Self-empowerment is not simply the result of mental training, but a process of transforming ones attitude. An ancient two thousand year old technique has been stripped off of any religious belief a...
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Approach AnxietyFull description
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Gene therapy is a new tool used in combating different diseases. The majority of gene therapy clinical trials are focused on cancer and so it was no coincidence that the first commercial treatment in 2003 was for neoplasia. Currently there are a wide
Physical Therapy for Cardiopumonary DisordersFull description
This text describes a very general sel$ develop#ent techni+ue( The approach %ill not be appropriate $or everyone" and it is not intended as a #eans o$ diagnosis or replace#ent $or pro$essional advice( ,se only at your o%n discretion" d iscretion" liability" liability" and risk( Any testi#onials appearing on book cover or %ebsite are N-T typical results(
Ta#le of ontents
.ntroduction Disclai#er /hat is anxiety0 Anxiety Attacks Depersonalization Agoraphobia Social Anxiety Depression Sel$ Therapy $or Anxiety Practice Session 1 Practice Session * 2eal3Ti#e Sel$ Therapy Anxiety 2eversal Anxiety and ealth )onclusion
Welco$e
4e$ore %e begin" . %ould like to $irst thank you $or the opportunity to be part o$ your personal develop#ent process( 4y taking the initiative to read a book like this one" you have already de#onstrated your belie$ that there #ust be so#ething better than your current e#otional state 5 and there is! The techni+ue that .6# going to share %ith you has not only been an incredible tool $or overco#ing #y o%n anxiety" but also #y greatest asset $or #oving onto a #ore $ul$illing li$e in al#ost every aspect( .t6s #y sincere belie$ that it can be the sa#e $or you( . created this course based on #y o%n experience %ith anxiety" and . 7
understand ho% serious the condition can $eel( /hen #ost people encounter anxiety" they6re not a%are o$ %hat it is" or that it is such a co##on a$$liction( Moreover" they have no idea %hat to do about it( This is part o$ %hat #akes the experience so trau#atic 5 that $eeling o$ being trapped in a situation that is out o$ your control( .$ you6re thinking that you #ight be a %eak person because you6re having proble#s that other people don6t see# to have" be assured that a$ter you learn and start using the tools that %e6ll discuss" you6ll probably $eel an inner strength that you6ve never kno%n be$ore( /hether you have si#ple stress and #alaise" or i$ you6re housebound %ith $ear" the concepts %e6ll cover #ay de$ine a %hole ne% %ay o$ living $or you( The 8
only reason you have anxiety and others don6t is probably because they6re using so#e o$ the sa#e concepts that %e6ll discuss %ithout even kno%ing it( For brevity6s sake" .6ll be re$erring to the Sel$ Therapy $or Anxiety techni+ues si#ply as 9Sel$ Therapy9( There6s no intention in the na#e to i#ply that this approach should replace traditional counseling" or that it is the best %ay to treat all $or#s o$ anxiety( .t is si#ply a #ethod that has %orked a#azingly %ell $or #e and #any" #any other people( o%ever" this brings us to an i#portant issue to be a%are o$:
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Disclai$er
. a# not a doctor( . a# si#ply so#eone %ho has su$$ered $ro# severe anxiety" discovered a po%er$ul solution that co#pletely reversed the condition in #y li$e" and a# sharing that kno%ledge %ith the hope that it %ill help so#e other anxiety su$$erers( o%ever" because . a# not a licensed #edical pro$essional" this in$or#ation should be considered only as a general approach to sel$3 develop#ent" and not as medical advice or a means of diagnosis( .$ you6re not $inding the in$or#ation help$ul" or i$ you $eel too over%hel#ed to try it" please consult %ith a #ental health expert to explore other options(
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What is Anxiety%
.n the #ost basic sense" anxiety usually occurs as a result o$ ongoing stress" %orry" or =ust general negative expectations( All o$ these are kind o$ the sa#e thing 5 $ear o$ so#e real or i#agined negative possibility" or possibilities( The $ears could be o$ al#ost anything: e#barrass#ent" illness" =udg#ent" driving" $lying" $ailure" poor per$or#ance" and so #any others( Since negative outco#es are possible $or =ust about any situation in li$e" it6s likely that you can identi$y a variety o$ things that cause you to %orry( Anxious people" #ost o$ %ho# have a tendency to d%ell on and i#agine the 9bad9 things that could happen" create a >
general environ#ent o$ $ear in their #inds( ?ventually the subconscious #ind begins interpreting these #ental i#ages as real danger( @ou6re i#agining all these unco#$ortable or even catastrophic scenarios" and sooner or later your #ind reacts to the#" as i$ they6re reality" and says 9ey" %hatever it is that you6re doing" or going to do" it6s not a good idea9( The %ay it tells you this is by giving you a sensation o$ $ear" releasing hor#ones like adrenaline into your body to put you into 9sel$ preservation9 #ode %ith classic $ight3or3 $light sensations( No% you #ay not realize this relationship at the ti#e" because you don6t have the usual visual signs o$ danger associated %ith adrenaline( 4ut i$ you co#pare the sensation o$ $ear and
adrenaline to that o$ anxiety" you6ll recognize the si#ilarity( The big di$$erence is that because the sense o$ danger is not being created by te#porary physical threat" but rather by your #ind6s ongoing negative thoughts" this $ear response can endure $or long periods( Sy#pto#s o$ anxiety #ay start %ith elevated heart rate and a general sense o$ uneasiness or nervousness" but over ti#e can branch out into a %ide variety o$ see#ingly unrelated issues: headaches" racing heart" inso#nia" s%eaty pal#s" #uscle $atigue" indigestion" diarrhea" dizziness" lightheadedness" chest pain" and #any others( Since anxiety su$$erers have a tendency to o$ten i#agine the %orst case scenario" 1B
and can beco#e hypochondriacal %ith =ust about any unusual body sensations" they are also +uite likely to %orry about these anxiety sy#pto#s the#selves( .t6s easy to start believing that such sy#pto#s #ay be indicators o$ serious #edical conditions( The rapid heartbeat #ay be interpreted as an indicator o$ heart attack" lightheadedness as a sign o$ stroke or brain tu#or" and so on( @ou should de$initely see a doctor to rule out physical causes" but kno% that all o$ these sy#pto#s are also very co##only the result o$ ongoing anxiety( There are so#e other eventual #ani$estations o$ anxiety that .6d like to #ention because o$ the severe i#pact they can have on the person experiencing the#( These are anxiety 11
attacks" unreality" agoraphobia" depression" and social anxiety( Anxiety Attacks & 'anic Attacks
Anxiety attacks are o$ten experienced as a $eeling o$ dread" an intense $ear that so#ething terrible is about to happen" like you #ight die or lose your sanity( These experiences can be extre#ely $rightening" especially since they can occur at anyti#e and any%here( They #ight arise %hile driving in your car" standing in a line at the store" lying in bed" or even %hile =ust %atching television( /hat happens during a panic episode is that %orries and $ears lingering in your #ind are interpreted as real danger by 1*
the subconscious" %hich in return releases adrenaline into your body to help you deal %ith the threat( 4ut since anxiety can cause adrenaline to co#e to the sur$ace at anyti#e" and %ithout any visual danger present" these $eelings #ay not #ake any logical sense to you( And not seeing actual danger %ith your o%n eyes" you don6t recognize the adrenaline burst $or %hat it is( This pheno#enon can #ake the adrenaline sensation itsel$ a see#ingly unusual and $rightening experience( As a result" you then beco#e %orried about" and $ear$ul o$" that 9out o$ place9 adrenaline $eeling( That additional $ear causes the adrenaline to increase $urther" %hich in turn =ust escalates your $ear #ore( As these t%o $eed each other" a $ull panic attack occurs(
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During a panic attack" you #ay $eel as i$ you6re losing your #ind" or like your heart is about to explode( An anxiety attack is not going to hurt you or cause you to go crazy" but it can $eel like dying a thousand deaths %hen you6re having these episodes regularly( And once you6ve experienced the terror o$ a $irst panic attack" it6s +uite likely that you6ll have #ore as you beco#e #ore sensitive to the sy#pto#s that precede the#( A slight #alaise or stress stress #ay get you $ear$ul that another attack co#ing on( And ironically" it6s that very $ear that gets the adrenaline $lo%ing and starts the cycle over again( As %ith other anxiety sy#pto#s" an excellent $irst step to recovery $ro# 17
panic is to kno% that %hat you6re you6re experiencing is a nor#al reaction to persistent %orry and $ear( Think o$ a ti#e %hen you %ere really $rightened" #aybe %hile you %ere %atching a scary #ovie" or a$ter nearly getting in an accident( No% try to re#e#ber %hat types o$ sensations you had at that ti#e( Maybe a rapid heartbeat and adrenaline0 Did you get $ear$ul o$ those $eelings0 No" because you kne% kne% they %ere nor#al at that ti#e( .n $act" i$ you6re having trouble re#e#bering %hat you $elt" it6s probably because you didn6t even think about it then" since the sensations %ere nothing out o$ the ordinary $or the situation(
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(nreality & Depersonali)ation
Another co##on" but o$ten +uite disturbing" result o$ anxiety is the sensation o$ unreality" also kno%n as depersonalization or derealization( .$ you so#eti#es $eel a little bit spacey" disconnected" or as i$ your body and your environ#ent are so#eho% unreal" kno% that this is an extre#ely nor#al sensation resulting $ro# the introversion that anxiety cultivates( Anxious people tend to beco#e so preoccupied %ith %orriso#e thoughts" body sensations" and adverse e#otions" that a good portion o$ their a%areness a%areness beco#es perpetually directed in%ard( @ou si#ply beco#e so $ocused on your inner %orld that the outer begins to take on an air o$ unrealness( -nce again" the typical anxious response to this sensation is 1;
o$ten to beco#e $ear$ul that you6re going crazy" losing your #ind" or losing control o$ yoursel$( .$ this sounds $a#iliar to you" =ust kno% $or no% that there is a vast di$$erence bet%een the si#ple sensation o$ unreality caused by anxiety" and true insanity( A*orapho#ia
/ith ti#e" #any anxious people create $or the#selves a condition kno%n as agoraphobia( -$ten de$ined as 9$ear o$ open spaces9" agoraphobia" in a #ore practical sense" is really a $ear o$ your anxiety sy#pto#s the#selves 5 or a kind o$ 9$ear o$ $ear9( This results in the avoidance o$ doing #any activities 1<
because o$ the unco#$ortable $eelings you associate %ith the#( Do you avoid interacting %ith people or attending events because o$ your nervousness0 Do you dread %ork or school because o$ the sy#pto#s you experience there0 These are" in a broad sense" types o$ agoraphobia( No% you don6t have to label yoursel$ an agoraphobic( This is the #ost co##on type o$ phobia there is" and anyone %ho tries to avoid e#otional disco#$ort" %hich is =ust about everyone" could be said to have a touch o$ agoraphobia( 4ut i$ you6ve sought out a book like this one" you6ve probably reached a point %here your body sensations are so unco#$ortable or $rightening that your %hole day is $illed %ith activities that you either avoid" or %ould like to avoid 1>
and $eel a%k%ard per$or#ing( Since there are so #any tasks and interactions that cause disco#$ort" anxious people have a tendency to eventually start avoiding #ore and #ore o$ those everyday activities" and so#e #ay have a hard ti#e even leaving their ho#es( Their true underlying $ear is not o$ the outside %orld" but o$ the $eelings and body sensations that they #ay experience %hile a%ay $ro# their sa$ety zone( Social Anxiety
There are #any reasons people beco#e socially uneasy( o%ever" nearly all those reasons are re$lections o$ the desire to avoid so#e sort o$ e#otional energy that arises in social situations 5 1
perhaps nervousness" a%k%ardness" insecurity" $ear o$ re=ection" or so#e other unco#$ortable $eeling( /hatever those $eelings are $or you" ask yoursel$ this +uestion: /ould you have a social anxiety proble# i$ you did not have those $eelings0 Do you think a shy person %ould re#ain shy $or long in the absence o$ negative sensations %hen approaching and interacting %ith other people0 .$ you apply the concepts you6ll learn in this book to the inner energies that you6re no% avoiding" your shyness %ill soon disappear( Depression as an Anxiety Sy$pto$
The blanket o$ $ear that anxiety creates can prevent en=oy#ent o$ the present #o#ent" create a cycle o$ %orry and *B
inaction" and eventually #ay lead to a #ild depression( This type o$ depression can certainly #ake li$e see# e#pty and undesirable( . re#e#ber #any ti#es %hen . i#agined the possibility o$ suicide as a %ay out o$ #y unhappiness( 4ut there is a usually big di$$erence bet%een the #ild depression caused by si#ple anxiety" and the #a=or depression that can lead to suicide( An anxious person #ight i#agine suicide" but %ill probably be =ust as a$raid o$ dying as they are o$ their e#otional state" and not have the intention o$ really carrying it out( o%ever" i$ you are not $eeling a$raid o$ suicide" i$ you6re experiencing real hopelessness" i$ you6re considering #ethods o$ suicide" or i$ you6re $eeling co#$orted by the thought" then you *1
should seek help $ro# a #ental health pro$essional( Speak to your doctor" check your phone book $or suicide hotlines" or call 11 $or a re$erral( For the #a=ority" you kno% that you don6t like living %ith anxiety and depression( 4ut i$ you6ve started %orking through a progra# like this" you #ost likely $eel that there is so#e hope $or your condition( Anxiety can be a strong #otivating $orce to start taking action to $ind an alternative" and so#eti#es things can get pretty dark be$ore %e break out( 4ut kno% that you are not alone in the experience( /hen you begin to #ake progress in overco#ing your anxiety" the #ild depression you6re having should disappear as %ell(
