocent text you can send a girl that will quickly reveal what she feels about you. Simply send her: “TONIGHT?” What she responds to that one word text reveals a lot. If she seems intrigued or presses you for more information she definitely is into you. However, if she ignores that text or doesn’t press for more info, then she doesn’t have a strong desire to see you. She adds “excitement” emoticons to texts. If a girl responds simply with “lol” or “haha”… not good. But if she sends you etiher one of those followed my a lenghty response that’s a good sign. She’s trying to show you she’s excited to hear from you.

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You may also notice texts like “Heyyyyyy”, which is a lot better than, “Hey.” Timing of her texts. If she is “erratic” with her responses it’s ususally not a good sign. But if she responds right away or always waits five minutes before respoding it’s a good sign. Basically if she predictiably responds after 5 to 10 minutes every time she most likely is trying to“play the game”and make you wait. “I’m a fun girl texts. A girl who is into you is going to try to send you texts that portray her as cool, fun girl: “Going to the Yankees! Woohoo!” When a girl is trying to impress you over texts it’s a good sign. A girl who isn’t interested in you will make no effort to appear cool or fun.h

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PART 6 signs a girl you’ve known

awhile is not into you

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f course, you have to keep an eye out for bad signs as well. These are the signs that she’s NOT into you. Remember, you have to keep the right frame of mind and accept the situation when these signs start popping up. If you’re seeing more than one of them, it is probably time to take a step back and decide if it is time to cut your losses and leave or employ a new strategy (like the one laid out in Unlock Her Legs.)

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signs a girl you’ve known awhile is NOT into you

If you want to “re-spark” attraction we recommend using a move called “The Pull Back” Here is a short article explaining the move: Article on “The Pullback” She says she’s not ready for a relationship. If a girl goes out of her way to stress that she’s not looking for a relationship, it means she’s not looking for a relationship with you. Even the most independent girl wouldn’t go out of her way to say that to a guy that she had any interest in. If she likes him, she is going to put herself in a position to be as close to him as possible. If she mentions not wanting a boyfriend, it is a non-subtle cue that you are not in her future plans.

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She never calls you and avoids your calls. I’ve dated girls who were really into me, but never called. However, when I called them, they answered on the first ring and were always available to hang out. They just had the idea that a guy should always be the one to call. However, this is not always the case. If a girl never calls you but then when you call her she doesn’t answer or she doesn’t call you back right away, it’s a bad sign. If you’re calling her and she’s unavailable to even talk to you on the phone, it is definitely, definitely not a good sign. If this happens more than once, you’ll have to face the fact that she is not into you. She texts you back oneword answers. If a girl always responds with short, one

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word answers like “lol” or “ha” she is actively trying to get you to NOT text her. When a girl wants you to continue texting her she’ll put effort in and try to engage you with a question or something to encourage you to continue texting. She cancels plans and is always busy. Like I said, if a girl likes you, she will come over your house at 2:00 a.m. after the bar or party or when she gets off work (if she works a late job) or she’ll stop by your house in the middle of the day if she doesn’t have time later on or even break plans with friends. If she’s canceling plans with you routinely, or if every time you ask her to hang out, she’s “busy,”you should be hearing warning bells in your head. Some girls are very busy, but, like I said, if they truly like you, they’ll make time.

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She avoids intimacy. If every time you try to hold her hand, kiss, or touch her, she pulls away then...she is not into you. Early on in a relationship, there should be complete sexual attraction. The early days are when the fire is burning the strongest and that’s when she should be the most into intimate behavior. If she turns away from even non-sexual contact (putting your arm around her, touching her hand, kissing not on the lips), you need to seriously consider cutting your losses. She avoids any sort of public displays of affection. Maybe you’ve slept with her already, but when you’re out in front of her friends or other people, she avoids any sort of public display of affection. It’s probably because she doesn’t really see

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a future with you and she doesn’t want people to see you with her because she doesn’t see you as boyfriend material. She doesn’t want people to get the wrong idea about what’s going on between you. She’s sketchy or secretive. You might just get a gut feeling that something is wrong, like she’s giving off a sketchy vibe. For example, a girl I dated on and off for a long time came over for dinner one night and I got a very weird vibe from her. She just wasn’t acting right. She wound up leaving early, saying she was going to study. But I just didn’t believe her. Now, I’m not going to recommend the next thing that I did,but I drove to her house to see if her car was there. Sure enough, it wasn’t. Then I called her phone. She didn’t answer.

