The
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Psychology ..
DenisWaitley
Nightingale O MCMWO(VII Copyright
Nightingale Conant Corporation 7300 North Lehigh Avenue Niles, Illinois 60714 1-7WM7-0300 1-800-323-5552
rHE PSYCHOLOGY OF WINNING T
here is often only a small difference between the top leaders in every field and those who merely "do well." In The Psychology of Winning, author-narrator Denis Waitley offers simple, yet profound principles shared by the great achievers of our time ... principles of thought and healthy behavior that guide men and women to the top in every field of endeavor... principles that give you the winning edge in every situation. During your "listening journey" into the innerspace of your virtually unexplored and largely untapped mental potential, you'll become aware of the wide-ranging studies of and in-depth research into every phase of human behavior that went into creating this dynamic audiocassette program. From Sigmund Freud's early exploration of the subconscious to Dr. Hans Selye's pioneering efforts in understanding stress. From Abraham Maslow's "Third Force" psychology to today's relaxation response, meditation and electronic biofeedback experiments. From the first attempt to clearly define personality traits and the hierarchy of human needs to the studies of astronauts, super-achievers and the latest findings of modern science.
The Psychology of Winning presents the essence of this research in ten basic principles, the Ten Qualities of a Total Winner. All in straightforward, easily understood audio sessions for immediate use
N T E s O N L I S T E N I N G , T H I N K I N G br D O I N G
THE PSYCHOLOGY OF WINNING How THE PSYCHOLOGY OF WINNING Can Benefit You Most The final value to you of The Psychology of Winning depends on how many of its insights and guidelines you can, or choose to, adopt as permanent parts of your own growing personality. When you consider that even the most practiced listener picks up, reflects on, mulls over, and internalizes only a tiny portion of what he or she hears, it is clear that repeated listening is essential. Try to listen to each cassette - especially those concerning personality areas in which you feel the desire to improve-as frequently as possible over a long period. You'll be surprised and delighted with the results.
Jot Down Your Own Ideas While listening, keep pen and paper near, and be prepared to stop your cassette player. When an attitudelaction technique appeals to you, stop the tape. Think about the idea, about its value to you-how it could change and improve your life. Think about how you can apply it. Visualize yourself doing it and making it pay off for you. Jot down notes to remind yourself of your thinking and to help you take action during the days ahead. Then re-start the tape and continue your listening.
Act on Your Ideas Until intelligent thought is linked with appropriate action and follow-through, there i s no real accomplishment. Once you've grasped the attitude1 action technique and how to apply it -ACT. Put it to work in your daily life. The results may seem slow and incremental at first. But remember you're building something significant... you're building a successful human life. If you are determined to stick with the program, you'll soon discover you are developing a truly effective system for coping with stressful physical and emotional confrontationsfor harmonizing with and leading others-for moving your life forward to greater expectationsand, perhaps, most important of all,for feeling the personal satisfaction which comes with setting new goals and achieving them on schedule.
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POSITIVE SELF-EXPECTANCY
Synonyms: Optimism, hope, enthusiasm Antonyms: Pessimism, cynicism, despair Proverb: "That which you fear or expect most will likely come to pass. The body manifests what the mind harbors." Summary: The most identifiable quality of a total winner is an overall attitude of personal optimism and enthusiasm. Winners understand the psychosomatic relationship -psyche and soma; mind and body-and that the body expresses what concerns the mind. They know life is a self-fulfilling prophecy; a person usually gets what he or she actively expects. and worries turn into distressful anxiety... the production of antibodies and hormones changes ... resistance levels are lowered, and you are more vulnerable to disease and accident. Conversely, since your mind and body are trying t o comply with instructions t o achieve a condition of "homeostasis" or balance, if your mental expectancy is healthy and creative, your body will seek to display this feeling with better health, energy and well-being! Many common maladies -headaches, shingles, low back pain, ulcers, hives, asthma, and certain allergies are often identified with emotional rather than physiological causes. Certainly, hereditary and environmental factors are significant. However, by expecting the best, you are preparing yourself physically and mentally for the demands of winning. Leadership -attracting other people's support and cooperation- is a natural byproduct of positive self-expectancy.
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A mnner's self-talk: "I was good today. I'll be better tomorrow." Losers say: "With my luck, I was bound to fail."
I Rate Yourself Before You Begin 1 Before listening to POSITIVE SELF-EXPECTANCY, ask yourself the important questions in the SelfAppraisal section below. Look for better ways of doing things suggested by your Self-Appraisal. Add your own suggestions to the ten action stimulators listed in the Action Applications. After applying them for a week, appraise yourself again and note the growth.