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+So$e, Anxiety is -our .rien/
That6s right" so#e anxiety and stress in li$e is good( To be a little %orried about a test %ill #otivate you to study( A little nervous energy during a presentation can be trans$or#ed into a #ore engaging enthusias#( ?ven a $ear$ul state o$ #ind is use$ul in truly dangerous situations" %here %e need to take steps to protect ourselves( 4ut in day to day situations" excessive anxiety is counterproductive the slight but persistent $eeling o$ paranoia can #ake you $eel constantly nervous and a%k%ard" and prevent you $ro# doing things you need to do( ?xcess stress" aside $ro# leading to debilitating conditions like anxiety" can also be outright dangerous as it *C
suppresses the i##une syste#" increases blood pressure" and is associated %ith a %ide variety o$ diseases( -$ course" it doesn6t #ake sense to start beco#ing hypochondriacal about that" but your physical health is =ust one #ore reason to start no% %ith taking #easures to reduce your stress and anxiety( 4e$ore %e #ove on" re#e#ber that all o$ the sy#pto#s that %e6ve talked about so $ar can be $ully attributed to anxiety( o%ever" don6t use that in$or#ation as a #ethod o$ diagnosis( Get a physical exa#ination $ro# a #edical doctor to con$ir# that your sy#pto#s are not indicative o$ a #ore serious condition( Eno%ing that %hat you6re $eeling is a co#pletely nor#al result o$ anxiety can *7
be a great relie$" and a good $irst step to cal#ing yoursel$( .t6s $or this precise reason that #any anxiety books and progra#s spend an enor#ous a#ount o$ ti#e talking about sy#pto#s( A lot o$ co#$ort can be gained by kno%ing that %hat you6re experiencing is not unusual( So i$ you think that you6d bene$it $ro# additional con$ir#ation about your particular sy#pto#s" you #ight %ant to do additional research or consult %ith your doctor about the#( @ou #ay have so#e o$ the sy#pto#s %e discussed" all o$ the#" or perhaps others that %eren6t #entioned( There are #any" #any #ore" and .6ve =ust tried to cover so#e o$ the #ore co##on ones here(
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/e could literally devote an entire book &#uch longer than this one' to discussing all the %ays in %hich anxiety displays itsel$ in various sensations and behaviors( 4ut . kno% $ro# personal experience that it6s usually not really necessary to $igure out all the #ind3body connections be$ore %orking on anxiety( And o$ten those connections beco#e easier to see once you begin to #ove beyond anxiety and can look back at the experience #ore ob=ectively( So even i$ you do take additional steps no% to satis$y your concerns" also start #oving $or%ard %ith the techni+ues that %e6ll discuss( The stress that you #ay be adding to the situation you6re %orrying about is probably not doing anything to help resolve it( And you #ay $ind that as you start learning ho% to reverse *;
anxiety" the sy#pto# that6s bothering you #ight =ust disappear be$ore you kno% it( The truth is that %hile it6s help$ul to con$ir# that your sy#pto#s are being caused by anxiety" %ithout #anaging the anxiety itsel$ you6ll eventually probably =ust $ind other sensations to beco#e concerned about( Along the sa#e lines" i$ %e atte#pt to avoid or eli#inate all the situations that inspire anxiety in us" sooner or later #ore %ill co#e along to take their place" and %e6ll eventually $ind our lives con$ined to a very li#ited nu#ber o$ sa$e places and sa$e people(
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The Self Therapy Solution
,nderstanding that anxiety is pri#arily a $ear3based e#otion" the $irst ai# o$ Sel$ Therapy is to boost your tolerance levels $or the $eelings you6re no% avoiding" including anxiety( The reason $or this is that anxiety gro%s $ro# the desire to avoid the $eelings associated %ith certain activities( Fro# this perspective" anxiety is really fear o$ particular 9un%anted9 $eelings" including anxiety sensations the#selves( There$ore" %hen you learn to boost your tolerance level $or experiencing the $eelings and sensations that you6re avoiding" those very $eelings &anxiety' actually dissolve( .n other %ords" a #a=or key to con+uering anxiety is to e#brace it(
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The bene$its o$ our Sel$ Therapy process %ill go %ell beyond =ust anxiety reduction( A rich and $ull li$e is achieved by living on the $ull spectru# o$ hu#an e#otion" and in learning Sel$ Therapy you6ll greatly expand your ability to do that( To $eel the desirable e#otions" like =oy" %e #ust be able to $eel and go through the lo%er ones( An un$ortunate +uality o$ #any anxiety and depression treating drugs is that %hile they #ay nu#b e#otional lo%s" they o$ten dull the highs as %ell( Achieving inner har#ony involves increasing tolerance $or all e#otions to a point %here none can stop you $ro# #oving $or%ard( This is the ulti#ate ob=ective o$ our Sel$ Therapy(
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What is Self Therapy%
Sel$ Therapy is an a#azingly si#ple approach to overco#ing anxiety( o%ever" so#e o$ the concepts #ay see# a little $oreign at $irst because they6re ne%( .n a nutshell" %hat you6ll be learning is a ne% #ethod o$ co##unicating %ith yoursel$ that reverses anxiety tendencies( 4ut the #ethod o$ 9co##unicating9 in Sel$ Therapy" and %hat you think o$ as your 9sel$9" are probably going to be #uch di$$erent than %hat you #ight expect( /hat you6re about to learn %ill expand your tolerance level $or negative e#otions" increase your ability to experience higher ones" and can virtually eli#inate e#otional dependence on" and susceptibility to" external events( CB
As %ith interpersonal co##unication" Sel$ Therapy can be thought o$ as involving both speaking and 9listening9" and this progra# is loosely divided into t%o sections based on those co#ponents( /e6ll start by learning the listening aspect" %hich %ill enable you to +uickly take control o$ your e#otions and prevent anxiety $ro# over%hel#ing you( For #ost readers" this section o$ Sel$ Therapy %ill provide the key to $reedo# $ro# anxiety( @ou %ill also $ind it to be an excellent tool $or si#ply gaining a greater sense o$ connection %ith" and understanding o$" yoursel$( .n the second section" 9speaking9" you6ll learn a po%er$ul #ethod o$ re3 progra##ing your #ind" and then %ork on reversing so#e co##on thought patterns and behaviors that lead to C1
anxiety( Since you used your #ind to create the condition o$ anxiety" it only #akes sense that you6ll use your #ind to reverse it as %ell( So" in short" %e start by #anaging current anxiety levels" and then learn ho% to prevent anxiety $ro# taking root in the $irst place( As %e get started" kno% that %e are not out to suppress anxiety" or any other 9negative9 e#otion $or that #atter( As previously #entioned" in order to experience the higher e#otions in li$e" like =oy" %e #ust be able to experience the lo%er ones( . call this psychological pheno#enon the 9e#otional energy pendulu#9( To s%ing high" you #ust be able to s%ing lo%( o% good can you C*
ever $eel i$ your positive e#otions are acco#panied by a constant $ear o$ losing that co#$ort0 ?verybody experiences loss" disappoint#ent" $ailure" re=ection and other adverse situations( .$ you vie% such circu#stances %ith e#otional avoidance" or constantly $ear their possibility" anxiety %ill gro%( 4ut you can choose instead to experience such $eelings %ith acceptance" even %ith an appreciation $or the hu#anness they grant you" and to see the# as stepping stones back to the other end o$ the e#otional spectru#( The goal o$ Sel$ Therapy is to learn ho% to $eel all body sensations %ith co#plete tolerance $or their presence( /ithout $ear o$ such 9negative9 e#otions" %hether internal or external in origin" there %ill be no anxiety( CC
Self Therapy 0ack*roun/
To gain a little better understanding o$ Sel$ Therapy" let6s take a +uick look at ho% it %as developed( As a young #an" . su$$ered al#ost constantly $ro# anxiety" and a #yriad o$ sy#pto#s ste##ing $ro# that anxiety( My path to inner $reedo# actually began in traditional counseling" %ith a psychologist( Soon . began to notice various $actors that the productive counseling sessions had in co##on( .n particular" sessions that resulted in $eelings o$ increased inner strength al#ost al%ays involved a period during %hich the counselor guided #e into an observation o$ #y o%n e#otional energies( The observation o$ e#otional C7
energy %as #ore accurately a period during %hich . stopped trying to avoid inner sensations" and #erely experienced the#( Si#ultaneously %ith counseling . %as also exploring several spiritual pursuits" #ost notably through #editation( -ddly" . noticed that the goal o$ al#ost every $or# o$ #editation %as an e#ptying o$ the #ind" a 9releasing9 o$ e#otional energies $ro# the body" and a #ental concentration on the re#aining 9void9( .t %as al#ost as i$ the goal o$ #editation %as a separation o$ onesel$ $ro# one6s $eelings 5 the exact the opposite o$ %hat . bene$ited $ro# during counseling( This approach #ay indeed be a spiritual or relaxing experience $or so#e people( 4ut %hen you6re dealing %ith anxiety" it6s really =ust a $or# o$ suppression" C8
%ith very short lived bene$it in the real %orld( o%ever" . did $ind tre#endous value in the inner a%areness that #editation taught( /hat eventually resulted in Sel$ Therapy %as a $usion o$ these t%o practices" a $or# o$ #editation in %hich . %as able to co##unicate %ith #ysel$ in the sa#e #anner that the psychologist co##unicated %ith #e during those energy shi$ting sessions( . could no% co#bine the bene$it o$ inner e#otional a%areness %ith the $ocused concentration o$ #editation( The result %as a piercing ability to directly experience body sensations and e#otional energies in a controlled #anner that de$eated the subconscious tendency o$ e#otional avoidance" %hich %as leading to anxiety( C;
The bene$its o$ this techni+ue in #y li$e have been truly astounding" and . believe they %ill be $or you as %ell( .lip the S1itch on Anxiety
-$ten %hen a person starts to $eel an unco#$ortable $eeling like $ear or anxiety" the initial reaction is to avoid it either its internal sensation or external cause( The person #ay not even realize that they are avoiding so#ething" or kno% %hy they are avoiding it" since #any such reactions are triggered by subconscious associations( /hen acting in this #anner" it6s obvious that $ear is in control( And %hen dealing %ith anxiety" avoidance is =ust %hat you don6t %ant to C<
do( .$ you try to suppress anxiety" ignore it" run $ro# it" or distract yoursel$ %ith other activities" you6re only giving anxiety po%er( 2e#e#ber" $ear o$ anxiety creates #ore anxiety( The key is to instead con$ront it" $eel it" and accept it( No% that you kno% panic attacks are =ust a nor#al adrenaline response" there6s no reason to $ear the sensations any%ay( And also don6t try to ignore the sy#pto#s 5 even i$ your heart $eels like its pounding out o$ your chest" =ust feel it( No #atter ho% bad it is" the key is to $ace it( The #ore energy you put into e#bracing the sensation o$ this episode" the less strength it %ill have to a$$ect you the next ti#e( This #ay all sound 9easier said than done9" but in a $e% #o#ents %e6ll per$or# an exercise that %ill present a C>
#ore co#prehensive approach to e#bracing anxiety( For no%" =ust kno% conceptually that a%areness and acceptance o$ inner sensations is the essence o$ Sel$ Therapy listening( -nce you6ve gained con$idence in your ability to handle any $eeling" you %ill have eli#inated the $ear o$ $eelings that causes agoraphobia and panic disorder( Eno%ing this" you can +uickly prevent anxiety $ro# escalating into panic( ?#otions like anxiety exist essentially as energies %ithin our bodies( Most likely you6ve never given #uch thought to %hat $eelings really are( /e use language to place labels on e#otions like 9happy9" 9sad9" 9angry9" 9nervous9" 9anxious9" =ealous" and 9$ear$ul9" but these are =ust labels or sy#bols o$ the actual energies( For the duration o$ this C
reading" .6d like to think o$ e#otions as the energy" sensation" or essence underlying your $eelings( ,sing labels or %ords to sy#bolize e#otional energy is use$ul $or co##unicating %ith other people( 4ut you connect %ith yoursel$ by listening directly to the pure label3 less energies %ithin( @our relationship %ith yoursel$ is a uni+ue one" in that you are the only person %hose inner %orld you can ever really kno%( earning to observe and listen to your energies is the key to your relationship %ith yoursel$( And the identi$ication o$ pure energies %ithin you is a #a=or co#ponent o$ Sel$ Therapy" because learning ho% to concentrate a%areness on your energies has tre#endous ability to expand your e#otional tolerance $or the#( This is the 7B
listening aspect o$ the process( /hen you increase your e#otional tolerance" adverse energies lose their po%er over you" and you regain control over your inner %orld o$ %hich your outer %orld is =ust a re$lection( @ou6ll $ind that by identi$ying the energies underlying anxiety in your body" and observing the# as entities" you6ll be able to overco#e the #a=ority o$ anxiety6s debilitating e$$ects( -nce you can observe anxiety ob=ectively as an 9entity9 &a thing' and accept it" you #ove $ro# being consu#ed and controlled by it" to si#ply $eeling it( /ith practice" you eventually reach a level %here such $eelings no longer do#inate your thoughts to the point o$ in$luencing decisions( @ou experience energies like anxiety %ith co#$ort" and 71
can continue acting in a con$ident and constructive #anner despite their presence( Don6t %orry i$ so#e o$ this explanation see#s con$using at this point( Sel$ Therapy is a really si#ple tool" and you don6t need to co#pletely understand the underlying theory in order to #ake use o$ it( Hust like you don6t need to kno% ho% an engine %orks in order to drive a car" you also don6t need to have a per$ect grasp on these principles to reap the bene$its o$ Sel$ Therapy( 2evie% these concepts later i$ you %ish" but $or no% let6s #ove on to so#e practical instruction(
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Self Therapy 'ractice Session
