The 'Underground' Approaching Secrets
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Published by Simon Heong All Rights Reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced without written permission from the publisher except for brief passages which may be used by a reviewer. Copying by any means including electronic methods, selling or hiring, transmission by voice, electronic mail, posting to a website or uploading to an FTP site or CD duplication is strictly forbidden. Legal action will be taken against offenders. If perjury is discovered the offenders will be prosecuted to the full extent of the law.
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To the fullest extent permitted by applicable laws, in no event shall the “The Underground Approaching Secrets” in association with Simon Heong, and ApproachingWomenTips.com, agents or suppliers be liable for damages of any kind or character, including without limitation any compensatory, incidental, direct, indirect, special, punitive, or consequential damages, loss of use, loss of data, loss of income or profit, loss of or damage to property, claims of third parties, arising out of or in connection with the use of the “The Underground Attraction Techniques” or any web site which it is linked.
P.S - If you’d like to send me a success story, comment or any questions, just write to:
[email protected]
Copyright © 2007 Simon Heong
http://ApproachingWomenTips.Com
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Table Of Content Structure ........................................................................................................................3 Methodology..................................................................................................................4 Methodology..................................................................................................................4 Approaching Greatness… The Essential Skill Essential Skill ............................................................6 Reality Check – Out In The Field… ..............................................................................8 Approach Anxiety: Breaking Through .........................................................................9 What Is The Perfect Pick-up Line? .............................................................................10 Approaching Women In Bars & Clubs .......................................................................13 Adopt A Friendly, Sociable Persona Sociable Persona ..........................................................................15 Approaching Individuals.............................................................................................16 Individuals .............................................................................................16 Opening Guy-Girl Sets ................................................................................................17 Using A Wingman........................................................................................................18 Wingman........................................................................................................18 Opening Girl-Girl Sets.................................................................................................24 Sets .................................................................................................24 Approaching Women In Cafes/Seated Settings ........................................................27 Approaching Women In Bookstores ..........................................................................32 Approaching Women At Grocery Stores ...................................................................33 Approaching Women in Bus/Train Stations ..............................................................36 Approaching Women Fitness/Health Centers ...........................................................38 Approaching Women In Female HTOs (High Traffic Outlets) ...................................41 Approaching Women In Parks....................................................................................42 Parks ....................................................................................42 Approaching Women In Wedding Dinner Receptions ..............................................44 Approaching Women In Closed Settings – House Parties .......................................45 To Sum It All Up… .......................................................................................................46
Copyright © 2007 Simon Heong
http://ApproachingWomenTips.Com
The 'Underground' Approaching Secrets
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Table Of Content Structure ........................................................................................................................3 Methodology..................................................................................................................4 Methodology..................................................................................................................4 Approaching Greatness… The Essential Skill Essential Skill ............................................................6 Reality Check – Out In The Field… ..............................................................................8 Approach Anxiety: Breaking Through .........................................................................9 What Is The Perfect Pick-up Line? .............................................................................10 Approaching Women In Bars & Clubs .......................................................................13 Adopt A Friendly, Sociable Persona Sociable Persona ..........................................................................15 Approaching Individuals.............................................................................................16 Individuals .............................................................................................16 Opening Guy-Girl Sets ................................................................................................17 Using A Wingman........................................................................................................18 Wingman........................................................................................................18 Opening Girl-Girl Sets.................................................................................................24 Sets .................................................................................................24 Approaching Women In Cafes/Seated Settings ........................................................27 Approaching Women In Bookstores ..........................................................................32 Approaching Women At Grocery Stores ...................................................................33 Approaching Women in Bus/Train Stations ..............................................................36 Approaching Women Fitness/Health Centers ...........................................................38 Approaching Women In Female HTOs (High Traffic Outlets) ...................................41 Approaching Women In Parks....................................................................................42 Parks ....................................................................................42 Approaching Women In Wedding Dinner Receptions ..............................................44 Approaching Women In Closed Settings – House Parties .......................................45 To Sum It All Up… .......................................................................................................46
Copyright © 2007 Simon Heong
http://ApproachingWomenTips.Com
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Structure I for one like to keep things simple with the sole reason of making it easy for you to remember. The approach structure consists of 3 main sections:
BEGINING
MIDDLE
END
BEGINNING: The stage where you ‘open’ her up. This is where you’ll have to catch her attention by projecting a sociable, fun, laid back and relaxed positive vibe both verbally and nonverbally when you first approach her. And how do you do this? Simple. You start chatting up with people around you; it can be anyone; be it the waitress, bartender, or anyone surrounding you. You do this to show her that you are NATURALLY a social, friendly person. And when you do finally go over and talk to her with your various choices of openers, it won’t seem as if you’re trying to pick her up. You’re just being yourself; which is of course a friendly, fun and confident guy. MIDDLE: The stage after you begin talking to her; this is where it’s most important. Your focus here is to use sprinkle bits and pieces of ball-busting, kino connection, role reversals, etc and all the other bits of techniques which you have learned here to get her feeling comfortable talking to you, building rapport and connection with her and amping up her feelings of attraction for you. CLOSE: This is where you’ll close it off by either getting her phone number, email address or probably bringing her back to your place.
Copyright © 2007 Simon Heong
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Methodology There are typically 2 types of approach:
Direct approach Indirect approach
A direct approach is where you express your interest (sexual or otherwise) known to your target upfront. An example would be where you just walk up to the girl and go… •
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“Hey, I think you seem like an interesting person, and I’d like to get to know you better. I’m Simon and you are…” “Hi my name’s Simon… nice to meet you… and you are…”
An indirect approach is where you approach and talk to a girl and make it look as if agenda, carefully disguising your interest you’re casually talking to her with no hidden agenda, in her. As to which approach works best, it’s a pretty subjective matter, but all I can say is for you to TEST both methods out and see which ones suit your character/style best. It’s up to you to choose the one you’re most CONFORTABLE with. As you can see, I personally prefer using indirect approaches simply because by going through this route, more often than not, you’re not making it seem as if you’re trying to pick up the girl at all, hence her defenses might not be held up too high to shield herself. I love this form of approach mainly because it gives the guy a free hand to working his ‘magic’ to spark attraction in her without her realizing it… until it’s too late for her to do anything. Whereas for direct approaches, since you’ve already made your intentions clear upfront, you’re already giving her up the upper hand and power to either say a “yes” or “yes” or a “no” to “no” to any of your advances. I’ve found that this method works best for those super “alpha” type of guys. And yes, I actually have seen several friends of mine who have achieved massive success going this route. They’ll just see a girl they like, walk right up to her, tell her how hot she looks and confidently starts touching them straight away, hugging her, playing with her hair, throwing her around, etc and I could immediately see how the girl seemed to LOVE every second of it! Bear in mind however, these guys are what I call super “alpha” blokes – guys who goes against all social norms as to what’s socially acceptable and what’s not and doing exactly what they want to do with NO hesitation and COMPLETE CERTAINTY CERTAINTY what they’re doing WILL work. But of course, they have already ASSUMED themselves as guys with high social status & power, and their body language, style, tonality and facial expressions are all CONGRUENT with that.
Copyright © 2007 Simon Heong
http://ApproachingWomenTips.Com
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Again, there’s never a straight right or wrong way when it comes to approaching women, just as long as you’re comfortable using them and especially if you feel they’re working for you and your results show itself, just keep on using them.
