DeGuzman Curriculum 1
Hannah De Guzman 4316, Grief, Loss, and Mourning Curriculum Assignment: Assignment: Grief and Loss or!sho" or!sho" #ith $astoral %taff A"ril 6, &'1( )a*lor +niersit*
DeGuzman Curriculum & GRIEF AND LOSS WORKSHOP FOR PASTORAL STAFF Introduction
-he "ur"ose of this "a"er is to "resent a grief curriculum for "astoral staff to .egin the "rocess of orden/ orden/ss four stages of grief grief addressing e0"eriences of grief and loss arising from .oth their "ersonal lies and from serice to others in ministr* ministr* #hile su""orting and sering mem.ers of their congregations through their o#n grief #or! #or! -his curriculum is is intended to .e utilized for a one2session gathering of ministr* leaders and can .e facilitated .* an* mem.er of the grou" -he session and discussion discussion can last u" to t#o t#o hours and can .e ada"ted for arious grou" sizes and settings f the eent "ermits, the session could .e s"lit into t#o or three three se"arate sessions to allo# for more discussion time Population and Rationale
-he "o"ulation this "rogram is designed for are "astors, ministers, ministr* leaders and mem.ers of "astoral teams "articularl* of angelical congregations .ut can .e ada"ted to other ministr* settings and congregations According to four se"arate studies, research sho#s that "astors "rimaril* co"e through stressors stressors alone, intra2"ersonall* through faith "ractices such as "ra*er and )i.le reading and health* ha.its such as eating #ell and e0ercise #ith less than &'5 identif*ing their s"ouses and een fe#er identif*ing other relationshi"s such as mentors and accounta.ilit* "artners as resources for co"ing through difficult* and challenges McMinn et al, &''(7 Additionall*, Additionall*, most seminaries do not "roide classes classes on #or!ing #ith suriors of traumatic loss and grief, let alone courses that "re"are "astors to face the challenges of trauma #or! that can result in com"assion fatigue or icarious trauma )la!le*, )la!le*, &''87 As to aaila.le resources, there is still still a great need for additional research in this area -hough each "iece #as rich in content, this student #as onl* a.le to identif* one electronic .oo!, t#o scholarl* articles
DeGuzman Curriculum 3 and three narraties that "roided information s"ecificall* addressing grief #or! and self2care regarding grief and loss for "astors and clerg* Backround Literature
Among the man* roles and res"onsi.ilities that the* hold, "astoral staff and ministr* leaders hae .een ie#ed and o"erate as informal counselors and secondar* caregiers to indiiduals and families in the communities the* sere Due to the lac! of literature literature s"ecificall* addressing grief #or! for "astors, included in this literature reie# are sources addressing issues that funeral directors, caregiers, counselors, mental health "rofessionals, and other mem.ers of the hel"ing "rofessions e0"erience Grie! Work in t"e #id$t o! Grie! #ini$tr%
Ministers hae a uni9ue set of s!ills, e0"erience and !no#ledge suited to #al!ing alongside those #ho are e0"eriencing great g reat suffering from human loss e9ui""ed #ith "o#er from their calling, com"assion, and faith in God to assist in ma!ing meaning in the midst of suffering )la!le*, &''87 %imilar to that of a funeral director, director, the minister ta!es on the role of a liminal liminal figure standing .et#een the liing and the dead through "roiding care for the grieing, "erforming rituals and ceremon*, and engaging in s*m.olism that assists in the creation of meaning and connection for the communit* he or she is sering Helsel, Helsel, &''7 hile these actiities allo# the minister to also acutel* feel the loss and death, through the difficult #or! of liminalit* and hel"ing those in his or her care ca re to transition through the loss and mourning "rocess, ministers also "roide care and the creation of meaning out of suffering suffering for themseles as #ell Helsel, &''7 Ho#eer, man* sense sense isolation and estrangement as the* face the res"onsi.ilities associated #ith liminalit* "rimaril* "rimaril* alone; and .ecause the* are called to face
