WI N $20 $2000 00!! SPECIA SPE CIAL L PUZ PUZZLE ZLE PRIZE PRIZE THI THIS S ISS ISSUE UE
*
*Excludes NZ residents
100% AUSSIE 0
THE TH E
V 14, 201 $4.95 NZ $5.50
Samantha Saint is stacked to the rafters
EE G P18
O L Rack by popular demand
P10
Nutter shoot their mouths off
ont
MUD, SWEAT
I S HO DN’T N’T HAV WORN HIGH H
BEERS! Thous Thousand ands of Auss Aussie ies s dive into Deni EI
E R r a i n n r s le le e t n o r
N
e in g
ed to t e
x le le in N
ro
S A
n
ud li e
S D
A R
c uld st p t e 2 0
te
u s t e r fr fr o m
T
e
i
ack
ic in g
E 6
en i
r se se
n nu nu a l k n ee ee ss- u p i s t e
e st st
t h e r in in g o f u te te s s in in ce ce
a n ci ci e n t
a n ti
e r e c l le le d c a s li
es
en t e
r i ts a n d
it e d t o A
TU
r se se
L H
er
S ES .
b o ut 1 2 0 0 0 p eo p le a n d 3 5 0 0 u te s b a ttl e d t h e C e a t h e r to to s li l i t h e r in in to to t h e s it it e e n il il i u in in N S W A L L O W
nd
t
r ttyy l i e
N G W A R T H O G S t o th th e
u s ic o f K e it h
rba n and
roy
n es es i n st st e a d
f i
a s sa sa r - D a l ey ey . e
is e
t e c n di di t i n s
ec
e
ne
t in g it h t e
ud C R E A T U R E S O F T H E S W A M you
ig h t s a y . is c a m p t o o k t h e
tr a i n
r t e nex t
la p s
f t e ca r p a r k e ll
n ew
ly m
EF NI ELY
c s t is
r is is t
REGULARS
8 NEW
o r t un un i t y t ic s w it h a
e n e e d in
s
T ’
e
O O T L L
T E - F
U L
e
s
AS 22 YOUR URE OK 24 READERS’ ORLD26 SI CKP KPI 30 T R T Y OK33 DE OZGI RL44 SPOT HED EDI FFERENCE 32 GE UP SO 40 A HEEKYCROSS50 AUSSIS I SLANG51 PID I DO 52 YBES UCK 46 C TERN TT ERS55 HOM GI RLS70 GO AC YOURSELF 54
CONTACTUS WRITETO h e P i c t u r e, e, y dn dn e y , N S W
O
ox 52 01
20 00
EMAIL i c t u r e
a u er e r - m e d ia . c
CALL 0 2 ) 9 2 8 8 9 6 8 6 a c eb eb o o k co m / p ic ict u r e T h e ic t u r e Cover p hot hoto o
ung o
o l ly ly R a n da da l l
a g a z i ne ne
au
! t n i
w
n he
D a r k X
W
E TH
U
HT
e r eh eh o l e s t o f t h e h o l y ,h ec r e a mo f t h e Ch r i s t a nc r o p , t h e
B AS H E R S
u tt oh e B IB LE e p e
s ie v e nf t h e
w h o w
d e p e n d e do n
e l h eo v e lS a ma n t h aS a i n t h a s p r o v e d u s
o n g . V ER
Ha in g o m
h e2 9 e ao lS TU h e
n g
e mp h i Te n n e s s e e , Ao n l y g o t i n t
o r lo f p r o f e s s i o n a l r o o t n g
o ss h eg o t b oe do n ed a y a n d o n d e r e d h a t i t wo u lb ek e
g e t
B O N E I
o u ls a y c u ro s ig o t m ” PO N D ERE
n t
e c
c h a mp i o n . “ I a la y o v e d o d e ln g , b e i n g
o n t o f t h ec a me ra n dh e
g l a mo u ro f i t a l . B u t
d iI k n o
o t mo r u n h e no ua d d n u d
a n ds e xn t h e
A lot say .
r e un d any
t e J IZ Z
r us, t
x ,
e
ust
e ir d ex p e r ie nce s i n
Z so f a r ?
Id i s c e n eh a t r e q u i e d a k e a s sv eo a d so f f a k ec u ma l o v e r me . Th eo n c o co n a s wa t e r
HOLY MOTHER OF GOD!
Ne wT and flour mixed in a consistency to resemble cum. I was covered all over – eyes, ears, m outh, hair, everywhere!” Righ t.Sou nd s,um ,de liciou s. How abou t the SEX IEST thing you’ve d one ?
One that com es to m ind is the gloryhole- blowbang scene I did in
a ma nh aa i n ts o mp l e t e l cked . I love sucking cock. It really turns me on challenging myself to take as much of it as I can down my throat. And not being able to tell who was on the side of the wall other than by guessing the dick was an incredible experience.” We b et it w asn ’t too sh ab by for the blok es o n the othe r side either.How do yo u p ass the tim e w he n yo u’re no t slurp ing m ystery m an-m eatthrough h oles in w alls?
When I’ m not w or king and am at home with free time on my hands you can find me in the kitchen. It’ s my sanctuar y. I love cooking, hosting and entertaining for m y friends.” Atta g irl.G ive u s a d ate an d w e’ll be th ere .We ’ll brin g a bo ttle of w ine .OK,a g oon bag .
l
e
s uc k i n c c
t he c k
“Curiosity gotm e into porn”
Believe it or not, this shit happened!
Flash
IJUST O FORTHE PRESSI ES
AR R
y m a l A , e p o c s l a r t s u A
E
ATTH ageof92 he os tmaredbl oke ger ec ko nshe’ga GOAGAI oh am edBel bubakar ,fom heow ofBda, has ared107 omen,di vor ced10of‘ em andal lupat her ed185 ugrat s.unn fhe’gotaSHED,butyou’ eckon he’ uckenneedone.“WhatIamdoi ng di vi ne.I ti anassgnmentandIw lkeepdoi ngtun lt heend, oh am ed ec ko ns Godha as ke do houghtwe’beterchec onhat ,butt he awant nwec
E
K
EW N
S ULL
UC
L OSRo d r i g u ezh a so n eo fh emo s t r e c o g ns a b l emu gs h osi h i s t o r y .t e ntv i r a l e n ewa sar r e s t e dn2 01 0, a ndh esjs t b e enb us t e da g an o ra r s o na n da te mp t e d u r d era fe rs e tn g r et oama tr e s si nanap ar te ntb ud i n gnMa m. T hec o psh a ot r o u epc k ig m pa sh eso ygo th a l f ask ul a fe rl o s i ac hu nkofh i sno gg i nnac a ra c c i d en t .a t e– r ywe a r i n gaha t
A
PAT R L
SEPP opGl enn ooar oul dh s efc hc ke do f f ef o r c e o rt h ec r eof V IG h i . eadi nghomeafer sn ts h tn e t h l e he m e nn s y l v a n i a ,e nnwa ss p oe d “ wa v i n gi ta r o u n d”b yawo ma ni at r u c kne x tt oh . S her e po r t e d , a nd h enc o p sr o n t e du p s th er s td d e no we du p, c l a in gt a s n o rS E YF , b utu s tok ee p hi sel fawakeon hed vehom a fe ral o ngng h. ds o a st ehed i dttnas up er ma r k e c a r p ar ktowe ek sea r le r . e ’ sb e e nc h a r g e dw ht c o u nso fi n de c e nte x po s ur e .
I EATI TL TOWEDM ONEY
S T O P F U CK E N P R E S S I’VE GOT H A LF A MIN D TO SUE R eal ,mat bl ackf ace? T hat’ aci st
AM TEURSAN THIS bloke in Tucson,Arizona,m ust’ve been practising for Chrissy w hen he gotstuck in his ow n chim ney the other day.A neighbou r heard w eird noises seem ingly com ing from the chim ney,and – noting thatitw as a bit early for the big bloke in red – called the cops.They found the 26-year-old m an stuck w ith his feetdan gling into the fireplace,w here he’d been stuck for FOUR FUCK EN HOURS! After firies had hauled him outw ith a rope,he told them he’d locked him selfoutand thought– pretty stupidly,really – he’d go in via the SOOTY WAY.
O F F H I S H E
D !
SHARKY UGS YOU know how greatw hites cruise the ocean alone and neverhave any realm ates? Well,this big noah off the coastofMexico decided enou gh w as enough an d shoved its w ay into a her e’ bazooka he ou nee one
shark diving cage for a CUDDLE w ith the bloke inside.Itthrashed around a bit,and w hen itdidn’tgetthe deep em otionalconnection itw as looking for,jum ped out and FUCK ED OFF.
EDPU A B RAZILIAN tattooistis in trouble for tatting his dog’s FACE.When Em erson Dam asceno posted picsonline the DOG SHIT really hitthe fan.Anim alcruelty folks got on his case so hard he changed his nam e and deleted his Facebook account.Bu tbefore he did he said he’d tatted the pink bits on the m utt’s ears and nose and around its eyes,notto m ake itlook tough – as ifbull-terriers need THAT – b ut as a w ay ofstopping itgetting skin cancer.
y l t n e r p a p a , o o t s r u o y d n a – d l r o w r u o s k c o r e h S
YOU A K D ORH R!
ƒ HEA DS, C H RLEIGH
LD
U B
P E U C I U
10
0 F 4 M 0 I E O
H O E E T H E W
H E
E E
E E N
E E
Ua s k edf o rh e r–y o uv eg o h er v e rs i n c eü b e r s p u n h a r l o tea pp e a r e da sHo m o fh e e e kn#1 4 1 5 ,e ’ v e b ee ni n un da t e dw r e q ue s t st ob r i n ge rb a c k eade rPet er ar dywasBE onFacebook:“Pl easepl easePLE SE y o un ee d odoa no t h erp h oo s h o o to f h a r l o te o m u r l e i g h e a d s o m o fh e e e k 1 4 15 ) .h ess ip l yt h e c l o s e s to ma ni ny o urg r e a t a gIv e s ee nt op e r f e c t i o n h ieHe r b i ef r o m o la r o ynNS W r o t et oMu ng o :“ Iu s ta nn a o mn aeCh ar l o teasho te s te v e 1
E H T D E V ” ! O E L I “ R I E N C E P E X
Aussie H ome Gir l…She s a doll! I can’ t stop thinking about her!” E ven Mungo, the seen- it-all, man-of the-world that he is, L OST HIS SH IT over the 22- year-old blonde, replying I’ m kinda blown aw ay by her m yself. It’ s unanimous, then – Charlotte s a mega-hottie, and needs to be E XPO SE D to the world. The good news is, we ve got a shitload more pics of her, and here they bloody well are! The BA D new s ther e’ s always fucken bad n ews, eh) is, w e dunno how many m ore times she’ ll be in the mag. We got hold of her just before she buggered off overseas for a bit of backpacker ry fun, and h ere’ s w hat she had to say: I’ m really flatter ed by all the complim ents! I didn’ t set out to be a model, I just did the photos as a sort of bucket-list thing, and for a bit of extra cash while I’ m studying. Althou gh I enjoyed it, I w asn’ t anticipating doing any m ore, but after all this attention I’ m not so sure. I loved the exper ience, so you ll probably be hearing from me when I get back from my trip.” Garn – PR OMISE !
It s a definite maybe. That’ s all I can say.” Sounds like a goer to us. Watch this space, readers!
I v ia tr t
t m
o fI c o u lu s a n d a v i v i
t a f e r s e r o u y e
k i
f h a c k .
e yr e a l yd o–a n dw ESSE Jane doesitevery day. Miley Cyrus does it during interviews and Gwyne th Paltrow likes to do it with a 24 karat gold dildo and organic lube. Whether they call it flickin g the bean, smacking the pony, looking f or squirr els, diddling Miss D aisy or dialling ‘ O on the little pink ele phone, these days wanking is just as popular s always been for B L O K E S . for CH C ICK S as it’ ep, these areCRA ZY TIMES, rea ers! H ere are a few famous DAM E S H O D ID DL E :
E M
E
L
Eva L ongoria is such a fan of JILL IN G O F F , she even gets her mates involved. I didn t begin enjoying sex until I s tarted masturbating , she says. It’ s a sham e I didn t discover it sooner. I bought m y first vibr ator thr ee years ago. N ow I give vibrator s to all my girlfr iends. The best gift I can give them is an orgasm.”
Meditate, medicate, masturbate is kind of my thing.”
Gwyneth Paltrow When w acky Gw yneth Paltrow gets dow n to B UTTERING HER MOVIESTAR MUFFIN she does itin style w ith a $15,000,24- karatgold- plated dildo called the Lilo Inez.Allgreased up ,as you’d expect,w ith HO MEMADE ORGANIC LUB E.
E L E I
I asturbate m to amateur porn. I guess cos I do porn I don’ t like to watchpeopleI kno w having sex.” I L E T
R
E
Gyllenhaal After starring in Hysteria ,a m ovie about the inven tion ofthe firstvibrator, Maggie G yllenh aalw as senta shitload of free buzzy bu ddies.“So no w I h ave this incredible vibrator collection ,” she reckons.“I actually use one ortw o of them .I lend the others to m y friends.”
Miley Cyrus Miley Cyrus stripped offand TICKLE D THE TACO for a reporter from Interview m agazine on FaceTim e in 2015.Noice! B ut itshou ldn ’t have com e as a shock from the babe w ho once posted a p icture ofherselfw ith her han d dow n her pants and the caption:“A m asturbate a d ay keeps the haters aw ay.”
I like masturbating to girls. Also Hentai, the Japanese cartoons. I think that stuff s really hot.
i
n
* R u g g e d S t a in le s s s t e e l c a s e * T it a n iu m N it ri d e io n -p la t e d f o r e n d u ra n c e * P o w e re d b y a re li a b le S e ik o V D 55 m o v e m e n t * C h ro n o g ra p h s u b d ia ls w it h s t o p w a t c h f u n c t io n * G e n u in e le a t h e r b a n d * W a t e r r e s is t a n t t o 3 A T M
In c lu d e s F re e G if t b o x
Endorsed by the Defence Force Welfare Association of Australia
For q ic es t deli er , order online
www.bradford.com.au/lwf uoting promotion code: 88422 2016TheBradfordExchangeLtd.A.B.N.13003159617
Their spiritswalk in eternity. Never to grow old. Never to be diminished by the passage of time. These are livesnot wasted, but forever illuminated by our nation’ s gratitude. Now they shi ne ever brighter in the glow of the “ Lest We For get Chr onograph Watch, a fine gentl eman’ s timepiece, available onl y fr om T he Bradford E xchange and endorsed by the Defence Force Welfare Association of Australia.
503-FAN52.01
PAY NOTHING NOW
TH BRAD ORD
CHANG
PleaseRespondby28th November2016 Y ! Please reserve the
est We orget ChronographWatch for me as described in this advertisement. I understand I need pay nothing now.
A Magn ificent Achievem ent in Men’s Accessories
Contemporary style and traditional craftsmanship unite to create the ultimate tribute to our courageous diggers. Cast in stainless steel, the watch case is plated in state-of- the-art titanium nitride, a compound preferred in watch making for its durability and strength. Its copper-gold tone refl ects the light and draws the eye to the shimmering face, which reveals a digger playing The L ast Post in a dramatic silhouette. F ine striations around the face bring the rays of the Rising Sun into an elegant 21st century design. Three chronographic sub dials offer accurate time keeping and a stopwatch function, while the words “ Lest We Forget”remind you of lives and sacrifi ces that will never be forgotten. Words from the Ode are fi nely engraved on the watch case and a genuine leather band completes the watch with elegant style. Exception al Value.Satisfaction Gu aranteed.
This edition of the “ Lest We Forget Chronograph Watch”is an exceptional value for just fi ve instalments of $49. or $24 . 5, plus $1 . postage and handling, backed by our wor ld famous 120-day money back guarantee. I ssued in a limited release, the edition may sell out fast. To reserve, send no money now, just return the coupon or go online today at www.bradford.com.au lwf
Mr/Mrs/Miss/Ms ______ First Name: _______________________________ Surname: ___________________________________________________ Address: ____________________ _______________________________ _______________________________________ Postcode: ___________ Phone: ____________________________________________________ Email: ____________________________________________________
Reserve yours today. 3 easy options: 1. MAIL no stamp required, to:
TheBradford E change, Reply Paid 86369 Parramatta NS W 2124 2.PHONE Toll- ree1300725103 8am-5pmE .S .TMon – Fri
3. ONLINE at www.bradford.com.au lwf quoting promotion code:
88422
Please allow up to 10 business days for delivery. All sales subject to product availability and reservation acceptance. Credit criteria may apply. Our privacy policy is available online at www.bradford.com.au. From time to time, we may allow carefully screened companies to contact you. If you would prefer not to receive such offers, please tick this box.
