www.CarlosXuma.com
PICKUP IS *DEAD* The Alpha MANifesto ______________ Transform Yourself Into the Genuine, Confident, Successful Man Every Quality Woman Wants... © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions, LLC.
www.CarlosXuma.com This ebook is LONG overdue. For the last 3 or 4 years, being a “pickup artist” has been all the rage. Interestingly enough, I’ve never considered myself a “pickup artist.” I don’t even have a clever call-sign to give me a false sense of importance or coolness.
Pickup is DEAD... Long Live the NEW Order of Men Who Know How to BE Attractive. Not just fake it.
Although, I seriously thought about using “McLovin.” Men everywhere had been searching for an effective way to attract women. Some guys knew how this Art of Attraction worked; some didn’t. But now we’ve reached a new time and a new understanding of what it takes to attract and keep a woman. (In every single seminar and bootcamp I’ve taught, over 90% of the guys wanted a single relationship with an attractive woman. NOT a revolving door of “one night stands.”)
Manifesto - Noun manifesto (plural manifestos or manifestoes) 1.A public declaration of principles, policies, or intentions
Famous Manifestoes: !
The United States Declaration of Independence (1776)
!
The Cartagena Manifesto (1812), by Simón Bolívar
!
The Hacker's Manifesto (1986), By The Mentor aka Loyd Blankenship
© 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions, LLC.
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www.CarlosXuma.com This report that you’re about to read is going to blow the lid off the “secret” society of pickup artists. Perhaps even more than my friend Neil Strauss’ book did. If you’ve been searching for a REAL answer to the question “How can I attract more women into my life?” then hold on, because this book will change the way you look at women, dating, practicing “pickup” and may even change the way you look at your life.
YOUR Reality. Define it however you want to. And GET REAL in the process.
If you’re scared of having your reality rocked, this isn’t the book you’re looking for. Just close the file and move on to some other clever list of “opening lines” or “routines.” But if you’re looking for more than drunk makeout sessions in a bar or club with a woman you can’t quite see through the smoke or hear through the noise, then you’re about to learn the R.E.A.L. Art of Attraction that most guys will never hear about, much less learn. The first 90% of this book is hardcore content and pure gold, and the rest is openhanded self-serving on my part. I want you to really GET this information in a way that few others have. And I’m willing to use some unconventional methods to do it - but I’ll always be 100% honorable and authentic with you in the process. Pardon my French, but this is no bullshit - and no hype. I don’t have time for that obnoxious sales stuff, and neither do you. I intend to only give you the Truth in this book - straight from my heart.
© 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions, LLC.
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www.CarlosXuma.com I had a lot of guys write to me and tell me that they felt the information I’m giving away in this ebook would do one (or more) of several things: Infuriate the other pickup “gurus” out there... Put everyone in this field out of business when they discovered what I’m about to reveal...
The things I thought but could not say...
... until NOW.
Make me out to be a crackpot loony with delusions of grandeur... Well, maybe it will do one of those, or all of them... or NONE of them. I’m not really concerned about that. This is important information you need to have, and I want to help you before you fall victim to some incredibly addictive and enticing traps out there. I feel like Tom Cruise’s character in Jerry Maguire, watching what was going on around him and having to finally scream ENOUGH! I pretty much did the same thing he did, too. I stayed up over the course of several nights and poured my heart into this book. In fact, I’m even thinking of that famous line from the movie (no, the other line from that movie): “The things we think but do not say...” It’s high time this was said... Your friend,
http://www.CarlosXuma.com
© 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions, LLC.
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www.CarlosXuma.com PS: I made this book as short as it would let me. Meaning that when I get started, it’s tough to stop me - especially when it’s a topic I know as well as I do this one. So I’m not going to waste your time or insult your intelligence. If you think I have, then email me or call me at the contact info I’m going to give you later in the report.
Unlike Morpheus, I have no Blue Pill for you.
I’m here to tell you what you need to hear, not fantasy nonsense about women flocking to you like a rock star because you’re wearing a top hat and goggles. Now let’s get your red pill so you can unplug from this NEW matrix called “pickup” and get plugged into a reality that YOU choose.
Sometimes we don’t need a choice.
© 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions, LLC.
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www.CarlosXuma.com Wait... Close this book right now. Stop. I want you forget you saw this book. It’s far too risky for you to shake things up at this point. Close this file and delete it. Please. Just throw it in your trash now and forget you even saw it. No, really. Get rid of it. Huh? You’re still here? Hmmm. Well, I guess I’ll continue, but I really hope you’ll see the light and stay like everyone else. Please. I don’t want to start a revolution. C’mon, really man. Just close this book and let this silly notion go. It’s easier to not change. It’s easier to just stay the same old person and live your life in ignorant bliss. Close this document and trash it. I’ll refund you the money. WHAT???!! You still haven’t heeded my warning...? EXCELLENT! You ARE the right kind of guy. You’re not a quitter. No one ever made a statue for or celebrated a quitter. All right. Let’s get this thing started. I’ll start by telling you something you think you already know...
© 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions, LLC.
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www.CarlosXuma.com It’s Not Just About Getting Laid, Is It? It’s 4:00 AM, and I’m laying next to my girlfriend in bed. She’s a very beautiful Asian woman, and she fills my every need. And it took me over ten years to get her.
10 years is better than NEVER, right?
No, I don’t mean that I got her by appearing on her doorstep every week bringing her flowers and candies. I didn’t do it by sending her poems and desperate pleas to be my woman. I didn’t do it by acting like a cartoon character wimp from a sitcom on television. I didn’t do it by buying her expensive gifts or flaunting wealth. I did it by being me. Not the “me” that I was many years ago, mind you. Not the “un-refined” me that I once used to repel women in the past. It also wasn’t the “pickup artist” version of me that I used to attract women in bars in clubs just a few short years ago. I did this by being a “Man.” A REAL man with modern masculinity that is authentic and attractive to women. And it really didn’t take me 10 years to get HER, per se, but it took that long for me to create the Alpha Lifestyle that would draw her in and make her mine. (It will take you a LOT less time than it did me if you read this and heed my words.)
© 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions, LLC.
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www.CarlosXuma.com And it’s my objective here to tell you more about how you can do this on your own, with no bootcamps and no top hats or “fake it ‘til you make it” mind games. Over 90% of the guys in my bootcamps and seminars want a single lasting relationship with one woman. ONE woman.
QUALITY is something most guys define by the size of her boobs, the cuteness of her tush, and the speed with which he can sleep with her. Or can’t sleep with her...
And when you talk to them, they all agree that it’s not about getting laid, really. Yeah, we all want sex - even women want it (and more than you can imagine) - but in the end we’re all looking for a lasting relationship. And almost all of these guys I talked to wanted a QUALITY woman. Now since “quality” is a subjective term, I’ll come back to that in a while. The important thing to come away with here is that going after women is not really about “getting laid.” Most guys know this, yet we chase the “quick lay” promises because they appeal to our most primitive part of our mind. I want to show you a way that you can get the women, the sex, the relationship - and the LIFESTYLE you desire. And you won’t have to wear ridiculous clothes and play head games to get it all. I’ll warn you now, this book is as wild and diverse as my mind. As a result, you’re going to read a lot of interesting things in these pages, so hang on and let me tell you...
© 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions, LLC.
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www.CarlosXuma.com A Story You Might Relate To... Keith is a good friend of mine. Keith used to be something of a “pickup artist.” He was a decent enough looking guy, and in his late twenties. This is NOT Keith.
He had a decent job that afforded him the flexibility to go after whatever he wanted to do. If he wanted to take a break in the middle of the day to go rock climbing, he could. He had a cool dog and a cool Subaru that could get him where he wanted to go. Yes, he even had a lot of issues in life growing up (as we all have.) He wasn’t perfect. And then he found “the community.” Another clever way of saying he found this “secret society of pickup artists” and all the information there was to be had on the techniques and skills of the “seducer.” He read Ross Jeffries’ stuff. He read David D’s stuff. He read my stuff. Lance’s stuff. Grant’s stuff. Mystery’s stuff... You name it, and he had it. He invested thousands of dollars and hours into the fascinating pursuit of the Holy Grail for the modern man: The ability to approach and attract women with the goal of getting sexually intimate with as many women as he could. Isn’t that what we men want to validate our virility? The ability to just go out anywhere, anytime, and get a woman that will find us interesting and sexually appealing? Well, yes... Sorta.
© 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions, LLC.
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www.CarlosXuma.com Let me keep going with Keith’s story a bit longer... Keith went to bootcamps and seminars. He learned the routines and the “openers.” “Openers” are the specific words that other pickup artists used to hook the interest of women.
Do you ever feel like something is missing?
He learned the classic responses to a woman’s “shit tests.” These are the specific words you use to respond to a woman who is testing your confidence and masculinity by trying to “trick” you. Keith learned how to apply “kino” and manage his body language.
Is there some kind of Da Vinci code for the Game?
Kino is another way of saying “kinesthetics” meaning the science of touch between people, and how to use it to build attraction. He was even introduced to the concept of “Inner Game” along the way. Inner game is the internal dialogue we’re having in our head, and is often directly connected to a man’s confidence. Keith got just about every bit of information he needed... But something was still missing. He and I would talk over various philosophical elements when we would meet up and snowboard in Tahoe. We were on a lift, and he asked me: “So how do I put all this stuff I learned together into something I can use?”
© 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions, LLC.
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www.CarlosXuma.com I always hesitate here, primarily because it’s a big question, and if I come up with an answer too soon, I’ll seem like I’m not really hearing them out. Keith was actually asking me the “Big Question” of this whole dating and seduction community. So after a dramatic, thoughtful pause, I finally got around to answering him.
R.E.A.L. Game is...
“Dude, your answer is right in front of you, but you don’t even see it.” He said, “Huh?”