DeGuzman Curriculum 4 loss re"eatedl*, including traumatic loss, "astors ma* e0"erience a "rolonged grief the e0"ression of #hich is often denied to them .* the "eo"le the* are ministering to Helsel, &''7 Helsel argues that though the .urdens of the ministr* of grief ma* .e challenging, the* also can "roide the s"ace and resources for "astors to engage #ith "ractical actiities of care to address their o#n grief, inest in the communit* of faith the * are sering, #hile facilitating the "rocess of mourning for the grieing as the* reflect on "ast memories of their their loed ones and integrate ne# images of them them Helsel, &''7 -hese actiities .egin #ith #ith "re"aration for the funeral as "astors meet #ith grieing indiiduals and families to hear their stories of the deceased, their attem"ts to identif* the im"ortance of their loed one/s death, and ma* as! 9uestions regarding the "ur"ose of "ain and suffering Helsel, Helsel, &''7 During these "riate conersations, the "astor ma* .e reflecting on his o #n 9uestions regarding suffering and the significance of these moments #ith a contem"latie "osture and sharing in these ritualistic moments #ith the grieing Helsel, &''7 During ritual forms of liturg* liturg* and other traditional church "ractices, the "astor "roides "u.lic e0"ressions of sta.ilit* in the middle of change and loss through ritual and the "roclamation of faith Helsel, &''7 During the funeral sermon, sermon, the "astor stands again .et#een life and death allo#ing s"ace for the com"lete e0"ression of .oth dou.t and faith .* addressing life/s "ainful realit* and the "romise of ho"e from .e*ond as articulated in their faith tradition Helsel, Helsel, &''7 As the "astor courageousl* ta!es on this inter"retie role, his o#n "ersonal dealings #ith grief #ould .e reflected in the "u.lic "roclamation of dou.t that he ma* also .e feeling due to the realities of death creating a "lace of tension #ith the e0"ressed ho"e of #hat lies .e*ond Helsel, &''7 t is in this intersection intersection of "u.lic grieing of the faith communit* and that of the grieing "astor that fruitful fruitful #or! can .e done, "roiding assurance and sta.ilit* from .e*ond Helsel, &''7
DeGuzman Curriculum ( Grie! Work !ro& Lo$$ and Di$appoint&ent$ in #ini$tr%
As "astors "ursue the call to ministr*, the* can e0"erience feelings of inade9uac*, fear of failure, failure of dreams, frustration, and disa""ointment from setting idealistic e0"ectations of themseles, other "astoral staff, congregants, and the denomination or other g oerning .od* of the church McMinn et al, &''(7 +nli!e other "rofessions, ministr* o"erates in "artnershi" "artnershi" #ith others #ith the #or! de"endent on res"onses to an initation to "lant seeds? on >roc!* soil? or "laces #here the* cannot gro# resulting in re"eated re
-he nature of ministr* inoles a commitment of a minister #ho inests his time, energ* and "assion #holeheartedl* to a ision created .ased on the need of a grou" of "eo"le to .ecome #ho the* are .orn to .e .ut are una.le to lie into the ision; therefore, the ocational commitment and identit* of a minister is #ra""ed u" in a "artnershi" that is constantl* re.uffed and forsa!en Dittes, &''4, " 17 +nli!e other "rofessionals, ministers ministers ma* struggle #ith #ith se"arating their "rofessional lies from their "ersonal lies, liing as ministers each da* of the #ee!, and not .eing a.le to set aside a "ortion of themseles to inest in famil*, da*s off, off, ho..ies and other actiities outside of #or! Dittes, &''47 -herefore, grief can result from a loss of identit* #hen #hen ministr* is "reented "reented Dittes, &''47 -hough the re"eated re