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Turns out that she was out with another guy. The moral of the story is that my intuition told me that something was wrong, and I should have trusted my gut and cut my losses. I’m not a super jealous guy. I’m the kind of guy who very rarely suspects something. But

when

I

do,

I’m

usually

right.

She tries to push you off or suggests you’d be good for one of her friends. If she’s actively telling you that you’d be good for this girl, or trying to hook you up with her friend, it’s because she’s not into you. If she brings it up more than once and you’re sure it’s not teasing or testing you, you can be sure that her level of interest has gone down. Or perhaps you thought there were some sort of chemistry, but the girl

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only thought of you as a friend. Either way, it’s not a good sign if she is consistently trying to push you off.

Important: Early in a flirtatious conversation a girl might suggest you are good for her friend as a way of teasing you or testing you. In that case, it’s a GOOD SIGN. At social events, she’s mingling and talking to everybody else and leaving you alone. If you’ve been dating a girl for 2 years, this type of behavior is, more or less, normal. You’re both comfortable with each other and know you’ll be seeing each other at the end of the night. But early on in a relationship you should be the center of her attention. In a new romance, each person’s mind and energy is completely on the other person. If her attention isn’t on you at a social event, it could mean that she is bored

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and/or on the lookout for someone else. She doesn’t send you a Facebook friend request or accept your request. If you start seeing more than one of these signs, it is time to start thinking about moving on. At the same time, don’t get paranoid. If you only see one of these signs, but everything else seems to be going well, don’t panic. Generally, if something is not going well with a girl, you’ll get multiple signals, so it will be pretty obvious. The ultimate test on a girl you’re dating to see is to use the “Pull Back”. If you pull away, and there are “feelings” there, she WILL chase you. Even if the feelings have dwindled, her “fear of loss” will kick in and she’ll want to prevent you from slipping away until she’s more certain.

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PART 7 reading her “Sexual" Signals”

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oo many guys blow opportunities to sleep with a girl because they either miss the signs she’s giving them, or they don’t know how to throw the right “bait” out there to see how sexual she is willing to get. In this section we’ll give you some “tests” to use on girls to see how sexual she will allow herself to become around you. (Which, by the way, is a huge indictation of how much she likes you and/or feels comfortable around you.)

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Use double entrendes as bait to see how “Dirty” her mind is. If a girl spills something on herself you can say, “You’re wet already?” Some girls will laugh a comment like this off, but if a girl is in a sexual mood she will often press it further and take it even more sexual.

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astering the art of “sexual flirting” is a key skill to learn. Women immediately recognize a guy who understands this subtle art of sexualized flirting and banter.

Her reaction to sexual comments. Now there is a RIGHT WAY to make a

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sexual comment. And its best done using humor (see, Make Her Horny with Humor). But how a girl reacts to a sexual comment will tell you a lot about how far she is willing to go that night. For instance, you can say something like, “You need to be spanked” if she’s teasing you. Does she take the bait? Or does she seem turned off by it? Suggest another venue. If you’ve met a girl out at a bar or are out on a date with her, often you can gauge her willingness to go home with you by simply suggesting another venue. If she’s willing to leave where she’s at and have a drink somewhere else with you, chances are she’s also willing to go home with you.

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She brings up something back at your place. If a girl mentions how she “has to meet your dog” or “see the pictures from your trip” or anything that requires her going back to your apartment, she’s giving you an opening to invite her.

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n easy way to get a girl back to your place is to have something there that you can use to invite her back for. “I have this awesome new cappucino maker… I guarantee it will be the best cappucino you’ve ever had” or ,“I have this trampoline in my apartment, it’s the most fun you’ll ever have…” By making comments about things back at your place you can see how she responds. Often girls will use this as an excuse to invite themselves back to your place.