UL These blokes are bloody champions! TRY STEALING IT NOW,CUNTS!
CHECK OUT THE TITS ON H E R!
er e r t e su r e s t t e r el i i u s e i e e t r i n i u e t es t i l in en c il n d s t u ce s n d s t i c t e ir n ur l e s t t e t r u ds t eir e u t ds l e r t e n d e er e e el in t n t er n d s s nd s l t e ir ce le s t i t t t l l r t e e n t u c u i t s es e t t e r ed de t d s l t l e t in n e i t s eu c r e ss t i en u nd i t i es t e de d de t e r s e t t u t t se ei s n d t is e r ee t r in in e ee n t i t t e s t i c l n u c in e u s u i n t r ec r de r s e e en ne l u s ie EE u c en l ed s u t e e n t en is t r u ds u s t le se r d t t e nd n ed t u r n e d E
E
U p W i t h T he
i ng t c ed K e e p u n i er s e as h ia ns n t e ir
K a rd
l s
si e
re t l e s t E c t e n t i n t t en u i t s in d E e n t u t i t c c u r n in s t l nd d n d dr l l t e l n d t t e en c ee s s l i t us n u r r el i i n is e n d r ec en e s ee i t de t i n t es e in u s in i in rs e l e r e de u s s r el l
DON T GET CHEEKY W IT H M E !
d o o g o r o h T s i r h C
2
H
E ’ Saqu e s to n h a tsmo r eu n a nh an gn ’o u napa dd oc kf o r heweekend a l l y ama t e sa n ds o meg r e a t o l dho t r o d sa ndbk es ? n dh ea ns we ri s–asi s o nsi n sle– TI NTHE T her a i nt h atd r o p pe do n hesevent hChoppedRodand Cust om show nNewst ead, V i c t o r i a ,a yh av es l o we d downt esont he80met d r a gr a c k , b uth ato nyma d t R oey ea l l a l l g r e a tp r e 1 9 6 5ho t r o d sa n e s a t tg e i rwa ypa s hs e p pol e g e nd sT h e v e r a n d o r t o nHe a ta t eo po fte s i cb , s h oa n d s h i n ean dt h eba r s , ta sap ar t ya nda a l fy a s s , t o uh s , b uth er e ’ swh at t h ebe a utd a o ok ed k e
21
Yo u 'r e J o k i n g N Gh e r g r a n d f a t h e r h a dd i e d ,a t e n tt oh e rg r a n d pa r e n tsh ou s et oc o mo r t h e r 9 5 y e ao l dga n d mo t h e r .h e ns h ea s k e dh o h e rg r a n dp aha dde d , h e rn a n at o l dhe r , “ Heh a d ah e a r t a t a c kwh iewewe r ema k i n go veo n u n da ymo r n i n g . o r re d ,a tet o l dh e rn a n at h a t op e o p b ohne a ry1 00ye a r so l dha v i n gs e xwo u s u r e l ybea s k gf o rt r o u “ Ohno , d e a r , ”r e p le dt h eodwo ma n . “ Ye a r a g o , efg ue do uth ebe s t et odoi ta s h e nt h ec h u r c hb eswe r er n gn g.t a sj u s th e g hth yh m, n i c ea n ds l o w. J u s tno nh ed ig ’ a n do ut o nh e‘ d o n g h ep a us e dt owp ea wa yat e a r “ He ’ ds tl b ea lv eo da yfM. h i p pyh a dn ’ t c o mea l o n g R A T GEE U
A I
G
L
A T D O Y O U A LL A N N N E N LE .NINGA LOO WA
A C RIMINAL escapes from prison after 15 years.B reaking into a house,he find s a young couple in b ed.He orders the m an out of bed and ties him to a chair. While tying the w ife to the bed ,the crim gets on top of he r,kisses h er neck,then gets up and goes into the bathroom .While he’s in the re the hu sband w hispers to his w ife:“Listen ,this guy is an escaped con vict. He’s probably spenta lot oftim e in jailand hasn’tseen a w om an in years. I saw how he kissed your neck. Ifhe w ants sex,don ’t resist,just do w hatever he tells you. Satisfy him no m atter how m uch he nauseates you. This guy is obviously very dan gerous and if he gets angry,he’llkillus both.B e strong , h oney. I love you!”
J O E OF T E
EE
N
E LLY
MT u r n b u l l a n dBl S h o re na r s in gnap u b had o g.u dd e nyabo k r a c e si nf f es t r e e,f t su p ed st a i l a n do ok sup sa r s e . “ Ex c us ee , ”s a y su r n bu l. “ Wh a t d o y out h i n ky ou ’ r ed on g? ” h eb l o kel o ok supa n de p le s , “ We l Ic o u ln ’ t b ee v ei.o me o n eu s to l dm h e r ewa sad o gnhe r ew htoa r s e h oe s” T L.EA ST ST
IL
A
SW
His w ife resp onds: “He w asn’tkissing m y neck.He w as w hispering in m y ear.He said he’s gay,he think s you’re cute,an d asked ifw e h ad any Vaseline . I told h im it w as in the bathroom .I love you too,bab e.” UC H
IA EMAI L
A SB D ndw ew ew hi ngaTV p r o g r a ma b o u tp s y c h o l o g ya n dt h ep h e n o me n o n o fmx e de mo to ns .h ehu s b a n du r n e dt oh i ea nds a i d ,“ Da r l n g,h asac op l e t el o a do f c r a p . Ib e t uc a nte l l ea n ga t a k emeh a p p ya n da da th es aet e . h ee p le d , “ O, h owa b ou tt h i s–ou to f a l y ou rfe n d s , y ouha v etebg ge s t c o c k MI R A
A
CR
Y D O EA R V IEW O EE
N SA
EN H T A N S RR RS E AT LE
T H EY S
AV E
R
IA
IC
Y D ES A D TO S EY O U E EN NG A EE E N I .P EMU L
UY
PR E ND NT H E NN ER T R E D TO TE
S
A Ya n dag il s t a re ds c h oo lo ge t h e ra n d b e c a meb e s te n d s . e r yda yt h e yaet h e u nc ho ge t h e r , a la y sc hc k e ns a n d wc h e s . h i swe n to no ry e a r s , u nl o ned a yt h ebo y n oc e dh a tt h eg il a se a t n gaha ms a n d wc h . “ Wh ya r e n ’ t y oue a tn gc h i c k e n ? ”hea s k e d . “ Il ei, t Ih aet os t ”s h es a “ Wh y ? ”a s k e dt h eb o y . h epo i n t e dt ohe ra pa nds a i d , “ Be c a u s eI s t a r tgo r o w ef e a te r sd on e r e “ Nowa y e t es e e , ”h es a i d . “ Ok a y , ”s h er e p le d , a n dp ue d ph e rs k i r el o oe da nds a i d , “ C e y , y our e a l ya r e o udbe t e rn ot e a t a n y o r ec h i c k e nh e n h ebo yc o nn ue de a tn gh i sc h i c k e n s a n d c h e su n tl o ned a yh es h oe dhsl u nc t s a n d c hoh eg il a n dt a sp e a n u tb ue r et o l dh e r , “ Lo ok slk eIh a v eos t o pe a tn g c h i c k e ns a n d wc h e sn o w, c o sIms t a rn g g r o we a t h e r sd o nt h e r eo o h ea s k e di fs h ec o udl o ok , s oh ep ue dd o w sp a nsf o rh e “ Oh ,n o”s h ee xc l a ie d .“ I t st o oa t o uv ea le a d yg ot an e c ka n dab a go fg i b l e t s”
QUOTEOFTHEWEEK A LI STA I R Y
S P.MOU NT WY A T T QL
y m a l A
A MAN w as seated on an airplane next to a stunning blonde.He looked over and saw she w as reading a b ook entitled 101 Things You Didn’tKnow About Sex . “Interesting b ook?” asked the m an. “Absolutely,” replied the w om an.“For instance,did you kn ow thatthe Native Am ericans have the longest penises and that the Irish have the thickest?” “No,I didn ’tkn ow that,” said the m an. “Say,do you m ind ifI ask your nam e?” “Sure,” said the w om an.“I’m Helen. What’s yours?” “Geronim o O’Toole.How do you do?”
L E NY N NA
NG A E E N H F
NORM MCDONALD
INE WA
E E, E E NE
G ot a grou se jok joke? e? P ost itor em ailitto Picturejoke Pict okes@ s@ bau er-m edi edia. a.com .au an d w e’llsen lsend d you $ 20 ifw e pu bl bli ish you r jape ape.PLU .PLU S Jok e of the Week g et ets s a YO OJ $ 100!
THEPRO ESSI AL
HE LOVES LOV ES A GOOD GOO D ROAST: ROAST:
NTH
GI RLRIND AKE ANTT OBEABE TTR TRPE RSO — SOI CANGE T T T E RG E N D “When ever I m eet a “When p ret re tty g irl,th rl,the e first thing I look for is in te llig e n ce; ce ; be cau cause se if if she do esn es n ’t h ave th at, at, the n she s he ’s m ine .”
Y E S TE R DA Y A C C I D E N T A L L Y TAL I T T L E TH YCAR A S NTS E R I S– NO BO DYS E
THE ES
THIS WEEK: WEEK :
HYDO HA VEHOLSI T H RD K S S OT H ERB RA I N SC A G E TS O MEO X Y G E A bl b loke ok e w alks alks int into oa shop ,goes up u p to to the the cou n ter,u er,un n zips h is pants pa nts and casua casual lly flo p s ou o u th is di d ick. ck . The w om an behind the coun ter scream scream s: “Sir,pu r,put tthat ha taw ay! This This is a resp ectab ectabl le shop sh op!! We se llclock ocks!” s!” “Yeah “Yeah ,I kn ow ,” says the bloke bloke .“I w ant you to to pu ttw ttw o hand ha nd s and an d a face on o n that. that.”
A T ’ ST HED I B E T W NADC DC KA N D BONUS? Y O URW E LA L Y S BL OW OURBONUS
NY JE E N
“Igotan em ailfr lfrom m y ex,t ex,tell elling m e that she h as AIDS.I didn ’t kn ow ho w to com fort he r,so I just w rot rote e back, b ack, ‘I kn ow .’”
GUESS WHAT I USED FOR HAIR GEL
YDADWAS A MA ZN G E DF I Y SA L L E L THOUT HE R E S TO F KNOWN W NG”
“My g irlfrien d is u p set se t abo ut he r new hai hairc rcut ut.I .I don ’t un derst derstand and w hy sh e’s cr cryi ying .I’m the one w ho has to to get a new g irlfrie n d .”
U The Th e life ofa di d ick is sad sad .Its fam ily is nu n u ts, its nei n eig g h b ou r is an arse h ole,its bes b est tfrien d is a p u ssy,an d w he n itget ge ts exci e xcited ,it throw hrow s up.
HA TDOY OU A L L T HEU S S S TOF NA T T H EED EDO FA K ? H EA N A m an goes go es to his doctor doct or to have som e odd grow ths on his dick checked out.The doc exam ines him and says,“I says,“I’ ’ve got new ne w s for you.Turns you.Turns ou tyou h ave five cocks co cks.Ho .How w do you r pan ts fit?” “Like a g love,” says the the m an. an .
HA TDOY OUCAL LAWOMAN H OO V E SS MA L LD I C KS ? Y OR OR 23
Readers Reader s ' World World A
A E, AN ONE
T ST ST I C K ,
o rk -re le a s e wo O ur w le t t e rs e d it o r
Sendy dyourwor ds, pi cs HATEVER ungo tRe de or THEP EPI CTURE,GP Box yd ey, W 2001, rema mai l ebg bg el atmu mungo@b @ bauer edi a. com au
N O S ON T TTE
U CA CALL E SIR L I
AINT--BAL AINT BALLLING
https://twitter.com/ThePictureMungo
O LD T BE I RE CK ON homie asmineAnnin 1416 lookslike like aty Perry, if aty wasoneof thosealternative tivechickswith ckswithhe heapsof tatts and piercings. I haveth vethehornfor rnfor aty Perry
O ,
always always wanted.
24
O V E A L E,
IC
M NGOS AYS AYS Yeah, I’ve seen seen Pricas Pricasso so’s ’s wo work,andwh rk,andwhileI ileI don t kno know a lot lot about art I reckon i s O considerin ring the guy paints wit withhi hhis s dick.ButI ut I doreckon reckon I’d I’d feel feel like a bit bit ofa of a dic dickhea khead posing posing for a portr portrait ait while a bloke blokedi dipshis pshis cock in paint and sl slaps aps it around around a canva anvas.A s. A bit bit kink kinky y for for me,an e, and dI reckon reckonit it must ust sting his J ap’s shocking.
N U R Y , W A
M NGO AYS air call.Y all. Y know what, though, we for a haven haven’t ’t seen seen K aty for wh while, ile, so howdow e know she hasn’t moved o Ad Adelaid laide e, changed her name, name, got heapso heapsof bod mods mods andstarted nude modelli modelling ng now now that her music career has tanked tanked? ? J ust a thou though ght… t…
A
M NGO AYS Cheers heers yourself, yourself, you you smooth-tal smooth-talking king devil. devil. Mate, Mate, I take it as it comes. comes. Pink and perky, dark dark and dangl dangly, it’s all ne by by me. My attitudeis, if a sheila’s nice enough to invite me to have a geek at her nunga, nunga, I’m I’m not gunna b be e picky. Chri Christ, st, look look at what we’re we’re packing down down there – it’s butcher’s butcher’s shop windo window w material. material . I consider consider myself fuc fucken lucky if they wanna mess mess with it at all. al l.
That’s right, I’m I’m tweeting me hear t out for the people. N one of that what-I-had what-I-had -for-brek y or I- ust-d ust-done-aone-a-bigbig-poo poo stuff, stu ff, ust my usua usuall class lassyy shi shit. t. It’ It’ss at:
L . .,
IL D FO R D ,
ATTAC K OF TH E
CLONES
U N
WANTS TO
NOW...
ow ucke ad hatp ho ant st oi por thosep epump mpa c ns h e s a t ’ ds t o p c ha r g gr h i , e es t i lc a e ga lyb ya t fs m k on county, orapornoD Danywh wher but Torhe T?Ihaven’ tseen anychar gi ng hi nosar ound oi ntor uckenM TH
L ET E T TE TE R O F T E
EE
WINS
FRIDGEY-DIDGE!
EVERY EV ERY LETTER PRIN PRI N
R WITH A PIC PICT TURE
WIN INS S $5 $5
INS IN S $1 $ 100
$200 This we ek’ ek’ss ques tion: Which famous Aussie do you reckon reads The Picture mag? Editor Jam e s C oo ne y Nick Cummins e ni ni or or w r i te te r Roger Crosthwaite Nicole Kidman r it it er er T h o m a s O a k l e y -N -N e w e l l Julian Assange Editorial coordinator Em il y Ra t t e nb u ry Thorpey Ar t di r ect or Tony Ha lpin David Boon hoto edito editorr B o n n ie ie W e i g an an d Warney Nati Na tiona onall S ale aless an anag ager er Pa t Ca m pb el l (02)9282 ( 02)9282 8369
Beer fridge sorted... now where whe re s the the food go?
s e l fa le a dy . T A . OYWO W OY NS N O : a t e, m p r o u d o f y a . u r e a n en en v i r o n e n t a l w a r r i o r n y t h i ng ng e c n d o t o r i n g u ni ni c r n s a c k f r o m t e r in i n k f e x t i n ct i n i s rt i t , n d i f t e t h e r r es e s ul ul t i s r e p iz z n d e er er a t t h e p e r fe f e ct ct t e erature e ’r ’r e a l l w i n ne ne r s, s, e h
pcampbell bauer-media.com.au
N at at io io na na l G r o a le le s a na na ge ge r Brigitte tte Guerin e n’ n’ s L if if es es t y l e i v is is i o nBrigi l isis h e r, r, S e ci ci al al isis t i v is is i o n Co rn el ia Sch ul ze As ociate
lis her , ecialis t iv is ion Ewe n Pa ge i r ec ect or or o f M e di di a S o l t io io n SimonDavies e ne ne r al al M a na nag er er , M ar k e titi ng ng NatalieBet tini
i r c l at at io io n S t r at at eg eg y
a na na ge ge r Pa ul W ea ving
e s e a r ch ch D i r ec ect or or Jus ti n St on e o
e rc rc al M anage r LucilleCharles e s i gn gn er er i n C h ie ie f TonyHalpin e ne ne r al al M a na nag er er
l ic ic A f fa fa irir s
e di di a, a,
B r an an d E v e n t s DeborahThomas
roduction roductio n ont ontrolle rollerr Jam es Co on ey hiefExecutiv hi efExecutiv e Of Offic ficer er Nick Chan
Check out these dopplehangers
l isis h ed ed b y B a e r e d a G r o u p ABN 18 053 273 546, 546, 54-58 54-58 Par k St re et , Sydn ey, N SW 2000.© 2015.All rig ht s re se rve d.Th e tr ad em ar k TH E PICT PI CT U RE is t he p ro pe rt y of Ba ue r Co ns um er M ed ia Limited and is used under licence. r in int e d b y P r in in t P t y L td td ABN 76 051 706 706 499, 499, 31-37 Hea th cot e Rd, M oorebank, NSW 21 2170 70..