ACTION APPLICATIONS 1. Wake up happy. Optimism is a learned behavioral attitude. Start early in life- and early in the day- developing positive selfexpectancy. Wake up t o music. Read an inspirational message. Sing in the shower. Breakfast with an optimist. On your way to work, listen to a motivational tape. 2.
Use positive self-talk morning to night. "It will be another good day for me." "Things usually work out my way." "I expect a great year." "We'll make it.'?
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Find something good in all personal relationships, and accentuate the blessings or lessons in even the most trying circumstances.
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View problems as opportunities. After listing your most pressing problems - ones blocking professional and personal fulfillment, write a one-sentence definition of each problem. Now rewrite the definition-this time a s an opportunity or exercise to challenge your creativity or ingenuity. Imagine you are advising your best friend.
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Learn to stay relaxed and friendly no matter what tension you're under. Instead of taking part in group griping, single out someone or something t o praise. Instead of being unhelpfully critical, be constructively helpful. When tension or anxiety enter, it's your signal to lower the tone and pitch of your voice; to breath slowly and deeply; to sit back and relax
your muscles; and t o respond calmly t o problems with suggested solutions. 6.
Think well of your health. Cure the curable. Prevent the preventable. Eqjoy the rest.
In projecting your health conditions to others, realize your daily conversation is the automatic readout of your thoughts and subconscious emotions. Use positive self-talk. "I feel better." "I feel young and vital." 8.
In dealing with children or subordinates, while ensuring proper environment and health, focus on regard for and benefits of being well and productive. Too much attention paid to minor health and environmental irritations indicates possible value or pay-off to being sick, a sort of child's variation on "workmen's compensation," which, if habitual, can lead to allergies, aches, absenteeism and exaggerated reactions.
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When people tell you their problems, give them solution-oriented feedback. When the problems are your own, focus on the immediate question-"What's the answer ?"
10. Remain optimistic by associating with winners and optimists. You can be realistic and optimistic at the same time. Realistically examine the facts of a situation while remaining optimistic about your ability t o contribute to a solution or to the best among many alternatives.
Synonyms: Desire for change, excitation, urge Antonyms: Fear, compulsion, inhibition Proverb: "Winners dwell on their desires (rewards of success), not their limitations (penalties of failure)." Summary: The positive self-motivation of total winners has two sources: (1) a self-expectant personal and world view and (2) an awareness that, though fear and desire are among the greatest motivators, fear is destructive-but desire leads to achievement, success and happiness. They focus on the rewards of success and actively tune-out fears of failure. Individuals are pushed away from or pulled toward concepts and people who act a s negative or positive magnets. Winners focus on goals, desires and solutions, always moving in the direction of their currently dominant thoughts. They dwell on desired results (magnificent obsessions), and look at where they want to go, instead of troubled places they may have been or may still hide. People resist change, for it upsets present security. People will change dramatically when it's a matter of life or death. And people will change happily and effectively when they want to.
A Winner's self-talk: "I want to! I can do it!" Losers say: "1 have to. I can't."
I Rate Yourself Before You Begin I Before listening to POSITIVE SELF-MOTIVATION, ask yourself the important questions in the SelfAppraisal section below. Look for better ways of doing things suggested by your Self-Appraisal. Add your own suggestions to the ten action stimulators listed in the Action Applications. After applying them for a week, appraise yourself again and note the growth.
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ACTION APPLICATIONS
1. Replace can't with can in your vocabulary. Can applies to 90% of the challenges you encounter. 2.
Replace try with will in your vocabulary. This is a form of semantics, establishing a new attitude of dwelling on things you will do, rather than on things you plan to try,with its built-in excuse for possible failure.
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Focus your attention and energy on the achievement of objectives you are involved with right now. Forget about the consequences of failure. Remember you usually get what you think of most.
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Make a list of five of your most important current wants or desires. Next to each, write what the benefit or payoff is to you when it's achieved. Look at this list before you go to bed each night and upon awakening each morning.
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If there is something you want to do or experience, but are afraid to try, this week seek out and talk to in person someone who currently is doing what you want to do, and doing it well. Whether it is skiing, speaking, selling, earning, hang gliding, or even being a good spouse or parent, find an expert. Get the facts, and make a project of learning all you can about winners in the field, Take a course, get personal lessons. Generate excitement by mentally seeing yourself enjoying the rewards of success.