DeGuzman Curriculum 6 re"udiation of the ision results in grief, the s"ace created .* the loss eentuall* "roides for the deelo"ment of a ne# ision and rene#al of the minister/s call #ith .etter focus and greater understanding of the need resulting in more determined and "ertinent ministr* Dittes, &''47 Ho#eer, this realit* does not ma!e the grief #or! an* less "ainful Dittes, &''47 Grief can .e s#allo#ed rather than #or!ed through in t#o #a*s: death trium"hant .* .* den*ing the e0istence of the "artnershi" that #as shared or death denied .* den*ing the limitations and actual .rea!do#n of the "artnershi" Dittes, &''47 Death #ould .e "ermitted to trium"h as the minister denies the isions and the significant inestment in them, runs from the ministr* .* resigning or choosing to mechanicall* go through the motions, "rotects the ision .* a.andoning it, and, rather than recognizing the needs of those around him, the minister onl* recalls the re
DeGuzman Curriculum 8 disa""ointment as esus/ disci"les disci"les .rea! His e0"ectations e 0"ectations and as He frustrates theirs and in the a.andonment of the cro#ds as esus fails to meet their e0"ectations of the Messiah Dittes, &''47 n fact, it is in this .rea!ing and a.andonment of e0"ectations and resulting grief that that esus reealed healing "o#er, #holeness, and reconciliation to God Dittes, &''47 -he creatie healing "o#er of grief is dramaticall* confirmed in human e0"eriencesso long as one is dealing #ith real rea l grief, #hich denies neither the dreams nor their dashing, denies neither the commitment nor its .etra*al, denies neither the e0"ectations nor their frustration, denies neither life nor deathso long as one ta!es seriousl*, in the grief, the earnestness of the ision and the earnestness of its shattering Dittes, &''4, " 117
W"en Grie! and Trau&a Work i$ Denied
n addition to the im"act on ministr* if grief is unresoled or the #or! is dela*ed, .urnout, com"assion fatigue, secondar* traumatic stress, and icarious traumatization traumatization are common stress2related conditions that ma* deelo" due to the lac! of or malada"tie co"ing $hel"s, Llo*d, Creamer, =or.es, &''7 -here is not a uniform uniform definition of .urnout among releant studies, ho#eer, most modern conce"tualizations conce" tualizations include s*m"toms arising from heightened stress leels oer#helming an indiidual/s a.ilit* to co"e; s*m"toms ma* include "h*sical, mental and emotional e0haustion, lo# self2esteem, feelings of ho"elessness, ho"elessness, de"ression, decreased insight, and im"aired decision2ma!ing, #hich negatiel* im"acts social and occu"ational functioning $hel"s, Llo*d, Creamer, Creamer, =or.es, &''7 Com"assion fatigue, on the other hand, is used to descri.e a decrease in ca"acit* to em"athize and emotionall* share in the suffering of others, #hich ma* result in aoidant .eha iors and an0iet* $hel"s, Llo*d, Creamer, =or.es, &''7 %econdar* traumatic stress refers to s*m"toms s*m"toms that seem to mimic that of $osttraumatic %tress Disorder #ith less intensit* as the hel"er icariousl* and iidl* re2
DeGuzman Curriculum E e0"eriences the client/s, or in this case "arishioner/s, trauma due to oer2engagement and lac! of emotional distance $hel"s, Llo*d, Creamer, =or.es, &''7 Ficarious Ficarious traumatization inoles changes to the "rofessional/s thoughts, "erce"tions, and .eliefs a.out self, others, and the #orld, #hich results in negatiel* im"acting inter"ersonal relationshi"s and functioning, as the hel"er oer2identifies #ith client/s e0"eriences im"airing one/s a.ilit* to e motionall* "rocess traumatic material $hel"s, Llo*d, Creamer, =or.es, &''7 is! factors for .urnout, com"assion fatigue, and secondar* traumatization include e0tensie #or! #ith traumatized clients, lac! of e0"erience, hea* caseloads and oer#or!ing, isolation, and lac! of social su""orts $hel"s, Llo*d, Creamer, Creamer, =or.es, &''7 As mentioned "reiousl*, less than 1'5 of clerg* identified social su""orts su""orts outside of faith "ractices and s"ousal su""ort McMinn et al, &''(7, #hile a stud* in Firginia Firginia in 1E #ith oman Catholic clerg* found that .urnout and de"ression #ere associated #ith a sense of isolation and lac! o f social su""ort $hel"s, Llo*d, Creamer, =or.es, &''7 Another stud* suggests that hel"ing "rofessionals #ho are married e0"erience fe#er instances of .urnout #hile another stud* indicated that isolation has a greater im"act on the indiidual #ho e0"erience se"aration from a "artner $hel"s, Llo*d, Creamer, =or.es, &''7 Additionall*, Additionall*, a stud* inoling hos"ice cha"lains found that a lac! of o f clarit* of role might also contri.ute to an increase in "erceied leel of stress $hel"s, Llo*d, Creamer, =or.es, &''7 $rotectie factors to ensure and "rotect "s*chological #ell2.eing include em"ath*, occu"ational su""ort, s"iritual #ell2.eing and creating meaning, and com"assion satisfaction $hel"s, Llo*d, Creamer, =or.es, &''7 'opin Tec"ni(ue$ and Sel!)'are