YEE-HA! a n ds h ea sde a dn ge r sfrD y a r t sts . ea la la y swa ne dos e eteo e rDo l lst ls
ead offic officee Level 11, 54 54 Park St St reet, Sydney.Postal Sydney.Postal address: GP O B ox 5201, Sydn ey, N SW 2001.Phon e (02)9288 (02)9288 9686.Fax (02)9288 9151.M el bo ur ne :102:102-108 108 Toor ak Road, Sout h Yarra, Vic 3141. 3141.Phone Phone (03)9823 6333.Fax (03)9823 6300. Em ail p ict ur e@ ba ue r-me dia .co m .au . Distribute d by Network Services, 54 Park Street , Sydney, NSW 200 2000. 0. Ph on e (02)9282 (02)9282 8777.* 8777.*Re Re co m m en de d re ta il pr ice .
M. R .MOU
N e, ut
SA YS :The
f uc uc e n
eaut,
e m u t, t,
QLD
l o o k l ik e d o u b l e E s t
r d to to t el el l f r o m
e h a n d s - o n to to
T I SA
T H E P I C T U E ac acce p t s n o r e s p o ns ns i b i lili tyty f or or l os os s o r da age age of freelanc freelancee contribu contribu tio tions. ns.
a
i c t ur ur e . I n ee ee d t
r e a cc cc u r a t e . l l te t e ll ll y a t h
ey a r e
t f r no th in
ISS N 1033-3258
T hs i to r s o r y
! N I A G A N O T
n g l h i t o u l N . n t i n a b u r i e k h c d p a e , b u t w d o u t y o o u l h m e s f a l l d i h e g a o n e r e e a p u b t a o P t e n t e s n r o u s n d r u o b v i a n J o o r n a m e r o m w h e i a u e J r r n t y f n e t e t t a t r e n n g i k o r e i g h e t i c r p f l e l o e l r l b s u o u m s i b e ’ a b p a t e ’ f o r d i s t c h ’ t y e y e o n i r a t H I N K b l k e , h e e m p t c P i e i T o y r k e e E c e h e s s T W h e e s a m d r o r ’ n h i a c h f e d ‘ e L a M i k e i n s t t i h t , y o u i h n a m i o o t n k m p a g a i g c n o a u a t b o k s s O m g y o r s d n s i L ’ n a s n h i L n e e r a e U a r y , p B g o l 4 3 v e i l g a v e d o n J u i h e S t w h e n h t a l f u a n , M A N O O N k g b u l t b J p . e a w t y h m t s e o a r a s t r t n g c o a s g o i s t d e 6 3 5 R R O s t w e a h h t n t t a e n g s e e n . e u p n s , w a J u n s i T O o u l n h d d Y w e , E v n O o i y c s h o r u ’ ’ a t s a e s u r g e o u l v e h e T r o b a b l y r e a s o z a , S p a e n t h l w h h , y o p t g o n r b a a t T e t , a k o I . r 1 c o . n a 1 e p e r r Z c a a h e n g . n 2 0 t s h o r e . N o i v i t i . W e t h i a t a l t h e r i E N T E D o J u a n , m f h u r t s e o w i e a g k o i t r s l y D v e r . S m e t l e g b e e i u d e e a d b a c k t p r o b a b f r t g o o d n a t n i o r u s h o i p o u c k t h a e d h i t w i e s , s g y o u r l t s a r t a w d l e n p s n u m p b a c k i e c a p e a h e y i t a n i t t h e t k e e n g u p t s o m a c a n ’ a , h , y l l i S t d r u n o o g h a d a
E TE
AY
2 0 16
LASH ACK
2 0 11
NOTTHE FACE!
E D ! R O G G O O D
H O W L O N G Y O U B E E N W O R K IN G
Heath & sparkies
O N T H E S H E D ,J O S H ? “ I
WHO:
b e e n
o r k p r o g r e s so rh ep a s t f o u ry e a r s . I
n ea n d
a n d
b u sn e sp a rn e r He a t h s ,
o u t t h eb a c k o f m
u m
p l a c e .
W H ƒ T ƒ R E S O M E O F Y O U R Fƒ V E
WHERE:
Bendigo, VIC
F E ƒ T U R E S ? “ Th eb a r a c t u a la no l c o u n t e r fo m
e n d i g ob a n k . I g r a b b e d
h e nh eb a n k a s g e tn g h eb u i d e r
e f u ra n d
e rg u n nc h u c k. Is a i
o t ac h a n c e ’ a n do o kt f o rh es h e d .
BEW DY!WH ƒT HƒVE Yƒ GOT
uttng thos sparkysk sto gooduse
B E H IN D T H E B ƒ R ? “ We ’ g o t a c o m e r c i a l b e e r s e tu p e i h e r Ca ro n a n dh eo t h e
a p s ; o n e
a u g h t o r Ca ro n c i d e ro r s p i r i t l k e
Ca n a d i a nC u ba n d d r
W H ƒ T E L S E IS T O P S ƒ B O U T Y O U R “ W u s e d6 0p a l e t
SHED? o o f w
b e r . I
n eh e
g o t ab i t o f as a g
n o w, b u tt s tl l o o k sg o o d . We ’ v eg o t 1 8 0 0 c e in g g hs . We ’ v ea l s og o t a b o u t 2 0 d ie r e n t o lb o e sr o ma l l o v e rh e p l a ca n da no lo n e a re db a n d i p o k
a c h i n e .
H ƒ D ƒ N Y R IP P E R P ƒ R T IE S IN T H E R E R E C E N T LY ? “ AF LG rn d F i n a d a y ia la y
b io n e . Th i e a r w h a d
a b o u t 1 0 0p e o p lu ru p g a me .
a t c hh e
e n t t h r o u g ha b o u t f o u r a n d
h a l f k e g s .
WHY DO YOU LOVE YOUR SHED? I
g o o dp l a c
g e t a w a y o m h e
s s u s .
ƒ I N ’T T H ƒ T T H E T R U T H !
rive thru, h ? We ll be rou nd in a tic
See m ore at AUSSIE MAN CAVES on Facebook
T U R T L E N E C K I
E
l g o t m
b ea r e v e r s e e
o r e sn , wh i c he e
y o u a t c h p o r n . I v eo n l c o u p lo f bo k e
n g r y ? b a c k
y o u
h o o d i
o u t w e t fo m o me t h i n gu r n i n g y oo n h a t d o e
o o k h e n
e v e a l t h eh e a dT h a t a
C
o u
h eo r e s k i
ST
s t
eteg
b i c h y , b o r d e r l u n s t d r a m q u e e n . A p ee c e l a t o n s h i o r
o u
c os i s t oy e n g , c u r s i
a n dn c r e d i b l a k e u pe xo n e q u a r
h ea s t t
I
h a t I v eo s t ae sc l e . I
maemef A L I VE
ea
h o d oI g e t ag i l l k e
Tr n
e i h a v i n go n eb a l l i I
IL
TR IN ITY SAY S: D u d e , I’m al l fo r t h e h e a d c as e s , t h e B A TS H IT c r azie s , t h e w il d o n e s e t c .B u t yo u l os t m e w h en yo u g ot t o t h e c h e at inn g p ar t – l oya lt y is e v e r y t h i n g ! Y o u s o u n d l k e yo u’ve g ot enou gh cr azy in you t o t ur n a g r l c razy. T he r e a r e e n o ug h b a s i c l o o n ie s o u t there already.
I ES T HE A CKT O V E A L T H E A D
e w
I
o e s n ’ t h u r t a t a, a n dI v eh a d n o
u b l a n k i n go r p i n g . o u lt h a v e g o n e N
R F
S
RINITY SAYS: H aha! In m y t w e l ve y e ar s w r i t i n g t h i s c ol u m n t h i s i s c e r t a i n l y a r s t ! It ’s c a l l e d r e t r a c t i l e t esticle and it can is a p p e a r w i t h o u t p a i n n t o t h e a bd o m e n or g rroin are a.It’s usu all y n o t a p r ob l e m an d w il l r e a pppear but if you’re w o r r ed it’s always wise t o s ee yo u r G .P .
I
J U S T P HOTOS?
U ST
u t t h a t a g i l I
e m n e yo u b l e s . Sh eh a
r rn t s I
t y f sme
30
NT NSW
s ne M n d a
e . Th a t r e a
E
PO
h r e e -u ae ro fh e
,
E
B A L L I N’ O U T
E
o mb en g
RIN ITY SA YS : O f c o u r s e t h e r e ’s i e r e n t l e vels , mat e.It’s a sim ilar p r in c ip l e t o a cock ;you’ve g ot s e m , h ar d a n d r o c k h a r d .A n d o r a p us s y, the re’s moist , wet a n d d r i p pi n g .H e l l y e a h ! T h a t p u s s y u c e c a n d r o p d ow n o u r t h g h s an d m a k e b i g w e t p a t c h e s in o ur p an t i e s .W e g e t w h a t ’s cal le d an n y g al l op;w h e n o u r ap s an d c l i t p u l s a t e a n d t h r o b ’co s w e s o horny.
a n t ab a d , n a u g h t y , c a z y , wd ,
B L E F IN
h e ih i g h s ? l g e t
a r o u s e o r T H IR S T Y , D A W
T R
e t t h a t i
u lo nb o n e ra rh e ra n yh r o b bn g
U P
T C
o fh e
r i c k d o w
o r mu s c lp a
TR IN ITY SA YS : Id on ’t g ive a s h it if it ’s c u t o r n ot , a s l on g a s i t ’s h a rd a n d i t w or k s ! Il ove s l id in g t he or es kin b ac t o r e v e a l t h at b i g p i n k shiny head.I’m n o t f u ss e d e i t he r w a y, t h ou g h .
AL
e r e n t
h r o b bn gs e n s o n h eI v e g o t
c o v en g o s t o fh eh e NJ I
h ik s au a lb e
s t a r t
eb a so f. Od o a k et t h i c k e r a r o u n h
P .,
e e l e ,
e p e n dn go no wu r n eo ny o u e ?
n t t o r e s k ip u
y o u a n t i t h o o d io n ,
a b o u t wh a t h a p p e n n s h e nc h i c k s g e t we t
a nu n c i c u mc i s ep e n i
ONE
g g l n g
a k e e n d
t t h a t io r d e r t b e e
e e
a k e
e sa g i n ga no l d e r
100 uncensoredse advicefromAustralia’s hotteststripper!
picturem ag azine
IT
T
INIT Y
The PictureMun go w w w .p icturem ag .co m
TH A
f el la a n d sendi ng ey a l so
im
s
e l in er i e
i n sc
l a nd I a m
en a g e i v es
i th t e
er m
uy
uy f o r m
et
er k i d i s
e d esn’ t
si ca l l y b ut en t ey
el p
ut t e
i le
rk. S
et t
e et er
er o u t, a t l e st , t h t’ s
s e ex p l a i n s i t.
t e ab
at w
ney
f o r l un ch to w
t s
eet e er y o t er w eek to
dr in k s a r o un d l unch ti m e
S TR I
ney
e is
si c l ly usi n
ut I feel a b i t
let in .
r ri ed
ul d I b e
C O N C ER N ED , C A L O U N D RA Q L D
TRINITY SAYS: Why wasn’t she forthcoming with that information originally? Personally I wouldn’t be all that worried about it, if you have no reason to doubt her. Trust is everything, mate. She’s only giving an old lonely dude some company. If you have trust, don’t think twice about it. Over thinking is your worst enemy!
T
is uncir cu
cised a nd
s
R N Y’S
s es it, b ut it st ill
el l s l i k e s i t f ter. W e b e en t
et er 3
s st now ut
ed
e r i ng under w e r to
t e s eets s etter w i t
el l
nd e s
ed n d
s it
ill ir
ut under w e r. I d n ’t
n
s ap
r g o to a d ct r b ec use
i t’ l l
ea
l i fe
e
ste
f ti m e.
s ’ c s I g et
nd t en
e
ets
ne
ad.
e r ec
i s f f ects
ns u r sex
i ff a n d I ’ m ts
Don’t ever think you can’t do something. After years of v igorous effort and no luck I thought I’d never be able to squirt, but a few months ago a very experienced gentleman turned me into Niagara Falls. Now my apartment is a constant wet and wild water park! Don’ t giv e up on your dreams ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE!
d ne
ul d I d
ny yo u
G RO SSED O U T, V IA EM A IL
TRINITY SAYS: What the FUCKING FUCK! DEMAND HE GET CHECKED! That is not okay, it’s sel sh and I wouldn’t go near it until he got it checked simple! Stand your ground or drag his arse to the doctor. DO NOT touch him until he goes.
O ER F I S I T tr ue t a t a l l c i c s a p a r t f r m
l ez z
s
tt? A nd a r e t er e a n y
l iti ci a ns
a nna r o o t
R .H ., C A S T L E C R A G N S W
TRINITY SAYS: Donald trump is not a powerful man, he’s a FUCKING douche and I would never go there, not even for 10million dollars. I hope he gets beaten. Yes powerful/ influential men can be attractive but there are still standards. And no politicians float my boat whatsoever yuck!
AIS E T E BA
ne r t e t er, ul d u av e to do
lint n
r
ne
ith
a l c lm
T
urn ull a nd
u se i n a
e u ti f ul a r e , f a n cy c a r , i g
inc
e, interesting s cia l circle nd fun
l if est l e. i th
y f r ien d
s tr y i ng to set
eu
i s f r iend y ester d y – a decent l
in
nd s e d esn’t e en seem interested in m e I g uess s e s
l di ng
ut f o r s
e ne
o is
ay
en
it
n
e a n d sa y I w a s
y a r e l a di es so del usi o n a l n
r e us aday s
M O , G RE EN A C RE N SW
TRINITY SAYS: Wow. Read your own question. That s why she wasn t keen on you. Who are you to judge anyone ’ cos of where they live or if they have a kid or fancy car or whatever. How bout you try pulling your head in and not judging, mate you’ll do much better.
T R I N I T Y W A N T S T O H E A R F R O M Y OU !
Do you have a q uestion only a S PE RT like Trinity can answer? Do you want some advice on women in general? Or do you just want to ask about her X -rated sex life? YE AH? Then write to Talking Dirty With Trinity, c o THE PICTU RE , GPO Box 5201, S ydney, NS W 2000, or send an email to trinity@ bauer-media.com.au. he’s waiting!