Develop a simple new self-talk vocabulary about yourself. For each of your goals, make it a habit to repeat again and again, "I want to -I can." "I want to-I can." When motivating others, paint a picture of what the achievement looks like and feels like; demonstrate your own confidence and belief in their ability to accomplish the objective. Rather than saying "Firings will continue until morale improves" or "I'll divorce you unless you stop drinking1'-motivate with "I've been observing your performance and want you to know how encouraged I am with your progress" or "There's a great play on at the civic theater. Let's go there instead of the club Saturday." Don't worry about your fears. They are part of being human. If any become obsessive, f i s t get a thorough health check-up for an organic association. Then consider professional counseling involving behavior modification, relaxation and biofeedback techniques. When people tell you their problems, give them solution-oriented feedback. When the problems are your own, focus on the immediate question - "What's the answer?" 10. When you start a project, concentrate all your energy and intensity, without distraction, on the successful completion of that project.
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POSITIVE SELF-IMAGE Synonyms: Constructive imagination, visualization, creativity Antonyms: Dark imaginings, worries, neuroses Proverb: "What you see is what you get!" Summary: Winners are especially aware of the vital importance of self-image and the role imagination plays in its creation and upgrading. They know self-image acts a s a subconscious life-governing device: if they can't see themselves doing something, achieving something, they literally cannot do it! They also know the self-image can be changed. The subconscious is incapable of differentiating between a real success and a success imagined again and again, vividly and in full detail. Behavior and performance usually are consistent with self-image, which is an intricately woven concept made up of all fears, feelings and emotional responses to all past personal experiences. What is perceived as real is filtered or shaded differently from . what others perceive by a time-grown, robotlike self-image. What is frequently imagined as being real often becomes the dominant version of reality. Winners imagine and fantasize who they would most like to become-and the robot self-image reads the script, memorizes it and acts accordingly.
A Winner's self-talk. "I see myself changing, growing, achieving, winning."
Losers say: "They're my hangups, faults and stupidities... and I'm stuck with 'em."
I Rate Yourself Before You Begin 1 Before listening to POSITIVE SELF-IMAGE, ask yourself the important questions in the SelfAppraisal section below. Look for better ways of doing things suggested by your Self-Appraisal. Add your own suggestions to the ten action stimulators listed in the Action Applications. After applying them for a week, appraise yourself again and note the growth.
m ACTION APPLICATIONS 1. Walk on the beach, in the country or in a park, recalling your childhood play. Dust off and "oil" your imagination. It rules your world.
Unselective television viewing breeds tunnel vision and the creative imagination will vanish.
Set aside 20 to 30 minutes a day for relaxation. Imagine achieving and enjoying your most dreamed-of desires. Do this as if sou were previewing three television shorts. In one sequence, achieve a professional triumph (imagine the award ceremony, promotion announcement or bonus payment). Another scene involves family happiness (imagine a special reunion or an outing together). Finally, you alone are relishing some personal victory (imagine a tennis or golf championship or a weigh-in at the gym). Get the actual sensation of each event and how good it feels to experience each one.
7. Through deep relaxation, meditation, autosuggestion, or biofeedback training, develop the ability to "daydream". Smell the salt air, hear the lapping waves, see the sail full in the wind and the gulls on the wing-as if the exhilaration of ocean sailing were really happening.
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Read a biography of someone you admire each month. As you read, imagine yourself achieving the same accomplishments.
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Relax and visualize your own imagined triumphs. With soft background music and with the subjective window in your subconscious thinking open, make yourself receptive to your own creative images.
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If you spend time around young children, weekly before bedtime become a story teller, using your imagination for a good, oldfashioned fairy tale or science fiction story.
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Limit television viewing-yours and your children's-to stimulating, special shows.
8. Listen t o educational and inspirational cassette tapes while you drive and before retiring in the evening. Listening sparks the imagination and, as in learning a foreign language, promotes permanent memory retention. 9.
Write a two-page resume of your professional and personal assets as if you were applying for the job of a lifetime. Instead of past experience, list your maximum current potential and ultimate future potential. Read this autobiography every week, revise it every two months and show it only to those individuals you believe can and will help you toward your goals.
10. Since self-image is the conceptual, visual, display of self-esteem,take stock this weekend of those images with which you display yourself: clothes, auto, home, garage, closet, dresser drawers, desk, photos, lawn, garden, etc. Make a priority list to get rid of all clutter and sharpen up all the expressions of your life.
POSITIVE SELF-DIRECTION r~a&
Synonyms: Goal-seeking, purpose-oriented, cybernetic Antonyms: Aimless, non-specific, wandering Proverb: "What you get, is what you set!"