The best %ay to learn the Sel$ Therapy listening techni+ue is by experiencing it( So . %ould no% like to guide you through an exercise that de#onstrates the process( For this exercise" you should be in a co#$ortable seated position" in an area $ree $ro# distractions( @ou should not be driving or operating #achinery o$ any kind( 2ead through the description o$ each step $ully be$ore trying it yoursel$( .n #ost cases you can assu#e at least a $e% seconds pause a$ter each sentence( NO!" #or yo$r convenience% & have also incl$ded a g$ided a$dio recording on the ne't page that yo$ can listen to 7C
(instead of reading)* &f yo$ are ne+ to ,elf herapy% & +o$ld s$ggest listening to the online a$dio at least once in order to get familiar +ith the appropriate speed and pa$ses* Step I
O&ON./" /isten to the g$ided a$dio at C2ethod*org (trac of an'iety version)% then sip the ne't si' steps* )lose your eyes no% and relax( Direct your a%areness to%ard the inside o$ your body( . %ould like you to put your #ental a%areness $irst on the inside o$ your head( Hust #entally observe that space %ith your #ind6s eye $or CB seconds or so(
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Then #ove your a%areness to your neck and observe that space $or about the sa#e a#ount o$ ti#e( Then do%n into your chest and abdo#en area( Then #ove your a%areness to your le$t ar#( Then your right ar#( No% do%n to your le$t leg( Then the right leg( Finally" expand your a%areness so that it enco#passes your entire body( 2elax in this state $or a #inute %ith in%ard a%areness throughout your body( Step II
No% that you have centered concentration %ithin your body" . %ould like you to notice the sensations in that space( @ou can start in your head" or in any area o$ your body %here a physical sensation is present( ?ach person6s 78
internal sensations %ill vary" but so#e exa#ples are: I Pressure in the head I Tightness in the neck I Aching in an ar# I Any other sensations Sensations can range $ro# physical ones like aching %ithin #uscles" to e#otional ones like the butter$ly $eeling in a nervous sto#ach" or the heaviness o$ depression( .$ the sensation you $ind is o$ an e#otional nature" like nervousness" =ust observe it as the energy(
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Try to avoid placing verbal labels like 9nervousness9 or 9anger9 on energies 5 this type o$ identi$ication re+uires an intellectual evaluation that inter$eres %ith your co#plete attentive listening to the pure energy( The key right no% is to $ind and concentrate a%areness on the energies( @ou can describe energies %ith %ords like 9tingling vibration9" 9s#ooth9" 9dense9" throbbing" etc( .$ you don6t $eel anything" you6re probably trying too hard( Hust observe %hat6s there( /e all have sensation in our bodies( @ou don6t need to $orce anything to be created( .$ you6ve been experiencing anxiety recently" then you can probably $ind that sensation as an energy in your body" or 7<
#aybe throughout your body( Any e#otion that you experience has an energy" a physical sensation inside your body" that goes along %ith it( .t6s that physical sensation that %e6re interested in right no%( .$ you $ind yoursel$ beco#ing $rustrated or rushed" then that energy &the one underlying the $eeling o$ $rustration or rush' is a good one to observe( Step III
-nce you6ve $ound a sensation" greet it" al#ost as i$ it6s an 9entity9 %ithin you" by saying so#ething like 9hello energy9( Please choose an energy to concentrate on" and try this greeting no%(
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.n the past" you6ve probably been in the habit o$ either ignoring or avoiding the 9unpleasant9 e#otional and physical sensations %ithin you( ,se this ti#e no% to instead consciously be %ith those energies in an accepting #anner( Focus your concentration on the energy you6re spending ti#e %ith as i$ you are listening to it" as i$ it is speaking to you %ith the sensations that it radiates( -verco#e all avoidance" $eel genuine interest in %anting to listen to it( isten %ithout analysis" %ithout evaluation" and %ithout =udg#ent o$ the energy( .$ it helps" think o$ listening to energies si#ply as concentrating on and observing the# %ith pure" thought3$ree" avoidance3$ree a%areness( Try this no% $or a couple #inutes( 7
Hust as a good listener %ould put all their #ental attention on the person they6re listening to" you should 9listen9 to the e#otional or physical energy %ith all your accepting a%areness 5 #eaning $ree o$ analytical or =udg#ental thought( )ontinue doing this $or a $e% #ore #inutes( The ability to stay $ocused and listening is like a #uscle the #ore o$ten you practice" the stronger your ability %ill beco#e( .$ you start to lose $ocus" say so#ething to the energy like 9. a# %ith you energy9( .$ you beco#e distracted %ith other thoughts" don6t try to $orce$ully push the# out" as doing so only gives the# the additional po%er o$ your attention( .nstead" let the# be there and =ust let the# $loat a%ay( They6ll lose strength as you continue concentrating 8B
on the energy you6re %ith( Hust turn your a%areness back to the energy and say so#ething like" Feeling" . a# %ith you no%( There is nothing #ore i#portant to #e right no% than being %ith you( . %ant to kno% you( /ith this in #ind" continue listening to your energy $or a $e% #ore #inutes( Step IV
For the energy you are currently listening to" try no% to describe the physical characteristics o$ that energy( 2e$lect your observations to the energy" as i$ you are speaking to it( @ou can do this either out loud or in your #ind(
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So#e exa#ples #ight be: I ?nergy" you are s#ooth and thick( I Sensation" you are a tingling vibration in #y sto#ach( I ?nergy" you are aching and solid( I Feeling" you extend $ro# #y sto#ach into #y chest( I ?nergy" you are dense and throbbing" and shaped like a rod( I ?nergy" you are like a heavy sheet in $ront o$ #y $ace(
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I ?nergy" you are pressure in $ront o$ and through #y chest( I ?nergy" you are like a thick gray cloud in #y body( I ?nergy" you are aching $ro# the top o$ #y head to behind #y eyes( I ?nergy" you are a $loating sensation( These are =ust exa#ples( @ou %ill obviously have your o%n uni+ue energies" and there$ore uni+ue descriptions( Try to co#e up %ith as #any descriptive %ords as possible" including shape" density" size" $eel" and so on( Take a couple #inutes to try this no%( Tell the energy your observation o$ 8C
its physical characteristics( @our description does not have to be exact" as there6s no need $or per$ection here( Hust re$lect the $irst observations that co#e to #ind( Please try this no% $or a couple #inutes( @ou #ay $ind it easier in the beginning to use a $eeling %ord $or very obvious e#otional energies( For exa#ple" i$ intuition tells you that %hat you6re $eeling is anxiety or nervousness" you can identi$y it that %ay" #aybe by saying hello nervousness( o%ever" re#e#ber to listen only to the pure energy" and to then describe its physical traits( o not get caught up in trying to interpret your energies" translate the# into e#otions" or associate the# %ith external events( This energy describing process that %e6re per$or#ing is actually 87
a $or# o$ active listening( @ou are re$lecting back to your inner energies your understanding o$ the#( This process o$ re$lecting helps #aintain #ental $ocus and re+uires clear observation( 4y $ocusing only on the physical characteristics" you li#it the need $or intellectual activity that interpreting energies into $eeling %ords re+uires( This is also the best %ay to stay $ocused on and listening to the pure energies( This describing and re$lecting step is the #ost i#portant co#ponent o$ the Sel$ Therapy process" and the #a=ority o$ your session should be devoted to this activity( So i$ you %ould like to spend so#e #ore ti#e listening to the energy that you are currently %ith" please $eel $ree to do so be$ore continuing( 88
Step V
2e#e#ber that the goal o$ Sel$ Therapy is to increase tolerance $or all e#otions" not to rid yoursel$ o$ the un%anted ones( There is so#e irony in this" because as you spend ti#e listening to your energies and beco#ing co#$ortable %ith their presence" they o$ten trans$or# into $eelings that are no longer over%hel#ing( ,sually this happens %ithin a $e% hours a$ter a Sel$ Therapy session( @ou %ill notice that the energy that had perhaps been +uite unco#$ortable be$ore your session beco#es so#ething that is easily tolerable %ithin a short period a$ter%ards(
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So#eti#es energy shi$ts can even occur during the session itsel$( ?nergies #ay change shape or density" expand or contract" or #ove slightly( So#eti#es an energy you6re spending ti#e %ith #ay even disappear altogether( Hust go %ith these trans$or#ations" and continue being present %ith the ne% $or#s that e#erge( .t %ill o$ten be a nice side e$$ect" but an eli#ination o$ unpleasant $eelings should not be the ob=ective o$ your interaction %ith body energy( To have a #ental goal o$ dissolving your $eelings %ill de$eat #uch o$ Sel$ Therapy6s e$$ectiveness( @ou are learning to be %ith your energies" and in doing so eli#inating the #agni$ication o$ unco#$ortable ones that is caused by avoidance( So do not try to e#pty 8<
yoursel$ o$ unpleasant e#otions( Doing so %ill only have the reverse e$$ect( Please close your eyes again" and turn your attention back once again to the energy you %ere spending ti#e %ith( A$$ir# your acceptance o$ the energy6s presence by repeating the $ollo%ing phrases to it: I ?nergy" you6re okay to be %here you are( I ?nergy" . can handle you( I .6# okay %ith your presence in #y body( I ?nergy" . do not seek to suppress you( 8>
I . seek only to be co#$ortable %ith you( I Sensation" . a# okay %ith you( I ?nergy" . let you be as you are( Do your best to express these state#ents %ith sincerity( This beco#es easier %ith practice( Step VI
@ou #ight have noticed that the #anner in %hich %e6re co##unicating %ith body energies is si#ilar to an interaction %ith a person( That6s an excellent %ay to vie% this process( For our purposes" you can treat the energies as separate 8
entities" or $riends" %ithin you( .n a %ay" they are indeed $riends" as #ost energies arise because they are trying to provide you %ith so#ething that your subconscious #ind thinks is use$ul in$or#ation &as illogical as its interpretation #ight be'( More i#portantly" e#otional energies are %hat #ake us hu#an( Feelings" and our ability to experience all o$ the#" #ake li$e rich and $ull and %e don6t %ant to eli#inate this special di#ension o$ our lives( .nstead" our nu#ber one goal here is to learn to listen to energies ob=ectively( /ith continued practice o$ the Sel$ Therapy listening techni+ue" your tolerance level %ill increase and you %ill be able to #ove through sel$3 li#iting e#otions like $ear and anxiety because they %ill no longer overpo%er ;B
you( @ou6ll $ind that the bene$its o$ this process build upon the#selves day a$ter day" as you continue practicing( Please turn your a%areness back once #ore to the energy you %ere spending ti#e %ith( /ith a $eeling o$ genuine appreciation" regardless o$ the nature o$ the energy" repeat the $ollo%ing phrases to it: I ?nergy" thank you $or the #essage you are trying to give #e( I ?nergy" . appreciate and accept your presence %ithin #e( I ?nergy" thank you $or contributing to #y hu#anness( ;1
These state#ents or so#ething si#ilar can conclude your Sel$ Therapy session( 'ractice Session 2otes
This $irst exercise has de#onstrated the principles o$ Sel$ Therapy 9listening9( o%ever" $or the de#onstration %e have only spent li#ited ti#e %ith one energy( During a sel$ paced session" you can spend as #uch ti#e %ith an energy as you %ish" #ove bet%een all o$ the energies %ithin your body" or repeat the sa#e process $or each energy that you detect( .$ you6re still ne% to Sel$ Therapy and pre$er the guidance o$ this reading" si#ply repeat this seg#ent anyti#e( -nce you6re $a#iliar %ith the techni+ue" ;*
you can %ork independently at your o%n pace and even create your o%n variations o$ the techni+ue( For exa#ple" you #ay choose to #ove $ro# one area o$ your body to another" or to %ork $irst %ith the #ost unco#$ortable energies( .n #y o%n sessions" . tend to %ork %ith the do#inant energies $irst" and %ill =u#p back and $orth bet%een the listening and speaking steps &%hich %e6ll cover later'( This techni+ue does not have rigid rules" and you %ill undoubtedly $ind an approach that %orks best $or you( 4e a%are that you %ill o$ten encounter energies that you are not at all co#$ortable placing your a%areness on" especially given that you6re probably reading this book due to $eelings o$ anxiety and $ear that you6ve spent years trying to avoid ( o%ever" those energies ;C
in partic$lar are the #ost re%arding ones to spend ti#e %ith( Directly observing underlying energies takes sel$ discipline" and #ay initially be very unco#$ortable( 4ut your ability to i#prove your e#otional state %ill be in direct proportion to your ability to extend your experience into the real# o$ disco#$ort( .n $act" the best ti#e to engage in Sel$ Therapy listening is in the period =ust be$ore" during" or =ust a$ter a situation that has caused adverse energies to arise( This is especially true i$ you6re experiencing panic or anxiety attacks( .$ you6re $eeling panicky or anxious and can sa$ely do so" i##ediately engage in the sel$3listening exercise( Face that anxiety head on by $eeling it co#pletely" and release all e$$orts to prevent it $ro# ;7
co#ing to you( Greet the sensations" accept the#" observe the#" be %ith the#" and experience the#( @ou6ll +uickly prevent general anxiety $ro# escalating into a panic attack( -nce you6ve been practicing the listening #ethod $or a%hile" you #ight even try going to a place that re#inds you o$ an anxious episode and i#ple#ent your listening skills %ith the $eelings that arise $ro# #e#ory( ?ach ti#e you extend yoursel$ in directly observing the previously avoided sensations" the bene$its o$ your e$$orts %ill increase" and your anxiety %ill d%indle( @ou6ll be a#azed at the sel$ e#po%er#ent you create by expanding your tolerance $urther and $urther each day( .t6s si#ilar to exercising running $i$ty yards #ight ;8
%ipe you out %hen e#barking on a $itness progra#( 4ut as you push your li#its little by little on a daily basis" you soon $ind yoursel$ running $urther and $urther %ith less e$$ort( 'ractice3 'ractice3 'ractice!
