31 Days to Better Game PDF

31 Days to Better Game: www.tsbmag.com

31 Days to Better Game 31 Lessons that will take your game to next the next level By Bobby Rio (With Contributing Authors where noted )

31 Days to Better Game

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Bobby Rio


The 31 Days to Better Game seri s ran at TSB Magazine during the summer of 2008. I’ve been getting a lot of requests to cre te an ebook specifically for all of the lessons so here it is. This is the complete 31 Days to etter Game series that I ran here at TSB Maga ine. Here you will find all of the topics in one asy place so you can come back and reference them at any time.

What is the 31 Day Project About? To put it most simply s imply – it's a mo th long series of posts here at TSB Magazine esigned to walk you through 31 tasks that you ca do to take your game to a higher level. You can read more about how the project works and how to participate in my first lesson. lesson. I would also like to thank all of t e guest authors who submitted some really gre t posts to make this series special. To Keep up to date with future p ojects like this subscribe to TSB’s RSS feed. feed. The Lessons Day 1- Designing Your Life


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31 Days to Better Game: www.tsbmag.com Day 2- Developing Your Inner Game Day 3- Updating Your Look Day 4- Always be Advertising Day 5- Being the High Status Male Day 6- How to Get Good at Flirting Day 7- Approaching and Opening Made Simple Day 8- Improving Your Conversation Skills Day 9- How to Build Comfort with Women Day 10- Developing Your Sense of Humor Day 11- How to Master Push/Pull and Cocky Funny Day 12- Body Language 101 Day 13- Building Your Social Circle Day 14- How to Tease a Girl Day 15- How to Create a Kick-Ass Myspace or Facebook Profile Day 16- Flirting Online Day 17- Phone Game Strategy Day 18- Text Game for the Pua Day 19- First Date Survival Guide Day 20- How to Get a Second Date Day 21- How to Build Sexual Tension Day 22- Preparing Your Bachelor Pad for Women Day 23- An Intro to Using Kino Day 24- Body Language 202 31 Days to Better Game

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Bobby Rio

31 Days to Better Game: www.tsbmag.com Day 25- Being the Fearless Badboy Day 26- Turning a Friend into a Lover (part 1) Day 27- Making a Female Friend Your Girlfriend (part 2) Day 28- Managing a Relationship Day 29- Tips for Getting Better in Bed Day 30- Ending a Fling or Relationship Day 31- Run a SWOT Analysis on Yourself


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Day 1 Designing Your Life Written by Bobby Rio Originally Published: 06/10/2008

The first step you need to take to improve any area of your life is determining your desired outcome. The title of this series is 31 Days to Better Game … but “better game” has a different meaning for everyone reading this. In order to fully experience and appreciate the lessons you’ll receive over the next 31 days you need to have a clearly defined end result. Having a clearly defined end result means knowing exactly where you want to be 31 days from now. How will you look after you’ve achieved better game? How will you act? What kind of girls will you be dating? Sleeping with? What will a day in your life look like once you’ve got this area of your life mastered? How will you feel? What kind of thoughts will be running through your mind? These are all questions that you cannot ignore. This step is more important than any lesson you will learn from here on out. If you have had difficulty with talking to women, managing a relationship, building attraction... or any other area of your life… until you develop a clearly defined goal for yourself your mind will continue producing the same results you’ve always gotten. Have you read the book The Secret? Or how about Real Magic? Or Think and Grow Rich? These three books (if read and implementing correctly) are worth their weight in gold. These three books all explore the ancient principle that your mind will create whatever reality you present it. This means that if you consistently think of the lack in your life (of women, money, and friendship) the universe will continue to provide you a life of lack. But if you train your mind to see abundance (of women, money) the universe will provide you a life of abundance. If this sounds new age and hokey… wait a minute. I felt the same way years ago when I was presented with this concept. But I’m going to safely say that it is magic. I want all of you reading this to put aside your personal opinions and judgments and reservations. I want you to trust me to give this a chance. Your Homework

Everyone reading this needs to set aside one hour in a quiet place. Take a pen and paper with you. You need to close your eyes and spend the next thirty minutes visualizing yourself as your


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31 Days to Better Game: www.tsbmag.com Ideal Self. Imagine clearly what you will look like, feel like, and act like once you’ve mastered this area of your life. As you run this image through your mind, pay attention to the way you walk, the way your voice sounds, the thoughts running through your mind, visualize yourself in the company of the woman you want to be with. Clearly imagine the women and note the way you interact with them. After you’ve spent about thirty minutes just completely immersed in this “new you” stop your visualizations and grab your pen and paper. Now I want you to write the most descriptive, thought out, clearly defined, summary of this new you. Write everything in the present tense. For example, suppose in your mind you saw yourself surrounded by a set of beautiful women and they were all laughing and having a good time… you would write “I am confident around large groups of beautiful women and easily create enjoyable conversation while building attraction.” If during your visualization you saw yourself having unbelievable sex with a perfect 10, write ” I am having sex the girl I’ve desired” and so on. The idea here is to create a blueprint of the life you want. It needs to be as detailed as possible. It needs to be filled with emotions and feelings. You need to read this piece of paper and be instantly transported into that reality. Next Every morning when you awaken… take out that piece of paper and read it a few times to yourself. Then close your eyes imagine this reality. See your ideal self. See your ideal life. The entire time you're visualizing this life… let your mind go. You will be tempted to let your negativity and doubt creep in and tell you this isn’t possible... or remind yourself of your shortcoming or flaws… Clear your mind of the negativity and focus solely on “ideal life.” Throughout the day try to remember to keep your self- talk in the positive. Even if you deviate from your “ideal self” in your current reality, continue to talk to yourself positively. “I am always meeting and attracting new interesting girls.” Every night before you go to bed; repeat the ritual of the morning. Lay there holding that image (with feeling) firmly in your mind. See if so real that it feels like you're dreaming. I want each and everyone one of you to do this for one month. Don’t slack. I’m not asking much. There is no hard work involved. I’m not asking you to approach 10 sets a night…. I’m just asking you to spend a half an hour in the morning, and a half an hour in the evening visualizing the life you want. At the end of the 31 days I want feedback on this exercise… I only want feedback from those of you that followed it every day exactly as I’ve stated. The rest of you can keep your excuses I don’t want to hear them. Those that choose to follow this… I know that I will be hearing miraculous stories! If you want some further reading on this subject I highly recommend reading The Secret


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Bobby Rio


Day 2 Developing Inner Game Written by Cajun Originally Published: 06/12/2008

Inner game is probably one of the most popular subjects in the community. It’s a major sticking point for nearly everyone who has trouble talking to women and it’s a problem that can be difficult to fix as well, since it tends to be rooted in a lifetime’s worth of negative beliefs that are based on things like fear and rejection. Inner game is also a topic that I think can only be discussed from a personal level, that is, I can’t convince you how to think or look at life differently, only you can, but I can tell you how I overcame the very same problems, and hope that you can learn from my experiences. So what is it? To me, inner game problems boils down to two things: your experience and your mindset. Every problem you run into with not just women, but life itself, can be attributed to one of these two areas. I’m going to get into both of these, and give some personal insights, so hopefully by the end of this article you’ll have a clearer understanding of what exactly it is that you need to work on to fix your own issues. Experience: When people ask me how I developed my “Rock solid confidence”, I always answer the same; “Practice”. When you think about what confidence actually is you realize that it's simply doing something that you’ve done enough times to be comfortable with. It’s only when were thrown into situations that are unfamiliar to us that we start to lose confidence in ourselves. The sad and somewhat ironic reality is that most men are not comfortable talking to women simply because they don’t talk to women! It’s a negative feedback loop that’s perpetuated by a fear of “what might go wrong”. This is bullshit! To be scared of the possible negative outcomes is to be scared of the very thing that enables you to get better! Think about it this way; when you were learning to ride a bike, were you too scared to get on because of a fear that you might fall down? Maybe, but you got on anyway because you saw how much fun all the other kids were having, even then you realized that the reward was worth the risk. Well this is the same thing, I remember when I first started out with this stuff I used to get drinks thrown in my face, told off, or simply ignored. The first few weeks were rough; it took me a while before I got used to rejection enough that I could understand where I went wrong. 31 Days to Better Game

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Bobby Rio

31 Days to Better Game: www.tsbmag.com Getting used to rejection isn’t easy, but the best advice I can give you is to simply accept it, don’t get mad at her or yourself, don’t go home, just accept that it’s a completely normal, and necessary part of the learning process. You can’t make an omelet without breaking some eggs. The sooner you realize that rejection is a necessary evil, the sooner you can come to terms with it and move past it. Mind Set: Most of us grew up in a society that believed in a 2 concentric circle model of reality. That is, the outer circle being reality, or the world around us, and the inner circle being our consciousness. We experience the outer circle; reality, through our inner circle; our consciousness. This is how we believed reality worked; that our consciousness was independent of it…but recently this all changed. We are now learning through quantum physics that reality is actually the inner circle, and that our consciousness is the outer circle. That is; reality exists inside our mind, we cre ate our own reality with our thoughts (Or beliefs, if you’d rather). What does this mean? As far as any of us know, there may only be 1 reality; your own. Who’s to say I’m not a figment of your imagination, your reality, writing this entire article out to send a message to YOU, from your subconscious mind. It’s possible. The truth is, whether any of us actually exist or not is irrelevant. Life is a game, and it’s a game that a lot of people are scared to play. Don’t be one of them. I recently received an email from a student of mine asking about the power of beliefs, and how they work. I replied with the following: “Think of it this way: what if, let’s say, 15 years from now programmers invent this computer game that is virtually identical to reality. The AI is so smart you can’t tell it’s not a real person. The five senses are so accurately programmed that there is no detectable difference to reality. Now, you get to play this game, but the programmer tells you some hints on how to play, he says this: “This software is programmed to work intuitively with your brain. So, if you want to be, let’s say, a rich Casanova in the game, then all you have to do is believe that you ARE a rich Casanova, and you will become one. The trick is you have to actually believe it, and then the program takes care of the rest. In fact you can have, and be anything you want in this program as long as you ask for it using these “beliefs”. Think of it as your “console hack”" I’m sure you saw this coming, but this “game” already exists and it’s called reality. You become who you believe you are.” Sound a little like the matrix? Well that’s ok, like I said; I can only give advice on inner game from my own personal perspective and this is simply how I believe reality works. I’ll end this article with something that I’ve never written about before:


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31 Days to Better Game: www.tsbmag.com I remember the very night that I became good at attracting women, I remember because I had an epiphany that night and it was so mind-blowing that I had to write it down as soon as I came home. It has since become my mantra, and I know that if down the road I ever forget everything that I’ve learned in the past few years, all I will have to do is read this piece of paper and it will all come back. What does the paper say? “The secret to becoming amazing at attracting women is…to remember that you already a re.” Your welcome, Cajun.


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31 Days to Better Game: www.tsbmag.com Day 3 Updating Your Look Written by Bobby Rio Originally Published:06/13/2008

There is a misused phrase being tossed around in regards to attracting women… “Looks don’t matter.” The phrase should have been worded “Looks only matter so much.” There is no denying that physical attractiveness makes it easier for attraction to take place. But you don’t need to be naturally good looking to make a good first impression. If you’ve read The Game you know that the first advice Mystery gave Neil Strauss was to improve upon his look. He had the less-than-handsome Strauss shave his balding head, get a tan, grow a goatee, hit the gym, and change his wardrobe. If you’ve seen the before and after pictures you know what a drastic improvement these simple steps made. Like Strauss says, “You’ve got to present your best self.” I wrote a post a couple months ago called 10 Ways to Immediately Make Yourself More Attractive. I highly recommend reading over that list. The list includes simple to improve areas like skin color, hair style, smiling, posture and grooming tips. By just implementing these 10 tips you will begin to not only look more attractive, but you will begin to feel much more attractive. What I did not include on that list but is equally important is maintaining a fit body. I’m not saying that you have to look like David Beckham… but you know deep inside if you’re body can be improved upon. If you look in the mirror and see things jiggling, there is no excuse not hit to hit the gym. If you’re unsure of how to lose that extra weight check out this article about shedding unwanted pounds… if you’re looking to gain some muscle read this article on bulking up for the summer. If you want further information on designing a weight loss/muscle gain plan read this free personal trainer program-the site has like five hundred articles on every aspect of weight training and nutrition. After you’ve improved upon the areas of your appearance that need some work… it's time to update your wardrobe. I am not a firm believer in peacocking in the sense that Mystery and Style teach. But I do believe in using clothes and accessories as a way to attract positive attention. More importantly is dressing in a way that promotes your self confidence. If you’ve got little or no sense of fashion than read through our men’s fashion articles here at the site. We’ve had a couple fashion consultants contributing articles to make your choices easier. If you’re still looking for more advice than I would recommend purchasing Brad P’s Fashion Bible. If you still have questions regarding how to go about updating your life you might find an article I wrote for my How to Be Popular in High series helpful. Although the article was geared toward high school students there is advice on creating your image that can be applied to a ll age


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31 Days to Better Game: www.tsbmag.com groups. The article also talks about creating a presence and takes quite a bit from the classic article The 7 Elements of Charisma. Today’s Homework Today you need to make the necessary changes to present your best self. No matter what a rea of your physical appearance (if any) needs an overhaul there is more than enough information contained in this lesson to get you well on your way. Remembers just because “Looks only matter so much” you shouldn’t use that as an excuse to be lazy about your appearance. Would you be attracted to a girl who isn’t doing her best to present herself to you?


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31 Days to Better Game: www.tsbmag.com Day 4 Always be Advertising Written by Bobby Rio Originally Published: 06/16/2008

In a common sale’s office 10% of the salesmen make 90% of the money. Is it because they are that much better salesman? No. It’s because a successful salesman is constantly marketing himself while the other 90% do their 9-5 in the office and call it a day. The biggest mistake most guys tend to make while trying to improve their game is they think that it only counts when they are at a bar or club. They read books, study lines, learn to “be alpha” but they sit in their house all week waiting for the weekend to practice game. I spent this weekend with AFC Adam Lyons from Pua Training in New York. If I had to name the most inspiring thing I got out of the weekend it was Adam’s ability to always “be on.” Adam made the comment several times that he “is game.” And he’s right. No matter who he was talking to he was projecting the same charismatic personality. He didn’t wait until heading to the clubs at night to go into game mode. He lived, breathed, and slept game. Does that mean all you should care about is game? Hell no. It just means that everything you learn needs to be implemented at all times. Always dress to impress. Always be chatting up strangers. Always be opening sets. Always strive t o make your conversations memorable. Always be presenting your best self. A lot guys wonder how come some nights it is so hard to get “in state.” It is so hard for them because all week they’ve created a pattern of bad posture, poor tonality, boring conversation, approach anxiety, and AFC tendencies…. then they expect to miraculously be the life of the party come Saturday night. Every lesson that you learn throughout these 31 days needs to become a new habit in your life. If you’ve just read an article about flirting; start flirting immediately. I don’t care if you have to flirt with your sixty year old neighbor…. you need to always be reinforcing these skills. Once you get in the habit of always reinforcing the skills you’ve been learning, you will find that it becomes a lot easier to get “in state” since you will be spending most of your time in the right frame of mind. More importantly though, is that you will find, like the most successful salesmen, that the best leads come when you least expect it. If you’re always “on” you’ll find that you’ll naturally be attracting more women into your life. Your co-workers who used to ignore you will be asking you to come hang out with them. The counter girl at your local bank will be dropping you IOIs. Always leave the house expecting to meet the girl of your dreams. Because you just don’t know when you will bump into her.


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Bobby Rio

31 Days to Better Game: www.tsbmag.com Day 5 Being High Status Written by Mack Tight Originally Published: 06/17/2008

I was reading Bobby’s recent post “Never Show Emotion When She Walks Away” and al l I could think was “could that dude make it any more obvious that he was low status”? Let me explain… When you think of “high status males” who do you think of? Donald Trump… George Clooney… Kobe Bryant… your favorite politician… Now if any of these guys had an attractive girl make out with them and run off would they set around and pout like a tit baby about it? Fuck no… They are flooded by a large quantity of attractive women in their life… and even if you temporarily took away their money, clothes, cars and made them wear a disguise; any woman would still be able to read that they are high status within minutes of meeting them by the way they talk, act and by their body language. In Wisconsin we deer hunt and my Dad always told me to never cough because a deer’s hearing is much better than a human’s… Well a woman’s “status” senses are far superior to a man’s. Now you might ask why “status” is so important to women. Because with “high status” comes most of the traits women desire in men like security, power, wealth, fame, social acceptance and notoriety. Not only will landing a guy like that make her life better, it will make the life of her kids better and even make her friends jealous and envious. …yes, women are actually very competitive with each other but in more subtle ways than men… So how can women sense your status? They can sense your supply versus your demand… If you are clingy and needy it shows to them that you have a low demand and a high supply. If on the other hand you don’t give a shit when dealing with a hot girl you’re showing your supply is low and your demand is high.


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31 Days to Better Game: www.tsbmag.com Now if a guy’s supply is high and demand low and attractive women is the commodity; the attractive women are going to have a harder time landing this guy’s business. This raises his status to them. Supply and demand is not unique to women and men either… Why is gas $4 a gallon? Supply and demand! Why are diamonds so expensive? Supply and demand! (Thanks to DeBeers) It is like your status is a publicly traded stock when you go into a club and your every action makes it go up and down in value. Here’s another analogy from my childhood… When I was a kid I collected sports cards. There was a term called a “common” for sports cards of a player no one wanted. “Commons” were ummm… common… …don’t be a common! The guy in Bobby’s story showed to everyone in the bar and most importantly to the girl that he was a “common” by gawking at her and pouting. It is quite obvious that an attractive girl kissing him was a “big deal” and a rare occurrence in his life… That made it quite obvious to everyone that he was “low status”. Now similarly, if you go to a car dealership to deal on a car, you always want to give them the impression that there are other dealerships that are in the hunt for your business… If you go to a job interview you want to give the interviewers the impression that there are many companies of courting you… …you are living in a world of opportunities and abundance. Always give the impression that you have options in your life even if you don’t.

Now let me switch things up and touch on some community concepts that hit on the “high status” point… Peacocking

Do you think wearing a pair of Sketchers, some old carpenter pants and a boring t-shirt of your local major sports team screams “I’m high status”? To me it screams “I don’t care how I look, I want to fit in and I’m scared to stand out”! That’s what “peacocking” is all about… having the balls to stand out… …and I’m not talking about even wearing goggles and a fuzzy hat. For example, I recently bought a bright green Paul Frank t-shirt with Julius the monkey on it. What can I say; some like dogs and cats but I LOVE MONKEYS! I had guys busting on me about it but I could HANDLE it. I had women cold approaching ME about the shirt and I went to town from there. I even had some girls who BUSTED on me just 31 Days to Better Game

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31 Days to Better Game: www.tsbmag.com like the guys did but I was able to turn the tables and get attraction from them. I bet everyone of those douche bags who were busting on me went out and bought the same shirt the next day… …but I have a feeling they had no luck with it because they could not properly handle the reactions. High status men do not care what others think. Negging

“Negging” is defined as saying something to an attractive girl that subtly shows her that you are not caught in a hypnotic trance over her beauty. Calling it “negging” was a bad move because people outside of the community assume it is just about putting down women. Sure, some examples involve VERY, VERY subtle comments that could be taken as a backhanded compliment. For example, take Mystery’s “its funny how your nose twitches when you talk” or Neil Strauss’ routine of picking a piece of lint off a girl’s shirt. It is not like you are calling the girl a “bitch” or saying she is “ugly”. You need to differentiate “negging” from being an obnoxious asshole. Many people who are new to the community do not understand how to calibrate proper negging. Basically you are showing her that in a sea of low value ass-kissing chumps you are the one prized high value man who is accustomed to interacting with girls of her level of beauty on a routine basis. She is accustomed to being put on a pedestal by guys staring at her, buying her drinks, endlessly approaching her and showering her with complements… …but you quickly knock her off the pedestal to defuse her defenses. It may sound mean but women WANT to come off their pedestals to meet a high value man like yourself ! Giving/Taking Value

I made a post a while back by Mehow about giving value by being the value. It does a good job of differentiating how needy and high status guys communicate with women. Do you think a rock star that is in town for a tour is going to barrage a girl he just met with a bunch of interview questions? What’s your name? What’s your age? Where are you from? What is your job? HELL NO! For him to ask such personal questions to a girl with them both knowing he will be in a different city the next day would be silly. Instead he is probably going to vibe with her about cool things. Maybe they’ll talk about music or pop culture. He might bring up some stories about something crazy that happened at his last tour stop in New York City.