Relaxed & Resourceful Effective & Energized Alpha & Authentic Lifestyle & Lasting
“You’re sitting here on a ski lift with me, but we haven’t even been talking to the other people on the chair with us.” He looked a bit mystified, but after a minute his eyes closed and he started nodding and smiling. You see, a lot of guys go through this. They learn a lot of “pickup” skills - the opening lines and the techniques, but they don’t learn that they need to be integrating their skills into their daily lives. It’s just as much about being a good SOCIAL guy as it is about being good at dating. In fact, it’s ten times more important to balance your “pickup” / ”seduction” / dating skills with your social skills. Why? Because for every guy that gets the girl he wants, he realizes that creating a relationship requires deeper inner game skills than he ever imagined. Just being a clever guy with a quick story is not enough to keep a woman interested in you.
© 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions, LLC.
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www.CarlosXuma.com Over the next four months, Keith got himself fired up and started again with his own interests and hobbies. He got interested in his own life and what he was doing. He got active in his outdoor sports, and just enjoying his life for HIM. I even visited his cabin again in Tahoe and found he had put one of my sayings up on the wall: “You’re not put here to discover yourself you’re here to CREATE yourself.”
One Word that can take you into the next level...
I’m glad he learned that lesson finally. And I was flattered that he took something I said to heart and started using it. Fast forward a few months and Kevin had found a good woman who made him happy. And didn’t get her from using “pickup” skills (even though he had a more fundamental understanding of them.) And I met her. She’s hot. Keith got her when he was most focused on driving up the quality and Alpha Power in his own lifestyle. And he was also using something else now, without even knowing it. This one word transformed his game into the next level. I’ll talk about that in the next part...
© 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions, LLC.
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www.CarlosXuma.com In the Beginning... There was the word. And the word was “Seduction.”
There is a secret world of psychology beneath the one that we assume is rational...
Oooh. That’s awfully Politically IN-Correct. I have to confess, I’ve used that term many times in the past because it is highly charged, and highly relevant. Back in the day, there wasn’t much to choose from if you wanted to get this part of your life called “dating” taken care of. There was a program using NLP techniques to “hypnotize” women by Ross Jeffries*, and a few old books from the 70s and 80s, but no one had seemed to pull things together in a way that made sense, or that a guy could use as a method to get women on a regular basis. Back when I was searching for stuff to read on this topic, I went through just about every dating self-help book there was. But there wasn’t anything that told me how to attract women the way the real “players” did. I got frustrated. BIG TIME frustrated. With every date that I went on that SUCKED, I became more and more convinced that there was some secret set of strategies that guys were using that I wasn’t aware of. I got a little obsessed with finding the answer... * I respect Ross and his contributions to this field. I simply do not use his techniques.
© 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions, LLC.
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www.CarlosXuma.com Then, somewhere in the mid-90s, a set of books came on the scene called Love Tactics. These small books took a slightly religious angle on the whole topic, but they also pointed out something that I had never really figured out on my own before. Simply put: Attraction is not LOGICAL.
And you can never BORE a woman into being interested in you.
You can argue until you’re blue in the face, but you’ll never be able to talk a woman into liking you...
It’s just like sales... We hate to be sold, but we LOVE to buy.
It won’t happen.
Or dating you... Or sleeping with you... Or being devoted and faithful to you.
But we guys like to think that we can talk women into this, don’t we? Oh, yeah, we do. We try to do it all the time. !We try it with bragging... !We try it with “romantic gestures...” !We try it by “telling her our feelings...” But I digress... This whole concept of attraction being something that we don’t control with our conscious and rational minds made me stop dead in my tracks and really look at how I was approaching this whole thing. I decided right then and there to stop thinking with my logical mind and start figuring out WHAT WORKS. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions, LLC.
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www.CarlosXuma.com After all, I can cry about how I get wet when I go out in the rain, but it will never change the reality that RAIN GETS ME WET. As soon as I can accept the rules (i.e., reality), I can then get moving on how to beat the game. (And this goes for you, too.)
Reality has teeth, and it will bite you on the ass if you ignore it.
So just like Keith, I went and read everything I could find. (But this was WAY before you could find any seduction advice online.) As I worked on the principles, I even got good at making up my own techniques along the way. Here’s an example: I knew that if I pulled away from a woman that was already liking me, I could enhance the attraction she felt from her fear of loss. (It’s manipulative, but it does work. This is how many women use “hard-to-get.”) So one night I was on my way over to my girlfriend’s place and I decided I’d try something out. I called her from my cell phone and said, “Hey, it’s Carlos. I’m not going to be able to make it to dinner tonight...” (insert a slight pause here) “...Uh, until maybe a half-hour later. Got caught up with something. See you then...” Now what was I trying to do there? Well, two things. First, I was trying to “scare her” a little with saying I wasn’t going to be able to make it... then pausing so she thought I wouldn’t be able to make it at all. Then she’d feel relieved when she heard the next part that I was only going to be 30 minutes late. Second, I was trying to change the plans up and be a wee bit unpredictable.
© 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions, LLC.
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www.CarlosXuma.com This was all very artificial, and in the end I don’t think it made ANY difference to our dating relationship. Eventually, we broke up, as most relationships go.
What a man wants - just as much as sex - is the thought of having a highquality woman at his side...
But I think at the time using these tactics wasn’t really about HER as much as it was about improving my attitude and giving me the ability to push away from a woman. (I was pretty needy at this time.) I was actually teaching my brain how to stop relying on women and start relying on myself, in a funny way. Over the next few years I started figuring this out as I tried to improve my own skills by coming up with the whole mindset of this confident guy I saw out there having success with women. As I was putting my stuff together, other guys appeared out there like “David D.” and others with really cool sounding names, like “Mystery” and “Style.” I had no idea they were out there because I was doing my own thing. And after I got moving on this quest, I started developing my own techniques with women. I would play hard-to-get. I’d be aloof. I would tease women relentlessly. I would turn on Mr. Charming and Mr. Funny guy at will. I knocked ‘em dead. But it got OLD really quick. The women I met were fun, for a time, and then things inevitably faded out. What I wanted was a quality woman that I could put effort into and really focus on building a relationship. It sounds funny coming from a guy, but I got really tired of the women who were just looking for a good time. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions, LLC.
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www.CarlosXuma.com That’s when I decided that I needed to figure out the next part of this skill set, which is how to attract QUALITY women. The kind of woman I could keep around for a while. You see, when you get to a certain point, you realize that women are mostly wonderful, but they have a lot of inner game issues, too. They lack confidence. They don’t have their lives together. They can be a little crazy.
The single most important decision you will make in your life is the woman that you decide to make your long-term companion...
And the worst thing you can do to yourself is to take a loose cannon like that and let her into your life. The single most important decision you will make in your life is the woman that you decide to make your long-term companion. She’ll either make you... or break you faster than a thin, dry board in a karate class. You can chase all the drunk, barely-20something bar chicks you like. But you will burn out very soon if you share too much time with people who have no real direction, or who cannot add much value to your life. These people with no direction are simply waiting for you to LEAD them to something better. I’m not advocating using other people just to add to your own existence here. After all, it should be mutual. But there is a concept that I talk about called mutually beneficial selfishness. It means that you help yourself first so that you can be healthy enough in spirit to give back to others in the world. I’m going to share more about this attitude - and how to find the power to lead with confidence - with you in this book. But now you need to know... © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions, LLC.
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www.CarlosXuma.com How Your Reality Is Being Messed With - BIG Time. I want to share with you a question that one of my students sent me. This might help clarify a few things - or it might make you even more confused.
How do you stay confident, no matter what?
Maybe both, or maybe neither. But it will enlighten you. Read on... QUESTION FROM A READER: Carlos, I've had a lot of experiences walking up and talking with women. Some good, some bad. What I'm wondering is, how do I stay confident - no matter what? It seems like my mood and my skills are always up and down. Some nights I can walk up to any woman and say Hi, and other times I can't seem to make conversation with a blabbermouth. Have you ever had this experience? How do you keep your confidence up? - John C. Atlanta, GA. ______________________ CARLOS XUMA ANSWERS: Well, John, I'm here to tell you that what you're talking about is something that a LOT of guys go through. Their level of confidence goes up and down all the time, and it can be hard to maintain consistency. First of all, you have to recognize that there is the factor of © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions, LLC.
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www.CarlosXuma.com moods. You can't predict a bad mood, and you can't avoid them. Sometimes you just won't feel top-shelf. That's life. The other variable in this is something we call "confidence." It seems like sometimes you've got what you need, and other times you can't seem to get it together.
NEWSFLASH: There is no such thing as “confidence...”
But what really is "confidence"? Something I've come to figure out over the years is that confidence doesn't REALLY exist. That's right. There's actually no such thing as "confidence." Now, I know this may throw a lot of guys for a loop. I can hear you yelling at your computer: "What the #&$% is he talking about? Of course there's confidence. We all know it." Hang on for a second and allow me to explain a bit first... What many guys think of as "confidence" is really not a FEELING at all. Think back to the last time you did something and remember feeling confident about it. Maybe it was going up on a mountain and snowboarding. Maybe it was running a marathon. Maybe it was going up and talking to a woman. Whatever that event was where you felt this confidence, if you really let yourself go back in time in your head, and you think about what kind of experience you were going through right then, you'll realize that you weren't really FEELING anything at all. You were just DOING it. What we think of as "confidence" is really just the ABSENCE of our usual self-doubts, fear, and anxiety that we feel when we do © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions, LLC.
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www.CarlosXuma.com something unfamiliar. Let's say you're a snowboarder... Early on, when you haven't been snowboarding much, your head is full of all the static and chatter of your internal doubts. "You're going to fall on your face..."
Forget your fears and you instantly become confident... How could we have missed this?
"It's going to be difficult..." "You're going to spend the day sliding down on your ass..." "You're going to look dumb..." The more we DO that thing, the less we tell ourselves these negative messages, and the MORE we just forget that we ever had any doubts. I remember back when I first started snowboarding that I was a complete train wreck. But I kept going back and getting better and better, and the feeling of hesitation and doubt eventually disappeared. I really didn't get confident as much as I got rid of all that crap in my head. In fact, if you ask any top performer what they're feeling when they perform, they'll just tell you that they just get out there and DO IT. They're too busy experiencing it - not thinking about how confident they are, even though they look so darn confident doing what it is they do. But in the early part of learning something new, all that negative self-talk creates a lot of doubt and uncertainty in your head. And you know deep inside that if you could just get rid of that feeling, you'd feel CONFIDENT.