4e$ore %e #ove on" .6d like to stress once again the i#portance o$ this 9listening9 phase o$ Sel$ Therapy( Don6t #ake the #istake o$ =ust reading through this #aterial and =udging its value %ithout trying it( .$ you only read about it" then you6re %asting your ti#e here( isten to the recording at #c*#ethod(org to see i$ the guided audio %orks better $or you( Also" i$ you6re thinking that this process is si#ilar to si#ply $eeling an e#otion like ;;
you nor#ally do" please kno% that there is a h$ge di$$erence bet%een si#ply %alking around %ith a $eeling and actually taking the ti#e to $ully listen to the energy directly( .$ you6re su$$ering $ro# anxiety" the #anner in %hich you6ve been experiencing adverse $eelings is #ost certainly one o$ avoidance( This #eans that %hen there is a sti#ulus or thought pro#pting $ear or anxiety %ithin you" you probably try to avoid the situation" andJor suppress the e#otional reaction( 4ut it is by consciously taking ti#e to co#pletely $eel the unco#$ortable energy that you %ill boost your tolerance and co#$ort levels $or both that $eeling" and the situations that cause it to arise(
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Self Therapy 'ractice Session 45
O&ON./" /isten to the g$ided a$dio at C2ethod*org (trac of an'iety version)% then sip this session* .$ there are certain types o$ situations that provoke especially high levels o$ anxiety $or you" or i$ there are past events in your li$e that plague you %ill guilt" anger" or other inner tur#oil" .6d like to sho% you a use$ul variation o$ the listening techni+ue that helps reduce the e#otional i#pact o$ such events( -ne o$ the #ost po%er$ul therapeutic tools o$ a #ental health pro$essional is the skill o$ active listening( An e$$ective psychologist %ill e#ploy active listening to guide a patient into e#otional sel$3 ;>
a%areness( 4y pro#pting the person to describe a #e#ory" and ho% they $eel during that recollection &e(g( by asking $or clari$ications'" the patient is led into a state o$ re3experiencing unco#$ortable e#otional energies( This e#otional re3 i##ersion in a sa$e environ#ent can drastically decrease the intensity o$ unco#$ortable e#otions( /hile such hand3holding #ay be bene$icial" especially $or deeply trau#atic or repressed #e#ories" the counselor is still relying al#ost co#pletely on the patient6s ability to heal their o%n e#otional state( The healing is induced by the direct i##ersion into e#otional energies that the doctor6s active listening necessitates(
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Sel$ Therapy e#po%ers you %ith that sa#e po%er$ul tool" %ithout #aking you dependent on any other person $or your inner har#ony( There #ay be certain issues that you $ind too di$$icult to re$lect on alone" $or %hich pro$essional help #ay be sought( o%ever" $or #any e#otional events" especially those revolving around anxiety" you can also be a good listener to yoursel$ yoursel$ 5 and provide to yo$rself to yo$rself the the sa#e supportive and accepting environ#ent that pro#otes inner healing( . %ould no% like to lead you through an exercise that de#onstrates exactly ho% to do this( 4e$ore getting started" please think o$ a #oderately unco#$ortable experience that you6ve had recently" or perhaps =ust a general situation that
causes you to $eel anxious( /e6ll use that experience $or a practice de#onstration( For this exercise" you should be in a co#$ortable seated position" in an area $ree o$ distractions( @ou should not be driving or operating #achinery o$ any kind( As be$ore" you should either read through the steps be$ore trying the#" or use the guided audio link above( Step I
/hen you6re ready" close your eyes and relax Direct your a%areness in%ardly" and =ust $eel the sensations o$ your body( Take a $e% #o#ents to relax into the $eelings o$ your being" and let any thoughts that co#e to you =ust $loat a%ay( <1
.#agine yoursel$ no%" in your #ind6s eye" in the situation that #akes you anxious" $ear$ul" or other%ise unco#$ortable( /hether this is a past event that causes lingering disco#$ort" or an upco#ing one that you6re nervous about" visualize yoursel$ in the situation 5 as i$ it is currently happening right no%" all around you( Do a hal$%ay decent =ob o$ #entally pro=ecting yoursel$ into the situation &as i$ you6re in it right no%'" and you %ill +uickly notice an e#otional reaction arise so#e%here in your body &e(g( nervousness" stress" uneasiness'( .##ediately trans$er your a%areness to that energy( Hust let it co#e( et it be there %ithout trying to stop it( Do not react to the energy" do not try to evaluate or analyze it" and above all do not try to <*
suppress it( Hust be %ith the energy %ith all your observing a%areness( /e6ll no% per$or# the steps o$ Sel$ Therapy listening =ust as %e did in the $irst session" instead applying the# to this internally generated $eeling( Step II
First" greet the energy by saying so#ething like" 9ello energy9( Then" =ust keep your accepting a%areness on the energy( isten to it %ithout analysis" %ithout evaluation" and %ithout avoidance( Do this $or a couple #inutes no%(
.$ you start to lose $ocus" say so#ething to the energy like 9. a# %ith you( . %ant to kno% you9( .$ you lose track o$ the energy" si#ply re3visualize the situation and then trans$er a%areness back to the $eeling( )ontinue listening in this #anner $or a couple #ore #inutes( Step III
No%" start describing the energy6s physical characteristics( Eeep your in%ard a%areness on the sensation and re$lect your observations to it" either out loud or in your #ind( I ?nergy" you are((( I Sensation" you are((( <7
I Feeling" you are((( /hen distracting thoughts arise" =ust let the# go and re3greet the energy( Tell the energy there is nothing #ore i#portant to you right no% than getting to kno% and be co#$ortable %ith it( )ontinue listening and re$lecting $or as long as you6d like( As %ith the standard $or# o$ Sel$ Therapy &$irst practice session'" #ost o$ your ti#e should be spent on this step( Step IV
No%" let the energy kno% that you accept and appreciate its presence by repeating the $ollo%ing phrases to it( As you do so" kno% that as you continue <8
increasing your ability to tolerate $eelings like this one" you %ill also be able to handle the situations %here these energies arise( So once again" direct your a%areness to the energy" and repeat so#e phrases like these: I ?nergy" you are okay to be %here you are( I Feeling" . accept your presence in #e( I ?#otion" . do not seek to suppress you( I ?nergy" thank you $or your #essage( I ?nergy" . can handle you( I ?nergy" . can be %ith or %ithout you( <;
@ou6re $ree to change the %ording in any #anner that $eels right $or you as long as it $acilitates the goal o$ 9accepting observation9( And as #entioned be$ore" you can #ove bet%een all these steps as you see $it( Stay %ith the energy until you $eel that you are able to tolerate and even be co#$ortable %ith its presence( Not only does this have the therapeutic e$$ect o$ reducing anxiety" but such e#otional tolerance also #akes you less likely to avoid situations that you6ve co#e to associate %ith adverse $eelings( -nce again" the #ost i#portant co#ponent o$ achieving this ob=ective is the practice o$ non3evaluational listening and $ocused observation o$ your energy( .$ you lose track o$ the $eeling you started %ith" you #ay %ant to repeat the entire process( Start over by visualizing <<
the situation so that the energy is re$ocused %ithin you" and then proceed through the steps again( @ou %ill probably notice that each ti#e you repeat the process" the original energy6s tendency to e#otionally over%hel# you %ill beco#e %eaker and %eaker( ?ventually" %hen practicing this #ethod regularly" you #ay have a hard ti#e even $inding the adverse energies that once a$$ected you( ,lti#ately" you %ill $eel in control o$ yoursel$ even %hen the energies do resur$ace" because you have consciously a$$ir#ed your ability to handle their presence( Many other anti3anxiety exercises involve relaxation" perhaps using #uscle contraction or peace$ul visualizations( o%ever" relaxation is not the goal o$ this exercise that %e6re doing here( To <>
the contrary" %e6re actually visualizing a $eared or 9undesirable9 situation $or the speci$ic purpose o$ re3creating and $ully experiencing the disco#$ort %ithout e#otional avoidance( .ronically" pro$ound and lasting relaxation is #ore o$ten the eventual result( Real6ti$e Self Therapy
.$ your experience o$ anxiety is anything like #ine %as" your daily li$e is probably riddled %ith situations that you loathe because o$ the unpleasant $eelings they cause( @ou %ill $ind Sel$ Therapy to be an i##ensely valuable tool $or keeping your e#otional balance as you $ace such events(
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For exa#ple" there %as a ti#e %hen . %as +uite literally petri$ied o$ speaking in $ront o$ groups( . say 9petri$ied9 because %hen . %ould talk in $ront o$ people" the anxiety %ould be so extre#e that a lu#p in #y throat %ould virtually prevent #e $ro# speaking( . %ould blush like a to#ato and #entally $reeze so that . couldn6t even think o$ %hat . had to say( This reaction alone #ade the %hole experience #any ti#es %orse( A$ter learning the Sel$ Therapy listening techni+ue" . started to apply it to #y $ear o$ public speaking( .$ . kne% in advance that . %ould be giving a presentation" . %ould start by per$or#ing the variation o$ Sel$ Therapy that %e =ust discussed" applying it to the upco#ing event( .6d visualize #ysel$ in the $uture speaking situation &or actually practice the speech >B
%hile i#agining #ysel$ 9on stage9'" and =ust be %ith the energies that arose( More i#portantly" as the ti#e to speak approached" even #inutes be$ore" . %ould continue actively listening to #y energies as . got ready( And $inally" even %hile speaking" . %ould keep so#e #ental a%areness on the anxiety energies %elling up inside o$ #e( /hereas previously . %ould have tried to suppress those energies %hile speaking &%hich al%ays resulted in disaster'" . could no% =ust let all those reactions $lo% into and through #e( ?ven i$ . thought #y heart %as going to explode" . could =ust $eel it" and continue acting cal# on the outside( /hat %ould have previously beco#e bottled up energy overload %as no% a co#pletely #anageable reaction( >1
As . beca#e #ore con$ident in #y ability to handle these sensations" the $ear that %as causing the reaction in the $irst place eventually dissolved" along %ith #y $ear o$ speaking( .t #ay initially be so#e%hat o$ a challenge to concentrate a%areness in%ardly like this %hile involved in an activity like speaking or interacting" but it6s really #uch less o$ a distraction than suppressed anxiety %ould be( @ou %ill $ind that" %ith practice" #aintaining an inner a%areness %hile out%ardly interacting is possible" and very bene$icial( -bviously you %on6t be able to have the $ull3$ledged inner dialog %ith your $eelings" but an accepting a%areness is the key co#ponent in #anaging such situations( >*
.6ve used public speaking anxiety as an exa#ple here" but the sa#e concept can be applied to any situation3speci$ic anxiety( And %hile this exa#ple did allo% $or so#e #ental preparation" you can also apply Sel$ Therapy to unanticipated situations as they occur( Hust keep a portion o$ your #ental a%areness on your inner sensations" observe the#" and accept their presence( @ou #ight even try intentionally placing yoursel$ into so#e situations that cause anxiety" =ust to practice listening to the sensations that arise( i$e is $ull o$ events that #ake us $eel one %ay or another( .ncreasing your ability to tolerate such situations" and your inner reactions" is an a#azing step $or%ard to beco#ing the person o$ your $ull potential( .$ you can handle anything >C
in your inner %orld" you can handle anything in your outer %orld( This brings #e to one #ore topic .6d like to cover be$ore leaving this section( /e6ve pri#arily discussed Sel$ Therapy listening as applied to anxiety( o%ever" learning to experience other e#otions %ithout avoidance is also i#portant( For exa#ple" think o$ ho% co##on it is $or people to avoid trusting or loving so#eone $ully because they6re a$raid o$ re3experiencing sensations o$ loss" betrayal" re=ection" or other $eelings that they6ve encountered in the past( .t6s not $ear o$ loss it6s $ear o$ the feeling o$ loss( ?#barrass#ent" anger" sadness" loneliness" and so #any other e#otions >7
no one usually %ants to experience these things" but they are sensations that #ake us hu#an( The degree to %hich %e6ve insulated ourselves $ro# $eelings that %e6ve gro%n to $ear" grasping $or e#otional co#$ort and security" is also a #easure o$ ho% #uch %e6re li#iting ourselves and our lives( So regardless o$ %hat sensations co#e along" take the opportunity to gro% $ro# the#( 4e %ith those $eelings" and %ork on observing their energy %ith acceptance rather than avoidance( appiness" sadness" peace" su$$ering" love" loneliness( These things %ill co#e and go( 2eal =oy" and real inner strength" can be $ound in being able to $eel each #o#ent and being oay %ith yoursel$ in it( >8
Self Therapy "istenin*" Re7ie1
The Sel$ Therapy listening skills that you6ve =ust learned %ill be po%er$ul tools $or #anaging your anxiety( istening to and gaining #astery over inner energies has pro$ound bene$its $or anxiety reduction( Si#ply kno%ing that you can tolerate and no longer need to $ear negative $eelings" or the situations that inspire the#" %ill #ake a tre#endous di$$erence in your anxiety levels( @our $ears %ill no longer get nearly the a#ount o$ e#otional $uel that you previously gave the# once you trust in your capacity to handle even the %orst case e#otional scenarios( Don6t give anxiety the additional po%er that $earing its presence creates( Make the practice o$ Sel$ Therapy listening part o$ your daily li$e" and you %ill see its >;
bene$its constantly un$olding be$ore you in #ore pro$ound %ays( . %ould reco##end continuing %ith the listening exercises regularly" at least one or #ore sessions per day i$ possible" especially i$ your anxiety levels are still high( .t6s probably a good idea to use the guided audio recordings a couple ti#es in the beginning to be sure that you6re applying the concepts correctly &go to M)*Method(org'( @ou6ll eventually co#e up %ith your o%n variations" but initially it6s i#portant to be %orking %ith a proper $oundation( earn to look $or%ard to spending that ti#e %ith yoursel$" and kno% that your accu#ulated e$$orts %ill lead to inner $reedo#(
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The upco#ing #aterial is best utilized once you6ve #anaged your current anxiety to a degree that it is not over%hel#ing you( For #ost people" the 9listening9 exercises %ill be the #ost i#portant co#ponent o$ the Sel$ Therapy process and overco#ing anxiety( .n $act" it used to be the entire progra#!
