Personal Management & Communication Self Discipline
Sadaf Asir Hasan
SELF DISCIPLINE Self-discipline involves acting according to what you think instead of how you feel in the moment. Often it
involves sacrificing the pleasure and thrill of the moment for what matters most in life. Therefore it is selfdiscipline that drives you to: Work on an idea or project after the initial rush of enthusiasm has faded away Go to the gym when all you want to do is lie on the couch and watch TV Wake early to work on yourself Say no when tempted to break your diet Only check your email a few of times per day at particular times
WILL
PO WER AND SELF DISCIPLINE
Self-discipline refers to the training that one gives one's self to accomplish a certain task or to adopt a particular pattern of behavior, even though one would really rather be doing something else. For example, denying oneself of an extravagant pleasure in order to accomplish a more demanding charitable deed. Thus, self-discipline is the assertion of willpower over more base desires, and is usually understood to be a synonym of 'self control'.
power is the ability to overcome laziness and procrastination. It is the ability to control or reject unnecessary or harmful impulses. It is the ability to arrive to a decision and follow it with perseverance until its successful accomplishment. It is the inner power that overcomes the desire to indulge in unnecessary and useless habits, and the inner strength that overcomes inner emotional and mental resistance for taking action. It is one of the corner stones of success, both spiritual and material.
Will
Self-discipline is the companion of will power. It endows with the stamina to persevere in whatever one does.
It bestows the ability to withstand hardships and difficulties, whether physical, emotional or mental. It grants the ability to reject immediate satisfaction, in order to gain something better, but which requires effort and time.
is freedom. You may disagree with this statement, and if you do you are certainly not alone. For many people discipline is a dirty word that is equated with the absence of freedom. In fact the opposite is true. As Stephen R. Covey once wrote, the undisciplined are slaves to moods, appetites and passions. And in the longer term, the undisciplined lack the freedom that comes with possessing particular skills and abilities e.g. to play a musical instrument or speak a foreign language.
Discipline
"S elf-discipline is a form of freedom. aziness and lethargy, freedom from the expect ations a nd of freedom. F reedom reedom from l az dem ands of others, freedom from w e akness and fe nd fe ara nd doubt. Self-discipline allow s a pitcher to feel his individuality, his inner strength, inner strength, his t alent. He is master of, ster of, r ather th ther tha n a sl ave to, his thoughts and emotions."
H.A. Dorfman T he he Ment al ABC s of Pitching
TRAI TS
OF SELF DISCIPLINE
If you struggle with self-discipline, the good news is that it can be developed. The following are the five traits of self-discipline:
1
Personal Management & Communication Self Discipline
1.
Sadaf Asir Hasan
Self-Knowledge
Discipline means behaving according to what you have decided is best, regardless of how you feel in the moment. Therefore the first trait of discipline is self-knowledge. You need to decide what behavior best reflects your goals and values. This process requires introspection and self-analysis, and is most effective when tied to written expression. I highly recommend taking the time to write out your goals, dreams and ambitions. Even better, write out a personal mission statement.
2 . Conscious Awareness
Self-discipline depends upon conscious awareness as to both what you are doing and what you are not doing. Think about it. If you arent aware your behavior is undisciplined, how will you know to act otherwise? As you begin to build self-discipline, you may catch yourself being in the act of being undisciplined e.g. biting your nails, avoiding the gym, eating a piece of cake or checking your email constantly. Developing selfdiscipline takes time, and the key here is you are aware of your undisciplined behavior. With time this awareness will come earlier, meaning rather than catching yourself in the act of being undisciplined you will have awareness before you act in this way. This gives you the o pportunity to make a decision that is in better alignment with your goals and values.
3 . Commitment to Self-Discipline
It is not enough to simply write out your goals and values. You must make an internal commitment to them. Otherwise when your alarm clock goes off at 5am you will see no harm in hitting the snooze button for j ust another 5 minutes. Or, when initial rush of enthusiasm has faded away from a project you will struggle to see it through to completion. If you struggle with commitment, start by making a conscious decision to follow through on what you say youre going to do both when you said you would do it and how you said you would do it. Then, I highly recommend putting in place a system to track these commitments. As the saying goes, What gets measured gets improved.