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Bobby Rio

31 Days to Better Game: www.tsbmag.com Guys often interact with beautiful women by asking endless personal questions and they usually never end up seeing or talking to the girl EVER AGAIN anyway, so it is completely worthless! High status men want to test women before they even care about their personal life. They begin by building comfort and attraction by telling interesting high value stories (such as the rock star’s crazy night at his NYC tour stop). ONLY if the interaction progresses to the point that it EXCEEDS his normal standards does he care to learn the back of baseball card stats of a girl’s personal life. A high status man has many options with quality women just as a quality woman has many options with low status men. The key is that quality women only have limited opportunities to interact with truly high status men. So show them that you are high status from the start and you will make yourself the exception and not the norm . So there you go…

I hope I did a good job of explaining high status to you. I also hope my examples gave you some ideas on how you can raise your status to women even higher. It’s casual, Mack Tight


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Bobby Rio

31 Days to Better Game: www.tsbmag.com Day 6 How to be a Good Flirt Written by Christian Hudson Originally Published 06/18/2008

I was a very boring guy until I turned about 22. My interests used to lie exclusively in history, economics and business, and while this proved an asset in my talks with “adults,” I was completely stilted when you’d throw me into a bar full of people my age. I thought that, somehow, once a girl sensed how deep and concerned about the real world I was, she was bound to be attracted to me. Needless to say, I wasn’t exactly a huge hit around the college bars in Ann Arbor, MI. The inability to be fun and flirtatious is one of the most common problems that men face when they’re learning to get better with women. To this day, it is issue number one amongst the clients with whom I work. While they may have some approach anxiety, it is not necessarily because they are afraid of getting rejected, so much as it is that they are worried the conversation will flatten out and get boring. There’s nothing worse than a girl who, initially, seems to be enjoying her time with you, only to see her attention wane as the conversation starts to get, well, lame. If you’ve ever been talking to a woman and thought to yourself, “man, I’m even boring myself!” then you know exactly what I’m talking about here. A flat conversation is one without any spark, emotion, surprise… it is how you might communicate with your lawyer or your professor. And listen, if you never learned to communicate any other way, that’s fine – you’re in the company of many other men. But let’s learn how to flirt, and add some much-needed texture to the conversation. Flirting is conversational play. Its two people talking about… anything they want (it definitely does not need to be logical)… and pushing, pulling, surprising and rewarding each other. Flirting is YOU and HER – your personality and hers – sharing some basic information and making it more fun. I like to think of it as taking a flat note, hitting it with a bend, and running it through a flanger. Swooosh – instant texture. But perhaps an example is in order. DULL, BORING CONVO F: So where are you from? M: Right, uh… Stains. It's just outside London. F: Ok… how is it there? M: It’s pretty nice. You know, it was a good place to grow up. How about you, where are you from?


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31 Days to Better Game: www.tsbmag.com Here, our man is relaying facts. This conversation is as flat as a deflated blimp, and probably not even as interesting. Key point: the girl is not having FUN sharing this information. Let’s consider a few tweaks. FUN, INTERESTING CONVERSATION F: So where are you from? M: Hmmmm, I’m from… guess where I’m from. (Here you’re creating a little game – more fun) F: Ohhh, ahhh, London. (Note: there are about a million responses she could have here, ranging from “I don’t know,” to “that’s too hard” – we’ll use one of those in a later example), M: Ohhh! So close. You get the Silver Star. (Little reward for playing along). Nope, I’m from Stains. F: Stains… what’s that like? M: Ok, I’ll tell you what it's like… (here you’re “headlining” what you’re going to say, building up anticipation. Now, put your hand on her shoulder and lean into her ear, saying quietly)… but you can’t tell anyone else. (Now, step back, look her in the eye, and say) promise? F: Ok, promise. M: Cool, so check it out… What have we done here? We’ve conveyed the exact same information, but we’ve texturized it with some personality. We’ve made a little game of getting it out of you. There’s a whole mess of other things going on in here - subtle frame control, screening and qualifying - but most importantly, it's made the conversation, and the process of sharing information, a lot more FUN. These exact conversation fragments happened with a boot camp client not long ago; needless to say, after coaching him on how to rock the second one, he was doing a lot better with the ladies. I want to add too – you don’t have to be a dancing ape with your delivery on this one. Too often, our models of fun behavior and delivery are guys who are way over the top, act gay, or have some other presentation style that just smacks of “seduction community.” You can be totally chill, and as long as your delivery includes some warmth and a smile, you’ll be golden. Think Happy Californian Stoner/Surfer. Ok, so let’s consider another example… a girl asks you what you do. This is literally the first question out of the mouth of every girl you meet here in NYC; there must be a book that girls receive when they move here, about how to tell if the guy they’re talking to is going to treat them to Per Se dinners and weekends in the Hamptons. I used to answer this question in one of two ways. One option was to say “Are you qualifying me already?” which girls usually take as offensive and which, 95% of the time, shuts down the conversation. That line works with certain girls, but there’s no algorithm for knowing which – you just need to practice and develop a feel for it. The other thing I’d say was something like “I’m a garbage man,” which is obviously a lie and which, because I’m not being truthful, 31 Days to Better Game

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Bobby Rio

31 Days to Better Game: www.tsbmag.com punished them for asking me about myself. So what’s a fun way to stand out when a girl asks you this question? F: So what do you do? M: Hmmm, I’m a…. guess what I do. (She’s going to have to work harder than her lame ‘How to Separate the Duds from the Studs in NYC’ guidebook told her she would) F: I don’t know. It could be anything. (And she’s not pleased about it!) M: Ok, tell you what… (thinking)… I’ll give you three options. (I wouldn’t play a “reward/punishment” game here if it's early in the conversation, as you’re getting away from the question at that point). F: Ok, that sounds good. M: Ok, option 1… I run a beverage company that produces and markets caffeinated gelatin shots in little one ounce packets. (Lots of detail, fun, interesting) F: Ahhh, ok… M: Option 2: I consult with men on their lifestyles and communications skills – kind of li ke Hitch – to help them meet cooler women and have better social lives (too ridiculous to be true – or is it?) F: hahahaha, right… M: Option 3: I run a software company that builds security software for biotech firms who want to protect sensitive data from being stolen by insiders (sounds legit, too complicated to be a lie) F: Okkkkkk… that’s tough. M: I know, right? But you’ve got the power of your copious intellect. F: Haha, so I’m going to guess option 3. M: Wow, you’re like… kind of right! You get partial credit! That deserves a hug, but no kiss on the cheek yet. (Give her a little hug) F: Wait what do you mean partial credit? M: Well… I’ve actually done all three. F: So you’re an entrepreneur! M: Yeah, exactly. Damn, you’re wicked smart. And so on. This is a conversation I have, frequently almost verbatim, and helps me avoid talking about the coaching stuff because I’ll steer it into talking about jello shots or software. Of course, the way that you present something like this may vary; one way you might want to present it is to throw in your job, described very interestingly, along with two hobbies, described as if they were jobs (i.e. if you play guitar you could say “I’m a musician working to get his first breakthrough demo track laid down). Now, it's time to ask the girl what she does. Here’s the flat, boring version: M: So what do you do? 31 Days to Better Game

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31 Days to Better Game: www.tsbmag.com F: I’m a technical designer for Jill Sanders. M: Ok, uh… what’s that? I meet girls every day and they tell me they do something that I’ve never heard of. More often than not, I just don’t have anything good to relate, immediately, to what a girl does. So what can you do with that?! Well… M: So what do you do? F: I’m a technical designer for Jill Sanders M: Wait a minute, no you’re NOT. Get, OutOfHere. (Smiling as if she just made your day when she told you that) F: Wait, why (she’s probably smiling now too)….? M: Actually, I have no idea what a technical designer is (both laugh). But it sounds exciting. Tell me about it. Same information, more texture, more playfulness. Let’s consider another example, but with a more common job: M: So what do you do? F: I’m a sales representative for [insert big faceless company here] M: Wait a minute, no you’re NOT. Get, OutOfHere. (Smiling as if she just made your day when she told you that) F: Wait, why (she’s probably smiling now too)….? M: Ah, I’m just messing with ya. How’d you get into sales? See? Creating this playful tension, this texture, makes a girl feel much better about sharing information with you. She has FUN telling it to you because the conversation itself is a little series of surprises. And ultimately, this is what flirting is all about. We’ve barely scratched the surface in terms of all the techniques you can use to flirt. But if the attitude you take with you into your interactions is “what would give this conversation some texture, some fun?” then you’ll find yourself flirting pretty effortlessly.


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31 Days to Better Game: www.tsbmag.com Day 7 Simple steps for Successfully Approaching and Opening Women Written by Bobby Rio Originally Published: 06/19/2008

I think most guys are waiting for some new pick up artist to come out with an innovative, fail proof, guaranteed to work opening line to say to a woman. Don’t hold your breath. An opener is just the first thing you say to start an interaction. Yes, ideal ly it will make her laugh, make you look cool, and create conversation that just flows from it. But the fact is; there is no perfect opener. But there are perfect ways to approach and deliver your opening line. The best approaches are spontaneous. BAM! You see a woman you want to talk to an immediately initiate a conversation. The reason these approaches are the best is because very little thought is going into the interaction. The less thought out and planned an interaction is the more natural and relaxed you will appear. Once you start scanning your mind for things to say it's over. You’re mentally in the wrong state. This is why in the beginning a lot of coaches recommend using canned openers. Personally, I recommend having a couple canned openers ready for different situations… but I would keep them simple (hey, are you guys friendly?..) and stay away from the classic Mystery or Strauss “who lies more” or “what 80’s pop duo should I name my dog after?” I’ve found that guys who are using these elaborate canned openers are getting stuck in routine mode and not going on to develop natural conversation skills. But that's just my opinion. When it comes to opening girls I’ve found that several things will make all the difference. 1. Proximity. The easiest girls to talk to are the ones you're standing closest to. Most of the time these girls will be expecting you to open them. As you walk into a venue scan the room for the best possible spot. You don’t want to be the guy doing laps all night with the hungry look on his face. 2. Spontaneous. The best approaches feel spontaneous. That is the beauty of the three second rule. If you’ve entered a bar, and you’re in the proximity to a couple girls you want to talk toopen them immediately. The longer you wait the more awkward it's going to be. Even if you just say “you girls look like you’re ready for a fun night” give them cheers with your glass and then go back to talking to your friend. Now they’re opened. Open as many people around you as quickly as you can. This will put you in the right frame of mind. (And build social value) 3. Body Language- The reason spontaneous approaches work the best is because your body language doesn’t have time to get all weird and up tight. Because the approach was spontaneous you will be sending off really natural body language. You want to make sure your 31 Days to Better Game

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31 Days to Better Game: www.tsbmag.com body language conveys the image that this interaction carries no excess value to you. You also want to present the image that you could turn and walk away at any time. 4. Stay Fun- Once you’ve approached and opened girls keep a really fun vibe. I see too many guys open a girl with a funny line… then immediately go into “interview mode.” Once you’re in interview mode she knows you’re hitting on her, and is probably bored. You’re better off staying playful for awhile. 5. Know when to eject and when not to- If you open a girl and the whole time you’re talking to her she’s fumbling with her cell phone and avoiding eye contact… don’t waste your time. On the other hand, if you get a tad resistance; don't prematurely eject. You have to differentiate between a girl who visibly giving you signals of disinterest… and the girls that just take a little more work. Remember not all girls are super outgoing… some girls need a little prying before they open up. I hope that these tips help next time you’re out. There are entire books on approaching but sometimes it's the simplest advice that is most practical and easy to implement. Bobby


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31 Days to Better Game: www.tsbmag.com Day 8 Improving Your Conversation Skills Written by Bobby Rio Originally Published: 06/20/2008

The goal of a conversation is to connect with the other person on some level. Af ter you’ve approached a woman and have broken the ice with an opening line… you need to hook her into the conversation. You need to get her to invest some interest in talking to you. How do you get a girl to invest some interest in the conversation? One of the easiest ways to elicit a response is to make assumptions about her and funny guesses. For instance, the other night I was talking to a girl at a bar, and I asked her if she lived in the city. She told me she just moved here from Iowa. The standard question that most guys would have asked next was “how do you like the city?” Instead I said, “So, you’re here because as a child you had bright lights big city dreams… you imagined yourself strolling down Fifth Ave, swinging your briefcase on your way to your job in advertising…” At this point she stopped me and said… “Ha-ha, actually I imagined it was a job on Wall St., I’m a finance geek.” “So you imagined yourself in a power suit… doing lunches with the Gordon Gekko types... talking about how Intel is down a point?” From there the conversation flowed naturally because I avoided interview mode. I guided her along. When that thread died down it was easy to transition into another interesting topic.” “So tell me what your first week in the city was really like” I asked her. Here she brought up the emotions she felt of excitement mixed with fear. Using the material she gave me “the mix of excitement and fear” I was able to transition into another thread. “Well aren’t the most satisfying times in life the times you feel that adrenaline? It's like when you think of your most memorable vacation… it probably wasn’t a vacation you sat in a beach chair sipping Pina Coladas... It was probably one where you challenged yourself a bit…” “Haha, yes… being stuck in France not speaking a word of the language... out of money” “Oh... that sounds like a good story... do tell!” See how the conversation is naturally flowing from one thread to another? After she spoke a bit about her adventure in France I told her about my first time in Brazil, and explained the emotion I felt of “being lost on this entirely different continent, and how it almost brings you back your childhood when things were still new… and you had that desire to explore.”


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31 Days to Better Game: www.tsbmag.com We were able to smoothly transition from “Do you live in the City?” to having a detailed conversation about our most adventurous vacations. The key to being a good conversationalist is to keep your ears open for hooks. A hook is something she says that you can use to extend the conversation. If you’re listening to her you’ll notice a new hook every time she opens her mouth. When she told me she just moved here from Iowa a month ago she gave me three hooks to work off of. (Leaving Iowa, arriving in NY, her first month here) Each time she gives you a hook you should relate it back to her establishing a connection. The biggest mistakes guys make is turning the conversation into an interview… take the conversation above and see how easily it could have headed into interview mode: •

me: Do you live in the city?

•

her: I just moved here from Iowa

•

me: Oh yea.. so what do you do?

•

her: I’m a stock broker

•

me: where do you usually hangout?

See how easily the conversation could have turned into a high pressured interview if I hadn’t used what she gave me and related it back to her. You also want to stay away from “try hard” relating. This is where everything she says you try to find away to immediately relate to it. •

me: Do you live in the city?

•

her: I just moved here from Iowa

•

me: Really, I have a friend who went there on vacation last year. What do you do?

•

her: I’m a stockbroker.

•

me: Oh yea.. I dabbled with stocks online a little. What do you do for fun?

In the example above you’re wasting valuable hooks by trying to fill the air with pointless banter about yourself. Who cares that your friend went there on vacation? The proper way to handle a hook is to relate it back to her. This is actually a technique I learned from Richard La Ruina’s book The Natural Art of Seduction where he talks about taking things deeper. Here is an example from my conversation of how I took things deeper. •

•

•

me: tell me about your most adventurous vacation. her: It was this time in France when I was dead broke, didn’t speak the language, and alone for two days wondering around Paris. me: So you must have felt both the thrill and fear of complete anonymity. So what does one do when they know no one will find out?


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31 Days to Better Game: www.tsbmag.com See how I acknowledged the emotion that she must have been feeling. This simple acknowledgement let her know that: 1. I was really listening to her. 2. That I was able to empathize and understand her. 3. That I was genuinely curious to know what one does when they know no one is watching. Once you’ve acknowledged what she has given you it is alright to relate the story to yourself. Because now she knows that you’re on the same playing field. She knows that you’re not superficially trying to relate… This is a conversational strategy you should take on no matter who you are ta lking to. Many of us have old habits that we’re going to have to break. The easiest way to break an old habit is to consistently implement a new one. Instead of waiting for attractive girls to practice this new conversational strategy I would suggest practicing it with your friends, family, and co-workers. Practice picking out the hooks these people are giving you, and then practice acknowledging the hooks. If you get in this habit you will naturally become a better conversationalist.


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Bobby Rio

31 Days to Better Game: www.tsbmag.com Day 9 How to Build Comfort with a Girl Written by T Originally Published: 06/23/2008

Bobby Rio asked me to shed some light on building comfort with women. This is just a sampler of techniques you can use to build comfort with women and isn’t meant to be an exhaustive list by any means. I hope you guys enjoy it and find it helpful. Two things I hear guys ask about when it comes to building comfort with women are (1) whether to go indirect versus direct with the game and (2) whether to compliment or playfully insult the woman. My answer is…it depends on your conveyed status. If your body language, physical appearance, social proofing and/or manner of speech are strong enough to convey higher value from the moment you walk in the door or open your mouth, sure you can compliment a woman upon first meeting her. One of my rules has always been that it’s all right to put a woman on a pedestal so long as it’s made clear that you’re on the throne, which is even higher. Or to put it another way, treating a woman like a queen is not a sign of weakness as long as it’s crystal clear that you’re the king. If there’s any possible doubt as to your status versus her status, however, you will probably want to lean more toward indirect game and playful teasing and insults. The more comfortable you get with your game, the easier it will get to convey that you’re an alpha male and a prize with hardly any effort. Until you reach that level of game, however, it’s always better to start in the beginning with a little more indirect game and use playful negging and teasing to bring down your target’s status in relation to your status. Eventually though as you get more comfortable with your inner game and alpha role, you want to get skilled at knowing how and when to use compliments and direct game as well as using negs and indirect game. Daytime Drills

One of the biggest problems men have with building comfort with women is that they put too much emphasis on the moment of truth, which is the moment of interaction at the bar or club. Picture yourself as an athlete, say a basketball player, but you never practice or touch a basketball except during big games in front of a large amount of people. Imagine how nervous you’d be. Imagine how off your game would be. You’d never do that. You’d practice by yourself for hours when nothing is on the line and not a lot of people are watching. You’d run drills. You’d take shot after shot after shot in your spare time. You’d do visualization exercises. And by the time you hit the big game you’d feel a lot less pressure on yourself because you mentally prepared yourself for this moment. The same applies for building comfort with women: practice when it doesn’t count and when no one is watching and you’ll be way more confident and perform much better during game time. Start a conversation every day with a different attractive woman. Aim for 30 seconds. 31 Days to Better Game

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31 Days to Better Game: www.tsbmag.com Then go for a minute. You achieve that, go for five minutes. If you’re stuck on a long post office line behind an attractive woman, that’s an opportunity for conversation. A woman sitting next to you on a bus reading a book you’ve already read is i s an opportunity. A cramped subway car is an opportunity. Make small talk with the Starbucks barista when waiting wait ing for your coffee. Chat with a cute bank teller while she’s handling business for you. Ask a woman for her opinion on a cologne or article of clothing you’re considering buying when you’re shopping at the department store. The whole goal is to get comfortable talking to women you don’t know. When you do this, take mental notes on what works and what doesn’t. It’s not enough to make a note on what doesn’t work for the sake of avoiding repeating the mistake; it’s even more important to make notes on what does work so that you can repeat it and fine-tune it. For some reason a lot of guys make a joke or tell a story that works brilliantly in a conversation, pat themselves on the back for it, and forget to ever repeat that joke or story again. Don’t fall into that trap. When you do these daily conversations in the beginning you’re just aiming to get used to the banter and to reduce the anxiety you get from having conversations with women. Women’s defenses tend to be down more in these casual daytime situations than they are in a bar or nightclub where they are more guarded due to being hit on incessantly, so you’ll experience less rejection and more responsiveness than you would in a nightspot. ni ghtspot. With these drills, you don’t have to get a number or pick a woman up. The point is to get comfortable starting conversations with women and to get comfortable with the occasional rejection. In fact, the more you get rejected, the more you realize that it won’t kill you and that it’s not the end of the world. And that alone is important. Then you’ll want to get used to observing and interpreting body language. Then you need to focus on using your body language to convey the alpha male impression you want to convey. Once you get used to doing your daily daytime drills and getting comfortable starting and maintaining conversations with women, you’ll see your bar or nightclub game improve dramatically. Nightlife Comfort

Since this article is supposed to be about building comfort, I’m not going to focus on openers and how to start conversations with women. There are plenty of other articles out there about that. I’m going to focus on how to build comfort with a woman once you’re already in conversation with her. First, never sound desperate to please. Be cocky, be playful, tease her like she’s your little sister. Make her laugh, but never at your own expense. Don’t use self-deprecating humor. Avoid it at all costs. There is one exception to the self-deprecating humor rule: you can use selfdeprecating humor if it’s blatantly insincere and actually points out one of your strengths: for example, if you have an athletic, muscular physique, you can joke about what a 95 lb. weakling you are. It works great because (a) it’s i t’s genuinely funny when done right and (b) it points out one of your strengths yet comes off less obnoxious and approval-seeking than outright bragging. But outside of that exception, avoid self-deprecation or anything that lowers your status.