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She says, “I’m not going to sleep with you tonight.” Anytime a girl says something in the negative like, “I’m not going to kiss you” or “I’m not going to sleep with you”… it almost always means she is going to. Hair, Neck Gaze. A true time-tested way to judge if a girl wants you to kiss her is to touch her hair and then gaze at her neck. This will spike the tension and, if she wants to be kissed, she’ll tighten up but won’t fidget, which allows you a chance to move in for the kiss. Ask her this innocent question. “How good of a cuddler are you?” Most girls understand that cuddling is code for get naked in your bed. If she brags

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about her cuddling skills she’s also telling you she’s open to get sexual with you. “I can’t because it will make me tired.” Normally if a girl uses the “I’m tired excuse” it’s a bad sign. However, later in the night if a girl refrains from having another drink because “it will make me tired” it’s a good indication that she wants to keep the night going. She presents you with an obstacle that you can overcome. If you ask her to continue the night, and she presents an excuse that can be overcome that is a good sign. If she says something like, “How will my friend get home?” or, “How will I get home?” it means she’s open to continue the night with you, but wants you to handle the logistics of it.

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PART 8 signs you should be sending to a girl

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hile the majority of this guide focuses on signs she’s sending you, it would be incomplete if I didn’t acknowledge that she’s also trying to decode YOUR signals. Most guys don’t even give the signals they’re giving off so much as a second-thought and so that’s why so many guys end coming across as needy, desperate losers— sometimes even when they’re actually pretty winners in all other aspects of life!

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signs you should be sending to a girl

Conversely, you probably know—or at least heard stories of—guys who are assholes, socially undesirable in almost everything else they do, yet because they give off the right signals to women, they’re always surrounded with attractive women. In the past, you have felt frustrated that dating isn’t like a job interview where the best candidate gets the girl. Since the window of opportunity is only open briefly, she’s going to decide whether or not she likes you based on only a handful of signals she gets from you. That’s why it’s so important to remain mindful of the signals you’re giving off, especially at the start of the interaction. Early on, a lot of what you do or say around women has subtext, which is another way of describing the signals you’re giving off. For example, if you’re out at a bar, the reason walking up and immediately offering to buy

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a woman a drink is ineffective and unattractive is because the subtext of your offer conveys: “I don’t believe in myself or the value I bring to this interaction so I am trying to bribe you with a free drink in hopes you will overlook my insecurities.” As the interaction goes on, however, the subtext of buying a drink changes... If you’ve been talking to a woman for more than 5 minutes and you’re flirting, offering her a drink conveys an attractive subtext. If you ask in a complimentary, cool way like, “Hey so I’m enjoying talking to you. Allow me to be a gentlemen and get us drinks by the bar.” Done like that, the subtext becomes: “I don’t have a problem being generous with people I find cool and I understand what it means to be a gentleman.” Everything you do or say around women does not need to be micro-analyzed. Doing so will drive you crazy! Yet there are a few key signals you want to make sure to convey, as soon as possible.

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You have a bulletproof sense of yourself. Almost immediately women will test to see if you’re really the guy you’re presenting yourself as. This is especially true if you’re meeting a woman for the first time and you’re coming off very confident or self-assured. Often women will say something negative, challenging, or even insulting just to see if you crumble. If a woman can tell her comment caused a guy to become upset, defensive, insecure, angry, sad, or even just a tad less confident, she’ll interrupt that signal as: this guy has no confidence in who he is…he can’t even handle a little criticism/negativity. Just the other night, Rob was telling me how he approached a girl at a nightclub in Vegas and she started making fun of him for wearing a suit when it was a casual dress

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code. She teased him, “Did your mom make you wear this outfit? Mom’s still picking out your clothes for you, huh?” Rob’s response had to demonstrate he wasn’t put off by the comment. Rob, like any guy who understands how to pass these sorts of tests, knew he had to stand by his decision to wear a suit and her tease didn’t bother him or make him second-guess his decision. Most guys would assume that means Rob’s response should have been something like, “Don’t pretend you’re not loving it!” or, “Oh sorry, were you expecting me to dress like all the other guys in an ill-fitting polo and khakis?” While that may seem like the obvious way to handle her test, unless delivered with perfect vocal tonality, those responses could convey defensiveness or discomfort…