4 . Courage
Did you notice the sweat dripping from the man in the picture at the start of this article? Make no mistake, self-discipline is often extremely difficult. Moods, appetites and passions can be powerful forces to go against. Therefore self-discipline is highly dependent on courage. Dont pretend something is easy for you to do when it is in fact very difficult and/ or painful. Instead, find the courage to face this pain and difficulty. As you begin to accumulate small private victories, your self-confidence will grow and the courage that underpins selfdiscipline will come more naturally.
5 . Internal Coaching
Self-talk is often harmful, but it can also be extremely beneficial if you have control of it. When you find yourself being tested, I suggest you talk to yourself, encourage yourself and reassure yourself. After all, it is self-talk that has the ability to remind you of your goals, call up courage, reinforce your commitment and keep you conscious of the task at hand. When I find my discipline being tested, I always recall the following quote: The price of discipline is always less than the pain of regret. Burn this quote into your memory, and recall in whenever you find yourself being tested. It may change your life.
DISCIPLINE DEFICIENCY AND
THE
EXCUSE VIRUS
The abilities of an individual to self-manage his or her actions are proportional to the level of success and happiness they will experience in their lifetime. Self-discipline is not about punishment or even about a restrictive lifestyle. It is the ability of th e individual to adhere to actions, thoug hts, and behavior s that result in personal improvement instead of instant gratification. A lack of self-discipline is the main reason for the
2
Personal Management & Communication Self Discipline
Sadaf Asir Hasan
failures we experience in both our personal and professional lives. It is also the underlying reason we experience disease, obesity, financial ruin, and relationship problems on a national level.
Self-discipline is much like the operating systems we use for our computers. Systems like Windows are what we use to direct and control every aspect of a computers functions. A computer without an operating system is much like a person who lacks discipline. They both have a tremendous amount of potential and power, but have no way of functioning properly. Unlike a computer, we are blessed with the gift of free will, but without self-discipline we are susceptible to the viruses of instant gratification, excuses, and bad habits. The most common and destructive virus found in our personal operating system is the justification virus. As human beings, we have the tendency to justify our poor decisions by using excuses. We use the power of excuses to justify our poor performance, our attitudes, our problems, and ultimately our lack of overall happiness. Once we begin to consciously recognize the excuses we use to justify the circumstances in our lives, we can focus our efforts towards fixing the real problem. Before we can develop the power of self-discipline, we must first take an honest and direct look at the excuses we use to justify our problems and poor daily performance. In order to begin combating the virus of excuses, we must take a look at some of the more common problems that exist in our lives and the excuses that we use to justify them. One of the most effective methods that yo u can use to identify the problems that exist in your life is to make a detailed list of your problems and excuses. By writing down this information you are able to take an objective look at what viruses are affecting your personal operating system. Here is an example of some common problems that we experience and the resulting excuses we use to justify them. I encourage you to sit down and objectively think about the problems that exist in your life, and the excuses you use to justify them.
PROBLEM
EXCUSE
1. Overweight-
I dont have time to eat right!
2. Procrastination
I can only do so much in a day!
3. Always in debt-
They dont pay me enoug h!
4. Stressed out
I never have time to relax!
5. Marital conflict
He/she is just too demanding!
6. Work performance-
If they paid me more Id do more!
7. Smoking-
I need it for stress relief!
8. Drinking-
One drink never hurt anybody!
9. Diet
Who has time to prepare a meal!
10. No daily exercise-
I just cant find the time!
11. Anger
They had it coming to them!
12. Depression-
Nothing ever goes right for me!
13. Poor appearance-
Its the newest fashion!
14. Divorce-
We just couldnt work it out!
15. Lack of Self-discipline
I have enough things to worry about!
This list of problems and excuses is simply an example of our inherent tendency to justify our words, actions, and behaviors. The problems we face and the methods we use to deal with them vary from individual to individual, but the underlying solution will always remain consistent. Before you can inject discipline into your personal operating system, you must take the action of personal responsibility. Get in the habit of identifying the real reason behind the circumstances in your life and defeat the excuse virus.