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31 Days to Better Game: www.tsbmag.com Second, don’t apologize for who you are and don’t be afraid to offend, because both those tendencies are obstacles to building comfort. When many guys come across a pretty woman, the anxiety kicks in and they start getting flustered easily. Then they start over apologizing. A woman busts their balls a little bit and they backtrack or apologize immediately. They are so afraid of not getting her approval that they almost beg for it. Don’t do it. Don’t apologize. Stick to your guns. Of course use your discretion; if you step on her foot or spill a drink on her, then you should apologize. Apologizing for your actions is the right thing to do under some circumstances. Apologizing for who you are and what you believe however is a no-no. I’ll give an example of this. A friend of mine, Beethoven, recently approached two women at a bar. The conversation started out well enough, but at some point one of the girls asked Beethoven what he and his friends were discussing earlier. Beethoven responded “We were just discussing how many fat girls there there are here tonight.” His target’s jaw dropped and she was absolutely mortified. She said “That’s not very nice” and seemed disgusted. But Beethoven stuck to his guns, didn’t backtrack and didn’t apologize. He just looked her up and down and said “Whatever, why does it bother you? It’s not like you have anything to worry about looking the way you do” and just kept going with the conversation. If he apologized, instead of making the situation better, it would have just highlighted the awkwardness, which would have made her uncomfortable, and even worse, put her in a position of dominance, which would make her lose respect for him. Not only did he turn that potential negative into a positive, he ended up hooking up with her. Women do not respect a man they can easily dominate or make uncomfortable, and if they do not respect you, they will feel uncomfortable around you. By never sounding desperate to please and never apologizing for who you are, you earn their respect and set the f oundation for building more comfort. Third, know when to stop negging and teasing so much. Sometimes when guys get really good at the negging and teasing and see the initial results it gets them, they go overboard and do it for too long. And then it goes from being cute and charming to just smug, annoying and dickish. Once you start winning a woman over and she is warming up to you, she is going to want to start getting to know you and building rapport with you. If you just keep negging and teasing at the same level you were when you first f irst started building comfort with her, you risk coming off as a real obnoxious prick. You should keep playful tone and never stop teasing totally, but you do want to dial it down as you build more and more rapport with the girl. And you never, ever want to tease a girl about a topic related to her core values. If she’s heavily into church, don’t mock religion. If she is passionate about fashion and works in the field, fie ld, don’t mock her chosen field as frivolous or stupid. If she’s passionate about politics and is involved in certain causes, don’t tease or playfully insult her favorite cause or ideology. Good rule of thumb is to be ca reful about negging about political stances, chosen careers and religious beliefs, as these tend to represent a person’s core values and insulting these, even playfully, often does more harm than good Fourth, move around from place to place, even if it’s within the bar or club. For some reason, changing locations gives the psychological impression that you are spending more time 31 Days to Better Game

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31 Days to Better Game: www.tsbmag.com together and bonding more. The more locations a woman associates with you, the more time she feels like she’s spent with you and the more comfortable she feels. It’s an illusion, really, but it works. For example, if within a bar, lead her to a spot at the bar and order drinks. Take her to another end of the bar and introduce her to some your friends. 10 minutes later take her to some couches to sit down. If you know how to dance, take ta ke her to the dance floor later. Then go to another part of the bar. As with anything, don’t overdo it. You don’t want to come off as hyperactive and spastic and moving around every 30 seconds. Moving around from venue to venue also helps build comfort, such as going from one bar to a second bar to lounge to a diner…bouncing around like that gives the psychological impression to a girl that she’s just spent three or four mini-dates with you and she’ll feel more comfort with you than if you spent that exact same amount of time talking to her rooted to one spot. Fifth, make sure to touch her whenever you can. In the pickup community they call it “kino,” but it’s something my friend and I always made sure to do before we ever eve r knew what it was called. A conversation will get stale quickly and turn into the foundation for a friend zone relationship if you never touch her during the conversation. Light, playful touching conveys sexual interest and builds attraction and sexual tension, which are very important when building comfort. If you build comfort without building attraction at the same time, you’ve just guaranteed yourself a place in the friend zone. I’m not going to go into the specifics of playful touching here, but you can find tons of kino-related articles by Bobby and Mike right here on the TSB Magazine I’m sure. Getting the balance of touching just right so that you don’t come off either too timid or too aggressive takes some trial and error, but it’s not that hard. Sixth, while it’s cool to playfully bring up sex, do not dwell too deeply into conversation about ex's (hers or yours) and specific approaches toward sex. These things can backfire too easily if you don’t know what you’re doing. With ex-es, it can end up being a light, li ght, harmless conversation. But there’s also the risk that she may end up talking about him at length and getting nostalgic about him and talking about how much she still loves him, and suddenly the attraction mood is dead and you’re on the road to becoming her emotional tampon as she drones on and on about how much feelings she has for him. Or on the flip side, she may have a lot of unresolved anger toward him, may start venting and getting worked up and then start transferring her issues with her ex specifically and men in general toward the next closest male target, who in this case would be you. I made this mistake with a woman once, thinking that making her talk about her shitty ex would be a great way to sell myself as a positive alternative. Instead I spent the night fielding angry questions about why guys cheat, why guys fear commitment, why guys hurt women…I ended up being her convenient target for everything she hated about men. Needless to say, it wasn’t a great comfort-building conversation. And regarding bringing up specific approaches toward sex, here’s an example of how that can backfire. Unlike men, women’s attitudes change wildly with their emotional states. With men, to change their minds you must change their logic. With women, to change their minds you must change their emotions. If a woman hasn’t built much attraction and comfort with you yet and you ask her what her attitude is about how soon is too soon to have sex, you’ll get a totally different answer than you would if you asked her that same question later on when you have her on an emotional high. By asking her such a specific sexual questions too early before she’s 31 Days to Better Game

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31 Days to Better Game: www.tsbmag.com built comfort and rapport with you, she’ll be very cognizant about coming off like a slut to a guy she barely knows and may say something like “I don’t have sex with a guy until three or four months of dating, and I have to get to know him very well first.” Now that you’ve made her explicitly give a sexual timetable, it’s going to mentally psyche you out and make you behave less aggressively in your comfort building. You’ll start believing you have no shot of building much comfort anytime soon. And on her end, now that she’s verbally committed to that, even if she gets insanely attracted and comfortable with you later in that same conversation, she’s going to feel obligated to stick to her original conservative statement for fear of l ooking like a hypocrite or liar. Meanwhile, if you never asked about sex at all things could have happened much more spontaneously. As I mentioned before, this isn’t an exhaustive list when it comes to building comfort, but I think it’s a pretty good foundation. Hope it helps some of you out there.


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Bobby Rio

31 Days to Better Game: www.tsbmag.com Day 10 Being Funnier – Make it fun! Written by Barry Kirkey Originally Published: 06/24/2008

Every woman likes a positive man, and often, positivity takes the form of a good sense of humor. The problem with giving anyone advice about how to become funnier, is that humor is universally subjective. Meaning, every culture, sub-culture or individual decides what is funny on their own. Yeah there are exceptions, people can be told by popular media what they think is funny, but you’re not one of those people because you’re reading this article. Here are some things you can do to become funnier, in chronological order: First, find out what you like. A sense of humor is as unique as your own DNA (simile). They are usually a complex combination of joke types, body language, interest in shows/movies, and so forth. This step should normally be a no-brainer, but you’d be surprised at how so many people dislike comedy. Once you find out what you like, expose yourself to it. Watch those shows and movies that you love. Watch them alone or with friends and family. Learn how to laugh out loud when you watch them, even if you’re by yourself. I would caution you, however, not to “force it down,” meaning if you’re not in the mood to watch a comedy show (sitcoms, late night, etc.) then don’t watch it. If you have the problem of never being in the mood then you need to find out why this is the case. Note: If you’re never in the mood to laugh, you may have other issues that are keeping you down. I suggest you speak to a psychologist, doctor or other professional that can determine why your mood is always down. You might be surprised to learn about what prevents you from doing what you love. This can be something as serious as depression or anxiety. However, it can also mean that you’re still, subconsciously, dealing with unresolved matters in your life (such as, a fight with your dad 6 months ago and you haven’t talked to him since).

After enough exposure, you’re ready to take it to the field. Try to avoid copying other jokes directly – those Borat impressions are no longer funny, so don’t do them. Unless you’re a naturally funny guy – then you can get away with it, but that’s a whole different article. If you must copy, use a variation of what you’ve learned instead. For example, if you want to do a Seinfeld joke, don’t just start quoting the show. Do your worst and most annoying Seinfeld voice and exaggerate a Seinfeld-type joke as much as you can. Make it ridiculous and unexpected.


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31 Days to Better Game: www.tsbmag.com While all this is going, laugh at your own jokes. Laugh as much as you can and absorb the criticism of others by laughing even more. Here’s why: Laughing is infectious. The more you laugh, the more others around you are likely to laugh as well. Not only that, but let’s consider the whole theory of conditioning by association. If you’re consistently around the same people, doing jokes often, and laughing often, people will associate you with laughter. When this happens, you’ve won the game – you’re known as “the funny guy.” “But Mr. fuckface (me)! How do I use this to get girls!?” Just by statistics, most people end up in quality relationships through other people that you already know (i.e., in the office, friend of a friend or family member). So you get the immediate benefit of being “the funny” guy in your own social circle that way. “But Mr. faggittface (me)! What about girls you don’t know?!” Okay, that’s definitely more difficult, but not impossible. With cold approaches, first impressions are the only thing you have, so make it count. Start off with the best jokes you have, make sure you laugh and you smile. If she looks down on you, make a friendly insult, “wow – someone dropped their funny basket in the toilet today!” and walk on to the next person. If you end up forced into a situation with someone who doesn’t respect your humor then this is particularly challenging, because you can potentially make an enemy without knowing it. Similar to what happened with Darth Vador, it’s difficult to turn someone from being your enemy to your friend, but not impossible. I won’t go into this situation now, because that is a discussion for those who are already polished and comfortable with their own sense of humor… Dun dun dun! Anal.


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Bobby Rio

31 Days to Better Game: www.tsbmag.com Day 11 Mastering the Art of Push-Pull and Cocky-Funny Written by The Asian Rake Originally Published: 06/25/2008

Do You Want Faster and More Powerful Seductions? How the 80/20 Principle applies to PushPull and Cocky-Funny?

We’ve all heard about the 80/20 principle first developed by Vilfredo Pareto in the context of the distribution of income and wealth. My experience and observations have shown that the 80/20 rule applies just as well to push-pull and cocky-funny. After closely observing naturals who are masters at crazily rapid escalations and seductions, and after a lot of discussions with PUAs who have really tight game, I’ve discovered an important enhancement to the simplistic push-pull and cocky-funny concepts. This small bit of fine-tuning can shave a lot of time off your seductions and create much stronger, closer emotional connections. Here’s my thesis statement (yes, I’m an academic, lol): If you want to seduce a woman faster and have her more powerfully attracted to you, the optimal mix for a man who already has his fundamentals down (his body language, tonality, and basic inner game) and is interacting with a confident and attractive woman is 80% pull, 20% push. I’m not going to be too strict about the numbers. But more accurately, the optimal combination depends on how good the man’s fundamentals are and how confident the woman is. It’s a continuum with the upper end of the continuum being 80-20 pull-push. My experience has also been that pull-push is best mixed with humor. Plus, the pull and the push are opposite manifestations of cockiness. With push, you are cocky enough to think that you are too good for the girl, so you push her away. With pull, you are cocky enough to think that you are irresistible to her and to women in general, and you want her, so you pull her in. Although there is plenty to say about this combination of push-pull and cocky-funny, I’ll leave that to another article. My focus here is on the 80/20 principle applied to the push-pull dynamic. I’ll assume here that it’s obvious that push-pull is closely connected to cocky-funny. For the classic book on push-pull, see Swingcat’s ebook, Real World Seduction. For cocky-funny, the best authority is David DeAngelo. Check out his ebook, Double Your Dating, and his DVD series, Cocky Comedy. I assume at least familiarity with push-pull and cocky-funny as described in these resources. Christian Hudson and Nick Sparks over at The Social Man are about to release a product that incorporates all the concepts in Swingcat and David D.’s books and then takes it all to another level. Watch at their site for the release. We’re good friends, so I’m a little biased, but you can go over there and check it out for yourself:


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Bobby Rio

31 Days to Better Game: www.tsbmag.com What I say here is NOT for absolute newbie's, who don’t yet have their fundamentals down (body language, tonality, and basic inner game). If you still don’t know what good BL&T looks, sounds, and feels like, stop reading this and figure that out first. My point here applies to elite game. It’s for guys who want to know what it’s like to live in the top 10%, or higher, of men in this world. That’s not to say this is advanced. It’s just not for beginners. A quickie definition of push-pull straight from the pen of Swingcat: “Push-Pull is whenever you emotionally push a woman away from you and, then, emotionally pull her back in. Each Push creates an emotional space for each Pull.” We’ll be filling this out as we go along. Now let’s unpack the thesis statement. While you can succeed using almost any combination of push and pull (e.g., 80% push-20% pull, 50% push-50% pull), the combination that will generate the fastest seductions and most powerful connections is 80-20 pull-push or in other words, 80% pull-20% push. This is true only if the following also hold: a. The man has good fundamentals (good body language, tonality, tight inner game and is hence non-needy, etc.). This also applies if he is physically attractive or is perceived by the woman to have high social value. b. The woman is unusually attractive in the man’s eyes, and she is confident about her value and attractiveness. This relates to Believability. She needs to be able to be confident enough in her self-worth to accept your advances. If both those elements are in place, then the fastest and most powerful route to sex is a mix of 80% pull-20% push. [CAVEAT: If the man only has average fundamentals and the woman is only of average confidence in her own attractiveness and value, then the optimal mix is further down the continuum and closer to 50-50 push-pull. This is because pulling a woman closer to you emotionally is only effective when you already have a basic level of attraction from the woman. Of course, we all know that this kind of attraction is largely independent of one’s physical appearance. Over 90% of this kind of attraction is attributable to body language and tonality alone. That’s why I ca ll these the fundamentals. Your attitude and outlook are also crucial to pulling off the right BL&T, so I include inner game as a factor for the sake of completeness.] Pushing a woman away is effective when a woman looks at you and doesn’t expect you to be cocky. It throws her off and is hence funny. It’s like when a precocious child talks like an adult, using mature and sophisticated vocabulary, sentence structure, etc. It’s unexpected and incongruent with the kid’s image, and hence, kind of funny, and if done right, it’s admirable. Now imagine a 50 year old, sophisticated-looking man talking the same way. It’s not funny anymore. It’s just normal and expected.


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Bobby Rio

31 Days to Better Game: www.tsbmag.com Similarly, when a below average looking guy uses a lot of push cocky-funny, talking as if he’s too good for her and using humorous sarcasm, it’s attractive because the woman begins to wonder, “How can this guy be so cocky? He must have something going for him that I can’t see yet. I’m interested.” And because it’s done in a comedic way, she’s not offended, but rather, intrigued. Now if a guy who has his fundamentals down (good BL&T), a good-looking guy, or a guy perceived to have high value starts to push her away emotionally, she’s not intrigued. Why? Because it’s obvious why this guy is so cocky. He’s good-looking, high-value, or has an attractive personality. It’s not funny anymore because it’s expected and congruent with his image. He just comes across cocky. For a guy like this to use cocky-funny, he has to really emphasize the humor and really cut down on the cocky part. Most people overlook the fact that David D. himself acknowledged this in one of his newsletters: "If you’re a pretty good looking guy, you might turn down the cocky, and turn up the funny. Women perceive good-looking guys who act cocky as MAJOR PLAYERS, and too much cocky too soon can backfire on you.” More accurately, this isn’t just true for guys who are good-looking. If your fundamentals are strong, or you’re perceived as high-value, then it applies just as well to you. It’s the push dynamic that makes these high-value or good-looking guys come across as too unattainable. For guys like this, it’s best to use the pull dynamic more often and save the push dynamic for that 20% of dramatic contrast. And obviously, when a guy with good fundamentals, attractive appearance, or high social value is perceived as a “major player,” it is very bad for his Believability. You can do it the opposite way, of course. You can do mainly push and just a little pull, like 80% push and 20% pull. Or you can be very cocky and only a little funny. Sure, you can get success that way, too. But for the most part, if your fundamentals are already strong, then: 1) You can get much faster seductions by pulling her in more often than you can by pushing her away. 2) You can get the girl to feel a deeper emotional bond with you by pulling more often than pushing. Here’s why: 1. If your fundamentals are good, then you will be a relatively DOMINANT, powerful, and confident man. Hence, girls (and most people in general) will naturally feel like following your lead. So when you tell a girl to sit down, she will feel a strong social and emotional pull to sit down. When you’re emotionally pulling a girl in by telling her to kiss you, she will have to work extra hard to resist. Most girls like a strong, dominant, powerful, confident guy, and many girls have the fantasy of “being taken” by such a man. Any resistance they give to such a man is just token.


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Bobby Rio

31 Days to Better Game: www.tsbmag.com Thus, if you already have good fundamentals (BL&T and basic inner game), and you want to shave massive amounts of time off your seductions, you’re better off pulling the girl in more frequently than pushing her away because the chances are good she will give in more often than not. Ah, but Asian Rake, when you push a girl away, doesn’t she want to pull you in? Isn’t that the whole point of pushing her away? So you can get her to chase you? Yes, to a certain extent, this is true. That’s why you SHOULD STILL PUSH. That’s the allimportant 20%. In fact, by pulling most of the time, when you do finally push her away, it’ll feel that much more powerful to her. If you’re a dominant guy, girls will feel pressure to follow your orders, and unless she’s very dominant herself, chances are good that she will NOT pull you in return every ti me you push her away. Chances are good that if you are a dominant man, when you push her further away, she will follow your lead and remain further away. Assuming the pushes and pulls are of about equal emotional intensity (that’s one variable I’m leaving out here), if you PULL more often than not, she might resist you at first, but then because you’re dominant, she’ll follow your lead and move closer to you emotionally and physically. If you PUSH more often than not, she might resist you at first, but then because you’re a dominant guy, she’ll follow your lead and move further away from you emotionally and physically. Sure you can generate attraction with most combinations of push-pull. But what’s faster to sex? When she’s emotionally and physically closer to you, or when she’s emotionally and physically farther from you? It should be obvious. This is how the best naturals I’ve seen get bathroom lays in less than 15 minutes. It’s pull-pull-pull-pull-PUSH-pull-pull-pull-PUSH-pull-pull-pull to the bathroom. 2. By pulling more often than pushing, you can also create the deep emotional c onnections much faster. If you’re continually pushing her away emotionally, however, how can she possibly feel an emotional connection? This should be obvious. A far more efficient way to develop emotional connections is to pull her in emotionally. One very effective kind of pull technique is in conjunction with screening and qualifying. If your Believability game is good then every qualification is actually a pull. For instance, “Wow, you are really adventurous, I like that,” said in response to her little adventure story, is a great example of a pull. When you stack enough of these, she’ll feel like you really appreciate her for her unique qualities. She’ll be saying to herself, “Wow, this guy really, truly, sincerely likes me for my special qualities.” And of course, she’ll want to open herself up and continue connecting with you.


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Bobby Rio

31 Days to Better Game: www.tsbmag.com Btw, this is also a key technique for creating the kind of emotional connections that will get girls to fall in love with you FAST. There are others, of course, like sharing secrets and using childhood regression, but this is one of the easiest to do. Now let’s add the COCKY-FUNNY into the mix. What exactly do I mean by Push Cocky-Funny vs. Pull Cocky-Funny? Once again, probably the best way to illustrate what I mean is through examples. PUSH COCKY-FUNNY The prime proponent of this is David D. Let’s first talk about the internal mindset behind Push Cocky-Funny. David D. helpfully lays it all out in his Double Your Dating: I’m going to play hard to get, make fun of her, be indifferent towards her, and generally bust her balls as much as possible. I know that she loves a guy that is so sarcastic that it makes her nervous, so I’m going to really keep the heat on… and when she starts to show any interest at all on the outside, I’m going to blow her off and make her prove to me that she wants me… so I can reject her again. You notice that with this mindset, you’ll be pushing her away a lot more than you’ll be pulling her in. David D. follows this up with some now classic examples: I do crazy things, like if I’m standing next to a girl at a bar, I’ll turn to her and say in a completely serious voice, “Will you PLEASE stop touching me?” And then look them right in the eye. Or say, “What are you doing at a bar for god sakes? Can’t you find a nice normal guy? Or are you desperate?” All with a completely straight face. I could go on forever, but you’re better off reading his eBook or watching his DVD series Cocky Comedy. Wow, I never thought I’d be plugging David D.’s materials, as if he needs to sell any more. LOL. When most guys think “cocky-funny,” they’re thinking this kind of cocky-funny, which is what I call, “Push Cocky-Funny.” PULL COCKY-FUNNY This is my default style of cocky-funny, so I’ll give you one of my own examples. I learned from a natural friend that this sort of thing is best done when you’re a bit over the top or dramatically exaggerated in what you say and in your facial expressions, tonality, and body language. This took place near the coat check of a huge nightclub, which is just about the only place in the club where you can talk without speaking right into her ear. A super cute, long-haired beauty walks by, and I jump in front of her with my hands slightly extended in front of my chest in a “stopping” motion with my palms out. Me: OMG! (Then, with a sigh and a love-sick puppy dog look, I say after lowering my hands) I’m in love with you… Give me your number. (Pull #1) HB (shocked): Huh? Are you crazy? Why? 31 Days to Better Game

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Bobby Rio

31 Days to Better Game: www.tsbmag.com Me (with an incredulous look on my face): Why? I mean, just look at you. You’re driving me crazy. It should be a crime for you to walk in public. (Pull #2) HB (breaking out laughing): Where are you from? Me: From? It doesn’t matter. I want your number. (Pull #3) HB (laughing): No way. First tell me where you’re from. Me: Okay, … guess. HB: Um, China? Me: Pretty close… (Taking a step closer to her so that we’re inches apart, I say in a quieter tone,) You know, you’re making me really nervous. My hands are all cold and sweaty. Here, feel. (Then, I take her hand in mine). (Pull #4) HB (laughing): You’re not nervous. Me (throwing off her hand and looking shocked): Are you calling me a liar? I’ve just confessed my deep dark love for you, and now you’re calling me a liar? That’s it. We’re getting a divorce… But I’m keeping the DVDs. You can have the dog. (Push #1) HB laughed. I said nothing and continued looking fake-mad. HB said (with a smile): “Okay, bye,” and started walking off. Me (stepping out in front of her again and knowing that she’s just teasing and wants me to chase her): No, wait. You can’t go. I’ll be so sad… I’m going to go home and cry now (and then I slumped my shoulders as if completely sad and depressed). (Pull #5) HB laughed. Me (perking up and letting out a sly smile): Okay, give me your number. HB (laughs): Okay. We talked a little bit more, and then I let her go back to her friends. I texted her about an hour later, and she texted back, asking what I was doing tomorrow… But that’s for another LR. Notice the push-pull ratio here. That was 5 pulls to 1 push. The one push came after 4 pulls. In fact, I don’t even think that push was necessary. This sort of Pull Cocky-Funny can get you super fast make outs and, as my natural f riends have shown, club bathroom sex. For an example of a fast make out, see the LR that features my first encounter with Natural-MD:. There are many other tales to recount about naturals such as him, some of which you can find elsewhere on my site and some of which I might write about in the future. You’ll have to check back for those. Another great example comes from Zan. Among the community old-timers, Zan is probably the best representative of this kind of cocky-funny. If you haven’t read any of his materials yet, check the mASF archives or google, “enlightened seduction.” There are so many possibilities to choose from, but this conversation of his has stuck in my mind for a while now: ZAN: Come out with me for a drink tonight. I will pick you up at 7. HER: I can’t. My boyfriend wouldn’t like it. ZAN: Oh hey, I understand… let’s make it 8 then. 31 Days to Better Game

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Bobby Rio

31 Days to Better Game: www.tsbmag.com I never, ever worry about a woman’s resistance to me. If she says she is not interested and leaves, no problem. But if I ever see her again, I immediately go up to her, smile and wink, and pick up right where I left off. As if she had never resisted me in the first place. In other words, her boyfriend objections (or whatever) mean nothing to me. ZAN: (big smile) Hello, sweetie. Did you miss me? HER: Hardly. ZAN: I want to see you. Tell me your number and I’ll remember it. HER: No! I told you last time I have a boyfriend. ZAN: Oh, so you’re still seeing Norman? HER: Uh… his name’s not Norman. ZAN: (smile, wink) Really? That’s very interesting. I have two bottles of champagne at home. HER: No thanks. ZAN: One to drink and one to pour all over your body… HER: You never give up, do you? ZAN: Of course not! Wouldn’t be the same if I did, would it? HER (laughing) No, I suppose not… I find this whole exchange completely charming and hilarious. Zan pulls her in about seven times. Just about everything he says is a pull. He’s cocky because he believes that she’d be crazy to turn him down. So her objections don’t even register with him. This is the ideal kind of frame to be operating from when doing Pull Cocky-Funny. So there you have it. Push Cocky-Funny vs. Pull Cocky-Funny. Both can work. But if you have good fundamentals (body language, tonality, and basic inner game), or you’re good-looking, or you have high perceived social value, and you are interacting with a confident and attractive woman, then you can get faster seductions and make deeper connections by doing more Pull than Push, around 80%-20% is ideal. And keep it all funny.