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Instead, Rob agreed with her and then made it into a joke: “Yeah, my mom TOTALLY picked this out for me! She was like, ‘Oh Robby you look so handsome in ya little suit… you’re gonna meet a nice girl tonight, I know it!’ I’ll be sure to tell her you noticed!” By agreeing with her and making it into a joke, the subtext Rob conveyed was that he’s so secure in himself and his decisions that he doesn’t mind joking about it. She is going to have to work for it, too. Too often I’ve coached guys who were head-over-heels with a girl just because she looks good. When guys throw themselves at women, constantly praising and complimenting her when she’s done nothing (other than look good and give them a little attention), it signals desperation. It’s always good to get a girl to feel that she’s working to win you over. One of the

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simplest ways to do this is to joke you’re putting her on a “point system.” Then, if she says something you don’t agree with, you can say, “What? You like that band? Oh man, minus two points for you!” (Of course, if she does and says something cool, you can give her points, too.) Even though it may sound minor, the subtext it conveys is: I like you, but you haven’t won me over yet. I’m not desperate so you need to show me more of your personality before I decided if you’re someone I want to be with. If you give off this signal to her, she’s going to respect you and your affection so much more than your average chump who’s just ready to hand it to her because she’s hot. You can "read" her and see who she really is. An amazing signal to convey is that you see her on a deeper level than most guys.

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Sometimes you can accomplish this within moments of meeting a girl if you know what to look for and what to say. You can do this is by “cold reads,” which are assumptions about a girl based on her behavior. If, say, a girl was acting bossy, you could cold read her: “You probably have a little brother, right? I can tell because you’re sweet to me one minute and a bullythe next.” What’s great about cold reading is that you only have to be partially correct to get her thinking you “understand” her. Even if a girl doesn’t have an older a brother, if she agrees that’s her behavior pattern, she’ll go along with the cold read saying something like, “I don’t have a little brother but I do have little cousins! And I do act like that with them!” Remember: People love talking about themselves and are fascinated

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when someone they just met presumes they know something personal about them. (Why do you think psychics and horoscopes are so popular!?) Use this to your advantage to give off a signal you “understand” her more than the last 20 guys she met. Silence does not scare you. Like most of the signals in this section, using silence to your advantage is counter-intuitive. Most guys fear silence as they feel awkward and so do whatever they can to keep the conversation going. Guys will ask interview-style questions, ask if she’s having a good time, and say pretty much anything so long as it keeps the interaction from going silent… And what signal do you think that gives off? Hopefully you realized that it communicates the guy is desperately try-

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ing to keep the conversation going because he’s afraid if it stops, and he loses her attention, she’ll leave because he’s not attractive enough to keep her there without acting like a dancing monkey… …which a signal so give off without even

many guys realizing it!

To show her you’re not uncomfortable with silence, let there be moments where there’s a silent pauses and wait until SHE jumps in and starts talking. Rob and I call this “playing chicken” because often the person who speaks first seems to be the one trying to impress/ hold the attention of the other person. You "Get it"... Figuratively and literally. The way men and women expect an interaction to progress sexuallyis verydifferent.Most guys—and especially guys who have limited

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sexual experience—think interactions progress like they do in movies: guy waits to make the “big move” and the girl is all over him. Maybe it’s asking her out in a grandiose way, going for the picture-worthy first kiss, or being so smooth that a girl is practically dragging him back home for sex. When guys operate under this presumption in reality, however, they signal to a woman they’re clueless when it comes to sex, which means they probably are not very attractive to women. Outside of Hollywood, guys enjoy abundant sex lives know that the road from meeting to sex for the first time is riddled with speed bumps. It’s important to note that what I call a “speed bump” is what most guys consider to be “rejection.” I’ve already discussed how it doesn’t matter if a girl turns her head when you lean in for a kiss. Her “rejection” of your move isn’t

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the problem and, most likely, it has nothing to do with you or her level of attraction. What DOES matter is how to react. If you get butthurt or show any sort of negative or hurt emotion, you’re signaling that you’re clueless about how a romantic interaction escalates in the real world. Instead, make a joke about it and move on (then try again later, when she feels more comfortable). A quick line you can keep at your fingertips for the next time this happen (and if you’re interacting with girls it WILL happen) is: “Haha you’re right we should have a proper courtship before I ask you out/go for a kiss/invite you home with me/ect. I don’t even know your favorite animal yet! What is it by the way?” That’s a quick, fun way to show her that hitting a speed bump is no big deal, that you respect her, and that you know how to keep things from becoming awkward or weird. All great signals to send!