Copyright © 2007 Simon Heong
http://ApproachingWomenTips.Com
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Approaching Greatness… The Essential Skill He who dares wins . Look around and you’ll see how most risk-takers tend to come out further ahead in life. The same applies if you want to be great at picking up women. Confidence & energy is key. You can be ugly, short, fat (whatever) , but if you know what you want WHEN you want it, and you can SHOW it to women around you, believe me, approaching women and closing them will become second nature to you. Guys often refrain and hold back, instead they usually act all gentlemanly, submissive and ‘nice’; they become the yes man with women thinking that such actions can score them more points with women when unbeknownst to them, that can be further off from the truth! Submissive men, those who buy women gifts, flowers, take them out to expensive dinners to impress women… sigh… what can I say? Honestly when you think about it… what good does that do anyway? Don’t you think almost EVERY guy does the SAME thing nowadays? So ask yourself, what can you actually achieve by doing the same exact thing? If you were to do the exact SAME thing, how different will that make you? How are you supposed to STAND OUT then? Think about it, guys who buy gifts and stuff for women in a way are just trying to ‘buy’ their affections and ‘buy’ in to the woman’s heart and again… feelings of attraction are not ‘sparked’ this way. On the other hand, women just LOVE guys who are not afraid to show who they really are inside… guys who are at ease with themselves and are not afraid to show their real character with people around them … now that’s exciting! When a guy does this, it’s like having a big, fat, bold sticker that shouts “C-O-N-F-I-D-EN-C-E” on their forehead. So… just chill and let loose. If you like Chicago, if you like N’Sync… just admit it! For example… just because she’s into Hip-Hop doesn’t mean YOU have to love it too… This is what goes on during a normal conversation with women: Her: I’m like sooo into the Hip-Hop scene right now… You: Yeah, yeah me too! But inside he’ll be thinking… (Oh shit, I know NUTS about it… OMG! What can I talk about Hip-hop now?) This is normally the route submissive guys will take thinking that by agreeing with women, it’ll score them points. Copyright © 2007 Simon Heong
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‘Alpha’ type of guys (those who just don’t give a shit) types will just go… Her: I’m like sooo into the Hip-Hop scene right now… Him: OMG! You freak! UUUgghh… Hip-hop gives me goosebumps! I mean… of all the music in the world… you had to choose the most excruciating one! I mean… how could you actually listen to…. that? So when are you going to go… heeeeyyy… hoooooo…. Her: (Beats you) Hey stop it! It’s not that bad you know… It’s real cool music… Him: Heeeyy… hoooo… (Take hands and poke her) Her: (Laughs) I’m not talking to you. Him: (Poke her again) Heeeeyyy… hoooo.. Her: Aaaargghh.. you’re crazy… (smilling to herself) If you love collecting stamps, if you love fishing, don’t be afraid to admit it! Not HIDE it! And no, admitting them does not make you a dull, boring person. So, tell them, give them real SOLID stories of why and what made you take up those hobbies and why you’re absolutely PASSIONATE about them! If you’re a joker by nature, SHOW it to the women around you. If you have a creative, artistic mind, flaunt it around. The easiest way to explain this is this… Whatever you feel like doing… JUST DO IT! If you want to bust on them, if you want to make fun of them just the same like how you do to your bratty lil’ sister, if you’ll just hang lose and play with them… GO for it and don’t ever second guess yourself! If she suddenly talks about how she came across a picture of Britney without her underwear, then go “Sicko!” Give her that disgusted stare then quickly withdraw yourself and distant yourself away from her, give her that ‘look’ again… and smile (you’ll get a nice whack for this ). If she asks you, guess what my occupation is? (If she’s a hot 9 plus model-looking smokin’ hot chick), just say “Dog walker! … hands down! ”… (shield again... ) The easiest way to get this mindset drilled in your head is this, like I always say… just take whatever advice your grandpa, grandma have taught you about how to date, treat and court a woman and do the exact OPPOSITE! Guys often asks us… How does one develop confidence? Well, it’s a HUGE topic by itself but fortunately for you, we have painstakingly compiled an excellent resource for you that comes along as a bonus within this entire Program, so you better soak up all you can ok?
Copyright © 2007 Simon Heong
http://ApproachingWomenTips.Com
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Reality Check – Out In The Field… In the real world, you only have ONE chance to approach and talk to a girl you like. Just one. You rarely get a 2 nd chance to do it, so once you missed it, it’ll be gone… and she’ll be gone… forever. Harsh words. But in out in the field… it’s something that happens ALL THE TIME whether you like it or not. And in the real world, first impressions matters… A LOT! You see, beautiful women need to weed out the losers from the winners to save time. So you only have 1 solid chance to approach them and do it right. Here’s a common scenario: You spot a woman. You make eye contact. She knows you’re looking. She knows you’re interested. She throws you hints she’s open and interested to be approached. You gather up your nerves, you walk towards her. As you’re approaching her, you suddenly look away, pretending you’re heading somewhere else. In her eyes, that’s when your social value drops 10 feet. You let her down. She’s disappointed. You panicked and you’ve lost it. Your nerves got the better of you. And that’s the END of it. This WILL happen to you when you’re first starting out so don’t feel bad if it has happened to you too. You’re just being overwhelmed and bogged down by the sheer anxiety of approaching. I’d also like to add how women like to make a quick decision on whether they are interested in continuing the conversation with you within that crucial 1-2 minutes of conversation you have with them. Be fully aware of that and that’s exactly how much time you have to ‘get it right’ with her. If they can feel the vibe is ‘right’ with you, they’ll stick longer. If not, they’ll quickly move on to the next guy.
Copyright © 2007 Simon Heong
http://ApproachingWomenTips.Com
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Approach Anxiety: Breaking Through The 3-second rule applies when it comes to overcoming any of your approach anxieties. But trust me, you won’t truly appreciate this rule until you’ve actually TRIED it out whenever you’re out approaching, that’s a GUARANTEED surefire bet! Just in case you’re not sure what it is, the 3-second rule states that the moment you spot your target, you’ve got to make your move, walk and start talking to her within 3 seconds. Anything longer than that, you’ll MOST DEFINITELY talk yourself out of approaching her. This is where wimpy, negative thoughts like: What if other people around see me get blown off? What if I walk up to her and I have nothing interesting to say? What if she already has a boyfriend?” … will come into play and screw with your mind to give yourself excuses NOT to approach. You don’t want that. Seriously, the fastest, most effective way to overcome all your anxieties is to JUST DO IT! Stop thinking, stop analyzing the situation, just walk right up to her and start something… ANYTHING! This is by far the EASIEST, yet the most EFFECTIVE technique to overcome it. No fancy inner game confidence boosting prep talks needed but just for you do to ahead and DO it! What counts is your confident manner, NOT what you say. You’ll find that once you’ve started talking to her, your confidence will eventually grow, you’ll be way relaxed than before you make the approach and somehow or the other, your brain will conjure up things to talk to her about (it’s plain basic human reflexes). What’s most important is for you to make the initial contact and that’s it! You’ll automatically know what to say next. That’s why I keep stressing you’ve got to get yourself comfortable with talking and socializing with strangers; be it with both guys or girls and once you’ve mastered the art of socializing, it’ll just come along naturally to you. So stop thinking you’ve got to bag this chick. Stop thinking you’ve got to pick her up. Stop EXPECTING anything when you’re approaching women and let your natural game run its course. So again, you don’t have to come up with unique, out of this world pick up line to impress her. Stop thinking of wanting to “get laid” with women and you’ll instantly knock any pressure whatsoever just before you make the approach. Copyright © 2007 Simon Heong
http://ApproachingWomenTips.Com
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So What Is The Perfect Pick-up Line? Well, first off, I’d just like to point out there’s just been waaay, waaay too much emphasis on coming up with a ‘killer’ opening or a pick-up line. One of the most coming questions we get on a daily basis is “Hey Simon, David, I saw this smokin’ hot chick the other day and I just couldn’t figure out what to say to her? What should I say? How am I supposed to say it? Can you give me some killer funny opening lines that will get her to laugh, something which is purely original that no other guy uses?” And this is where most guys get it wrong! You see, it’s not the first line that matters. It’s actually in the 2 nd and subsequent lines you use that matters the most! You see the first ‘line’ is usually forgotten by women since you’ve just caught them by surprise as you start talking to them. What is more important is how you FOLLOW THROUGH after the opener to continue the conversation. The key here is to quickly move on from the opener and focus more in the conversation with her cos when you do that, it won’t seem as if you’re using a pick up line but instead, it’ll look like you’re a social type of guy who just casually started talking to her. Remember this: The opening line is supposed to be more of a casual greeting, remark or even an everyday, ordinary statement . You’re supposed to use it to hook them in, to catch their attention so to speak. And it can literally be ANYTHING. Say you’ve just came across a girl waiting for cab standing right next to you. Just say, “Hey, today’s pretty warm huh?” She’ll be surprised at first but most probably she’ll say something like “Yeah… tell me about it”. And you can respond by following up with “waiting for friend?” And she’ll go “yeah, my friend is supposed to be here anytime now”… and that’s when you focus more on FOLLOWING THROUGH the flow of the conversation. There’s so many options for you to follow through from there… for example you respond with “Uh-huh… hey that top you’re having there looks nice, where’d you get it?” And she’ll go bla, bla, bla… And you can go “I didn’t get your name yet, I’m Simon…” You could literally follow through your opener with anything! You could say something like “Uh-huh. Geez I’m starving right now. Know any place I could get some good food around here?” And she’ll go “Well, it depends on what you’re planning to get… you’re up for pizzas? Burgers? Bla, blab la… And you later on as you’re talking to her you can go “Hey I still didn’t get your name yet by the way I’m Simon…”
Copyright © 2007 Simon Heong
http://ApproachingWomenTips.Com
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See how it works? Does the opening or pick up line matter that much? Did it even look like you’re trying to pick her up? I didn’t think so too. It’s vitally very important for you to smile and be a naturally SOCIAL, friendly type of person. Be curious about people, and always be looking for ways to talk and meet new people and approaching will eventually be 2 nd nature to you. And if you’re still wondering about how you can come up with “off the wall” topics you can talk about? Well, just use you’re surroundings; whatever that’s around you as topics of conversation with women. If it’s a cold day, just start it off by saying “Hey, cold day isn’t”… or if you noticed her with a bag, say something like “Hey nice bag you have there, where’d you get it?”… Like the other day, I stopped by for a quick drink at the local coffee place where I was supposed to meet up with an old friend. As soon as I sat down, I noticed a group of 5 sitting down chilling out. There was this one particular girl who’s pretty hot lookin’ that caught my eye. Now, in a situation like this… what do you think I should do? Same thing. I looked out for things to comment on. I noticed how one of her friends had like this unique, zen-like tattoo on her hands with nothing on them but words. It looked sorta like a verse from the bible or something I couldn’t really tell from that distance. So I just acted curious and blurted out to the guys “Hey guys, sorry for interrupting, but I couldn’t help but notice the tattoo on your friend’s arm… (now looking at her)… where’d you get that? Never seen anything like it before…” And immediately I saw her face lit up, I could tell she was glad that a stranger noticed and she’d go… “You noticed? But yeah cool isn’t it? My cousin recommended me to this guy who’s supposedly like THE man everyone goes to to get tattoo-ed…” Again, there are easily tens or even HUNDREDS of things that you can literally pick up from your surroundings to strike up conversations with people around you at anytime… you;ve just got to be observant. What’s normally stopping guys from doing it is essentially their own limiting beliefs of what’s possible and what’s not possible as their interacting with women. So remember: Commit to yourself from this day onwards on being a SOCIAL person. Don’t be afraid to talk to strangers. Do this often enough and make it a habit. And that’s exactly how most naturals get good at this stuff.