Summary: Winners have clearly defined, constantly referred to game plans and purposes. They know where they're going every day, every month, every year. Their objectives range from life-long goals to daily priorities. When they're not actively pursuing their goals, they're thinking about them hard! They understand the difference between goal-achieving and tension-relieving acts, Eoncentrating o n the former. purpose-is the engine powering their lives. Everyone has purpose. For some it is to eat, for others to get through the day and for others revenge, getting even. Personal growth, creative expression and sharing, loving relationships are common goals that make winners uncommon people. Clearly defined, written goals make purpose achievable. The mind's biocomputer, needs specific instructions and directions. Most people don't reach their goals because they don't define them, learn about them or even seriously consider them as believable or achievable. In other words, they never set them. They fail by default. Winners can tell you where they are going and why, approximately how long it will take, what they plan to do on the way, and who will share the adventure with them. Get a game plan for life!
A Winner's self-talk "I have a plan to make it happen. I'll do what's necessary to get what I want." Losers say: "I'll try to hang in there-muddle through the day somehow."
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yourself Before YOU Begin
Before listening to POSITIVE SELF-DIRECTION, ask yourself the important questions in the SelfAppraisal section below. Look for better ways of doing things suggested by your Self-Appraisal. Add your own suggestions to the ten action stimulators listed in the Action Applications. After applying them for a week, appraise yourself again and note the growth.
1. Write a one-page brief of your lifetime goals. What do you stand for, what do you want your children to tell their children about you? 2.
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For each of the next five years write one major goal in each of the eight following areas: career , physical, family, personal attitude, financial, public service, educational and entertainment. List your top priority goals for the next year using the same eight categories as in number 2 above. After reviewing your progress toward this year's goals, on December 31 or January 1,set your annual goals for next year.
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Use a large desk-top calendar and set your time-priority goals for next month. What will you do, where will you go, with whom will you communicate during the next thirty days in order to acheive your annual goals?
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Use a pocket week-at-a-glance type calender and set activities for next week that will help acheive your monthly goals. Review it and check off accomplishments each morning and evening.
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Set your daily goals for tomorrow at the close of each working day. Use an 8 1/2" by 11" page. Review it before bedtime and early the next morning. Like a shopping list, check off each item as accomplished and carry over into the following day those not completed.
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Draft a financial game plan to fuel your personal growth cycle. Select a hypothetical income goal at retirement age, adjusting for inflation probabilities. Determine annual
savings and investment yields you must generate from now on to build the assets to provide the income you need. Check your insurance against income loss, your emergency and contingency savings, and plan your monthly budget to provide a discretionary surplus for a savings and investment plan. 8.
For each of your goals, assemble support material-news articles, books, tapes, pictures from magazines, consumer reports, cost estimates, color swatches, samples, etc. Review these often.
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Review your goals with experts with proven records of success actually accomplishing what you've set out to do. Differentiate between those who want to sell you and those who sincerely want to help you. One of the best ways is to pay someone strictly for advice and counsel, someone with no end product or other service to sell.
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For best results in goal achieving use these basic rules: (a) Set short-range goals (day, week, month, six months) @) Set lower-level goals (relatively easy to accomplish) (c) Set incremental goals (little by little, part of the big objective) (d) Get group reinforcement (consult a support group interested in your gob) (e) Ceremonializethe achievement (certificate, reward, dinner, trip, recreation, new clothing, etc.)
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POSITIVE SELF-CONTROL Synonyms: Self-determination,volition, choice
Rate Yourself Before You Begin
Antonyms: Irresponsibility, indecision, chance Proverb: "Life is a do-it-myself project. I take the credit or blame for my performance." Summary: A Total Winner's positive self-control is acceptance of 100% responsibility for causing the effects in his or her life. Winners know they personally have the power to take control of many more aspects of their lives, both mental and physical, than they thought possible. They know that barring organic damage or congenital faults, self-control is the key to both mental and physical health and can contribute enormousfy to total well-being. Instead of bio-rhythm, computers, horoscopes, gurus and the government, you take credit for determining and creating your own place in this world. You're in the driver's seat in your own life. You can learn how to respond and adapt more successfully to life's stress by accepting responsibility for causing your own effects. It's not so much "what happens" that counts in life, it's how you take it. The real essence of Positive Self-Control is that nearly everything in life is volitional; each of us has many more choices and alternatives than we are willing to consider. We even have control over certain body functions we thought were purely involuntary. Winners really do make it happen for themselves.