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Money < Fun It’s really sad that a question Rob and I get a lot from our students is this: “How can I get a girl to pay for a round of drinks?” or, “I don’t think I should have to pay for a date. Is it okay to ask her to split the bill?” While I understand where these guys are coming from, the signal that conveys is two-fold: they’re cheap and they’re “keeping score” of everything that’s happening. Maybe you’ve had this happen out with your friends: you’re all having a great night out, buying each other rounds of drinks. Later in the night, one of your friends realizes he paid for an extra round or the bill wasn’t split perfectly even, and then asks to be reimbursed. It sort of sucks all the fun out of the night and makes you realize: this guy just sits around counting pennies rather

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than enjoying himself out with his friends. Remember: if you’re on a date or out with a girl, it’s not a business transaction! Even if you have to pay a few extra bucks for a round of drinks or even a dinner at a restaurant, who cares? Do you really want to ruin a great vibe over getting some money back? Its more important she sees that you’re fun and not adding up every transaction like you’re keeping a spreadsheet. That being said, don’t overpay for super expensive dinners and gifts before you really know a girl.

A good rule I like to hold myself to is keeping the tab under $100 before sex and/or until I REALLY get to know a girl. Your budget may be different, however one thing should remain the same: don’t ruin a fun vibe over a little money. In the long run the money won’t mat-

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ter, but whether or not you get the girl could (e.g., this might be your next serious girlfriend or even your future wife!). You’re not trying too hard. If a girl sees a guy is trying too hard it’s an instant turn-off. This is doubly true when a guy brags or tells stories that are thinly veiled attempts at impressing her. Ironically, almost any time you “logically” try to impress a woman, it backfires and does the exact opposite.

Interesting,however,the reverse is true also. Whenever a guy says or does things that indicate he’s NOT trying too hard, he’s often perceived as attractive.Agreat way to do this is by being a bit self-depreciating or, as Rob and I called it, showing “cool vulnerability.” Both Rob and I have an entire repertoire of stories we tell girls that poke fun at ourselves. While it’s not advised you

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make fun yourself continually, and especially don’t say anything that makes you look pathetic, telling her a funny story where something embarrassing or unexpected happened to you will usually send her a lot of attractive signals. And if you need help picking the right story or telling it in a humorous way, check out our Horny With Humor and/ or Seductive Storytelling courses! She’s in maybe-land Sending women “mixed signals” is one of the oldest dating tricks in the book (used by both men and women). I like to say that once a woman figures you out, she feels as if she “has” you and you will never “have” her. Put another way: if you know how a movie’s going to end in the first 20 minutes, you’re probably going to get bored quickly and walk out of the theatre.

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Therefore, even if you really feel a girl is special and different, you should still keep her on her toes a bit and make her wonder just how much you like her. (It’s the thrill of the chase!)

One of the simplest ways to do this is by occasionally referring to her as “your friend.” For example, when asking a girl out for drinks, you might text her something like, “Let’s meet up for happy hour… if we play nice together, maybe we can be friends ;)” When you meet up with her, you might then compliment her on how great she looks. Remember, mixed signals means flip-flopping between hot AND cold. A lot of guys only go hot, or only go cold (this is especially true of guys who study a lot of dating advice or think of social interactions like a chess match). Balance calling her your “friend”with some sexualized compliments, like telling that she looks sexy in her dress.

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There’s life for you outside of her. Women want you to have a social life outside of them. That’s what makes dating you fun: they’ll get to meet new people, see new places, and enter into your “world” when she’s with you. If you world simply revolves around her, why would she even need you? (Spoiler alert: she won’t.) This one is hard to fake so it’s best if you ACTUALLY HAVE a life outside her. So get some hobbies, especially ones that require you to socialize with other people. Join a meet up group. Take a class. Do something that gets you out of your house and makes you a little more attractive and/or interesting. (Oh, and playing Xbox and watching movies does NOT count.)