31
a SOOK! TH E MAN EE S PA A L
WHO: SEPPOCOLL EGEFOOT PLAY ER CHRIGARRI SON
WHERE: ALUM ST ADI UM ASSACHUSET TSUSA
WHƒT: SNAPPEDHILEGLI KE READSTI CK
O U C H Fƒ C T O R
97
%
EVEN TH CETHI CK PAIOFFOOT SOCKS ON THI BOU TO STI BI
E K T ƒ
s e
t t e
ƒ
! K ƒ E B R
STONColege a ge so oypa y e r i sGa r r i s o nsa b i gu nt–19 0 c m 107kgbi g–sowhen a nd edon sl e f te ga fe r a t c h iga a ss , ea c tta t h eb i gbo nei nh eo we rb i a pp edn a l f s ho ud n u r p r i s ea ny o n e T heg a ea ga i n s th e a t v e r s iyo fe wY o r kB h eN ADv i s i o n1wa s e mp or a r i yh ae d h iet h e s k edCh r i si f h e a ne dh e a g i cs p o n ge , o r a y b ea a na i, b ute v e a lyi ta s e c ie de ’ de t t e rgoofo ra t of a ed on . r i si sw a tte yc al d er e c e i v e r ,h i c hsno t , a s
efr s to ug h, s o meso r to f TR , b uta c t u a yo neo h ek eyg uy so nt h ee a m, r e a l a s ta n dh a, s oh ea ge sa r e g un nams sh i m h ieh eso u t l r e p or t ss ayhe ’ s“ i ng oo d s pr is ”a nd“ d o ggr e a”b u e ’ di a g i n eh edb eab V EDa t s s i n gh er e s t o fh es e a s on . e l, r i s , ko fw a t sw lof o ry orX bo x s ks . tev er yc ar e f u l andd on’ tBUSTYATH BS rn u o w, y o ur eab i gbo ke , a ndwer e s pe c t a t , b uts ic e y o ur el y ig a to ny o urb ac k na no t h ec o un t r y , eh i n k ec ans af elsa… ETU YAS OOK
Pin - u p
Sarikas one of discoveries
WE ALL GO TO BED TOGETHER FOR WILD LESBIAN SEX”
Y
A GO TT A hand see w hat that’ d be due to. N o it to L atvia – for mys tery there. Sh e happens to be real good a little joint of barely 2 million at g etting her picture taken people, they’ re while she plays with her perfect C-cup tittays and moist little punching well above their weight in the MOO TE TTE , all the time giving production of WORL D CLA SS the camera that inviting, wideeyed Wouldn t you lik e to stick SPUNKS. Tucked way up there between your big, hard dick in widdle ol Russia and S candinavia, when me? look . A yway, n the L atvian s ar en’ t p laying icethe best we could hockey they go uietly about do y b way of an inter view was the business of raising herds toem ail Sarika some general uestions, which she got real of blonde, blue- eyed hotties. We’ ve s how ed you plenty uick, owing to L atvia having befor e – c’ mon, you r em em ber ! am ong the wor ld’ s fastest inter net speeds. – but w e can’ t r ecall one quite so KN OB- PL E ASING as 25-year-old In fact, we ascribe L atvia’ s Sarika, whose glorious bod you enviable environmental record toth eir speedy internet, cos are drooling over right now. Sh e’ s been a big hit all over ever yone ther e is alw ays too E urope due to…well, you can bus inside downloading horn
A P K U I 1 N R 4 I 1 P A S #
photos of Sarika to go outside and smash into reindeer on their snow-mobiles. Her answers were enough to make us choke on our morning rum and cocoa. C heck this out:
bother because I have many beautiful girlfriends who ar e also models. Sometimes three or four of us will drink a bunch of champagne and all go to bed together for w ild lesbian sex.”
Sarika,how are you? How is
Ev er b ee n to Au stralia?
My fav our ite thing to do I love a handsom e m an w ith with another girl is to . I lov e a very big penis, but also I love to eat pussy while mine is being to have lots of sex with other licked at the sam e time!” Any thou ghts on the u pcom ing hot women.” the w eathe r over the re?
Seen any g ood m ovies lately?
I don t have a boyfrien d because I travel so m uch, so I often pick up hunks for wild sexual nights, and then never see them again.” Do you know m uch about crick et?
If I can t find a man , it s no
US election ?
B ut I als o m ust have som e good fucking from a nice hard cock often, otherwise I would go crazy!” A nd so it wen t. We kinda wish she w ould’ ve stuck t o the script, but h ey, she’ s L atvian. Waddya gunna do?
I LOVE TO EAT PUSSY WHILE MINE IS BEING LICKED”
t s u j e e B e n i c u L i t t e g s p e r e k e i t h g u a n
r
n t s
L
ONG- tim e friend of THE PICTURE Lucie B ee is a Sydney porn star,sex w orker and generalallround great gal. She’s also a horny little m inx w ho’s alw ays up to som e sortof m ischief,so w e caug ht up w ith her the othe r day for a bitof a chinw ag.
ot chabeenupt o
ss ee?
“I’ve been shooting som e virtual reality cosplay porn scen es.I w ore m y Catw om an ou tfitfor a lot of it an d it looks really good .I’m also ge tting ready for Sexpo,and that’s very exciting.I’llbe doing lots of show s an d I’llbe dressed up in all sorts ofcostum es there,too.”
o wsy o rs ex eg o g ? c k’ a l s ?
“Great! I’ve been getting up to lots of m ischief w ith nau gh ty clien ts.I stilllove m y costum es, and I love m y sex.I’ve been hosting som e high-end sex parties in Sydn ey.I love w atching o ther people have sex,too.”
st o ob uth eya la y sf r e a k out hen heyseeusathe ndow. Luci eyou’ reawoman h ok no wsa b ou th i ss t u f f h a stes e c r etogv ig perec t OUTHCUDDLE? “I take w hat I love abou toral on m e,then replicate it.It’s ab ou t taking your tim e,building up ,being firm bu t gentle and keeping thing s interesting.Not the sam e repetitive m otion s.That m igh t w ork tow ards the end ,butit’s all
TOB EE R T EE
T
SU
Made in
Oz G ir l
AN
about having fun getting there. E ye contact and a cheeky smile or two don t hur t either . Wha t’s yo ur cu rren t favou rite RU TTING ou tfit?
A t the mom ent it’ s the H ar ley Quinn one from the Batman comics. I love it! It s got lots of m esh, tiny shorts and boots. My costumes are very popular with guys I’ m with. No su rprises there .Wha t’s turning you on at the m o?
I’ m just such a fan of giving blow jobs. I’ ve had a lot of r eq uests for them, so I guess I must be pretty good at it. I love being able to give, and watch people losing it.” Lotsa PICTURE read ers go to Sex po. What shou ld they d o the re?
Com e say h ello to m e! I’ ve got my own booth called The Bee Hive. You can get photos with me and I have so much other fun stuff. Please come and see me!”
See c i e S
e l b o u r n e o b e
Sp o t Th e D iffe S E L Z Z U P
A
B
2
D IF F E R E N C E S
C
D
3
D IF F E R E N C E S
E
4
D IF F E R E N C E S
T
E
H O W TO e gb e * Di ENTER p iu r
G
h er u n n i n go rh e$ 5 0 0p r i z e ,s t t h ed ie r e n c e s b e te e nh e a t c h e dp h o t o s e ep is A a nB , Ca nD , a n e#1 7C u e
TH E P I C TU R E GP
d i
o n TH E
p ot y o u r a n se r s ta t Sp o t t h e
Bo x5
S
NS
OR
SP O T TH E D IF F EREN CE # 1 47 i h e s u b
n e
H
D IFFERENC ES
I
J
D IFFERENC ES
Term s and conditions on pag e 48
C h e e k y C r o s s is against the Pop e’s law s (3). Piece ofp layground equipm ent that’s greatfor a bitof to and fro (5). She m usthave changed the colour ofhe r hair ’cos I nearly ‘died’w hen I spotted her sm oo! (4). When I rollup ata party I’ve usually one or good sorts in ...(3). When his carbegan to slide, h e m ad e m ark s o n th e ro ad and his und erpants (4). I used to callher ‘m y buried treasure’because ofher bulging ...(5). As the clergym an m oved in to dick h er, She cried,“Oh you n aug hty old ...!” (5). This type of lou d m usic certainly w ou ldn’t ...m e offto sleep (4). B ea t you r ...or TAMEthe savage beast (4). BR GAset of bino culars the girlopp osite is tak ing h er top off! (6). ERDAFTbloke ope ned his lunchb ox at the dinner table (6). I have AREDFerrariin m y garage,an d yes,it w as b lood y exp en sive! (4). A short and curlie (4). Stretched out across ED, LI SAw as irresistible (9). She begins to rem ove her clothes then T RPSarse over tit (5). ‘No rth an d sou th’you use w ith (5). I m ustw arn you - M lousy shot w he n it com es to pissing (3). He had Playboy’s m ore raun chy com petitor d elivered to h is top fl oo r flat (9). His racing days are o ver bu t for this stallion,h is sh ag ging days are just beginn ing (4- 5).
E L
4
The SLI CKFI conned her into appearing in his new est blue m ovie (9). 6.GEE EL’ gota fantastic collection of lacy nigh ties (9). Horses eatitand itm akes you sneeze ifyou have a roll in it (3). A dirty bea stw ith a one -track m ind.Itrhym es w ith ‘w retch’ (5). Pretended to have an orgasm like Meg Ryan did in the café scene from W H y M Sa l (5). F SSTEM nee ds arousing , he en gag es in som e bizarre pleasure like sn iffing girls’ shoes (9). He plan ted on e in E E tum m y to m ake a baby (4). The fi rstthing you h old w hen you ’re feeling rom an tic (4). A realqueen m ight go hom e to APLACElike this (6). It’s chauvinistic to believe a w o m an E XST sim ply to w ash and cook for a m an (6). If O D so great,w hy did h e create so m any w om en w ho look like hou nds? (4). After I’d p oked he r ,I did a victory circuit of her bedroom (3). Oralsex is som etim es know n as a ...job (4). My S P quivers w hen she tou ches m y ol’feller (5). The p ublic drain that runs up m y back passage (5). B its of excitem en t that usu ally com e che ap (7). On ce the gorgeou s Lisa McCun e w as k illed off,I gave up w atching Bl u e (7). Sh e loved to lick h on ey off the dick o f he r arm y officer (5). Ha ng loose ly like G rand m a’s tits (3). No cock has ever had – that’s w hy her virginal m em bran e is stillintact (5). It’s n o SECRETbu t every bu ilder ge ts it up on ce in a w hile (6). There’s no thing m ore nak ed than m e UNDERthe shee ts (5). Ju st like the re st of S , EG is prone to sexu aldesires (5). and outs before m arriage
D
N Hu ge frozen p iece tha t sun k the Titan ic (7). The first thing a gu y looks a t, after a girl’s cleavage (4). For m ost peo ple it com es in a can,but others stick it up their hoo ter (4). When I felt he r tum m y, slim and sm ooth (5).
W I N
w o rd ! e st c ro ss d ru s a li a tr A us
0 0 0 2 $ S IS S U E
NLY
W HEN Y O U’ V E FILLED IN THE CROSSW O RD CO RRECTLY, THE SHA DED S UA RES, REA DING TO P TO BOTTOM , LEFT TO RIGHT, W ILL REV EA L THE OW NER OF THE BREA STS. They com e w ith bacon an d I expecta w om an to cook m e them in the m orning ! (4). Midd le Eastern cou ntry w he re it doesn ’t a lot (4). When hoo ns se e a chick in the street,there cou ld BEAYELL to follow (7). FSALESat your shop are slow ,get the girlbeh ind the counter to w ear a padde d bra (7). My cricke ting m ate DA EN had plen ty of the se in his tim e (7). T ’ SS A w hen you h ear about som eone w ho loves beating his w om an (6). On h is travels,I OND if the old m inister Alexa nder had m an y Foreign Affairs (6). Did EL P Eoff w ith his squ eeze to get secretly w ed ? (5). The sigh t of his trun che on m ade her drop her contraceptive L L allover the fl oor (5). Athletic feat ach ieve d on ly b y gym nasts an d b allet dan cers (6). I’d love to see a big- bu sted Sep po she ila w ith n o BRADO a bu ngee- jum p! (5). A lon g turd that loo ks like a fallen tree (3). Ancien t lan d w he re the y stuffed the ir m um m ies (5). Scabs in your Ree bok s cou ld be described as ...so res! (7). Don ’t RI BNEDtoo m uch – h e’s a prod uct of fam ilyfucking! (6). Wom en sw ear at their m on thly,bu t sadly the re are
no CURES(5). A g roup o fPUNKSw ith safety pins through the ir nose s rarely has a good-looker am ong them (5). Ru n tha t shagg ing SCENE ROUNDagain – I’m sure that’s the uncut version ! (10). YES VEARU every now an d the n,b ut on ly w ith w om en of questionable m orality (4,6). 4 3 .The type of leaf that hid Ada m ’s peck er (3). Som e w om en sm ear it on their face s,b ut I like the o nes w ho w restle in it (3). Did ROSENDtheir relation ship just be cau se he blew the b ug le a lln igh t? (6). Where you fi nd m ost lovebites on a giraffe (4). Give m e a skinn y dollan d I’llsquirm around TH ER anytim e (6). He sha res a bed w ith a qu een (4). 5 3 .Youngeractress Hilary sounds like sh e’s u p the ...(4). a lim b u p ’er! (3). Scold your m ate if she leaves ASTENCHin the d unny (7). They say a n Au ssie g irl alw ays gets ERQUOTAof guys once she crosses The Line (7). OR can bear this com m on sportsm an ’s injury (5). Seafood sm ellyou fi nd in som e fan nies (4). LEE’ fon d of Pa rram atta footballers (4). Sexualappetite of a SLUT(4). That bear Winn ie’s sure m ade a stinker! (4).
IS S U E
14 17
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
9
10
11
12
13
14
15
16
1
21
19
22
17
20
23
24
25
26
27
2
29
30
31
32
33
34
35
36
39
37
40
41
43
46
3
42
44
45
47
4
51
52
53
50
54
55
57
49
56
5
59
61
62
63
64
66
60
67
65
6
69
71
70
72
73
74
75
TH E
EN N N
S
EL
T
NAME A D D R E SS POSTCODE
Send the completed crossword to: CHEEKYCROSS o. 14 17THEPI CTURE, t w in an ythin g. PO ox430, East er nSuburbs C, SW 2004or you wo n’ Please s ee P rivacy No tice on p age 7 3.Se e pag e 73 for term s and co nd ition s ofe ntry. D o no tp rovide inform ation a bo utm e to an y orga nisation n ot associated w ith this com petition .En tries close N ovem ber 28,2016.A nsw e rs w illap pe ar in the D ecem ber 26,2016 issue an d the w inn er’s na m e w illbe pu blishe d in the D ecem be r 26,2016 issue .Authorised u nd er NSW Pe rm itN o.L TPM/15/01204.