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Re7ersin* the Anxiety Tren/
To stop stress and anxiety $ro# arising in the $irst place" %e #ust look at %here those $eelings are originating $ro#( And in al#ost every case" the cause is our thoughts and belie$s( @ou6ve probably heard the ter# 9seeing the %orld through rose colored glasses9( /ell" %ith anxiety you6re looking at the %orld through lenses o$ $ear( The origin o$ this behavior #ay be sel$3preservation instinct" but an excess o$ it beco#es purely sel$3de$eating( 2e$lect $or a #o#ent on the $act that it6s not situations the#selves that cause stress it6s your perception o$ ho% they #ay a$$ect you( Thinking o$ and i#agining $eared outco#es excessively >
eventually causes the body to react to the i#ages as i$ they are reality" resulting in $eelings o$ anxiety and stress( Thoughts" being the $ilters o$ perception" are also the #anu$acturer o$ $eelings( And the e#otional +uality o$ everything you do during your day is going to re$lect those $eelings that you have created %ith your thoughts( So#eti#es the reverse can occur" %here a $eeling in$luences thinking( A good exa#ple is a panic attack or anyti#e %e6re a$raid o$ an e#otion( Fear o$ the $eeling itsel$ causes us to i#agine so#ething bad( And it6s $or that reason that this progra# began %ith developing your ability to handle all $eelings so that you don6t have to $ear the#( 4ut in #ost cases" the do%n%ard thought3$eeling B
cycle usually begins %ith thoughts and perceptions( Do you %onder %hy you $eel better %hen you are %ith certain people" or %hen you are in certain situations0 .t6s because you think di$$erently in those situations( .$ you6re %ith good $riends that accept and appreciate you and #ake you think %ell o$ yoursel$" you6re probably going to $eel $ine &or even great'( -n the other hand" i$ you6re in a 9stress$ul situation9 that poses a lot o$ 9negative possibilities9" you6re probably going to do a lot #ore 9%hat i$9 or 9catastrophe9 thinking( 4ut the $act is that you could instead be exerting a sense o$ control by i#agining and i#ple#enting positive solutions(
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/hy do you $eel better %hen you6re reading an inspirational book0 4ecause it6s giving you inspirational thoughts( 4ut you can start producing your o%n inspirational thoughts all the ti#e( /hy do you reach out $or or even cling to certain people %hen you6re $eeling $ear$ul or uneasy0 4ecause their presence or supportive attitude enables the type o$ thinking %ithin your #ind that #akes you $eel sa$e and secure( 4ut you can do the sa#e thing $or yoursel$! /hether in %ords" i#ages or both" %e6re involved al#ost constantly in an inner dialog %ith ourselves( And to overco#e anxiety %e need to control the direction o$ this co##unication( 2ather than continuing to blindly $ollo% the progra##ing that %e6ve passively absorbed $ro# unenlightened people and *
9negative9 experiences" %e can choose to start taking conscious control o$ deciding the type o$ thoughts that %e6ll produce and 9speak9 to ourselves( NO!" lease don5t dismiss the remainder of this boo by thining it might be a co$rse in 6positive thining6* .ltho$gh some+hat along those lines% & feel confident in g$essing that every approach to positive tho$ght that yo$5ve ever been e'posed to before +as probably fla+ed in some +ay% other+ise yo$ +o$ldn5t be here* ,o please read on7 .#proving the +uality o$ your thoughts is a critical step to%ard de$eating anxiety( .t is the #ental preoccupation %ith i#ages o$ things you $ear that causes your body to get nervous" release C
adrenaline and create other anxiety sensations( The $act is" i$ your #ind didn6t have a tendency to d%ell on negative thoughts and possibilities" the $ear reaction o$ anxiety %ould have no basis on %hich to gro%" and the avoidance behaviors leading to anxiety and stress %ould be #uch less likely to occur( Stress and anxiety si#ply cannot exist %ithout the thoughts that create the#( So %hat6s the conclusion0 2everse your thinking and you %ill reverse your anxiety( Those %ho stagnate in li$e" those %ho resist change" and o$ course those %ho tend to%ard anxiety" are the ones %ho d%ell on negative possibilities( .$ you expect bad things or nothing to co#e o$ your e$$orts" you6re probably not going to do #uch to better yoursel$ 5 people 7
act in accordance %ith their belie$s( 4ut e#otionally e#po%ered people have their #inds $ocused on the positive possibilities and act to%ard #ani$esting those possibilities( Don6t cheat yoursel$ out o$ all that your li$e could be( Eno% that i$ you continue thinking and acting in your current #anner" this is %hat your li$e %ill continue to re$lect( 4ut it can be so #uch #ore( Eno% that you are the creator o$ your li$e" and start to choose #ore constructive thoughts and belie$s $or yoursel$ as #uch as possible( The 9speaking9 aspect o$ Sel$ Therapy involves taking back conscious control o$ your thought patterns" %hich is essentially your co##unication to 8
yoursel$( @ou stop passively sustaining old sel$3li#iting #essages" and decide %hat thoughts and belie$s you need to internalize in order to reach your ob=ectives" even i$ your only ob=ective is si#ple inner har#ony( To reverse the cycle o$ negativity that breeds anxiety" keep a%are o$ the %alls that i#proper thinking builds bet%een you and your true goals" and begin to re3arrange your thoughts and belie$s in a #ore constructive #anner( Sure" bad things %ill so#eti#es happen( 4ut your #ental energy %ould be #uch better spent on #ani$esting positive possibilities and solving proble#s that really do arise" rather than i#agining the #yriad situations that could" but probably %on6t" arise( ;
Thou*ht A/8ust$ent
To begin reprogra##ing your #ind" it6s help$ul to $irst deter#ine %hat thoughts and belie$s you personally hold that are responsible $or your anxiety( So#e o$ these #ight be obvious to you already" and in the next sections %e %ill cover a $e% o$ the #ost co##on thought patterns that lead to anxiety( o%ever" you #ay also have so#e uni+ue personal belie$s that need ad=ust#ent( 2e$lect on things in your li$e that cause anxiety $or you" consider the $aulty thoughts behind the reactions" and decide %hat replace#ent thoughts you #ust assu#e in order to achieve the e#otional result you desire( @ou #ight consider an e#otionally secure or <
con$ident person that you kno%" and $igure out %hat they #ust $eel and believe about the#selves in order to be that %ay( ?verybody %ill have so#e personal thoughts and belie$s to change" and their o%n variations $or ne% and e#po%ering ones( .nitially" your replace#ent thoughts don6t have to be the co#plete opposite o$ your current ones( For exa#ple" =ust ackno%ledging a positive possibility is a signi$icant i#prove#ent" and an excellent starting point( 4e$ore #oving on" let #e re#ind you to not $orget about your 9listening9 skills( ,sing the upco#ing 9thought ad=ust#ent9 as a #ethod o$ repressing existing e#otions that you6d like to avoid is counterproductive( .$ there6s $ear or avoidance underlying your ne% >
thoughts" it %ill likely under#ine your e$$orts( There$ore" be sure to keep practicing %hat you learned in Sel$ Therapy 9listening9 as you #ove into this next section( /hen $irst getting started" it6s a good idea to per$or# a listening session =ust be$ore %orking on thought ad=ust#ent( This %ay you $irst overco#e any tendency to%ard avoidance o$ your energies" a$$ir# your ability to handle their presence" and don6t #ake the #istake o$ using the thought ad=ust#ent exercises as a #eans o$ e#otional suppression( -nce you6ve #anaged anxiety and other $eelings" you are then in the best position to reprogra# your #ind %ith ne% and e#po%ering belie$s(
So %ith that in #ind" let6s get started( .n order to de#onstrate the process o$ thought ad=ust#ent" %e6re no% going to %ork on reversing so#e co##on thought patterns and behaviors that lead to increases in anxiety( The purpose o$ these sessions is to instill so#e general thought patterns and belie$s as a $oundation on %hich to start building your anxiety resistance( -$ course" the intention is not to brain%ash you into accepting belie$s that you don6t agree %ith( .$ you should encounter any concept or thought that you6re not co#$ortable %ith" si#ply ignore it and #ove on to the next( And you6ll #ost likely $ind so#e state#ents that don6t apply to your particular situation( They6re all presented only as exa#ples o$ general healthy attitudes to 1BB
hold" and assu#e that you6re using good =udg#ent in their application at all ti#es( For the upco#ing exercises" please $ind a private and co#$ortable environ#ent" %here you can %ork %ithout distraction( Thou*h A/8ust$ent Session 49
R!CO!N!" /isten to the follo+ing sessions at C2ethod*org (tracs 13-18 of an'iety a$dio)% then sip ahead * For de#onstration" please start by si#ply repeating the $ollo%ing phrases out loud to get $a#iliar %ith the#:
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I /ith #y ne% skills" . no longer need to avoid" suppress or run $ro# anxiety( I /hen . $eel anxiety arising" . can no% =ust listen to it and be %ith it( I . no% kno% that . can handle any $eeling that arises in #y body No%" do the sa#e thing again 5 repeat the phrases out loud( 9o+ever " this ti#e say the# %ith the co#plete $eeling that they are really true $or you( Place your e#phasis on the feeling that #atches the %ords" rather than =ust the %ords: I /ith #y ne% skills" . no longer need to avoid" suppress or run $ro# anxiety( I /hen . $eel anxiety arising" . can no% =ust listen to it and be %ith it(
1B*
2e#e#ber" it is very i#portant that you try to create the inner $eeling that the state#ents are in $act true $or you no% 5 perhaps a happiness or =oy that you6re overco#ing anxiety( /ithout generating the $eelings" the %ords do not carry any energy( 2epeat the last phrase %ith this in #ind: I . no% kno% that . can handle any $eeling that arises in #y body -kay" that6s a good start( No%" here are so#e additional steps to really get the energy o$ your body &belie$' into align#ent %ith the %ords that you6re speaking( Turn your a%areness to%ard the inside o$ your body" and do the $ollo%ing:
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I 2e#ind yoursel$ that %hat you6ve learned so $ar has enabled you to stop $earing anxiety 5 that it %ill set you $ree( I Feel and listen to any positive e#otional energy that arises $ro# that thought( I et yoursel$ $eel those positive e#otions" and try to expand the# %ithout thinking about the#( I 2ealize that your internal $eeling is no% that o$ a person %ho has overco#e anxiety( I .n%ardly congratulate yoursel$ $or having $ound a %ay beyond anxiety( 1B7
I )ontinue listening to and expanding the $eeling in your body( .$ necessary" re#ind yoursel$ that anxiety relie$ i$ real $or you no%" and then continue expanding the energy( Don6t think about it 5 =ust $eel it" and #entally %ill the energy to expand( So %hat %e6re doing here is trying to get your body energies to correspond %ith those o$ a person %ho kno%s that they are anxiety $ree( Speaking %ords out loud &the li#it o$ #ost positive thinking and a$$ir#ation progra#s' is only a start( Speaking %ith intense $eeling is an i#prove#ent( o%ever" the #ost i#portant co#ponent o$ the process is to do %hatever it takes in your #ind to get your body energies into align#ent %ith 1B8
the thoughts 5 even i$ =ust $or a #o#ent( So#eti#es si#ply thinking about a positive possibility can get so#e o$ the target energy $lo%ing( At other ti#es" visualizing yoursel$ acting in a certain #anner can help" or perhaps =ust speaking the %ords %ill bring up a bit o$ the energy( 4ut the #ost i#portant and po%er$ul step co#es %hen you drop the thought" $eel the energy" and expand it through your #ental %ill( Eeep thought out o$ the process at that point =ust $eel the energy" and expand it in your body as #uch as possible( Eno% that it is real $or you in that #o#ent( This %hole process beco#es easier %ith practice" and %ith ti#e you6ll $ind the 1B;
results to be truly pro$ound( As %e #ove $or%ard" keep in #ind that even though . #ay be introducing ne% thoughts and perspectives %ith %ords" our ob=ective is to generate the body energy o$ belie$ that corresponds to those %ords( Don:t Worry3 0e Real+istic,