Most "astors and mem.ers of clerg* o"erate and function in a fairl* stressful enironment on a dail* .asis and are a.le to identif* #a*s to thrie and an d ada"t in their
DeGuzman Curriculum occu"ations McMinn et al, &''(7 %tudies hae sho#n that "astors "astors "rimaril* engage in intra"ersonal co"ing such as setting inter"ersonal .oundaries, connecting #ith God, .ringing a#areness to and meditating on the loe and grace of God, haing a sense of calling, and utilizing s"iritual disci"lines of "ra*er and %cri"ture reading along #ith !no#ing on e/s o#n a.ilities and limitations McMinn et al, &''(7 @ther co"ing resources include famil* resources through health* marriages, .eing a.le to effectiel* set health* .oundaries #ith "arishioners, "rioritizing time #ith famil*, famil*, moing less fre9uentl*, fre9uentl*, refuting e0"ectations of congregants of "erfection in famil* life and relationshi"s, and accessing strong social social su""ort outside of famil* McMinn et al, &''(7 Managing famil* roles, deelo"ing emotionall* connected families, and clarif*ing am.iguous .oundaries can .e significant challenges as "astors struggle #ith the demands and "ressure to s"end more time #ith church related res"onsi.ilities res"onsi.ilities and intrusions .* church mem.ers into marriage and famil* life due to undefined .oundaries McMinn et al, &''(7 %ome %o me ministers also identified health* relationshi"s outside of their marriages as resources for co"ing McMinn et al, &''(7 Ho#eer, man* re"ort hesitating to see! hel" from from others and e0"erience a lac! of de"th and connection in their relationshi"s as a result from .eing "erceied as ideal re"resentaties of Christian alues and irtue and feeling tra""ed due to the unattaina.le e0"ectations of ho# ministr* ministr* leaders should .ehae McMinn et al, &''(7 @ften, clerg* rel* on their s"ouses to "rocess stress and difficulties es"eciall* #hen admission to "articular struggles ma*
DeGuzman Curriculum 1' %"iritual resources are therefore the "rimar* ehicle for "rocessing, co"ing a nd recoering from stressors, grief, and difficult emotions, although, one might argue that clerg* ma* not "erceie s"iritual "ractices as non2relational due to engagement in a relationshi" #ith God through "ra*er, %cri"ture reading, and meditation McMinn McMinn et al, &''(7 Due to the difficult* in esta.lishing relationshi"s and close friendshi"s outside of marriage, marriage relationshi"s .ecome the "lace for the e0"ression of dee" and difficult emotions and struggles #ithin ministr* McMinn et al, &''(7 Ho#eer, the demands of ministr*, ministr*, intrusions from "arishioners, and unhealth* de"endence on a s"ouse can create strain in a marriage and ma* result in feelings of isolation and hel"lessness McMinn et al, &''(7 %"ecial attention to nurturing health* marriages, encouraging formation of health* friendshi"s outside of marriage, and assisting "astors in identif*ing other means for co"ing can .e im"ortant areas of #or! for counselors and those #ho are interested in #or!ing #ith clerg* clerg* McMinn et al, &''(7 $articularl* in cases that inole traumatic grief that that ma* result in icarious trauma, clerg* are urged to see! su"erision #ith a "rofessional colleague in ministr* #ho can assist in "rocessing the distressing e0"eriences and dee lo"ing .oundaries .et#een those e0"eriences and the "astor/s role as counselor to the suriors and those grieing )la!le*, &''87 $astors are also admonished to to consider their ethical o.ligation o.ligation to #or! #ithin their their com"etence and refer to mental heath s"ecialists "articularl* in cases of com"licated grief and loss from homicide, so as not .ring unintended harm to those inoled or to themseles the mseles )la!le*, )la!le*, &''87 T"eoretical #odel