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Bobby Rio

31 Days to Better Game: www.tsbmag.com Day 12 Body Language 101 Written by Bobby Rio Originally Published:06/26/2008

The first thing you need to accept about your body language is that right now you’re probably completely unaware of the mistakes that you are making. For me, it took watching myself on video a few times to really appreciate how many mistakes I was actually making. The first part of this lesson I want to make you aware of the different ways you are conveying low status. Hopefully by being consciously aware of these mistakes you can catch yourself in the act, and quickly correct them. By taking the time to first break any of these bad habits you may have, you will be making it possible to accept the new habits I will talk about later. Body Language mistakes

1. Slouching Over. Slouching over is a way of keeping a low profile. Subconsciously people slouch because they are timid and don’t want attention on them. It portrays an image that you are socially awkward and unable to properly socialize. People try to blend in with the crowd by slumping their shoulders, bowing their heads, and taking up as little space as possible. 2. Avoiding Eye Contact. Less confident people tend to look down a lot. They do this because it is a way of avoiding making a connection with someone. They are afraid that if they catch eye contact with someone they will be forced to talk or smile or do something else beyond their comfort zone. By avoiding eye contact with people not only are you giving off a low status vibe, but you’re missing out on opportunities to connect with other human beings. 3. Touching Your Face, Fiddling with Things. When people feel insecure or nervous they start to have trouble sitting still. Their insecurity eats away at them and they feel forced to constantly be moving their hands. Some people will rub their chin or neck, other people with run their hand through their hair, others will juggle the loose change in their pocket. Doing any of these things immediately screams that you are not comfortable in your present situation. 4. Holding Your Face up with Your Hand. This displays the image that you’re too bored or tired to bother holding up your head straight. It displays a lack of enthusiasm and energy towards life. These are not the kind of people other people want to interact with... as they appear to have nothing to offer. It can also give off the impression that you’re uncomfortable with the way you look and are trying to hide your face.


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Bobby Rio

31 Days to Better Game: www.tsbmag.com 5. Leaning Forward to Talk to Someone. A quick glance around a room can tell you which guys are going to succeed with the women they are talking to, and which guys will fail. The successful guys are usually relaxed leaning away from the girl, causing her to move toward him. The unsuccessful guys are the ones bent over leaning forward. If you think she can’t hear you… talk louder. Body Language Habits of the Alpha Male

This second part of this lesson is designed to improve your body language and replace the negative habits you may have been displaying. Habit 1: Make it a practice to hold eye contact with everyone that you meet. While doing the

talking you should be holding eye contact for the majority of the time. If someone else is talking to you, hold eye contact about 50% of the time. If you’re talking to a group of people switch eye contact up between the different members of the group… but always be holding it with someone. Habit 2: Get in the habit of walking around with your head up and your neck straight. In the

beginning you will need to constantly be checking yourself. Create a little game with yourself to remind yourself to pay attention to your posture. Tell your friends to point this out to you. Habit 3: Keep your muscles relaxed. This is especially true of your facial muscles. When we tend

to get nervous we tense up in the jaw. You need to keep your face free of this stress. Habit 4: Smile often. If you don’t have a naturally attractive smile than you should practice in

front of a mirror. A smile displays a positive energy that is infectious. Habit 5: Push your chest out a bit and pull your shoulders back. The idea is to take up some

space. This is another habit you will have to check often to avoid falling back into the old habit of slouching. Habit 6: You should keep your feet about as far apart as your shoulders. Habit 7: Take up space when you sit. Spread yourself out a bit. Don’t slouch and look sloppy,

but don’t be afraid to get comfortable. Habit 8: Walk with confidence and power. This means your head should be high, neck up, chest

puffed out a bit, shoulders back, and take big slow steps. Try never to appear to be in a hurry or flustered. Also walk with direction. This is especially true when walking through a bar… you never want to give off the vibe that you’re looking for the cool place to be. You want to give off the vibe that you know where it is and already are heading there.


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Bobby Rio

31 Days to Better Game: www.tsbmag.com Habit 9: Avoid making sudden hyper gestures. Every gesture you make should flow naturally at

the same speed as your previous gestures. Habit 10: Use hand gestures when telling a story. When talking to someone avoid clutching on

to your beer or putting your hands in your pocket. The trick to pulling all these habits together is to use slow calculated gestures. If you’re giving a girl a once over, do it slowly like it doesn’t embarrass you that she noticed. If you’re grabbing a drink off the bar take it at a speed that says “I’m in no hurry.” Try learning how to turn your head slowly, how to blink slowly, how to change facial expressions slowly… and how to gesture slowly. This kind of body language transmits the message: “I’m so comfortable in my own skin, it hurts”. On the subject of body language… voice tone is insanely important. While technically it isn’t body language, all the same rules apply to it. Most people speak with weak, squeaky voices that convey the message: “I’m not confident… I have no self esteem”. If you want to attract beautiful women, you’re going to need to take a few lessons from Barry White. Learn how to speak with a deeper voice. Learn to speak from down in your chest and stomach. Add more bass to your voice. Also, learn how to speak slower… and how to articulate every word better. Become comfortable pausing… it creates anticipation. Most guys talk too much, too fast, and feel li ke they need to talk because they’re nervous. Don’t do it! Learn to lean back, relax, and become comfortable with the tension that comes from silence. Body language and voice tone habits are not easy to change. It takes time and determination to break a bad habit and replace it with a new one. But if you implement these habits over rest of these 31 days you will find that eventually it will become natural to you. If you work on using your BODY AND VOICE to communicate that you’re a confident, sexually aware alpha male, then all the techniques you’re learning will work TEN times better.


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Bobby Rio

31 Days to Better Game: www.tsbmag.com Day 13 Building your Social Circle

This next lesson was done as a video and be viewed as the link below:

http://www.tsbmag.com/2008/06/28/building-your-social-circle-day-13/


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Bobby Rio

31 Days to Better Game: www.tsbmag.com Day 14 How to Properly Tease a Woman Written by Brad Howard Originally Published: 06/30/2008

Before I start, let me just say that this article is NOT going to be some PROFOUND, complicated, piece of work that I’m trying to make sound more insightful than it probably is… It seems that everyone is doing that nowadays and I think that the message that people are trying to convey is getting lost in the fray. That being said, here are the MOST important “things” that if you get down that will make t he most impact in your dating/relationship life… bar none. They are: The Opinion Opener Teasing Your Look (clothes, hair) Your Body (best inner game changer… EVER!) If you can get these 4 aspects of your “game” down… you’ll CRUSH most men. So… with that aside… let's get to it… let's talk a little about my way of teasing women… and how it sparks sexual tension. (Note: I DO NOT do this for a living. I’m not out at bars testing out my latest and greatest “teasing” method… nor do I really expect YOU to be. This is just a collection of what I KNOW to be true from my personal life, and the interactions I’ve have with guys that aren’t having any problems in the “woman” department.) First and foremost, the whole point of teasing is to create a fun environment where a women can loosen up and open up to you. Teasing is also a great way to shake someone out of a funk, or get them to see that whatever’s going on it their life really isn’t that bad at all. I don’t view it as a way to “pull” a woman down to your level.


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Bobby Rio

31 Days to Better Game: www.tsbmag.com In fact, no matter how good looking she is I find that if you’re pulling YOURSELF down to HER level… you’ll find better success. Here’s what I mean: I like to use self depreciating humor to set up teasing. For instance, if you come from a place of strength, and ask a woman “I need your opinion on something… and be BRUTAL… what do you think of these shoes, I just picked ‘em up and I always seem to screw this up… haha”. If you’re playful, she’s likely to be playful back. To which you could say something like, “Ah ha! I KNEW you were some type of shoe guru. Where did you get your special talent (smile)?” And that’s just for opening someone up. Teasing works BEST with women that you already know… or that you’ve just met through a circle of friends (especially if you have a bit of notoriety amongst the group for being a fun guy). Here’s the thing about teasing though, that I DON’T condone. It might work for some, but I don’t usually use it. Don’t use teasing to “knock” a woman down. For instance, you might hear someone tell you to say, “You know, everything is working for you tonight EXCEPT those shoes… where did you get those?” Is there a way to say this so that it works? Absolutely. Would I RECOMMEND that you try it if you’re a rookie at the whole “teasing” game? Um… HELL NO! And here’s why. A woman’s ego is like a glass house and teasing in this way COULD be like throwing a ROCK into it. She feels uncomfortable now… and the conversation takes a negative tone. The WHOLE POINT of teasing is to make the woman FEEL GOOD by being around you. 31 Days to Better Game

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Bobby Rio

31 Days to Better Game: www.tsbmag.com It’s meant to be fun. “Setting up TEASE BAIT” Teasing is no fun if only one person is doing it. So, many times, I’ll throw out some selfdepreciating humor as BAIT to get the ball rolling. (The KEY to self-depreciating humor is that although you’re a strong, confident guy… you don’t take yourself so seriously) So maybe I’ll tell a fun story that people can laugh at (like the time I locked myself out of my hotel room NAKED and had to walk down to the desk NAKED to get another key) and then ACCUSE people of having similar stories, but they are just too scared to tell anyone about them. This works REALLY well. On closer look, the reason this works is because people (women) can see how SECURE you are with yourself because MOST men would NEVER tell a story in which THEY were the one being made fun of. Again, POWERFUL STUFF here. I use this ALL the time. “The Accusation Tease” This one is FUN. Basically, all you’re doing is ACCUSING the other person of trying to do something that YOU want to happen. Let’s say that you want to ask a person out on a date (bland, yeah I know… haha). So you say: “Yeah, yeah, I get it… Look, if you wanna ask me out, just say so. You don’t have to keep beating around the bush. Who knows, if you get on one knee and smile really pretty… I MIGHT even say yes…” Her: “I AM NOT!” You: “It’s okay, really… it won’t make you a lesser person (smile). Her: “(maybe changing subject)” You: (laughing) “You can change the subject if you want, but just remember that I KNOW (point to head), what you’re up to…You may continue… (smile, wink) 31 Days to Better Game

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Bobby Rio

31 Days to Better Game: www.tsbmag.com This also works well if you want to take it to a sexual level. You: “Whoa, Nelly… I know you’re just trying to get me drunk so you can take me home and do dirty things to me. (smile) Her: “Whatever, I am not” You: “Man, why is it that every woman thinks that she can buy you a drink and then try to get in your pants. Here’s a hint, Missy… (whisper) it’s gonna take more than one (smile) Guys, keep in mind that these ARE NOT serious conversations. They are tongue in check and playful. Using the accusation tease is a SURE way to get her to give you a “love tap”… or punch on the arm… or a light shove. To which you can reply: “Dang, feeling me up already and we just got here… geez…” “The Frame-Banging Tease” Okay, I couldn’t think of a better term for this but here’s the gist of it. Say your woman, or even a woman that you just met has had a really rotten day… but you want some sex… because, well, you’re a guy and that’s what guys want. Here’s what you do: Her: “Man, I’ve had such a shitty day… (blah, blah, this is what happened)” You: (Smiling) “Wow, I never expected YOU to let (someone/something) get under your skin like this. What would you do if I lost my hair all of the sudden, would that mean you wouldn’t hang out any more? I TOTALLY expected more out of you.” (You’re doing this to show her that it’s CRAZINESS for her to feel like she’s feeling… naturally, we can go on and on with this but I hope you get my drift.) If she doesn’t snap out of her funk with this, we now have to employ our most SECRET WEAPON… “The Tickle Tease”


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Bobby Rio

31 Days to Better Game: www.tsbmag.com NOTHING changes the tone of a conversation faster than some “good ole” tickling. Start slow at first. Like a little bit. You: (Smiling) “Are you going to get in a better mood… huh… are you? Her: “Stop it!” You: (tickling) “Are you in a better mood yet? Tell me I’m the greatest ever… who’s your buddy… who’s your pal… (okay, so I stole that from “Stripes”… shoot me) Then you just start kissing and BLAMMO! Bumming Monkeys Time. Wow, I can’t believe I just said BLAMMO… haha (The above statement is a great example of self depreciating humor, by the way) “Physical Teasing” Before I end this, because I could literally go on forever on this topic… physical humor and teasing ROCKS. For example, bring back the old school “You’ve Got Something On Your Shirt” gag… where you point at a spot on her shirt and when she looks down, you bonk her nose with your finger. That always works great. Or… and this is always fun. If you’re walking side by side and there is a physical object on her side… slowly start walking her into it. That’s fun too. I also like walking up behind my woman and “shanking” her if she has on sweats or loose shorts in the house… and then ACT like I’m gonna do it when we’re out in public. Fun Stuff. Teasing is a fun way to build attraction and BOOKS have been written on the subject. It’s the ULTIMATE way of flirting and getting her to chase you, all while showing your strength as a man. Here’s my final tip on teasing… and pay attention because this is important. 31 Days to Better Game

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Bobby Rio

31 Days to Better Game: www.tsbmag.com When you are teasing a woman, make sure that it’s fun for HER… but that you are ALSO AMUSING YOURSELF at the SAME TIME. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had people ask me: “You just trip yourself out don’t you?” Me: “Absolutely, I can’t help the fact that almost everyone else in life is lame. I like to think of it as “playing with myself” without all the mess. You should try it sometime instead of living in “lame-o land”. (smiling, laughing… Note: Having fun, with a touch of self depreciation as well) That’s it. I’m done.


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Bobby Rio

31 Days to Better Game: www.tsbmag.com Day 15 How to Create a Kick Ass Myspace and Facebook Profile Written by Race de Priest Originally Published:07/01/2008

WHY ONLINE GAME ROCKS AND HOW YOU CAN GET STARTED RIGHT NOW Now that the internet is such a big part of our lives, at any given point in time there are more women online than there are in every bar in your city combined. So how are you supposed to go about meeting and dating women from online? Is a woman weird for meeting a guy from sites like MySpace and Facebook? Can you actually legitimately meet sane AND hot women from online? Every time there is a new way of doing something it takes time for people to get comfortable with it. In many respects the idea of meeting people online is still fairly new, but thanks to the emergence and popularity of social networking sites like MySpace and Facebook this is al l changing. In fact, there are well over 200 million members on MySpace alone with around 300,000 new users joining every day from around the world. Facebook is close behind with about 250,000 new users a day. And guess what???…half of those are women! WHAT TYPES OF GIRLS ARE ON THESE SITES?

Social networking sites are different than traditional dating sites. You should really view them as an online hang out. Just as you would go to the mall, a bar, the coffee shop or a club to hang out and meet new people, you can use social networking sites to connect with and meet likeminded new friends. The fact of the matter is the same women you meet out at bars, clubs, bookstores and coffee shops are on social networking sites. The girl next door, the hot bartender, that cute girl standing in line at Starbuck’s today are all online. And because it is continually becoming more and more socially acceptable these same girls are open to meeting up with guys they met online. It’s not just for young people either. Obviously these sites are overflowing with women in their early 20’s and 30’s, but there are also tons of women between 34 to 44 as well. Do you really want to miss out on such an easy way to meet all these women? I didn’t think so. But it gets even better… IMAGINE A BAR FULL OF WOMEN HANDPICKED BY YOU 31 Days to Better Game

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Bobby Rio

31 Days to Better Game: www.tsbmag.com When you meet women from sites like MySpace and Facebook you can literally browse and filter so that only the types of women you are looking for show up. It’s like owning a bar where the bouncer only let’s in girls that fit exactly what you want. Say you want a girl who is: Between 22 and 26 5′0″-5′7″ Single/divorced Christian White, Pacific Islander, or Asian Slender or Athletic body No Children Straight Social Drinker Non smoker Some College or College Graduate Within 5 miles of your zip You can literally search for the exact type of woman you are looking for. THERE IS NO APPROACH ANXIETY ONLINE

There is absolutely no social pressure when messaging women online. You have as much time as you need to craft the perfect response. This is a relief for many guys who have trouble knowing what to say. When you are relaxed at your house you are more able to come up with an authentic responses. In a sense, she gets to see a more accurate picture of who you are while allowing you to learn at your own pace how to successfully interact with women. In addition, there is no “fear of rejection”. If a girl does not respond you simply move on…no harm no foul. She can’t shoot you down or embarrass you in front of her friends or other people; she is just a picture and some text. At the same time you will be corresponding with several different women simultaneously so there is no bother if a particular girl doesn’t respond. As you can see, the reasons to add online game as a way to meet and date women is quite compelling. Many of the world's best PUA’s and Social Artists still maintain their online profiles despite meeting women out in person because it is just too good not too. HOW TO GET STARTED MEETING ALL THOSE CUTE GIRLS ONLINE

The fist crucial step in meeting all those hot girls you see online is setting up your profile correctly. Think of your profile as the online equivalent of your first impression. It will form the basis for what a woman thinks about you and how she will interact with you. After all, your profile says a lot about you. From your profile alone, a girl can figure out if you have any 31 Days to Better Game

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Bobby Rio

31 Days to Better Game: www.tsbmag.com attractive qualities, what kind of job you have or what you do, what type of lifestyle you live, your hobbies, your interests (i.e. favorite movies, books, and music), what kind of friends you have, if other women are attracted to you, what you look like, and somewhat of how popular you are. This is huge! Once you set your profile up correctly, it literally WORKS FOR YOU! It’s like having your own personal PR firm who goes ahead of you and gets all the girls excited about wanting to meet you when you arrive. Now the question is… HOW DO I SET UP MY PROFILE SO IT ATTRACTS WOMEN?

Note: I will be specifically focusing on MySpace and Facebook because these are by far the largest social networking sites on the planet. But the underlying principles are universal and many of the guys we have successfully coached used them all over the world on sites like Bebo, Match, Orkut, Hyves, Friendster, etc. There are many elements that go into setting up your profile correctly. Here are the major things to keep in mind as you design your profile: Keep in mind the type of girl you want to attract. Remember to create a profile that is appealing to the type of girl you want to attract. If you want a bad girl with tattoos, you need to create a profile that connects with that type of girl. Once again, if you are unsure, go to the profiles of the types of girls you want to attract and copy their style or the style of the guy friends they have. Simplicity and Readability

Your mom was right about making things legible. You want your profile to be as easy to re ad as possible. Women will abandon your profile quickly if it takes too much effort to get an idea of who you are. A good way to start out is to use a solid background with contrasting text colors (i.e white text on a black background or any light on dark color scheme). You don’t need to go overboard in this area; simplicity and readability is the key. When to write and what to write

Take careful consideration about what you write about yourself. If you try to write about how cool you are, the fun things you do, the beautiful women you hang out with every weekend, etc, you will be perceived as trying to hard to gain approval. And girls who don’t know you have no reason to spend their time reading about you unless you’ve compelled them to. Things you DONT WANT to do in your About Me section: 31 Days to Better Game

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Bobby Rio


•

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DO NOT try to sell yourself by talking about how cool you are, the fun things you do, the beautiful women you hang out with, etc. You will be perceived as trying too hard to gain approval. DO NOT write your life story. Girls who don’t know you have no reason to spend their time reading about you. They will most likely see this and say “I don’t know you, I don’t care”. It is better to be brief yet have variety and keep her guessing, than to write your whole life story and bore her.

•

DO NOT be overly offensive

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DO NOT have terrible grammar/misspellings

Things you WANT to do in your About Me section: • • •

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Be Diverse List a variety of music, movies, and hobby interests. Be goofy. List movies like The Little Mermaid, and music by artists like the Spice Girls. Show her you are not a tool. When writing it is better to be brief yet have variety and keep her guessing, than to write your whole life story and bore her. You can even leave out your interests, giving her more reason to search for a connection with you. Going back to the characteristics women screen for, you want to be an enigma she wants to figure out.