/orry can be a bene$icial survival #echanis#" as it is %orry that o$ten #otivates us to choose sa$er alternatives( o%ever" the excess %orry that causes anxiety usually provides little bene$it" and can severely li#it your ability to engage in nor#al activities( For exa#ple" so#e anxious people $ear $lying in airplanes( /hile $lying does involve an ele#ent o$ physical danger" the a#ount o$ #ental energy channeled 1B<
into negative expectations usually $ar out%eighs the a#ount o$ actual risk( Ask yoursel$" %hat is the realistic probability that your $eared event %ill actually happen0 .s it %orth $illing your head and coloring your experience %ith visions o$ catastrophe0 .ronically" the i#agined catastrophe $or even #ore anxious people is a physically har#less event that could occur( This #ight revolve around $ear o$ re=ection" $ailure" e#barrass#ent" loss" loneliness 5 the list goes on( Anxiety about such irrational $ears" i$ not con$ronted" can be truly devastating i$ it prevents us $ro# taking action to achieve the type o$ li$e %e desire( /hat %e need in order to start #oving beyond these sel$3li#iting tendencies are replace#ent belie$s that 1B>
give us a sense o$ control in all situations( There is one belie$ in particular" one realization" that %hen $ully internalized" %ill $ree you to live %ithout excess anxiety" and to $ully en=oy the li$e that you have available to you no%( /hat is it0 .t is the realization that :O; C.N 9.N/! & ( /hatever it is that you $ear happening" realize no% that yo$ +o$ld be able to handle it i$ it did happen( No #atter ho% bad it is" you have a strong #ind and you %ill be able to cope( @ou %on6t lose your sanity( @ou %ill survive( .n Sel$ Therapy 9listening9" you already began %orking on your ability to be present %ith the $eelings in your body( This is %here con$idence in your 1B
capacity to handle anything begins( Eno%ing that you can experience negative $eelings like anxiety %ithout avoidance is a po%er$ul step to%ard overco#ing their li#iting e$$ects( .n order to rein$orce the con$idence you6re gaining $ro# the 9listening9 exercises" that6s %hy %e6ve also #ade this the sub=ect o$ our $irst thought ad=ust#ent session( To continue building on the initial C state#ents" please repeat the $ollo%ing phrases out loud %ith the strong and congruent $eeling that they are already true $or you no%: I . no% accept all $eelings that co#e to #e( . let the# co#e(
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I Fearing e#otions or body sensations only gives the# po%er( . e#brace $eelings instead( I . a# %illing to experience all hu#an e#otion( I 4y being able to experience all e#otions" . a# no% able to live #ore $ully( I /hen . $eel $ear" . =ust $eel it( . a# proud o$ #y ability to tolerate and go through $ear( I . do not repress or run $ro# anxiety( . $ully $eel #y anxiety and kno% . can handle it(
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I /hen . sense anxiety" . no longer run $ro# it by seeking #ental or social diversions( 2e#e#ber" $or #axi#u# i#pact speak each thought %ith the belie$ that it is true $or you already( -nce again" the %ords don6t #atter 5 it is the $eeling that #atters( This is %hat gives the thoughts real po%er( Try to ignore the intellect" %hich likes to argue %ith anything that does not con$or# to your belie$ syste#( @ou6ll recognize the 9intellect9 5 it6s that voice in your head saying 9no you6re not9 every ti#e you think a ne% thought about yoursel$( 4y concentrating your $ull a%areness on the replace#ent thoughts %ith $ull belie$ and congruent $eeling behind the#" you %ill not leave any roo# $or the intellect to inter$ere( .n this %ay" you are bypassing the 11*
analytical intellect" and speaking directly to your subconscious #ind( So speak your ne% thoughts %ith co#plete belie$ and deep e#otion( Feel the %ords being spoken out to the universe by every cell o$ your being( Pro=ect and sense the =oy or %hatever e#otion you %ould expect to have i$ the target condition %here already attained( Eno% that the change is true $or you already( As you take ti#e everyday to instill your ne% thoughts and belie$s in this #anner" the e$$ects %ill accu#ulate" and generating the $eelings %ill beco#e #ore natural( The intellect %ill soon beco#e #ore accepting" and eventually
11C
the ne% thoughts and belie$s %ill replace the old ones( A$ter speaking these last state#ents out loud" you probably already generated so#e o$ the energy that is in align#ent %ith the thoughts( .$ not" re#ind yoursel$ si#ply o$ the possibility that %hat you6ve learned in this book %ill enable you to handle anything that arises in your body" including anxiety( Then: I Feel and listen to any positive e#otional energy that has arisen $ro# these thoughts( I /hile $eeling and listening to those positive e#otions" try to expand the# %ithout thinking about the#(
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I 2ealize that your internal $eelings are no% those o$ a person %ho can handle anything( I .n%ardly congratulate yoursel$ $or having $ound true con$idence( I )ontinue concentrating on and expanding the $eeling in your body( Don6t think about it 5 =ust $eel it" expand it" radiate it( Stress Re/uction
. %ould no% like you to re$lect on this $act: .$ you can be okay %ith any sensation or e#otion inside o$ you" then you %ill also be able to handle anything that happens outside o$ you( This is 118
because it is really the inner reaction that you $ear( /e =ust talked about ho% %orry and anxiety beco#e sel$3de$eating %hen they prevent us $ro# taking action( 4ut conveniently" i$ you6ve developed con$idence in the $act that you %ould be able to handle any $eared event" then you %ill have already eli#inated the need $or #uch o$ your %orry( @ou see" %orry is si#ply a preoccupation %ith negative possibilities( 4ut i$ you kno% you could handle any o$ those possibilities i$ they did arise" then you %ill be #uch" #uch less likely to d%ell on the#( And %ithout %orry and $ear" anxiety %ill no longer be able to take root(
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2epeat the $ollo%ing a$$ir#ations out loud( As be$ore" speak %ith a co#plete kno%ing that they are already true $or you no%( Speak the %ords as i$ %ith every cell o$ your being 5 as i$ every cell o$ your body absolutely kno%s their truth( I . have the capacity to handle anything that happens( I There is nothing . can6t handle" only the #is3belie$ that . can6t handle it( I .nstead o$ %orrying" . kno% that . a# able to cope %ith any situation that arises(
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I . have the e#otional strength to handle anything that co#es #y %ay( I Since . can handle anything" . can no% go through #y $ears( I . %ill survive even i$ the %orst case e#otional scenario happens( I /hen . $eel $ear" . continue taking action %ith con$idence and go through it( I . have the capacity to handle any situation" any outco#e" any event( -ne reason that people disregard the po%er o$ traditional 9positive thinking9 is because o$ the delay and disconnect 11>
bet%een the thought reversal and $eeling reversal( That6s %hy %e are doing both si#ultaneously( Another pit$all is that even %hen speaking positive a$$ir#ations" it is very easy to actually be thinking the exact opposite( Again" it is $or this reason that . place e#phasis on generating the desired and congruent $eelings" rather than =ust speaking positive thoughts( .t is the feeling and body energy that matters above all else( That is %here belie$ lies( earning to sel$3generate e#otional energy does take so#e practice" so don6t be too concerned i$ you cannot instantaneously create a strong $eeling %hen you6re $irst getting started here( Hust keep doing the best you can" and e#otional ad=ust#ent %ill co#e( .ts strength %ill continue to increase as you 11
continue generating your ne% energies $ro# day to day( E$otional Self Reliance
)on$idence can be increased by trusting in your ability to solve proble#s and co#plications that arise" as they arise( Al%ays re#e#ber that you can handle anything that happens" because you have a strong #ind( .$ you had the creativity to i#agine the +uantity o$ negative possibilities necessary to create anxiety" then your #ind is also resource$ul enough to $ind solutions to the proble#s that really do co#e along( Proble# solving ability is like a #uscle in your #ind exercise those #uscles on a daily basis" %hen they6re needed" and you %ill
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beco#e a #ore e$$ective" and relaxed" relaxed" person( 4y trusting in your ability to cope %ith" $ix" or i#prove any undesirable situation" you %ill #aintain a sense o$ control over your li$e and daily events( That sense o$ control prevents situations $ro# beco#ing sources o$ stress and trau#a( Hust re#e#ber that there is al%ays so#ething you can do( @ou are never given #ore than you can handle in this li$e( And it is by #aintaining a sense o$ control over your circu#stances that you gain real e#otional strength %ithin( 2epeat these thoughts out loud %ith the $eeling throughout your body that they are true $or you no%:
1*1
I . have the ability to $ind solutions to the proble#s that arise in #y li$e( I . have a po%er$ul #ind and a# a strong proble# solver( I . put #ental energy into $inding positive solutions( I . can al%ays $ind a %ay to i#prove an undesirable circu#stance( I ?very ti#e . solve a proble# and i#prove #y li$e" . beco#e a stronger person( I 4ecause . can $ind a solution to any proble#" . no longer longer need to %orry about 9bad9 things happening( 1**
The attitudes that %e6ve covered so $ar can help greatly %ith reducing the anxiety and stress caused by 9%hat i$9 thinking( /hen you kno% that you6d be able to handle %hatever happens" you %on6t spend so #uch ti#e %orrying about all the #yriad negative possibilities that could happen( Apply these attitudes to $ears and %orries that are causing you anxiety or li#iting your personal gro%th( @ou #ight also experi#ent %ith changing your perception o$ 9negative9 events( As a personal exa#ple" . once vie%ed #y anxiety as so#ething undesirable and 9bad9( 4ut %as it really 9bad9 i$ . got through it" beca#e a stronger" #ore content person as a result" and can no% help others0 My $riend %as 1*C
devastated %hen her last relationship $ell apart" and she couldn6t see any other $uture( 4ut %as the experience 9bad9 i$ it helped her to gro% e#otionally" and i$ she is no% #uch happier %ith her ne% partner0 Perhaps the tra$$ic on the %ay to %ork this #orning got you stressed %ould you $eel stressed i$ you kne% that the tra$$ic had diverted you $ro# a serious accident0 The 9negativity9 %e perceive in daily li$e is only relative" pure re$lection o$ the breadth o$ the observer6s perception( .$ nothing else" . urge you to si#ply experi#ent %ith seeing your li$e $ro# a larger" #ore enlightened" perspective( Trust that everything is =ust right $or its ti#e 5 that it6s the universe steering you in the right direction" even i$ you cannot yet see the destination( @es" you #ay 1*7
never kno% %hen a 9proble#9 %as a saving grace" %hen an 9accident9 %as preparing you $or better things" or %hen an 9obstacle9 taught you a crucial lesson( 4ut =ust try assu#ing the best( See the procession o$ events in your li$e $ro# this perspective" and all the little proble#s and setbacks %on6t see# +uite so 9bad9( Self Estee$
A healthy sel$3estee#" or regard $or onesel$" is another vital ele#ent o$ overco#ing anxiety( Acceptance o$ yoursel$ gives you the $reedo# to #ake #istakes you don6t need to try to appear per$ect to others i$ you6re already okay %ith yoursel$( .#agine %hat this can do $or $ear o$ $ailure" re=ection and social 1*8
anxiety( For exa#ple" %ould you %orry about saying so#ething stupid or e#barrassing yoursel$ i$ didn6t #atter so #uch to you %hat others thought0 /ould you $ear re=ection i$ you %here already so supportive and loving o$ yoursel$ that no one else6s negative criticis# could a$$ect you0 .#agine that 5 i$ no one6s =udg#ent could e#otionally touch you because your sense o$ sel$3%orth %as already so rock solid( @ou6d be able relax around others and =ust be yoursel$( @ou6d be able to $reely tell people %hat you $eel" let the# kno% %ho you are" and start #aking real connections( /hen you6re okay %ith %hat6s inside you" you don6t try to hide it $ro# others 5 i$ so#eone doesn6t like you" that6s their proble#( .n this #indset" it6s easier to act yoursel$" 1*;
