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P e r f o m o r lias a Rat o r Liouso t r a p i n p o c k o t w i t h t h o S p r i n g weakened rand when h i s liond o r t h o hand o f a P l a n t g o o o t o p o c k e t f o r s o n e t h i n g i t c o n e s o u t w i t h tlio t r a p on i t 5 s e n d . When u s i n g a ' i r i c ! : F u n n o l t o c o t v j a t o r out o f B o y ' s e l b o w , i n p l a c i n g o f Pimping Mrs o t h e r a m , h a v e a n o t h e r b o y pimp t h i s b o ' y s I c e up end down» " Very I'uimy, I n d o i n g a h a t l o a d o f any typo o f p r o d u c t i o n liavo a doacn 3 o r 4 i n c h d i s c o f t i n t h r o u h g o u t tlio l o a d , e v e r y o n c e i n a w h i l e y o u d i s c o v o i a f o r ; i n t h e Hat and throw then 011 t h o in disgust. Hand a I'iagozino t o none one and a ale t h e n t o open I t f r e e l y t o any pa GO, a f t e r tliey do t h i s tliey e x p e c t a b o o k t o o t , b u t y o u t o l l t h e n t o GO r i g h t aft,oad and r o a d - y o u r A c t i n n o t s o h o t anyway. When y o u r e t u r n t o tlio P l a t f o r m empty y o u r P o c k e t s , t a k i n g o u t w a t c h e s . stick~pihs,noney e t c . Very f u n n y , V/hcn P e r f o m o r e n t e r s ho says s o m e t h i n g noons t o bo n i s n x n g . Then p l a n t i n a u d i e n c e b l o w s 011 a H a a s c r , P e r f o r m e r s a y ! s " T h a t ' s i t " Ilayc a p e r con s e l e c t , a C a r d , 'xlien a s k t h e n what i t i n » when t l i c y nano i t y o u a c t s u r p r i s e d and s a y "Oh| e You have s e e n the t r i c k b e f o r e " P e r f o m o r announces t h a t a f t e r Iionday-Tuosday~and Wednesday,wo have 'i'htiroday-Friday-and S a t u r d a y ,
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P e r f o m c r f i r e s a gun a t c o n o t h i n g and two o r t h r e e dead ducks f a l l denv f r o r i the f l i e s . A f t e r p e r f o m o r works a t r i c k tv;o l a r c o p a p o r riaeho hands on t h o end o f s t i c k cone out o f t h e s i d e w i n g s mid C l a p . . A t t h e f i n i s h o f t h e A c t o r some t r i c k , t w o a s s i s t a n t s c a r r y i n a l r g o b a n n e r , i t s a y s II i l r , . . , » v ; i l l a c c e p t a p p l a u s e . . Have a h o l l o w r u b b e r b a l l w i t h p i n - h o l e i n i t . , a n d f u l l o f w a t o r . Have t h i s p a i n e d and a s you h a n d l e b o y f r o n a u d i e n c e , w a t e r s n u i r t e of various places of boy. • P e r f o m o r a s k s i f anyone has an o g g . P l a n t i n r o a r c a l l s o u t " I f I had an e g g y o u would have had i t a l o n g w h i l e a g o " .