Copyright © 2007 Simon Heong
http://ApproachingWomenTips.Com
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See, if you look closer, most naturals are just average, everyday blokes who come off as real friendly, fun sort of guys… and surprise surprise! That’s exactly the type of guys most women want to be with.
Copyright © 2007 Simon Heong
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Approaching Women In Bars & Clubs Bars and clubs are definitely my all-time favorite hangout to approach women. Why? Well, people in general go there to chill out and have themselves a good time. It’s a social setting and women are usually more open to being approached there. But admittedly, things can get pretty messy if one does not do it right, so here are a couple of ground rules to follow… Rule No.1: You like hot women and you’re tempted to go talk to them. But bear in mind however, there will also be OTHER guys who are doing the same. One thing you have to remember is NEVER to interrupt or to barge in halfway during a conversation when you see a guy talking to a woman. You’ll look bad doing so and women won’t like that. Imagine talking to a woman you’re interested in and suddenly there’s this other guy barging in and interrupting your conversation with her, won’t you feel annoyed when that happens? Let your target make up her own mind whether she likes talking to the guy and she will eventually end the conversation with him if she’s not interested. So be patient and let nature runs its course before you enter and open up the set. Rule No.2: It is best not to try opening a girl when she’s walking or “on the move”. You see, some guys might think that this is the best opportunity because she’s alone and is not distracted by anyone else. Not really. See, there’s definitely a specific reason why she’s “moving”. She might be going out to make an important call, she might probably be rushing to go to the washroom, she might be looking for a friend, looking for her boyfriend, etc… there can be thousands of reasons for it. And when she’s focused on something else, whatever you say will not register with her. What you should do is then to keep an eye on her… or you could also follow her closely to see what or where’s she going next. When she’s done with whatever she’s supposed to do, that should be the best time for you to initiate conversation. Rule No.3:
Copyright © 2007 Simon Heong
http://ApproachingWomenTips.Com
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There will be times where you’ll be interrupted by other guys who are also eye-ing your target. When that happens, never talk bad about them, insult them or brush them aside. When you do that, it just shows how INSECURE and petty you may be at times. Just take it in your stride and let them in. You couldn’t care less, remember? If a guy suddenly walks up to her, and say… Him: “Hi there are you a sexy one…” You: “Hey, thanks!” Her: **laughs** Or… Him: “Hi there beautiful…” You: “Come on you… not in front of HER…” Her: **laughs**
Copyright © 2007 Simon Heong
http://ApproachingWomenTips.Com
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Adopt A Friendly, Sociable Persona When you make your approaches in this setting, there are SO MANY ways which you can do it! Say you’ve just entered a club. Loosen up, always be ready to flash a friendly smile at whoever that comes your way and again… adopt a SOCIABLE personality. Remember, clubs are places you go to have fun! Not act all alpha and cocky trying to look cool to women; that’ll get you nowhere! Now, say you saw group consisting of just girls sitting around a table all having a good time. Just walk straight up, flash your biggest smile and go… You: “Hey guys, you guys are having so much fun over here, who’s birthday is it? Naa... hold on a minute… wait… don’t tell me… don’t tell me.. I’m guessing it’s… you! ” Them: (Surprised) “How’d you guess?” You: “The birthday girl always talks the most!” Her: “Well, I hate to rain on your parade but… today’s just a reunion between us girls” You: “Great! What should we talk about?” Them: (Laughs) Or if you see your target sitting next to you, you can just open up by going… You: “Hey what’s that you’re drinking… looks pretty neat…” Her: Bla, bla, bla… You: “Ok, you’ve sold me. I’m having one of those. You must be doing top sales here…” Her: “I don’t work here” You: “Hehe… Just messing with cha… I’m Simon by the way… and you are…” Her: “Janice” You: “Nice to meet you Janice, so who are you with?” Her: Bla, bla, bla Remember the key is to present yourself as a social, friendly type of guy who’s just there to meet people and have fun! That’s it! Still, your actions MUST be congruent with the image you’re projecting to them… do it with confidence, strong eye contact, firm handshake and do it in a relaxed, comfortable manner and you can never go wrong with this approach!
Copyright © 2007 Simon Heong
http://ApproachingWomenTips.Com
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Approaching Individuals Now often times, when you’re in clubs you’re sure to come across girls (normally there should be a minimum of two girls together there) who are having a decent conversation but their eyes occasionally wonder around. These girls are usually the types who are more open to being approached by guys. If you saw a particular girl you’d like to meet, and if she happens to look your way, keep your eyes locked onto her (but don’t stare!), and give her a warm pleasant smile. Don’t look away and MAKE SURE she sees you smiling at her. Once you’ve got her attention, get up and immediately walk towards her; don’t hesitate (remember the 3-second rule), keep smiling and as you’re in front of her, go… You: (Changes expression to look serious) “I’m feeling a little bit uncomfortable with you STARING at me like that…” Her: (Shocked) You: **smile** “You should’ve seen yourself in the mirror. That’s soo funny lol. Just messing with cha’… so what’s your name?” Her: **relieved** bla, bla, bla… Or… You: “Hey, Daphne, how’s it going?” Her: “I’m sorry, I’m not Daphne” You: “Come on… it’s me…” Her: “I don’t think I’ve met you before…” You: “Quit playing it’s me… Jordan… we made out in the elevator last week, remember?!! Jordan the ‘I’m sooo messing with you right now’ can’t you even tell?” (Smile) Her: (Laughs) Or… You: “Is this how you normally seduce people in clubs?” Her: (Shocked) You: “Frankly, I’m feeling a bit violated by how you were checking me out a while ago… I could sue you… you DO know that, right?” Her: (Laughs) The underlying rule to your approaches is to not take yourself too seriously. Be willing to go all out and do outrageous stuff… take risks! And more importantly, make it fun, in an unpredictable way! There’s soo many ways to do it! You just have to be a little creative, that’s all…
Copyright © 2007 Simon Heong
http://ApproachingWomenTips.Com
The 'Underground' Approaching Secrets
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Opening Guy-Girl Sets Whenever you’re trying to open up sets which consist of both guys and girls, it’s very important for you to approach the GUYS first. Most guys do it the other way around. Wrong strategy. You must talk to the guys first, and once you guys have developed a good rapport with them, they will naturally introduce you to their girlfriends. Sample opener: You: “Hey guys, this club’s smokin’ huh… you guys come down here a lot?” Him: “Nah not really, it’s probably our what…2 nd time here?...” You: “No surprise there… the music’s pretty cool around here… it’s my first time actually… they sure don’t have places like this where I come from… anyway, so how’s your day been?” Him: Bla, bla, bla… You: “Oh by the way, I’m Simon and you are…?” Him: “Oh yea hi my name’s Mike… and these are my friends Jack, Chloe and Rachel” You: “Yeah hi guys… nice to meet all of you… so how do you all know each other? ” Him: Bla, bla, bla… (You’re in the set…) It’s good for you to use the line… “So how do you all know each other?” the moment you’ve been introduced into a set because it allows you to immediately know which girls are attached and which ones are single within the group… You will know instantly which girls are ‘open’ targets and which ones are with their boyfriends (closed targets) there. Obviously you should remember to keep your hands off the ones that are with their boyfriends there… Again, I personally prefer using indirect openers in guy girl sets. Because if you were to talk to the girls first in these type of sets, it clearly shows the guys within the set that you’re in there solely for ‘their’ girls . It’s just so obvious when you do so. This can easily create uncomfortable and unwanted feelings from them. Heck, most fights in bars/clubs actually get started because of things like these. So remember, you’re there to have fun and not to start fights, so play the game the smart way.
