Attraction Mastery 50 Amazing Tips For Guaranteed Success with Women By Scott Patterson
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Disclaimer No part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, mechanical or electronic, including photocopying or recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, or transmitted by email without permission in writing from the publisher. While all attempts have been made to verify the information provided in this publication, neither the author nor the publisher assumes any responsibility for errors, omissions, or contrary interpretations of the subject matter herein. This book is for entertainment purposes only. The views expressed are those of the author alone, and should not be taken as expert instruction or commands. The reader is responsible for his or her own actions. The advice in this book is meant for responsible adults, age 18 and over, and is not meant for minors. Adherence to all applicable laws and regulations, including international, federal, state and local governing professional licensing, business practices, advertising, and all other aspects of doing business in the US, Canada or any other jurisdiction is the sole responsibility of the purchaser or reader. Neither the author nor the publisher assume any responsibility or liability whatsoever on the behalf of the purchaser or reader of these materials. Any perceived slight of any individual or organization is purely unintentional.
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Introduction Let's be honest here… The dating scene can be quite intimidating! While there might be thousands of available women in your area, you have almost no chance of success if you don't know how to approach and or get them interested in you. Now if you're like most guys, you may have trouble talking to women or thinking of what to say in order to make them attracted to you. In fact, you're probably missing golden opportunities to meet beautiful and interesting women. From my experience with my website, I've discovered that many guys need help in a variety of areas with women. For instance, here are some of the common questions I receive from my readers: As you can see, I get a lot of questions about how to meet and attract women. So for the past months, I've been busy helping hundreds of guys learn how to succeed with women. That's where this ebook comes in… I've taken my best tips created this report to give you a crash course on attracting women. So sit back, read these 50 tips, then implement them into your life!
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Mental Game Tip #1 - How to Improve Your Self Confidence If you've ever tried to attract a woman, then you know your success depends on your self-confidence. The more confidence you have, the better off you'll be! So what should you do if you lack self confidence around women? Well here are a few tips you can use to raise your self-esteem:
Learn to Relax Before approaching women, put yourself in a relaxed state by paying attention to your posture and body. Then concentrate on a positive outcome from the conversation you're about to have. If you can remove all expectations you'll become more relaxed around women. So remind yourself that any negative outcome won't affect your life.
Try Meditation & Exercising There are certain activities (meditation, yoga, and tai-chi) which will make you more relaxed. By practicing these exercises, you'll be able to put yourself into a positive state whenever you need it, including the times when you're trying to pick up women. So if you're serious about building self confidence, try one of these activities.
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Use Your Strengths One quick way to build self-confidence is to write down all of the qualities that make you a great person. Then whenever you're faced with a situation where you're not feeling confident, just recite the affirmations about your positive qualities. By mentally reviewing your strengths, you'll be able to quickly ramp up your levels of confidence.
Be Positive at All Times It's widely known that guys who smile and have a positive outlook tend to attract more women. So no matter what you're feeling inside, ALWAYS have a upbeat attitude and do your best to be a guy who women enjoy being around. What's funny is even when you *fake* a confident personality, you'll eventually develop this personality trait!
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Tip #2- How to Be the MAN That Women Want Today I was reading a book on changing your lifestyle, when I came to a sudden realization. Sometimes the best way to attract a woman is to work on YOURSELF first. In other words, you have to learn… How to become a MAN! The truth is a LOT of women are fed up with dating guys who act like little boys. If you can learn what is attractive to women, then you’ll stand out from these low status men. So why is it important to become a MAN? Well it's simple. By being a REAL man, you'll exude a variety of positive characteristics. And these core set of traits can help you become more naturally attractive to women. The question is- What virtues should you develop? Well in my opinion, there are a number of strong character traits you should develop. Here are just a FEW of them:
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Honor
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Integrity
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Passion for life
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Goal orientation
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Confidence
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Humility
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Calmness under pressure
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Generosity to friends, family and even strangers
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Leadership
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Courage and conviction
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Decisiveness
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Humor
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Now you might be overwhelmed by the number of traits I’ve described. It definitely sounds like a lot to work on. But if you want to become more attractive to women, then you MUST do your best to work on all these areas of your life. I challenge you to take each trait and rate yourself on how well you fit this description. Then discipline yourself to improve on EACH of these character traits. I guarantee the more you work on yourself, then more you’ll naturally attract women.
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Tip #3- Eliminate Your Approach Anxiety Approach anxiety happens to the best of us! We’ve all had that terrifying fear of walking up to women and initiating a conversation. The truth is these anxious feelings can be traced back to early human development. Back then, there was REAL danger in approaching women. If you talked to a female who was attached to another man, you could get smacked over the head with a club. As you can see, approach anxiety is a NORMAL feeling that we all get. But should you let it control you? The obvious answer is NO! Although approach anxiety is commonplace, you should NEVER let it control you. Remember that we've all been at this point in our lives. The best “Pick Up Artists” in the world are the guys who overcame these feelings. Now if you want to overcome your own anxious feelings, then you should follow the same technique I used to move beyond approach anxiety… Talk to every woman you encounter! Most guys who want success with women make the mistake of ONLY approaching women during a specific time during the week. Then they build up a LOT of anxious feelings about initiating conversations with women. The solution to this problem is pretty easy. Instead of only approaching a girl during your trips to bar or club, you should initiate conversations with the women you encounter throughout the day. 9
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The beauty of this technique is you do NOT have to worry about trying to "pick up" these women. Instead you're using opportunities to PRACTICE your conversation skills and reduce nervousness. The point I'm trying to make is you can quickly ELIMINATE your approach anxiety if talking to women becomes second nature. To get started, all you have to do is initiate conversations with the women you encounter throughout the day. For instance, here are some girls you can talk to: λ
Checkout girls at stores
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Women who sit near you in class
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Any girl who helps you in clothing stores
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Females who work with you
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Women that you encounter on trains and subways
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Any girl waiting on the line with you
Remember that you DON'T have to use a smooth opener or conversation starter. Just start talking to them in a normal manner. Approach anxiety is something which all men have at some point in their lives. But you should NEVER let it control you. If you make it a habit to talk to women EVERYWHERE you go, it'll become second nature.
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Tip #4 – Overcome Your Fear of Rejection One major stumbling block to your success with women comes down to your ability to handle rejection. The simple truth is many guys have built up a MAJOR fear of rejection. If you have this phobia, then you're severely decreasing your chances at meeting and attracting the kind of women you want. Now there is a way to quickly overcome this fear. All you have to do is implement a trick my friend John taught me called "Going Kamikaze". The technique is simple. Every time you see an interesting woman, you approach WITHOUT hesitation. To be honest, I don't always agree with some of John's routines, but there is something to be learned about initiating conversations without thinking about it. He succeeds with a lot of women simply because he has no fear of rejection. While John knows he MIGHT get rejected, he's able to remove all negative thoughts from his head and focus on the moment. He's able to overcome HIS fear of rejection because he acts on instinct rather then dwell on what could go wrong. But what he does is NOT for the weak of heart. If you're uncomfortable with talking to ANY girl, then you need to take drastic measures to get over your feelings of possible rejection. A great trick I learned about eliminating the fears of rejection is to understand it's more important to think about the present moment rather then any negative thoughts which you might have. All you need to do is focus on enjoying the conversation and having fun with the girl, rather then "trying to score".
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Instead of letting your fears control you, try to reprogram yourself to approach without hesitation. So if you see an interesting woman, approach her with the SOLE intention of just striking up a conversation. When you tell yourself that you're JUST having a conversation becomes easier to eliminate your fears. What's funny is when you approach lots of women you'll discover it's not as bad as you think. After awhile your fears will slowly diminish. And your overall success will increase. If you follow my advice and learn how to approach automatically you'll discover your fear of rejection can be overcome.
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Tip #5 – Stop Being the “Nice Guy” In this tip, I am going to talk about "The Nice Guy". Now there are a lot of guys who try too hard with women. Typically these men are always ready to buy gifts do favors for girls "they like". But because of their supplicating behavior, they end up repelling women instead of attracting them. Without going into too much female psychology, the nice guy presents no challenge to women. Most of them want a guy who interests them and presents a challenge. As a result, you HAVE to demonstrate that you're a challenge to any woman you're trying to attract. This means you should create a strict set of standards and then ONLY do things if they comply with your personal code. Furthermore, you should challenge women if they're disrespecting you or not matching up to your expectations. While you might feel weird or think you're disrespecting women, there are strict rules for attracting them. By not kissing a girl's ass and doing everything she asks, you'll get rid of the 'Nice Guy' persona. This will help you transform yourself into the kind of guy who all women desire.
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The final way to stop being the proverbial nice guy is to learn how to be confident around women. This is especially true if they challenge or try to reject you. By carrying yourself with an "I don't care what happens" attitude, you'll act like a man who isn't concerned about the outcomes of an interaction with women. In fact, you'll look like you're not trying too hard. So if you want to stop being a nice guy, you should set up a code of conduct and transform yourself into a confident guy. Then you'll become an interesting and exciting person.
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Tip #6 – Overcome Your Sticking Points When it comes to women, we ALL have certain strengths and weaknesses. For instance, some guys are great at approaching women, but can’t create attraction. And others can display a confident personality, but don’t know how to use openers. Unfortunately being “great with women” comes down to your ability to OVERCOME your weakness rather then relying on your strengths. What does this mean to you? Well, if you want to increase your success with women, then you MUST identify the specific obstacles (Often known as ‘Sticking Points’) that are holding you back. Then once you’ve spotted these weaknesses, you should work on fixing them. I suggest a simple technique. Analyze the ways you try to meet women and break down the different obstacles into SMALL manageable steps. By doing it this way, you’ll identify and laser-target the problems you’re experiencing. For instance, here are a few sticking-points that affect a LOT of guys:
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Being controlled by approach anxiety
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Showing low status body language
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Knowing the right way to approach women
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How to start talking to women
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Understanding signs of attraction and when a woman is flirting
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How to go from an opener to having a REAL conversation
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Getting a woman’s number and setting up a date
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Knowing how to progress from a date to a *physical* encounter
As you can see, there are a lot of ‘sticking points’ that hold guys back. Perhaps you have a few of them. Part of being successful with women is accepting that you aren’t perfect. But it’s also about identifying your problem areas and having the courage to fix what you can. My advice is to analyze the things you’re doing wrong. Then FIX them! If you can overcome your sticking points, then you’ll experience a dramatic growth in your game. Ultimately this will help you transform into the kind of guy who can naturally attract a woman
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Tip #7 – The TRUTH About *Failure* "Oh my God, I can't just walk up and talk to her. What if I fail?" This is a TOO common statement I hear from guys. A lot of men are afraid to simply approach a woman and initiate a conversation. They're showing their fear because of one thing: FAILURE. The fear of rejection is an incredible powerful emotion. It can prevent you from taking that first step towards attracting a woman. One of the more common reasons for this anxiety is worrying that women will mock or ridicule you in some way. While this might happen, it's better to face this fear than run away from it. If you allow fear to control your actions, you'll miss out on many opportunities to talk to women. Now I know anxiety is a commonplace thing, but you should NEVER allow it to dictate what you can or can't do. Instead of letting it control your actions, you should learn to embrace your failures. And here's the reason why… A great comparison for dating is comparing it to baseball. In this sport, a guy is a "Hall of Fame Player" if he gets a hit 3 or 4 times for every 10 at bats. You should follow this same philosophy when you're talking to a woman. Just understand that failure is part of the whole process. Even the guys with the BEST approach techniques will meet a woman who won't be interested in them. It's important to remember that failure is a positive not a negative. You should learn to use it as a learning 17
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experience and use this opportunity to increase your overall "dating skill set". So the next you "strike out" with a woman don't get frustrated. Just analyze the interaction and ask yourself: λ
Did I talk to fast/slow/loud?