n Cha"ter E of Grief Counseling and Grief Therapy 1E&7, orden orden addresses a ddresses grief #or! of the counselor orden orden e0"resses that the counselor/s grief can stem from from feelings of
DeGuzman Curriculum 11 inade9uac* and frustration from not .eing a.le to full* hel" the .ereaed, from .eing made a#are of one/s o#n "ainful losses, a#areness of one/s feared or "ending losses, and a#areness of the realit* and threat of one/s o#n death 1E&7 Grief #or! for the counselor inoles e0"loring one/s o#n histor* of loss and identif*ing unresoled losses orden, orden, 1E&7 After identif*ing these losses, counselors are encouraged to enter into the =our -as!s of Mourning #hich inole 17 acce"ting the realit* of the loss, &7 e0"eriencing the "ain of grief, 37 ad
.rief descri"tion of the session and agenda =acilitator ma* also direct "artici"ants/ attention to aaila.le refreshments, restroom restroom locations, and materials De"ending on ho# man* "artici"ants
DeGuzman Curriculum 1& are "resent, mem.ers are encouraged to introduce themseles, their role in the congregation eg %enior $astor, outh outh Leader, %enior Adult Minister, etc,7, and the congregation the* sere Also, if a""ro"riate for the session, facilitators are encouraged to .egin the time #ith "ra*er Group Rule$* +. &inute$- -he facilitator can lead a discussion on identif*ing and esta.lishing
grou" rules #ith "artici"ants or ma* "resent an ada"ted ersion of the follo#ing: 1 & 3 4
Confid Confident ential ialit* it* and limit limits s es" es"ec ecti ting ng each each other other $roid $roiding ing su""or su""ortt to to each each othe other r $artici"at $artici"ation ion and $ermission $ermission to A.stai A.stain n I ou ou are encouraged to "artici"at "artici"atee and share in as much as *ou are a.le and comforta.le to, and if *ou need to e0cuse *ourself, "lease feel free to do so
Part /* Grie! and Lo$$ /0/ +/0 &inute$-
-he facilitator #ill #al! through the common res"onses to and im"act of dela*ed or unresoled grief and trauma in ministr* eg .urnout, com"assion fatigue, stress, and icarious trauma7, the need to address grief, and .riefl* define orden/s orden/s =our -as!s -as!s of Grieing
Part II* Identi!%in 1nre$ol2ed Grie! and Ta$k Ta$k I +Total +Total o! 30 &inute$ includin 3 &inute 4reak$ a!ter Appendi5 A and Appendi5 '-
-his "ortion inoles three three #or!sheets for three se"arate se"arate times of grou" discussion discussion -he facilitator can read the follo#ing descri"tion or "roide their o#n that #ould .e more suita.le for the setting and to meet the needs of the "artici"ants "resent: >Henri Bou#en descri.es the minster as Jthe #ounded healer, the one #ho must loo! after his o#n #ounds .ut at the same time .e "re"ared to heal the #ounds of others/ As #e enter into the grief and "ain of those #e are called to sere, #e are .rought to the remem.rance
DeGuzman Curriculum 13 of our o#n losses and the realities of loss to come e #ill .e setting aside this time to to loo! at our o#n histor* of losses, to reflect u"on them, in ho"es to .egin the "rocess on o n #or!ing through our o#n grief, so #e might also receie the comfort of our Lord esus Christ, #ho is ac9uainted #ith grief, suffered great loss to "roide healing and #holeness to us and to those #ho He h as gien us the "riilege to sere? Group Acti2itie$ and Di$cu$$ion$* Appendi5 A* #% Per$onal Lo$$e$ 4% Deat" +/3 &inute$-
-he facilitator #ill then direct "artici"ants/ attention to the #or!sheets "roided to them @nce "artici"ants hae com"leted A""endi0 A""endi0 A, the facilitator facilitator #ill encourage them to share their res"onses #ithin their small grou"s Appendi5 B* #% E5perience$ o! Deat" in #ini$tr% +/3 &inute$-