47
A PRIVACY NOTICE
PRVACYNOTICEThi si ssueofTHEPICTUREispublshedbyBauerMedi aPyLtd( Bauer) B au e rma yu s ea n dd i s c l o s ey o uri n f o r ma t i o n nac c o r d a n c e t ho u rPr i v a c yP oc y ,n c l u d i n gt o p r o v i d ey o u t hy o u rr e q u e s t e dp r o d uc t so rs e r v i c e sa n dt ok e e py o ui n f o r me do fo t h e rB a ue r p ub l i c a t i o n s, p r o du c t s ,s e r v i c e sa n de v en t s .u rP r i v a c yP o l i c yi sl o c a t e dat b a ue r me d i a . c o ma u / p r i v a c y /I ta l s os e t so u to nho wy o uc a na c c e s so rc o r r e c ty o u rp e r s o n a li n f o r ma t i o nan d l o d g eac o mp l a i n t .a ue rma yd i s c l o s ey o urp e r s o na li n f o r ma t i o no f f s h o r et oi t so w ne r s ,o i n t v e n t u r ep a r t n e r s ,s e r v i c epr o v i d e r sa ndag e n t sl o c a t e dt h r o u g h o u tt h e o r l d ,i n c l u d i n gn e w Z e a l a n d ,U S A,t h eP h i l p p i n e sa n dt h eE ur o p e a nUn i o n . na dd i t o n ,t h i si s s uema yc o nt a i nRe a de rO f f e r s , b e i n go f f e r s , c o mp e t i t o nso rs u r v e y s .R e ad e r f f e r sma yr e q ur ey o ut op r o v i d ep er s o n aln f o r ma t i o nt oe n t e ro rt ot a k ep a r t . P er s o n a n f o r ma t i o nc ol l e c t e df o rR ea d erO f f e r sma yb eds c l o s e dbyu st os e r v i c ep r ov i d e r sa ss i s t n g B au e ri nt h ec o nd u c to ft h eRe a d e rO f f e ra ndt oot h e ro r g a n i s a t o n sp r o v i d i n gs p e c i a l p r i z e so r o f f e r st h a ta r ep ar to ft h eRe a de rOf f e r . A no p t o utc h o i c ei sp r o v i d e dwt haRe a de rOf f e r . n l e s sy o ue x e r c i s et h a to p t o u tc h o i c e , p e r s o n a li n f o r ma t i o nc o l l e c t e df o rR ea d e rOf f e r sma y a l s ob ed i s c l o s e db yu st oo t h e ro r g a ns a t i o n sf o ru s ebyt h e mt oi n f o r my o ua bo u to t h e r p r o du c t s ,s e r v i c e sore v e nt so rt og i v et oo t h e ro r g a ns a t i o n st h a tma yu s et h i si n f o r ma t i o nf o r t h i spu r p o s e . fy o ur e q ur ef u r t h eri n f o r ma t i o n ,p l e a s ec on t a c tB au e r ’ sP r i v a c yO f fi c ere i t h e rb ye ma i l a t p r i v a c y o f fi c e r @b a u er me d i a . c o ma uo rma i la tP r i v a c yO f fi c e rB a ue rMe d i aP t y L t d , 5 4P ar k Str eet , SydneyNSW 2000. THE PICTURE CHEEKY C ROSS CONDITIONS OF ENTRY
1 .I n f o r ma t i o no nh o wt oe n t e ra n dp r i z e sf o r mp a r to ft h e s eC on d i t o n so fE n t r y . 2 . E nt r yi so p e nt or e s i d e n t so fA u s t r a l aa n d e wZ e a l a n d .E n t r a n t su n de r1 8y e a r smu s th a v e p r i o rp a r e n t a lo rl e g a lg u ar d i a nc on s e ntb e f o r ee nt e rn g .E mp l o y e e so ft h eP r o mo t e ra n dt h e i r e d i a t ef a ml i e sa nda g en c i e sa s s oc i a t e dwt ht h i sp r o mo t i o nar ei n el i g i b l et oe n t e r . 3 . P r o mo t i o nc o m e n c e sOc t o b e r1 7 ,2 0 1 6a n dfi na le n t r i e sc l o s el a s t a i lo nNo v e mb e r 1 4 , 2 0 1 6( “ P r o mo t i o n a lP e r i o d ” ) .T h ewn n erw lb ed r a wna tBa u e rMe d i a , 5 4Pa r kS t r e e t , S y d ne y , SW 2000, onNovember17, 2016at11. 00am AEST) .All esexpressedi ntheseTermsand C on d i t o n sa r ei nA ES To rA ES Ta sa pp l i c a b l e . T h e n n e r lb ei nwr i t i n g t h i nt wo( 2 ) busi nessdaysoft hedrawandhs/ hernamew lbepubli shedinTHEPICTUREmagazi neon December12, 2016. 4 . T oE nt e r , e n t r a n t smu s tc o mp l e t et h eC h e ek yC r o s sc r o s s wo r di n d i c a t e do nt h eC he e k yC r o s s p a g ec o r r e c ty , a n dpr o v i d et h ec o r r e c tk e y w o r df r o mt h ep u z z l ea n ds e ndt h ec o mp l e t e d coupont oCHEEKYCROSS#1416, THEPI CTURE,POBox430, East ernSubur bsMC,NSW 2004. 5 .Mu l t p l ee n t r i e sp er mt t e ds ub j e c t t oe a c he nt r ymu s tb ep os t e di nas e p a r a t es t a mp e d e n v e l o p e . 6 .T h ej u d g e s ’d e c i s i o ni sfi n a la n db i n d i n go na l lh oen t e ra n dnoc o r r e s p o nd e n c e lb e e n t e r e dn t o . 7 .T h efir s t( 1 )v a l da ndc or r e c te n t r yd r a wnf r o ma l l v a l i de nt r i e sr e c ev e dwl l n$1 0 00 .P r i z e l b ea wa r d e di nt h ef o r mo fac h e q u e a d ei nf a v o u ro ft h ewn n e r .Th ep r i z ei sn o t t r a n s f e r a b l eo re x c h a ng e ab l e .P r i z ed o e sn otn c l u d ean ya n cl l a r yc o s t sa s s o c i a t e dwt h r e d ee mn gt h i sp r i z e .T h e s ea r et h er e sp o ns i b i l t yo f t h ewn ne r . 8 .I nt h ee v e ntt h a tf o ra n yr e a s onwh a t s o e v e rt h eWn n erd o e sno tt a k et h epr i z ea tt h et i s t i p ul a t e dbyt h ePr o mo t e r , t h e nt h ep r i z ewl l b ef o r f e i t e db yt h eWn ne ra n dc a s hwl l n o tb e a wa r d edi nl e uoft h epr i z e . 9 .I nt h ee v e ntt h a tap r i z e , o rp ar to fap r i z e ,i sun av a i l a b l e ,t h eP r o o t e rr e s e r v est h er i g h tt o s u bs t i t u t et h epr i z eorp ar to ft h ep r i z ei nt sd i s c r e t i o n t ha na l t e r n at i v epr i z eorp ar to ft h e p r i z et ot h es a mea n de q u al r e c o m e n de dr e t a i lv a l u ea nd / o rs p e c i fi c a t i o ns ub j e c tt oa n y r i t t e nd i r e c to n sf r o mt h ev a r i o u sL o t t e r yDe p a r t me n t s . 1 0 .T h epr o mo t e ri sn et h e rr e s p on s i b l en o rl i a b l ef o ra n yl a t el o s to rms d i r e c t e dma i l ( i n cl u d i n gbu tn otl i mi t e dt opr i z e s ) . 1 1 .T h ePr o mo t e ri sn otr e s po n sb l en o rl i a b l ef o ra n yp r i z ed a ma g edi nt r a n s i tnt h ede l i v e r yo f t h e i rp r i z e . 1 2 .P r i n t i n ga n do t h e rqu a l i t yc o n t r o le r r o r swl l n oti n v a l i d a t eanot h e r ws ev al i dpr i z ec l a i m.I t h ee v e nto f aq ue r ya st ot h ev a l i d i t yo fa ne nt r y , t h ej u dg e s l l d e t e r mn ewh e t h ero rn o tt h e e n t r yi st ob ed e e e dv a l i d ,t a k i n gi n t oc o n s i d e r a t i o nal l t i g a t i n gc i r c u ms t a n c esa n d k n o we d g ea v a ia b l et ot h e ma tt h et ieo ft h ej u d g i n g .Noc o r r e s p o nd e nc ew lb ee n t e r e di n t o . 1 3 .I nt h ee v e n to fu no r e s e e nc i r c u ms t a n c e s ,w a r ,t e r r o r i s m,s t a t eo fe me r g e n c yo rd i s a s t e r ( i n c l u d i n gb utn o tl t e dt on a t u r a ld i s a s t e r ) t h eP r o o t e rr e s e r v e st h er i g htt os ub j e c tt r e f e r e n c et oa l l r e l e v a n ts t a t ea n dt e r r i t o r yr u l e san dr e g ul a t o n s, t oc a n ce l , t e r mn a t e ,mo d i f orsuspend hepromoton. 1 4 .I fame d i c a lc i r c u ms t a n c ei ns o mewa yr e s t r i c t sy o u ra b i l t yt oe n t e rt h ec o p e t i t i o nt h r o ug h t h er e q ur e dme c ha n i c , y o uar es t i l l e l i g i b l et oe n t e rh o we v e ry o umu s tb r i e flys t a t ey o u c i r c u ms t a n c e su p o ne n t r y . 1 5 .I fy o u re nt r yi ss el e c t e da sa n nn ge n t r y ,v a l i d a t i o no fy o u rcr c u ms t a n c es /t h ev a l i d i t yo f y o u re nt r ywl l b eun de r t a k e nb yt h ePr o mo t e r .e t h o do fv a ld a t i o n( wt h o u tl it a t o n )wl l b e d e t e r mn e db yt h ePr o mo t e ri ni t sc o mp l e t ed i s c r e t o n .I ft h ewn n i n ge nt r yi sd e e e dt ob e n ne r ,t h ewn ne rwl l b eno t i fi e da sp ert h et e r msa n dc o nd i t o nsh e r en .I nt h ee v en tt h a tt h e P r o o t e rr e q u es t st h een t r a n tt os i g na n yl e g a ld o c u e nt sr e l a t i n gt ot h ev e r i fi c a t i o noft h e i r e d i c a l c i r c u ms t a n c e , t h el e g a ld o c u me n t sw lt a k et h ef o r md e t e r mn e db yt h ePr o mo t e r .ti ac o nd i t i o no fa c c e p t i n gt h ep r i z et h ewn n e rs i g na n ys uc hl e g a ld o c u me n t a t i o n . 1 6 .T h ePr o mo t e r a yc o n d uc ts u c hf u r t h e rd r a wsa tt h es a mep l a c ea st h eo r i g i n a l d r a wa n d 1 . 0 0 p ma sa r en ec e s s a r yo nJ a nu a r y2 , 2 0 1 7i no r d e rt od i s t r b u t ea n yp r i z e swh i c hr e ma i u nc l a ie dbyt h a td a t es ub j e c tt or e f e r e n cet oa l l r e l e v a n ts t a t ea n dt e r r i t o r ya u t h o r i t e s .T h e n ne rwl l b eno t i fi edi nwr i t i n gwt h i nt wod a y soft h ed r a wa n d l l b epu bl i s h edi nP i c t u r e agazi neon arch6, 2017. 1 7 .No t h i n g nt h e s eT e r msa ndCo n d i t o n s t s , e x c l u d e so r o d i fi e so rpu r p o r t st ol t , e x c l u d eo rmo d i f yt h es t a t u t o r yc o n s u e rg u a r a n t e e sa sp r o v i d e dun d e rt h eC o p e t i t i o na n C on s u me rA c t , a swe l l a sa n yo t h e rip l i e dwa r r a n t i e su n de rt h eAS I CA c to rs i a rc o n s u me r p r o t e c t i o nl a wsi nt h eS t a t ea n dT e r r i t o r i e so fA us t r a l a( “o n Ex c l u d a bl eG u ar a n t e e s ” ) . E x ce p t f o ra n yl a b i l t yt h a tc a n n otb yl a wb eex c l u d e d,n c l u d i n gt h eNo n Ex c l u d a bl eG u ar a n t e e s ,t h e P r o o t e r( i n c l u d i n gi t sr e s pe c t i v eo f fi c er s , e mp l o y e e sa n da g en t s )e x c l u de sal l l i a b i l t y ( i n c l u d i n gne g l i g e nc e ) , f o ra n yp er s o na li n j u r y ; o ra nyl o s so rd a a g e( i n c l u d i n gl o s so o p po r t u n i t y ) ;w he t h e rdr e c t ,n dr e c t , s p ec i a lo rc o ns e qu e nt i a l , a r i s i n g nan ywa yo uto ft h e promoton. 1 8 .E x c ep tf o ra nyl a b i l t yt h atc a n n otb yl a wb eex c l u d e d,n c l u d i n gt h eNo n Ex c l u d a b G ua r a n t e e s ,t h eP r o mo t e r( n c l u d i n gt sr e s p e c t i v eo f fi c e r s ,e mp l o y e e sa n da g e nt s )sno t r e s p on s i b l ef o ra n de x c l u d esal l l i a b i l t y( n c l u d i n gn e gl i g e nc e ) , f o ra n yp e r s on ali n j u r y ;o ra n y l o s so rda ma g e( i n c l u d i n gl o s so fo p po r t u n i t y ) ;h e t h erd i r e c t ,i n dr e c t , s p ec i a lo r c o ns e qu en t i a l , a r i s i n gi na nywa yo uto f :( a ) a n yt e c hn i c a ld i f fi c u l t e so req up me n tma l f u nc t i o n ( w he t h e ro rn otu n d ert h ePr o mo t e r ’ sc o nt r o l ) ;( b ) a n yt h e f t , u na u t h or i s e dac c e s sort h i r dp a r t y n t e r f e r e n c e ;( c ) a n ye n t r yo rpr i z ec l a i mt h a ti sl a t e , l o s t ,a l t e r e d ,d a ma g edorms d i r e c t e d h e t h e ro rn o ta f t e rt h e i rr e c e i p tb yt h eP r o mo t e r ) d u et oa n yr e a s o nb e y o n dt h er e a s o n a b c o nt r o l o ft h ePr o mo t e r ;( d ) a n yv ar i a t i o ni np r i z ev a l u et ot h a ts t a t e di nt h e s eT e r msa n o nd i t i o ns ;( e )a n yt a xl i a bi l t yi n cu r r edbyawn ne ro ren t r a nt ; o r( f )u s eoft h ep r i z e . 1 9 .I ft h i sp r o mo t i o ni si n t e r f e r e dwt hi na nywa yo ri sn o tc a p a bl eo fb e i n gc on du c t e da r e a s o n a bya n t i c i p a t e dd uet oa n yr e a s o nb e y o n dt h er e a s o n a bec o nt r o lo f t h eP r o mo t e r , t h e P r o o t e rr e s e r v est h er i g ht ,ni t ss ol ed i s c r e t o n,t ot h ef u l l e s te x t e n tp e r mt t e db yl a w:( a )t o d i s q u a l i f ya n yen t r a n t ;o r( b )s u b j e c tt oan ywr i t t e nd i r e c to n sf r o m ar e gu l a t o r ya u t h or i t y , t o o d i f y ,s u s p e n d ,t e r mn a t eo rc a n c e lt h ep r o mo t i o n ,a sa pp r o p r i a t e . 2 0 .T h ePr o mo t e rc o le c t sp e r s o n a li n f o r ma t i o ni no r d e rt oc o n d uc tt h epr o mo t i o nan dma y , f o r t h i sp ur p o s e,d i s c l o s es uc hn f o r ma t i o nt ot h i r dpa r t i e s ,i n c l u d i n gbu tn otl t e dt oa ge n t s , c o nt r a c t o r s ,s e r v i c epr o v i d e r s ,p r i z es up p l i e r sa nd ,a sr e qu i r e d ,t oAu s t r a l i a nr e g ul a t o r y a u t h or i t i e s .E n t r yi sc o nd i t o na lo np r o v i d i n gt h i si n f o r ma t i o n .T h eP r o o t e rma y ,f o ra n n d efi nt ep e r i o d ,u n l e s so t h e r ws ea dv i s e d, u s et h ei n f o r ma t i o nf o rp r o mo t i o n al ,a r k e t i n g , p ub l i c i t y , r e s e ar c ha n dpr o fi l i n gp ur p o s es ,n c l u d i n gs e nd i n ge l e c t r o ncme s s ag e so r t e l e p ho nn gt h een t r a n t . E nt r a n t ss h o udd i r e c ta nyr e q u es tt oo pto ut , a c c es s ,u p d at eo rc o r r e c t n f o r ma t i o nt ot h ePr o mo t e r . A l l e n t r i e sbe c o met h epr o p e r t yo ft h eP r o mo t e r . 2 1 .A l l e n t r i e sbe c o met h ep r o p e r t yo ft h eP r o mo t e r . T h ec o l l e c t i o n ,u s ea n dd i s c l o s u r eo f p e r s o n a li n f o r ma t i o np r o v i d e d nc o n n ec t i o n t ht h i sp r o mo t i o n sg ov e r n e db yt h eP r i v a c y o t i c e( s e eCo nt e n t sP a gef o rl o c at i o ni nt h i si s s ue ) . 2 2 .B ye nt e r i n gt h i sp r o mo t i o n, t h ee n t r a n tc o ns e nt st or e c e i p t o fa n ye ma i lr e g a r d i n gt h ep r o mo t i o n ,a n do t h e re ma iswh i c h n f o r mt h ee n t r a n to ft h ePr o mo t e r ’ so t h e rp ub l i c a t i o ns , p r o d u c t s , s e r v i c e sa nde v e nt sa n dt op r o mo t et h i r dp ar t yg o o dsa n ds e r v i c e si ta yb e n t e r e s t e dn . 2 3 .T h ePr o mo t e ri sB au e rMe d i aL it e d( A BN1 80 5 32 7 35 4 6 )o f 5 4–5 8Pa r kS t r e e t , S y d ne y , SW 2000.Phone:92828000. 24. Authori sedunderpermtnumber: SW Permt o. LTPM/15/ 01204.