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Did I demonstrate higher status?
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Was she available or does she have a boyfriend?
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Did I successfully create a dynamic conversation?
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Was I funny, charming and confident?
When evaluate your *performance*, you can learn a lot from your mistakes. Then you can apply them when you next talk to a woman. When you eliminate your fear of failure and understand that it's a GOOD thing, then you'll see a dramatic increase in your dating success.
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Tip #8 – Don’t Worry About Your Looks When it comes to dating, guys have a LOT of fears. Whether they feel they're too bald, too short, or too fat, some men feel their personal appearance prevents them from talking to women. So the question is this: Is your appearance THAT important? Well the short answer is NO. But let me explain my rationale… As men we're primarily attracted to the stereotypical "Hot Girl". And according to popular men's magazines all guys desire thin, blonde-haired, and large-breasted models. (While you might have different tastes, this type of girl is statistically found to be the most popular type of woman among men.) Now what's interesting is women are attracted to different things then men. First off, each woman has varied tastes in men. What they find attractive really depends on their personality. Some love large hulking men, while others are attracted to thin, intellectual types. In addition women are PRIMARILY attracted to traits which are not based on personal appearance. Things like confidence, goal orientation and humor are all traits which can attract a woman. Obviously this is good news! No matter what faults you might find in your own appearance, you can still be VERY successful with women.
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If you know how to demonstrate an attractive personality then it becomes EASY to succeed with women. So the moral of this post is to STOP worrying about your looks. Instead try to focus on these things: λ
Developing your teasing/flirting skills.
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Building your self confidence
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Learning the *right* way to start a conversation
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Being able to demonstrate higher value
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Eliminating self limiting beliefs
When you develop these core traits your looks won't matter. You'll be able to attract beautiful women through your own unique personality.
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Tip #9- Failure Can Bring You Success The way you view an event determines how much you can learn from each experience! What do I mean? Well, it’s simple. How you view the world has a direct impact on your success with women. If you beat yourself up every time a woman rejects you, then you won’t make any progress with your dating life. On the other hand, if you develop a positive attitude about life, you’ll discover how to learn from each experience and grow as a man! Awhile back I discovered an interesting thing about men and how they view rejection. Whenever a guy is turned down by a woman, he uses “self-talk” to beat himself up. If a guy is rejected by a girl, he thinks there must be something wrong with him! So in order to experience DRAMATIC growth in your dating life, you must learn to develop a positive outlook on EACH interaction with a woman. Regardless of the outcome! In order to do this, you can try a simple technique I learned from NLP and cognitive psychology- The REFRAMING Technique The reframing technique is easy to learn. Whenever you’re faced with a potentially negative outcome, you learn to discover the positive results from the situation. This means 21
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asking yourself what BENEFIT you just received from this “negative” situation. While you may think it sounds like a lot of “psycho-babble”, I’ve discovered that reframing is an excellent way to LEARN from each experience. And by doing this regularly, you’ll experience dramatic success with women. Here’s an example of how reframing would work: Say you learned a brand new opener that you want to test out. You head over to your local bar and approach 10 groups of women. The problem is all 10 groups reject you! Most guys would view this as a negative experience and feel that they’re not “good-looking enough” to attract a woman. However, YOU understand the importance of reframing. You look at this situation and examine what benefit you’ve just received. By being “rejected” by 10 women, you have concrete proof that the opener does NOT work for you. This means that you have to go back and find a new way to approach women. Plus by approaching 10 groups of women, you’ve just acquired ten new experiences you can use to overcome your approach anxiety. Simply by initiating conversations with this many groups, you’ve learned that approaching isn’t as hard as you once thought. In order to MASTER your success with women, you should adopt a positive outlook at everything you experience. And by implementing the “reframing technique”, you’ll discover that every negative outcome will help you grow as a person!
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Approaching Women Tip #10- How to Start a Conversation "How can I initiate a conversation with an attractive woman?" This is ONE major question I receive all the time from the readers of my newsletter. What happens is these guys see interesting women, but have NO CLUE how to approach and start talking to them. Typically they make the mistake of reciting a corny pick up line they heard from their friends. Now let me tell you a little secret about pick up lines… THEY NEVER WORK! Sorry for shouting, but it drives me nuts when I hear some ass use a cheesy pick up line straight from the 70's. Not only are pick up lines offensive to women, but they actively telegraph your interest. (This is a bad thing to do) So the question is how can you initiate a conversation without using a pick up line?
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Well it's simple. All you have to do is use an OPENER! What is an opener? Basically an opener is ANY conversation starter you use which attracts the interest and attention of the women you're approaching. You use it to begin a conversation which gets women talking instead of putting them in an awkward situation. It differs from a pick up line because it sparks conversations and solicits their opinion. Also openers don't come across as sleazy and creepy. When used correctly you appear as a guy who is innocently asking a woman's opinion. Openers work because: 1) 2) 3) 4)
You're not telegraphing your intention Women love to give their opinions You can act funny AND interesting Their answers can be used to seed a conversation topic
The key to crafting the perfect opener is to make it an open-ended question which involves all the people in the group you're approaching. All that's required is for you to walk up to a group, ask their opinion and get them talking. So the opener should NEVER be a question that can be answered with a quick YES or NO response. Instead the conversation starter should get the group talking and make them interested in what you have to say.
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Now here are few rules you can use to craft a good opener:
Step 1- Use a Time Constraint If a group thinks you'll only stay for a few minutes, they'll respond more positively to your opener. If you attract their interest and attention, they won't care if told them that you would only take a few minutes of their time.
Step 2- Make it Interesting and Funny In order to be perceived as an interesting guy you should keep your opener fun and lighthearted. Try to fabricate an opener from your life or use something which can develop into a great topic of conversation.
Step 3- Give Them a Reason Why You’re Asking To make spark the curiosity of the woman you're approaching you need to give a reason WHY you're asking them a question. In other words, you shouldn't seem like you're randomly walking around the room asking questions from random strangers. Simply tell them that you were having a conversation with your buddy and you needed an opinion from different people.
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Now that you understand the principles behind an opener, it's time to create your own. What you should do is sit down and create 3-4 different openers which match your personality. Just think of funny or interesting things within your life and then create an opener around it. (For more on openers, be sure to take a look at the The Ultimate Approach system)
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Tip #11- “3 Second Rule” For Approaching Like I said before, you can eliminate your approach anxiety by talking to every woman you encounter. When you practice talking to women ALL the time, this skill will come to you naturally. Then approaching them won’t seem as difficult. Now in addition to talking to every woman you see, today I wanted to discuss a technique which is equally important. It’s called ‘The Three Second Rule’ for approaching women. The process is simple. Whenever you see an attractive woman, you give yourself ONLY three seconds before approaching her. Once you think of an opener, you approach her WITHOUT hesitation and initiate a conversation. The idea behind this technique is to prevent approach anxiety. When you take a long time to approach, negative thoughts could make you nervous about talking to her. And you might even “psych yourself out”. In other words when you hesitate on the approach, you’ll diminish your chances of success. But when you only take three seconds to initiate a conversation, you’ll have NO chance of letting approach anxiety affect you. In other words, you won’t have time to think about what could go wrong. Instead you focus on what you want to say THEN approach her. What’s interesting is ‘The Three Second Rule’ can make approach women by reflex. If you do it enough, you’ll start 27
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conversations without thinking about it! Then you’ll be a lucky guy who has very LITTLE approach anxiety.
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Tip #12- Five Items You Should Always Carry If you want to succeed with women, then you have to remember a lesson many us learned as a Boy Scout: "Always be prepared" Yes, by making certain preparations each night you'll experience a dramatic increase in your success. What I mean is this. The items you carry can have a direct effect on your ability to attract a woman. If you think ahead and carry certain "critical" things, you'll be prepared for specific scenarios which come up in the dating game. The following are 5 of the most important things you should carry every time you go out to meet women:
1- A Pen or Cell Phone One of your primary goals when meeting women is to get a phone number or set up a date. Now unless you have photographic memory, you'll need some way to jot down a girl's digits. That's why it's ALWAYS important to carry a pen or cell phone with you.
2- A Lighter While you might not be a smoker it's still important to carry a lighter. During the course of an evening, you'll probably encounter a few women who need a light. You can easily use your lighter to initiate a conversation.
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3- A Camera Having a camera is a great way to demonstrate higher value around women. When working a bar/club environment, it's important to be perceived as fun and exciting. You can use a camera to demonstrate this quality by taking fun pictures of you and your friends. Also a camera is a great way to initiate a conversation with a woman. Simply find an attractive girl and ask her to take a picture of your friends. Then after she takes the picture, you can use a cocky/funny routine to continue the conversation.
4- Gum or Breath Mints The quickest turn off to a woman is having bad breath. To prevent this, you should carry an assortment of breath mints and gum. Usually mint flavor gum or Altoids can dramatically improve your breath and will prevent you from offending any girl you've met.
5- Condoms Obviously you understand the importance of using condom. If your late-night adventures end in a sexual encounter, it's MANDATORY to carry protection with you. The responsible guy should be concerned with protecting both himself and his partner. So be smart and carry condoms with you. Like I said at the beginning of this article, it's important to be prepared for the common things that occur when you're meeting women. By carrying these 5 items, you'll prepare 30
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yourself for all the different things which can occur during an evening.
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Tip #13- Identify Her Attraction Signals Women constantly send you messages through their body language. Whether they’re attracted or repulsed by your presence, reading these cues can make ALL the difference when you’re trying to attract them. So if you don't detect their body language signals, you’ll COMPLETELY miss out on many golden opportunities. What’s interesting 90% of a woman's communication is done through her body language. (The guys who are successful with women KNOW how to read these subtle cues and can act according to what they see.) So if you DON’T know what women are telling you, then you’ll ONLY have a 10% chance of understanding what women really want. Why is it important to be able to read their body language? Well there are times when a woman will subtly use her body language to indicate interest. If you don’t know how to read these signs then you won’t know to approach or engage her in a conversation. Thus you might miss out on an incredible girl. What REALLY annoys me is there are some guys who IGNORE obvious signals from woman. Often I’ll see a girl purposely initiate eye contact with a guy, and he stands there doing nothing with a stupid expression on his face. She’s already demonstrated interest. So all he has to do is walk up and start a conversation. It’s that easy! 32
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What’s insane is guys spend SO much time trying to "pick up chicks". But they seem to miss out on the subtle cues women send them. If you learn how women flirt with their body language, then you can dramatically stand out from other guys. So the solution is this: Don't be like one of those guys who do nothing! Take the time to pay attention to women’s body language. After doing this for a couple of days, you’ll notice a WHOLE new world of subtle communication happening. Then once you become comfortable with their body language, you can look for specific attraction signals. Then all you have to do is walk up and start a conversation. So if you ever encounter a situation where a girl is making eye contact, you know she’s probably interested in talking to you. Just get off your butt and do something!