Copyright © 2007 Simon Heong
http://ApproachingWomenTips.Com
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Using A Wingman I’m sure you know by now that girls are usually out together in pairs or in groups of 3 or 4. So what you’d want to do in this case is to always try to bring along a guy friend together when you’re out approaching women. Obviously you can’t be out doing this alone ‘cos girls might instantly think of you as some freak who has no friends and goes out alone. Anyway, we’ve found that winging in pairs works best. 3 or more guys together ‘hitting’ on women will seem a lil’ more intimidating to them but again this is arguable and is pretty subjective. So use your better judgment. The purpose of having a wingman is because both of you can help and complement one another in your game. For example, if they are 2 girls out together, you and your wingman can each talk to them separately and OCCUPY them and each can run game together. One guy talking to 2 girls can be pretty tricky at times. Say you like a particular one out of the two, and you keep focusing your game on her, her friend will definitely take notice, feel uncomfortable, out of place and not to mention be bored out of her wits as you run game on her friend. Also, don’t forget, your goal here it to subtly game her and not make it too obvious that you’re into her, remember? Even if she really did like you, chances are that particular girl will be reluctant to screw her friend and focus all her attention talking to you while neglecting her friend. Girls are not guys. They just don’t act that way. If there are 5 girls in the group, one guy occupies 3 and the other occupies 2. Get the drift? Imagine how awkward or how OVERWHELMING it can be if you’re just a lone ranger there taking on 5 girls. Well, I’m not saying it’s not do-able; but all I’m trying to say is that it makes it way easier to game groups if you’re together with a wing. Wingman Rules: 1 – Purpose of winging: Helping each other to secure the target whatever way possible. Neither of you are supposed to compete with one another. 2 – Never go for the same girl: There has to be a certain compromise on who gets what. Never go winging and competing for the same girl, it’s pure suicide and reflects your CHARACTER, it shows just how little value you place on your FRIENDSHIP just to get the girl which lowers your value in front of women. 3- Responsibilities of the wing: Your wing is supposed to be there to occupy any potential obstacles to your target (normally her friend/s) so that you can have more ‘alone’ time with her.
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4 – Your wing is more important to you than them: When your wing approaches the set, show enthusiasm and quickly introduce him into the set, never ever leave him standing around or out in the cold. Turn and face him when talking to him. Show the girls you value him HIGHER than them. Guys when they’re with women, they tend to focus all their attention talking to them and neglect their guy friends altogether. DON’T do that. It will only lower your value in front of them. If your wing is talking to you, pay full attention and show the same level of excitement talking to him. 5 – Never talk bad about one another: You’re not there to take the light off your partner. If your wing is telling an interesting story, don’t interfere . If he’s building good rapport with the girls, don’t bud in. Allow it to progress further. As much as you can, the both of you are supposed to SUPPORT one another. If at all possible, always be looking for ways to make your friend look good within the set. Nothing negative should be made of him. No making women laugh at the expense of your wing. Nothing of that sort, please. 6 – Never take sides: Your loyalty is to your wing. He is ALWAYS right. Never take the woman’s side within your interactions with them. Some women like to test and see whether you’re the type who’d do anything just to score points with women by agreeing with what they have to say. When you stay true to your wing, it shows that you’re not submissive, you’re in control, you don’t sway easily, and your wing is more important to you than anything else. 7 – Never feel jealous: if your wing is performing better at getting more connection with the women within the set than you. If the women seem to be more responsive to your wing’s advances; touching, laughing and flirting with him more than you, you’re supposed to be happy for him; amp it up further; or at times we willing to sacrifice a little even if it means putting yourself on the spot; NOT be jealous because of it. The both of you are supposed to work as a TEAM, so irrelevant of who wins, at the end of the day, as long as either member of the team scores, that’s all that matters. 8 - Increasing each other value proposition: Both you should be open to increase the perceived social value of each other by casually mentioning good things about one another… be creative… it could just be anything! 9 – Setting each other up: You can also help to set one another up to help escalate his game… Examples: (a) When Wing A goes off to the toilet, you can tell his target… “I’m not too sure what it is about you, but you sure caught his attention alright. Did you guys know Wing A here’s the skins man for this awesome rock band where we came from… he’s practically got like TONS of girls just waiting to bag him every night he goes on stage but he pretty much couldn’t be bothered by it and just does his own thing… But with you he seems different, you know… hey but don’t tell him I told you that ok? Oh he’s coming back, let’s talk about something else…” [Note]: Casually blurting out statements like this sounds 10 times more impressive when they come from someone else as opposed to you bragging
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about yourself and blowing your own horns. There’s so many ways in which you can do this to increase your partner’s value in front of women, think out of the box, be creative… The key is is to be subtle in your comments, it has to sound genuine and real and not like some rehearsed story you’ve picked up from some seduction newsletter you’ve picked up online… But never, EVER lie! Women are EXCELLENT at detecting lies so whatever you do, be as truthful with your stories as possible. (b) Whilst talking, Wing A can suddenly goes… Wing A: “Hey! Any of you guys caught the latest on Amazing Race? Who got booted off this time? Girls: “Bla, bla, bla…” Wing A: “Hey since we’re talking bout far-out adventure stuff, you’ve got to check out what (your name) did just last month when he was in Bangkok… that guy was freakin’ messing about petting wild, huge ass tigers!” Girls: “Oh my God! Petting what? Thai girls?” You: (Poke her) “Is that the only thing you can think off you pervert! (Move away and give her the disgusted stare) Sandy (your target): “Hey!” (whacks you) You: “Oh yeah, I almost forgot bout it… man you guys… have you any idea what it feels like to be freakin’ petting monstrous 2 meter wide wild TIGERS that looks like they haven’t eaten in 3 weeks staring the bejesus out of you as you’re petting them? That’s what I went through, I almost pissed in my pants, I swear!” Girls: “Oh my God are you serious?” You’re just making that up… no way!” You: “Waaaayyy…. Yayyy yayyyy…” (Poking her) Girls: (Laughs) In this set, Wing A is casually demonstrating how adventurous a guy you really are and he also give you an open option to tell interesting, exciting, entertaining stories to stir and evoke their feelings as you’re talking to them… it’s another example of how your value in front of them is increased…
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Examples… Scenario 1: (Talking bla, bla, bla…) You: “Hey doesn’t Ellen (Wing A’s target) here know you read Palms?” Wing A: “You had to bring that up, did you? Now they’ll be bugging me all night just to find out how many kids they’ll have in the future You: “Uh-oh! Forgot bout that one… sorry dude… ok guys, forget I even brought that up!” Ellen: “Hey no wait, wait wait! I want to know…” (takes out her hand) Wing A: “I’m so gonna’ get you… (staring at you)” *starts kino routine on Ellen…* Wing A has multiple options to escalate his teasing & flirting efforts with Ellen… Here you’re casually setting up an opportunity for Wing A to run the kino routine on Ellen… doing so seems so ‘in the spur of the moment’… Ellen won’t even suspect anything at all and Wing A makes his move… Scenario 2: (Talking bla, bla, bla…) Wing A: “Dude, when’s the next time you guys are going for karaoke? Stacy was just asking…” You: “Nothing solid yet. Next weekend perhaps.” Girls: “So who’s the American Idol?” Wing A: “Oh, (your name) no Idol. He’s more Axl Rose.” You: “Don’t listen to him… I’m no Axl. More like Justin… Timberlake. Lol
Sandy: “Oh really! So you’re a singer, huh?” You: “Yeah, people call me Justin, minus the voice haha… but yeah… we just love goofing around with the mike sometimes… helps take stress off work… Hey now that you’ve mentioned it… whatcha’ guys doing next week Saturday? We’ll be goofing around then and what could be more fun than to have an additional 2 more people watching us make a fool of ourselves!” Sandy: “Sounds fun…” Here, Wingman A is setting up opportunities for you to casually ask your target out on a date without making it seem too obvious of your interests in here which is always a good thing at the very beginning when you’ve just met her. You don’t want to give her too much power so early into the relationship as you’re still courting her…
Copyright © 2007 Simon Heong
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There are various ways in which winging can be done. Example: You came across 2 girls happily chatting and laughing. You spot your target. Your wing is supposed to help you get your girl. Wing successfully approaches them and opens up the set. As he’s talking to them, you ‘suddenly’ walks past them and… Wing : “Hey Adrian, it’s about time you arrived… where’s the rest of the them? (demonstrating you guys are social dudes and are there with others and not just there to game women) They here yet?” You: “Neh, they just called and seems that they’re still stuck in traffic… might take a while…” Wing A: “No worries bro, hey by the way I just met Sandy and Ellen over here” You: “Hey guys, what’s up… bla, bla, bla…” (You’re in the set) Wing A then occupies Ellen whilst you start talking to Sandy (your target). Example: Wing spots his target. You approach and open up the set using your favorite openers. Wing A suddenly walks past and you pull him in You: “Hey girls, now this is someone you’ve got to meet he’s Adrian… but we usually call him “the chosen one” (here you’re pulling your Wingman into the set and make it look accidental, at the same time trying to create intrigue and a sense of mystery and fun for them to be more engaged in the conversation). Girls: “The chosen one? What’s with the name?” You: “This guy can tell you whether you’ll end up marrying a jerk or a two-timing nice guy who cooks like Jamie Oliver!” Sandy: “Oh, so your friend Adrian here is a fortune teller then huh?” You: “Aaaaaack. Geez… which school did you go to? I sure as hell will be making sure our kids won’t be going there… Sandy: (Whacks) “Oh you’re so mean!” You: “Oh you have NOOOO idea, darling... (wink at her) Sandy: ** Giggles ** You: “Anyway, he reads palms and is freakin’ killer at it I might add.”