try ne% things" and $eel authentic( .t6s $or all these reasons that i#proving sel$3 estee# is another #a=or key to coping %ith anxiety( So ho% can %e cultivate that unsinkable sel$3estee#0 The key once again is to i#prove your co##unication %ith yoursel$( )onsider the #anner in %hich you %ould hope that your best" #ost supportive" encouraging" and trust%orthy $riend %ould co##unicate %ith you 5 and then adopt this #anner o$ co##unication $or speaking to yoursel$( .nstead o$ relying on others $or your e#otional support and seeking the# out %hen things get bad" $igure out %hat type o$ e#otional energy and %ords you %ould %ish to receive $ro# the#" turn your attention in%ard" and give it to the inner you( 1*<
.$ %e depend on supportive #essages $ro# other people $or our sel$3estee#" then the opposite &neglect" criticis#" or negativity to%ards us' %ill logically eat a%ay at sel$ estee#( The solution is to $ree yoursel$ $ro# the daily barrage o$ uncontrollable external #essages that can destroy sel$3i#age by building your $oundation o$ sel$3estee# $ro# the inside( Stop looking outside $or approval" and co##unicate your thoughts o$ acceptance to your o%n inner sel$( As an additional #otivator" kno% that loving yoursel$ is not only a key to real sel$3content#ent" but also the $oundation $or success$ul relationships and $riendships( @ou #ust have love $or yoursel$ in order to have extra love to give to others( Moreover" you6re #uch 1*>
less likely to repel people %ith insecurity" and #ore likely to accept love $ro# the# %ithout doubt" i$ you already love yoursel$( This is because %hen you love yoursel$" you #ore naturally believe yoursel$ %orthy o$ others love( The $ollo%ing exercise should give you a good idea o$ the type o$ sel$ dialoging you can engage in to take charge o$ your o%n sel$3estee#( This seg#ent should not be per$or#ed %hile driving or operating #achinery( @ou should be in a seated position" in an area $ree $ro# distractions( 2epeat the $ollo%ing phrases * or C ti#es" doing your best to go beyond the
1*
%ords" into the body energy and $eeling that corresponds to their #eaning( I . accept and love #ysel$ unconditionally" as . a#( I . love the person . a# choosing to beco#e( 4e$ore #oving onto the next state#ents" .6d like to introduce another use$ul techni+ue o$ generating target energies that is by speaking your thoughts in%ardly to yoursel$ in the *nd person( For exa#ple" instead o$ saying 9. a# a con$ident person9" you6d turn your #ental $ocus to%ard your inner being and say" 9K &nsert yo$r name hereL" you are a con$ident person9( @ou speak $ro# the center o$ your consciousness into 1CB
your body and all the energies that #ake up your being( .$ done properly" %ith $ull $eeling and thought3$ree #ental $ocus" your subconscious #ind %ill perceive these #essages al#ost as i$ an ob=ective third party is #aking the state#ents about you( -$ten an outside and ob=ective state#ent is the one that %e &our subconscious' $ind #ost believable" and speaking in%ardly to yoursel$ in this #anner is an excellent %ay to si#ulate that e$$ect( This techni+ue #ay see# a bit strange at $irst" but re#e#ber that it is a #eans to an end( ?xperi#ent a little and you6ll discover that it really helps to create an energy o$ belie$ in your subconscious #ind( A$ter all" it %as outside in$luences that inspired #any o$ your perceptions in the $irst place( This #ethod o$ 1C1
speaking to yoursel$ is essentially replacing uncontrollable outside voices %ith your o%n" #ore enlightened one( Further#ore" the $ocus on your inner being leaves little roo# $or intellectual distraction" and can #ake $or a #ore direct i#pact on your subconscious #ind( Si#ply #odi$y your thought phrases by replacing the %ords 9. a#9 %ith the %ords 9Sel$" you are9 &%here 9sel$9 is your na#e'( et6s give it a try( )lose your eyes no% and turn your a%areness in%ard( 2epeat the $ollo%ing phrases" speaking $ro# the center o$ consciousness in your head do%n into your entire body and being( 2eplace the %ord 9sel$9 %ith your na#e( 1C*
I Sel$" . a# okay %ith the person you are( I Sel$" . en=oy spending ti#e %ith you and getting to kno% you( I Sel$" #y relationship %ith you is i#portant to #e( I Sel$" you are #y best $riend" and . a# your best $riend( I Sel$" . like the person that you are" and . like the person that you are beco#ing( Again" be sure to speak the phrases to yoursel$ %ith a genuine and absolute sincerity( Si#ultaneously generate a 1CC
$eeling that you really #ean it that it6s 1BB true no%( I Sel$" . support you and stand by you through everything and no #atter %hat( I Sel$" . %ill al%ays be %ith you as you #ove through any $ear( I Sel$" you can no% ignore outer criticis# that . love and accept you is all that #atters( I Sel$" . a# co##itted to giving you supportive and encouraging thoughts at all ti#es(
1C7
I Sel$" you are doing a great =ob( . a# proud o$ you( you( . congratulate you $or the the progress you have have #ade( I Sel$" you are #y co#$orter" . a# your co#$orter( I Sel$" you are the one . run to" and . a# the one you run to( I Sel$" there are so #any good things about you( . like %ho you are( I Sel$" . appreciate the hu#anness %ithin you( . appreciate your i#per$ections( I Sel$" it is okay %hen you #ake #istakes(
1C8
I Sel$" . look out $or you( . stand up $or you( I Sel$" everything %ill be okay( ?verything al%ays %ill be okay( I Sel$" . love you no #atter %hat( /hile your attention is still $ocused %ithin" take a #o#ent and =ust $eel your inner energies( No%" instead o$ speaking" try to pro=ect the energy o$ love to yoursel$( Feel the energies o$ co#plete acceptance" appreciation" ad#iration and any other co#ponents o$ love" and #entally radiate those in%ardly to yoursel$( Try this no%( .$ it helps" you can silently speak the %ords" 9Sel$" . love you and appreciate you9 as you pro=ect the energy o$ love into your 1C;
body( Feel those energies energies $lo%ing no% $or a $e% #inutes( Social Anxiety
Good $riendships and loving relationships can be one o$ li$e6s #ost re%arding experiences( o%ever" the +uality o$ such external relationships is in large part a re$lection o$ the +uality o$ your relationship %ith yoursel$( The last t%o sections provided an excellent $oundation to start %orking on your internal co##unication( Eno% that putting your relationship %ith yoursel$ $irst does not #ean being sel$ish( To the contrary" %hen you $irst resolve your o%n e#otional issues and beco#e less preoccupied by your your inner 1C<
su$$ering" you6ll be #uch #ore capable o$ giving yoursel$ to others( Step 1 in i#proving your relationship %ith the outside %orld is i#proving your relationship %ith yoursel$( ike a drop o$ %ater on a still lake" the e$$ects o$ your e$$orts to i#prove your inner relationship %ill ripple out to external ones( 4y #aking your inner needs a priority you %ill have the greatest positive i#pact on everyone around you( ike%ise" once you6ve created a healthy relationship %ith your inner sel$" you are then in the best position to start connecting %ith others in a healthy" non3 needy" non3clingy" unconditional #anner( The $ollo%ing a$$ir#ations %ill address so#e additional sources o$ social anxiety" shyness" and $ear o$ re=ection" 1C>
all o$ %hich are o$ten nothing #ore than sy#pto#s resulting $ro# negative expectation about social interaction( 2epeat these phrases %ith $ull e#otion" kno%ing they are true $or you no%: I . a# okay %ith #ysel$ and this #akes #e a co#$ortable person to be around( I 4ecause . a# secure %ith #ysel$" #y presence #akes others $eel secure( I aving resolved #y anxiety" . a# no% able to $ocus #y attention on others rather than #ysel$( This #akes #e a #ore likable person( I . kno% that not everyone %ill like the person . a#" and this is okay %ith #e( 1C
I .$ so#eone does not like #e or is not co#$ortable %ith #e" this is their proble#( I . can only be the person that . love" and let others love #e i$ they choose( I . do not try to appear per$ect to others( My interactions %ith others do not need to be per$ect( I Mistakes and i#per$ections #ake #e hu#an( . appreciate #y hu#anness( The people . care about like #e because . a# real and genuine(
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I . love and appreciate #y i#per$ect li$e" i#per$ect events" and i#per$ect interactions( I Anyone %ho disapproves o$ or =udges #e is o$ no i#portance to #e( I . have no $ear o$ =udg#ent or re=ection" because . a# already $ully okay %ith #ysel$( I . a# %illing to $eel nervousness" re=ection" and e#barrass#ent( . e#brace and go through such $eelings( I . take the risk o$ re=ection that getting to kno% others re+uires(
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I . take chances in order to $ind the relationships and $riendships . desire( This is a good place to introduce one #ore #ethod o$ ad=usting thought patterns and belie$s( . call this #ethod 9acting9" and it involves behaving in a #anner congruent %ith your targeted belie$s" even i$ such behaviors $eel arti$icial or unnatural at $irst( This is especially use$ul in social situations( /hile the approach #ay at $irst appear to be #ore o$ a physical activity than a #ental one" 9acting9 the role o$ the person you %ant to beco#e creates an extre#ely po%er$ul i#pression on your subconscious #ind that can +uickly beco#e the $oundation o$ your thoughts about yoursel$(
17*
For practice" next ti#e you6re not $eeling all that con$ident in a particular situation" try si#ply acting like you are con$ident( Stand tall" speak in a cal# voice" #ake eye contact" be controlled in your #ove#ents" and so on( @ou %ill probably be a#azed to $ind that by si#ply acting con$ident &even i$ you don6t $eel it initially' you %ill cultivate an energy o$ con$idence %ithin yoursel$ that %ill change your i#age o$ yoursel$( Not $eeling social0 Try acting social( Not $eeling energetic0 Try acting energetic( Not $eeling co#petent0 Try acting co#petent( @ou %ill beco#e it( So#e sel$ develop#ent coaches re$er to this #ethod as 9$ake it until you #ake it9( o%ever" it6s really not the sa#e as being $ake or phony( Phoniness involves insincerity( /hat .6# talking about here 17C
is 9acting9 as though you are already the person that you %ant and are choosing to beco#e" %hich is probably the best re$lection o$ %ho you really are( Acting is an a#azingly po%er$ul #ethod o$ rede$ining yoursel$" and it doesn6t take long $or ne% and i#proved behaviors to beco#e second nature( .ro$ Actin* to Takin* Action
?arlier %e %orked on building con$idence in your capacity to handle any $eelings or events that arise in daily li$e( 4ut %hile kno%ing that you %ould be able to handle any undesirable negative possibility is very co#$orting" true e#po%er#ent %ill co#e %hen you start taking real action to con$ront the things that you $ear( @ou are a person 177
that #ust continually gro% in order to be happy( See your anxiety as a %ake3up call that gro%th has slo%ed" and the ti#e $or pro$ound action is no%( /hile the Sel$ Therapy 9listening9 techni+ue %ill help you to #anage your e#otions and get a good grip on your anxiety" don6t #ake the #istake o$ trying to eli#inate your $ears co#pletely be$ore con$ronting the#( The deep realization that you can truly handle anything" and real $reedo# $ro# anxiety" co#es by proving to yoursel$ that you have the capacity to $eel $ear and go through it( To get out o$ your rut o$ stagnation" practice doing %hat you $ear even %hen you don6t yet $eel like it( Don6t %ait until 178
you $eel con$ident on the inside to take action on the outside( To achieve the #ost pro$ound levels o$ con$idence" you #ust do the things that you don6t yet have the con$idence to do( Massive inner strength co#es by taking action %hen you6re e#otionally do%n( So start looking $or gro%th opportunities by seeing events and situations in your li$e as practice opportunities( And be sure to use the real3ti#e Sel$ Therapy #ethod %hile taking the# on( To put this all another %ay" the best %ay to really de$eat the disco#$ort o$ anxiety is to intentionally con$ront your underlying $ears( For exa#ple" i$ you %ant to overco#e social anxiety" learn to invite" listen to" and even love that $eeling o$ nervousness and a%k%ardness that arises %hile you6re interacting( 17;
/henever you notice yoursel$ trying to avoid so#e person" interaction" or social situation due to anxiety" use that as an opportunity to practice being okay %ith your inner sensations( NO!" Of co$rse% +e5re not taling abo$t rational fears of realistically dangero$s sit$ations< al+ays $se good =$dgment and mae e'ceptions +here yo$r physical safety is concerned* See each challenge as one %ith yoursel$( For exa#ple" you are not =ust giving a speech you are con$ronting your $ear o$ speaking( @our $ocus isn6t =ust on the speech it is on being okay %ith the $eelings during the speech( 2egardless o$ ho% it goes" you are success$ul because you got up and $elt those sensations( 17<