© 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions, LLC.
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www.CarlosXuma.com And THAT is what "confidence" actually is... The LACK of uncertainty, doubt, hesitation, fear, and worry that we push into our head. So when you ask me about how to get more consistent with your game, I want you to remember that you might not always be able to bring your A-game when it comes to talking with women.
Pickup techniques and lines are simply BORROWED confidence...
But if you just go in and DO it, you'll find that you will leave more and more of those negative thoughts and feelings behind, and the "static" will disappear. You'll think you're more confident, but you're really just not indulging in old destructive thought patterns. Pickup techniques and lines don't really boost your confidence. You just believe it will help you because of the last guy who used it successfully. (So they said). That's why I teach you how to win the inner game of confidence first, because women can smell how much you really believe what you're saying. Your confidence comes to you when you stop listening to all the chatter that tries to undermine your will and positive attitude. One step you can do right now to improve is to get in touch with your physical presence as a way of "grounding" your mind in the here and now. You see, a lot of guys live a very active mental life. This can be both good and bad. For most guys who are out there trying to work up the "confidence" to approach women and talk to women, it's very very BAD. The reason is that they are so up in their heads and caught in their own thoughts that they literally disconnect from their bodies. And when you stop being intimately "in your own skin," you start to exhibit some strange body language, and you lack that feeling of being THERE. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions, LLC.
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www.CarlosXuma.com It sounds a bit new-agey, but it's actually very practical. Every day, you should start off with a short meditation and a ritual of some kind. Here's a simple one you can do:
Find a ritual for yourself that starts your day YOUR way...
Just sit in a chair with your hands in your lap. Breathe in and out, 3 seconds to inhale, 6 seconds to exhale. With each breath, focus on being aware of your own body, with each limb. Work your way up and down your entire body, keeping your mind as calm and blank as possible. This exercise can be as short as just a minute or so, and then you can work your way to longer time periods. Your goal is to really feel yourself in the here-and-now rather than lose yourself in the "what ifs" that your anxious mind will throw you into. Remember, confidence comes not from thinking your way into it, but from NOT thinking your way. I’m going to share more secrets about confidence with you in a bit, but first, if this makes any sense to you, then you need to read the next section on...
© 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions, LLC.
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www.CarlosXuma.com 5 HUGE Mistakes Guys Make When Learning Attraction Skills There are actually probably MANY more than just five mistakes, but I chose to focus on the five that are probably hurting your dating and social skills the most.
There is nothing in the world like really being in the shoes of the guy who is talking to a woman and interacting on a very deep level of rapport...
The reason I’m telling you about them now is so that you can beware of the negative impact and avoid wasting time and money on lowyield methods. Let’s start with... MISTAKE NUMBER 1: Watching pickup videos and thinking this will help your game. There are a lot of “secret” videos and hyped up hidden camera videos you can find out there. They make a lot of interesting viewing, sort of like the television shows they’ve been putting on lately about pickup artists and “Keys to the VIP.” But here’s something to remember... There is nothing like the real event. What I mean by this is that you can watch secret hidden undercover videos of guys in bars all you like, but it won’t help your game at all. In fact, this can actually be downright devastating to your game. It can take your current competence and confidence and flush it down the toilet. Why? I mean, I really wish these videos did work. It would make my job so much easier just to go “in the field” and record myself meeting and talking with women.
© 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions, LLC.
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www.CarlosXuma.com In fact, I used to do this a lot. I recorded the audio and/or video of me interacting with women on hidden camera, and then show it to my students in the classroom. They were all impressed and many of them even said, “Oh, THAT’S how you do it.” But when they got out in the bars that night, they all complained of the exact same things:
The more you think about what you are doing, the less you seem like you’re actually THERE doing what you need to do...
•
They realized that when you watch someone interact with a woman that way you actually make it hard to focus, because now you are trying to remember a mental image of another completely different person doing what you’re trying to do. And they aren’t even remotely alike...
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No two interactions really ever go the same, so watching the video doesn’t help you tactically...
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When they saw me on camera doing the approach, they realized that they were really excited only because they were feeding on MY confidence. They got a huge confidence boost not because they learned anything, but because they were just seeing someone who didn’t have all the static in his head to pull them down...
•
You can watch ANYONE do something and think it’s easy, but when you are IN that experience, living it in real-time, it’s completely different. Everything changes.
Watching pickup videos doesn’t work for the simple reason that watching someone do something that requires fine-tuned attention and presence is nowhere near the same thing as being in that person’s shoes. You ever watch a professional athlete of some kind like a skier or a snowboarder, and you think, “I could do that. That looks easy.” Then you get to the top of a mountain on your board or your skis and peer over the edge at the slope below you, and your heart falls into your stomach. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions, LLC.
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www.CarlosXuma.com You start sliding down, and as you carve into your first turn, you realize this is NOTHING like how the guy on the video looked. Or you watch a cooking show, and you see the chef do something that doesn’t require any physical expertise - it’s just putting food together. But when you try the SAME recipe, it just doesn’t taste quite right.
I gotta be ME... And you gotta be YOU.
As they say in NLP, the map is not the same as the terrain. MISTAKE NUMBER 2: Learning and rehearsing material that is not true or authentic to YOU. There’s a little concept I call the “Gap,” and it goes like this: A lot of guys learn about techniques they can use to “pickup” on women. (Pickup is really just the masculine version of the word “flirt.” But beware: The word “pickup” has a lot of negative baggage on it. Women do not respond favorably to the term.) Like walking up to a woman and asking for her opinion on something, like, “Hey, I need a woman’s perspective on this. My friend thinks his girlfriend might be cheating on him. How would he be able to find out for sure?” That gets you into a conversation under the pretense of just wanting her opinion. The problem is that women everywhere know how this works, and they’ll call you on it. They’ll say: “Are you trying some of that pickup stuff on us?” or © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions, LLC.
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www.CarlosXuma.com “Are you some kind of pickup artist or something?” If you’ve ever had it happen to you, then you know what a socially awkward moment this can be - and how completely embarrassing it is. And even if you have enough “game” or routines or stories to use, and clever banter you’ve memorized, the time comes in the conversation when you realize that you’re about to run dry.
Ever been caught using a line?
When something unexpected comes up in the conversation, you also sense that you just aren’t all that prepared, and you feel kind of hollow. Like a sham. A fake. An impostor. And you feel the gap between who you REALLY are and your clever pickup persona that you made up. This gap is something that a lot of guys discover, and they realize that they need to bring their real personalities closer to this “persona” they created so they can walk up and talk to women. Let me be very clear here:
If you do not make your dating and attraction skills a part of your LIFE and lifestyle, you will always feel the Gap, and you will always feel a little fake inside. Eventually, it will catch up to you. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions, LLC.
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www.CarlosXuma.com I have coached many guys that have been in denial into their 40s and 50s as to what was true to them. You’d think that by a certain age we would have this thing figured out, wouldn’t you? Nope. The longer you wait, the harder it gets. Set the right foundation NOW.
Jack of all trades, master of... NOTHING.
MISTAKE NUMBER 3: Trying to do too much, and not getting good at anything. In my field, I talk to a LOT of guys about this area of selfdevelopment, and it’s interesting to talk to guys who have been at different points along this journey of getting better with women. Some have just begun, and they’re like a kid in the candy store with all these techniques and things to learn. It’s like they just woke up in the best gadget store in the world with a blank check. But that’s part of the problem. You see, way back in the early days, when there were no good game consoles out there and PCs were the way to go, I was a hardcore gamer. I used to play the hell out of “Quake” and “Unreal” and a bunch of other great games that have evolved and had sequels over the years. (Anybody remember “Duke Nukem”?) I even designed levels for them and released them on the Internet in the 90s. It was addicting, and damn fun. I also had a job at a software store where I got all the latest games to try out for free. I was in heaven. Well, I was in heaven for a few weeks, and then I realized that I had a few problems with this “blank check” of free games...
© 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions, LLC.
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www.CarlosXuma.com 1) I was getting a lot of cool games, but not having any time to play all of them. 2) The games I liked and spent my time on, I would never finish. After all, when I was bored with it, or ran into a challenging obstacle, there was something new to try. I got addicted to the novelty, and I never finished anything I started.
You are desperately seeking the right CHALLENGE for your life...
3) I was getting more and more bored with the games I got, because none of them had any value to me. So when you see a movie where the guy gets all his wishes, and he’s still bored and unhappy, that’s about the truth of it. Yeah, you might say, “That would never be ME, man... I’d have fun and I’d do this, and I’d do that...” but the reality is that if you won the lottery tomorrow, chances are you’d be broke in just a few years. And if you weren’t broke, you’d be just as bored and unfulfilled. Why? Because we need to be CHALLENGED. We need something in our lives that drives us to a higher purpose. Once your basic needs are taken care of, your free time is usually spent thinking about all the things you still don’t have. This is the source of the saying: “Idle hands are the devil’s playground.” What has this got to do with dating skills? Well, first of all, even if you had MASSIVE skills with women, you’d still have your own life to deal with. Ask any “guru” out there (or just listen to my interview program where they tell you straight from the source) and he’ll tell you that the one thing they realized was that after they got good with women, they still had all the problems and challenges of their lives to deal with. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions, LLC.
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www.CarlosXuma.com Your life doesn’t miraculously change from getting this one area handled. It’s not the “getting good with women” that’s the goal in this ‘game.’ It’s the “who you become to get good with women” that makes you an Alpha Man.
“That dude’s got BALLS, man...” They could be saying that about YOU.