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Ellen: “Oh really! Why don’t you read my palm, Adrian…” In this set, you’ve immediately increased Wing’s social value (by stating his uniqueness as a Palm Reader, chicks dig this but more importantly it’s different and interesting to them, not say something like he’s an accountant, banker, etc which is too boring) to both the girls the moment he enters the set. Also, by using the Palm Reader technique, you immediately gave Wing a chance to run kino on his target. There’s an endless stream of possibilities for him to run game here eg. Be playful as he’s reading her palm eg. bust on her, tickle her hand, poke her, etc… It’s for him to decide which route he’ll be taking.
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Opening Girl-Girl Sets Girls usually head on to bars in groups. As much as you wish it were true, the reality is you’ll RARELY catch them alone in a bars/clubs. So just accept this fact and practice opening up group sets in bars. Be comfortable with it. Most guys tend to wait til their target is alone before they make their move. Again, this rarely happens. In case you haven’t noticed, girls practically go everywhere in pairs. They’ll go the washroom together, they’ll put on make-up together, head to the bar together, etc… so wise up ok? When you’re approaching girl groups, always be looking to talk to the LEAST attractive ones in the group first. Most guys will talk to the hottest one there, offering to buy her drinks, focusing SOLELY on her and neglecting her friends all together. That’s dumb. When you do that, it clearly shows your DISRESPECT for her friends, which is NOT what you want to do. Your target will not feel comfortable with you doing so and could easily show her disinterest and brush you off easily. Instead, you want to have her friends to like you; to be on YOUR side. Once you have gained the approval of her friends, it’s way easier to ‘get’ to her. Her friends will eventually know what to do and will probably give you guys time alone. They might even make fun of you both as couple (this creates a special connection between you both). As you can see, the possibilities are endless when you have her friends on your side. This is what you should do… You enter the set, talk to her friends, and neglect her. She talks, you neglect her again and continue talking to her friends. (At this point, she’ll be wondering why you haven’t made your move on her like how the rest of the other guys have done to her; at some point of time, she’ll be wondering whether is there anything wrong with her and she’ll subconsciously be seeking YOUR attention then). You talk about interesting stories, funny stuff, make fun of her friends, play with them; social stuff, your goal is to go in and add VALUE and EXCITEMENT and elements of fun in their group; doing all the right things so that you’ll end up being the ‘life’ of the group. You have an advantage here because don’t forget, you’re a new ‘face’ to them, you go into the set with fresh stories, fresh experiences, a totally whole new, raw vibe their unfamiliar with. Things To Talk About: Make it DIFFERENT, unpredictable, playful and interesting. You can talk about…
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Your exciting, hair-raising trips to exotic places (use this if you’ve been to any, however if you don’t have any, just don’t lie… women can sense lies a mile away) Ghost stories and your escapades to haunted places (if you’ve ever been to one) Who’s your favorite singer on American Idol; you can start an entire debate on who’s the best, worst, cutest guy, etc (women dig this stuff!) Actors/actresses you hate and why you hate them (a debate will start from there) How a close friend of yours dumped her boyfriend for another guy who’s more financially stable and how you think it’s totally unacceptable… (you purposely do it to start controversies and pick arguments with them) Celebrity relationships and their quirkiness, (this topic alone can be the start to MANY funny comments) Dating dos and don’ts Relationships amongst your friends and their complexities/ironies TV/dramas showing and what is it about them you love/hate so much, etc, etc…
Their listening to you, looking up to you and are secretly glad that you’re there. You could bring your wingman into the group at this stage. He in turn adds FURTHER excitement and fun into the group. Once you have her friends on your side, that’s when you start focusing your attention to your target, you bust her, make fun of her, play with her, share stories together, share secrets together, call her names, mess with her, connect with her. If you’re doing everything right, she’ll see you in a different light; she’ll feel comfortable in your presence and will eventually see you as the one she’d have to impress. You’re different. Her friends like having you around. She starts hitting on you, demonstrating signals of interests in you and that’s when you capitalize on it by flirting with her even more. Conversational No-Nos: One of the reasons why most guys get rejected often is mainly because they make it too easy for women to say “no” to them. They usually ask closed ended, boring questions that will lead to yes/no answers like: Examples: You: Do you live nearby? Her: No You: Do you work nearby? Her: No You: Have you been to…? Her: No You: You come here often? Her: No
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You: Do you like…? Her: No Instead… You should always be asking OPEN ENDED questions in all your interactions with women you’re striking up conversations with for the first time. An open-ended question is designed to encourage a full, meaningful answer using the subject's own knowledge and/or feelings. It is the opposite of a closed-ended question , which encourages a short or single-word answer. One of my favorite one is… "How does (whatever) make you feel?" or some variation thereof. It could go along the lines of… • • •
Wow! I’ve never been to the Eifel Tower before… what was it like there? How did it feel the moment you conquered your first mountain? What was going through your mind when you first stepped out of the plane?
[Note]: When you specifically asks a woman how she FEELS about a particular subject/topic, that’s how you focus in directly into their feelings and get her to express her thoughts and emotions more. Women LOVE expressing themselves emotionally. “Tell me, why do women LOVE watching Oprah so much? What is it about that show?” Get it? Try it and you’ll see how women’s eyes will light up when you actually asks questions that stir up her emotions. Talk about things that are GIRL RELEVANT…
So tell me, what’s the 3 most exciting things you’ve did last month? What do your and your friends do for fun to relax and unwind? Name me 3 of your top all-time favorite shows and I can tell straight away what sort of person are you Who do you think are the sexiest male singers alive? Tell me something… I’m baffled as to why women love fooling around… as if one guy is not enough for them… (this will strike a chord in them and the conversation can go on for hours!) What’s with shoes, and bags with you women? Why is it NEVER enough? I just can’t seem to figure it out… why do women bring their cameras EVERYWHERE they go? Why?