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Tip #14 – Look For Hidden Opportunities There will be times when an attractive woman will send you flirting signals. If you can detect these signals, then you’ll have a great opportunity to talk to an interesting girl. As gender roles evolve, it's become socially acceptable for women to be obvious about their attraction to guys. This includes flirting, making “forward” eye contact and even approaching YOU. So if you pay close attention, you’ll discover women are sending obvious attraction signals. When you receive a sign of attraction, you should take action. If a girl is giving you direct eye contact, then you know you’re being given an invitation to approach her. But when you don't do anything, you'll miss out on a golden opportunity. So here's an easy technique to try. Next time you’re out, try to make eye contact with the different women you find attractive. When you see a girl who locks eyes with you, give her a warm smile. If she smiles back or does a quick VERTICAL scan (ie: checking you out), then you know she is demonstrating a classic sign of interest. Obviously you're receiving an opportunity to approach this woman with very little risk of rejection. Don't hesitate! Immediately walk up to her and initiate a conversation. Because she’s demonstrated a major sign of attraction, you know she’s interested in you. So you don't have to
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worry about what to say or do. Just be natural in your approach and use a good opener. By taking the time to lock eyes with women and giving them time to check you out, you're creating your own opportunities. If you regularly do this, you’ll discover it’s easy to initiate conversations with girls.
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Tip #15- Approach GROUPS of Women Approaching a woman can be scary for a lot of guys. And this is especially true when she’s surrounded by her friends. That's the reason why some guys wait till a woman is alone before approaching her. But there is a MAJOR problem if you only approach women who are by themselves. When in a public setting, MOST women will never travel alone. So this makes it quite challenging to find a girl who isn’t surrounded by her friends. And even if you DO isolate a girl, she’ll be standoffish. A woman has a natural tendency to distrust ANY guy who approaches her when she doesn’t have the protective shield of her friends. So the solution is simple- You HAVE to learn how to approach GROUPS of women. It’s a fact that attractive women are RARELY alone. This means at some point, you have to become comfortable with approaching groups of girls and engaging them in a conversation. Now the best strategy is to approach the group and talk to ALL of them. Not just the girl you find attractive. The best way to do this is to use an opener. Then from their responses, you can transition into a conversation and demonstrate higher value.
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Just remember that your main objective for approaching a group of women to gain acceptance from EVERY person. Once they “like” you, it’ll become easy to shift your focus and work on the objection of your attention. For instance, you can use an opener, tell a few stories/negs, then “suddenly” notice the girl you like. From that point, you talk t her and do some qualifying. Then if you’re getting the enough indicators of interest, you can isolate her. The best way to do this is to say something like: “Can I borrow {her name} for a couple of minutes. I promise to bring her back.” After that, you bring her to a different area in the venue, and work on your rapport/attraction building skills. Now you might be a little scared about approaching GROUPS of women. But you have to realize that this is a natural feeling that all guys get. If you understand the principles in this post and practice your approach, this feeling will quickly diminish!
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Tip #16- Make Strong Eye Contact As you know by now, confidence is the key ingredient to demonstrating a high status personality. When you approach with confidence, you dramatically increase your success with women. So how do you display a confident aura? Well, I’ve found the best is to show a dominant presence with your body language. And this starts with the eye contact you give. Strong eye contact means a lot of things to women: #1- It shows that you’re used to being in control #2- It demonstrates you’re not afraid of women #3- It provides the first example of high status body language. What I recommend is simple. Whenever you’re out meeting women, allow your eye contact to hold SLIGHTLY longer then what’s considered socially acceptable. In a way, you’re acting like you’re trying to figure out if you’re looking at something you like. What's interesting about this form of communication is it sends a different message to people, based on their gender. Men will find lengthy eye contact to be a challenge or an aggressive action. On the other hand, women find these guys to be confident and sexual. You can also use eye contact to approach women. Whenever you lock eyes with a woman, you can give her a simple smile. If she smiles back, you know she’s probably willing to be approached. Contrary to using openers, this is a more natural way to start talking to women.
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Confidence is necessary ingredient to creating attraction. If you feel like you lack this characteristic when talking to women, then I recommend you work on the eye contact you give. Simply follow the advice I gave, and you’ll find that it’s easier to display a more self-assured presence around women.
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Tip #17- Isolation For Attraction A couple of days ago, I reviewed basic body language when approach a group of women. Today, I want to cover a related topic- Isolating your target from her friends. The goal of any approach or opener is to get you into a conversation with a group. As long as you demonstrate high status and transition to an interesting discussion, then you’ll find that most groups will accept you. But you have to remember ONE important thing. The goal of any approach is to attract a specific woman. (Ie: Your Target). If you’re simply talking to the group the whole night, then you’ll minimize your chances of attracting your target. Whenever you approach a group, you should focus on ISOLATING her from her friends. Then once she’s alone you can work on building more attraction and comfort. The process of isolation is actually fairly simple. First you want to look for genuine signs of attraction. If you don't see any IOIs (Indicators of Interest), then you should make a decision- switch your focus to another woman or cut the conversation short and move on. Now if you notice that you’re target is demonstrating a few flirt signals, then you know she is open to being isolated. At this point, you want to direct your attention to her and start building more direct attraction. By now her friends
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will pick up on the fact they're developing a one-on-one conversation. When this becomes obvious, say to your target: “Hey ____ , I want to show you something” Then turn to her friends and say: “I’m going to borrow your friend for a bit, I promise to bring her back” What you want to do is create a pretense for showing her something in a quieter location. Or you can simply tell her that you want to walk around the venue a little bit and she should join you. By acknowledging her friends, you’re also demonstrating that you have social intuition and you’re not going to do anything creepy. Then once you’ve isolated your target, you can do a number of things like build more attraction, establish rapport and initiate physical contact. Just remember that the best way to make a woman remember you during the initial interaction is if you make a lasting impression. And the best way to do that is to get her away from her friends and work on establishing that connection.
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Attracting Women Tip #18- Demonstrate Confident Body Language Being attractive to women sometimes doesn’t depend on what you say. Instead it can depend on the tone of your body language. It’s been said that almost 90% of your communication is done through non-verbal cues. If you’re not displaying the right kind of body language, then the best openers and routines won’t be able to help you! So the solution is simple. If you want to demonstrate high status, then you must know the secrets of giving off positive body language. When you do this, you’ll be perceived as a confident and dominant guy! And here are six ways you can show incredible body language around women…
#1 – Eradicate Weak Body Language The first step to fixing your body language is to eliminate all body language traits that are considered weak. Women can instantly detect a man who isn’t confident. So in order to make INSTANT improvement, you MUST become sensitive to the body language traits you’re displaying. For instance, some weak traits can include:
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Having your hands in your pockets
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Fidgeting or showing nervous energy
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Talking to people with your arms folded
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Slumping your head or shoulder down
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Looking uncomfortable in social situations
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Not taking up space
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Walking fast everywhere you go
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Leaning towards women during an initial conversation
What’s interesting is you can make dramatic change to your body language simply by eliminating these behaviors.
#2- Work on Your Stance The way you stand can have a huge impact on how people will think of you. Here are a few rules for how you should stand: λ
Keep your chin and head up
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Position your feet and legs at shoulder length apart
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Have your hands at your side or have only ONE hand holding a drink in front of you (Bar environments)
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Keep your back straight
#3– Take Up Space The confident guys in the world are NOT afraid of others. This is especially true in social situations. An easy way to eliminate your fear is subtly show your dominance and leadership by taking up space wherever your go.
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The good news is can be easily done. Whenever you’re in a public environment, try to spread out a little. Instead of folding inwards when you’re surrounded by other people, position your body so you’re taking up the most amount of space.
#4 – Be Relaxed A confident guy is somebody who can ALWAYS show a relaxed pose in ANY situation. So if you want to demonstrate high status, you must display a casual aura around women. By displaying a relaxed (yet confident) attitude, you’re showing that the little things in life don’t phase you. And here are a few ways to do this: λ
Your eyes concentrate on the person in the conversation
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When talking to women at a bar, you lean back and show that you’re comfortable
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You never let your eyes dart around a room
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You spread out and look comfortable when sitting down
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You breathe through your stomach instead of your chest
By showing a relaxed pose, you demonstrate a LACK of nervous and inferior body language traits
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#5– You Move Deliberately Low status guys are jumpy and ready to please women. As a result, they end up displaying “needy” body language. Instead of showing that you’re “ready to please” you want to demonstrate that you move on YOUR own terms. One of the core traits of a beta male is being a guy who is ALWAYS ready to do favors for women. If somebody needs help, the beta male will instantly come running. Instead of showing this inferior personality trait, you should move slowly and with a measured attitude. By taking deliberate actions with every step, you'll force people to pay attention to your schedule not theirs.
#6– Face Away From Women You can tell a LOT to women without opening your mouth. If you walk up to a woman, invade her personal space and make your intentions obvious, then you’re demonstrating the fact that you’re trying to “pick her up”. Now when you’re first talking to women, you DON’T want to make your intentions obvious. Instead of invading her space on the initial approach, you want to put her at ease. The best way to do this is to avoid directly facing a woman. One of the principles of body language is we tend to be uncomfortable by people who face us directly. So instead of positioning yourself right in front of her (or a group), you should approach her to the side. If you can end up side-by-side or at an angle, you'll reduce her nervousness and tension. And this will help show that you’re not investing too much emotionally in the outcome of the conversation.
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Your body language provides your first impression to women. If you know how to demonstrate high status with it, then you can easily show an attractive aura. By applying the six traits I discussed in this post, you’ll be able to show confident and alluring body language around women.
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Tip #19- Know When She’s Interested When you know when women are attracted to you, it becomes easy figure out which ones are available. But there is one MAJOR problem when you ONLY rely on indicators of interest. Many women (who already have boyfriends) display the exact same signs of attraction that single women demonstrate. This can include direct eye contact, smiling at you, playing with their hair, and having dilated pupils. What's annoying is we all respond to body language signs that indicate attraction. So it gets frustrating when woman in a committed relationship displays these same signals. Usually this means that you’ve wasted time that could be spent talking to an AVAILABLE woman. The good news is there are specific signs of attraction that are ONLY used by available women. If you know how to identify them, it becomes easy to locate a girl who wants to meet a guy. So when you're looking for women to approach, try to identify these signals:
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A flushed appearance or blushing when you look directly at her.
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Showing the inside of her palms and hands to you.
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Positioning her body towards you.
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Making attempts to get you to look at her or be noticed by you.
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Isolating herself from her friends so you’ll approach her.
As you probably know, it’s pretty frustrating to be in a conversation with a woman who is already taken. But if you’re able to decipher her body language and know that she’s single BEFORE you approach, you’ll quickly increase your overall dating success. Simply pay attention to the five signs of attraction I discussed in this post. Then you’ll discover that there are available women out there who WANT to meet you!