EE
D
E S
R O
I R
A
O
T
U
I G
U
S
O
F
B O
Y
P
4
S
R
B N
D
H
R O
A V U
P
H
O
A
R
G
T
I T
I S
C
U
C
H
B P
S
A
I R
F
D
A
B O
L
L
L
U
E
S
E R
G
N
K
O
T
L
E
A D
S
Z
J O
F F E
N
E
M
EN
E
#1413 - C.R, BERKLEY, NSW
E
V
Y
O
L
S
L
O
A N
S
C HEE
O
A
A P
O
S
T
B
T
D
T
A N G
D
N
R
S
M C
A M
E
K E
X
S O
O
E
D
N
I
D
J E
I S
L
Y
A N
I N G
A
I B
T
L
E
D
K
T
G
I N G
N
I S
E
N
E
E
R
T
O
E
B
B
U
I G
A
O
H L
E
R
L
E
L
R A
D
L
E
A
W
O W
A E
R
T H E
L
S M
R
LA T ES T S P O
E
D
I
F
O
D
L
T O
I N
S
T
T
K
U
U
B
E
E
S
O
M E
I E
C
E
C
F
N
S
O
D
P
R
I G
L
S
E
I
B
A C
E
B
C
R
B
M
B
S
K S
V
K
S O
E
E U
E
L
N - T H E T IT S B EL O N
A
H
T E
D
A B
S
B D
L U T I
S
THE PICTURE SPOT THE DIFFERENCE COND ITIONS OF ENTRY
1 .I n f o r ma t i o nonho wt oe n t e ra n dp r i z e sf o r mp a r to ft h es eCo n dt i o nso fE n t r y . P ar t i c i p a t i o ni t h i sp r o mo t i o ni sd e e me da c c ep t a n c eo ft h e s et e r sa n dc o n d i t o n s . 2 . E nt r yi so p e nt or e s i d e n t so fA u s t r a l aa n d e wZ e a l a n d .E n t r a n t su n de r1 8y e a r smu s th a v e p r i o rp a r e n t a lo rl e g a lg u ar d i a nc on s e ntb e f o r ee nt e rn g .E mp l o y e e so ft h eP r o mo t e ra n dt h e i r e d i a t ef a ml i e sa nda g en c i e sa s s oc i a t e dwt ht h i sp r o mo t i o nar ei n el i g i b l et oe n t e r . 3 . 3 .P r o mo t i o nc o m e n c e sOc t o b e r1 7 , 2 0 1 6a ndfi n a le n t re sc l o s el a s ta i lo nNo v e mb e r 1 4 , 2 0 1 6( “ P r o mo t i o n a lP e r i o d ” ) .T h ewn n erw lb ed r a wna tBa u e rMe d i a , 5 4Pa r kS t r e e t , S y d ne y , SW 2000, onNovember17, 2016at11. 00am AEST) .All esexpressedi ntheseTermsand C on d i t o n sa r ei nA ES To rA ES Ta sa pp l i c a b l e . T h e n n e r lb ei nwr i t i n g t h i nt wo( 2 ) busi nessdaysoft hedrawandhs/ hernamew lbepubli shedinTHEPICTUREmagazi neon December12, 2016.
n ne rwl l b eno t i fi edi nwr i t i n gwt h i nt wod a y soft h ed r a wa n d l l b epu bl i s h edi nP i c t u r e agazi neon arch6, 2017. 1 5 .No t h i n g nt h e s eT er msa ndC o nd i t i o n s t s , e x c l u d e so r o d i fi e so rpu r p o r t st ol it , e x c l u d eo rmo d i f yt h es t a t u t o r yc o n s u e rg u a r a n te e sa sp r o v i d e dun d e rt h eC o p e t i t i o na n C on s u me rA c t , a swe l l a sa n yo t h e rip l i e dwa r r a n t i e su nd e rt h eA S I CA c to rs i a rc o n s u me r p r o t e c t i o nl a wsi nt h eS t a t ea n dT e r r i t o r i e so fA us t r a l a( “o n Ex c l u d a bl eG u ar a n t e e s ” ) . E x ce p t f o ra n yl a b i l t yt h a tc a n n otb yl a wb eex c l u d e d,n c l u d i n gt h eNo n Ex c l u d a bl eG u ar a n t e e s ,t h e P r o o t e r( i n c l u d i n gi t sr e s pe c t i v eo f fi c er s , e mp l o y e e sa n da g en t s )e x c l u de sal la b i l t y ( i n c l u d i n gne g l i g e nc e ) , f o ra n yp er s o n ali n j u r y ; o ra nyl o s so rd a a g e( i n c l u d i n gl o s so o p po r t u n i t y ) ;w he t h e rdr e c t ,n dr e c t , s p ec i a l o rc on s eq ue n t i a l ,a r i s i n gi na n y a yo uto ft h e promoton. 1 6 .E x c ep tf o ra nyla b i l t yt h a tc a nn o tb yl a wb eex c l u d e d,n c l u d i n gt h eNo n Ex c l u d a bl e u a r an t e e s ,t h ePr o mo t e r( n c l u d i n gi t sr e s p e c t i v eo f fi c e r s ,e mp l o y e e sa nda g en t s )sn o t r e s p on s i b l ef o ra n de x c l u d esal l l i a b i l t y( n c l u d i n gn eg l i g e nc e ) , f o ra n yp e r s on a li n j u r y ;o ra n l o s so rda ma g e( i n c l u d i n gl o s so fo p po r t u n i t y ) ;w he t h e rdr e c t ,n dr e c t , s p ec i a lo r c o ns e qu en t i a l , a r i s i n gi na nywa yo uto f :( a ) a n yt e c hn i c a ld i f fi c ul t e so req up me n tma l f u nc t i o n ( w he t h e ro rn otu n d ert h ePr o mo t e r ’ sc o nt r o l ) ;( b ) a n yt h e f t , u na u t h or i s e dac c e s sort h i r dp a r t y n t e r f e r e n c e ;( c ) a n ye n t r yo rpr i z ec l a i mt h a ti sl a t e , l o s t ,a l t e r e d ,d a ma g edorms d i r e c t e d h e t h e ro rn o ta f t e rt h e i rr e c e i p tb yt h eP r o mo t e r ) d u et oa n yr e a s o nb e y o n dt h er e a s o n a b c o nt r o l o ft h ePr o mo t e r ; ( d ) a n yv ar i a t i o ni np r i z ev a l u et ot h a ts t a t e di nt h e s eT e r msa n o nd i t i o ns ;( e )a n yt a xl i a bi l t yi n cu r r edbyawn ne ro ren t r a nt ; o r( f )u s eoft h ep r i z e . 1 7 .I ft h i sp r o mo t i o ni si n t e r f e r e dwt hi na nywa yo ri sn o tc a p a bl eo fb e i n gc on d uc t e da s r e a s o n a bya n t i c i p a t e dd uet oa n yr e a s o nb e y o n dt h er e a s o n a bec o nt r o lo f t h eP r o mo t e r , t h e P r o o t e rr e s er v e st h er i g ht ,ni t ss ol ed i s c r e to n ,t ot h ef u l l e s te x t e ntp e r mt t e db yl a w:( a )t o d i s q u a l i f ya n yen t r a n t ;o r( b )s u b j e c tt oan y r i t t e nd i r e c to n sf r o m ar e gu l a t o r ya u t h or i t y , t o o d i f y ,s u s p e n d ,t e r mn a t eo rc a n c e lt h ep r o mo t i o n ,a sap p r o p r i a t e . 1 8 .T h ePr o mo t e rc o l e c t sp e r s o n a li n f o r ma t i o ni no r d e rt oc o n d uc tt h epr o mo t i o nan dma y , f o r t h i sp ur p o s e,d i s c l o s es uc hn f o r ma t i o nt ot h i r dpa r t i e s ,i n c l u d i n gb u tno tl it e dt oa ge n t s , c o nt r a c t o r s ,s e r v i c epr o v i d e r s ,p r i z es up p l i e r sa nd ,a sr e qu i r e d ,t oAu s t r a l i a nr e g ul a t o r y a u t h or i t i e s .E n t r yi sc o nd i t o n al o npr o v i d i n gt h i si n f o r ma t i o n .T h eP r o o t e rma y ,f o ra n n de fi nt ep e r i o d ,u n l e s so t h e r ws ea dv i s e d,u s et h ei n f o r ma t i o nf o rp r o mo t i o n al ,a r k e t i n g , p ub l i c i t y , r e s e ar c ha n dpr o fi l i n gp ur p o s es ,n c l u d i n gs e nd i n ge l e c t r o n i cme s s ag e so r t e l e p ho nn gt h een t r a n t . E nt r a n t ss h o ul dd i r e c ta n yr e q ue s tt oo pto ut , a c c es s ,u p d at eo rc o r r e c t n f o r ma t i o nt ot h eP r o mo t e r . A l l e n t r i e sb ec o met h epr o p e r t yo ft h eP r o mo t e r . 1 9 .A l l e n t r i e sb ec o met h ep r o p er t y o ft h ePr o mo t e r . T hec o l l e c t i o n ,u s ea ndd i s c l o s ur eo f p e r s o n a li n f o r ma t i o np r o v i d e d nc o n n ec t i o n t ht h i sp r o mo t i o n sg ov e r n e db yt h eP r i v a c y o t i c e( s e eCo nt e n t sP a gef o rl o c at i o ni nt h i si s s ue ) . 2 0 .B ye nt e r i n gt h i sp r o mo t i o n, t h ee n t r a ntc o ns e nt st or e c e i p to f a nye ma i l r e g ar d i n gt h e p r o mo t i o n ,a n do t h e re ma iswh i c hi n f o r mt h ee n t r a n to ft h ePr o mo t e r ’ so t h e rp ub l i c a t i o n s , p r o d u c t s , s e r v i c e sa nde v e nt sa n dt op r o mo t et h i r dp ar t yg o o d sa n ds e r v i c e si ta yb e n t e r e s t e di n . 2 1 .T h ePr o mo t e ri sB au e rMe d i aL it e d( A BN1 80 5 32 7 35 4 6 ) o f5 4–5 8P a r kS t r e e t , S y d ne y ,S W2 0 0 0 .Ph o ne :9 2 8 28 0 0 0 . 22.Authori sedunderpermtnumbers: SW PermtNo.LTPM 15/01204.
4 . T oEn t e r , E nt r a n t smu s tc o mp l e t et h eS p otT h eD e r e n c epu z z l ep a gec o r r e c t l ya n ds en dt h e compl et edcoupont oSPOTTHEDFFERENCE#1416, THEPI CTURE,POBox429, East ern SuburbsMC,NSW 2004. 5 .M ut i p l ee n t re sp er mt t e ds ub j e c tt oe a c he n t r ymu s tb ep os t e di nas e p a r a t es t a mp e d e n v el o p e .T h ePr o mo t e ri sn et h e rr e s p on s i b l en o rl i a b l ef o rl a t eo rms d i r e c t e de n t r i e s , n c l u d i n gbu tn o tl it e dt ot h ec o sto f s e nd i n gt h een t r yv i ae x pr e s spo s t , r e g i s t e r e dp o sto r c o ur i e r .T h e s ec o s t sa r et h er e sp o ns b i l t yo f t h ewn ne r . 6 .T hej u dg e s’ d e cs i o ni sfi n a la n dn oco r r e s p on d en c ewl l b ee nt e r e di n t o . 5 .T h efir s t( 1 )v a l da ndc or r e c te n t r yd r a wnf r o ma l l v a l i de nt r i e sr e c ev e dwl l n$5 0 0–Pr i z e lb ea wa r d e di nt h ef o r mo fac h e q u e a d ei nf a v o u ro ft h ewn n er .T h epr i z ei sn o t t r a ns f e r a b l eo re x c h a ng e ab l e .P r i z ed o e sn otn c l u d ean ya nc i l l a r yc o s t sa s s o c i a t e dwt h r e d e e n gt h i sp r i z e . T he s ear et h er e s po n sb i l t yo f t h ewn ne r . 6 .I nt h ee v e ntt h a tf o ra n yr e a s o n h a t s o e v e rt h eWn n e rdo e sno tt a k et h epr i z ea tt h et s t i p ul a t e dbyt h ePr o mo t e r , t h e nt h epr i z ewl l b ef o r f e i t e db yt h eWn ne ra n dc a s h l l n otb e a wa r d edi nl e uof t h ep r i z e . 7 .I nt h ee v e ntt h a tap r i z e , o rp ar to fap r i z e ,i sun a v al a b l e , t h ePr o mo t e rr e s e r v est h er i g h tt o s u bs t i t u t et h epr i z eorp ar to ft h ep r i z ei ni t sd i s c r e t o n t ha na l t e r n at i v epr i z eorp ar to ft h e p r i z et ot h es a mea n de q u alr e c o m e n d edr e t a i lv a l u ea nd / o rs p e c i fi c a t i o ns ub j e c tt oa n y r i t t e nd i r e c t i o n sf r o mt h ev a r i o u sLo t t e r ye p ar t me nt s . 8 .T h ep r o o t e ri sn et h e rr e s p on s i b l en o rl i a b l ef o ra n yl a t el o s to rms d i r e c t e dma i l ( i n c l u d i n g b utn o tl ii t e dt opr i z e s) . 9 .T h ePr o mo t e ri sn otr e s p o ns i b l en orl a b l ef o ra n yp r i z ed a ma g edi nt r a ns i ti nt h ede l i v e r yo f t h e i rp r i z e 1 0 .P r i n t i n ga n do t h e rqu a l i t yc o n t r o le r r o r swl l n o ti n v a l i d a t eanot h e r ws ev al i dpr i z ec l a i m.I t h ee v e nto f aq ue r ya st ot h ev a l i d i t yo fa ne nt r y , t h ej u dg e swl l d e t e r mn ewh et h e ro rn o tt h e e n t r yi st ob ed e e e dv a l i d ,t a k i n gi n t oc o n s i d e r a t i o nal l t i g a t i n gc i r c u ms t a n c e san d k n o we d g ea v a ia b l et ot h e ma tt h et ieo ft h ej u d g i n g .Noc o r r e s p o nd e n c e lb ee n t e r e di n t o . 1 1 .I nt h ee v e n to fu nf o r e s e e nc i r c u ms t a n c e s ,w a r ,t e r r o r i s m,s t a t eo fe me r g e n c yo rd i s a s t e r n c l u d i n gb utn o tl t e dt on a t u r a ld i s a s t e r ) t h eP r o o t e rr e s e r v e st h er i g h tt os u b j e c tt r e f e r e n c et oa l l r e l e v a n ts t a t ea n dt e r r i t o r yr u l e san dr e g ul a t o n s, t oc a n ce l , t e r mn a t e ,mo d i f orsuspend hepromoti on. 1 2 .I fame d i c a lc i r c u ms t a n c ei ns o mewa yr e s t r i c t sy o u ra b i l t yt oe nt e rt h ec o p e t i t o nt h r o ug h t h er e q ur e dme c ha nc ,y o ua r est i l l e l i g i b l et oe n t e rh o we v e ry o umu s tb r i e flys t a t ey o u r c i r c u ms t a n c e su p o ne n t r y . 1 3 .I fy o u re nt r yi ss e l e c t e da sa n nn ge nt r y ,v a l d a t i o no fy o u rc i r c u ms t a n c e s/t h ev a l i d i t yo f y o u re nt r y l l b eun de r t a k e nb yt h ePr o mo t e r .e t h o do fv a l d a t i o n( wt h o u tl it a t i o n )wl l b e d e t e r mn e db yt h ePr o mo t e ri ni t sc o mp l e t ed i s c r e t o n .I ft h e n n i n ge nt r yi sd e e e dt ob ea n n er , t h ewn n e r lb en ot i fi e da sp ert h et e r msa n dc o n dt i o n sh e r e i n .nt h eev e n tt h a tt h e P r o o t e rr e q u es t st h een t r a n tt os i g na n yl e g a ld o c u e n t sr e l a t i n gt ot h ev e r i fi c a t i o noft h e i r e d i c a l c i r c u ms t a n c e , t h el e g a ld o c u me n t sw lt a k et h ef o r md e t e r mn e db yt h ePr o mo t e r .ti ac o nd i t o no fa c c e p t i n gt h ep r i z et h ewn n ers i g na n ys uc hl e g a ld o c u me n t a to n . 1 4 . T h eP r o mo t e ra yc o n d uc ts u c hf u r t h e rd r a wsa tt h es a mep l a c ea st h eo r i g i n a ld r a wa n d 1 . 0 0 p ma sa r en e c es s a r yo nJ a nu a r y2 ,2 0 1 7i no r d e rt od i s t r b u t ea n yp r i z e swh i c hr e ma i u n c l a ie db yt h a t d a t es u b j e c t t o r e f e r e n c et o a l l r e l e v a n ts t a ta n dt e r r i t o ra u t h o r i t i e s . T h
I E
R
O B
I
F
S
L
E A C
E
R
S
F
U
L
A S
A
A
ERS EE
C H
R O
I N G
L
I L
N H
T
Y C R O
#1413 - T.M, HAMILTON, WA
V H
E
#
H A M W A L L E T HA
LE A AL T
R B Y P L A Y E
uc
I
I
GU P
KNEWassoon asRod cam e to w ork in our office thatI w as gunn a fuck him .The only question w as w hen. I flirted w ith him heaps – leaning overh is desk so he could sneak a look atm y 34Ds, giving him panty flashes w hen I bentover to putpaper in the printer – so he m ust’ve know n I w as gagging forit. Then I gothim on his ow n fora Friday lunch and a few w ines,w ith the idea I’d jum p his bon es after drinks in the pub thatnight, butitallhappen ed a bitqu icker. On the w ay back to w ork,ourold liftshat itselfbetw een floors,and there w e w ere,
alone,a bitpissed,m e in m y low -cutblouse and shortskirtand him cracking a fatin his pants thatlooked like itneeded seeing to. Rod w entto pressthe em ergency button butIgrabbed his hand and guided itup m y skirtto m y button instead.He started fingering m y sw ollen clitw hile I unzipped him and letthatbad boy spring out. Dropping to m y knees,I leftstreaks of lippy on his dick from base to knob as I deepthroated him .Then ,realising w e w ouldn’t have m uch tim e,I backed up againstthe w all and pulled him tow ards m e. Hooking m y legs around his w aist,I pulled
m y panties aside,took his cock into m y w et cuntand started churning. B y this tim e w e could hearthuds as they tried to lever open the liftdoors,so I increased the tem po and applied the ol’ crusherhold on his cock w ith m y w elltrained sm oo. I felthim spurtinto m e,then w e hurriedly gotourselves together as the rescuers prised open the doors. I w entback to m y desk w ith his spoof running dow n m y thigh.Itgoteven better w hen w ent hom e together thatnight. D. D.CHATS
OD
HERE CU S THE R I E S MƒI HE N D i,m y ex,invited m e to h er w ed ding ,I figu red I m igh t as w ell go a nd get a free night on the piss ou t of the failed relation sh ip. I ducked the cerem ony an d fronted at the reception,w he re I w as stoke d to find that Di’s younger sister Ro sie w as a bridesm aid. I ha dn ’t seen Rosie since Dih ad given m e the sh ove,and she’d turned into a taller,bigger-titted,h ornier version of he r sister. We d id som e seriou s flirting,an d as soon as the speeches w ere done and du sted sh e m ade a bee line for m e to have a dance. We w ere only the re for half a so ng w hen she w hispered in m y ear:“Di alw ays told m e you w ere a great fuck. Let’s find som ew he re qu ick.” I looked aroun d an d dan ced her over to the first do or that caug ht m y eye,and w hen n o-one w as looking I flicke d it op en an d da nce d her inside . I latched the d oor and w e fum bled aro und stripping o ff clothes until I had h er naked from the w aist dow n, Sh e h ad a cute little lan ding strip w ith a u nicorn tattbeside it. I kn elt do w n,lifted he r leg s over m y shoulders and sucked on that juicy hon eyp ot until her squea ls got so loud I w as sure w e’d be sprung . I figu red the be st w ay to sh ut her up w as to stick m y dick in h er m ou th, and a fter she gave m e som e slobbery he ad,I lifted he r up ,plon ked he r arse on a table an d gu ided m y throbb er into her. She w as tigh t as,an d as I thrust into h er I could he ar thing s crash ing an d b reak ing,bu t I didn ’t care as soon w e w ere both about to cum . We h it the big O ,w ith m ore squ ealing from Rosie,the n I look ed around and realised w e w ere in the room w ith the presen ts,several of w hich w ere no w on the floor looking a bit sm ashed u p. So I chucke d a few m ore at the w all and w e w ent back ou tside to n eck m ore free cham pagne. J.K ., W A N G A RA T TA , V IC
Girls, send us a nude or topless photo of y ourself to run along w ith y our fuck story and w e’ ll pa y y ou $250!