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Approaching Women In Cafes/Seated Settings Cafes, dining places and seated settings are also very good areas to get to meet women. At places like these, everyone is pretty close to one another as they’re not moving about too much when compared to bars/clubs which could be real advantageous to you and it can be the easiest places to approach. Remember the basic structure for all approaches; as you enter the set, be sociable, friendly and warm to the people around. Have a big fat smile on your face at all times, when people smile back, just greet them and say “Hi” . Guys or girls, it doesn’t really matter. One way I always like to use is again to use whatever that’s around me to chat with women there. Say a girl is sitting just at the next table. I’ll just lean over and ask for something . It could be ANYTHING. I’ll go “Excuse me, could I borrow your pen for a sec?” if I see her writing on something. And once she has lent it to you and you’ve finished using it, as you’re returning it, I’d say something like “thanks for the pen, you have no idea but your pen really saved my life!” She’ll be naturally be curious and ask “why is that?” . Then you can just cook up some DRAMATIC story about how you aren’t seeing eye to eye with your dad, which made you move out of your house, 3000 miles away in a foreign place, you’re barely surviving, almost dying but you’re sticking by your goals of becoming a movie producer when everyone keeps saying you couldn’t do it, and how it’s been months now without income… and then you suddenly saw a job ad in the papers looking for a young movie producer, and there you are… meeting her by chance, and borrowing from her the very pen you need to draft ‘the letter’ that’ll make or break your dreams… Or something along those lines… This is yet another example of using STORY TELLING to hook her in… Do you get where I’m trying to get at? Again it’s not so much of witty lines to open, but more of just having an EXCUSE to start off a conversation with her. Any excuse will do. As long as the both of you gets talking, that’s it! You can follow up with literally ANYTHING after that to get to know her. You can ask for her to lend you her newspaper for all I care… you can ask her to pass you the sugar, the salt, the milk… who cares really?
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Remember: what is most important is how you FOLLOW THROUGH the conversation after that. You can ask her who’s she with… or what’s she doing there, working on her college assignment, work stuff or practically anything under the sun! Or you could use the “role reversal” technique I’ve explained earlier… Her: “Excuse me, could I borrow your pen for second, please?” You: (Look serious and stare at her blankly) “No, you cannot” Her: (Stunned) You: “Neh just kidding… here you go…” Her: “Excuse me, could I borrow your lighter for second?” You: Wow... so THIS how you normally seduce men in cafes, huh?” (smile) Her: Excuse me, can I borrow your pen, please? You: Sure… I’ll even let you write down your number and email when you’re done… (smile) Be creative. There’s much you can do with what you’ve learned here. Now, if she’s sitting further away, the trick is for you to position yourself FACING her direction. This way, it’s EASIER for you to initiate eye contact when the time arises. There will bound to be a time where her eyes will be looking around and all you have to do is smile at her when she looks your away. At first, she’ll think nothing much of it, but if you’ve done it 2-3 times and she’s smiling back, don’t hesitate, get up and walk over to her sit and go… You: “I can’t believe you. Once or twice is fine… but then you went overboard after that… Honestly, I’m feeling a little uncomfortable with you checking ME out like that… (smile)… do you ALWAYS do that?” Her: (Laughs) “Hey, how’d you notice?” You: “It’s really not funny you know... For all I know you could be following me home after my drink… and they say this town’s a safe place… Her: (Laughs) “Stop it…” You: “Ok…. So… what’s your story?” Her: “Bla, bla, bla… I like using the line “so, what’s your story?” as openers with women I’ve just met because it’s such an open-ended question that can lead on to almost anything else. It’s a very casual & natural question to ask someone, it’ll NEVER look like you’re doing a pick-up when you use it.
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On a more playful note, this is another thing which I LOVE to do when I’m in a more playful note. Here’s what you do… Take a napkin, take a pen and draw a tic-tac-toe "board" on the napkin. Start the game off by putting an "x" on it, then ask the waiter/waitress to take both the pen and the napkin over to her. When she gets the napkin, look at her and give her the coolest *smirk* you can ever give to her ;-) Now, 8 out of 10 times, she'll usually accept the invitation to 'play'. She will naturally put an "o" and you guys can have like a secret "game" going on between the both of you. Now once she's 'in' the game and the moment you get back the napkin for your turn, right after you have marked your spot, make sure you write down something wacky/funny like "I am SOOO gonna kick your ass!" next to it ;-) and get the waiter/waitress to hand it back to her. When she gets back the napkin, she'll usually laugh and will probably write back something 'nasty' to you too... Once that happens, you know you're in the 'game' with her. Now, don't be surprised SHE'LL be the one that walks up and brings the napkin back to you when the both of you have finished the game... You'll know what to do after that... ;-) Another technique I like to use especially when I'm at a restaurant, cafe or any 'seated' place for that matter is this... The moment I spot a girl I'd like to meet and she's sitting there all by herself, I'll immediately walk up and sit right next to her and I'll say, "Did you save this seat for me?" *Smile* Most of the time, she'll be so surprised and lost for words, she won't even know what to say. But notice how powerful this technique can be. When you do this -- you'll instantly project and show how amazingly confident and over- the-top you are as a person. Often times, the girl will find it rather fun if you do so.
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The key here is to be extremely confident and RELAXED when you use this approach -basically do this as if you've done this a thousand times and am very sure that you'll get a positive response from her. You have to make as if you just DON'T CARE of the outcome. This technique is the TRUE example of what you SHOULD be doing and acting when I stress the point of you having to have that certain degree of CONFIDENCE (some call it playful cockiness) when you're approaching or when you're WITH women. Confidence doesn't mean reminding yourself or talking to yourself in your brain to "be confident". You have to SHOW her YOUR confidence. Do it with flair, do it with style. Always remember, you don't HAVE to make her like you. Yes, let me repeat that. You don't HAVE to make her like you. I've said it many times over and I am going to say it again. When you're approaching women, DON'T THINK OF THE OUTCOME. Stop pressuring yourself into thinking… "Oh, what should I say to make her like me?" "How should I act to make her like me?" Stop that! Instead -- always remember the keywords that I've taught you -- just as long as you're wacky & funny enough when you're with her, you've got it made. The results will eventually take care of itself as you go along. I’d like to add… when you’re approaching women in seated settings, it’s important for you to NOT to do it standing all the time. It’s awkward when you do so. You don’t have to wait until the girls invite you to sit down with them. Just ASSUME they want you to sit with them. If you’re just starting out and your confidence level isn’t really there yet, you can start it off with the simplest of things… if she’s sitting away from you and notices you’re looking… smile! If she smiles back, just wave your hand gently and go… “Hiiii…” then walk right up to her… and you can start off your conversation by going “Hey… you have nice smile
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there… what ‘s your name… no wait… don’t tell me… I’m guessing your friends call you Winnie… the pooh?”… When she laughs… follow through with fluff, small talk… Remember the flow… keep it light… and you should be able to do well naturally…
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Approaching Women In Bookstores Meeting women in bookstores can be fun too! I like using opinion openers there. Say you just saw your target, just grab yourself a girly or female type of book; they can be anything, from romance novels, cook books, baking books, knitting, coloring books and just walk up right next to her and go “Hey, you look like someone who can help me out here… See, I’m actually looking for a book as a birthday gift for a friend of mine, but I’m just lost when it comes to choosing books for girls that they’d be REAL interested in… so I was wondering if you could be a kind sport and help me pick out something for her?” Or if you really feel like your energy level is up that day, try something more fun. There was once I was in Borders and I suddenly saw this pretty little cutie like 8 or 9 meters away checking out the magazine section… I couldn’t resist going for it so here’s what I did… I picked up a pick-up book and I went up to her and said… “Hey, I was just skimming through this pick-up book and I’m testing to see whether it really works on girls… so how’s my approach? Have you fallen in love with me yet?” Man… you should’ve seen the look on her face, she practically stared at me like she’s just seen a ghost or somethin’ and she mumbled… “Do yourself a favour… DON’T buy that book…” and then she broke out laughing!! Damn, I’m good. And of course I just went… “Hey at least I’m talking to you, right?” And she’ll go… “well… yeah but it’s sooo cheesy, don’t you think?” The rest as they say… is history
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Approaching Women At Grocery Stores Opinion openers work best here. Asking questions about food/beverage stuff as an opener is pretty standard here but try to ask something really specific to avoid making it look like a lame pick up line. The fruit section’s normally a pretty good place to start as buying fruits can be known to be rather tricky at times and women know guys pretty much suck when it comes to choosing and buying fruits on their own. So it’s more or less expected if you touch on topics such as fruits. Examples: “Do you by any chance know how to tell whether this mango’s sweet? I’ve always wondered how people can tell…” “Hi, how can you tell whether this orange is still fresh or whether it’s been here for weeks now? I’m just hopeless when it comes to choosing fruit…” (by poking fun at yourself, you’re disqualifying yourself and making it seem like you’re not there with an agenda to pick her up, you can sometimes draw women in and engage them into a conversation by using disqualification) “Hey, which do you think makes better juices… red or green apples?” You: “Hi, I know this is a pretty silly question to ask, but does this honeydew look ripe to you?” Her: (Smiling) “Don’t worry about it. I had the same problem when I first started out myself” Here’s how to differentiate them… bla, bla, bla… You: “Hey thanks! You’re a lifesaver! You know, I’m supposed to be in charge of getting a whole bunch of stuff from this list I got here for my niece’s birthday next week and I’ve never felt as lost as I am right now! I mean, who would’ve thought buying fruits… of all things… could be this hard? But that’s my problem anyway… Hey by the way I’m Simon and you are…?” Her: “Oh hi I’m Janine so nice to meet you…” You: Yeah nice meeting you… so who are you here with?” Her: Bla, bla, bla… The key here is for you to be in a friendly, talkative mood and to just go with the flow. I always like to follow up with the line “so who are you here with?” right after I’ve introduced myself so that I can immediately qualify her and tell whether she’s there alone or with her other half.