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Tip #20- How to Be the Alpha Male What’s the secret to being attractive to women? Well, there are a lot of traits that women find attractive in men. This can include BOTH your looks and your personality. Specifically women are incredibly attracted to the guy who acts demonstrates high status (or act likes an alpha male). So if you want to be attractive to women, you must project a high status personality. But what exactly does this expression mean and why is it attractive to women? There is a simple reason for cultivating a high status attitude with females. Almost ALL women want to be with the guy who stands out from the crowd. Basically they want guys who are equal to or better then their own social status. Think of it this way... Really attractive women are constantly being "hit on" by guys. Because it’s IMPOSSIBLE to date every man who talks to them, most girls have developed simple mechanisms for "weeding out" the losers. When a guy immediately hits on a girl, she'll place him in the "Lower Status" category. Attractive women typically have high status. Therefore most want a guy who is equal or GREATER then their own status. So what does this mean to you? Well it’s simple. Whenever you first meet a woman, you must immediately demonstrate a high status personality. Even if she’s gorgeous, don’t give her compliments or show that you’re attracted to her. Instead QUALIFY her and tease her. If you show that you’re not enamored with her looks (like other guys), then she’ll wonder if you might be an important person.
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Tip #21- Display a Confident Smile As I emphasize in this ebook, your personal appearance is a MAJOR factor in attracting women. While good looks aren’t mandatory, you must ensure that you’re doing your best to display an interesting AND unique look. And a huge part of your appearance is displaying a confident smile when you’re talking to a woman. The truth is the first thing a woman will notice about you is your smile. If you smile (and have a positive demeanor) around a woman, you’ll increase your chances of attracting her. So from the FIRST moment you make eye contact with a female, you MUST give your best possible smile. Now the question is- Why is smiling so effective? Well smiling is effective for many reasons. When you’re smiling, you're telling a woman these things: 1) You enjoy her company 2) You like what she is saying to you 3) You are an upbeat person with a positive outlook 4) You’re a fun guy As you can see, smiling is the cornerstone of a great first impression. In fact, I think it’s one of the key steps 50
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towards attracting a woman. By smiling at a woman you’ll get her to like you. Here’s why… If you study human nature then you know that when people smile at us, we usually return the gesture. So when you smile at a woman, she’ll probably give you one back. In a way you've given her a subconscious reason to immediately like you. So if you want to increase your success with women, make sure you’re smiling when talking to them!
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Tip #22- Show Your “Inner Rock Star” One thing I find interesting is how ‘rock stars’ can easily *score* with women. From what I’ve seen, all a guy needs is a guitar or microphone and he’ll have the pick of ANY woman around him. In fact, some rock guys literally have women beg them for sex. From Led Zeppelin all the way to a local cover band, musicians have it easy when it comes to attracting women. All they have to do is get on stage and women will become hypnotically captured by their presence. Now you probably think that rock guys attract women because of their fame or money. However this isn’t the case. What ‘rock stars’ have is the ability to stand out from the crowd. Unlike the average guy, these dudes know how to dress AND act in a unique manner. Furthermore, they’re good at projecting a mysterious image which women eat up! What I find interesting is there are LOTS of musicians who really suck at their craft. But they still manage to attract HORDES of women! So it shows that even the worst musicians have something which girls find incredibly seductive. And this theory holds true for even the crappiest cover bands at your local bars. While these guys are ONLY 52
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playing the songs from other bands, they still know how to draw women to them like a magnet. So what can you learn from this? Well it’s simple. Almost all rock stars succeed with women because they know how to stand out from the crowd. Unlike the average guy, they’re not afraid to dress differently or demonstrate an outlandish personality. While you don’t have to play an instrument, you can learn a lesson from how rock stars act. To be more like them you should do the following: λ
Wear something unique
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Peacock a little
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Be energetic and exciting around your friends
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Talk to everyone
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Be the life of the party
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Demonstrate higher value
The reason a 'rock star persona' is successful is it helps you stand out from other guys. In other words, by when you display a positive, “alpha male” personality, women will know that you’re different from other guys. The reason is simple... Deep down, ALL women want passion and excitement in their lives. (That's probably why romance novels are so successful). By displaying an outlandish personality around a woman, which makes you stand out, you'll represent the excitement she's probably missing in her life. But there is something important you should know about being different. In order to be attractive to women you should ONLY do things which are both original AND interesting. An easy way to do this is to observe how other guys act and do the EXACT opposite. 53
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The more you stand out, the more women will notice you. So think of new ways to dress, how to talk to women and your general attitude. If you can make them DIFFERENT from other guys, then you’ll be viewed as a unique and attractive guy.
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Tip #23 – Become the Fun Guy It’s happened to ALL us! There are times when the process of meeting women can become tedious. Since the art of attracting women requires a TON of effort, it can be both stressful and tiresome. And sometimes it just doesn’t seem worth your time. Often a night out can include: λ
Spending money
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Having to project a confident and energetic persona at ALL times
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Approaching dozens of “sets” or groups of women
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Going out night after night
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Being rejected by women when you’re approach techniques aren’t working
As you can see, there is LOT involved with trying to learn the subtle art of the pick up artist. So it’s only human if you sometimes forget the MAIN reason that you’re on this path. But there is something you must always keep in mind… If you’re not having FUN during this whole process, then you’ll have LITTLE chance of success. The truth is what we feel inside is always shown on the outside. So if you're not having fun when you’re meeting women, then you'll project a bored looking demeanor. And when this happens, you’ll KILL your chances of success. 55
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What’s the answer? Well it’s simple. You must learn to enjoy the whole experience of meeting and attracting women. Have fun out there, EVEN if you fail. Also, when you go out, it helps if you’re enjoying other things BESIDES trying to meet women. For instance, you can check out a new band, have fun with your buddies or simply talk to women because you want to meet a new person. The more you enjoy yourself, the more you'll project an aura of positive energy and confidence. Then trying to meet women won’t seem so tedious.
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Tip #24- The “Catch and Release” Technique Building attraction is absolutely vital when you meet a woman for the first time. If you can't make her physically interested, then you stand LITTLE chance of getting her number or setting up a date. Now it's actually fairly easy to approach a woman and create that initial spark. But what you do at this point can MAKE OR BREAK your chances of success. When you initially talk to a woman, you'll discover a period where you're getting to know her. If you're good at flirting and conversations, you'll be able to create that spark of chemistry. Normally at this point a LOT of guys will continue to talk and focus on increasing her attraction. Instead of doing this, try to implement what I like to call the 'Catch and Release' technique. It works like this… During your conversation, there will be a moment when the discussion is going really well and she's flirting with you. What you want to do is find a specific time where the conversation could stop or progress to the next level. Typically women expect men to make the conversation more intimate (ie: get her number, set up a date or kiss her). Now instead of taking the conversation to the next level, you tell her that you have to back your friends. Then as you leave, casually mention that you'll talk to her later. Then walk away, and rejoin your friends. 57
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If done correctly, the 'Catch and Release' technique will drive her crazy. She'll wonder why you're not talking to her and will make attempts to get your attention again. Later in the night, you can approach her again and resume your conversation. What's great about this technique is you make HER work for YOUR attention. As a result, she'll try harder to build attraction. The harder she has to work, the more of a "prize" you'll become. Normally I like to implement the 'Catch and Release' technique in an enclosed environment (bar, club, etc.) at the beginning of the night. Since I know I'll probably see her again, I like to use it to "work the room". If you have a string of 4-5 conversations that ALL went well, you can use this technique to increase your chances of getting a number, setting up a date or going home with her.
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Tip #25- Be Persistent, Be Proactive Well, here's a tip that I'm a little hesitant to discuss. So I urge you to read and understand it FULLY before you follow my advice. Anyway, the tip is simple! When meeting (and dating) women you have to be PERSISTANT. Now before you go out and start stalking every woman you meet, let explain what I mean about persistence. When I talk about this attitude, I mean that you shouldn't be afraid to follow-up with a woman where there is some chemistry. I DON'T mean you should stalk every girl you "really like". So when I tell you to be persistent, I mean you should make an effort when it comes to pursuing women. In other words, don't listen to your buddies and wait 7 days to call her. Nor do I mean you should blow her off every time she wants to hang out because you want to "seem cool". Instead actively call her and set up dates. Remember that most women let guys make the first move. If you're waiting around for her to call, then you might miss out on an opportunity with a great girl. Also it's important to remember that woman have busy lives just like you. So while she might be interested in you, there could be outside factors which require her attention. A woman might still have interest EVEN if she's not making the first move. What this means is it's up to YOU to followup and set up a date. 59
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Now there's the reverse side of being persistent. Eventually you'll encounter a girl who won't return your calls. This is the point where your persistence must STOP. If she doesn't return a number of your calls then she doesn't want to talk to you. I know this sounds harsh, but you should NEVER stalk a woman who has no interest in you. So remember that persistence is a great attitude. Don't be afraid to follow-up with woman and set up dates. But always remember that there are certain times when it's important to stop pursuing a woman and move on! In addition to persistence, there’s an equally important trait: Being Proactive. Like persistence, being proactive will increase your success with women. But what’s funny is many guys think playing games is the best way to increase attraction. In other words, they follow the advice of waiting 5-7 days before calling a girl. The logic is women will be attracted because they're forced to do the pursuing. The problem is this technique RARELY works! Think of it this way. Women, like men, get busy with their lives. After grabbing a woman’s number, you’re in direct competition for her time against her job, family, and other guys. When she gets busy, she’ll probably have to ditch something in her life. And since you've just met her, it’ll probably be YOU. Now once she decides that you’re expendable, all your efforts will have been wasted. Once this happens you only have yourself to blame. By not calling her, you've killed your chances of making a connection to that girl As you can see, being proactive is an incredibly important trait to develop. When you pursue women and immediately
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make the first call (within 2 days), you'll stick out in her mind. As a result, your success will dramatically increase. When you develop a proactive personality, you'll become the guy who has more women in his life. You’ll date more and will have more opportunities for finding someone special So ask yourself which guy gets laid more: The guy who waits for women to call first? OR The guy who is proactive and quickly follows up with women? Just remember that getting a phone number is the FIRST step in the dating process. If you become a proactive guy, you’ll have the skills for turning those digits into dates and fun times!
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Tip #26- Never Fear Other Guys When you’re out meeting women how do you deal with other guys? This is an important question to ask yourself. Whenever you’re out approaching women, you’ll DEFINITELY encounter situations where an attractive woman has a few guys with her. If you’re like a lot of guys, you’ll assume one of them is her boyfriend and move on. This is a mistake! Just because a woman is surrounded by guys, it doesn’t mean that she isn’t AVAILABLE. So do yourself a favor and don’t DISQUALIFY yourself before even taking a chance and approaching her. Remember this- ALL girls have a few male friends. So you’ll often see available women with guys around her. But they might be her friends instead of her lovers. Actually she probably WANTS a have a guy to approach her, because other men haven’t had the courage to talk to her. In fact, I HIGHLY recommend should ALWAYS approach a girl if she's surrounded by guys. Because you never know who is available and who isn’t. If you approach and then find out that she’s dating one of the guys, then you can quickly move on. What I recommend is to use an opinion opener. Usually this type of conversation starter is a way to approach a group in a friendly, but not too aggressive manner. Once you use your opener, you ask questions to the group and find out how they know each other. By doing this, you can quickly learn if the target woman is dating any of the guys. If you discover that she's single, then you can transition and isolate her from the group.
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By approaching women surrounded by men, you're taking action which scares other guys. The result is you'll approach LOTS of women who want to have guys talk to them. Which makes it easier to get more numbers and dates.