My second point about this is that you could read every ebook and listen to every CD and watch every DVD on this topic, and you wouldn’t be ANY better with women... Until you go out and use the information to improve yourself, build the character, and cultivate the skills you need. LIVE and “In-the-field,” as we say. It’s the only way. Don’t wind up being a “jack of all trades, master of nothing.” Don’t be the guy sitting at home all night, writing up questions for every guru to answer. (I get guys who field their questions to me and multiple others in the hopes of finding some contradiction or God knows what.) Be the guy with the huge balls of steel that just goes out there and gets better by DOING it. We all know who’s playing the game and who is just sitting on the sidelines, studying plays, and waiting for the “perfect opportunity” to jump in the game. MISTAKE NUMBER 4: Going after the wrong goal. Yet another problem I’ve seen with guys is that they learn about this field of dating advice/seduction/attraction skills and they channel all their energy into conquering it.
© 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions, LLC.
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www.CarlosXuma.com Well, that’s nice and all, but your goal is not a WOMAN. Your goal is the lifestyle that makes you happy, and pulls women into it, like a tornado. When you chase a woman as your goal, you’re setting yourself up for the biggest disappointment in the world. Especially when you realize that no human being can live up to the ideals we set in our mind.
You are responsible for your own mental state. No one makes you feel anything you don’t want to.
People don’t make us happy. We make ourselves happy. Don’t believe me? Ask any guy who has chosen a sub-standard woman for his girlfriend - or wife - and had to learn from the mistake. The REAL prize, the one you can’t see too clearly because that bright light emanating from her crotch is blinding you, the genuine goal that we’re after here is to become a fully actualized MAN. And the biggest ecstasy you can experience (in contrast to the previous disappointment) is when you’ve forged your own lifestyle and your own Alpha Power into a force to be reckoned with. I have to admit, sometimes when I wake up in the morning and try not to jump out of bed to get working, I have to pinch myself to realize that I actually teach guys the complete game plan and system for creating this lifestyle. I am truly blessed. MISTAKE NUMBER 5: Not paying attention to the BIG picture. Let’s face facts: Human beings are sexual beings. If you are still unclear on this fact of our nature, or you are still uncomfortable with it due to the programming you might have received as a kid, then you may need to seek a little professional assistance to clear that out of your head. I don’t want to stomp on your beliefs, but let’s face facts here - some beliefs are faulty, repressive, and do not serve you. It’s your job to get
© 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions, LLC.
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www.CarlosXuma.com rid of these bad beliefs because they will determine the outcome of your life. Let me say that again: Your faulty beliefs will hold you back from the success you desire - and deserve - from life.
“I choose to believe in the things that make life WORK for me.”
Remember, beliefs are beliefs because they are NOT facts. Facts are clear cut and established. There’s no debate. But beliefs are called beliefs because they are not set in stone, and every person has a different set. And we all treat our beliefs as if they are set in stone, don’t we? I’ve found that a great many of those beliefs try to hide as guilt and other kinds of disabling emotions that were programmed into you by certain institutions to make you conform and not pose a threat to others. Yes, I realize that this sounds a bit paranoid and conspiracy-theory, but it really is true. Most of the structure of society and the world is this way to establish a pecking order. But I’m not here to go off on a political rant. I just want you to understand just how everyone is looking out through a set of filters and lenses ... and some people have a really bad prescription. What I’m driving at here is that you are a sexual being. You are a man. You like sex. And there’s nothing at all wrong with wanting and getting that sex. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions, LLC.
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www.CarlosXuma.com (As long as you harm no one else in the process. As the Hypocratic oath goes, first - do no harm.) The problem comes when your sex drive is not channeled correctly. You see a lot of guys go through life chasing one thing... Pussy.
You’ve got a destiny ahead of you...
Sorry to be crude about this, and if that offended you, perhaps you should read another ebook about fluffy animals and happy rainbows. I’m here to shoot straight and tell you what you need to hear. It’s what my dad did for me, and I feel obligated to do the same for others.
Do you know what it is? Are you even looking for it?
And remember, when someone is offended at something, it’s not the something that offended them. They offended themselves. So back to what I was saying... Many guys just chase women their whole lives and realize all too late that they should have been channeling this unbelievable force of the male sex drive into something more creative so that they could live out their own destiny. You see I believe that every man has a mission to accomplish here on this earth. It’s a guy thing. Yes, there are women who have this same drive, but it’s not the same as a man’s. We men MUST create a legacy for ourselves. If we don’t, we die a little inside every day we ignore that need. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions, LLC.
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www.CarlosXuma.com And, ironically, you can’t have the kind of relationship or give the kind of life you could give to a woman if you don’t pursue this destiny. It doesn’t mean you quit your job, or you go sailing around the world on some merchant steamer to seek your fortune. In fact, if you’ve ever read the classic essay “Acres of Diamonds,” you know that your hidden treasure is right there inside you right now.
What if every guy out there was a genius, but he never found his talent? What a waste that would be.
(I give every one of my students a copy of this essay as part of your Advanced Coaching program. If you didn’t get yours, please email me. It’s required reading for any Alpha Man.) If you don’t know what your mission or your destiny is in life, then your only job is to START SEARCHING. That’s it. Just get on a path to start investigating the possibilities. A good friend of mine, Zan Perrinon, said to me at a conference: “What if every single guy out there has this hidden genius in him like a Mozart or an Einstein? What if EVERYONE has this, and we all die without finding it?” I believe that this is true. I think we all DO have some hidden talent in us that we have only to discover. And the only way to find it is to keep trying things and find out what clicks. But if you chase women to the exclusion of all else, you’ll end up with a life that is wildly out of balance. If you chase your goals with the same fervor and energy, and learn how to creatively channel your sexual energy for this as well, you’ll achieve success that is uncommon in most people’s lives. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions, LLC.
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www.CarlosXuma.com That’s what I do, and that’s what I teach men how to do. And the funny (or not so funny) part of this is that if you pursue your own dreams, your own goals, your own destiny... women will want to come along for the ride. There is NOTHING more sexy to a woman than a man with ambition and drive.
© 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions, LLC.
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www.CarlosXuma.com The THINK Barrier There’s a little-known concept that I want to acquaint you with. It’s called the Think Barrier. Have you ever given someone a task to do, maybe a co-worker or friend, and it seemed pretty straightforward to you, but they couldn’t seem to just take the task and RUN with it?
It’s the most tired cliche´ but you need to... JUST DO IT
Maybe you asked them to go get a coworker of yours to join you in a meeting, or go buy something for you from the store. Whatever it was, you asked them, and you did NOT hear them say: “No problem. Be right back.” Nor did they just go out and DO IT. Instead, you got this: “Uh, who do you want me to find?” “Where should I go?” “What if they don’t want to come?” “How do you spell his name?” “Do you really need me to do it now?” You probably would get a million and one variations, but not this one: “Yes, no problem. Be right back.” And then 5 minutes later they show up with the person you wanted. No initiative, and no ability to act on their own. In almost every single seminar where a guy has come up to me and asked me what to say to a woman in a particular situation, I will always test them by asking them: “Given what you know about how
© 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions, LLC.
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www.CarlosXuma.com attraction works, and all the examples I give you in my ebooks, CDs, and DVDs, what do YOU think you should say?” There’s a long uncomfortable moment there where the person often realizes that what I’m asking them is just to THINK for themselves and really burn some brain fuel.
“But Carlos, you say I have to be a better MAN...? “I have to deserve what I want? “That’s too hard! Just give me a pickup line instead...”
The guys that are willing to pull out a piece of paper and THINK through their response inevitably are the guys who excel and improve their skills MASSIVELY. The guys who go into a severe state of mental constipation and just beg me to tell them what to say almost NEVER get it. I realized that these latter guys are also the men who have never really been challenged or pushed to think deeply into anything their whole lives. Probably one or both of their parents was overcontrolling, or did everything for them when they were kids. As a result, they never learned the process of really pushing their brain into a higher gear. I see parents at the Martial Arts studio I teach at do this all the time. They tell their kids what to say and what to do. Their moms even take off their shoes for them. I know that these kids will never be challenged to really perform for themselves. Their future is being set right before my eyes. This concept is what I call the “Think Barrier.” How far will you go to avoid the nasty work of thinking? You’d be AMAZED at how much work people do just to avoid thinking for themselves. Let me tell you something:
© 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions, LLC.
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www.CarlosXuma.com No one will be there to give you the authenticity to respond correctly when a woman asks you a question you weren’t prepared for. It will have to come from YOU. No one will be there for you when you have to think of something to say to a woman on a date. YOU will have to find your words and use them.
Mommy and daddy are not going to help you anymore. The world belongs to the man that helps himself.
No one will be there to talk you up or pump you up when it comes time to approach a woman that you’re dying to meet. YOU will have to find your own motivation and overcome your own fears. Mommy and Daddy are not going to be there to tie your shoelaces on this one. Hell, even *I* can’t be there for you, as much as I’d like to be. Now you know why I show guys how to create their own openers, their own stories, their own confidence, their own motivation, and their own excitement for life. Some guys will give you a fish (a technique), where I teach you HOW to fish (the Alpha Attitude) so that you never need to be hungry again. This path is personal, genuine, and REAL for you. You can’t learn how to be a powerfully attractive YOU when you’re focused on learning someone else’s scripted conversation. And when you learn how to use the strategies for building attraction, they have devastating and powerful impact on the women you will meet. And when you learn how to use these techniques on everyone to motivate yourself toward an Alpha Lifestyle, you’ll learn just what you’re capable of in every facet of your life. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions, LLC.
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www.CarlosXuma.com I have a feeling you’re starting to nod your head more and more at what you’re reading here. Good. I’ve still got more to show you. Let’s move on to the...
© 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions, LLC.
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www.CarlosXuma.com Signs That Pickup Really is Dead Sign #1) Women already know what the game is, and all about the clever tricks. Remember at the start of this document when I talked about Neil Strauss’ book, The Game?
The times, they are achanging.
It’s a fun read, and a lot of guys got into this area of selfdevelopment purely because they read that one book. Sure, it’s about 20% techniques, and about 80% drama, but it’s a nice read. But now the time of the pickup artist is coming to a close. Women everywhere have read this same book, and they know what the “Game” is all about. They know how to smell a pickup “game” even before you have time to ask “Ladies, who do you think lies more, men or women?” They can see anything you use before you use it. Except one thing - and it’s what they desperately need to see. And it’s the one thing you need to know about. I’ll tell you in a couple pages... Yes, you can blame the media or Neil’s book, but the reality is that women know what you’re up to. The only man that stands a CHANCE of getting past a woman’s defensive shields is the one that knows how to fly under her radar. You’re not doing this to trick her, either. That’s a big difference between using “seduction” skills and what I call “Alpha Attraction” skills. Seduction is for the chump who is trying to get without giving.