A Winner's self-talk "I take the credit or the blame for my performance." Losers say: "I can't understand why life did this to me."
Before listening to POSITIVE SELF-CONTROL, ask yourself the important questions in the SelfAppraisal section below. Look for better ways of doing things suggested by your Self-Appraisal. Add your own suggestions to the ten action stimulators listed in the Action Applications. After applying them for a week, appraise yourself again and note the growth.
ACTION APPLICATIONS
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Take the blame and the credit, honestly and openly, for your position in life.
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In place of "I have to," use "I've decided to." In place of "I'm afraid to," use "I'm more comfortable doing this" as a condition for nonparticipation.
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Carry the affirmative motto of Cause and Effect into every transaction-"My rewards in life will reflect my service and contribution."
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Learn how to relax mentally and physically instead of using external stimulants and depressants (unless prescribed by a competent physician for a specific health problem). A nearby university usually will attract the more legitimate ongoing relaxation and mental and physical fitness programs.
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Set a specific time frame each week, preferably each day, to initiate action letters and calls on your behalf. Don't wait for invitations to succeed. Go for it! If someone has not responded to a letter from you within two weeks, follow-up. If there is still no response, take an alternative approach with someone else.
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Carry another affirmative motto with you: "Action TNT (Today Not Tomorrow)".
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Create your own best horoscope, listing positive alternatives t o habits that you
seriously want to change. Model your winning habits on authorities with proven records of success.
8. Remember that your position or job is a structure that couldn't care less about you one way or the other. Your company cares, your family cares, but your job doesn't care. Only you can take the initiative to give your job what it deserves. For the next 30 days, go all out! Dedicate yourself to giving your maximum effort to your job, your company, your routine, your service to others. At the end of that time, you'll find yourself renewing your dedication for another month. 9. Make an investment in your knowledge and skill development. The only real security is the kind inside each of us. Practice what Ben Franklin wrote: "If an individual empties his purse into his head, no one can take it from him." Seminars, books, tapes- take charge! 10. Set your alarm a half-hour early tomorrow morning and leave it at the earlier setting. Use this extra half-hour of your life to wake up and live. Use this time to answer the question, how can I best spend my time today on priorities that are important to Me? When you look in the mirror, do you see someone your parents, friends, spouse, or company wanted you to be? Do you really see that someone you wanted you to be? It's your choice. It takes just as much effort for a bad life as it does for a good life.
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POSITIVE SELF-DISCIPLINE Synonyms: Achievement simulation, drill, practice Antonyms: Repetitive error, inconsistency, lack of follow-through Proverb: "Habits begin as harmless thoughtslike flimsy cobwebs-then, with practice, become unbreakable cables to shackle or strengthen our lives." Summary: Self-discipline is the winning edge that achieves goals, the ability to practice within. Like astronauts, championship athletes and skilled surgeons, winners practice flawless techniques in their minds over and over again. Knowing thought begets habit, they discipline their thoughts to create the habit of superb performance-the mark of a Total Winner. Most people forget the routine for learning a skill: Desire, Information, Assimilation and Repetition. We learned how to drive, type, speak a foreign language-why is it so difficult to apply learning to our most important goals? Self-discipline can effect permanent change in your self-image and in you. Selfdiscipline is mental practice -the commitment to memory of thoughts and emotions overriding information stored in the subconscious memory bank. Through relentless repetition, these new inputs into our "robot achievement mechanism" result in the creation of a new self-image.
A Winner's self-talk: "Of course I can do it! I've practiced it mentally a thousand times." Losers say: "How can you expect me to do it? I don't know how!"
I Rate Yourself Before You Begin I Before listening to POSITIVE SELF-DISCIPLINE, ask yourself the important questions in the SelfAppraisal section below. Look for better ways of doing things suggested by your Self-Appraisal. Add your own suggestions to the ten action stimulators listed in the Action Applications. After applying them for a week, appraise yourself again and note the growth.
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ACTION APPLICATIONS Get current, first-hand experience with stateof-the-art simulation. Make an appointment to visit one of the following during the next 30 days: a military flight simulator, an airline pilot training simulator, or a computer simulation training facility at a university.
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Simulate goal achieving in free, relaxed times -those few early minutes upon awakening each day, in the bath or shower, during your commute, during lunch (if you're alone), on a morning, afternoon or evening stroll. The very best time is at night, in an easy chair or in bed during the "twilight minutes" just prior to sleep.
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Be relentlessly persistent in rehearsing your goal achievements. Losing and winning are both learned habits; it takes days and weeks of constant practice in order to overcome entrenched attitudes and lifestyles.