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Tip #27- Anchor an NLP Memory One of the earliest techniques used within the “seduction community” was implementing Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) to meet women. Many “seduction gurus” have long understood the importance of using basic psychological principles to make women more attracted. To be honest, NLP is a hard concept for many guys to learn. Often it seems hokey or too mechanical to work in the real world. But there’s one NLP I regularly use that can help you increase your overall success with women. It’s called “Anchoring”. The idea of anchoring is simple. You take a neutral item that has NO emotional connection to a woman, and you use it to trigger a positive emotion within a woman. Through a shared experience, she’ll always think of YOU when she looks at this object. With anchoring you basically create a fun memory that floods her with positive emotions. Ultimately this will get her to think about you when you’re not around. Now this concept may seem a little abstract, so let’s talk about an example of how anchoring can be used in your dating life.
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Whenever you meet a woman, it’s likely that some popular music will be playing in the background. To anchor this memory, start singing along with the song…OFF KEY! As long as you’ve already demonstrated high status, she’ll laugh and probably join in. While I’m normally against doing anything that projects a low status attitude, this technique can be a funny way she can remember you. In fact, it’s so powerful, she’ll think of you WEEKS later when she hears this song. It’s that powerful! Here’s an example of how it works: Over a year and a half ago, there was that dreadful song “You’re Beautiful” by James Blunt. One day I was at a bar talking to a girl, when the song came on. I start this whole bit about how I thought James Blunt was gay and they should play this song every time somebody acts a little “fruity”. Finally, I started singing the song in this high falsetto voice. While this might seem a bit weird, it really connected to this girl. I hung out with her a number of times after that night. And every time I saw her, she would start singing “You’re Beautiful” in a high voice whenever somebody started acting a little gay. The way I anchored that song created a frame of reference that was really powerful. To this day, I bet she still cracks up every time she hears that song. The point is simple. When you meet a woman, you want to stand out in a positive and funny manner. And a great way to do this is to anchor some popular song that she’ll often hear when you’re not around. 65
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Tip #28- The Importance of Teasing As you learned in a past tip, being a nice guy gets you nowhere with women. This reasoning is simple. Women are NOT attracted to guys who behave in a submissive manner. In essence, being a nice guy will end up boring a woman to tears! But there’s something to remember about this philosophy. While it’s crucial to not be too nice, it’s equally important to not come across as an arrogant jerk. So this presents a unique challenge. Around women, you must find that sweet spot between being a challenge while not acting TOO arrogant. What’s surprising is the solution is fairly simple. Whenever you talk to a woman, you MUST display a humorous but slightly teasing attitude. In other words, you say funny things while generally treating a woman like your “bratty little sister”. Now a lot of guys get confused about how humor should be used around women. Basically they're not sure why they should use it or why it's important. Being funny is directly correlated to being perceived as a fun guy. As a result, if you can project a humorous attitude, women will have fun around you. This is true even if you’re teasing her. If you create nicknames for her and not act afraid to make a few jokes at her expense, you’ll increase your chances of attracting her. While making fun of girl might seem counterproductive, there are concrete reasons why it works:
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1) You’re demonstrating a high status personality by not acting like the “nice guy” who is concerned with pleasing her 2) You’re showing a sense of humor and a playful attitude 3) You're reversing traditional gender roles by putting HER in the position of the pursuer Teasing a woman can include a lot of things. For instance, you can give do negs, give her a nickname or use your body language in a humorous manner. The key is to use your humor in a manner which makes it seem like you don’t care TOO much about what she thinks of you. By teasing a woman, you're creating a situation where she’s NOT sure if you’re attracted to her. As a result, she'll think of you as a challenge and will start to subconsciously prove herself. In the end, teasing a woman can be one of the best ways to build attraction and take an ordinary conversation to the next level.
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Tip #29- Talk EVEN When You’re Nervous Being nervous around women can be one of your biggest obstacles in your dating life. If you’re tongue tied and shaky when talking, you will NOT be attractive to girls. Now there is something I find interesting. In a recent radio show, I heard that many TOUGH guys would rather be in combat then approach a woman. Yes it’s true. Some men would prefer being shot at then approach a pretty-looking girl. Sounds crazy, right? Well, if the toughest guys in the world feel nervous around women then this emotion MUST be pretty powerful. But what do you do if you’re like these guys and get REALLY nervous about approaching women? The solution is pretty simple. In order to overcome your nervousness, you must learn to TALK TO WOMEN. What do I mean? In order to overcome your nervous feelings about talking to women, you must learn to initiate conversations as a reflex action. In other words, you should strike up a conversation with every woman you encounter. (In a recent tip, I discussed how to do this) So during each day, you should look for opportunities to talk to women. If you think of it as practice and NOT because you’re trying to “pick up” a woman, then you’ll quickly squash any feelings of nervousness. In addition, if you learn to talk to every woman you encounter, this behavior will become second nature! In the long run, you'll find it's pretty easy to approach attractive women. And then you’ll become a master at initiating conversations with women! 68
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Always remember that practice always makes perfect. If you’re nervous about talking to women, then solution is to keep doing it till it becomes comfortable.
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Tip #30- Reading Her Body Language As I discussed in a recent tip, women can show MANY signs of attraction. Simply through studying their body language, you can learn a lot about their levels of attraction. And if can successfully interpret these cues, you can use this information to know what kind of “move” to make. By understanding when a woman is “into” you, it becomes easier to emotionally and physically escalate a conversation. The best part is you can use a woman’s body language to measure your success. If things aren’t going well, you can calibrate and try something else. For instance when a woman finds you attractive, she’ll subconsciously move closer and find a reason to touch you. By being able to pick up one these “attraction signals” you know that whatever you’re doing is working! So to study a woman’s body language, you should identify when you’re getting both a POSITIVE and NEGATIVE reaction. Then you use this information to determine your next step. For instance, here are a few different cues you can receive from women:
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Positive λ
She moves closer to you when you say something interesting
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She touches you throughout the conversation
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She teases and jokes with you
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She maintains eye contact and isn’t distracted by people around her
Negative λ
She has “closed off” body language during the conversation
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Her eyes wander throughout the room
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She answers your questions with one word answers
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She engages other people in conversation and ignores your questions
As I mentioned before, HER body language can tell you a lot about her levels of attraction. If you make it a habit to study her signals, then act accordingly you’ll increase your chance of picking her up!
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Tip #31- Know Your Outcomes One of the reasons I succeed in a lot of things in my life is because I know the power of setting goals. By establishing a CLEAR cut understanding of what I want, I’m able to easily achieve it. Now there is one important thing to remember about setting goals. In order to achieve an outcome, you must specifically DEFINE it! And this could also be said about meeting women! If you want to be successful with women, you should define the outcomes that you want. In other words, when you’re meeting a woman for the first time, you should decide what goal you’re shooting for. By doing this, you’ll increase your chances of getting it! So to make this work, you have to set a goal EACH time before you approach a woman. Create a mental picture of what you want. Then clearly think of a mental map of how you can achieve this outcome. If you set goals for EACH approach, you can steer the conversation towards obtaining it. For instance, before each conversation you should ask yourself: λ
Do I want her number?
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Am I looking for a girlfriend?
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Do I want to sleep with her tonight?
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Should I go for the date?
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Am I approaching only to have a conversation?
By establishing a goal for each conversation, you can adjust the way you talk and who you approach. 72
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For instance, if you’re looking for a “one night stand”, then you should focus on approaching an easy target and going heavy on the flirting/sexual innuendos. On the other hand, if you want a girlfriend, then you should demonstrate higher status. In other words, you want to show the basic character traits of an interesting guy that woman would want to date. Just remember that establishing outcomes for EACH conversation can help you achieve it. You’ll discover that mentally creating a clear picture of your approach techniques can do wonders for getting what you want!
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Tip #32- Speak with Authority Women are naturally drawn to leaders! You can see evidence of this in almost every social situation. For instance, the most *desired* girls in your high school probably dated the popular athletes. And in the “real world”, attractive women are usually drawn to guys with powerful jobs. What makes these men stand out from the crowd? Well, it’s simple. The guys who are most successful at attracting women are usually able to demonstrate high levels of authority. By showing that they’re the “leader of the pack”, these men are able exude extreme levels of authority. I discovered the value of authority when I was recently reading a book on human psychology. What I discovered was how people tend to believe ALMOST any statement if you say it with complete confidence. So if you want to be perceived as a LEADER when you’re around women, then you have to start TALKING like one. There are a few simple ways you can do this. For instance you can demonstrate high levels of authority in the stories you tell, the openers you use and the body language you display. As long as you believe in yourself, women will believe in you! The truth is being an authority means having complete confidence in yourself! This means if you’re having “innergame” issues, then you NEED to work on them. 74
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Just remember that leaders are guys who believe in themselves. If you’re nervous around women, then you’ll only end up displaying an anxious persona. But if you identify your problem areas and constantly WORK on them, you can easily transform yourself into a guy who naturally displays an authoritative attitude.
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Tip #33- Know How to Tell a Story If you're like other guys, there will be moments in a conversation where you can't think of anything to say. What sucks is you could be talking to a great woman, then your mind suddenly goes blank and you can't have anything to talk about. Once this happens, you can say goodbye to any chance you have to attract this woman. The good news is there is a way to completely CAPTIVATE her attention during a conversation. All you have to do is utilize the power of storytelling. It's human nature to LOVE STORIES. Think about it… There have been times when you've been completely captivated by a person because he or she was able to tell a really interesting story. And you can do the same! By telling her entertaining stories, with you as the central character, you'll completely captivate her attention. In order to tell a good story you have to first think of 76
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different incidents and scenarios which a woman will find both interesting and entertaining. Then practice telling these stories around people. The important thing is to get to the point where you can tell this story as a reflex. Now you might think is you should use a different story every time you talk to a new woman. But that's not what you should do… If you have a good enough story, learn to tell it to every new woman you meet. Although you might know the story by heart, it'll be entertaining to any new woman you've just met. This is especially true when you know the story cold. For instance one story I often use when I meet a woman is about the time I was running and almost got hit by Bruce Springsteen when he was driving his car. I craft the story in a humorous way with him giving me the finger and my reaction. Since this happened MANY years ago, I've had a lot of experience telling it and making it really entertaining. YOU can also entertain women with your stories. Just sit down and craft a bunch of interesting stories. Then practice telling them every time you meet a woman. I promise you'll like the reactions you get from women.
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Tip #34- Use Sexual Innuendos When it comes to dating, women WANT some excitement. Unfortunately, this isn’t what they usually get from guys. A major mistake that men make when they first meet a woman is to discuss “safe topics”. In an effort to not “offend” a girl, most guys will only discuss things like her work, background, or what she does during her free time. The problem is these topics do NOTHING to build rapport or attraction. Instead they create a conversation that is similar to a boring job interview. In essence, they’re terrified to talk about SEX! Now I understand that you might be one of those guys who is worried about offending a woman. But if you want to build sexual tension, then you MUST bring up this topic EARLY in a conversation. This means that when you first meet a woman, you shouldn’t shy away from joking about sex or using a few sexual innuendos. What I find interesting is women think about sex as much as us. Perhaps even more! However most don’t want to be regarded as promiscuous or “easy”, so they generally avoid this topic. The good news is you can EASILY tap into a woman’s inclination to discuss sex if YOU have the courage to bring it up! By discussing the topic in a “non-creepy” manner, 78
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you can joke about the topic while NOT making her uncomfortable. What I found to work best is to tell a story related to “one of your friends”. Simply discuss a humorous incident, then get her feedback about similar incidences in her own life. The key here is to bring up the topic in a way that is not lewd. If you do this correctly, you can steer a conversation towards the topic of sex, while maintaining her levels of comfort. Just remember that you WANT a woman to think of you as a potential dating partner. By introducing the topic into a conversation early on, you’ll be perceived as a sexually confident guy. And this will help increase your chances of “getting physical” with the women you meet.