3
Personal Management & Communication Self Discipline
DEVELOPING
WILL
Sadaf Asir Hasan
POWER AND SELF DISCIPLINE
An effective method for developing and improving these abilities is to perform certain actions or activities, which you would rather avoid doing due to laziness, procrastination, weakness, shyness, etc. By doing something that you do not like doing or are too lazy to do, you overcome your subconscious resistance, train your mind to obey you, strengthen your inner powers and gain inner strength. Muscles get stronger by resisting the power of the barbells. Inner strength is attained by overcoming inner resistance. Remember, strengthening one of these abilities, automatically strengthens the other one. Here are a few exercises: 1) You are sitting in a bus or train and an old man or woman, or a pregnant lady walks in. Stand up and give up your seat even if you prefer to stay seated. Do this not just because it is polite, but because you are doing something that you are reluctant to do. In this way you are overcoming the resistance of your body, mind and feelings. 2) There are dishes in the sink that need washing, and you postpone washing them for later. Get up and wash them now. Do not let your laziness overcome you. When you know that in this way you are developing your will power, and if you are convinced of the importance of will power in your life, it will be easier for you to do whatever you have to do. 3) You come home tired from work and sit in front of the T.V. because you feel too lazy and tired to go and wash. Do not obey the desire to just sit, but go and have a shower 4) You may know your body needs some physical exercise, but instead you keep on sitting doing nothing or watching a movie. Get up and walk, run or do some other physical exercise. 5) Do you like your coffee with sugar? Then for a whole week decide to drink it without sugar. You like to drink three cups of coffee each day? For a week drink only two. 6) Sometimes, when you want to say something that is not important, decide not to say it. 7) Don't read some unimportant gossip in the newspaper, even if you want to. 8) You have a desire to eat something not too healthy. For the sake of the exercise refuse the desire. 9) If you find yourself thinking unimportant, unnecessary, negative thoughts, try to develop lack of interest in them, by thinking about their futility. 10) Overcome your laziness. Convince yourself of the importance of what is to be done. Convince your mind that you gain inner strength when you act and do things, in spite of laziness, reluctance or senseless inner resistance. Never say that you cannot follow the above exercises, because you certainly can. Be persistent no matter what. Motivate yourself by t hinking about of the importance of performing the exercises, and the inner power and strength you will gain. Trying to attempt too many exercises when you are still a beginner, might end in disappointment. It is better to start training yourself through easier exercises at first, and gradually increase the number and difficulty of the exercises. Practice will improve and increase your power, giving you a lot of satisfaction.
Adv ant a ges
of Possessing Strong W ill Pow er and Self Discipline
You need both of them in order to rule your thoughts and to be the boss of your mind. The stronger they are, the more control you have over your thoughts, and consequently your powers of concentration get stronger. When you are the master of your mind you enjoy inner peace and happiness. Outer events do not sway you, and circumstances have no power over your peace of mind. This might sound too unreal for you, but experience will prove to you that all the above is true. These abilities are essential for self growth, spiritual growth and meditation. They give you control over your daily life, help you improve your habits and behavior, and they are the keys to every success.
4
Personal Management & Communication Self Discipline
10 TIPS TO
Sadaf Asir Hasan
IMPROVE SELF DISCIPLINE
Below are ten simple tips that can help anyone that is looking to improve their self discipline.
1
- Start Small . If you have a little trouble with self discipline and want to work on it, the best thing you can do
is to start small, which generally means picking something you think you can succeed at. For example, say you find yourself every New Year's Eve promising yourself to go to the gym every week. Then, March comes along and you find you've not gone for two months. Instead of yelling at yourself for being stupid and lazy why not try modifying your pledge to something you feel you could do. For example, you might promise yourself instead that you'll park farther from the store when you go, to make yourself walk a little more. This is something manageable. Let the gym go hang, at least for now.
2 - One Thing at a Time . Another thing you can do is to try picking just one thing. Quite often we find ourselves
overwhelmed with life and all the things we think we are supposed to be doing, and in response promise ourselves that we'll straighten everything out right away and then find ourselves failing again at all of them. One way out of this is to pick just one thing to work on. Say it's paying bills on time. Forget killing yourself trying to get to places on time or whatever else it is that you worry about. Set up a date and time to pay those bills and don't let any of the other stuff get in the way. Getting those bills paid on time a few months in a row can make you feel more sure of yourself and able to tackle other things.