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Dnxing your a i t aosx-dtant kcopo e n t e r t a i n i n g vrith a p l a t e v/ith on ogg ion and a a j a "How" and you nod your licad "lIo M F i n a l l y when you want t h o OGG, you have t o c a l l him, end an Iio e n t e r s v/ith i t lie s t u b s h i s t o e mid breaks tho egg. l0« Have 3 c a r d s s e l e c t e d and s h u f f l e d b a d : i n t o the d e c k , Ac!: i f iiiqy vjant them one a t a time o r alt.OGother. I f t h e y say one a t a t i n e , s t a r t ' / c a l l i n g the d e c k o f c a r d s t o t h e n one a t a t i n e . I f t h e y nay a l t o g e t h e r , throrm tho e n t i r e dock a t t h e n (tlion duel:} V I J t / X S t a t e you have a number p r o b l e m . You have 15 c a r d s and take away 3 s then t a k e back o n e , n e x t tnl.ee away 7 , then t a k e back 5 e t c . A l l t h i s t i n e t h o y ore f i g u r i n e out how many cards you a r o g o i n g 2 t o have l o f t . At t h e f i n i s h rteiiEsa a ok then how riany t i n e s you t o o l : c a r d s a m y , *
20, While p e r f o r m i n g a t a Snoko g o t a nan up t h a t i n or.olcing a c i g a r . I n the r i i d d l o o f tho t r i c k t a k e tho c l e a r out o f h i s noutli and throw i t away. 2 1 , X" VJhon a nan cones up t o h e l p at tlio f i n i s h r o a c h to y o u r t o p v e s t p o o k o t , a t the sane t i n e o n o u i r e i f ho e n o k e s , I f lie s a y s y e s , t e l l h i n t o t r y and a t o p i t as i t i s a v e r y bad l i a b i t . 22, P e r f o m e r i s l o c k e d i n a packing b o x and rakes a 2 second o s o a p o . As © D i s t a n t c a r r i o s box o f f s t a g e he a c c i d e n t a l l y ? t u r n s i t around ancl t h e r e i s a b i g h o l e i n Tlio r e a r o f the b o x . 23, Tel 1 boy t o koop one eye 011 your l o f t hand, one on y o u r r i g h t and the o t h e r eye on tho t a b l e . 24« Your a s s i s t a n t e n t e r s and says "Good n o r n i n g " You s a y "Goocl a r t o r n o o n " He says " G o o d n i g h t " then you say " I on g&ad t h a t t h o day i s over 1 ' 25.
E v e r y t h i n g you use i n your a c t c a l l i t by tho wrong n o n e ,
26. Have a conLiittoo man s i t i n a c l i a i r and you s i t on apparent v i s i b l e c h a i r t o one s i d e o f h i n an jfaa t a l k n c r e l y by g e t t i n g a s i t t i n g p o s i t i o n . To a l l i n t e n t s ancl purposes y o u are s i t t i n g on a c h a i r the sane as he i s , 27.^ClIave a l o n g s t r i p o f wliito c l o t h about 6 f t , l o n g s t i c k i n g out breast pocket. To wipe sweat frcn. brow y o u draw t h i s l o n g c l o t l i .
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Y/hilst boy i s h e l p i n g s o c r e t / l y p i n ono o f tho t a i l s on h i n .
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^7, Ilyve j u s t the metal c l i p p a r t of a smallpocket b o o k . I n .other hand have soouo c o i n s p a i n e d . Open thosnop on n o t a l fromo work and pour c o i n s out o f some inte o t h e r hand. This i s a g r e a t impromptu s t u n t , 4 8 . ! ( Your A s s i s t , lias a f a k o button on v o s t , Fron Button goos a thread dovm t r o u s e r s l e g with v/oight on i t s o n d . You p u l l b u t t o n armorently o f f , then when you l o t go o f i t , i t f l i e s back i n t o p l a c e * 49. VHion boy i s up h e l p i n g you p o i n t t o an i n v i s i b l e c l r i r and ask h i n to s i , , r i g h t doim i n the r o c k i n g c h a i r , 5 0 . V/liilo boy i s up you l o o k a t h i s hands and say I s e c y o u have been walking on y o u r hands a g a i n . 51. P c r f om.or carics on w i t h a v i o l i n ease opens i t and r c n o v o s a dock o f cards and s t a r t s doing card t r i c k s . 52. V/hen a boy goes t o shako hands vrith^you b r i n g your knee up i n t o h i s hand»
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Always funny t o have a boy enpty h i s P o c k e t , f o r t h e y u s u a l l y I v v e an a s s o r t m e n t . Then p u l l s c o o t h i n g e x t r a o u t ,
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On a w a l l o r s c r e e n liofee a s n a i l n a i l . You e n t e r and t o Jiang your hat drat; a p i c t u r e o f a liook w i t h a p i e c e o f c h a l k and hang y o u r c o a t o n , Have two men s t o p forward and borrow a h a l f d o l l a r f r o n each* Hold one i n each hand,then o p e n l y change then f r o n ono hand t o t h o o t h e r . Ask.nan i f the c o i n In your l e f t hand I s h i s . He s a y ' s "Uo" as i t i s h i s i n tho r i g h t hand. Ask o t h e r nan i f tho ono i n y o u r r i g h t hand I s h i s , ho s a y ' s " I l o " . Then you say t o , " I n t h a t c a s e they n u s t be n i n e " Then you Pocket t h e n . T h i s i s ono o f C h a r l i e i:'agios Gags*
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6 3 . Assistant crosses stage carrying a Horse's feed bag. J/orfomor inquires y/'what he I s d o i n g . He s a y ' s , " I ' v e g o t a date w i t h a g i r l and I heard / V she e a t s l i k e a H o r s e , 64.