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Tip #35- Know How to Build Rapport As I’ve discussed throughout this site, attraction isn’t about a smooth opener and five minutes of conversation. It’s about creating that spark of chemistry, building comfort then moving to a private location. All of this is called "rapport" What is rapport? When it comes to women, rapport is being “in sync” with her and sharing heightened levels of attraction. When it occurs, you can quickly build her levels of trust. And this can often lead to an intimate experience. When you establish rapport with a woman, it becomes easy to get her number, set up a date or even go home with her. So obviously rapport is something that MUST be built during the comfort stage of a conversation. If she trusts you and feels a CONNECTION, then you’ll increase her levels of attraction. Rapport can be created by doing a few different things. For instance, here are some ways YOU can build rapport with women:
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λ
Discuss common interests and hobbies
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Establish physical contact
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Tease and neg in a playful manner
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Discuss interesting stories which demonstrate higher value
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Do future “future adventures” and talk about the fun things you COULD do together
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Look for her “Indicators of Interest” and escalate the conversation from this information
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So after you’ve been talking to woman for awhile, you must move into the rapport building stage. Then once she becomes comfortable, you’ll discover it’s easier to escalate her levels of physical attraction.
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Tip #36- How to Ask a Girl Out on a Date There is a right and wrong way to ask a girl out on date. Done correctly, you can easily land a date. But if you phrase it badly, you’ll seem weak and low status. That’s why it’s important to know HOW to ask a girl out. Then make sure you do this every time you meet a woman. But before we get to that, let’s review the WRONG way to phrase your date request.
The WRONG Way To Ask The worst way to ask a woman on a date is to be unclear about your plans. This is where you conclude the conversation with a weak statement that doesn’t build interest OR excitement. For instance, a wrong way to request a date would sound like this: “I enjoyed talking to you. Would you like to go out sometime?” The reason this doesn't work is it does nothing to make her interested about going on a date. If you want to her to go out with you, then the date itself should sound intriguing. Furthermore, when you give an ambiguous date request you do nothing to indicate your high status. As you probably know, women want a guy who is confident and 82
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takes initiative. When you’re unclear about your date request, you’ll demonstrate low self esteem. Now let’s move on to a correct way to ask for a date…
The RIGHT Way to Ask When you ask a woman out there should indicator of exactly what’s going to happen. This can include the day/time, place and the activity. In addition, the date request should be an extension of your lifestyle. Instead of presenting her with a formal date request, you’re casually inviting her into an exciting part of YOUR world. So a great way to ask a girl out would to talk about your exciting life and the things you enjoy. Then as the initial conversation comes to a conclusion, you see if she wants to join with an activity that you enjoy. For instance, you can ask a girl out like this: “Hey, you mentioned you like live music. A group of us are checking out that ____ band at ____ on ____. It should be an awesome time. You should tag along! Here let me get your number!” This is an excellent way to ask a girl on a date because it gives ALL the necessary information without seeming too needy. Also, if you state this with a high level of energy and status, she’ll naturally feel excited about joining you. If you follow my advice after building attraction, rapport and comfort, you should EASILY conclude the conversation with a phone number and date plan. 83
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Seduction Tip #37- Five Steps For Seduction Seduction can be a confusing concept for many guys. Because this is a topic covered by MANY sites, there is almost TOO much information out there. What’s the end result? Well, with the large amount of “seduction material” the average guy can learn a lot about various “pick up tricks”. But in all likelihood, he’ll fail to understand the PHILOSOPHY behind each technique. Frankly, I think the ENTIRE process of seduction can be boiled down to a few easy steps. If you understand the point behind each step, then you’ll do better then 99% of the other guys who only look for “quick-fix” solutions. So here is MY five-step formula for how seduction works:
#1– Mental Game The most “seductive” men are the guys who overcome the problems with their confidence and self limiting beliefs. What these guys understand is the importance of having the right mindset before approaching women. 84
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I think that most men fail to realize the importance of their mind when it comes to meeting women. In order to be seductive to women, you must practice displaying an attractive personality.
#2- Approaching Women Approaching women isn’t about using some cheesy pick up line. It’s about displaying a high status personality while attracting her interest. That’s why it’s important to use a neutral opener that doesn’t indicate your interest. Most women want guys who are high status. By NOT displaying signs of interest on your approach, you’ll attract her attention without triggering her natural inclination to be wary of new guys talking to her. And this helps to reinforce a confident, yet mysterious persona.
#3– Make Her Attracted You CAN’T have seduction unless she’s attracted to you. And this attraction is established within the first few minutes of meeting a guy. As I stated before, a big mistake you could make with a woman is to demonstrate YOUR attraction before she displays her. Once you approach a woman, you need to focus on creating attraction. There are many routines and techniques you can use to make this happen. In fact, MOST of the content you’ll find on “seduction websites” focuses on creating that spark of attraction. 85
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For now, all you need to know is the importance of creating attraction.
#4- Show Your Attraction In order for a woman to become emotionally invested in a guy, she must know that you like her for who SHE is rather then her appearance. As a woman becomes attracted to you, she’ll demonstrate specific Indicators of Interest. Once you detect these flirting signals, you should “push and pull” the interaction. Basically these are routines where you subtly get a woman to sell herself. And if she gives you the responses that YOU look for, you can demonstrate your own signs of attraction. Basically the idea of giving (then taking way) your attraction is to create sexual tension. This is what flirting is all about. One minute you’re showing signs of interest, the next you’re pushing her away and teasing her in a funny manner.
#5- The Seduction While this is the last step listed, seduction is something that should be happening from the moment you meet a woman. When you first start talking to a woman, you must be communicating a sexually confident aura. Seduction is about recognizing her attraction signals and responding with the appropriate response. And during the 86
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later stages of interaction, seduction is about knowing how to physically escalate, kiss her and THEN progress towards “closing the deal”. In addition, it’s also about being the guy who is confident enough the control each level of progression. So there you have it! The ENTIRE process of seduction summarized into a few steps. Obviously there is a lot more to learn about this process. (That’s why I’ve devoted a whole site to this topic). However, it’s important to understand the idea behind this system. When you understand WHY you should learn a specific technique, it becomes that much easier to improve your success with women.
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Tip #38- Create Great Sexual Chemistry Sexual Chemistry At some point in your life, you’ve probably heard this term. For a lot of guys, this phrase represents the holy grail of all interactions with a woman. If you’re able to create sexual chemistry, then you have a virtual lock on getting her into the bedroom. But how do you create it? Well, there’s a simple truth about sexual chemistry. A woman’s desire for you starts WAY before you’ve even met her. During her formative years, a woman develops her tastes for what she specifically likes in a guy. So if she is attracted to somebody who is “tall, dark and handsome”, then you won’t initially create sexual tension if you’re a short, ugly, albino dude. Every girl has her own particular taste in a guy. You can’t control it and you won’t know what she likes until you approach her. As a result, it’s important to fix what you can and display a top-notch personal appearance. Then once you know you’re “looking your best”, you can work on a REAL way to create sexual chemistry.
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While looks are initially important to a woman, you can still create a spark of attraction if you understand the principle of SEXUAL TENSION. Attractive women are used to guys acting like nice guys and kissing their asses. In order to trigger her “attraction switches”, you should understand that deep down inside women want a guy who presents a challenge. And that’s what you’re doing when you create sexual tension. A conversation should involve subtle techniques for pushing a woman away THEN pulling her in. One minute you’re touching her and providing a pleasurable experience. Then you’re pushing her away and teasing the hell out of her. The important thing to remember is that a conversation NEEDS tension. By giving her mixed signals about YOUR attraction, you’re NOT providing a way to resolve the tension that you’ve built. Now there is an important reason for creating this tension. At some point, you want to help a woman understand that the ONLY way to eliminate this tension is to take things to a physical level.
In other words, with sexual tension, a woman feels excited and has conflicting feelings. She thinks you might be attracted to her, but isn’t quite sure. Only by taking things to a physical level, will she resolve the tension that’s been built.
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Remember that sexual chemistry is an important ingredient to a conversation. Whenever you meet a woman, you should focus on creating enough tension that’ll increase her levels of attraction. Then sit back and watch as she works hard for your attention.
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Tip #39- Five Ways to Initiate Physical Contact If you want an interaction with a woman to lead to sex, you MUST establish physical contact! The simple truth is a girl won’t want to be intimate unless you first make her comfortable with your touch. And once she’s grown used to your contact, it’ll become easy to transition into kissing her and leading things towards sex. What’s important about physical contact is it should be established in the first few minutes of a conversation. The problem is you have to do it without being perceived as “the creepy guy”. An easy way to initiate contact is to do it in a natural manner. Here are five ways to do it:
Touch Her to Emphasize a Point During the first few minutes of a conversation, the touch barrier can be broken by emphasizing a point. All you need to do is lightly touch her arm or shoulder in a normal, nonaggressive manner. The important thing is act casual about this action. Don’t call attention to it or allow your touch to linger. Just make it seem like a normal extension of your demeanor.
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Do a Personality Test Personality tests are great for building attraction and demonstrating higher value. However, they’re also incredibly useful for touching a woman. For instance, a palm reading test requires hand-to-hand contact. You can touch the sensitive parts of a woman’s hands while demonstrating a skill. Then after demonstrating this skill, you should give her hands back. This will show that you’re not trying to grope her.
Play Games with Her Playfulness is an important part of ALL conversations. One of things that women want in a guy is a great sense of humor. So “playing games” with a woman can help you demonstrate humor while breaking the touch barrier. The technique is pretty simple. When you’re first talking to a woman, you want to do specific things that'll require touching her. For instance, you could initiate games like thumb/arm wrestling, the slap game or drawing on her arm. As long as you act playful while doing these games, it’ll be easy to touch her.
Cocky/Funny Routines Cocky/funny is a great way to show a humorous AND slightly arrogant women. A term coined by David DeAngelo, this routine generally involves being a sarcastic in a playful manner.
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One way to use cocky/funny is to establish physical contact. For instance you can give her a quick high five, shove her lightly on her shoulder when you're joking around, or give her “bump hip check” when you walk by her. Also if you're walking together, you playfully walk her into objects. As long as she recognizes that you’re playing around, she’ll love your cocky/funny routines.
Do Chivalrous Things If you're walking together somewhere, you can easily establish physical contact while showing chivalrous side of you. For instance you could do these things: λ
Open a door and lead her in with your hand on her lower back
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Offer your arm as you're walking into a place
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When you're walking through a crowd of people, be the first to go through it and offer your hand to guide her through
As I stated at the beginning of this post, physical contact must be established within the first few minutes of meeting a woman. If you implement the five tips I discussed in this article, you’ll be able to break this barrier in a simple yet effective manner.