© 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions, LLC.
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www.CarlosXuma.com Alpha Attraction is about creating a win-win situation for both of you. Where your woman isn’t a one-hit wonder. Imagine the life where women call you back, my friend. Sign #2: Television has ruined “pickup” even more for you.
Okay, here’s the REAL secret to attracting women...
When something is broadcast on television, you can bet that every woman will know about it within a week or two. One of her friends catches “The Pickup Artist” on television, and the next second she’s on the phone talking to 10 of her girlfriends. “You gotta see this!” In a matter of just a few weeks, every woman in the United States (and probably the world) knows about it. And they’re talking about it. There are several shows on television that are capitalizing on the whole “pickup” scene, and the games that are played. Women know about them all - and this is GOOD because it will make it easier for you to separate yourself from the clones. Sign #3: All the other Gurus are suddenly talking about being more “3-dimensional”... It’s funny, and I’m not just trying to pat myself on the back here, but a lot of the other teachers out there in the “pickup community” are now starting to realize what I’ve been saying all along: You can’t live on pickup lines alone. In order for a man to really come into his own and be all he can be, he has to eventually settle on his own style, his own genuine attraction strengths, and then maximize them. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions, LLC.
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www.CarlosXuma.com If I could sum up what women want in one quick sentence, it’s that they want you to be YOU better than anybody else could be YOU. That’s what they REALLY mean when they say “just be yourself.” They’re not saying, “Just be the weakest, most timid version of yourself.” Nor are they saying, “Be all the parts of you that are not very attractive to women on the surface.”
“If I could just act like I’m sincere, I’d have this whole dating thing figured out...”
They’re telling you to be a potent POWERHOUSE version of you that is not looking for a woman’s approval. The simple fact is that a woman needs a man who doesn’t NEED her. Remember when I told you that Keith had found something that took his game to the next level? Well here it is... The hidden element that guys miss is this, and only this:
SINCERITY It can’t be faked. And it can only make you look and feel more authentic and genuine. In sales, one of the most powerful concepts is to tell the customer the Truth, even if it might be a little embarrassing. It’s all in how you frame this Truth. You see, today we’re all much better educated consumers. We’re much more sophisticated after being bombarded with constant ads and commercials. You know when someone’s trying to sell you something. Hey, I’ll admit it right now - I’m trying to sell you on a new point of view, and the possibility that I can help you grow and achieve your goals as a man. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions, LLC.
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www.CarlosXuma.com And if there’s one thing that we HATE, it’s someone trying to sell us something with a blatant, stupid, used-car-salesman sales pitch. Have you ever gotten a phone call, somewhere around dinner time, and you answer it, and you hear that pause before someone in a way-too-cheery voice says, “Mr. So-and-so? I want to tell you about a fantastic bargain we’re having over here at ---”
It’s all just like sales, except not like the sales you and I hate.
CLICK. But if someone walks up to us and says, “You know what, I’m not going to bore you with a stupid sales pitch here. I just want to tell you that I’ve got some really nice speakers at a good discount at my store because I was dumb and ordered way too many. If you really like quality home audio, you might want to come and give ‘em a listen. That’s it. Sorry to interrupt you.” I’m probably going to think a little more about this offer than the guy that tries to be clever and slip me a flyer as I’m walking by. The Best Homeless Sales-person I Ever Met: One night after coming home from a speaking engagement, my girlfriend and I decided to indulge in a little Kentucky Fried Chicken. (I confess to being a total chicken-skin addict. I love that original recipe...) Anyway, we’re walking into the KFC when a woman walks up to us. Now in this area of town, I’m expecting the usual homeless pitch. (Sorry if that sounds a bit cold, but that’s what happens when you’re hit with the same thing over and over. You start to tune out a bit. A lot like attractive women get hit with the same “You’re so beautiful” crap from guys.) Instead of saying, “Hey, can you spare some change?”, this woman said:
© 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions, LLC.
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www.CarlosXuma.com “I’m sorry to bother you, and I’m not going to ask you for any money. I am very hungry. I’m living in the park over there. Would you mind just getting me some food? I’d really appreciate it.” I stopped for a second and nodded to her. “Sure. We’ll get you something.” She came in with us and I bought her a meal.
Do you trust anyone?
She reached me with a level of trust that I could appreciate.
Can they trust you?
Trader Joe’s Trust: I shop at a place called Trader Joe’s for my groceries. It’s one of those organic food places that keeps things healthy and cheaper because you’re not paying for expensive brand advertising. When I get to the register, they inevitably ask me for my zip code as I’m checking out. Now, obviously this is so they can gather a little demographic data about their customers. Normally, I refuse to disclose this information. I don’t think I need to reveal any more to the corporations out there looking to peer into my private life. But when I get to the counter at Trader Joe’s, I give it to them. Why? Because I TRUST them. I know that their intentions are much more honorable, and I think that they will not abuse the information. I have no way of knowing this for sure, but I feel more trusting telling Trader Joe’s my zip code than, say, Safeway or some other big supermarket chain. What’s my point here?
© 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions, LLC.
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www.CarlosXuma.com When you hear the saying: “Honesty is the best policy,” what they really mean is be sincere and straightforward. Don’t blast someone with awkward and socially mis-calibrated information. Just be on the level. It’s all about the sincerity. Sincerity, sincerity, SINCERITY...
One pickup line that works without fail...
This approach works wonders with women, too. When a woman feels that she’s with someone who’s sincere and trustable, she will open up and lower her defenses. She will feel something that she rarely does from guys in top hats with painted nails.
TRUST One of the things I like to say (and you’ll hear about in my programs) when I walk up and talk to a woman is this: “Hey, I don’t have a clever pickup line. I just wanted to meet you. My name is Carlos...” That one never fails to get a woman to open up and talk to me. Try it. If you say it from the heart, women will listen and open up to you.
© 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions, LLC.
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www.CarlosXuma.com 4 Questions to Ask Yourself About The Quality Of Your Dating Advice I’m going to save you a lot of pain and wasted time and money. I’m going to point out all the things you should watch for when you’re deciding on jumping into a program to develop your dating and attraction skills with women.
Bars & Clubs are a tiny slice of the social world in which to meet women. And you need better skills for the REAL world.
QUESTION #1) Is it realistic advice, or routines and techniques with no depth? If you are trying to improve your skills with women, techniques are a very small piece of the big picture. Most “routines” are also only made for the bar and club environment. I’ve never met a girl I wanted to date in a bar or club. In fact, it’s the exception for most men. Play the odds, not the longshot. (Most guys go to bars because they assume this is the only place where women WANT to be picked up on.) It’s just like starting a jigsaw puzzle. If you just grab any random piece and start trying to build the puzzle, it will be really tough. Instead, you start with one of the edge or corner pieces and you work your way in. Solid inner game skills and lifestyle techniques are just like those edge pieces in a puzzle. They give you a much bigger context with which to build the Big Picture. When I say “Lifestyle Techniques,” what I’m really talking about are things you can do RIGHT NOW to improve the overall quality of your attitude, your goals, your relationships, and your LIFE.
© 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions, LLC.
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www.CarlosXuma.com Just like outer game techniques, inner game techniques like those I teach have the added benefit of improving you as a complete man instead of just addressing one small detail.
QUESTION #2) Authenticity - Is this material true to YOUR Personality?
Get 100% behind yourself. It’s the best long-term strategy to success there is.
Here’s a big one that most guys overlook. They get a book of routines or some clever “cocky and funny” lines, and they sound great if you were imagining someone else delivering them, but they would feel really weird if you said them. Instead of regurgitating someone else’s material, you need a style that you can adapt and adopt to your individual style, such as my REAL Game™. You can take just about any opener and use it to start a conversation with a woman or group of women fairly easily, but it’s what comes after that opener that will make or break you. And that’s where a woman will make her decision. Choose a technique or style that matches your personality, and your core values. If you’re not aligned with what you’re saying, it feels weird to other people. It would be like me talking with a real wishy-washy tone right now. I just kinda think you should sorta think about being a bit more confident with ladies. Well, maybe. I guess... You see what I mean? It doesn’t match the tone of what I’m saying, so you immediately distrust it. This is called “incongruence.” And if you don’t feel 100% behind the words you’re using, you’ll also come across the same way as using weak words, like you don’t match your message. Stay close to your identity and you won’t fall into the Gap. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions, LLC.
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www.CarlosXuma.com QUESTION #3) Is the teacher or “guru” someone you can respect and trust? I really believe that you can learn from anyone, but you’ll also learn the most - and the fastest - from someone who has a solid core of character and integrity.
Learn only from the man doing what it is you want to do... with the character and virtues of a man you wish to become.
I’ve met a lot of teachers and mentors in my time, and the one thing that has always been true is that if that person isn’t living the life you want to lead, why the hell would you listen to them? My old sales mentor used to say, “Why would I take financial advice from a caffeine-addicted stockbroker that’s flat broke? I learn how to make money from the guys with a big PILE of it, and who are doing it with good in their heart. Those are the people I listen to.” I really believe that there’s a certain level of peace and balance that guys want to acquire in their lives, too. The peace of knowing that you’re not going to have problems finding another girlfriend if this relationship doesn’t work out. Or that you have the relationship and communication skills to make it work if you want. Those are OPTIONS - and the man with the most options tends to be the one to come out ahead in every situation. QUESTION #4) Are you learning a complete Lifestyle? Or are you just going to learn a very small skill set? The fact of the matter is that dating and attraction skills are a META-skill. What does this mean?
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www.CarlosXuma.com It means that your ability to attract women is not just one skill, but MANY different skills that add up to an overall VIBE of attraction that makes a woman stand up and pay attention to you.