SC
RE
Each photo m ustbe signed on the back by the F*** Pix girlin the photo. Please include yourphone num ber and a copyofyourphoto ID. I herebygive THE PICTURE m agazine the righttopublish one ofthe enclosedphotosofm e.Iam over18 yearsofage. Any personssending F***Pix photos w ithoutthew ritten perm ission ofthe subjectw illbe liable to crim inal prosecu tion. I give perm ission form y photo to be used on the Internet.
Tick ifyou d o not w ish us to provide inform ation ab out you to a ny o rgan isation not associated w ith this com petition.
NAME ADD RESS
c o r e$5 0i f ep b ls hy o rh o to nk i a l e a kes ur eisn ol o ng er a n30 0 ords,andi ncl udeyourcurr entaddress andphonenu ber. Leters aybe d rc r iy .
R I VE I N W I T H
DATE OF BIRTH PHONE
SIGNATURE
IS S C R
ACK in the day w hen there w ere such things as d rive-ins,m y big bruv recruited m e to accom pany him and his girlfrien d on a double date w ith h er younger sister. See,the girls’parents w ou ld only let the older one go w ith him ifthere w ere m ore people in the car as chaperones,butthey didn ’taccoun tfor the you nger one being a raving nym pho herself. So there w e are,the sw eethearts in the frontplaying kissy- kissy,w hile I’m in the back w ith the sister expecting a boring nigh t ofpopcorn and shitm ovies. B ut fuck m e ifshe doesn ’tslide over and grab m e on the cock! I don ’tsay anything ,’cos I’m a bit shocked,butnext thing she silently unzips m e and starts sucking m y don g like she’s trying to get the last drops ofh er m ilkshake out through a straw . I dun no w hat to do,so she steers m y hand betw een her legs w here her pubes – rem em ber pubes? – are soaking w et and her pussy lips are so slippery m y firsttw o fingers slide rightin. In the fron tit’s allpashing and the occasionaltitsqu eeze,follow ed by: “No,I’m not that kind ofgirl,” w hile little m iss sex bom b in the back has m anoeuvred one leg over m e and is rubbing the head ofm y cock up and dow n h er slit.
POSTCODE
Z
Then she leans her upper body aw ay from m e an d inserts m y cock into her w ettunnel. Suddenly w e’re fucking in a sortofsidew ays doggy- style in the dark,stillpreten ding to w atch the m ovie. It’s insane,butI’m loving it.Sh e silently builds up the pace and I unleash a load of spoofinto h er as I feelher hot little cunt clenching aroun d m y cock. Then she tidies h erselfup,jum ps out ofthe car and says she’s going for m ore popcorn,do I w ant som e? I say nah,I’m good,and that’s that. Fucken w eird,butgood. R .C ., T A R E N P O IN T , N SW
nt er n
t t er
picture m aga ine TheP ictureM ungo www.picturem ag.com
H O T TIP S FO R YO U N G SW IN G ER S
BATH NIGH T
JPEG OF THEWEEK
not herhappyLot
Ti ger oods’newcoac hi ngst af fshoul gethigamebackon ackreal qui ck.
nner.
W EL L P O U RED , YO U R M AJES TY !
W E’RE G U ES SIN G ‘D IC K ’
L oo k slk eDo na l d ’ sg o tt h er a n s g en de rv o t es e wnup .
R O L LIN G U P A F AT O N E
el comet ot heN bi ngardens how
T h eq u ee nh a t e sp a y i n gn fla t e db a rp r i c e swh e ns h ego e st ot h er a c e s . S E N D U S Y O U R J P E G S ! Seen som ething HIGH -LARIOU S on the w orld w ide w eb lately?TagitINTERNU TTERS,forw ard itto p i ct ure bauermedi acomau and ifw e piss ourselves laug hing w e justm igh trun itin the m agazine.G eto n it!
E H A T I P S N E T H P E L E L A R E T U H E E H A S T E E E U E E T R E A T P A G E
5 6 E P A G
6 0
P A G E
6 8
G O H A R D ! G O H O M IE S!
This w eek... BE A U T BU M A SK TH E H O M IE S F L A SH BA C K TO P TITS
Ho me Gir ls “I’ e had a fo r o e th another co e
N
T AU P O , N Z E nglish spunk A ndarial,24 ,
com ing into the bar justto w atch
is in her ideal job. “I w ork in
us dance.”
a bookshop and love being around books.I read fantasy novels in m y spare tim e.I love
HAT I S TH E LA RGES T
to escape reality;anything
U
e l l ss o me t gs e x yta ta s a pp e ne dt oyo u nr e a l “I
can happen in fantasy.”
5
a tdbeo neo f e w e sv i s i gap ubw h b e e rwo ud ntb es u c ha ns s ER
HA E R TI
E
PE TE
PLE
AT T H E
U E
“I’ve had a foursom e
w ith another coup le and m y
w as learning to po le dance in a
boyfriend atthe tim e.There
pu blic bar and stripped d ow n to
w ere tw o girls and tw o guys.
m y u nderw earbecause itw as
No -on e w as straight and itw as
m ore com fortable.People w ere
a lotof fun.”
E ƒ U
C H ƒ R L O T T E HAWTHORN, IC “M y b oy f rie nd and I were at my frie nd ’s hou se fo r a party,” says 23-year-ol d ret ail wo rker C harl ot te .“Th e f rie nd was a t ot al bab e and my first ki ss – no t t oo unusu al w hen yo u go t o an all -gi rls sc ho ol .M y b oy f rie nd
and I found ourselves in her room and fairly drunk and one thing led to another.W hat made it mem orable is that the host walked in halfway through and decided to j oin in – bri ng in g b ack all t ho se sc ho ol me mo rie s.”
You sound a blast at social gatherings. “I also like to m ess wit h people when I go out; I enj oy we arin g f airl y t ransp arent c lo th in g like my l ace corsets and watching g uys trying to figure out if it i s really my nipple piercings th ey can see.” AT S T E L A EO LE
OU
A VE
E TN
B E R OF
OOT ED AT T H E ON E
E “It w ou ld have to be th e t hree som e i n th at st ory.” T
“I like to m ess w ith people w hen I go out”
U T U A E
5
“I’ve bought some new to ys for my boyfri e nd to use on me ”
L IL IT H E S U
F E
S P A
A D
S E
L D
W hen she s not wielding her guitar, inked-up 25-year-old gaming shop worker and pole dancing fan L ilithe is grabbing a console. I love to play – I always win, though.”Wh atother, erm ,hand-h eld devices do you use for
Something sexy I’ ve done is bought some new toys for my boyfriend to use on me.”More electricals? R opes and restraints this time. I would highly recommend them.” entertainm entpurposes?
If they w ere attached to a B O NZ A NU D E SPUNK like you,w e’d gladly take your recom m endation.
HATI HE ARGESTNUMBEROF PEOPL YO HAV ROOT ED HEONE TIE? Just two my partner and another girl. It was always a fantasy of mine.
H o m e G ir ls I’m cer tainly up for ne w experiences”
T
L
O N T BA
NT E , A
e ny y e ao l dAa l a nasa ne x po r e r . “ I k ea dv e n n g on e w a c e s–e s p e ca l hal a k e–os tpo f fa ndc oo ld o wna f t e r ah e . o f f w h o p eo u a n ST R I P “ Ye s .h eea r eaf e wd i fe r e n t
I ’ mabto fao ne o no nekn do fg i E “ b utI ’ mc e r t a iynts h y nf r tf e oe . h e r eh a v eb e e nn u me r o u so c c a so n swh e r Ih a veh a dc op e to ns hf re n dso nwh o c a nma k et h egu y o a nh el o ud e s t o rt e a s a n dpe a s ew h ou ta k i n gt h e me x p l o d s t .e i n gy ou ng ,Ia mc e ra i n l yupf o rn e w e x pe re n c e sa n dIa ms u r eo ned a y le n du p y i n gs oe t h i n gw hmu l t p l ep ep l eo ft h e s a meo ro pp os ies e x . TI
a k e sa nd a t e ra lsd o wns o u t hIh a v e v i se d hd ae st h ath a vee nd edu p ac h e e k yn a k e ds w A T IS T H E L A R G E S T N U M B E R O P EO P L E Y O U
V E
O O T ED A T T H E O N E
5
H o m e G ir ls RO
NN
HO I
AN G A OO P OIN T ,
I
3 7 6 1
$3 0 S
e l ea v e
u ’r e l a n ni n
u str a l i a .
elp sta y i ng m
t e
a n.
y
nd if y
ROXA
ne er t u need
a r r i ng a l o c a l re
o u g o ing to
T H E P IC T U R E a g a i n s BE N E , A N A A T in
e
n? ”
f or t he o ff er, B ern ie, u I’m n ot sta yin g in Au stra li a for t h at m u ch l on g er a n y m o re. Bu t I would definitely pose for th e mag azin e agai n.”
I
3 4 1 1
$3 0 S
N
HO I
A E AI E , SA I ’d li k e to
P IC T U R E
se in li e
n t so c n dent. et t e c o u r a stu di o
AN 0
nd
,
e to
THE
EL
u do w
ut I ’ do
et n
u ed in
u b l i s ed
L S TO N
LD
n aked i n f ro nt o f ou r m and do little poses.If you’re a l it tl e sh y, st ar t sm al l a n d d o a boudoir shoot.You find you feel sexy and confident.
H E IR L A TH I U L I E C h u ck u s an em ai l at asktheh omegirl s@ bauer-media.com.au or write to A sk T h e H om e G i rl s c/o TH E PIC TU RE , G PO Box 5201, Sydney, NSW 2000. A S KA
I pull my swimmer bottoms to the side and have sex”
J E S S
SU RFER S PARADISE, QL D B eauty therapist Jess doesn’ t mind getting her 25-year-old nails dirty away from work. I love the outdoors. I love being able to do adventurous things, exploring and seeing new places. I love H amilton Island and Stradbroke Island if I want something closer to home.”What abou tou tdoor sexualshen anigan s?
O f course, especially in the ocean.”Tell us your idealm ethods for AQ UATI C
We just act as if B O N K I N G ? “
we are cuddling, but really I pull my swimmer bottoms to the side and then we start having sex. It has to be in calm water.” That w ay you getto create your ow n turbulence. H AT IS T H E L A R PE
PLE
E S T NU
U HA E R
TE
ER AT T H E
E TI E Two:one male and one female. It waswith a guy I used to see. We made a Tinder account and organised it.”
H o m e G ir ls
I prefer a female touch”
R
CHE L
N O O AV L E , L “ Ia m o m a z i”s a y s s c i s2 8y e ao l dl e s ba n a c h e l . “ Iu s e dt o o r kt h e r ea s as n gc o a c ha n dp e r s o n a l r a ie ra ndIl eals o r t so s p or t s . Ic a met oA s t r a lat e a r nE g l i s ha ndho w os u a swe l l e l o k es f t e rld
re
u tted y o u p r a cti se
“ Ia m o t a lyg a y .Id o ntk no wh ow e xa i ni te r ywe l l , tI r e f e r af e ma l et o uc h,h ers k i na n a V A
2
T A
N
E
e i rs me l l
t ex p l a i n ed it
n dI k et h ewa y e y s s .I tsl e s sa r e s s i h a nh e a ytsd o nebya a n . t do y u i ss ut r a z il “ De fin i t e l yt h ef o od .
v er y
lt
el l
u g h y o u o b v i o u sl y a r en ’t
i n in g f r s u s
e
ck h
e
W H AT IS TH E L AR G ES T N U M B E R O F P E O PL E Y O U H A V E R O O T E D AT T H E O N E T IM E ?