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H. S n a i l t o y auto r o l l s i n on stage end behind s e r e oat (by t h r e a d ) n r f o r a c r s t o p s o u t f r o n behind the s c r e e n . .
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. 5* V/hon i n t r o d u c i n g a p e r f o r m e r s t a r t him o f f l i k e a r a c e , c o u n t ono wo t h r o o then f i r o cap gun and ho s t a r t s i n t o h i s a c t . '4* At f i n i s h o f a c t hand tho e n t e r t a i n e r a r o s e a s ho r e a c h e s f o r i t , i t l i e s o f f star-e, thanks t o c l a s t i c , J . 15, Intsjjxluco E n t e r t a i n e r . Ho o n t o r s and wants t o I m o v i f y o u i n t r o jucodhin \;o a l l t h o s e p o o p l o . You say m I o s " then he s a y ' s "Who i s t h a t fiito l i t t l e g i r l i n such and such a c h a t " |G» I'orfoiTior a l t e r s and s a y ' s he w i l l have t o i n t r o d u c e h i n s o l f as idle i . C , i s m i s s i n g , II.C, e n t e r s end wants t o laiow w h a t ' . ' m i s s i n g . Performer [ a y ' s "Tho 2 d o l l a r s 1 owo y o u " . |7« When 11,0, i n t r o d u c e s U a g i c i a n he says "When l i p , Blank was born tho .Jr. s a i d i t ' s a b o y " lie rzqz s t u c k i n h i a l i p and s a i d What's more i t s a "logician, T h a t ' s how e a r l y he s t a r t e d t o f o o l x^ooplo, [u. P l a n t f r c m a u d i o n c e g o e s t o s i t i n c h a i r and your as s i t t . k o d p s hawing i t back s l o w l y by t h e a i d o f a s t r i n g . Plant f o l l o w i n g chair in a s i t t i n g p o s i t i o n , u n t i l lie f i n a l l y s i t s on i t , o r m i s s e s i n l a s b kttorapt find lands on f l o o r , i P l a c - egg i n b o y ' s r o o r p o c k e t , s u b s t i t u t e i t f o r a lemon, l a t e r ask f o r i t had ho c c n o s out w i t h the lemon, feo. Ask boy i f ho would l i k e t o s e e something f u n n y . Then hand, h i n a t'uimy p a p e r . t)l. Put a wig on b o y ' s head t o keep h i s h a i r f r o n standing on cfltl f r o m fbho m y s t e r y i n tho n e x t t r i c k * 32, V/rap an egg i n a Hank, a l a ogg bag but s w i t c M n g i t f o r an o n i o n , tls you hand i t t o boy he drops i t , When p i c k e d up i t p r o v e s t o 15b an o n i o n . 6 3 . Have a paper bag w i t h an X c u t i n the b o t t c o w i t h a r a z o r b l a d e , Ask boy t o drop egg hi bag and i t goos r i g h t through 011 t o p a p e r on f l o o r . 8 4 . T6Mk boy t h e r o a r e s p i & i t s i n the n e x t t r i c k and as I o n s a s h o does not s m e l l them he w i l l n o t g e t s c a r e d , s o c l i p a c l o t h e s p i n on h i s n o s e , ' 85, You w r i t e a p r e d i c t i o n 011 a s l a t e then have s e v e r a l w r i t e f i g u r e s on a pad and add then uv>. Ask r e s u l t then turn s l a t e around end i t says " I guess you are s i g h t " .