Things like your family relationships, your social network, your career path, your self-development, your financial success, etc., these are all the power sources for a healthy man. When you add all these areas up, they converge to create a man with a powerful Alpha Lifestyle. It’s like the difference between an electric car and one that’s powered by a 12-cylinder engine. You ever stand near a power plant and hear the buzzing of the power in the transformers and power lines? You can practically feel the hairs on your arms prickle from the sheer energy at work. Billions and billions of volts and amperes of electricity ready to be unleashed. Guess what? That’s what a woman feels around a guy who’s got the whole picture. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions, LLC.
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www.CarlosXuma.com A 2-dimensional picture is a cartoon. Like a Bugs Bunny show. This is the man with just veneer and “game.” A 3-dimensional picture is more realistic. Like a Pixar movie that feels like it’s got depth. This is a man with skills AND the authenticity.
You want to blow all the other guys away?
And an Alpha Man with the added fourth dimension of Alpha Lifestyle powering his game is like being in a simulator or on a holo-deck of the Enterprise, interacting on a whole new level. Which one do you think gets the girl? ______________________
Leave them in the dust? Add on a dimension of reality and authenticity to yourself that sings to a woman’s SOUL...
So now you’re ready for a new piece of equipment on this grand journey. I call it a Life Compass. Wouldn’t it be great if you could just stop at any time and pull out a little compass that would point you to your next destination? Well, I’ve got something close...
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www.CarlosXuma.com 4 Ways to Get Your Life On Track So you’ve tried the road of the “pickup artist” or the “seducer...” Or ... maybe you haven’t, but you’re still looking for an answer. Well let me help get you started on the most important part of the house that is your life: The foundation. If you’ve ever seen where a new skyscraper is being built, you’ll notice something very interesting. The early part of construction is to dig a hole down REALLY deep.
Go higher by going d e e p e r . . .
Why do they do this? Because the higher they are going to build the building, the deeper the foundation it needs to support it. The same thing is true of your life. In order for you to reach the peak of your abilities and the destiny you were put here for, the stronger a foundation you will need to support it all. I’m going to share with you four critical points on your Life Compass. Of course, there are many more around the dial, but these will get your life on the best track to success in this quest. LIFE COMPASS POINT 1) Recognize Opportunity Cost... Life is full of choices. We live in a world of plenty, but somehow there are still plenty of people at this banquet that are starving to death. Really and metaphorically speaking. You have to realize that you cannot “do it all.” No matter what the media and television shows try to make you believe (most of which is not even remotely accurate to a balanced and healthy life), you only have the “bandwidth” to do a certain number of things well in your life at one time. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions, LLC.
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www.CarlosXuma.com To do one, you must be willing to NOT do another. I fought this for years, trying to do everything that I wanted to in life. I wanted to play guitar in a band, compose music, have a career, meet women and party several nights a week, read a lot of books, etc.
FOCUS intently on the things that are important to you.
Now, you can get a lot accomplished in a well planned lifestyle, but you can’t do everything. And the more you try to “multi-task” in life, the more likely you are to totally screw up your life. Read this transcription from Linda Stone’s speech on this topic of “continuous partial attention:” In 1997 I coined the phrase "continuous partial attention". For almost two decades, continuous partial attention has been a way of life to cope and keep up with responsibilities and relationships. We've stretched our attention bandwidth to upper limits. We think that if tech has a lot of bandwidth then we do, too. With continuous partial attention we keep the top level item in focus and scan the periphery in case something more important emerges. Continuous partial attention is motivated by a desire not to miss opportunities. We want to ensure our place as a live node on the network, we feel alive when we're connected. To be busy and to be connected is to be alive. We've been working to maximize opportunities and contacts in our life. So much social networking, so little time. Speed, agility, and connectivity at top of mind. Marketers humming that tune for two decades now. Now we're over-stimulated, over-wound, unfulfilled.
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www.CarlosXuma.com More and more people feel this way, unfortunately. It’s become the norm for many of us. We try to do too many things and wind up getting none of them done very well. We’re drowning in mediocrity. What if someone could show you a way to find the right things to pay attention to so that you don’t wind up at the end of your life regretting all the things you didn’t do...?
You live in a world of plenty. There are over 41 MILLION unmarried women under the age of 45. Get busy.
LIFE COMPASS POINT 2) Think from abundance... It’s time to stop starving. There’s a saying that those who are hungry never get enough, while those who are full get plenty. There’s a lot of truth to that. Read this question from a reader. It will explain this mindset and how to start thinking from abundance rather than scarcity... ______________________ QUESTION FROM A READER: I totally believe in the concepts and basic principles you have put forth but it boils down to this: Yes, things come to the people who don't expect them or need them but in order to give of that vibe you truly must be in that "zone" truthfully. I have not dated or gotten laid in the past seven years, I am being mindful when I approach women and get numbers to be cool laid back relaxed, in control like any Alpha Man would. But.... the problem is as we all know women have built in radars that can detect things in men. For example: Guys who are in relationships get hit on by women more than guys who are single for some reason.
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www.CarlosXuma.com So how can I be in the zone of not being hungry when I truly am starving? My approach doesn't come as needy but there must be a "X" factor or something that maybe women are sensing? Because I call them once and never hear from them again, not even a first date at all, but at the time them are giving me the initial indicators of interest and attraction.
You’ll never stop being who you truly are.
How do you control your hunger when in reality you haven't had a girlfriend or gotten laid in over seven years - or ever? Yes, neediness drives women away, but how do you mask it or control it and appear not hungry when in reality you are truly truly famished? ______________________ CARLOS XUMA ANSWERS: This is a great question, because it speaks to the heart of what I teach. First of all, remember that the problem is not that you've not gotten laid in seven years. That's a symptom, not the actual disease. Mistaking it for the real problem is what distracts most guys. The secret is really to NOT pretend that you’re not hungry. We all know that’s impossible. Women DO sense this and they WILL avoid men with that rabid scent of "gotta get laid" just as much as men avoid the women with that rabid scent of "gotta get married." But just because you’re hungry doesn’t mean you can only have ONE kind of food. Wouldn’t it be nuts to hear this interaction: “I’m starving to death! I haven’t had a bite to eat in 3 days!” “Well, here, have some of my chicken sandwich.” “Oh... Sorry, I only eat Pizza. Do you have any pizza? I gotta have some pizza!” © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions, LLC.
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www.CarlosXuma.com That would seem ridiculous, right? But the same thing applies to women. If you’re starving for sex, you’re not really looking at the big picture. You’ve just become a slave to your own genitals.
Feed yourself by giving yourself a chance to taste every part of your life.
You can “feed” this hunger by using your sex drive to push you into new experiences in life, such as widening your social circle, trying a new way to meet women (such as the “multiple streams of female income” that I teach guys to leverage.) Saying that you can only get fulfillment by getting a woman in your life is narrow focused. If you find the things in life that REALLY fulfill you, women will realize that your hunger is not going to consume THEM. You see, every woman knows that behind a man starving for sex is a guy who hasn’t found his calling, or his Alpha Manhood. And she will not be able to trust him. But if he’s learned the secret of finding his nutrition in many areas, she’ll know he’s stable and trustworthy. A man's sex drive is one of the most powerful forces in the universe. Channeling that drive into other areas of your life will absolutely help you get rid of that "hungry vibe." If you’re a Hungry Guy - and we all have been at some point - the answer isn’t in chasing after women as the only path to your satisfaction. The answer is completing your life so that when you’re standing there talking with a woman, you could have a dozen things you could be doing at that moment that are just as cool as talking to her.
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www.CarlosXuma.com THAT is when women will really take notice of you. Because what you’re feeling is not really "hunger." It's ENERGY that you have not tapped into in the right ways to move you forward in the other areas of your life that you've been neglecting.
Get away from the people who do not help you become who you want to be. Those who would discourage you from your dreams are the ones that have already given up on their own.
When you hold this energy in, you'll get emotionally constipated, which is part of that "X factor" you mentioned in your letter. Unfocused light is useless. But focus that light into one coherent beam and you have a laser capable of cutting steel. Let your energy out and push you toward feeding your desires with other achievements than women. And I can guarantee you that the women will want to come along for that ride... LIFE COMPASS 3) Change Your Environment Here’s a little-known reality that most people forget - or completely ignore. You are a product of your environment. All the life experiences you absorbed from your family, your friends, your upbringing, your schooling, etc., created who you are today. If we were to go back in time and change a few of these elements, there’s a high probability that you wouldn’t be ANYTHING like who you are right now. Your environment is STILL impacting who you are to this day. The part that most people don’t understand is that we can choose our environment in life when we become adults, and it’s up to us to determine which one we will be a part of.
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www.CarlosXuma.com If you’re hanging around with friends who hold you back, or enable your tendency to be lazy, or to not change, or just generally do not challenge you to grow, you are going to stagnate and wither. In order to become the Alpha Man you are capable of creating, you must be exposed to people who challenge you and who are everything you want to become.
Be careful of associating pain with the possibility of learning a new and better way of living...
This is a big problem for a lot of people who don’t like the discomfort of being around people who are achieving more and are living a higher quality of life. But it’s this same exposure to positive influences that will put you on a winning track toward the things in life that will make you a winner. Non-winning sucks. Avoid it at all costs. Remember, winning IS everything. Winning in your personal life, your spiritual life, your family life, your financial life, your career... Not winning at the expense of others, because that is a dated concept. Winning so that others can win with you. If you want to change and grow and get better with women and life - the Alpha Lifestyle - you must surround yourself with the environment that will enable you - not hold you back. Change your environment and you change your life.
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www.CarlosXuma.com LIFE COMPASS 4) Build your Social Skills... Social awareness is not always “natural” or automatic. I wish it were, but it usually isn’t. I grew up severely socially retarded. I mean that in a realistic way. I could see what was going on, but I had no tools or techniques to help me get through weird or difficult social situations. I learned the same way most people did: Trial and error. And error. And error. And a lot more error. Unfortunately, some social skills MUST be learned through making the mistakes. No one can short-cut you past all of them. You learn sometimes from feeling the pain. The problem is that we learned our social responses and skills from people with certain agendas and goals that were not always wellmeaning. People play games with us. It’s a fact. It’s something I devoted a whole program to so that guys could learn all the social skills for managing other people in your life manipulate you with games. Because, unfortunately, your success will not be determined by your degree or how smart you are. The most successful people have strong social skills. And your final compass point...