3 - Don't Let Other's Sway You. One thing to be wary of when attempting to rein in your history of impulsive
or less than well thought out behavior patterns is to look at who you keep company with. Quite often people allow others to sabotage their efforts. This is quite obviously not conducive to modifying our self disciplinary issues. To get better at self discipline, you need to either find a way to not listen to these people, or to get them out of your life. 4 -
Watch
Out for
Weak
Moments. One of the trickiest parts of self discipline is handling weak moments.
These are the killers. We feel fat, or insipid. We feel lost or empty. We find we miss the thing we've chosen to give up, or hate the thing we've started to do. We hate everything. This is when we give up. It's easy to be strong and carry on when we're at the top of our game. It's these low points where we have to find a way though. The best thing you can do when you feel yourself hitting a weak spot is to talk to someone who is not only on your side but can help to remind you of the good that will come out of your sticking to whatever it was you decided on. It's sort of like a sponsor for AA. Call them when you feel weak or are beginning to wonder if what you've chosen to do is so important after all. Call them when you see yourself making reasons for doing something else. Just call them. If you don't have someone you can call or talk to, get yourself up and out of the situation. If you've promised yourself you'd quit biting your nails, then get yourself up and outside. Water the lawn or dig a hole. Do some knitting. Just do something, especially if it means using your hands, because it's really hard to nibble your nails when your fingers are busy. 5 - Fitting It into Your Lifestyle. To improve your self discipline, you need to make whatever it is you've
decided to do fit into your lifestyle. It's generally not enough to just stomp your foot and say this is how things are going to be from now on. To make things work, you have to change the circumstances of the situation. For example, if you've decided that from now on, when you tell your children no, you will not take it back later and let them do whatever that thing was. In addition to making that promise to yourself, you have to make some changes to the situation itself. In this example, it might be something as simple as asking the child for a written request. Doing so causes the child to have to think about their request and it allows you to see more clearly what is being asked and whether it is something that should be allowed or not. 6
- Don't T alk About It. Quite often when we make up our minds to do something, one of the first things we do
is go around telling everyone we know what we are going to do. Or not do, if that's the case. Try not to do this. It severs no useful purpose and in fact can undermine your resolve. We might think that by telling everyone we are actually asking for help, or at least support, when in fact what we are really doing is looking for approval
5
Personal Management & Communication Self Discipline
Sadaf Asir Hasan
that may or may not come. If it doesn't we tend to start wondering if our decision was right in the first place, which can make your self discipline begin to crumble. 7
- Milestones . One of the things you can do along the way is to mark milestones. It might be days or weeks, or
months or even years. Or it might be something less easy to write down, such as noting how you feel a change in the way you view certain things. A diary is a good way to keep track of things like this, especially if the thing you're trying to make yourself do or stop doing is rather subtle, like being less critical of your spouse. You might only notice the difference by reading your own words for past days. Keeping a diary also helps you to keep
in
mind
the
thing
you're
working
on,
which
is
critical
to
success.
- Charting Success . In addition to marking milestones, you might also consider giving yourself a means of measuring your success or failures. Again, many things in life don't necessarily have a grading scale so it's important to watch your milestones and then to gauge whether you've been succeeding at yo ur goals. If you're not doing as well as you'd like, consider things you might do to make it better. If things are going well, keep on as you've been, you're doing great. 8
- Don't Let Slips Stop You . One of the biggest threats to self discipline is slipping and then falling headlong into defeat. This is common with dieting. We are doing great, then one day, in a weak moment we eat a whole bag of miniature brownies. And then, rather than scold ourselves gently and get back on the horse, we tell ourselves we're hopeless and figure we've lost the battle. But we haven't. We only lose the battle when we refuse to fight. It doesn't matter how many times you fail, if you keep fighting, you'll always be in the game. 9
10
- Rewarding Yourself . As with most things in life, if you reward yourself well, you'll find your sub -conscienc e
begin to act as an ally rather than as a force trying to subvert your efforts. Pick something you really like and if possible something you'll be able to enjoy for more than a moment. Things like a hot bubble bath or a chocolate desert are nice, but they are gone the moment we finish. Other things, like a nice purse or golf club serve as reminders every time we see them.
6