Listen to audiocassettes on the art of visualization and simulation. Learn the steps for conditioning your own mind to relax and become most receptive to your own self-talk.
3. List five necessary but unpleasant tasks you've put off. Give each task a completion date, then start and finish each. Immediate action on unpleasant projects reduces stress and tension. 4.
"That's more like me." If you performed badly, your self-talk should be "That's not like me; I perform better than that." Replay the performance correctly in your imagination.
When you simulate and visualize goals, imagine the achievement of the specifics exactly a s if they had already been accomplished. For example, for a weight-loss goal, imagine looking trim and firm in a bathing suit or tennis outfit. Daily, rehearse every important goal achievement simulation over and over in your imagination like a TV football instant replay, as if you had already reached the goals. After every important performance, control your self-talk to elevate your self-image. If you performed well, your self-talk should be
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Discipline your body to relax. Relieve built-up stress by engaging in some form of "ballplaying" as a routine. This means handball, racquetball, tennis, golf, punching bag, or something involving physical impact.
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Discipline your body t o improve your cardiovascular system by jogging, walking, swimming or some other healthy form of motion at least three times per week. An optimum distance is 12 to 18 miles per week. Eat nutritional, balanced meals instead of junk food.
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POSITIVE SELF-ESTEEM Synonyms: Self-worth, self-respect, selfconfidence Antonyms: Self-deprecation, self-doubt, selfconsciousness Proverb: "If you love yourself, then you can give love away. How can you give what you don't feel?" Summary: Perhaps more than any other quality, self-esteem is the door to healthy high achievement and happiness. Winners have a deepdown feeling of their own worth. They know that, contrary t o popular belief, selfacce~tanceand deserving are not necessarilv legaEies from wise, loving parents- history is full of saints rising from gutters and literal monsters growing up in loving families. Winners aren't outer-directed. Recognizing their uniqueness, they develop and maintain their own high standards. They don't give in to fear and anxiety. Accept yourself as an imperfect, changing, worthwhile person. Realize that liking yourself and feeling you're a super individual in your own special way is not necessarily egotistical. Take pride in what you are accomplishing and in the unique person you are, and enjoy just being alive right now. Understand the truth that, although we as individuals are not born with equal physical and mental attributes, we are born with the equal right to feel the excitement and joy of believing we deserve the very best in life. Most winners imagine and believe in their own worth, even when they have nothing but a dream to hold on to.
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A Winner's self-talk: "I do things well because I'm that type of person." Losers say: "I'd rather be somebody else."
IRate Yourself Before You Begin I Before listening to POSITNE SELF-ESTEEM, ask yourself the important questions in the SelfAppraisal section below. Look for better ways of doing things suggested by your Self-Appraisal. Add your own suggestions to the ten action stimulators listed in the Action Applications. After applying them for a week, appraise yourself again and note the growth.
1. Regardless of pressure from your friends and peer group, dress and look your best at all times. Personal grooming and lifestyle appearance provide an instantaneous projection on the surface of how you feel about yourself inside. 2.
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Volunteer your own name first in every telephone call and whenever you meet someone new. By paying value to your own name in communication, you are developing the habit of paying value to yourself as an individual. Take stock of your good reasons for selfesteem today. Write down what your blessings are-who and what you are thankful for. Your accomplishments-what you have done that you're proud of. And your goalswhat your dreams and ambitions are.
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When anyone pays you a compliment for any reason, accept the value paid with a simple, courteous "thank you.''
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When you attend meetings, lectures and conferences-sit up front in the more prominent rows. Your purpose for going is to listen, learn and possibly exchange questions and answers with the keynote speakers.
Make a conscious effort to make your walk in public more erect and with a relaxed but more rapid pace. It has been proven that individuals who walk erect and briskly usually are confident of where they are going. Set your own internal standards, instead of comparing yourself to others. Keep upgrading your own standards in personal grooming, behavior, lifestyle, professional accomplishments, relationships, etc. When you talk to yourself and to others about yourself, use encouraging, affirmative language. Focus on uplifting and building adjectives and adverbs. Everything you say about yourself is subconsciously being recorded by others, but more importantly by your own self-image. Keep a self-development plan ongoing at all times. Sketch it out on paper-the knowledge you'll require, the behavior modification you'll achieve, the changes in your life that will result. Seek out the real winners in life as friends and role models. Misery loves company, but so does success! SMILE! In each and every language, in each and every culture, it is the universal code for "I'm O.K. You're O.K. too"!