, -Bet y o u con c u t tlio d o c k f a c t o r than anyone e l s e . You c u t d o c k t h e n c o t t e r c a r d s on f l o o r and a s k ncssb nan t o t r y 'bo b e a t y o u r t i n e , 7, Geo i e h c o n g o t t h e o t h e r s c o a t on tlio q u i c k e s t vhon y o u r o n o v o jours p u l l s l e o v o a i n s i d e out as y o u p u l l i t o f f , U k ' Ask someone t o t h i r l : o f a s i n g l e number b o t u e e n ono and t h r e e , 'flicn fcf.o t h e n t c b o r t h e y a r e t h i n k i n g o f (darn c l e v e r t h e s e C l i i n o s o ) P a s s a r e a l e g g around, and nv/itch i t f o r a r u b b e r o n e , ra?ap i n l i a l : Mid b o r a e o on f l o o r . On unwranTdng i t s w i t c h a g a i n . i t. jjQ* At a J.T.agic H o o t i n g r,ut a s a u c e r :ln y o u r f r i e n d ' s b l a c k a r t Y / C L L , G i v e v i c t i m a, h a l f a d o c k o f c a r d s , t o l l h i n t o g o out I n t h e h i l l 1 end t u r n tho c a r d s o v e r one a t a t i n e and nlion he c o n e s b a c k y o u Y ; i l l ' t o l l him tlionomo o f t h e l a s t c a r d I10 t u r n e d o v e r . While ho i s o u t o f t i e h ® to® l o a n a card, up a g a j n s t t h e d o o r . As ho e n t e r s t h a t Yd 11 be t h o ' l a s t c a r d ho turned o v e r , (Oh Ycli) 02, : I f anyone remarks a b o u t a c i g a r you gavo then s a y t h e y t u o f o r a 'quarter d i g a r s . You gave t h e n t h o n i c k e l o n e . (93« When y o u r f r i e n d g o e s t o s e l e c t a c a r d s l a p h i s hand a n d s - y "Hot j^i-at o n e " E o p o a t a s many t i n e s as p o s s i b l e , j^.
P l a c c a pioce o f c o p p e r Y j i r o .in a c i g a r e t t e and f r i e n d w i l l bo u n a b l e freem c i g a r e t t e a l i g h t . Ac t h o c o p p o r v d r o a b s o r b s a l l t h e h e a t ,
"93• Have a s n a i l I d e c e o f f l a s h p a p e r In tlnrnfi t i p , When y o u d r o p l i g h t e d c i g a r e t t e I n hall!:, t h e r e i s a f l a s h o f M r c f j u s t b e f o r e t h o c i g a r e t t e v o n i alios, ^ V 90*f\ Have one p e r s o n l e a v e t h e fcoora as y o u v;ant t o make a p r e d i c t i o n t o tho r e s t on t h o c a r d he Y;I11 t a k e , A f t e r ho l o a v o s t o l l the r e s t y o u v d l l m k o h i n s a y YJhat t h e b r i d e s a i d on h e r n o d d i n g n i g h t . When I10 r o - • t u r n s f a n c a r d s o u t f o r s e l e c t i o h , a s he t r i o s t o t a k e o n e , h o l d t h e c a r d s t i g h t s o he c a n n o t ror.iovo the c a r d , Then Y J h a t o v o r I10 s a y s ah o u t t i l s p e c u l i a r a c t i o n o f y o u r s w i l l be a p p r o p r i a t e f o r t h o a b o v e p r e d i c t i o n , 9 7 , B e t y o u can l a y a n a t c h on the f l o o r and v i c t i n c a n n o t s t e p o v e r A f t e r tho h o t i s u n d o , l a y match on f l o o r a g a i n s t tho Y / a l l , You v/in, 9O, I f s c n o o n o a t n o x t m o o t i n g i n t e n d s t o t h o s i l l : t o e g g t h e n how i t i n d o n e . S w i t c h a h a r d b o i l e d e g g o n ' h i n and Yratch h i s
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9 9 , W h i l e v;alking down t h e s t r e e t Y ; : t t h s o c o n e smoking a c i g a r horrovj i t t o l i g h t a c i g a r e t t e t h e n u n c o n s c i o u s l y ? throw H i e c i g a r away as y o u would a match and g o r i g h t on t a l k i n g , 1 0 0 , Hold y o u r hand i n f r o n t o f your f a c e and ahk a p e r s o n to t r y and h i t y o u r hand* As he t r i o s p u l l y o u r hand avjay. ( T h i s l a s t one i s one t h e house) Published by U.F. Grant.
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