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www.CarlosXuma.com LIFE COMPASS POINT 5) Get started building your foundation. I think in a lot of ways, we’ve been doing the excavation for your skyscraper in this book. We’ve been digging deep into the earth of your beliefs and attitudes to create a big hole that we can now start to lay some serious foundation in. What is this foundation made of? Well, they’re primarily the various meta-skills I’ve been discussing along the way. I’ll list some of them for you here: Rock-solid Inner Game - You must have inner confidence and the state of mind to come from a relaxed frame of mind. You need to really believe in yourself, your life, and your goals. Power Social Skills - You must have an ability to relate to people. This doesn’t mean you have to change into a complete social butterfly overnight. It just means that you have to venture out of your self-imposed comfort bubble to acquire a new skill that will reap you rewards unimaginable to the solitary man. And as we know, no man is an island unto himself. Motivation - You must have the fuel to get your lifestyle into high gear and get to your goals. Every man is motivated, even when he’s sitting on the couch watching TV. The trick is to find your reason for doing something and light a fire under your own ass to go after it. And it’s not all that hard to do. We have more free time and more opportunities than any other generation has ever had in history, yet we’re still bored. Well that’s only because you haven’t tapped into your mission. Stick with me and I’ll help you find it. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions, LLC.
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www.CarlosXuma.com Strong Dating and Attraction Skills - Hey, the reason you probably got started on this path was to satisfy your natural need for sexual companionship. Every man has it, and every man deserves to get what he wants. Techniques are still necessary, but even more than the techniques is learning and modeling the person who’s using them to achieve our own “Holy SHIT!” moment where it all clicks into place, and suddenly you know how the REAL game works. Lifestyle Skills: Learning the Things They Don’t Teach You in School - I always wondered why they didn’t teach things like how to balance your checkbook or how to manage your money or start a savings plan when we were in school. Instead we were learning facts and dates that almost none of us ever use after we leave high school. They taught us how to be a good little employee, and go work for a big shiny corporation, but they didn’t teach us the stuff that mattered. I guess I’m different in that I believe that every man needs to round out his lifestyle with the skills that will really matter in the long run - Not learning how long it will take Train A going 60 miles an hour to collide with Train B going 30 miles an hour. Call me silly...
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www.CarlosXuma.com LAST WORDS... I wanted to share a letter with you as a way to explain what it REALLY takes to get a woman. It might seem a bit out of place to talk about his “one night stand” when we’ve been talking so much about authenticity and so forth, but it’s the concept of what women want from men that is most important in this story.
The sooner you get started, the sooner you will achieve all the things you want in life. If not now, WHEN?
This guy’s experience is applicable to you, not just the super-suave guy who is looking to do some bar and club action. In fact, this works ten times better on women you meet every day, on the street, in the grocery store, at the laundromat - WHEREVER you may be. There’s another important word I want you to learn about that makes the difference between getting the woman you want - and winding up as just another friend. Read this question from one of my students to find out what this word is... ______________________ QUESTION FROM A STUDENT: Hello Carlos, Hope you doing great. Just had to let you know about my story last week where I got introduced to a girl by a friend. It all happened on a night where we were in a small social gathering with only me, her, and my friend. After half an hour my friend went to sleep and there was only the two of us. I think she is usually very shy and not very talkative by nature so I kept talking just to ease the situation and to make her comfortable. We had been talking for a while when I realized it was quite late but she was still here. I tried to get closer to her to see her reaction and eventually we started making out. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions, LLC.
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www.CarlosXuma.com Of course your advice did help a lot. For example I acted confident and seemed to be sure of what I was doing, I was even trying to make her laugh successfully (I guess our sense of humor was similar). So [your] three 'S's worked perfectly here: Self-confidence, sense of humor, and self-control. Oh, and I used [your] palm reading trick as an excuse to get closer to her and this is where it started. My questions are: (1) She seemed to be very into me that night but was regularly saying that she would not be having sex with me. I took it easy, took a few seconds break and tried again till she accepted. Would she have said that only to test my reaction? (2) If a girl is supposed to sleep with a guy if she trusts him (most importantly) then why did she do it on the first night she met me - and after only a few hours? Can that really be enough for a girl to trust a guy? Keep rocking dude!! R. in the UK ______________________ CARLOS XUMA ANSWERS: This is a common situation with guys that seems illogical up front, but is actually very obvious underneath. First off, a woman says that sort of thing ("I'm not sleeping with you") for one reason primarily, and it's not really to test you. It's actually her way of establishing in her mind that she is remaining "innocent." Women are culturally and societally programmed to protect their sexuality as their "secret value" to the world. It's her bargaining chip. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions, LLC.
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www.CarlosXuma.com The one thing a woman used in days-gone-by to assure her survival was her sexuality. It was her “unique selling proposal” for men that she had to guard. If a man thought she was a "loose woman," it lowered her sexual value. After all, how would he be able to be sure that his children were really HIS if she was the kind of girl who messed around? Well, in the last few years we've been able to destroy that myth (of the chaste woman who does not cheat) with the discovery that about 10% of all kids are not from the father they think they are. But it's VITALLY important to a woman's social appearance to her peers and to men that she look innocent. Think about what the worst insult is to a woman: Slut. So she will proclaim until the end of the world that she's a "Good Girl." And her way of maintaining this image to you is to make you believe that she "never does this sort of thing." And she even denies it to herself, telling herself that this or that sexual encounter "doesn't count." Now, if you did react badly or impatiently to her saying "not tonight," she would have been turned off in a big way. You would have proven yourself to be just another guy who only wants "one thing." Game over. But you did the right thing which was to hold back and chill. Relax and let her feel that she could connect with you, and that you were a confident and patient chap.
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www.CarlosXuma.com You also bring up an equally valid and important point about "trust." Isn't a woman supposed to trust a man before she sleeps with him? Yes, she does, but not as much as you might think. There's another ingredient that is more important than trust, and it will make all the difference to you with women. She needs to feel CONNECTION.
It’s really all about CONNECTION
So to answer your question, YES - that's all she needs in order to feel comfortable enough to indulge her sexuality and have fun with you. In order to understand women, you have to really understand the huge part of reality that is actually a complete LIE. Here are some facts about women that most men accept as the Truth, but they're not: MYTH - Women are not as interested in sex as men. Nope. Women are actually MORE sexual than men. MYTH - Women don't cheat as much as men. Nope. Women are just better at keeping it hidden than men are. MYTH - A woman needs to be your one and only girlfriend before she will sleep with you. Nope. As I told you above, she only needs to feel a connection with you to allow herself to be sexual with you. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions, LLC.
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www.CarlosXuma.com So the real riddle that guys need to solve is HOW to get a woman to feel that connection with you. To feel that she is actually felt and UNDERSTOOD on a deep level. To really supercharge her feminine identity, and touch her soul in a way that most men will NEVER understand. ______________________
Common sense isn’t all that common...
That’s right, it’s all about connection. Which is something you cannot achieve when you’re trying to be something you don’t feel comfortable or congruent with. Now, a lot of what you have just read in this ebook is going to seem like common sense to you. In fact, I’d worry if you hadn’t read at least a small portion of this somewhere else before. But as they say, common sense ain’t so common, is it? After all, we all know that exercising and eating right will make you healthier. Almost without exception. Seems pretty simple, doesn’t it? Eat right and exercise. So why don’t people do it if they know that they will live longer, have more energy, and live higher quality life? Well, it’s usually a question of discipline and motivation. It’s RARE to find a guy who will postpone his gratification to achieve his long-term goals. We try to do what’s in our best interests - but sometimes we can’t see those best interests until it’s too late. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions, LLC.
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www.CarlosXuma.com There was a really disgusting poster in the waiting room of my doctor’s office that showed a woman that looked all burned, blackened, and gooey. The caption underneath read: “If smoking did to you on the outside what it does on the inside, you’d never start.” It was pretty effective on a shock-value level.
Where you are right now is the sum total of all the decisions you have made throughout your life...
It’s hard to do what’s right for us if it involves the discomfort of changing. As humans, we have only a limited amount of “push through the pain” determination, and usually that determination only appears when we’ve finally hit rock bottom. Don’t get to that point if you can avoid it... but you might have to. Have you ever heard the saying that the success or failure that you experience can often be traced back to a few key decisions you make at critical times during your life? If you have heard this, have you ever given any thought as to what those decisions might actually be? Wouldn’t you agree that maybe it makes sense to give them a little thought? If you knew that there are only a few key decisions that you can make that are going to have an enormous impact on your quality of life and the women you will meet and be with in your life, wouldn’t you like to know in advance what those decisions are? Unfortunately, most guys have already made these decisions for themselves - and usually they make the WRONG ONE. And they don’t even realize that they’ve made this mistake. How do I know this? Because after talking with thousands of guys and experiencing the obstacles that they run into, I’ve been able to identify them - and it’s especially evident when you see how many guys are not getting the
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www.CarlosXuma.com kind of Top Gun success that a small percentage of the guys are getting out there. I used to think that the quality of your life experience would be in direct proportion to the level of your self-esteem. Well, I still think that, for the most part.
Can you look out through another person’s eyes and experience?
But now I understand that a huge part of your experience in life amounts to your willingness to look at things through other people’s perspective. Remember when I told you about the “Think Barrier”? That’s directly related to this. The salesperson who is willing to really SEE the world through his prospect’s eyes is going to experience a radical difference in their ability to sell... The hostage negotiator who is willing to really SEE the situation through the other person’s eyes is going to be able to defuse the situation - and safely... The parent who is really able to SEE through the eyes and experience of their teenager - remembering what it was like and not fall back on just commanding and lazy parenting - is going to be able to make a difference in their child’s life... The man who looks through the eyes of the woman he’s talking to will have unbelievable success in his ability to get her hooked on him - and CONNECT with massive rapport. It’s this ability to leave behind our own ego and selfish needs that will define the level of success you will experience in your life. PERIOD. This one realization has made all the difference in the success I’ve had in my personal life and my professional life. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions, LLC.