Be Creative

In your About Me section, be creative. Don’t say “I’m new to this whole MySpace/Facebook thing” or “all my friends are on here so I figured I would create an account.” Talk about things like, “I love meeting new people” or “I surround myself with positive, fun, spontaneous, and outrageous people.” It doesn’t have to be long. Again, we need just enough to intrigue her, but not so much as to bore her. Make her curious to find out more about you. Use Disqualifying Statements

Create a small list of disqualifiers. A disqualifier is any statement that demonstrates you have standards by declaring that the recipient is unqualified or ineligible for you. Having standards indicates abundance and a strong sense of identity. You know what you want and you have enough options so that if a girl does not match up, you can let her go. Here are a few examples of disqualifying statements: Rules for being my MySpace/Facebook friend:


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Bobby Rio


• • • • •

No liars (unless you are fllirting) No flaky people No granny panties! (unle s you are actually a grandma ) No psycho stalker chicks! I don’t care how hot you think you are! No BORING PEOPLE … Yo u must be fun

Another option is to put up a qu alifying statement on your page. Here is one th t we have used and has been very effective plac ed under the Who I’d Like to Meet section on ySpace or the About Me section on Facebook: “If you are cute rather than hot, clever rather t han cool, petite rather than slim, then I would li e to meet you.” You must show that you have tandards. Women like men who know wh t they want. If you do not know what you want , now is the time to sit down and figure it ou . A PICTURE IS WORTH A THOUSAND WORDS

The pictures you choose to use n your profile are vitally important. In most ca es, these will be a woman’s first impression of yo u. Why not make it as good as possible? The fo llowing are some guidelines to follow when choosing what pictures to use: Use a variety

You want to have pictures depic ing you doing a variety of different activities. Y ou don’t want to have twelve pictures of you drin king beer with your buddies. It is as if each pict re is showing off a different side of your perso nality. As we have already learned, women like a man with some depth to him. They want a man with a sense of mystery, a challenge to fi ure out. Your pictures can make her curious, a nd that is one of the most important first steps to attracting a woman online. Choose only the best

Choose only the pictures in whic h you look the best. If you upload ten pictures nd you only look good in three of them, then the other seven are creating a bad impression. It would be far better to only have those three i n which you look your best. If in doubt, put you r pictures up on a photo-rating site like www.Hot orNot.com, and see which ones receive the hig hest rating. Embed pictures into your profile

We have found that actually em bedding pictures into your profile is the easiest and most effective way to make a great first impression on girls. This allows a girl to get a snapshot of how exciting and fun you are. R member, your page is your way of demonstrati ng how cool and how socially desirable you a re. Use a range of pictures showing different as pects of your personality. Have some action s ots, some travel shots, some of you with your niece or your dog, some partying with hot girl , some doing something goofy, etc. 31 Days to Better Game

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Bobby Rio

31 Days to Better Game: www.tsbmag.com On Facebook, you just need to add an application like Big Photo or Slideshows. On MySpace, the first step is to upload your pictures to an image hosting site like www.photobucket.com or your own MySpace photo album. Next, paste the following HTML code into any section you want the photo to show up (i.e. About Me, Interests, Who I’d like to Meet):
Where http://www.imagehost.com/images/pic.jpg will be re-placed with the URL pointing to your image. By specifying the width property in the tag you ensure that your photos will have a consistent width (the height of the image will be adjusted automatically to maintain the original aspect ratio). This technique will ensure that your images are not too large and that they’re easy to view. Hint: write funny captions to go along with your pictures to demonstrate even more of your personality Just paste the following HTML code above the embed image code shown above:

Picture caption
Main profile picture

For your main profile picture, if you are going to put up a picture of just yourself, make it either a really good/professional picture (no wannabe modeling pictures with your shirt off please), or one of you doing something exciting like surfing, rock-climbing, posing in front of the Eiffel Tower, dancing, etc. Otherwise make it a group picture with cute girls in it. If you don’t have any, go out to a club and tell the hottest girl you can find that you need some new MySpace/Facebook pictures to make your ex-girlfriend jealous. Girls love to make other girls jealous! Caution: If you are going to put up a picture of you with your shirt off, make sure you are in good shape and doing an activity where it is appropriate to have it off (i.e. at the beach, playing football, etc.). But just to be safe, don’t put up a picture of you shirtless…EVER! OTHER USEFUL ATTRACTION ELEMENTS AND TIPS

Use Music Music is a great way to connect with girls. You can find music on MySpace in the Music section, which you can get to from the main navigation bar at the top of the page. Using a playlist is even better. That way you can have a whole variety of music. We have received so many


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Bobby Rio

31 Days to Better Game: www.tsbmag.com comments on the songs we have chosen. This is just one more way for her to connect with you. The playlist tool we use is: www.projectplaylist.com. Hide your Friends List (MYSPACE ONLY)

If you are just starting and have no friends, you can place this code in any section to hide your friends list: We recommend you do this anyway. If she can’t see your friends and sees a number of comments from gorgeous looking girls, which you can get using the technique we’ll cover next, she will definitely wonder. If she ever asks you why your friends are hidden, just say something like, “They all kept getting jealous about who was #1” or “I am a secret agent, and I don’t want to put my friends’ lives in peril.” Adjust your Privacy Settings (FACEBOOK ONLY)

There is far more of your personal contact information available to the general public on Facebook than on MySpace. Facebook also lists all of your recent actions on the site through a system called Mini-Feed. You can modify your privacy settings by clicking on the “privacy” link next to the “logout” link in the top right corner. We suggest that you remove all of your personal information such as email addresses and cell phone numbers. You don’t randomly give your personal contact information to people you don’t know, so why do it online? While the mini-feed makes it convenient to see what your friends are up to online, they can also see what you are up to. By default it lists all kinds of information like who you wrote to, what you wrote, comments you made, comments you received, and even when you add a friend! For the simple fact that you are going to be messaging multiple girls, it would be counterproductive for them to see that you have messaged other girls with the same or even similar messages For this reason, we recommend you configure the privacy settings for News Feed and MiniFeed by unchecking (i.e. turning off) most if not all of the notifications. 31 Days to Better Game

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Bobby Rio

31 Days to Better Game: www.tsbmag.com Create Instant Social Proof

To get comments on your MySpace page or Facebook wall from beautiful women just use this message: Subject : I was wondering … Body: My ex is stalking my profile. Could you leave a comment to make her jealous? You know how it is…haha. Thanks, - {your name/screen name/nickname}

or Subject : Strange Question Body: My crazy friends are sending me on an online scavenger hunt (I didn’t even know they had those?) for my (put in bday or some event that compels her to want to help you) and I have to get a sassy/fun comment on my page from the following:

1. The hottest girl I can find 2. The cutest girl I can find 3. The dorkiest girl I can find Can you guess which one you are? haha…so if you could help me out I will name my first born child after you… haha j/k but I would really appreciate it - (name) These comments will give you social proof. So when a new girl looks at your page and sees all these other attractive girls writing sexy things about you, she will wonder what makes you so sexy. This mystery builds attraction. It’s brilliant! Note: Make sure to use this technique with girls outside your area. This adds an air of mystique and ensures you don’t tap out potential girls in your area. THINK OF IT AS YOUR OWN PERSONAL COMMERCIAL

All in all think about your profile as your own personal commercial. A girl should be able to look at your profile and very quickly get an idea of what you are all about. Make your profile easy to read, show that you have a diverse personality, demonstrate that there are a variety of different people that enjoy your company and show that you can have fun and laugh at yourself. Having your profile set up correctly will literally supercharge your success with women online and put you light years ahead of all those other guys out there leaving your competition in the dust.


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Bobby Rio

31 Days to Better Game: www.tsbmag.com Remember to have fun with this and if you have any questions feel free to ask. Cheers, Race

Day 16 Tips for Flirting Online Written by Honey Originally Published: 07/02/2008

Flirting consists of a variety of tactics, both physical and verbal, that can be used in almost any situation. We flirt for a variety of purposes–from screening for a long-term partner, to scoring a one-night stand, to simply being social. The vast majority of our flirting techniques were developed for situations in which people were connecting face-to-face. However, in today’s increasingly technological world, flirting online has gone from a geeks- or losers-only pastime to a necessary skill. There are three main types of online flirting: 1. Pre-emptive flirting: creating a great profile. 2. Early-stages flirting: the first few e-mails and/or texts. 3. Later-stages flirting: keeping the momentum. Creating a Great Profile

Whether you have a subscription to an online dating service or not, odds are that you have a profile on some kind of social networking site. Because people are becoming increasingly accessible online (you can find out far more about far more people in a day via their profiles than you could in person), it’s important that you have a great profile. To have a great profile, you need to (1) come up in as many searches as possible, and (2) deliver the goods once someone clicks on your profile. As far as coming up in random searches, it’s important to understand how search engines work. Most searches that you will run are “keyword” searches (though many online dating services let you set all types of parameters via advanced search forms). Verbs don’t usually fare too well in keyword searches because there are so many conjugations (run, ran, running…). If you are the one searching, to run a successful search you are better off putting in a noun: runner.


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Bobby Rio

31 Days to Better Game: www.tsbmag.com When you are creating your own profile, you can easily increase the likelihood of coming up in other people’s searches by using synonyms. For example, if you like to run, you might also put jogger or marathon in your profile. This is especially important because no matter which of the three terms someone searches for, you’ll come up. If you’re running a search and come up empty the first time, you could try some synonyms as well, to catch people you might have missed. Once someone gets to your profile, the most important thing is specificity. List specifics. Tell stories. And don’t be afraid to ask questions—a nice rhetorical question gets the other person thinking about how they’d answer, and once they have an answer in their head, they’re halfway to e-mailing you! There’s a huge difference between the following: • •

“I like to hang out with friends, have fun, and watch movies.” “On any given Tuesday, you can find me at BJ’s brewery with friends, sipping on a Jeremiah Red and talking about how Robert Downey Jr.’s performance saved Iron Man. When I told my buddy that I thought The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor stood a chance of being decent, he almost spit his beer out! What a waste of a great porter. How about you and I go see it and then tell my friend how wrong he was about Jet Li?”

Now the first thing you’ll probably notice is that the second example is much longer. Well, that’s no accident. While you don’t want to go on and on, the two big keys to a great profile are making sure your profile is upbeat (no one wants to date a bummer) and saying something of substance . For heaven’s sake, if the online world is like a giant bar, then how can you come off as a person of value if you don’t have anything to offer beyond clichés? The First Few E-mails

Unsurprisingly, my advice about the first few e-mails (or online chats, if you’re into that—I’m not, for reasons I’ll explain) is pretty similar to my advice about profiles. List specifics. Tell stories. Ask questions. However, one caveat is never, ever, “wink” at someone, or “poke” them or any of that gay sh#t. Man up and give the lady (or fella) some real communication. For anyone who’s been on these types of sites for any amount of time at all, these half-ass forms of communication are reviled and make you seem wussy (which, if you’re too chicken to make a real first move, you kinda are). Now, in a seemingly contradictory move, if someone winks at you and you at all like their profile, you should definitely respond back with an e-mail. You know they’re interested, so half your work is already done for you! You can tease them about using a wink at some point later on. The formula for a great early e-mail is pretty simple: 31 Days to Better Game

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Bobby Rio


• •

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If they e-mailed or winked at you first, thank them for doing so. Say something specific that you liked about their profile, and word it as a compliment ("I couldn’t help but be excited when I noticed that you are an animal lover”). Tell a story from your own experience that relates to what you liked about their profile (”I’ve never been a dog person, but last summer I found an abandoned Jack Russell in the parking lot of my complex. I looked for his owners, but never found them. Now a year later he’s there to greet me when I get home from work!”). As a question that escalates the interaction to the next level, i.e. a phone call or a meeting, and also starts to build a non-threatening sexual vibe (”Maybe we should meet up at the dog park Saturday afternoon? I promise, only one of us bites…”).

I’m not a believer in asking for the digits but rather proposing the meetup. The reason for this is that the other person will then offer their digits without you having to weaken your position at all by asking! I met my BF on Myspace, and our first couple of interactions followed the pattern above. I sent him a one-line e-mail, and he e-mailed me back to say that we had a favorite author in common. After a couple exchanges he tried to add me as a friend and couldn’t because he didn’t know my last name. When he e-mailed to ask, I said, “I’m sorry, I don’t add people that I haven’t met in person.” He said, “How about beer on Friday?” And that was our first date… The reason that I’m going to come out against online chat is that (and I know this is a personal pet peeve) I hate all that misspelling and “textspeak.” Type real words, damnit! And since I type about 70 wpm and hardly anyone else does, it’s pretty tough for me to come off as anything except overly chatty. I like e-mail because you can control the length and content as well as proofread for spelling and other errors before you hit “send.” It’s just much easier to put your best foot forward when you use e-mail as your medium. If they suggest chatting, go for it—just remember the possible cons. Keeping the Momentum

Once you’ve met in person, a flirty e-mail is a great tool to keep in touch, sustain momentum, and keep your interactions light and fun. The big tips: Again, use real words, spell everything correctly, and make sure you’re not e-mail ing a work account. •

Keep your e-mails brief and stick to one topic; you should be teasing her with the promise of your presence, not overwhelming her with super-long e-mails (which also kind of make you look like a loser who has nothing better to do in your spare time).


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Bobby Rio


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Don’t send more than two e-mails per day, and don’t you dare send that second e-mail until you hear back from her first. Again, the goal is to sustain momentum, not to come across as desperate or stalker-ish. Keep it light! You should be making deep connections in person—trying to do so over email just makes you a bummer, since so many nuances, tone, and body language is lost when it’s just a window on someone’s computer screen. Tease, make a mild sexual comment, or just say how much you’re looking forward to your next meetup.

Flirting is an art, and the keys are paying attention to the other person, avoiding clichés at all costs, and knowing when enough’s enough. Best of luck!


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Bobby Rio

31 Days to Better Game: www.tsbmag.com Day 17 Phone Game Strategy Written by Hot Alpha Female Originally Published: 07/03/2008

So let me paint the picture. You see a hot chick at a club, shopping centre or the tennis club. You build up the guts to talk to her, make her laugh and somehow manage to get her number. You think to yourself “SWEET!! I’m in”. You end up calling her a couple of days later, like the rule book suggests... to ask her out on a date. She doesn’t pick up. You think 'hey she is busy' and you try again later that same day. You still don’t get a response. So you call again and finally you get an answer. You talk to her expecting that things are going to pick up where you left off and are utterly stunned when she starts making excuses as to why she can’t meet up with you. She says that she will get back to you and she never does. You are left scratching your head, thinking to yourself “where did it go wrong?” So here is the thing. Some of you may be baffled by this whole situation. To some of you it doesn’t make sense. Well I’m going to lay out for you what is REALLY happening and what you really SHOULD be doing. Sound good? Let's get started. Rule # 1 - Don’t Contact Her for At Least 48 Hours

I know it sounds hard doesn’t it? But you have to stick by these rules. Bec ause when you can't wait for the 48 hours you appear needy and in need of a life. Here is the thing. I have been on dates with guys and literally like 2 minutes after the date they are msging me and telling me what a great time they had on the date and how they would like to see me again.


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Bobby Rio

31 Days to Better Game: www.tsbmag.com Then I have also had guys who send me a message straight after a date and then send me another one 30 minutes later wondering why I haven’t sent them a reply yet. The only thing that runs through my mind is... stalker; get a life, and ewwww. It's like an instant turn off. And there is no logical way to explain it. So do it not only as a favor for me, but for all the other poor girls out there. Just make sure that when you follow this rule that you don’t wait too long after 48 hours. Anything more than 4 days and the girl (if she is interested in you) starts to get pissed because you didn’t call her within that “calling period” and she assumes that you are not interested. You can mess with a girl and pretend that you are not interested, but this is not one of those instances. Rule # 2 - Send Her A Text Msg First

You know scoring a date is kind of like making a sale. Except the item that you are selling is yourself. So in other words you are going to have to look like something that she would want to date/buy. Now that doesn’t mean being something that you are not. But it does mean that for the moment you operate within a certain guidelines until you have internalized all this “game stuff” … so bear with me ok? So as part of this, stick to the rule of messaging her first before you call her. Every girl is comfortable with texting. In fact we like them more to begin with. See it's great for us and is great for you too. It means that you can actually think about what you want to write, you don’t have to think on the spot. Now the main agenda with text is to warm her up. Let her know that you are on her radar and that you will be in contact with her soon. If a guy texts us within 2 days of us handing out our number then that is sufficient enough for us to know that you are interested without appearing really needy and wussy. Now as a general rule with msging keep it short and sweet. Banter a lot, but don’t get into these msging conversations. At the absolute maximum make sure that you only send 2-3 msgs in one conversation. Always be the one to end the msging conversation.


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Bobby Rio

31 Days to Better Game: www.tsbmag.com This means that when the conversation is nearing an end, you are the one that has to stop sending her msgs. Some of my friends have trouble with this, because they feel in control by being the ones to have the last say. But you have to look at it from the point of view that YOU are the one in control because you have the strength to stop the msging first =) Rule # 3 - Msg Her and Then Call Her

Ok so I have to admit that this is not something that I came up with. But one of the things that I heard one of the guys does on David D’s cds. He would msg this girl and then when she replied back, then he would call her within a minute or so. He found that significantly increased his chance of getting to speak to her, because she would have to be close to her phone in order to send the msg right?! Brilliant idea and I suggest that all you guys use it. Rule # 4 - Keep It Light And Keep It Casual

Ok so when you call her for the first time after she has given you her phone number then it's not a good time to start going into a deep and meaningful conversation. You actually want to keep things fairly casual and most importantly keep it brief. But just because it’s a short amount of time, doesn’t mean that you don’t have your work cut out for you! The first thing that you want to do when you call the girl is to break the ice and get her laughing. Essentially you want to get her back into the same state as she was in when she gave you that phone number. The best way to do this is to refer to something that happened when you last saw her. Maybe refer to a joke that you had previously found funny with her and give her updated content on it. This will bring her back to that place and help her feel more comfortable with you. That’s the thing with phone calls. You want to be able to establish comfort before you can even consider asking her out. If a girl doesn’t think that she will be comfortable with you or will be able to trust you then she will not even consider going on that date with you. So remember the rule, keep it light and keep it casual. Break the ice and get her to laugh before you even consider asking her out. 31 Days to Better Game

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Bobby Rio

31 Days to Better Game: www.tsbmag.com Rule # 5 - Keep It Short and Sweet

This kind of follows on from the other points. But seriously don’t talk too long. Like 5 minutes. As a general rule with this whole gaming and dating thing … Less is always MORE! Seriously… You don’t have to get an update of what this chick has been doing in the past 2 da ys. She doesn’t have to know about all your past relationships before you guys go on a date. All you have to get a chick to do... is know you, like you and trust you ,and then you can get her to go anywhere and do just about anything with her. Rule # 6 - Leave one voicemail that’s IT!

If you have to leave a voicemail then make sure that its only one. Two or more becomes stalkerish. I know it sounds silly but its true and this is what goes through a chick's head. When courting a girl, you need to remember to give her the space to think about you. If you are constantly trying to impede on her space then she is totally not going to appreciate it. Give her the gift of missing you ok? So with a voice mail you need to remember to keep it short and sweet. You don’t have to repeat your number and all that crap; just leave a short msg and then hang up. So in regards to what you should say, then you can say something a little ball busting and then get her to give you a call back. When calling a girl, be prepared for a voicemail and know what you are going to say as well. There is nothing worse than a long winded voicemail msg with a guy who doesn’t know what he is talking about, who is wasting your time and YOUR credit! Random Tips

Some of you may be wondering how many times you should call before giving up. Firstly you should msg first. If the girl msgs back, then your chances of getting to talk to her again are much higher.


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Bobby Rio

31 Days to Better Game: www.tsbmag.com If you msg a girl and she doesn’t msg you back... and this msg contained some call to action on her behalf; then you need to know that you are going to have to do some major work on getting this girl to go on a date with you. Persistence is not the only tool you need. There is no point in doing the wrong things over and over hoping that you will get a positive result in the end. You have to do what works. Remember to warm a girl up to you. You can tell that a girl has warmed up to you when she is laughing at your jokes and the conversation is flowing. Here’s a tip. When a girl talks with ease, it means that she is comfortable with you. If you find her being more quiet that usual, then there is something up and she is not comfortable, because A) she thinks that you are a freak or B) she hasn’t warmed up to you yet. In regards to what you should talk to her about … your main aim is to bust her balls, make her laugh and have a good time. Keep it short and sweet and always leave her wanting more. Now with that said … Now I want to see better conversion rates ok? *winks*


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Bobby Rio

31 Days to Better Game: www.tsbmag.com Day 18 Text Game for the Pua Written by Lance Originally Published: 07/07/2008

Text game is an integral part of my arsenal. Before I get started, I want to say a few words about writing style. Good spelling and punctuation; use it! Don’t use cutesy textspeak (ur instead of your, etc), use punctuation, and supplement your lines with smiley's and other emoticons. Why the big deal about grammar and spelling? Because if you’re using good English, you’re coming from a position of high value and it shows you have a command of language. Obviously, language is part and parcel of what pickup is all about. This also sets you apart from the legions of dorks who can’t spell worth a crap. I have a few exceptions here. I use a few acronyms, such as OMG or WTF. WTF is a good one, because you avoid the profanity but still express surprise or shock. Also, consider this. I’m a bit older, around 30, and the girls I socialize with are high value woman in their mid or late 20’s that are educated. Using textspeak on a 28 year woman with an MBA would totally de-attract her. To get the high value woman, keep your language as tight as possible. Okay, I use texting for the following reasons: 1. 2. 3. 4.