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Again, it’s a very good line to remember as it comes off as non-intrusive and it always makes good conversational flow… If she’s with the later, then I’ll just politely excuse myself, but if she’s there alone, then great! Apart from the fruit section, I guess it pretty much is open as to how you want to approach… Examples: “Hey I’ve always come across that particular brand of milk before but just wasn’t up to getting it til now… have you ever tried that before?” “My goodness, so many brands to choose from. Errm, excuse me, could you help me out here… I’m pretty bad at this… but which brand do you think is the best one here?” You: “Hi, how’s your day been? Her: “Hi, yea it’s alright.” You: Wonderful. Hey you know what…, I’m actually thinking of getting a box of chocolates for my sister’s 19 th birthday and I really need a girl’s opinion on this. Which one of these do you think makes the perfect birthday present? Her: “I don’t know… what types does she like?” You: bla, bla, bla… As your target is picking up a tub of ice-cream, you can go… You: “I wouldn’t take that if I were you…” Her: (Looking surprised) “Why not?” You: “Let’s just say I tried it once and it led me to an awfully dreadful visit to my bubbly, gay-ish dentist. Trust me, you’ll be way better off if you were to spend your money on that one…” Her: “Hmmm…” You: “I’m Simon by the way… “ Her: Bla, bla, bla… Your goal in all your approaches is to make it seem like the both of you are talking to one another as if you have known each other for years… that’s why busting on her, challenging her on your first meeting works so well! It’s because only old buddies pick on one another!
Copyright © 2007 Simon Heong
http://ApproachingWomenTips.Com
The 'Underground' Approaching Secrets
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Now, don’t forget, women LOVE accidental romance! They love the fact through some cosmic forces up above, the both of you just happened to meet, and suddenly ‘clicked’ with one another… that’s how cupid works sometimes… according to them anyway! Remember, often times as you do your approaches, again I want to remind you it’s not what you say to her that matters, its HOW you deliver the materials that matters most. It could just be a slight wink at her as you’re busing her balls, a playful poke at her as you’re teasing her or any small lil’ gesture you do the moment you’re talking to her that will ultimately decide whether you’ve bombed or succeeded in your approach so be wary of this.
Copyright © 2007 Simon Heong
http://ApproachingWomenTips.Com
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Approaching Women in Bus/Train Stations It’s pretty easy to meet women at bus/train stations you see regularly on your way to work. Say you’ve spot your target. Note down the exact time and day which you saw her… this is most likely her daily schedule to go to work. It is very important that the moment she first noticed you and sees you looking at her, make sure you SMILE at her. Just a warm smile won’t kill ‘ya will it? Don’t look away, don’t try to pose, don’t try to act cool. Just smile. As she returns your smile you can walk up to her and greet her with a warm nice “Hi, so how’s it going? On your way to work huh?” Once you’ve initiated conversation, great! You can ask her basic, simple stuff: where she works, what does she work as, where she lives and stuff like that. Feel free to sprinkle bits of playful stuff here and there. At daytime settings like this, the energy level that you bring in your interactions with her need not necessarily be at the same level as when you’re approaching women at night in bars, clubs. You do not want to be looking like you’re trying to hit on every girl that’s there on the train, do you? You also do not want to be walking up to every girl and introducing yourself do you? Often times, you have to use your own better judgment in your approaches. It’s crucial for you to make your move as early as possible and not wait too long. Waiting too long to make your move shows your lack of confidence to approach and talk to her. You don’t want to make it seem like you’ve been trying so hard all this while to gather your guts just to talk to her, do you? Here, your goal is to get to know one another, become acquaintances first and get comfortable with one another before you actually ask her out on a date. The rule to remember is not to reveal too much about yourself to her too fast. A magician doesn’t show all his tricks at one go, does he? You have to maintain a little mystery about yourself so that the girl feels she needs to go out with you to get to know more about you. Once you have secured the date, you’ll have to avoid seeing her in between the time you first asked her and the time in which the both of you will be going on a date together. If not, it’ll feel weird if you guys were to meet before the actual date.
Copyright © 2007 Simon Heong
http://ApproachingWomenTips.Com
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The reason why you’re doing this is to create a sudden sense of ‘loss’ for you. Imagine, the both of you constantly meeting one another when suddenly you just ‘disappear’. Give her a sense of ‘missing’ you. She’ll naturally be wondering what happened to you… and thinking about you more… small subtle things like these might seem like trivial things to you, but believe me, it is with these minor, minor details that eventually add up and stir those feelings of attraction for you… When you give her the gift of missing you, you’re building up the anticipation, building it up to a level in which she’ll be anxiously looking forward to her date with you… So until the first date, take the liberty to leave a little earlier or later just to avoid bumping into her before the actual big day.
Copyright © 2007 Simon Heong
http://ApproachingWomenTips.Com
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Approaching Women Fitness/Health Centers This is my all-time favorite place to meet women… fast. Gyms/health centres can be one of the best places for you to quickly build your own network of both male and female friends. It’s a place you go to frequently, the people there are generally all friendly and outgoing, girls go there to meet guys, guys go there to meet girls, everyone knows that it’s a great place to meet new people… I mean, what more can you ask for? Notice how gyms/health centres now incorporate aerobics/fitness/dance/yoga classes within their entire premise together with the main center? Well, that’s your gold mine right in front of you! There are 4 different groups of people there you can run game on: 1 – Sales consultants (who normally will look hot, as with all sales people nowadays) 2 – Personal trainers 3 – Gym members 4 – Members of the aerobic/body pump/yoga/dance classes, etc 1- Sales Consultants If you’ve spot one you fancy, just go right up and talk to her. As consultants, it is their job to be friendly with gym members so make the most out of it. Whenever you see her, smile at her and say hi… as you see her more often, begin the conversation with fluff talk, fluff talk, get to know her better and move on forward from there… Now, I know of guys who can get too nervous and will be at a loss for words with girls they like… if that’s your case, find an EXCUSE to talk to her… ANY excuse to talk to her is ok… ask her about the latest membership promotions they are having now as you have a friend who might be interested to join, ask her anything which has got to do with the gym… and she’ll be more obliged to talk and spend time with you… Some people might think of this tactic as lame… but as with all things in life, it’s always the END RESULT that matters… not how you get it. So, if this means you’ll have to find out ways (however lame they might seem to other people) to get to know her and have more time alone to run game with her, who cares what fancy ‘techniques’ you’ll be using… As long as you get her in the end, right? 2- Personal Trainers
Copyright © 2007 Simon Heong
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As with personal trainers, if you see someone you like, again… make a habit of using your surroundings to strike up conversations with her. There’s so many ways you can do this… when you see her… just go… You: “Hi, hey you look like the best person here who can help me…” Her: “Oh yup hi. And yes, what can I do for you?” You: “Well, here’s the thing… You see, I’ve been doing lots of cardio training lately and it’s been working well and fine but unfortunately, my legs are starting to ache and I’m starting to wonder whether I’ve been doing my regime wrong all this while… Maybe you could help me out in my training perhaps… ?” Her: “Sure… bla, bla, bla…” (Run game)… 3 - Gym Members You’ve got to realize that most girls are very focused with their regime as their working out and some may not be as responsive to any of your advances as their running away on the treadmill. But there’s no harm in trying though. What you could in turn do is to acknowledge her when she looks your way and just give out a friendly greeting to her when you’re walking past her. Don’t be like the rest of the guys who only knows how to stare and gawk at chicks there without doing anything. You’re way passed that stage. Sometimes you’ll be surprised by what a simple “hi” greeting to a girl can do to your game. Once she’s familiar with you, the next time you see her, talk to her and ask her name… small talk, fluff talk, and slowly get to know her… because she’s already used to you saying hello and acknowledging her several times before, talking to her will seem like the most natural thing for you to do… in most cases, it’ll be done out of plain courtesy and most important of all, it doesn’t look and feel like you’re picking her up at all! The waiting area just outside the aerobics/dance, body pump classes is probably the best place for you to meet people. This is the one place where most people tend to group up and chill out within the gym so that makes it the place you should be in to run game. 4 – Members of the aerobic/body pump/yoga/dance classes, etc This is one of the most overlooked places where you can meet women very quickly… it’s something you simply must explore and leverage on if you’re currently a member of a health/fitness club. I love these classes! Think about it. First off… yoga classes. In most cases, 90% of people who join yoga classes are females. So, why aren’t you there? And for those who think doing yoga is too gay-ish, screw them. Who cares what they think?