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women are constantly in your life While they may say they hate players, most women secretly find men who are attractive to other women alluring. It’s simply biology—a theory called “pre-selection”. It’s in a female’s DNA to desire a male who she believes has already been “selected” by other females. That being said, society—and especially feminine society—associates “players” with a social stigma. Therefore, if you “brag” about your previous conquests or directly indicate to her that women find you attractive, even if she believes you, likely her guard will go up. Abetterwaytodemonstratethatyou’repre-selected is by dropping very subtle hints. The “hints”togiveoffarethingsyou’dprobablyonly know if you were in the company of women.

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A way to do this instantly is if you notice a girl wearing heels with a red bottom, they are most likely Christian Louboutin shoes. When you say to her, “Shoes with the red bottoms, look at Ms. Louboutin over here…”, assuming she knows you’re straight, she’ll probably ask, “How do you know that?” Just smile and nod. Most women will connect the dots that you probably had an ex-girlfriend who wore those shoes. (The reason I know this is because my ex-girlfriend was obsessed with the “shoes with the red bottoms” and, while annoying to listen to her talk about it at the time, gave me the perfect way to signal I’m pre-selected in a very subtle way.) You are a lover of womankind. Just as you probably think feminists are annoying, women usually want to screen out guys who are misogynists. There are

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lots of men who blame women for all their problems and see women as nothing more than a masturbation sock. Hopefully you’re not one of these men. Aside from the ethics, it’s also a really unattractive attitude. One whiff of such an attitude will send most women running.

Therefore, you want to make sure she picks up signals from you that you enjoy the company of women. An easy—but incredibly effective—way to do this is by talking about female family members in a positive way. Make it a habit to talk up your mom, your sister, your nieces, grandma, anyone you love who’s a female! You are busy... but still make time for her. If she thinks you’re too available, she’ll think you’re either desperate or a loser— and probably both! Therefore, you want to

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send her the signal that you have other things going on in your life other than her.

However, you don’t want to do it in a rude or try-hard sort of way. An easy way to do this is, when making plans for an evening out together, say something like, “I probably can’t stay out late because I have an early call tomorrow but it’d be cool to see you later for a bit.” A statement like that indicates your world doesn’t revolve solely around her and her schedule. Moreover, saying you can’t stay out late will help put her at ease about your sexual expectations, which might make her less likely to flake. Of course, if the date is going well, you can stay out as late as you’d like. Just because you say you couldn’t stay out late doesn’t mean you signed a binding contract to go home early! send her the signal that you have other things going on in your life other than her.

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She Might be Hot But You still Keep It Real. There’s nothing wrong with complimenting a woman on her physical appearance—hell, that’s probably what caught your in the first place! Even if you don’t come right out and tell a woman you think she’s hot, most women are going to assume that you wouldn’t be talking to her if you didn’t already find her attractive. Where a lot of guys go wrong with this is that they hand over all their power to a woman just because of how she looks. Once a woman sees you’re bending over backwards for her just because you think she’s hot, it signals that you clearly are not comfortable around women of her physical caliber. That’s why it’s very important you really know yourself and what like, what your opinions are, and how you see the world,

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and hold to that no matter how a woman feels—even if she’s drop dead gorgeous. Even if she’s insanely hot, if she says something you disagree with, challenge her on it.

It may seem like you’re creating friction, but in actuality you’re getting her to respect you. If you can “keep it real” and assert your views—even if it would be easier to just agree and/or dilute how you really feel—you’ll signal that, while you appreciate her looks, that’s only a start. That sort of challenge is exciting for most women and they’ll enjoy your genuineness a lot more than the sycophants who worship her only for her looks.

½

Not walking on eggshells

Have you ever “played it safe” with a woman? For instance, have you ever thought of a good joke or line, but stopped short of saying it

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because you were afraid it might “offend” her. While you should use some discretion in what you say around women (don’t bring up poop, piss, farts, weird serial killer shit, etc.), a lot of what you filter should stop—especially if it’s just a little edgy. When you make jokes or comments that show you’re not walking on eggshells, most women find it humorous and refreshing.