Flirting. Maintaining a connection. Escalation. Quick scheduling or announcements when I’m on the go.

Since item 4 is fairly self-explanatory, I’ll focus on 1 - 3. Here’s how it breaks down: Flirting

When used in the right ways, flirting via text is very effective. Texting has similar properties to flirting over email (or sending messages using facebook or myspace), but the quality that sets it apart is immediacy . Everyone has a cell phone, and pretty much everyone has it on their person at all times. If you send a text, the other person is going to read it within a few seconds. Conversely, if you send an email, it’s possible that person won’t read it until the evening or the


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Bobby Rio

31 Days to Better Game: www.tsbmag.com next day if you’re sending it to a personal account (and you should…don’t send flirty emails to a work or business account). Not only that, but getting a text is like a little treat that breaks up the monotony of your day. Everyone loves to receive text messages! I haven’t delved into this, but I think some people derive a certain degree of social clout from the number of texts they get. If you’re a chick and you’re getting dozens more texts than the next girl, then you’re more popular…at least that seems to be the psychology. If anyone wants to dive into point, I’d love to hear some perspectives. One way I flirt over text is to send messages that will compel her to write back. It’s like playing a little game. Here are a couple of examples: “Hey, just ate lunch at this great Thai place, you would love it!” “Guess what I’m doing right now…it’s f’ing awesome!” “Just read your horoscope, it’s crazy.” All of these messages are intended to come out of the blue and compel her to write back and ask what it is you’re talking about. The key is being playful, interesting, and fun. Once she responds, you should banter back and forth for a bit, ie basic flirting. This gets her thinking about you and this method can be used to maintain a connection or escalate, it just depends on the direction you want to go. I’ll use texts as a direct compliment. I often do this after a first date, either in the same night or the next morning. “You looked totally sexy in that dress.” “Had a blast, conversation was great, you’re a great kisser WOW!” “You’re the cutest Leo EVER rawr.” This creates a strong statement of interest and let’s her know that you’re absolutely interested in going further. There’s nothing wrong with a compliment as long as you’ve established a strong masculine frame during the date. It’ll pump her up and get her thinking about how cool you are. I’ll use this to spur a longer text conversation and then mix in some “normal” text convo, such as asking how her day went. This dialogue establishes that you’re a normal guy and not a player (haha) or merely a flirt. Maintain a Connection

If I’ve number closed a chick and I know I can’t see her again until the next weekend, I’ll text her just a little bit during the week to remind her who I am. The key here is to flirt and be a bit mysterious so that she’s compelled to see you when you ask for a first meetup. I ra rely do fluff


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Bobby Rio

31 Days to Better Game: www.tsbmag.com talk in these instances because you’ll risk losing the attraction by seeming mundane. As with everything else you should calibrate. I like texting during the day when I know she’s at work. Let’s face it, Monday at the office sucks (if you’ve got an office job) and getting flirty texts can be a real pick-me-up. I’ll mix this in with a couple of emails, some Myspace stuff, and a phone call or two to maintain the connection until I see her again. Keep in mind that pickups are tenuous affairs and flakes can happen at any time…texting helps to cement a future meetup. Usually what I do when maintaining a connection is to offer a bit of value, such as a laugh, a two line story, or a horoscope (astrology is chick crack). Your goal should be very simple, just make her smile! Credit Sean Deacon on that one, but I think it’s really true. You can use the same lines from above, but here are another couple of examples that initiate a value giving conversation: “Holy sh*t, the craziest thing just happened to me!” “Your horoscope is insane today.” What’s great about the horoscope thing is you can look up the quickie horoscopes on astrology.yahoo.com and hit her with one. I’ve never met a girl who didn’t like getting her horoscope. OR, if you’re really slick, you can make one up on the spot and sex it up a little. This can be great fun and it’s an easy way to escalate. Here’s an example: “The planets are aligned–today is a day for secrets, drama, and hot monkey sex. Don’t be afraid to cut loose.” Escalation

Texts are a great way to introduce or maintain a sexual frame. For instance, if you did a quick 5′ pickup and number closed a girl with a minimum of sexual framing, you can hit her like this: “Hey, it’s the hot guy you met an hour ago, what are you doing??” “I loved your glasses, you’ve got that sexy nerdy look RAWR.” “We should have talked to you longer DAMN you’re cute.” This way you’re either establishing a sexual tone or maintaining one and getting her excited about thinking about you. Chicks eat this up, and if you’re calibrated properly and pumping out good lines, this shit kills. You can do pretty much the same things if you’ve already had a date with a minimum of kino or maybe just a kiss close. Hit her with texts that have a sexual tone and just plow forward. She’ll follow your lead and likely respond back with flirty, sexy texts. I’m a big fan of these:


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Bobby Rio

31 Days to Better Game: www.tsbmag.com “Had a blast, OMG I could barely keep my hands off you!!” “I can tell you’re going to be trouble.” “My mom warned me about girls like you.” If you’re deep into a sexual frame with a chick, or if you’ve already had sex with her and plan on doing it again (ie dating or FBs), you can and should use text as a way to maintain attraction. Let’s say you’ve had sex once and you’re setting a date for next Friday night. Try these: “Okay, I’ll meet you for drinks, but you’re going to have to work extra hard for me.” “Three guesses what I’m doing…if you get it wrong, you’re getting spanked.” “Happy hour on Friday…Don’t worry, I won’t let you take advantage of me ;)” Work your basic push-pull and teasing in there. This shows you’re playful and flirty and wil l get her into a sexual state of mind. Even if I’m dating someone and I know I can nail her whenever I want, I’ll still flirt because it’s a hell of a lot of fun and it gets her hot for the Lance cock. All of these lines are examples and you should easily be able to come up with your own.


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Bobby Rio

31 Days to Better Game: www.tsbmag.com Day 19 How to Go on First Dates Written by Roosh V Originally Published: 07/08/2008

Besides sex, first dates are the most fun part of the game. You have two people who barely know each other alone and isolated with sexual tension and possibility in the air. Here are a few things to make them more successful. 1. Pick the right day . Don’t try to do a first date on a weekend, especially if you haven’t kissed her yet. Weekend dates send the wrong message that you value her too much; ready to give a “primetime” night to someone you just met. Plus chances are she will be busier on weekends anyway. Stick to Monday through Thursday for the first date. 2. Pick the right venue. You can get a lot done taking girls to coffee and ice cream dates, but if your goal is to get into her pants as fast as possible, you must go for drinks. Start the date at a quiet bar well after dinner so you don’t have to worry about getting food. Even if the date is short of a blockbuster, it’s very hard not to get at least a make out if she’s had three drinks in her. 3. Preparation. There is no way you can memorize enough routines for a two hour or more date, and even if you can it would be a stupid waste of energy. You’re going to have to be, well, real and this is where I hope your vibe is fun and interesting. If not then dates will be a challenge. The only thing I do before dates is have two fun routines ready, usually the cube and some type of fake palm read. I also remind myself of a handful of innocent touching moves that prime her for the kiss. Quick tip: On your way to dates call up a couple friends and shoot the shit for a while. Since first dates are mostly a talking affair, you want that part of your brain ready. The worst thing you can do is lounge around at home all day in front of your computer and then go out without talking beforehand. 4. She’s more nervous than you are. It’s natural to be nervous, especially with the pressure of getting laid hanging over your head. But I guarantee you she is more nervous than you are, simply because she’s a girl and we all know the ones who can’t even go to the bathroom without a friend. The more you have your internal game straightened out and believe a girl should prove her value to you, the less you will be nervous. Think of her on a stage, twirling and spinning for your pleasure. Whether this is reality or not doesn’t matter… just believe it.


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Bobby Rio

31 Days to Better Game: www.tsbmag.com 5. Show up late. I have a friend who shows up fifteen minutes late and I’m not sure that is extreme or not but I’m always at least five minutes later. You want to stir up some anxiety and fear that she’s being stood up so that her insecurities are driven inward instead of on you, where she judges you and picks for flaws. Even if you arrive early, mill around for a while until you are late. I cannot stress how important this is. 6. Focus on escalation. That’s your number one goal. A touch here or there that gets extended as the night goes on, then touching her hands and putting your arm behind her in the booth of the lounge you picked. The first half hour will have almost no touching probably, but then the drinks get in your system and it becomes natural. While you don’t want to sound like a total idiot on the date, the reason you kiss her will be more because of the touching than the conversation. The kiss will be a foregone conclusion. 7. Go for the lay. Even if you don’t think you will get the lay on the same night, it’s still a smart idea to go for it as you drop her home because it makes your job much easier for the second date. The farther you get on the first date, the less work you have to do on a second. Plus even if the date goes well, you can’t make the assumption there will be a second. How about if her long lost ex boyfriend calls the next day? You’ll kick yourself if you didn’t push as far as you could get. As you probably noticed, most of the work in turning out a good first date is done before you even show up. A little bit of preparation goes a long way in dates and it makes sense to do because you worked hard to meet her and get her out and don’t want to blow it with stupid mistakes. I made A LOT of stupid mistakes when first starting out in the game, but even before that I remember my strategy to getting kisses used to be hoping and wishing she’d make the move and do it on her own. I was too scared I would get rejected and look like an idiot. I sucked it up when I had enough and just started approaching like a machine, going on dates every wee k and noting what worked and what didn’t. It took me about six years of constant practice but I figured out the “vibe”, a mindset that keeps your game on without trying to game. This is especially useful on dates when you're focused less on routines than when you first approach. I also stumbled on half a dozen touching moves that help escalate on dates and in the bedroom, and also the idea of the multi-venue date system to increase rapport and trust. I share all this and a lot more in my book Bang. Of course it’s backed by my Bust Out The Condoms Guarantee.


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Bobby Rio

31 Days to Better Game: www.tsbmag.com Day 20 How to Get a Day Two Written by Bobby Rio Originally Published: 07/08/2008

A few years ago I was going through a slump with women. It was not so much that I wasn’t meeting any; it was that the ones I was meeting just weren’t up to my standards. These girls were falling for me quickly, and I would soon have to break their hearts. It was depressing me. I was really starting to believe that either there were no quality girls left in the world, or that I just couldn’t attract the ones I wanted. About that time I went on Match.com. A little while after going on the site I started an online flirtation with this cute Filipino girl. She would write me these long rambling emails at four in the morning (that were just the most amusing things to read)… and I soon found myself very attracted to her. We made arrangements to meet. When she arrived at my house, she was even hotter than her online photos portrayed her to be. Within minutes of talking to her I was already feeling like this was going to be different. I was sensing a connection I didn’t feel with the other girls. When we got to the bar, things went even better. The conversation was flowing naturally, we were laughing a lot, doing shots together, and teasing one another… it was genuinely the best date I had in months. Mid way through the date I was already imagining our future together. Although I didn’t get a kiss that night, she came back to my house for a bit, and the evening ended on a high note. The next day I couldn’t stop thinking about her. And although it had only been one day since I saw her, it felt like an eternity. My better judgment told me to wait a day or two before contacting her again… but I couldn’t help it, I sent her an email that night. Something along the lines of “had a really great time last night. What day this week do you want to play tennis” (we had talked about playing tennis on the date) She didn’t respond to the email for a couple days. When she did respond, all she wrote was “I had a good time too. You are a really funny guy,” She never mentioned the tennis invite. The night I got her email I called her. She didn’t answer so I left a message. She never called me back. I waited a week then emailed her again “Guess we didn’t connect as much as I thought” or something AFC like that. She wrote back the next day saying “Sorry I’ve just been busy. You’re really nice… I’m just not sure what I’m looking for right now in terms of relationships.”


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Bobby Rio

31 Days to Better Game: www.tsbmag.com BAM it was over. The one girl I actually felt a connection with didn’t even have interest in a second date. I began really analyzing what went wrong… and it became painfully obvious why she had no desire to see me again. Below I’m going to go over the mistakes I made on that meeting. My hope is that by reading through these mistakes I made you might be able to notice a thing or two that you’re doing that might be preventing you from getting a second date. Mistakes that will Prevent Day Two

Too quickly deciding that you like her. The previous girls that I was dating I was always the one doing the judging. I would sit back and let them prove their worth to me. This put me in the position to be the prize.

With the Filipino girl, I decided too soon that I liked her. Once I decided that I liked her I started working too hard to impress her. I was way too attached to the outcome of the date. Girls can sense when you’re investing more than they are, and it will immediately lower your value and put her in the position of being the prize. Resorting to Nice Guy Lines. I really believed that I had experienced a connection with the Filipino girl. I truly believed she was feeling the same way. Because I felt there was this “connection” there, I let my guard down. Normally I would never show my hand on a date… I would always keep the girl guessing what was going through my mind.

The mistake I made on this date was that I gave too much away. I was complimenting her way too much. I kept telling her how fun she was. I remember at one point I was smiling, and she asked “what?” and I said “You’re just really cute.” AGHHH I kept bringing up plans for a second date. We hadn’t even finished our first date and I was already asking her to play tennis together, to go see a movie she mentioned. Because I felt so comfortable with her I felt at ease to tell her about my recent trouble finding a girl I really liked. I dropped all “player” mode and started to open up with her way to soon. Not Escalating Kino. Although we were having a good time together, I was in “nice guy mode”, and was scared to ruin the evening by “moving too fast.” I would very rarely make any physical contact, and when I did I would quickly pull away as to not scare her.

Normally, even on dates with girls I didn’t like, I would be advancing towards sex after an hour into the date. Here I was 2 hours into a great date and I was scared to leave my hand on her waist for more than a second.


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Bobby Rio

31 Days to Better Game: www.tsbmag.com Let her Call the Shots. Once we got to the bar, she quickly took the role of leader. She was the one suggesting what to drink. When the bar got crowded, she was the one who suggested that we move to a table in the back, when the DJ played a song she liked, she was the one who suggested we go on the dance floor.

It was like I was so scared of making a wrong move that I gave all power to her. I even broke one of my cardinal date rules; always be the one who ends it. About midnight she is the one to say “it's getting late we should get going.” Trying to Plan the Next Meeting Before the Date Ended. In Bang, Roosh says “always say ’see you soon’ when you end a date.” That was something that I always naturally did before her, and have always naturally done since her. But that particular night I felt compelled to try to make plans to immediately see her again.

By making immediate plans you don’t give the girl the joy of wondering when she’s going to hear from you again. Remember, a large part of attraction occurs when the girl is away from you and thinking about you. The less sure she is in her status with you, the more time she is going to spend thinking about you. Contacting her too Soon After Day One. I used the fact that we had such a good time as a reason to call the next day. The fact that we had such a good time should have been used as a reason to wait a few days to call. If she really had a good time she would be going crazy waiting for my call. The whole time she’s waiting for my call my value is increasing in her mind by leaps and bounds.

I threw it all away by contacting her the next night. The minute I contacted her, her brain went “OK I have this guy… now let me decide if I want him.’ When you don’t call, her brain is going “Does he want me?” That is what you want her brain thinking. Acting Needy When She Wasn’t Responding Quick Enough. As many mistakes as I made on the date itself, I still believe I could have savaged it if I was able to stay cool during our contacts post date. Unfortunately I wasn’t. Whenever she delayed contacted me, I got needy and contacted her right away.

And when I sensed she was blowing me off… I did the worst possible thing my sending her a message stating my feelings and trying to guilt her into seeing me again. So how do you get a day two?


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Bobby Rio

31 Days to Better Game: www.tsbmag.com If you want to know how to get a day two… the answer is to not make these mistakes on day one. Roosh gave you a perfect strategy for day one. If you follow his strategy and avoid the mistakes listed in this lesson than you should be having no trouble getting second dates.


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Bobby Rio

31 Days to Better Game: www.tsbmag.com Day 21 Building Sexual Tension Written by Evil Woobie Originally Published: 07/10/2008

Sexual tension happens when two individuals feel attracted to each other, but don’t have sex, at least not yet. It doesn’t always lead to sex, though usually it does, and could go on and on for a lifetime without the individuals concerned acting on it. In simple terms, it’s the ‘chemistry’ that happens between individuals who like each other. When Sparks Fly

Extreme attraction develops under the safe haven of friendship. Friends have several things in common; they communicate a lot and spend time together. At what point does the attraction build so that individuals enjoying a platonic friendship just let go and freely act on the attraction? This happens when sexual tension peaks. I dated a guy who I shared a wonderful friendship with before going for the plunge. We’d see each other constantly and while all the things we did were wholesome, there was an undercurrent of attraction that can’t be ignored. In fact, if our wholesome scenes were to be made into a movie, the viewer would be most likely banging his head on his popcorn saying “get on with it already!” The main trouble is that whenever we are in alone dates, the devil called ‘friendship conscience’ comes in to ruin everything. The following words echo through our minds: “Hey, we’ve known each other too long to let something like a relationship ruin our friendship. We both know we are not ready for that .” And so, nothing happens, and the onlooker throws his soda at the screen. Escalating the Sexual Tension

Here are some subtle things a guy can do to fan the flames of burning attraction and cross the border between friends and friends-with-benefits: 1. At one or the other’s place, watch a movie with a story line that involves sexual tension Not porn, mind you, but one that has a gripping plot and an explosive love scene. Think Top Gun (Tom Cruise) and Disclosure (Demi Moore). Or better yet, ditch the romance movies and 31 Days to Better Game

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Bobby Rio

31 Days to Better Game: www.tsbmag.com rent a thriller. Some studies have shown that good horror films can be more sexually arousing than romance or even porn. The basis of which is that fear results in the same biological effects as sexual arousal i.e. rapid heartbeat, stimulated senses. Besides, being very, very scared is always an excuse to cuddle up. 2. Online chat - There are things that you can tell a person you feel attraction for online that you cannot say to her face. This is because you feel protected from an extreme reaction by your monitor and the x-mark on top of your browser. Saying something like “you really looked sexy today during class. It took all of my self control to prevent myself from just kissing you in a dark corner when we met for lunch” will convey the message that you appreciate her efforts to look her best. Because you’re friends, this will translate as sincere admiration more than harassment. She already knows that you like her, now it’s time to let her know that you think she’s hot. 3. Sexy Phone Conversation - While you bore her with the details of your soccer practice, casually mention that you’re wearing only boxers because the humidity is killing you (or my favorite, “I just took a shower”). Since you know that she’s also into you, this could lead to more prolific things, particularly if she’s feeling a bit naughty. The trick is not to sound too eager. Give her the power of seduction; make her feel that her voice and the theme of your conversation are turning you progressively on, bit by bit. Encourage her to talk about her fantasies, while sharing yours. And for goodness’ sake, do NOT mention another girl’s name. If you must describe making love, say “when a girl kisses my ear…” or something similar. Sex is not the End, but the Start of Better Things

You are still very, very good friends. Once you overcome the sexual tension that’s been plaguing your relationship, you are now free to continue a stronger friendship that will last for years and years to come, regardless if it developed into a more serious one or not


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Bobby Rio

31 Days to Better Game: www.tsbmag.com Day 22 Preparing Your Bachelor Pad Written by Bobby Rio Originally Published: 07/11/2008

This lesson is going to be a guideline for some general rules when it comes to maintaining your place. Obviously if you are in high school or college your place is going to look a little different than someone out of college making $100,000 a year. While your choice of decor may change, the fundamentals will always stay the same. Your place should serve a couple purposes. First, you should feel comfortable there. Although you want create an “at home feel” for yourself, you don’t want to overwhelm visitors with your personal taste. What your goal should be is for your place to be a reflection of yourself. Your best sel,f that is. Second, your place should provide some interesting conversation pieces for those visiting. Many times you will have someone you barely know back at your place. The easiest way to relieve that tension is to have a bunch of interesting pictures, furnishing, or decor for them to comment on. Third, your place should provide an environment that makes the women feel insanely comfortable. The more comfortable they feel at your place the more likely they will be to spend time there. One of the most important ways to make your place a comfortable place for both you and the women in your life to spend time at is to keep it clean. A Guideline for keeping your place clean

1. Dust. Focus your dusting on everything that can be seen. The most important areas are surfaces that are visible such as corners, floors, tables, TV, sofa. 2. Get rid of stains. Stains just reek of low class. If your floor has splashes of spaghetti sauce, or your counter is filled with grease… get it up. If your couches have stains on them cover them with some kind of soft blanket. 3. Wipe down windows, mirrors, and glass table. Windows are an easy thing to clean and will make the room appear much nicer when they don’t have dust and smudges reflecting off of them. The same can be said for mirrors and glass tables.


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Bobby Rio

31 Days to Better Game: www.tsbmag.com 4. Clean your computer area. This is often a spot you will find yourself at with a girl listening to music or watching a video clip. Make sure your computer is dusted off; your desk is in order, and most importantly… CLEAR YOUR BROWSING HISTORY ON YOUR COMPUTER. I can’t tell you how many guys I know have messed things up with a girl by giving her the opportunity browse through his computer while he was in the shower. You never know what’s on there. It's always safe to constantly be clearing it. 5. Your bathroom must be impeccable. If there is one area that girls will judge you the most on it's the way you keep your bathroom. Get rid of all hair in tub and sink. Make sure all stains and crud, or anything that would gross a girl out is gone. Keep the place stocked with toilet paper. Keep the towels hanging nicely. Make sure the toilet bowl smells good and looks clean. The last thing you want is a girl not coming over because she’s too grossed out to use the bathroom. Remember, what looks clean to us, doesn’t necessarily look clean to them. A Guideline for keeping your place smelling good

There is nothing that will turn a woman off quicker than walking into a place that smells like crap. Bad smelling homes are immediately associated with dirty people. The sense of smell is closely associated with arousal. You want to use this for your benefit and not against you. It is important to get other people’s perspective on the smell of your place. If you’ve been living with the smell for awhile chances are you won’t even notice it. You should have air fresheners for the kitchen and bathroom. The other rooms I would recommend using candles. Candles smell good and create a nice atmosphere. Below are some certain items you want to be aware of that may be contributing to a bad smell in your place. •

• • • •

Dirty sheets, blankets, and pillows. Especially in the summer time, these need to be changed often. Dump ashtrays regularly Take out the garbage daily Put gym gear in the laundry room Food remains should be wiped up immediately

A Guideline for keeping the place neat and tidy •

•

Get rid of all clutter. If there are items laying around that you no longer make use of; either throw them away or put them in the basement or garage. Don’t leave random stuff lying around. It communicates that you are a disorganized person.