“ On l yon e .Ia mn otaf a no g r o ups e x
400 HOMIESWITH H O BBI E S
Me and my good friend had a crazy night”
display in the m iddle of a festival,in a tree, in a tree house… ”
DEVƒ
A T IS T H E L A R G E S T N U M B E R O
NEWTOWN, NSW
P EO P L E Y O U TI
E
V E
O O T ED A T T H E O N E
“The biggestnum ber so far has been
Tw enty-y ear-old m odelD eva can run her
a free agenttravelling the w orld for new
three.I had a crush on this guy because he
fingers up o ur fretboards any tim e.“Playing
experiences.”
looked like a rock star called Matty H ealy,so
guitar is an expression of the soul and m y favourite m usicians are L ed Z eppelin,A m y Winehouse,The 1975 and E d Sheeran.I’m
o pe f ys o meo f e s ea r e OUTDOORROOT “Too m any tim es.” k et o om c hof a tse v e rp os sb l e a m s o mel o c ao n “O n an airplane, in a garden
m e and m y goo d friend had a crazy nightand got a bitw ild.There w as also a m iniorgy w e had w ith three couples. ”
3
H o m e G ir ls FLASHBACKFEB2 Y R EE
B RISB AN E, QL D Y es, they re real,”con rmed 21-year-old Kyree and she wasn’t talki ng about her eyelashes. “Ev erybody seems to ask me. They re 12E and all-natural.” av e y o n a ed ’em y et “Y es, the left one is called Bill and the right one is called Bob. I guess they re called men s names because men are the ones who like to play with them.” er en ’t th ey i n th at o e i th … No, that was Billy Bob Thornton.”O K . o th e e er ca se trou le “Y es. M y ex always used to get into fights because people would stare at them. Otherwise, they re really good value.” l l e e s eei ng or e of B il l an d B ob th is s u er ? “If you re at the beach, you might do. My bikini top is tiny and nearly always comes off when I m in the surf.”B O I N G
4
b i k i a n da la y c o me so f
My fave possie is when I m on top”
S O P H IE NE WC ASTLE,NSW
“ Ia n ta n t at ob n g eap up pyt h i s ta s , ”s a i dS p he .“ I ’ v ea l r e a d y tac a t , ts h ej u s tse esa l l et ie . I
OTH E R P U SS
gmu
e n “ I tsg e t ge n , tI ’ k et ome e tan e wg uys o on . yf a v o u p os sei swh e n mo no pH d o n t o ud o o r s “ Ye s , o nc ea th eb e ac h nt h ewa t e r . J u s t a th emo me n t ewe r c la xn g, ahe lc op t e rfl e wo ve rt h eo p fs .T h i2 7y e a ro l a l e s a s sa n e c k o n o to fo r e p l a y
g o o d a yn t
“ Ae n s eo fh u mo u rg o e sal o n g a y , An dy o u re x i e s t o u t fi t i “ r ta ys u,fc or s e”
h e r p a n
6 5
H o m e G ir ls We decided to go home and play with each other”
U TL E R “M
y fav
e
y
L
ur ite f ea t ur e
ƒ
ul d
“ T a k in
utt ” b r a g s 2 1 - y ea r - l d
er i a l G r a c e. I’ e
A
ut
AT S T
I t s a f e tu re
a d t a t h a s st
d
N
ut
W h ic h lu ck y bu gg ers get to have a little play with it? a m ily .
e and ent to
y fe
ale
est f ri end
ur l ca l p ub a n d
t
f a i r ly ti p sy . W e deci ded to e and
ea c
t er
E LA
B E R OF
E T
EO LE
O
A V E R OOT E D AT T E ON E
l e l if e a n d i t r uns i n
“M
tur ns l ic i n
O h , t h at .
l a y w i th ea c h o t er
A n ic e ga me of ba ck ga mm on ?
T t
E o
i v e: t r ee u s.
irls nd
ne ni g h t
e
er e
a v i ng dr i n s a t a f r ien d’ s l a c e t l k i ng
u t e c h o t er s’ sex u a l
d v e nt ur es. A e dec ided to d en tu re
lo t
f te u i la l a t er
a v e a sex u a l
f o ur
n.
T OP T IT S
to add fu rther ad ent res to y ou r s exu al re ertoire I love the beach and having sex on a boat would be my ultimate fantasy. I enjoy a male being dominant in the bedroom, but never outside. There I’m the boss.”
D E S T IN Y GLENELG SA
I decided to pose nude for T E P I T E because I needed to be more adventurous and spontaneous,”says 22-year-old Destiny. I am a nice girl with a wild, kinky side.”
i n y s i des m eet i th o r a r o al . T el l s s o m eth in g o u ’ v e do ne. I ve had sex on camera and I love it. It makes me feel hornier watching myself get off.” A ny lan
“I enjoy a m ale being dom inant in the bedroom ”
WHAT IS TH P OPL
ARG S T N MB R O
YOU HAV
ROOT D ATTH ON
One night my old partner and I got drunk and had a threesome with our housemate.” TIM ?
C O
R T N E
BR AYBR OO K, VIC
T his is probably the naughtiest thing I ve ever done,”confesses 1 -year-old Braybrook local, Courtney. “ I wasso nervous, but I’ m really glad I did it. Maybe you can talk a few of your m ates into
I actually tried to get one of my friendsto come along but she chickened out. She’ s the only one who I told about what I wasdoing.”Why’d ya decide giving ita crack?
to getyour kitoff for Australia’s G RO USE ST m agazine? I guess
I’ m a bit of an exhibitionist. But
a shy one, if that makessense?” In the w ords ofa fam ous ranga fish’n’chip shop ow ner – please
I like the idea of being naked around people but I m too scared to actually do it! So I think thisis a really great way of people seeing me naked without actually stripping off in public.”B rains explain…
AN D beauty - the w hole package!
HATI STHELARGEST NU BEROFPEOPLEYOUHAVE ROOTEDATTHEONETIE? Just one.
“I’m a bitofan exhibitionist”
FLASH FOR CA$H! Wanna be a Hom e Girl? Send us your pics and if they r e suitable for publication in one of the categories below AN D WE PRINT THE M, we ll fling you the appropriate cash. S o get snapping, fill in the coupon, and see you nude soon!
$100 $100 $150 $200 $400
Topless Homie Bag Girl Home Girl Bea ut Bum / Top Tits Bedroom Bab e / Homie on Holiday / Homie with Hobbies
$400 Home G irl of the Week SendyoursnapstH
E
IR LS TH E P IC TU R E
. Eachphot omust besi gne onhebac byt heHom Gi GP
Bo x52
Y e sI
S dn
NS W
a n t b e Ho m G ilp l e a s e tk )
Iherebygi veTHEPCTURE agazi netheri ghtt opubli shoneormoreofhe encl osedphot osofme.Igi veperm ssi on ormyphototobeusedon he nt er net ,an on S,SM orDVD Yes, I wan t my phot ogr aphs to be publ ished in the nex t Ho me Gir ls An nual for which I wil l be paid $20 at tim e of publ ication . By signingthis agreement I signify I have read, understand and agree to be bound by the important Terms and Conditions below. I m p o r t a nt T e r IC
400 HO M IE O F THE WEE
E
s a n d C o n d i ti o n s 1 . I a c k n o w l ed g e a n d a g r ee t h a t th e p u b l i s h er o f T H E
ag azine,
auer
e di a L t d , i t s l i ce ns ee s o r a s si g n s
t h e p u b l i c a ti o n o f t h e p i c t ur es o f m e i n a n y l a y o u t o r fo r m a t , i n r es tr i ct i o n a s t o c h a n g e s o r a l t er a t i o n s t ex t a n d / o r g r a p h i c s i t ch o e di a
t d th e
s es
adefrom
a y p u b l i sh o r a u t h o r i s e h o l e o r i n p a r t,
ithout
t i m e t o t i e a n d a c c o m p a n i ed b y a n y
i t h o u t f u r th e r r ef e r en c e t o m e . 2 . I h e r eb y a s s i g n to B a u e r
o r l d i de c o p y r i g h t to t h e p h o t o g r a p h s a n d a c k n o w l ed g e t h a t B a u e r
ed i
t d m a y e x er c is e a l l o f th e r i g h t s o f t h e co p y r i g h t o w n er i n r es p ec t o f t h e p h o t o g r a p h s , i n c l ud i n g u si n g o r l i c en si n g t h e
ublication of the ph oto gra
h s i n o t h e r p u b l i c a t i o n s a n d u si n g
o r l i ce ns in g t h e p u b l i c a ti o n o f t h e p h o t o g r a p h s i n a n y f o r m a t i nc l ud i ng ,M
S,
r e l a t ed c o
M
o r t h e I nt er net . 3 . I r el ea s e
p a n i es a n d a s s i g n s fr o m
b u t no t l i m i t ed to )
a u er M ed ia L t d i ts e m p l o y ees, a g e nt s
a l l a c t i o n s, su i t s, c a u se s o f a c t i o n s , c l a i m s a n d de m a n d s
h a t so e v er w h i c h I m a y h a v e a t a ny t i m e i n c o n nec ti o n w i th t h e p h o t o g r a p h s o r a r i si ng f r o m o r r el a t i n t o t h e i r p u b l i c a t io n i n p r i n t o r e l ec tr o n i c m e di a , i n cl u di n g a n y l i a b i l i ty b y v i r t u e o f a n y b l u r r i n g , d i st o r t i o n , a l t er a t i o n , co n t e x t o r o t h e r w i s e, i n c l ud i n g b u t no t l i m i t ed t o ) a n y a c t io n f o r d ef a m a t i o n . 4 . I a c k n o w l ed g e t h a t p e r so n s se nd i ng H o m e
i r l s p h o t o s w i t h o u t th e
r i tt en p e r i ss io n o f t h e s ub j e ct w i l l b e l i a b l e t o c r i m i n a l p r o s ec ut i o n .
NAM E A D D R E SS
PO ST C O D E D A T E O F B IR T H P H O N E I N C L U
E
R EA
C O
E
O R H O O B
E L E
SIG N AT U R E Please tickif you do not wish us to provide information about you to any organisationnot associated with this competition. See page 0 for Privacy Notice.
er
C
EE
A type ofcoffee called Kopiluw ak is m ade from coffee beans that’ve been eaten and SHAT OUT by a cat-like critter called the Indonesian palm civet.Itsells at aroun d A$1000 a kg,or $40 a cup in ya localcafé.
In Am sterdam ,“coffee sh op” is just code for “dope shop” ’cos they m ainly sellm ary-w ana.You can still geta nice latte in m ost ofthem ,though.
Irish coffee w as invented by Joe Sheridan ,an chef,in the late 40s.When passengers arrived atthe localPan Am term inalon a w inter’s night,Joe bun ged alilIrish w hiskey in their coffee to cheer ‘em up.Diddley dee!
King C harles II ofEn gland tried to B AN coffee h ouses in 1676 ’cos he reckoned coffee- drinkers w ere a row dy lotw ho m ight chuck out the m onarchy. This pissed offthe popu lation so m uch the ban w as overturned w ithin a cou ple ofdays.
You could run your car on leftover coffee grounds,according to a study by the Am erican Chem icalSociety.They found thatused coffee grounds are up to 20% oil, and cou ld be an alternative fuelsou rce w hen the bastard petrolcom panies hike the price up again.
Joseph Sm ith,founder ofthe Morm on Church,claim s that one ofthe law s god h anded h im PERSONALLY in 1833 w as a ban on coffee.According to Sm ithy, god’s m ore ofa m ango sm oothie kinda gu y. In 1777,Frederick the Great ofPrussia also tried toban coffee.He said itendangered the cou ntry’s beer indu stry,and that beer w as a m uch better brekky drink. No argum entthere! Another SHITTY B REW is B lack Ivory coffee,w hich sells forA$ 1400 a kilo,or $70 a cup,from northern Thailand. Excep tthis tim e it’s sh at outby elephants not cats.
I t w o u ld t a k e b e tw e e n 7 0 a n d 1 0 c u p s o fc o ff e e ,d ru n k v e ry q u ic l y , t o k il l yo u ST ON E DEA D w it h a c a ff e in e o ve rd o se . B u t if yo u d id n ’t d e , y o u ’d p ro b ab ly m o w t h e l a w n in r e co r d t i m e .
Honour those who served our nation courageously For over one hundred years – from the shores of Gallipoli to the deserts of the Middle East – Australia’s servicemen and woman have fought to preserve freedom wherever the spectre of tyranny lies. Now you can honour their courage when you proudly wear the “Lest We Forget Men’s Leather Bracelet,” a dramatic new fine jewellery creation only from The Bradford Exchange. The superb hand-crafting begins with the handsome twin bands of genuine leather. Strong and durable, they bring a touch of the past into a design which is truly timeless. At the centre of the bracelet, a gleaming cylinder plated in precious rhodium-platinum features an iconic slouch hat motif embraced by a laurel wreath. A verse from the Ode of Remembrance is engraved on the reverse of the cylinder: “At the going down of the sun, we will remember them”. Sized at 23cm to fit most wrists, t he bracelet closes with a unique stainless steel magnetic clasp, making it easy to put on and take off.
Lest We Forget MEN’S LEATHER BRACEL ET
Exceptional Value. Money-Back Guarantee. This custom-crafted bracelet is a remarkable value which can be yours for just 3 instalments of $49.99 or $149.97, plus $14.99 postage and handling. Your satisfaction is assured with our 120-day money-back guarantee. This limited time offer is available only from The Bradford Exchange, so don’t delay. To reserve, send no money now. Return the coupon or go online today at www.bradford.com.au/lwf
For quickest delivery, order online: w w w . b r a d f o rd . c o m . a u lw f Q u o tn gp r o mo to nc o d e :8 79 4
everse side engraved with words from the Ode of emembranc e Reverse
©2016 The Bradford Exchange Ltd. A.B.N. 13 003 159 617
503-SA152.01
Lest We Forget Gold Ladies Poppy Watch Beautiful poppies dance in the breeze, their crimson elegance a symbol of life’s fragility... The ‘Lest We Forget’ Diamond Poppy Charm Watch is a unique commemorative, exclusive to The Bradford Exchange. Expertly crafted by hand, this precision timepiece showcases rich gold-plating and a classic pearlescent face embellished with vivid red poppy blooms in addition to a genuine diamond and Swarovski crystals surrounding the bezel. An inspirational enamel poppy charm set with another Swarovski is elegantly suspended from the polished bangle-style strap.
Limited to just 4,999 editions – Reserve your exquisite timepiece today!
A
e n g rv eh ere l
r i b u o nh er e v e r
This tribute is limited to just 4,999 editions worldwide and is accompanied by a custom-designed presentation case, a Cer tificate of Authenticity and our famous 120-day guarantee. It is available for just 5 instalments of $39.99 or $199.95, plus $19.99 postage and handling. To reserve, send no money now. Just complete the coupon or go online today at www.bradford.com.au/lwf L v i nm l p o p p y
For quickest delivery, order online: w w w . b r a d f o rd . c o m . a u lw f Q uo tn gpo mo to nc od e : 87874 2016TheBradfordE changeL td.A.B.N.13003159617
THE BRADFORD EXCHANGE Please Respond Prom ptly
hr u s p e n d so m h e r o f t h ew
526-B1167.03
PA Y N O T H IN G N O W Reserve yours today. 3 easy opti ons: Mr/Mrs/Miss/Ms__ __ __ __ _ First Name: _ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __
1.MAIL nostamprequired,to: S urname: _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
YES! Pleasereservethe“The
The B radford Exchange,Reply Paid 86369
Veterans
Rem e m b ered Wristban d” asdescribedin this
advertisement.IunderstandI needpaynothingnow.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ Postcode: _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
YES! Pleasereservethe“ Lest We Forget’
Phone: _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Diam ond Poppy Charm Watch” asdescribedinthis
Parram atta NSW 2124
Address: _
advertisement. IunderstandIneedpaynothingnow. E mail: _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ Please allowupto10 business days for delivery. All sales subect to product availability andreservationacceptance. Credit criteria may apply. Our privacy policy is available onlineat www.bradford.com.au. Fromtimetotime, wemay allowcarefully screenedcompanies tocontact you. If youwouldprefer not toreceivesuchoffers, pleasetickthisbo .
or
2.PHONE:Toll-Free 1300 725 103 8am - 5pm E.S.T Mon–
Fri
3.ONLINE at w w w .bradford.com .au/lw f
or
uotingpromotioncode: 87904 Wristband 87874 Watch