Give positive $eedback to your inner sel$ %hile $acing $ears( @ou are doing so#ething very i#portant and very di$$icult( So co#pli#ent yoursel$ $re+uently( And realize that even 9$ailure9 is success( 2epeat the $ollo%ing a$$ir#ations %ith the $eeling and realization that they are already your o%n belie$s( I . look $or%ard to the good things that %ill co#e %ith going through #y $ears( I The anxiety .6# $eeling no% is %orse than the disco#$ort o$ change( . choose change(
17>
I Success$ul people go through $ear" $ailure" and re=ection( As do .( I . see anxiety provoking situations as practice and gro%th opportunities( I /henever . $eel anxiety" . take the opportunity to $eel it" accept it" and go through it( I . no% $ace situations %ith an attitude o$ e#otional con$rontation rather than avoidance( I My $ears have taught #e ho% to have courage %hen . a# a$raid(
17
I . kno% that con$idence is enhanced by con$ronting $ear . take action even %hen . $eel uncon$ident( I ?ven i$ the %orst outco#e happens" . %ill see it as a success$ul gro%th experience( .$ there is one real gi$t that anxiety provides" it6s dissatis$action %ith dissatis$action( .$ you6re not #aking progress in your li$e and #oving $or%ard %ith your goals in so#e %ay" you6re probably going to get uneasy( For exa#ple" i$ you6re experiencing anxiety no%" it6s +uite likely that you6re not content %ith your present external circu#stances( @ou #ight be holding back $ro# doing so#e things in your li$e that you %ant to do" #aking changes you 18B
need to #ake" standing up $or yoursel$ in so#e #anner" or #oving $or%ard %ith your li$e in one %ay or another( The reason . say this is that anxiety o$ten starts to dissolve once %e begin to take action externally" and internally prove to ourselves that %e are capable o$ achieving the circu#stances %e desire( ?arlier %e discussed ho% developing con$idence in your ability to handle any outco#e %ill eli#inate the need $or %orry $ro# %hich anxiety gro%s( Take that principle one step $urther no%" and realize that if yo$ become a person that can handle any fail$re% then yo$r s$ccess (ho+ever yo$ define it) is virt$ally g$aranteed ( .$ you really %ant so#ething bad enough" then no $ailure" no re=ection" and no setback %ill stop 181
you $ro# picking yoursel$ up and trying again( Fear o$ $ailure is itsel$ responsible $or #uch o$ the negative thinking that leads to inaction and anxiety( Free yoursel$ $ro# this trap by changing your perception o$ $ailure( 2e#ind yoursel$ o$ten that every $ailure is a learning experience and stepping stone to success" that you have the ability to acco#plish the ob=ectives you6ve set your #ind to" and that you are no% able to #ove through the discourage#ent and disappoint#ent o$ any setback( @ou #ight #ake so#e #istakes you #ight $ail #any ti#es( 4ut you %ill be able to persevere in the $ace o$ adversity because you6re pursuing a vision that you believe in( 18*
Thou*ht A/8ust$ent Re7ie1
.n this section o$ the book you6ve learned so#e i##ensely po%er$ul tools o$ sel$ trans$or#ation( /ith the#" you can begin to reprogra# your subconscious #ind and rede$ine yoursel$ by replacing sel$3de$eating and anxiety3 producing thought patterns %ith #ore constructive ones( /hile you shouldn6t expect to i##ediately reverse years o$ #ental inertia" kno% that the bene$its o$ your e$$orts %ill build upon the#selves as you continue practicing day a$ter day( 4y $ocusing as #uch #ental energy on truly believing the ne% thoughts" and generating congruent e#otional energies" you %ill drastically accelerate your results( ?ventually you6ll 18C
internalize ne% belie$s co#pletely and have a ne% basis $ro# %hich you interact %ith people and your external %orld in general( /henever you $eel $rustrated" re#e#ber that negative thinking and expectation is a habitual behavior that you6ve been 9practicing9 $or a long ti#e( As %ith any habit" it #ay take so#e ti#e to reverse" and you #ay occasionally $all into your old %ays( That6s okay 5 i$ this happens" =ust revie% %hat %e6ve discussed and gently #ove yoursel$ back to generating the ne% energies( Eno% that they %ill eventually beco#e your do#inant and natural e#otional $oundation(
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And once again" don6t $orget the i#portance o$ continuing %ith your listening exercises! 'hysical Health an/ Anxiety
Since anxiety is usually created in the #ind" it see#s logical that it should be resolved in the #ind" and this book pri#arily $ocuses on that aspect( o%ever" e#otional energies exist throughout the body" and you6d be %ise to consider both co#ponents in your recovery( The truth is that physical health can directly i#pact e#otional %ellness" including anxiety levels( /ithout taking proper care o$ both your #ind and body" you %ill si#ply not be able to #anage stress and anxiety as %ell as you %ould other%ise( 188
@ou6ve probably heard this a hundred ti#es" but a $e% #a=or co#ponents o$ a healthy li$estyle are proper diet and nutrition" good sleeping habits" and regular exercise( /hat you #ay not be a%are o$ is that a de$iciency in any one o$ these areas can actually contribute to stress" anxiety" and depression" and #ay be having #ore o$ a negative i#pact on your e#otional li$e than you realize( A co#plete course in health and nutrition is beyond the scope o$ this book" but there is plenty o$ #aterial out there should you %ish to increase your kno%ledge o$ the sub=ect( For no%" let6s take a +uick look at so#e o$ the #ost co##on %eak links in e$$orts to%ard anxiety relie$(
18;
NO!" &t is advisable to cons$lt +ith a doctor before maing changes to yo$r diet or fitness program* ;et an a/e
-ver #illions o$ years our bodies have evolved %ith regular physical activity present" %hich #odern conveniences" transportation" and o$$ice =obs have nearly eli#inated( /ithout replace#ent activities" it6s easy to accu#ulate a lot o$ excess body energy( And in the right #ental environ#ent those energies easily trans$or# into higher anxiety levels( This pheno#enon #akes exercise one o$ the best %ays to initially #anage anxiety issues(
18<
?xperi#ent %ith cardiovascular exercise" resistance training" and activities like =ogging or bicycling to $ind %hich %orks best $or you( The right activity can %ork %onders in enhancing your overall #ental and e#otional state by releasing accu#ulated body energy" reducing stress levels and irritability" and producing endorphins that relax both the body and #ind( Think about ho% easily children $all asleep at night" and then note ho% #uch physical activity they are engaged in during the day( ?xercise isn6t the only $actor %hen it co#es to overco#ing anxiety" but it can certainly play a #a=or role( Again" it is usually advisable to consult %ith a doctor be$ore #aking changes to your personal $itness progra#( 18>
A7oi/ alcohol3 ci*arettes3 an/ caffeine
.$ alcohol has helped reduce your anxiety in the past" it #ost likely =ust happened to create a so#e%hat care$ree #indset at that particular ti#e( @ou6ve probably $ound that such results cannot be relied on" as #ore o$ten the e$$ects o$ this drug actually lead to heightened anxiety levels( Fortunately" in this book you6ve learned ho% to cultivate an anxiety3$ree #entality %ith #uch greater reliability( As $or nicotine and ca$$eine" these are both %ell kno%n nervous syste# sti#ulants %hich increase heart rate" produce stress hor#ones" and have the potential $or shooting anxiety levels through the roo$! Take a look at the 18
ingredients in $oods you eat regularly to #ake sure ca$$eine is not present( This anxiety trigger sho%s up in #any places" including chocolate desserts &theobro#ine'" co$$ee" black and green tea" and especially cola( .$ you drink co$$ee" soda" or other ca$$einated beverages regularly" you are going to be #uch #ore prone to stress" nervousness" and general anxiety( @es" both nicotine and ca$$eine are legal drugs" but they do have a detri#ental e$$ect on health and anxiety levels( .6# not out to change your li$estyle" but i$ you6re serious about overco#ing anxiety" you o%e it to yoursel$ to at least experi#ent %ith cutting alcohol" ca$$eine and nicotine out o$ your diet te#porarily( 1;B
onclusion
Several po%er$ul ideas have been presented in this book" and you #ay %ant to revie% $ro# ti#e to ti#e to #ake sure you6re getting the #ost $ro# your Sel$ Therapy sessions( The techni+ues that you6ve learned can be truly li$e changing" especially in that they are extre#ely practical( Don6t be $rightened i$ lingering anxiety appears $ro# ti#e to ti#e" even a$ter you6ve been using these #ethods $or a%hile( .n #ost cases" you6ll be able to identi$y an episode o$ negative expectation as the cause( At other ti#es" certain sights or sounds #ight trigger e#otional #e#ories o$ anxiety( . once had an anxiety attack %hile a particular 1;1
song %as playing on the radio" and $or years &be$ore developing Sel$ Therapy' %as unco#$ortable listening to that song( The sa#e thing can happen %ith sights" s#ells" sensations" or any other #e#ory trigger( .$ so#ething si#ilar happens to you" re#e#ber to not try to suppress" avoid" or run $ro# your anxiety( Hust engage your 9sel$ listening9 skills and kno% that you can go through it by e#bracing it( /ith gro%ing con$idence in your ability to handle those episodes" along %ith your ne% anxiety resistant thoughts and behaviors" such occurrences %ill beco#e less and less co##on( @ou are learning ne+ behaviors" changing longti#e thought patterns" and 1;*
breaking strong habits so don6t be surprised i$ anxiety pops up $ro# ti#e to ti#e as you occasionally $all back on your old %ays( /elco#e the opportunity to practice your skills and rein$orce your kno%ledge that you can handle it( Tho#as Paine once %rote" 9The #ind once enlightened cannot again beco#e dark(9 No% that you have the tools to cope %ith anxiety" you no longer need to $ear it( And no% that you understand the cause o$ anxiety" you can reverse the tendency to create it( The %orst point you have been to is %here you $elt trapped in your anxious $eelings %ithout kno%ing ho% to escape the#( @ou no% have the key" and you kno% a %ay out(
1;C
-ne o$ the greatest gi$ts %e have in being hu#an is the ability to $eel e#otions( .n #y experience" true happiness co#es %hen one is able to experience the entire range o$ e#otions %ithout avoidance behavior( /hen %e can do that" even %ith anxiety" then anxiety itsel$ %ill disappear( The 9sel$ listening9 #ethod that you6ve learned is a po%er$ul tool $or experiencing any e#otion" and eli#inating the ability o$ any e#otion to over%hel# or stop you( @our general e#otional state" your relationships" your career" and all other areas o$ your li$e %ill go through cycles( As s#ooth as things see# no%" there %ill be dips( .$ you are living an active and $ull li$e" then disappoint#ent" $ailure" loss" and other such events %ill inevitably co#e( This is the nature o$ 1;7
our physical lives( @our ability to $eel the e#otions that co#e %ith such events is also the #easure o$ your ability to live $ully and eventually succeed" regardless o$ %hat your de$inition o$ success #ay be( /hen you kno% that you can handle anything" you %ill be $ree o$ $ear" $ree to live in and en=oy the present #o#ent( The depth to %hich you are able to experience the lo%s" and the height to %hich you can tolerate the highs" together %ill de$ine your spectru# o$ experience" and richness o$ li$e( ?ventually you6ll reach a point %here you kno% that each $ailure is =ust a stepping stone to your next success" each re=ection a stepping stone to your next connection" each lo% a stepping stone to your next high( And you %ill no longer 1;8
$ear these setbacks( @ou %ill $ind yoursel$ #oving #ore and #ore rapidly $ro# peak to higher peak in your li$e" %hile even appreciating the valleys in bet%een( @our assign#ent no%" and hope$ully $or everyday o$ your li$e" is to continue building your e#otional sel$3a%areness to deeper levels" to consciously produce #ore positive and e#po%ering energies" and to never stop taking action to%ard beco#ing the person you %ant to be( @ou can #ove beyond anxiety and $ear" and beco#e a person $or %hich there truly are no li#its( Thank you very #uch $or trying the Sel$ Therapy $or Anxiety techni+ue( . really hope that %hat you6ve learned in this 1;;