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•

Put your clothes away. This is so simple, yet so many of us continue to leave shirts, pants, sneakers lying all over our bedroom.

A Guideline for making your place more comfortable to women

Lighting

Lighting makes a huge difference in the appearance of your place. I would usually recommend purchasing a dimmer that allows you to pull the lights up or down based on the mood. Lighting is one the most important elements of creating a good ambiance. Decor

This is the area where your personal taste sometimes has to be compromised a bit. While you want to reflect your personality you don’t want to look like The 40 Year old Virgin with rooms filled with toys, movie posters, and sports memorabilia. While all of these items have a place in your home, they should not be the most prominent items on display. The best idea is to find a style that you like, and then slowly decorate the place to match that style. For me, I decided I wanted my place to have the feel of Buenos Aires. I found several magazine articles that celebrated the style of Buenos Aires and then I created a look around those. I painted the place with Latin colors and then slowly found items that complimented the room. I find the best way to shop for home decor is online. I bought 90% of the framed art work, pictures, wall decorations, and window treatments online. Once I knew what style I was going for I began searching for items on Ebay and Amazon that would fit into the decor. I would buy items as I could afford them. In the past I would try to go out and decorate my new place in a weekend. My old strategy caused me to purchase a lot of cheap items all at once. This new strategy of decorating my place over the course of a couple months allowed me to search these sites, and when I found something I liked, purchase it as the money became available. Beverages

You always want to have either bottled or filtered water available. On that note, you want to make sure that your glasses and silverware are always clean. It is a safe bet to always have a couple bottles of wine lying around. I also tend to keep a six pack in the fridge, and stock a small bar with liquor.


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31 Days to Better Game: www.tsbmag.com When a girl comes back to your place, it's always nice to be able to offer for her to join you in a glass a wine. A fun thing to do is have some frozen cocktails on hand. Making her a margarita is always a nice way to break the tension and enjoy a good drink. Bedding

It goes without saying that you want your bed to be inviting as possible. The best way to do this is to not cheap out on a good mattress. Once you have a good mattress purchase a nice comforter set to go along with it. You always want to keep about four pillows on your bed. Another good habit to get into is making your bed every morning. Since a true player, never knows when he’ll be taking a new girl home, he must always be prepared for an overnight guest. Entertainment and Props

I mentioned earlier that your place should provide some interesting conversation pieces. This means that you should frame some “story worthy” photos and have them lying around. These photos will serve to demonstrate your personality as well as offer you a chance to tell some good stories. I mentioned yesterday how a good coffee table book can initiate conversation and break the tension of bringing a girl back your place. It's not a bad idea to keep some props lying around. Props include things like personality tests, interesting quizzes, this lie detector test, or other fun games. It's also not a bad idea to keep a stack of reliable DVDs lying around. These should be a good mix of romantic movies, comedies, and interesting documentaries. You never know what kind of mood the two of you will be in when you arrive at your place, and it's good to have a variety to choose from. Another good idea is to be constantly DVRing interesting things on TV. This allows you to always have something of value to throw on. An absolute great addition to your living room is Nintendo WII. This is a video game system that women finally seem to enjoy as much, if not more, than men. It's great because it can introduce some competitive flirting and offers a dynamic opportunity for kino. This should all be a great guideline for you to transform your place into an excellent bachelor bad. Remember that the main purpose of your place is to have you and her feel comfortable and to provide some entertainment for the two of you.


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Bobby Rio

31 Days to Better Game: www.tsbmag.com Day 23 Quick Lesson in Kino Written by The Dicknotist Originally Published: 07/14/2008

If you’re reading this, you’re probably looking for ways to obtain more sex in your life. Perhaps you want something more than just sex …or perhaps not. Either way, what separates true sex from porn is that the former involves touch whereas the latter is viewed through the pixels of a computer screen. Sex cannot happen without contact and neither can seduction. Too many guys make the mistake of focusing all their efforts on conversation and while your words may peak her interest, your touch is what will drive her wild with intense desire. From the moment a woman lays eyes on you, she’s unconsciously wondering how you’ll be in bed. Will you take charge as she surrenders her body to you or will you look to her on what to do? Will you be affectionate and attentive to her needs or will you just slam it in a few times and leave? Do you actually know what you’re doing in the bedroom or will she have to teach you like all the other guys? All of that is conveyed through your eye contact and touch. We’ve all read the now famous DiCarlo Escalation Ladder (DEL), which will give you the nuts and bolts of what to do, but not necessarily the mindset behind it. Guys who aren’t used to touching women will just lay their hands on her as if they’re in a video game. They earn five points for every time they brush her arm or tap her back. When I touch a woman, I don’t play for points; I play for pleasure. When I think of touch, I imagine that my hands are like paintbrushes plastering my emotions onto her body. Call me the Jackson Pollack of seduction: I paint her arms her arms and torso now so that I can sprinkle some more on her face later…with my other special brush. So, when first talking to a girl, I will often just lightly touch her outer arms and torso with my fingers as I’m talking to her. I see it as expressive: you touch her as you talk to emphasize important points. That touch is more subtle and friendly, aimed at just making her comfortable and more trusting. During high points in the interaction, however, your touch should become more appreciative. Touch serves two purposes: to emphasize what you’re saying to her and to appreciate her. An example of appreciation could be that in talking to her, she reveals that she works as a nurse. That immediately peaks your interest as your mom was a nurse and you realize the resiliency and compassion necessary for the job. Rather than just telling her how awesome that is, you should also touch her arm and hold it there a few seconds longer than usual and perhaps even stroke it. 31 Days to Better Game

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31 Days to Better Game: www.tsbmag.com Expressive touch is like a period: light and quick. Appreciative touch is like an exclamation point, lasting a good 2-3 seconds. Yet the point isn’t for you to have this in your head while talking to a woman but to give you a context for which touch can amplify and supercharge your game. When you touch her, touch her as if you’re already making love to her. Cup your hand as you touch her back and cup the back of her shoulder blades. Don’t forget her sensitive spots, including her inner arms, behind her knees, the skin fold on the other side of her elbow. Later on in the interaction, touching her neck, ears, thighs, breasts will amplify her desire. Don’t be afraid to graze her breasts! Graze them now so you can glaze them later. You can get away with murder in the field as long as you are relaxed and slow down. Calibration is simply the act of doing things much more slowly, which includes walking, talking, and touching. You may be nervous, but if you can slow down your actions, you will be seen as confident and in control. Of course, touch is best demonstrated by viewing and trying it yourself. An excellent resource on touch is The Joy of Erotic Massage, which takes you through more than you’ll ever need to give women incredible pleasure with your touch from the first meet to sex. You can purchase a copy on Amazon, though you’ll probably be able to get it free through other means… I hope that when you read this essay and even see the video above, you will get some fresh ideas on how to use touch to build trust and sexual tension. Yet, to get the most out of any endeavor, you must go out and hit the field. Experiment and develop your own style. Innovation never comes from passively reading and watching. Like any man of character, you must act.


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Bobby Rio

31 Days to Better Game: www.tsbmag.com Day 24 Body Language 202 Written by Dr. Fuji Originally Published: 07/15/2008

Body language is one of the most underrated, overlooked, and powerful elements in your social arsenal. The classic study on the elements of communication by Professor Albert Mehrabian (1971, “Silent Messages” Wadsworth, Belmont, California) found that nonverbal communication accounts for as much as 93% of all communication. Body language itself makes up more than half of that. So it should come as no surprise that what you say isn’t near as important as how and when you say it. In cold approach pick up, the individual who uses body language effectively often has significantly better results than his less-enlightened counterparts. In this article we’ll be delving into the use of body language to c onvey high value, how to show interest or disinterest non-verbally, and fixing common sticking points and pitfalls. Let’s begin. An interesting thing about body language is that it tends to override your verbal. In other words, people will believe your nonverbal communication more than even what you actually say. So if your verbally sub communicate high value but your non-verbal says the opposite, people will tend to trust the body language over the words. While seemingly counter-intuitive, the fact is most people tend to place more trust in forms of communication that are harder to consciously alter. We can lie with our words quite easily. Lying with our body language is much more difficult. Because your body language is so incredibly consistent, women especially have found that it’s generally a very effective way to evaluate others. And therein lays both the problem and the effectiveness of body language. It’s very difficult to change, but when you are successful, it conveys much more influence than other forms of communication. One of the most effective uses for body language is communicating value. We do this by consciously altering our behaviors and mannerisms from unattractive to attractive. Imagine two men, both of equal confidence, looks, attractiveness, and other factors. But one man makes eye contact when he speaks and the other looks away and fails to make eye contact. Who is more attractive? The objective is to sub-communicate through our body language that we are “highvalue” (read: attractive) men. By “high-value,” we mean that we have high quantities of the social and evolutionary value to which people respond. A “high-value” man is one who encompasses all of the qualities and mannerisms that women are hard-wired to find attractive. Think: confidence, leadership ability, power, attractiveness to other women, strength, internally validated, etc.


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31 Days to Better Game: www.tsbmag.com There are three main body positions in most social situations which you can use to convey value: How you stand, how you walk/move, and how you sit. Although full body language overhauls are beyond the scope of this article, the fundamentals are quite simple. When you’re standing, you want to stand with your feet shoulder-width apart or slightly wider, shoulders pulled back, standing up straight, and chest somewhat out. Your weight should generally be towards the rear of your soles (closer to the heel) so that you always appear to be leaning back. It should not be an uncomfortable stance, but one which clearly does not lend itself to laziness. Picture the way a U.S. Marine would stand when at ease. Your stance should project confidence. Your hands should drape at your sides the way they naturally fall. Do not put your hands in your pockets or cross them over your chest. When you walk or move, the object is to convey dominance and purpose. Your hands should swing naturally at your sides while you walk but without looking either stiff or “floppy.” Practice this in the mirror if you suspect they are moving unnaturally. Walk at about 50% of your normal speed when in the venue. When you are moving towards something (a set, an exit, the bathrooms, etc), take the shortest route possible—usually a straight line. Instead of circling a set several times like a vulture, walk straight up with confidence. Similarly, when moving through the crowd, you want to project dominance. Oftentimes women notice you and the way you move or interact with people and they make judgments about you before you’ve even noticed them. Dominance is tough to put in text but it’s something we drill in our live boot camps. The objective is to be verbally polite while “guiding” people out of your way. Don’t be afraid to touch both men and women while you’re walking through a crowd. A hand gently on the triceps or back letting people know you’re coming through is a dominant, yet polite way of moving through the crowd and communicating that you expect people to move out of your way. When you sit, the objective is to take up space while appearing relaxed and comfortable. Don’t overdo ‘taking up space’ lest you come off as try-hard. What you want to communicate is that you do not make any apologies for your existence and that you are used to always being comfortable. It’s the same concept as locking in. Useful tactics to convey this include draping your arms over the backs of chairs or over the seatbacks of booths or couches. Your upper body should ideally be leaning back without hunching over. Feet and legs can be spread moderately or crossed ankle-to-knee. Sliding forward slightly in your seat will allow you to lean back even in a vertically-backed chair. The main communication here is that you are comfortable and confident. Do not cross your arms over your chest for this reason. The other thing that body language is extremely useful for is showing interest or disinterest nonverbally. Because women are so much better attuned to body language relative to men, they feel your nonverbal indicators of interest (IOIs) or disinterest (IODs) much more powerfully than we do as men. For example, facing a set or group is one way to nonverbally show interest. Conversely, facing away is a subtle show of disinterest.


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31 Days to Better Game: www.tsbmag.com Other body language-based indicators of interest include: Leaning in, kino escalation (escalating physical touch), strong eye contact, and cocking your head to the side. Indicators of disinterest include: leaning back, putting barriers between you and the set or group (especially in front of your midsection, e.g. arms crossed, drink in front of the chest, etc), not smiling, “body rocking”, and looking away. Note that some of these things can also be considered demonstrations of lower value so be cognizant of what you are communicating to people. The power in nonverbal IOIs and IODs are that they can be used both subtly and oftentimes with more impact than their verbal counterparts. For example, a nonverbal false time constraint (an IOD) is much more powerful than a verbal-only version. As we’ve discussed earlier, people tend to place more credibility on body language than verbal communication because of the difficulty involved in controlling it. The punishment-reward sub-dynamic is the underlying principle behind Mehow’s Chase Cycling™ model and is most effective when body language is used to both reward good behavior and punish bad behavior. A great example of this is during the first minute of the interaction. Sets generally don’t face you right off the opener. They’re usually facing eac h other. When you begin to hook the set, you can tell by their body language – they start to turn toward you. You can then nonverbally reward by more directly facing them or giving emotional value. If they give you IODs, you can punish by facing away and throwing a false time constraint (a verbal IOD). This psychologically conditions women to invest and to work for you. And as we all know, we value that which we work for. Finally, there are certain body language mistakes that the majority of guys find themselves making during their training. By being aware of these common sticking points, you’ll be better equipped to stop them before they become bad habits. Let’s examine a few of the most common: Leaning In: This is one of the most common sticking points most guys make. Leaning in is an instinctive body language move that you have to consciously change. The lower the set i s (seated, lying down, shorter than you, etc.), the more you’ll feel the urge to lean in. Don’t do it. Have a wing observe you in set and let you know when you’re leaning in. Rewarding bad behavior: Directly and continually facing a set which is closed off and giving you IODs is rapport and acceptance-seeking. You are non-verbally rewarding the set for defiance. Instead, mirror a set’s body language IODs with your own. Take advantage of both false time constraints and body rocking to avoid continually facing a set that isn’t hooking. Lacking dominance: Everything you do in field should be done with confidence and dominance. From the initial approach, to kino escalation, to simply walking through the crowd, your body 31 Days to Better Game

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31 Days to Better Game: www.tsbmag.com language is communicating things about you. Dominant body language communicates confidence, pre-selection, and social proof. Fidgeting: Nervous ticks such as swaying from side to side, playing with your hands or fingers, moving around too much, or playing with your drink all tell the set and everyone around you that you are not only nervous around them, but that they are higher value and thus, you are emotionally reacting to them. The emotion of nervousness often manifests itself through these nervous behaviors. Eliminate them. You’ll notice a marked improvement in your interactions. Drink shield: This is another common sticking point the majority of men have. The “drink shield” is when people hold their drink in front of their chest in a social environment. The sub communication behind this body language tick is that you’re nervous and uneasy. So your instinctive reaction is to cover your midsection (traditionally the most vulnerable spot on most mammals) with some sort of protection. In this case it’s the drink. Instead, hold your drink down by your hip and don’t cross your arms or take a protective stance. You a re trying to convey abundance, security, and relaxation with your body language. Hands in pockets: This behavior also communicates that you’re nervous and that you feel awkward. You don’t know what to do with your hands so you shove them in your pockets. Instead, let them hang naturally by your sides. Force yourself to relax and let your arms just fall. At the beginning you’ll have to force this, but after some practice, you’ll start to automatically relax more in social situations. Of course, there’s dozens more sticking points many guys will experience, but these are the absolute most common ones. Fix these behaviors and you’ll see a significant improvement in your game and in your own state. Hopefully this article has been able to shed some light on the importance of body language as a whole. We’ve learned that not only does it allow us to show value, but to also convey interest or disinterest without opening our mouths. And of course, we’ve examined some of the most common sticking points and come up with solutions and fixes to remedy them. One interesting side effect of good body language is that it not only affects your interactions but your psychology as well. The human brain is constantly reacting to stimuli from the sensory system, and body language is no exception. Your physiology often has a significant effect on your psychology. This is why faking a smile for an extended period of time often makes us feel better on the inside as well. And it’s the basis behind parents telling their children not to cross their arms or frown. Just as your mind affects the body, your body too affects the mind. We cover body language much more in depth in our live programs and boot camps and also in Mehow’s esteemed Get the Girl!™ Manual available at www.mehowgetthegirl.com. Information on our live programs can be found at www.mehow.tv. See you all in the field, 31 Days to Better Game

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Bobby Rio

31 Days to Better Game: www.tsbmag.com DJ Fuji Chief Instructor


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31 Days to Better Game: www.tsbmag.com Day 25 Being the Bad Boy Written by Bobby Rio Originally Published: 07/16/2008

You probably noticed as far back as grade school, that girls are attracted to guys who possess a bit of that bad boy persona. In fact, if you’re like most us, you’ve probably often asked yourself “why all girls like the assholes?” or “How come the jerks get all the girls?” This is not so say that being a bad boy makes you an asshole or a jerk. The reason most of us viewed these guys as assholes or jerks is simply because we were jealous and envious that these guys were always dating the girls that we wanted, while we were getting stuck in the friend zone. So instead of trying to learn from these “jerks” whom we weren’t alpha enough to hang with, we found it easier to blame society for our lack of success with women, and create an acceptable excuse for ourselves, “women only like the assholes.” Well boys, it’s time to MAN up! There is plenty that can be learned from these bad boys. Even if some of their reckless behavior will never suit your personality, you can try adopting some of their character traits to increase your attractiveness. If you’ve found yourself too often getting stuck in the friend zone, it is simply because that is the vibe that you’ve been sending off. You want to shed your “nice guy” image? It is impossible to try to imitate specific bad boy behavior. It will come across forced and insincere. Instead, put yourself in their mindset. Live life through their eyes. The Bad Boy trait you should emulate

1. You’re fearless. Most people are insecure. Most people suffer some form of anxiety disorder. Most people are held back by various forms of fear. If you want to stand out in a crowd; live a fearless existence. Feel the fear; then do it anyway. Most of our fears are completely unwarranted. Most fear stems from our need for approval. We are held back by our fear of losing our job, our fear of being laughed at, our fear of going broke, our fear of rejection, our fear of ruining our reputation, our fear of making a mistake. 31 Days to Better Game

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31 Days to Better Game: www.tsbmag.com What would your personality be like if you weren’t governed by all of these fears? If you take a look at the short list of our major fears… you’ll find that not one of them is life threatening. In fact, most of our major fears are solely based on what thoughts someone else will have about us. How ridiculous does that sound when you really think about it? 90% of the decisions that you make are influenced by your need for approval. Most of us are working a job we hate, lonely or in a shitty relationship, have given up our dreams… because we are afraid of making the wrong decision, and we’re not even afraid of the consequences of the wrong decision… We are afraid of what people will say about us… what people will think about us. How refreshing is it when we meet someone who isn’t controlled by these fears? Women are attracted to bad boys, because bad boys provide an adrenaline rush that the average guy does not. In the average guy, a woman sees a reflection of most of her fears and insecurities. This is why the average guy becomes her friend. Because they can sit and talk and wallow in their fears and insecurities together. The bad boy makes her forget all about her fears and insecurities. He takes her into his fearless existence. And she gets addicted to it. My challenge to you

Live the next two days of your life completely fearless. Just for the next two days, say what you feel like saying, approach who you feel like approaching, tell someone who has pissed you off to “fuck off,” do exactly what you want to do. Do you want to call out of work and go the beach? Do it! Do you want to tell the counter girl at the bank that she’s sexy as hell? Do it! Do you want to finally change the style of your haircut? Jump out a plane? Get a tattoo? Have sex with a stranger? Do whatever the fuck you want! Whenever the fuck you want! Do this for just 2 days and experience the thrill of being fearless. After the two days you can go back to worrying about what people think, or how you appear, or whatever other insignificant, trivial reason is holding you back. More information on being the bad boy

In our most recent podcast we went over an entire list of ways you can take on more of the bad boy attitude. We even went into specific examples, showing how a bad boy would react as opposed to the typical “nice guy.” 31 Days to Better Game

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Bobby Rio

31 Days to Better Game: www.tsbmag.com If you feel that you need to incorporate more bad boy traits into your persona I highly recommend listening to our How to Be the Bad Boy Women Want podcast . http://www.tsbmag.com/2008/07/13/how-to-be-the-bad-boy-women-want/


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31 Days to Better Game: www.tsbmag.com Day 26 How to Turn a Female Friend into Your Girlfriend (Part 1) Written by Bobby Rio Originally Published: 07/18/2008

For the sake of this lesson I am going to make a couple assumptions. First, I am going to assume that the female friend you’re interested in has firmly placed you in the friend zone. I will also assume that you are actually friends with her and not just an acquaintance. This means you spend a reasonable amount of time with her, and communicate often through phone, texts, or Myspace/Facebook. Bobby’s Step by Step Plan

The first thing that you need to do is effectively disappear from your friend’s life. This means cut off phone calls, text messages, emails, and visits. This is to be done without making her feel like you’re mad at her. The whole goal is to make her wonder what is going on in your life that you no longer have time for her. When she contacts you… don’t answer the phone call, text or email immediately. Wait a day or two before getting back to her. When you do talk to her be pleasant, but brief and vague. You should spend at least one month apart. The better friends you are with this girl, the longer this process should go on. What you are doing here is confusing her, and the confusion will cause her to spend more time thinking about you. Her simply missing you will not be enough to stir up immense attraction for you. While you’re gone you also need to arouse some jealously on her part. Although you will be vague, you should always be implying that really great things are going on in your life. This is a fine line that you have to be careful as you walk. She can never feel like you’re bragging, trying to make her jealous, or lying… The whole attitude should be that really great things are going on in your life… but you’re holding back from telling her because you don’t want to make her feel bad. Vagueness is the key to this part. Now you need to amplify the jealousy and confusion. A great way to do this is to call her and ask her to hang out. Assuming enough time has gone, she will be relieved that you finally called… and her jealousy and confusion will dwindle… Just when she thinks things are going back to the status quo... cancel the plans with her. When you cancel don’t schedule a new date. Once again, be vague.