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POSITIVE SELF-DIMENSION Synonyms: Total person, visionary, humanist Antonyms: Shallowness, egocentricity, superficiality Proverb: "When you create other winners like yourself, life will pay you back and shine its sun upon your face and put the wind at your back." Summary: Winners see their total person in such a fully-formed perspective that they literally become part of the "big picture" of life -and it of them. They know themselves intimately. They see themselves through others' eyes. They feel as one with nature and the universe. ~ n they d learn from the past, plan for the future and live as fully as possible in the present. Winners create other winners without exploiting them. Winners live in harmony with their loved ones, their friends and their communities. Winners practice the double-win attitude: "If I help you win, then I win." Positive self-dimension is understanding the vulnerability of the life process and the delicate balance of ecology. Self-dimensionfitting in-draws upon the spiritual power woven intricately into every fiber of our being. Winners understand the mortality of their bodies, and are able to age gracefully. They don't necessarily accept death as the final gun in the game of life, but as a transition they may never fully comprehend, yet do not fear. Winners plant shade trees under which they know they'll never sit. A Wmer's self-talk: "I live every moment, enjoying as much, relating as much, doing as much, giving as much as I possibly can." Losers say: "Sm only concerned with me today."
I Rate Yourself Before You Begin
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Before listening to POSITIVE SELF-DIMENSION, ask yourself the important questions in the SelfAppraisal section below. Look for better ways of doing things suggested by your Self-Appraisal. Add your own suggestions to the ten action stimulators listed in the Action Applications. After applying them for a week, appraise yourself again and note the growth.
I ACTION APPLICATIONS 1. Ask yourself the question, how do I fit into my family, my company, my profession, my community, my nation, my world? 2.
Treat people more like brothers and sisters. Treat animals more like people. Treat nature more carefully and tenderly -she is precariously balancing our future survival.
3. Pay value to your spouse or loved ones today with a touch and an "I love y o u . ' ~ l o w e r s , poems, cards are ever-green! 4.
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Tonight kiss a child goodnight with an added, "You are so special and I love you for who you are." And tomorrow listen to and play with that child for a while as if you were a playmate again. Tell a parent or relative in person or by phone how much he or she means to you today.
6.
Spend time listening to and giving encouragement to an elder each week.
7.
Make a contribution to something or someone for which there is no direct payoff o r obligation.
8.
This Saturday do something you have wanted to do for years. And repeat this process once each month.
9.
Experiment with five or six hours sleep per night, while being kind to your body with good nutrition and exercise. Over a lifetime, the additional productive hours available amount to 12 more years of life.
10. Learn one or two additional languages and study the customs and mores of other countries you plan to visit. When you travel, speak in the native tongue as much as possible. The added dimension will benefit you and those you meet,
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U LITY N U M B E R N I N E
POSITIVE SELF-AWARENESS
Synonyms: Self-honesty, empathy, openess Antonyms: Dishonesty, insensitivity, "tunnel vision" Proverb: "Oh Great Spirit, grant me the wisdom to walk in another Indian's moccasins for a mile before I criticize him or her." Summary: Winners know who they are, what they believe, the role in life they fill, their great personal potential -and future roles and goals marlung fulfillment of that potential. They are constantly adding to their knowledge through experience, insight, feedback and judgment. They not only continuously "play from strength" in the game of life, but also correct weaknesses and avoid errors. Their judgments are marked by an extreme honesty. They don't kid others o r themselves. Make this your moment of truth. You've been selling yourself short all your life. You have the opportunity to experience more environmental, physical and mental abundance than you could use in ten lifetimes. Open your eyes t o the available possibilities and alternatives. Change your attitude and your lifestyle, and your many environments will automatically change. Understand your uniqueness. Appreciate others' differences. Relax and learn to respond positively to stress. Change for the better what can be changed. Remove negative influences that can't be changed. Adapt to those negative influences that cannot be changed or removed. A Wmner's self-talk: "I know who I am, where I am coming from, and where I am going." Losers say: "Who knows what I could do if I only had the chance."
Rate Yourself Before You Begin Before listening to POSITIVE SELF-AWARENESS, ask yourself the important questions in the SelfAppraisal section below. Look for better ways of doing things suggested by your Self-Appraisal. Add your own suggestions to the ten action stimulators listed in the Action Applications. After applying them for a week, appraise yourself again and note the growth.
I
ACTION APPLICATIONS
with eye holes cut out over your head. Talk about an extraordinary expesience!