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www.CarlosXuma.com And this is the depth of information you will find in my programs as well. Do you ever feel lost? Do you ever feel like you’re searching for an answer of how all this stuff works, and how it all ties together?
“I know Kung-fu...” - Neo, in “The Matrix.”
TRIVIA: The Chinese characters for “kung-fu” symbolize “time” and “energy.” That’s all that “kung-fu” really is - the application of energy over time. You can have martial arts kung-fu, or cooking kung-fu, or even dating kung-fu, if you choose.
功夫
Because those two elements are really all that your life will amount to in the end. How much energy did you put in? And over how much time? The only thing you have to spend in this life is your time. Money will come and go, but your time is fixed. And precious. The last 30 or 40 minutes or so that you spent reading this book are gone for good. You’ll never have them again. That’s why I made damn sure that I put as much time-energy into this book as I could for you. This is my kung-fu.
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www.CarlosXuma.com Are You Finally a Man? You may have heard a saying that a boy becomes a man when he realizes he is going to die someday. This happened for me at a very early age. I remember it clearly, like one of those flashbulb memories where someone asks you where you were when this or that happened.
Someday, this will all be over.
I was 5 years old, and I was laying in bed, and I was laying there thinking about my life and thinking out into the future. All of a sudden I was smothered in despair. I realized that one day, all of this would be over. I would not live forever. I started crying, and I called my mom in. I told her what I was thinking about dying and afraid of it, and she did the warm and nurturing mother things, telling me that it would be all right, and this wouldn’t happen for many many years. She must have calmed me down, because I fell asleep soon after. I don’t really even remember dwelling on that thought again for many years. I imagine this was a big freak-out for my mom, too. Her little boy was talking about something she probably had never really considered. I can imagine how difficult that was for her to handle. I think that one experience shaped a lot of my life. I found a secret well spring of energy in my life after that point that - looking back now - I can attribute to this great realization. We are not permanent fixtures here on this planet. We are TEMPORARY here. We only get a good 70 or 80 years (sometimes much less - no one knows for sure how long) to do our work. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions, LLC.
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www.CarlosXuma.com And then we’re gone. Just a flicker of a candle in the wind, as some singer might say. We gotta get going, and move with a purpose. When I talked to my girlfriends in the past and asked them what it was that made them choose me, almost all of them say it was my burning drive to accomplish something here. They could sense I was on my way somewhere, and that was enormously exciting and attractive to them.
EVERYTHING is just a skill waiting to be learned.
So now the real question is what happens next, after this book is closed and your computer is turned off. What then? If all I’ve done in this book is give you ONE new idea that sparks your awareness or increases your energy and motivation, it was worth it. If all I’ve done is give you the understanding of ONE concept that could turn your life in a new direction, it was worth it. If you do nothing after you read this, and a few years from now you hear something that reminds you of a concept I’ve talked about, and you make a different decision that moves you towards your goal, it was worth it. You see, you can learn something new from anyone, anywhere, anytime - IF you have the right goggles of awareness on, and you’re not just trying to judge the world. As for YOUR Kung-fu, if you want to maximize your time-energy over the next who-knows-how-many-years, you need skills. Everything you want to do in life is just a skill - even dating and attracting women, or becoming a better man. And skills can be learned. © 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions, LLC.
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www.CarlosXuma.com I am here to teach you the best of the best when it comes to attraction skills. I’ve been through the entire learning cycle of a guy who SUCKED with women all the way to having great success with my dating and attraction, and all the way to realizing that there’s a big picture that guys want that goes way beyond just pickup and the romantic exploits. Again, I’m only going to pass along the best and most effective techniques for change, growth, confidence-building, and attraction. I’m not going to waste your time with a lot of useless lines and fluff that will only misguide you into a place where you feel like you have to be another person to attract women. You only need to raise your excitement and energy up a few notches to draw women into your vibe. Think about this whole “pickup” thing for a minute... Really, how hard could it be to get into a conversation with a drunk girl who’s just barely out of high school? The “pickup” skills are necessary, because they are a tool, and having any tool to realize a way to improve yourself is usually better than no tools. I say again, these techniques are necessary - but not nearly as much as it’s necessary for you to learn an honorable and incredibly POWERFUL method of attracting women with your authentic self. If you would like to create that for yourself, without having to pay $2000 (or much more) for an overhyped bootcamp with some guru, or having to go beat up your inner child, then I can help you find that path.
© 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions, LLC.
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www.CarlosXuma.com If you would like to find your own unique path and purpose in this life while you become the man you were meant to be, and you don’t want to walk over fire or spend umpteen thousand dollars in seminars and retreats, I’d be happy to help you find your path. And if I can’t help you, I’ll point you to someone who can. I want you to maximize these few years you get here on this planet, and not look back in regret at what you failed to do.
ENERGIZE your life...
Take a few minutes right now. Look away from the screen, or the paper, close your eyes for a bit and just imagine yourself in that old folks home, or retirement home, and you’re talking to everyone about the life you led. What would your story be? Would you have done the things you wanted to do? Or will you be regretting all the things you never got to do? Inner Game, Outer Game, and Motivation. This is the “Triple-Threat” of the Alpha Lifestyle. With these three elements in place, you are unstoppable. You will be a force to be reckoned with. I’m attaching a little roadmap for you on the next few pages. I’m just giving you a quick idea of what is possible for you to learn on this path to becoming the Alpha Man. I hope you’ll take the next step and start living your Alpha Lifestyle.
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LEARNING ROADMAP
www.CARLOSXUMA.com
No games or fake lines... Attract women with the REAL you. DVD VIDEO
CD AUDIO
Alpha Lifestyle: Triple-Threat
Power Social Skills
BOOKS
The Alpha Rules BOOKS
DVD VIDEO CD AUDIO
The Dating Black Book Secrets of the Alpha Man BOOKS CD AUDIO
Alpha Immersion CD AUDIO
The Seduction Method Approach Women - NOW
STARTING
INTERMEDIATE
Conversation & Persuasion
ADVANCED
TRUE SUCCESS WITH WOMEN REQUIRES BOTH INNER AND OUTER GAME... Carlos Xuma shares the insider secrets of how to attract women the right way - by being the REAL you! R.E.A.L. Game cuts through all the confusing and contradicting information out there to help you get REAL success with women by using the best parts of your authentic personality.
[TM]
R = Relaxed & Resourceful E = Effective & Energized A = Authentic & Alpha L = Lifestyle & Lasting
“Carlos Xuma is like that older, wiser brother you always wished you had... You know that he cares about you... He doesn't brag, he just tells you what he knows and you know he knows what he's talking about...” - Jack Kammer, Author
Most approaches and seductions fail because the guy isn’t confident and congruent with his true identity. He feels like he needs to rely on a line or “fake” opener to get her interested. While having a few stories and techniques is important, it’s the attitude that shines through. Carlos Xuma gives you both the inner game and the outer game. When you have both, your skill becomes natural - and more effective. Attraction is predictable and repeatable. It all starts with your natural Alpha Man abilities - the foundation of who you are right now. No more faking it!
WWW.CARLOSXUMA.COM LEARN: How to attract women with your own personality & get more dates The successful traits of the Alpha Man - and how you develop them Proven methods you can use to destroy “Approach Anxiety” How you leverage the Universal Motivators for change How you use the power of seductive language and imagery Using Power Questions to break past social conditioning How to control your fear, dispel your doubts, & build confidence Specific techniques and exercises for a Powerful Frame ALL the time Opening lines that calibrate to your style - and WORK How to build razor-sharp conversation skills The Stepping Stones from Approach to Intimacy - Start to Finish Exercises to raise your level of Power, Control, and Confidence How to overcome resistance - motivate yourself and others How to be successful in all areas of your life - not just women...
REAL WOMEN
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REAL RESULTS
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R.E.A.L. GAME
DATING STRATEGIES GO TO: www.datingdynamics.com
MEETING WOMEN GO TO: www.alphaconfidence.com/approach
TOTAL CONFIDENCE GO TO:
www.alphaconfidence.com
TOTAL ALPHA LIFESTYLE GO TO: www.thealpharules.com
CONVERSATION & PERSUASION GO TO:
www.alphaconfidence.com/conv
ADVANCED DATING & CONFIDENCE GO TO: www.attractwomenprogram.com
SEE EVERYTHING AT:
“I would have to say that your Alpha Man Program is one of the best solutions to getting this part of your life in order...” !! ! ! ! !! - J.E. in Georgia “...This is more than just a dating guide - it is a collection of priceless information on how to improve one's life in general....” ! ! ! ! !
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- M.R.
“...Your stuff is simply GOLD!!” -
C.P. in the U.K.
WWW.CARLOSXUMA.COM © 2001-2008 DD Publications- Morpheus Productions,
www.CarlosXuma.com Make a choice that makes sense for you, and get started learning and doing, not just BEING. Get started on a curriculum that will give you the freedom to do what you want to do, and be who you want to be. Please use your new understanding with compassion, energy, and to improve the lives of everyone you come in contact with. That’s all I ask...
Become a FORCE to be reckoned with...
Your friend,
- Carlos Xuma Northern California WWW.CARLOSXUMA.COM PS: You’re welcome to give a copy of this e-book to anyone you think might benefit from it.
© 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions, LLC.
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www.CarlosXuma.com © 2008 DD Publications, Morpheus Productions, LLC. The information contained in or made available through this Product cannot replace or substitute for the services of trained professionals in any field, including, but not limited to, psychological, financial, medical, or legal matters. In particular, you should regularly consult a doctor in all matters relating to physical or mental health, particularly concerning any symptoms that may require diagnosis or medical attention. DD Publications and our licensors or suppliers make no representations or warranties concerning any treatment, action, or application of medication or preparation by any person following the information offered or provided herein. Neither Carlos Xuma nor our associates, or any of their affiliates, will be liable for any direct, indirect, consequential, special, exemplary or other damages that may result, including but not limited to economic loss, injury, illness or death.
© 2008 DD Publications/Morpheus Productions, LLC.