Copyright © 2007 Simon Heong
http://ApproachingWomenTips.Com
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You’re just there to learn a new art form whilst meeting chicks at the same time. Do you see anything wrong in being surrounded by sweaty, sexy, fine young thangs? I don’t think so too. And the best thing about these classes are that as a class, you’re supposed to know another. I mean, everyone is EXPECTED to get acquainted with each other. What approaches do you need to do there? That’s right. Nothing. You’ll just have to smile and introduce yourself to people there. How hard can that be? Another favorite of mine is the dance classes, especially the more classy ones eg. Salsa, ballroom, etc. You see, the best thing about these classes is that everyone is supposed to be partnered up with someone else. As you’re dancing with her, you’re leading her, you’re touching her, just imagine… 2 perfect strangers who know absolutely nothing of each other, suddenly put into a position of such physical intimacy, both your arms locked above her waist, hers holding firmly around your neck/shoulders. How much more sexier can it get? In those classes, everyone is supposed to learn from one another and is required to change partners every once in a while. You’re practically ‘forced’ to know girls there… almost automatically. Life couldn’t be sweeter…
Copyright © 2007 Simon Heong
http://ApproachingWomenTips.Com
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Approaching Women In Female HTOs (High Traffic Outlets) HTOs (high traffic outlets) are places where a LARGE concentration of women normally flock to. The most notable places are obviously are the ones selling women’s clothing and accessories mainly because women just love to shop! Example: When I see the target, I’d just go… “Hey, you look like someone who knows how to accessories. I know this is kind of awkward but I’m actually looking to for something unique for my cousin sister’s birthday. I was wondering whether you could help out a poor soul over here to pick out some stuff for her? I could show you some magic tricks if you like? Ha ha ha!!” (Here you’re using female opinion openers which works extremely well because you’re asking for a female’s opinion on fashion and most girls know guys totally SUCK when it comes to fashion/dress sense). Female opinion openers work EXTREMELY well especially if you ask them to help you in the fashion department… whatever they may be… for some funny reason, women simply LOVE to accessorize guys and help them pick out clothes. In day-game sets, one of the most natural ways to approach women is to subtly comment on their appearance, NOT their looks, but their appearance.
“Hey, that bracelet looks really unique… where’d you get them?” (If you see her wearing a funky charm bracelet) “Hey that blouse you’re having on is exactly what I’m looking for… Where’d you get it? “Hey, that tattoo on your back’s awesome! Where’d you get those? I know my sis would love to those too…”
Get the drift? Always keep an eye out for unique marks, clothing pieces, accessories you can compliment or comment on as indirect openers… it works everytime!
Copyright © 2007 Simon Heong
http://ApproachingWomenTips.Com
The 'Underground' Approaching Secrets
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Approaching Women In Parks Admittedly, women are very wary of talking to strangers (guys especially duh!) in a park. This is where a lot of crimes and rape cases tend to happen so it’s not surprising that they’re highly guarded against guys approaching them there. If it’s someone you tend to see often, the best way for you to approach a girl here is to just say hi whenever you bump into each other. That’s it. Continue doing the same for another 2-3 times before you start talking to her. When you do this, it comes off to be more natural when you actually do approach and talk to her. By then, you’re just being polite and friendly to strike up a conversation with her. You’re not a “stranger” to her anymore and more importantly it doesn’t make you look like some life-threatening, weird-ass desperado trying to pick up chicks in the park. Topics of conversation: -
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“Hey you’re kind of a health freak, aren’t you?” I seem to bump into you here everytime… My name’s Simon by the way and you are…? ” “Do you live nearby? You seem to be here all the time… “Hi there, I guess it’s just proper for me to introduce myself… My name’s Simon and you are…?” “Your dog’s real cute… what’s her name?” (if she’s there walking her dog) “Hey that’s a neat bike… where’d you get it? (if she’s there riding her bicycle) “Hey those trainers look real cool… bet it’d make an excellent gift for my sister… where’d you get them by the way?”
Just use whatever’s around you as your topic of conversation. You could also start off by talking about both your common interests… say if you’re there jogging and she’s there jogging… you can ask her why she’d took up jogging in the first place. What got her to take up jogging? Stuff like that. However if you were to approach a girl who’s not a regular at the park, well, the best way is for you use direct openers. You won’t get a second chance meeting her again, so it’s best for you to be direct. When you see her, walk up to her, smile and say… -
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“Hi there, you come here often?” “Hi my name’s Simon. Nice to meet you… and you are…?”
There are 2 things that might happen when you do this… (a) She’ll either give you that “you are not worthy” stare and just walk away (b) She’ll respond to your question and you continue on from there… If she responds to you, then great! But if she brushes you off, then remember that it’s just a natural defense mechanism for women to not simply talk to strangers in parks
Copyright © 2007 Simon Heong
http://ApproachingWomenTips.Com
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especially, so don’t beat yourself up over it… just move on to the next approach… it’s just part and parcel of playing the approaching game…
Copyright © 2007 Simon Heong
http://ApproachingWomenTips.Com
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Approaching Women In Wedding Dinner Receptions Wedding events are very good places to meet women. It’s a social event and everyone is supposed to be friendly and mingle around with one another. The ambience is perfect, the lighting/decorations divine, the music’s just right, everyone’s dressed their very best, in fact women LOVE meeting men at events like these (it’s a girl thing). Women will not be as guarded at events like these which makes it a perfect venue to approach them. All you need is just a big, warm smile and dressed to your very best. No routines needed. Remember social etiquette no.1 at any social setting. Always start off small talk by bringing up things that everyone has in common there. In wedding dinners/receptions, one of the best ones to use is this: You: “Hi there… so how are you related to the groom/bride?” Of course you can strike up small talk by bringing up work related stuff like “so what do you do for a living, where do you work, etc…” but can you imagine how weird it’ll sound when you suddenly ask a stranger “so, where do you go to work?”… There’s just something not right there, don’t you think? Know that, at ANY social setting where everyone’s expected to mingle with one another, you’ll always be safe when you use the “How are you related to the (host)?” line. It’s a natural and an easy-to- use ice-breaker and most importantly… people use it all the time! Also remember, at wedding events, never be too picky with the choices of women you’d strike up conversations with. Events like these are the best places to ‘mine’ for women , just aim to get to know as many acquaintances there, get as many numbers as you can. You can treat it as your very own ‘mining’ field if you will. And once you’re done, you can slowly start getting to know her friends.
Copyright © 2007 Simon Heong
http://ApproachingWomenTips.Com
The 'Underground' Approaching Secrets
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Approaching Women In Closed Settings – House Parties: This is an excellent place to meet women. If you see a girl you like, you open up using the same line I just mentioned awhile ago. You: “Hi there, how’s the party been for you so far? Her: “Yeah hi… Bla, bla, bla…” You: “So how are you related to the (host)?” Her: Bla, bla, bla… The “Social Proof” technique works extremely well in settings like these. All you have to do is to mingle and talk to women there… whoever they may be. It doesn’t have to be the girl you’re eye-ing for. As long as you’re having fun talking to the women around you, other women in the room will surely notice. If you want faster results, just make sure you do it close to the proximity of your target. Naturally when she sees other women having fun talking to you, she’ll automatically be curious to get to know who you are as well. In a way, you’re subtly giving her the perception that you’re “in demand” with the women around you… this is social proof at its best. So once you’re finished talking to your female friends, just smile at her, walk up to her, flash that warm smile of yours and get talking… You’ll know what to do next…
Copyright © 2007 Simon Heong
http://ApproachingWomenTips.Com