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31 Days to Better Game: www.tsbmag.com In the meantime, another great way to create jealousy is to take advantage of social networking sites. Assuming that the both of you are active on at least one social networking site like Myspace or Facebook, you can bet she will be checking out your profile to see what’s going on in your life. It is important that you change up your profile a bit, add some new cool pics (preferably with some hot girls.) To go even further I would recommend getting a bunch of attractive girls to leave comments on your page. Race and Kelly give a great way to go about getting these comments. The entire time that you’re away from her you need to be working on yourself. If there are physical areas of you that need improvement, now is the time to get serious about change. If you’re over weight, do everything you possibly can to get to your ideal weight. If you’re scrawny… join a gym and follow a good plan for bulking up. Basically you want to do everything I outlined in day 3 about updating your look. It is crucial that after her long time away from you, that when she finally sees you again there is a very noticeable improvement in your appearance. During your time away from her you also need to be working on your social skills. You should not spend all of your time away from her thinking about her and planning your next move. You need to be filling your days with the most exciting, challenging, and personally rewarding events imaginable. You should be doing everything you can to take your mind off of her. You should be out talking, flirting, and building attraction with as many girls as you can. You should be hitting on other girls with reckless abandon. Improving your social skills serves many purposes. Above everything else, it gives you a chance to see if you really want this girl to be your girlfriend. Many times guys fall for their female friend because she is the only girl in their life. Once these guys go out and meet some new girls they realize that there is an abundance of women and no longer cling to this one girl the way they used to. The other benefit of improving your social skills will be that it will naturally make you more attractive to your friend. The confidence you will gain through your improvements will radiate throughout you. Your new found confidence will probably impress her more than your new body, haircut, or wardrobe. You will also be fine tuning your flirting skills which you will need later on when you start hanging out with your friend again. The final benefit of improving your social skills immensely while you’re away from your female friend is because you’ll find it so much easier to create the confusion and jealousy that your aiming for. If you’re avoiding her phone calls and breaking plans with her, it is much more powerful if it's because you really do have better plans and more options. This will come into play in part two when I discuss finally meeting up with her again.


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31 Days to Better Game: www.tsbmag.com The final thing you need to be doing relates strongly to lesson 1 which dealt with designing your life. While I’ve stressed that during your time away from your friend you should put her out of your mind as much as possible, there is one exception to that. I swear by this, as I truly believed it is what finally allowed me to turn a friend of five years into a lover a couple years back. Every morning upon waking and every evening before you go to bed, you need to spend fifteen minutes visualizing yourself with your friend as lovers. I don’t mean visualize the ac t of sex… I want you to visualize what it will be like after your first kiss. Experience the feeling of sitting next to her having moved past the friend zone. Hold the vision in your mind and feel a ll of the feelings associated with it. This final exercise is so important because you have to train your brain to experience the new reality. I found the biggest factor that used to hold me back from making a move on my friend was that I could not imagine the outcome. The idea of lying in bed with her, or holding her hand, or just referring to her as my girlfriend was so foreign to me that it scared me senseless. As much as I wanted it, my brain resisted out of fear. I followed the entire plan outlined above, and then supplemented it with the visualizations… and I truly believe that without the visualizations I would not have been able to succeed with the plan. If you want to learn more about visualizations re-read lesson one. This is the end of today’s lesson. Part two will deal with how you will act when you finally meet up with your friend again, how you will break rapport, amplify attraction, and go for the kiss.


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Bobby Rio

31 Days to Better Game: www.tsbmag.com Day 27 How to Get Your Female Friend into Bed Written by Bobby Rio Originally Published: 07/21/2008

If you are serious and strict about following the plan I laid out in part one of turning a friend into a lover then you will have built up an ample amount of tension and anticipation. It is critical that you immediately capitalize on this built up tension. It is extremely easy to slip back into the status quo if you drop your guard. Let's talk about how to capitalize on this built up anticipation. When you finally decide to hang out with your friend again you need to invite her to an event that is on your terms. This means inviting her to a party you’re hosting or a night out with you and your friends. The goal of this first meeting is to display the “new” you in action. Once you’ve established a meeting point (bar, club, party) you need to arrive there early. Once you get to the location you need to establish yourself as the social charming guy of the e vening. Hopefully you’ll have invited some other girls you know as well. If not, you need to begin making new friends immediately. When your female friend arrives it is critical that you’re already engaged in some conversation with attractive women. If you haven’t brought girls with you, then you need to be an opening machine. I don’t care if you have to open every set in the bar… find one that sticks. When your friend finally arrives you should be talking to some girls. You are to acknowledge her, but do not immediately run to her side. Let her feel a little awkward and uncomfortable for awhile. How many times has she done that to you? I just want to add something in: Do not get too drunk. You can easily ruin everything you’ve been working for by losing control of yourself and saying or doing the wrong thing. I would maintain nothing more than a good buzz throughout the night.

During this evening you should be bouncing back and forth between your friend and the other girls in the location. For the short intervals that you spend with your friend the conversation should only consist of light and flirtatious talk. It is important that you spend this time building sexual tension through teasing her and using kino. The time that you spend with her you need to be quickly escalating the kino. Sexual escalation is more effective because it is less ambiguous: hold her hand (use an excuse of looking at her 31 Days to Better Game

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Bobby Rio

31 Days to Better Game: www.tsbmag.com rings or bracelets or nails if you need to); put your arm around her, touch her hair (likewise, use an excuse). These things are things that lovers do, and friends don’t. You’ll need to use a combination of these touches to shift out of the friend zone. You also need to be sure to break rapport. She will most likely try to suck you into talking about the same old status quo topics the two of you always discussed. You need to take control of the frame and subtly let her know that you’re calling the shots now. If she starts talking about some guy she’s dating-change the subject at the first chance you get. Or better yet, tell her you going to get a drink and go talk to another girl. Remember, your goal isn’t to offend your friend or be mean… your goal is to build attraction. If you’ve followed everything correctly you should have built up some strong attraction. As the night gets later you have to make a decision. You have to decide if you’re going to shoot for the fences with your friend, or if you’re going to end the night leaving her wanting more. This is something that you’re going to have to feel out. Personally, I’ve found it is almost always most effective to swing for the fences the first night. Her emotions are going to be peaked by mid way through the night. She will be feeling attraction towards you. Now it 's just a matter of letting her know it's alright to embrace this attraction. This should go without saying... but I’ll say it anyway… never verbally acknowledge any of this. Everything should be happening without mention of the paradigm shift. If you’re going to go for it all you need to be rapidly escalating kino. Some girls may not be game for making out in the club… in this case you need to find away to get her alone. Once you’re alone with her you have to be sure to keep the sexual tension alive. If she starts talking about something that is not cooperating with the mood… break rapport again. Later in the night, as the tension is mounting, the best way to break rapport is with physical contact. This means tease her with a gentle push, or grab her hand to look at her ring, or touch her ear to comment on her earring. It won’t be enough to just tease her and escalate kino. You need to act in a seductive manner. You have to encourage her to have sexual thoughts about you. You need to prompt these thoughts by: • • • •

You need to hold strong eye contact. You should slow down your speech and deepen your voice. You should look at her like you want her. Look at her lips and leave pauses where you just look at each other.

If she’s comfortable with that or looks at you in a seductive fashion it's on. Go in for the kiss.


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31 Days to Better Game: www.tsbmag.com If you find she is being completely unreceptive to your advances… then let the evening die down with you in control. If you sense you need to build more attraction, then close out the evening talking to other girls and part ways with your friend. If you’ve decided to hold off to another night to go for the kiss… I suggest making a deal with yourself. Give it one more chance. The next time you hang out with her it can be alone. But if possible, arrange for some friends to send periodic text messages to peak her interest. Simply look at the texts... smile... then put your phone back in your pocket. This evening you must treat the same way as the previous evening. You need to break rapport, initiate kino, flirt, tease, and build attraction. If you find at the end of this second night that she still isn’t receptive to being kissed… move on.


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Bobby Rio

31 Days to Better Game: www.tsbmag.com Day 28 Managing a Relationship Written by M. Chase Originally Published: 07/22/2008

I’m guessing since I’m getting married in September (let’s see how that goes) is why I wa s asked to write about managing a relationship for the 31 days series. Apologies in advance for the long post, but the stuff below is golden. If you are interested in a relationship, be it monogamous, MLTR, or just a fuck buddy hopefully you can pick something up from this. I am not a guru; these are just guidelines I’ve been taught and implemented that have worked wonders. I’m not re-inventing the wheel here, these are not my ideas. To give credit so I don’t step on any toes or get a lawsuit thrown at me, most of these are Sebastian Drake’s concepts. Here we go… Let’s be blunt here…when women get complacent in a relationship they tend to treat their guy like shit. If you think I’m joking head to the mall on a Saturday afternoon, buy a drink, then sit down and watch couples interact. It’s a mind-blowing experience to watch how some guys get treated in public…and they put up with it. Here’s a true story. One of my good friends got married a while back. Honeymoon was great, everything was normal. Then she quit her job and took over the finances. He was GIVEN a $20 allowance per week with the money he earned. The marriage lasted six months until he finally flipped. Guys, while sad this can be prevented. The Vase Concept

This is the best analogy I’ve heard…relationships are like a vase…clay and water getting molded together on a wheel. You only have a set amount of time, maybe two months to make things how you want them to be. Once the vase gets thrown into the oven and hardened, there it is and good luck changing it. We’re all creatures of habit. If you decide one day you’re going to break the mold with a girl you’ve been seeing the vase cracks…yeah, good luck with that. It’s not that it can’t be fixed, it just takes a hell of a lot of time to do it (and this goes double for friends or ex-girlfriends who already know you). Should put a little perspective on the divorce rate in this country. Precedence is absolutely key. We all get caught up in the moment when we’re with a new girl we like. Something in our heads wants to make her happy and seek approval. If she asks you to do something, and this can be anything you seriously don’t want to do (going to plays, singing karaoke, fancy dinners, doing the laundry…whatever). DO NOT do it from day one. 31 Days to Better Game

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Bobby Rio

31 Days to Better Game: www.tsbmag.com Never. If this will piss you off a couple of months from now don’t start the cycle. The moment you get fed up the precedent has been broken and the vase cracks. Again, good luck with that. Don’t get the wrong impression that you should never compromise. You simply have to. The real question is what you’re willing to compromise on. Ashlyn just moved into my place and did some redecorating. Can’t say I’m exactly thrilled with the changes (I’m now a plant owner) but it’s something I can live with, even if I have to water the damn things. Set Expectations

Guys, people act like they are expected to. Frankly, I’m surprised this isn’t addressed more in the community. Everyone acts differently around different people. Let me ask a question. Would you drop an f-bomb in front of your grandmother? I know I wouldn’t have. This is just psych 101. Do you act the same way around your best friend that you would around your boss? Now what you should ask yourself is why? The same thing goes for relationships. You can’t exactly change someone’s personality, but you can nudge them in certain directions. Getting someone to admit to something you want wins the battle…if they renege on it later you can bust them on it. People tend to live up to what they’ve admitted to. This is very powerful in the seduction phase. For example, if I’m into a woman and looking for a MLTR, I’ll drop something like “look at all the women in this place that need a man to hold their hand…please tell me you’re not like that.” You can use a variation of this for any trait you’re looking for. This is also very good for compliance. If she’s into you she’ll agree with pretty much anything you say unless it’s way out of her personality. If she disagrees on a trait you’re looking for it’s up to you if you want to pursue it. Draw the Battle-Lines

Probably the best advice I’ve ever gotten. Gentleman, draw the battle-lines. This was so far out of my reality I thought it was a joke…it wasn’t. When women get pissed they will push you to see what they can get away with. We all do it. In the seduction context make a list of what will make you happy in a relationship. A loyal girl, bj every day, sex 4 times a week…etc. Whatever you really want. Now push it forward. If you set your expectations farther than what you really need you’ll always be in the clear when problems come up that have to be worked out. I’m trying to remember how this went, something along the lines of “can we just have sex tonight instead of you doing me anal on the balcony”…fucking hilarious. If anything I hope you guys got something out of this. 31 Days to Better Game

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Bobby Rio

31 Days to Better Game: www.tsbmag.com M. Chase II


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Bobby Rio

31 Days to Better Game: www.tsbmag.com Day 29 Tips for Getting Better in Bed Written by Bobby Rio Originally Published: 07/21/2008

If you want to have the ability to call a girl up every night of the week for a late night booty call; you need to be good in bed. It doesn’t matter how great of a pick-up artist you are; if you don’t perform in the bedroom you will never be able to create a life of unlimited options. Sexual options with women stems from building up a network of women who love having sex with you. Women who still want to sleep with you even after they realize that you’re not boyfriend material. That is true sexual power. In this lesson I want to give you guys some tips for improving this area of your life. I recently wrote a post about becoming a better lover where I discussed the art of reading the signs that a woman is giving you and continuing to push her in that direction. Above all this is the number one trait of a good lover. You need to be able to recognize what a woman is enjoying. You need to tailor everything to the girl you’re having sex with at this particular moment. You need to make her feel like you know her inside and out. Even if she knows you’re a player, she has to feel an intense sexual connection with you. This starts with the kiss. If she is a slow passionate kisser, slow your style down so your tongues mesh together. If she’s an aggressive and dominant kisser… sit back and follow her lead. She’ll walk away thinking you were the best kisser in the world... simply because you mirrored her style. You’ll need to increase your stamina. If you want a mind blowing sexual session it has to last more than ten minutes. If you know you’ve got a habit of finishing quickly than make sure you extend the foreplay. Use your hands and mouth to create intense sexual tension. Explore every area of her body until she is practically begging for it. Most girls really enjoy receiving oral sex… learn to read the signs she is giving you and get her pussy gushing from the oral. But even after some powerful foreplay you need to follow up an even more powerful lay. Increase your stamina and last longer by focusing on pleasing her rather than how good you feel, using breathing patterns, use positions that you’re less likely to finish with, and by practicing. You also want to build up your energy level as well as increasing your testosterone level which will only fuel your fire in the bedroom. Everything listed above are the fundamentals needed to become a better lover. Below I’ve listed some general tips to improve the overall experience. 31 Days to Better Game

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Bobby Rio

31 Days to Better Game: www.tsbmag.com More tips to be a better lover

1. Shave. Having stubble on your face can irritate her and make things like kissing and oral sex a lot less pleasurable for her. 2. Groom Yourself . The more you take care of your body the more likely she’ll be inclined to want to give you oral sex. 3. Smell Good. Wearing nice smelling cologne can intensify the sexual desire she feels f eels for you. Just a small spray is best… or go for that just out of the shower smell. 4. Give a good massage. Having a little knowledge of some sexually erotic zones of a woman’s body will go a long way. Watch Watc h a video on giving an erotic hand massage or a video on giving a foot massage. 5. Aim for the G-spot. Don’t obsess about the g-spot. But having an idea of where it is and how to hit it will increase your likely li kely hood of making her cum. If you’re clueless about the G-spot read an article about how to find the g-spot


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Bobby Rio

31 Days to Better Game: www.tsbmag.com Day 30 Ending a Fling or Relationship Written by Bobby Rio Originally Published: 07/23/2008

There comes a time in every player’s pla yer’s life where he is forced to end relations with a female femal e he no longer enjoys spending spending time with. The irony of this this is that you will will probably find it is more difficult to end it with a girl than it was to get her. It is never easy to end things with a girl… and every situation will be different. But there is one constant rule that does not change. The longer you wait to end it; the harder it will be.

Now that you’re out meeting and dating a variety of girls you’ll quickly find that you won’t be on the same page as most of them. This is because while you may view her as “practice” or “fun for the moment” or “somewhere to dump your load” she may ma y have completely other thoughts running through her mind in regards to what the two of you have together. Eventually you are bound to hear one of these 3 evil questions: 1. Where do we stand? 2. What is this? 3. Where is this going?

If you’ve been dating a girl that you have no intention of making your girlfriend… than you need to change the way you view these 3 questions. I used to hate when a girl asked me one of these these questions. I used to fear it, and pray that things will roll along at the status quo. I hated the way I had to lie or change topics or be extremely vague with my answer. And what I hated more, was when months months later, when I finally had the balls to end it, the girl would throw it in my face how I should have just been honest with her back when she asked “where this was going.” Well, now I’ve learned to love when a girl asks me one those questions… because I’ve learned to just be honest with her.


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Bobby Rio

31 Days to Better Game: www.tsbmag.com When a girl doesn’t ask “what is this” and lets thing go along a long like everything is fine… that is when it is exceptionally hard to end it. In that case she doesn’t give you you an out, and you have to be the one to address the situation. This is a lot harder than it seems. I wrote a post awhile back called Why You Shouldn’t String Girls Along where I talked about the negative effect stringing a girl along has on your personality. The longer you date a girl you have no real feelings for the more resentment will will grow inside of you. That resentment is unhealthy for your soul. This is why you should use the opportunity most girls will present you with and come clean and be honest with them. If a girl asks you “where this is headed” and you you don’t see it turning into into a long term relationship, tell her. Tell her why. She will respect you for your honesty. honesty. Many guys will continue dating a girl they have no feelings f eelings for simply because they are scared to be single or unable to give up the the steady sex. This is not the mentality that a true player player should have. There is an abundance of women women available. The minute you you free yourself yourself up from one girl, you’ll be amazed at how quickly more will flow into your life. In yesterday’s lesson I talked about how if you’re really good in the bedroom you can usually keep sleeping with girls long after they’ve realized that you’re not going to be their boyfriend. But this needs to be established established as soon as possible. If you lead a girl on for six months and then tell her that you don’t have feelings for her other than sexual... it will be a lot harder to make the transition. If you let her know this after a few weeks than it is more likely she will keep you on the side as a booty call. The secret to ending a relationship is honesty. The more you try to sugar coat a break break up the less likely she will feel the break up is for real. If she doesn’t feel it's for real than she she will be filled with hope that you will get back together. You need to crush that hope. hope. I know that sounds mean. But it is a lot meaner to let a girl waste two years hoping that that you’ll finally see the light and be what she wanted. She can’t have those those two years back. As hard as it may seem to tell a girl you don’t love her or don’t want a relationship with her, this will actually allow her to move on and get over you. Ultimately it is all about living with integrity. The right decision may not always be the easiest. But you’ll find that if you continually are honest with yourself and others your life will be a lot less complicated. You will also find that you feel better about yourself, yourself, and your sense of self worth will increase.


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Bobby Rio

31 Days to Better Game: www.tsbmag.com Day 31 Run a SWOT Analysis on Your Self Written by Bobby Rio Originally Published: 07/25/2008

Today is the last day in the 31 Days to Better Game series and as a result I want to make your last task a little reflective and forward looking. Your task today is to run a SWOT Analysis on yourself. A SWOT analysis is a strategic tool that has been used for many years in business (and many other fields) to look at the Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities and Threats that that business might have or be facing. Much has been written about SWOT analysis and how to carry it out (I’ll let you do some searches on Google for it if you’re not familiar with it) however let me write a brief description of how to apply it to yourself. 1. Define Your Mission and Goals Before you carry out your SWOT it’s important that you know what your goals are (otherwise the exercise is a little pointless as you’ve got nothing to review yourself based upon). As a result you’ll want to have done Day 1’s task - Designing Your LIfe. 2. List Your Strengths What attributes do you have that will help you to achieve your goals? What do you have going for you? What are your strong points with approaching, dating, relationships? What resources and assets do you have at your disposal? What do you do better than anyone else? 3. List Your Weaknesses What attributes do you have that are holding you back from achieving your goals? What skills do you not have as a successful player, pua, or alpha male? What is ‘broken’ on your game? What could or should you improve about yourself? What should you probably avoid in your gaming? What is distracting you from your goals? 4. List Your Opportunities


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31 Days to Better Game: www.tsbmag.com Where is opportunity presenting itself? Is there a local club/group that you can join? Is there a girl just dying for you to make your move? Did an old fling show up back in your life? Did a new girl move in the apartment across the hall? A part time job you should get to meet new people? 5. List Your Threats What external things could or are hindering you achieving your goals? Are you working too much and therefore coming home too tired to game? Do you not have enough money to go out to bars or clubs very often? Note - Think of Strengths and Weaknesses as internal factors while Opportunities and Threats are external factors. 6. Analyze Your Reflections and Generate Strategies Take some time out to work out what you can do with your findings. How can you utilize your Strengths? How can you bring your Weaknesses to an end? How can you make the most of your Opportunities? How can you fend off the Threats? An old Marketing lecturer used to say - ‘doing the analysis of Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities and Threats is only half the job. Working out how to turn Weaknesses into Strengths and Threats into Opportunities is the key part of a SWOT analyses. 7. Plan to Do Something and Do It Translate your findings into an Action Plan and begin to implement it. Doing a SWOT analysis is something that I do periodically on myself, this website and on my overarching business also. Have you ever done one on yourself?


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Bobby Rio

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