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Tip #40- Kiss on the First Date??? Every day, I receive a LOT of email from guys needing help in their dating lives. And one of the MOST common questions I receive is “Should I go for a kiss on the first date?” Well instead of answering every email, I decided to use this tip to specifically answer this question. First off, I personally think guys place WAY too much emphasis on the ‘first date’. In fact, according to Google, guys commonly request help in this area. But I want to clear the air about the first date. After you meet a woman, you do NOT have to bring her to some fancy restaurant or follow “traditional” dating rules. A “first date” can simply involve hanging out in a casual environment. Actually I ENCOURAGE you to keep things lighthearted when you’re meeting a woman for the first time. So when I talk about the first date, I generally mean the FIRST time you hang out with a girl after getting her number/email. Now that I’ve clarified what I mean by the first date, let’s move on to the kissing… From what I’ve seen, MOST ‘seduction gurus’ recommend that you ALWAYS go for a kiss on the first date. 94
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Unfortunately I disagree. Part of dating or “hanging out” with a woman is to see if there is GENUINE attraction between the two of you. I believe that you should try to initiate kissing ONLY if there is mutual interest. If you try to force a kiss, this will only create an awkward situation. What I recommend is to look for Indicators of Interest that provide signals of her levels of attraction. When you receive at least 3 or 4 of these signs, you know she wants to be kissed. So when’s the right moment? Well traditionally, it’s recommended that you wait till the END of the date. WRONG WRONG WRONG!!! You should initiate kissing ANYTIME you think she’s ready. It shouldn’t be done at the end of a date or during “the perfect moment”. Honestly I believe there’s no such thing as the perfect moment. Instead, there are small opportunities which you must seize upon! So if you know she’s attracted, go for the kiss! If you read her signs correctly, then I guarantee you won’t be rejected!
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Tip #41- Turn Your Friend Into Your Girlfriend Do this sound like you… There is a female friend in your life who you secretly desire. You can’t stop thinking of her and she’s everything you want from a woman. The problem is she ONLY considers you to be a friend. Well if this sounds familiar, then you’re not alone! Probably the most common problem I hear about from men is how they secretly want a SPECIFIC woman. But, they can’t figure out how to get her. What’s the solution? To be honest, this is one of those situations where that’s EXTREMELY difficult to change! And the only way to do it is to take drastic measures. In this tip, we’re going to cover my three-step plan for turning that friend into a lover…
Step #1- Change Your Actions There’s something you probably never realized… The reason that you’re friends (and not intimate) with this girl is DIRECTLY related to the things that you did when 96
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you first met her. As your relationship developed, you made her look at you like a buddy, NOT as a sexual being. In order change her opinion, you need to “shake things up” a bit! This means ELIMINATING the specific actions that initially pushed you into the ‘friends zone’. For instance, here are a few things you need to STOP doing immediately: λ
Calling her all the time
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Listening to her talk about her guy problems
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Taking her on ‘pseudo’ dates
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Putting her needs in front of yours
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Being the shoulder she can always cry on
You might think this is a bit drastic, but remember we’re trying to completely shift the nature of your relationship. So, it’s necessary to have her completely change the way she thinks of you. The key is to do these things without coming across as a complete asshole. What I suggest is to simply become “really busy” in your life. Don’t completely blow her off, but let her know that you need to take care of some things for awhile. Which brings us to the next phase of this plan…
Step #2- Transform Yourself Now that we’ve removed yourself from her immediate radar, you’re going to work on becoming the kind of person she would find sexually enticing. Whereas you were 97
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once her “emotional tampon”, you’ll now become someone who she WANTS to date. This means creating an attractive lifestyle where she can’t help but be drawn to you! First, start doing stuff that makes YOU happy. I’ve found that an infatuation with a particular woman often stems from not having a lot going on with your life. By engaging in activities that are fun, you’ll start to gain a broader perspective on this particular woman. Perhaps she might even be as great as you once thought! Next, you should start hanging out with more women. This is another action that’ll give an idea of what else is out there. For all you know, there might be someone who is MUCH better than this girl. Finally after a few weeks, even months, you want to reconnect with your female friend. Call her up and talk about some of the things that you’ve done with yourself. (Hopefully you’ll have a lot of stories that’ll pique her interest). Furthermore, you want to vaguely mention a few of the women that are in your life. Don’t brag, just casually mention a few new “friends” that you now have. Trust me, this will make her feel just a *little* jealous. Now once you’re on the phone, make a suggestion to “hang out” sometime. This leads us to the next (and final) phase…
Step #3- Sealing the Deal
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The key to a successful meeting (or date) is to do something that’ll connect to the emotional (not logical) side of her brain. You want to bring her somewhere where you she’ll connect the positive feelings to being around you. So forget all thoughts of a boring activity like a dinner or movie! Instead you want to bring her somewhere that’ll elevate her mood and make her feel excited! Remember FUN is directly connected to AROUSAL. For instance, you can bring to places like an amusement park, dancing, exercising, working out, engaging in a sport, watching an exciting athletic game, doing something risky/dangerous, or going to a fun concert. All of these ideas are great for getting her to move around and arousing the emotional side of her brain. Now when you’re with her, you want to focus on creating SEXUAL TENSION. Rather than being the predictable, sexless man she once knew, you’re acting like a potential lover. This means flirting, teasing her, playfully touching her and having fun. These actions are critical because you want her to see you in a completely new light. And since she is already having fun, she’s not going to be in a position where she worries about “ruining your friendship”. She’ll no longer see you as a friend. You’ll be the exciting guy who can elevate her positive emotions. And at this point, things will naturally evolve into a more “intimate” relationship.
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This three-step plan is incredibly effective because it avoids the awkward conversation that some guys feel is the “only” way to change the nature of a relationship. Rather than forcing her to make a decision, you’re subtly altering her opinion of you in a way that’s connecting to her emotional states instead of her logic.
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Lifestyle Tip #42- Part-Time Jobs For Attracting Women We all know that women are attracted to "power people" like lawyers, doctors or architects. But there are a few part-time jobs, that anyone can do, which can increase your chances of meeting and attracting a woman. Here's what I mean… There are a number of occupations where you can work part-time and meet women in a social situation. Typically these jobs include being a bartender, DJ, bouncer, or a waiter. In fact, I think working a few hours each week in a social industry is an incredible way you can meet attractive women. Now even if you already have a full-time job, you should still think about working a few hours in one of these professions. When you 're working at these jobs, women will be engaging YOU in conversations. Due to the social nature of this environment, you're encountering women when they're relaxed and want to have fun. Furthermore, when you work at a "social job", you'll be regarded as an authority figure. The plain truth is women are attracted to guys with confidence and leaders. When you work at one of these jobs, you'll display the same characteristics which will attract women. In addition to attracting women, you can use a social job to freely flirt with women. Since a lot of these positions require a certain level of sarcasm and humor, you can flirt in a confident manner without women being aware that you're trying to pick them up. 101
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From my personal experience as a DJ, I've found that it's really easy to attract and engage women in conversations. In fact by working at different bars, I'm able to stand out from other guys and have them APPROACH ME. For instance, whenever a good-looking woman requests a certain song, I use this opportunity to tease her and engage her in a conversation. Since they often look at my job as an "authority figure", it's really simple to build rapport and attraction. So if you're having trouble with meeting women, then you might want to look into working part time at a social job. You'll probably discover that you're chances of meeting and attracting women will dramatically increase.
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Tip #43- Become the Busy Guy There are many characteristics of what women find attractive in a man. If you display "Alpha Male" traits, you'll show women that you're a fun and interesting guy. So it's important to demonstrate specific qualities which women want from men. For instance, I was recently rereading one of my favorite books where the author discussed how being a "busy guy" can help you build attraction with women you know. What he said was girls are naturally attracted to men who have interesting things going on. Now the truth is MANY guys are terrible at following up with women after getting a phone number or email address. Generally what happens is the attraction they built during the initial meeting falls flat and they can't set up a date. Between the period between meeting a woman and contacting her, a lot of things can draw her attention away from you. So it's important to reestablish that connect and make her interested in you. Since she probably has a lot of things happening in her life, you have to find a way to stand out in her mind. And the best way to do this is to act like a busy guy. As I mentioned before, women are extremely attracted to men who have exciting and interesting lives. So she'll be more attracted to you if you can demonstrate that you have a lot going on in your life. In a way you're displaying higher value by letting her know that you're not a guy who sits around the house nervously waiting for her call. Also, by acting like a busy guy, she'll subconsciously think you might be dating other women. If this woman thinks she has a bit of competition, she'll work hard *make an impression* the next time you meet. Now to act like a busy guy, you need to do the following… 103
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When you initially call her, let her know that you have a lot happening during the week. Then you tell her that you want to make definite plans on a specific day. Emphasize that you want to see her again, but "things have been crazy" in your life. After you make plans (ie: set up a date), cut the conversation short and tell her you have a lot of things to get done. Be vague about what you're doing, but make it sound interesting. Finally once you go on the date, mention all the activities that you do. In other works, let her know that you have a busy life, but you're willing to let her be part of it. If you can demonstrate that you have an active life you'll discover that women will find more attractive.
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Tip #44- Increase Your Social Circle Many guys have the erroneous belief that meeting women ALWAYS involves going to a specific location and approaching strangers. The truth is there is another way you can meet women without feeling the need to frequent crowded bars. The solution is simple. All you have to do is make a concerted effort to improve your social life. By making new friends and contacts, you'll increase your opportunities for meeting interesting women. When you try to make friends with more people, especially females, your options for dating women will dramatically increase. In addition, an increase in the quantity of friends will provide an excellent opportunity to do new and exciting things. Now the truth is a lot of women are attracted to guys who have an active social life. Furthermore by having more female buddies, you could have an opportunity to meet and date their friends. If you've familiar with the psychology of women, then you know that they love to play the role of matchmaker with their single friends. By having a better social life, you'll develop platonic relationships with lots of women. Then over time, you'll have an opportunity to be set up with their attractive friends.
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Since you have "personal recommendation" from your women friends, it'll be a lot easier to break the ice with their friends. Unlike approaching a woman at a bar, these women won't be so wary about you talking to them. But even if your female friends won't set you up with women they know, you can still meet their friends at social activities like a party or happy hour. And by creating a good social life, you'll see a dramatic increase in invitations to these events. So remember this… In order to increase your chances of meeting more women, it's important to get a healthy social life. Even if you know you're not attracted to a woman, make it a point to befriend her. She probably has a few cute friends that you can meet later on.
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Tip #45- Wear the Right Cologne If there is one lesson I've learned well as a guy, it is this: women will make an instant judgment on you from the moment you approach them. So if you make a bad first impression, then you'll kill your chances of attracting them. Now what I've discovered is that it's important to display a top-notch appearance. If you look and feel good, then you'll increase your overall success with women. And as part of your overall looks, it's important to wear cologne that women love. Since women are more in tune with their sense of smell, you should always remember to apply a quality fragrance before you go out. It's well known that women prefer guys who wear a nice cologne. By spraying on a fragrance, you'll discover that it'll help your ability to attract women. But the question is: Should you buy ANY cologne that you see? The answer is no! Because some fragrances "disagree" with many females, it's important to do research and find out what cologne women like best. If you're not careful with what you buy you run the risk of turning off the same woman you're trying to attract.