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things

to keep in mind as you go forward

N

ow that we’ve gone over all the signs and covered the correct mindset, you should have a good idea about how to read a woman’s interest level. Some of the ideas I’ve shared with you in this book are very important and you need to decide right now that you are going to do the following three things...

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foreplay first

Y

ou’re not going to have feelings for a girl— you’re not going to convince yourself that you’re in love with a girl—until you’ve at least had heavyforeplaywith her.Preferablysex,but if you’ve been doing everything but sex with her, you still should be OK...

Y

Click

ou’re also NOT going to display any “boyfriend behavior” to her until AFTER you’ve hooked up with her. This article explains 8 common behaviors to avoid in the beginning: HERE to read the article

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Know when to cut your losses

M

ake a vow to yourself that you’re going to cut your losses if things don’t work out. You’re not going to chase the loss. If a girl is giving you multiple negative signs, even if at one point she seemed really into you, you need to move on. One thing that I tell guys all the time is that a good-looking girl has a million guys in her life. If all the sudden a girl that was really

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3 things to keep in mind

hot towards you goes cold, it’s probably because another guy came into the picture. Usually that guy is a guy that was from her past, maybe a guy she had really liked at some point and now wants back in her life. Maybe he’s an ex-boyfriend or a guy she had a crush on. It is what it is. Whenever a girl goes from calling you all the time to suddenly not calling you, it’s not because of something you did. It’s not because you pissed her off by saying something or not saying something. It’s because another guy came into the picture. Sadly, 90% of the time I’ve been right about this. I hate telling guys this. It’s one of the worst things to hear. I feel terrible when I have to tell a guy on a coaching call, “She’s probably with somebody else.” But accepting that and moving on is the best (and only) thing you can really do.

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3 things to keep in mind

Now, if you decide to pursue her, it is very possible to get her. But it won’t happen by doing what you’ve been doing. You’re going to need a completely new strategy. That new strategy requires a completely new way of thinking. We teach the strategy in our program Unlock Her Legs. If you are dead set on going after that “hard to get girl” than I recommend going further with your education. You can learn more about the program in this video: Learn More about the Unlock Her Legs program

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escalate It

O

n the other hand, when you’re talking to a girl and you see some of the positive signs I’ve mentioned in this book, you’ve got to promise yourself that you are going to really step up your efforts and escalate the conversation to more-intimate, more-flirtatious levels. Decide right now that if the signs are there, you are going to go for the kiss. You’re going to get her number. You’re going to close the deal.

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Reminder Checklist

frames of mind

[ ]Always Assume Intesrest [ ]Trust Your Instincts [ ]Look at Your Situation From an Outsiders’ Perspective [ ]Never Decide You Really Like a Girl Before Sleeping with Her [ ]Never Chase a Loss

Signs A Girl Wants You to Approach Her [ ]She Makes Her Way Over Towards You, and For No Reason Stands in Your General Area. [ ]She’s with a Group and She “Accidentally” Separates Herself from the Group. [ ]If She’s Already Close to You, She Opens Her Body Language to be More Inviting so You See She’s Available to Approach. [ ]She “Accidentally” Bumps Into You. [ ]She Eavesdrops on Your Conversation. [ ]She Drops Something Near You Hoping You’ll Pick It up.

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[ ]She Gives You an “Opener.” [ ]She Catches You Looking and Pushes Her Hair Out of the Way. [ ]She Exaggerates Her Moves or Acts A Little Odd.

Signs A Girl You Just Met Is Into You

[ ]She Asks If You Have a Girlfriend. [ ]She Calls You a Player, a Jerk, or an Asshole. [ ]She Takes a Sip of Your Drink. [ ]She Leans into You or Gets Your Attention by Touching Your Hand or Arm Lightly. [ ]She Displays “Nervous Energy.” [ ]She Actively Tries to Keep the Conversation Going. [ ]She Teases You. [ ]She Introduces You to Her Friends. [ ]She Lets Her Friends Leave to Continue Talking to You. [ ]She Follows You to Another Location.

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[ ]Her Voice Will Change. [ ]She Accentuates her Femininity. [ ]She Will Try to Validate Herself to You. [ ]Too Much Exaggerated Disinterest. [ ]She Looks Away First. Or She Looks Away and then Looks Back. [ ]She Holds Your Hands or Touches You in a Prolonged Way. [ ]She Lingers and/or Presses into You When She Hugs You.