1. Schedule a comprehensive annual physical with your physician or a reputable clinic. l ~ ---- -" at a -Flv~nr .-- twn " ..'vpnrc --- c r h ~ d i i vmircplf J - Mnvn -.-- d Scripps, or other similar clinics for an even more detailed physical. Get a prevention check and tune-up. Don't wait for the flat tire, engine knock, or dead battery.
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Take 15 precious minutes each day for you alone. Relax. Inhale from the pelvis and stomach up into your lungs. Exhale slowly. Meditate and let go as if you were lying in the center of a waterbed the size of a football field. Float freely, aware that your life belongs to you and all that exists in it is seen out of your eyes and experienced by your mind and body.
Be curious about your world. Read book digests so you can share all the best sellers.
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3.
Break routines. Get out of that comfortable rut. Unplug the TV for a month. Go to work a
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8. Look for and speak the truth. Don't let ads and fads make you one of the countless victims of greed. When you read, hear or see something that impresses you-check the source and the credentials. View everything with openminded skepticism. Open-minded enough to explore it without prejudice. And skeptical enough to research and test its validity.
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traits and your ten traits needing most improvement. Take the first three liabilities and plan an activity to improve them. Forget about the rest of the liabilities. Relish and dwell on your best assets. They'll take you anywhere you want to go in life! 5.
Be aware of children and the elderly. Remember that childhood is a wonderful, special classroom in which an adult is developed. Listen to their dreams. Ask for opinions and reactions of the elderly. Remember that becoming elderly is inevitable. It's a question of positive self-awareness whether you get old or become mature.
10.
Be empathetic. Learn how others feel and consider where they are coming from before criticizing or passing judgment. Even if you can't feel for everyone you meet, be certain that you feel with every living thing you encounter. It's the key to positive selfawareness.
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9.
Look at yourself objectively through your own eyes. This is easier said than done. ' l b r ~n + n n A ; n r r
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U LITY NUMBER T E N
POSITIVE SELF-PROJECTION
Synonyms: Communicative, supportive, impressive Antonyms: Aloof, unfriendly, unkempt Proverb: "How you walk, talk, listen and look is YOU!" Summary: Winners practice positive selfprojection. They project their best selves every day in the way they look, walk, talk, listen, and react. They specialize in truly effective communication, taking 100% of responsibility, not only for sending information, but also for receiving it and for listening for the real meaning from every person they contact. Winners are aware that first impressions are powerful and that interpersonal relationships can be won or lost in about the first four minutes of conversation. Winners say "1'11 make them glad they talked with me." To a winner you'll say "I like me best when I'm with YOU."Nothing marks a winner so clearly as a relaxed smile and warm face, volunteering his or her name while extending a hand to you, looking directly in your eyes and showing interest in you by asking questions about your life that are important to you. Winners know paying value to others is the greatest communication skill of all. A Wmner's self-talk: "Tell me what you want, maybe we can work on it together." Losers say: "There's no point in discussing it, we're not even on the same wave length."
I Rate Yourself Before You Begin I Before listening to POSITIVE SELF-PROJECTION, ask yourself the important questions in the SelfAppraisal section below. Look for better ways of doing things suggested by your Self-Appraisal. Add your own suggestions to the ten action stimulators listed in the Action Applications. After applying them for a week, appraise yourself again and note the growth.
7
. CTION APPI.ICAT1ONS
I 6.
Project a pmitive self-image. Projed your creative imagination and always present a positive preview of your coming attractions with vivid descriptions.
7.
Project positive self-direction. Put your goals down .on paper and share them with those who can help you achieve them.
8.
Project positive self-discipline. Talk to yourself over and over again when you are relaxed, visualizing yourself in the act of enjoying and completing each of your current goals. Complete the projects you begin.
wonder and abundance in nature. Stop feeling sorry for yourself. If you are alive and enjoy some degree of health, you've got it made. Try looking at yourself through others' eyes. 2.
Project positive self-esteem. Get that deep down feeling of your own worth and pass it along to others. Talk yourself and others up.
3.
Project positive self-control. Project an image of responsibility by making your own luck through preparation and affirmative action.
4.
Project positive self-motivation. Motivate yourself and others by focusing on the rewards of success, forgetting the penalties of failure.
5.
Project positive self-expectancy. Your enthusiasm will be wonderfully contagious and infect almost everyone it touches.
9. Project positive self-dimension. Project yourself as a winner who creates other winners too.
10.
Project positive self-projection. Don't just listen t o The Psychology of W h n i n g as another tape program. Go out and do it!