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As a result, it's important to find out what cologne do women prefer! One solution is to grab a female friend and have her help you out. The two of you should go your local mall and do some research. Try different fragrances and get her opinion on which ones smell the best. Another trick is to get the opinions from the women who work at the cologne counter. Try asking them which colognes they like best on their boyfriends. Then buy the one which has the highest recommendation. But if you don't have time to go fragrance shopping, then take a look at some of the colognes that I know women prefer: λ
Le Male by Jean Paul Gaultier
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Hugo Boss
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Curve for Men
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Versace Blue Jeans by Gianni Versace
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Contradiction by Calvin Klein
Being able to attract women often comes down to many elements. But if you take the time to wear a nice cologne, you'll improve your overall chances of success.
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Tip #46- Why Appearance DOES Matter Perhaps the question I get asked the most about women is if you need looks or money to attract women. My response to this question is ALWAYS a resounding NO! But there is one MAJOR catch to this statement. While I think you have the ability to attract women, you still need to have a top-notch personal appearance. Confused by this statement? If so, let me explain. While you don't have to be good looking to be desired by women, you still need to present an appearance which is attractive. And when I talk about appearance, I mean you should do everything to look your BEST. In other words, the clothes you wear and how you display your body language will have a direct impact on your success rate. Here are a few ways to dramatically improve your personal appearance:
1) Smile Every Time You Meet a Woman If done properly, your smile can be your SECRET WEAPON for attracting women. Now the trick is to learn how to smile as a reflex every time you approach a woman. If you don't have a natural smile, take the time to practice it. In addition to smiling it's equally important to have display a mouth which is free from stains or bad breath. So remember to brush and floss twice a day. Furthermore liberally use breath mints and gum.
2) Wear Fashionable Clothes
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If you want to meet attractive women, you have to be willing to wear fashionable clothes. So you might have to make a few financial sacrifices if you want clothes which will impress girls. The key to improving your wardrobe is to purchase some clothes which match today's latest fashion. While you don't have to go out and buy a whole new wardrobe, you should spend a little extra on a few items which look REALLY good. Simple take the time to find which items look best on YOU and you'll make a dramatic improvement.
3) Have Great Hygiene Like your smile, it's extremely critical to have proper hygiene. This means shaving, putting on deodorant, getting a haircut and showering regularly. If you look like a slob, you'll end up attracting slobbish women. The guys who are really successful know that attractive women go for confident and sharp looking men. In order to be like them, you must look your best. Just remember that your personal appearance is the first thing a woman will see. So make sure you present yourself in the best possible light.
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Tip #47- Know Where to Meet Women That's a common question I get from a lot of guys. Typically these guys think there is some magical place they can go to meet the woman of their dreams. The truth is the best way to find the right kind of woman is to go where she hangs out. Here's what I mean… Let's just say you decided one day that you want to hunt for dear. Would you grab a boat and go into the middle of a river? Probably not! If you were smart, you would grab some camouflage and go into the woods. You can take this analogy and apply this to a lot of guys. Typically they make the poor choice of looking for a SPECIFIC type of woman in places where she won't be. For instance, some men want a sweet, homebody type of woman. But the first place they look is their local bar. In essence, they're hunting for a deer in the middle of a river! If you're serious about trying to find a specific type of girl, you must be proactive and go to the places where she goes. In other words, if you want a "spiritual church girl", then you should put on your "Sunday's Best" and head over to a church. Now I'm not saying nice girls don't hang out at bars and clubs. But statistically speaking, you'll probably encounter 111
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girls who like to party and have a good time. Usually settling down is the farthest from their minds. To get started, sit down and form an image of your PERFECT girl. Then decide on the best places where she would hang out. For instance, here are a few types of women: λ
Party girls
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Bookish, intellectual women
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Business and professional women
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Athletic girls
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Spiritual women
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Alternative and extreme lifestyle girls
If you're able to define your ideal woman, it becomes that much easier to envision the places where she goes. Then all you have to do start frequenting the same spots where you'll likely encounter her. [Also, being able to meet a woman involves improving your dating skills.
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Tip #48- Stop Thinking About “The One” When it comes to dating, it's dangerous to develop an obsession. The reason is when your thoughts are consumed by thoughts of a single girl, it becomes to TOO easy to avoid other women. In fact the expression "Oneitis" comes from an inability to stop thinking about a specific girl in your life. Unfortunately, a BAD case of oneitis has a devastating effect on your ability to meet women. With oneitis, a guy tends to have strong feelings for a woman who does NOT return these feelings. To overcome one-itis, my advice is simple- STOP obsessing over her! If you're hung up on one particular woman, you'll be incredibly disappointed when she repeatedly spurns your attention. Instead of being obsessed over her, you should shift focus. In other words, start dating OTHER women and try to make new female friends. In fact, make it a point to include LOTS of women in your life. When you increase your “female social circle”, you'll dramatically improve your lifestyle. By filling your life with women you’ll receive FIVE major benefits: 1) You'll stop obsessing over that one woman you can't have 2) You'll have more opportunities to attend fun social events 3) You'll discover your “object of affection” is NOT that special 113
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You'll become more HIGH STATUS because people will see that you're surrounded by interesting women
5) You'll demonstrate to this one woman that she's EASILY replaceable Oneitis is something which can plague the best of us. But you can easily overcome it if you include more women in your life. So if you're struggling with obsessive feelings over one particular girl, then it might be time to take massive action. Simply try to date other women and make new female friends. I guarantee you'll quickly forget about this girl.
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Tip #49- Always Groom Yourself Do you like when women scream and run away from you? Well if you're like most guys this is the last thing you want. But it's a real possibility if you're not taking care of your grooming habits. Here's what I mean… In almost every social situation, I've noticed there is that ONE guy who tries hard to attract women, but doesn't take the time to work on his grooming habits. What he doesn't realize is poor hygiene turns off women instead of attracting them. By NOT taking a half hour each day for grooming, he's eliminating his chances of success. Now on this website, I work hard to provide great information for being attractive to women. It's my hope that I provide enough free information to help you overcome bad looks, social awkwardness or a lack of confidence. However there is NOTHING I can do to help you if you don't take the time to work on your hygiene. What's frustrating is having good personal hygiene is the one area in which you have COMPLETE control. Yet I see a number of guys who don't make an effort in this area of their lives. So if you want to ensure a top-notch appearance you should do the following EACH time before you go out to meet women:
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Shower (Using an ample amount of soap, shampoo, and conditioner)
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Clean your ears out with Q-Tips
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Shave or trim your facial hair
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Apply deodorant
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Brush your teeth and use dental floss
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Apply a popular cologne
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Trim any nose, eyebrow or ear hair you have
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Dress in a neat manner
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While these grooming tips may seem like common sense, a lot of guys seem to forget the importance of taking care of their appearance. Just remember that NO tip or technique will work if you have a lousy appearance or poor hygiene. As I always say: "If you look like a slob, you'll attract slobbish women!" Ultimately if you want to maximize your ability to attract women, simply spend a little time each day and remember to groom yourself!
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Tip #50- Create a Unique Look As you probably know, you don’t NEED good looks to be attractive to women. As long as you have an interesting personality and know how to develop physical chemistry, then you won’t have to look like a male model. But there’s one REALLY important exception to this statement. In a previous tip, I discussed how your personal appearance is VERY important. While women don't need to be with guys with great looks, you’ll still increase your success if you demonstrate an interesting appearance. What do I mean by this? Well, no matter what you look like, you can increase your success with women by creating a unique look. For instance, Neil Strauss (or Style), the renowned [PUA] who wrote ‘The Game’, created an interesting appearance that attracts women. A few years ago, Style was a self-proclaimed short, balding, skinny guy with a large nose. But with the help of Mystery, he transformed himself into a stylish person with a shaved head and unique facial hair. In essence, Style went from average looking to a guy with a unique look. This helped improve his confidence and increase his success with women. And you can do the same! No matter what you look like, you can dramatically improve your appearance and create an interesting look that’ll drive women crazy! Whether it's the way you dress or how you wear your haircut, there is probably something about your appearance that can be improved. By creating an
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interesting look, you’ll stand out from other guys and become more attractive.
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Conclusion Well I hope you enjoyed the 50 tips included in this ebook! Just remember that dating women comes down the simple process of knowing how to approach and attraction. So it's up to you to apply the tips you've learned throughout this ebook. Now most of these techniques are used for women you’ve never met before. BUT, I’ve found that you can apply some of them to attract that one girl who has never shown you interest before! There is a lot more to learn about getting women in addition to what I just discussed. In The Ultimate Approach system, you’ll get a FREE guide for approaching women and quickly building attraction. This course is specifically designed to help you eliminate that “approach” obstacle which plagues many guys. After implementing the techniques described here, you’ll have the confidence to approach ANY woman, ANY time, in ANY environment. To give you an idea of the things you’ll learn here’s brief list of what’s covered in this system:
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How to handle any objection from women such as “why are you talking to us”, “don’t you have anyone else here to talk to”, “I’m not interested”, etc... and still end up setting a date with her
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The 3 magic words to say to a woman the moment you approached her that gets HER interested and do ALL the talking
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Exactly what to say to women who are ‘on the go’ to stop whatever they’re doing and have a stimulating conversation with you instead
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A broken down and explained structure on exactly what to SAY and DO right after you've approached a woman to get her curious about YOU
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A smooth and charming way to easily meet women who are sitting or standing around you... at ANY place!
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Story-telling: How to use simple everyday stories to grab a woman's attention and have her engrossed in every little word you say
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Hilarious one-liners to "turn the tables" that changes the dynamics of the interaction to make it look like THEY are the ones picking YOU up (Women absolutely LOVE this and can never seem to get enough of it!)
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The 4 crucial words you must say immediately after you’ve approached a woman to ensure she stays and continues talking to you
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How to touch a woman the right way upon first meeting her (without creeping or freaking her out) that can easily lead to hand-holding, closing with a kiss or even bringing her home later
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“Word for word” questions you can ask to build instant connection & rapport to get a woman you’ve just met to open herself up to you & secretly have that “Oh my
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God, we’re sooo connecting with each other!” thoughts as you’re talking to her. λ
Hilarious one-liners you can use to get women laughing in seconds and enjoy your company even if you previously sucked at making jokes.
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How to easily implant an impenetrable positive mental shield for yourself… that even the harshest, most downgrading rejections bounces off it
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How to increase the effectiveness of your “rehearsed” routines by making them appear as the most spontaneous things to catch women’s attention and talk to you… (it works every time!)
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“Mindset transformation” that will DRASTICALLY change the way you look at approaching women FOREVER. When you know this, you’ll finally know why & how successful ‘naturals’ easily “turn the tables” on women and have them make you the “bait” they should ‘work’ hard for… and NOT the other way around
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A simple technique on how to smoothly walk up to ANY woman and strike up fun-filled, playful, flirtatious conversations and instantly have her feeling that funny ‘I don’t know what’s with this guy, but I just want to be around him’ vibe within the first few minutes of interaction
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“5 don’ts” of flirting. Don’t blow this one. So many men make countless blunders here… and now you can avoid them like the plague!
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How to mesmerize the women you’ve approached. It’s simple and fun — and you’ll know you’ve got her once you “read her”.
If you’re serious about skyrocketing your “approach women” success, then I highly recommend you check out The Ultimate Approach. 121
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