Signs A Girl You Just Met Is NOT Into You

[ ]She Complains that She’s Tired. [ ]She Keeps Yawning... [ ]She Never Asks Your Name. [ ]You Ask Her Name and She Doesn’t Reciprocate by Asking Yours. [ ]She Quickly Brings Up Her Boyfriend. [ ]She Avoids Eye Contact. [ ]She has Closed Off Body Language. [ ]She Gives You Short, One-Word Answers.

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Signs THAT SHE IS A COCKTEASE

[ ]She Cuts Off at the High Points. [ ]She is too High Energy. [ ]She’s too Comfortable Touching You Too Soon.

6 Ways to Actively Find Out if a Woman is Into You [ ]Go in for a Kiss. [ ]Make an Offhand Comment like, “We Should Hangout Sometime...” [ ]Try the High-Five Test. [ ]Take Her Hand and Lead Her Somewhere. [ ]Make a Joke about Your Wife and Kids. [ ]Ask Personal Questions.

Signs a Girl You've Known Awhile is Into You [ ]She Sends You Random Text Messages. [ ]She Wants to Introduce You to Her Friends. [ ]She Makes Future Plans with You. [ ]She Instigates Intimacy.

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[ ]She Always Makes Herself Available. [ ]She Gets a Second Wind. [ ]She Continues to Fix Herself Up When She Knows She’s Going to Be Seeing You. [ ]She Pays More Attention to You than Others while at a Social Event. [ ]She Spends Time on You even When You’re Not Around [ ]She Stalks You on Facebook. [ ]She Wants You to Herself. [ ]She “Bites” when You Send Her the “Bluff” Text. [ ]She Lets Her Friends Leave to Continue Talking to You. [ ]The Timing of Her Texts Indicate Interest. [ ]She Sends “I’m a Fun Girl” Texts.

Signs a Girl You've Known Awhile is NOT Into You [ ]She Says She’s “Not Read” for a Relationship. [ ]She Never Calls You and Avoids Your Calls. [ ]She Texts You Back One-Word Answers.

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[ ]She Cancels Plans and is Always Busy. [ ]She Avoids Any Sort of Public Displays of Affection. [ ]She’s Sketchy or Secretive. [ ]She Tries to Push You Off on Other Girls or Suggests You’d be Good for One of Her Friends. [ ]At Social Events, She’s Mingling and Talking to Everything Else and Leaving You Alone. [ ]She Doesn’t Send You a Friend Request or Accept Your Request.

Reading Her Sexual Signals

[ ]Using Double Entredes as Bait to See how “Dirty” Her Mind is. [ ]Suggesting Another Venue. [ ]She Brings Up Someting at Your Place. [ ]She Says “I’m Not Going to Sleep with You Tonight.” [ ]Hair, Neck Gaze. [ ]Ask Her the “Innocent” Question. [ ]She Presents an Easy-to-Overcome “Obstacle.” [ ]“I Can’t because it will make Me Tired.”

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Signals You Should be Sending Her

[ ]You have a Bulletproof Sense of Self. [ ]She has to Work for It, Too. [ ]You can “Read” Her and See Who She Really Is. [ ]You can Handle Silence. [ ]You “Get” How Escalation Works. [ ]Fun Trumps Money. [ ]You’re Not Trying Too Hard. [ ]She’s a Maybe. [ ]You have a Life Outside Her. [ ]You are Used to Having Women in Your Life. [ ]You Enjoy Women’s Company and Respect Them. [ ]You’re Busy...but make Time for Her. [ ]She Brings Up Someting at Your Place. [ ]You Keep it Real. [ ]You’re Not Walking on Eggshells with Her.

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agnetic Messaging is a stepby-step system that will show you show to craft “Magnetic” Text Messages to quickly engage, connect with, and turn on a woman… Texts that stand out and shatter to pieces all the other messages she gets from otherguys… Gets her mind racing with excitement… wondering what you’re going to message her next… And allows you to quickly and easily pull the trigger and get her out with you, close the deal, and get her back to your bedroom… Click About

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Bobby Rio - 88½ Ways To Read Her Mind

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