-he facilitator #ill then direct "artici"ants attention to A""endi0 A""endi0 ) -he facilitator ma* read the follo#ing 9uote from a "astor/s first e0"erience of death in ministr* and "articularl* comforting an older and more seasoned "astor: > #as &( *ears old and in the seenth month of seminar*K didn/t !no# ho# to lead a funeral didn/t !no# ho# to comfort $astor err* err* He #as older than me, and he #as m* oerseer didn/t gras" ho# to "roide a sta.ilizing "resence in the midst of a crisisK Bo#, ie#ing ie#ing this eent through the lens of 1E *ears of "astoral e0"erience, realize God #as teaching me some er* im"ortant im"ortant lessons a.out ministr* ministr* $erha"s the most im"ortant is that God can use our inade9uac* or ine0"erience as a launching "ad to discoer His sufficienc*? sufficienc*? odgers, &''6, " 1'67
DeGuzman Curriculum 14 @nce "artici"ants hae com"leted A""endi0 ), the facilitator #ill encourage them to share their res"onses #ithin their small grou"s Appendi5 '* #% Di$appoint&ent$ in #ini$tr% +/3 &inute$-
-he facilitator #ill then direct "artici"ants attention to A""endi0 A""endi0 C -he facilitator ma* as! a "artici"ant to read the first 9uote to "roide conte0t into discussion @nce "artici"ants hae com"leted this "ortion, the facilitator #ill encourage discussion among small grou" mem.ers
Part III* Worden6$ Ta$k$ II t"rou" I7 +80 &inute$ includin /3 &inute$ o! pra%er-
After a fie2minute .rea!, the facilitator #ill refer to orden/s orden/s -as!s -as!s of Mourning and .riefl* e0"lain the tas!s -he follo#ing is a suggested scri"t that ma* ma* .e amended and ada"ted to to the facilitator/s s"ea!ing st*le and to meet the needs of the grou": >-he first tas! of grieing .egins #ith acce"ting the facts of the loss loss @n the first "age of our #or!sheets, #e identified the "eo"le in our lies that #e hae lost, the circumstances surrounding their deaths, ho# #e felt, #hat #e e0"erienced, the most difficult as"ects of those e0"eriences, and the realit* of #ho #e might lose in the future e .ring these memories to mind; #e remem.er remem.er their faces; and #e acce"t that there is no reunion at least in this life @n the second "age, #e face the realities of those #e hae lost in our serice to God/s "eo"le, the families that #e grieed alongside22in their homes, at the hos"ital, at the graeside, oer the "hone, in the "e#s, and sometimes in our o#n homes e remem.er the frustration, the feelings of failure and of inade9uac* as #e .ear the .urdens of the .ereaed, gra""le #ith our o#n dou.ts, and cling to ho"e as #e "oint the grieing to the %ource of ho"e @n "age 3, #e .ring to mind the realities of ministr*, the commitments #e hae made, and the constant disa""ointments and .arriers to the fulfilling of a ision that God has "laced on our hearts e name these
DeGuzman Curriculum 1( feelings and acce"t the realit* that the "eo"le of God hae said no no e remem.er remem.e r these times and the dee" sense of loss #e share as ministers ministers During these discussions and #hile ans#ering these 9uestions, *ou ma* hae alread* .egun the "rocess of -as! : -o -o 0"erience the $ain of Grief Ho#eer, this ma* ma* not .e the case for eer*one -hese actiities are designed to assist *ou in identif*ing areas of #or! and .eginning the grieing "rocess As #e reflect reflect on our ans#ers and notice the strong and een distressing feelings #e listed, #e ma* .e tem"ted to den* ourseles the "ain f #e su""ress this "ain, the "rocess of mourning and grieing #ill .e "rolonged further until it is finall* resoled resoled ather than aoiding this "ain, #e must feel it, let ourseles lie it, griee through it, and !no# that one da* it #ill also "ass -as! -as! is ad
DeGuzman Curriculum 16 form ne# attachments attachments -his is the last and "ro.a.l* the most difficult tas! to accom"lish accom"lish n orden/s orden/s .oo! 1E&, " 167, he "roides a 9u ote .* a *oung girl #ho #as ad
-he facilitator #ill "roide a list of resources, articles, and contact information for denominational su""ort, "astoral care staff, and local mental health counselors for continued #or! $lease see the >eferences? section for a list of hel"ful resources As identified identified in the .ac!ground literature, most "astors re"ort utilizing utilizing intra"ersonal means of co"ing including %cri"ture reading, "ra*er and meditation meditation -hese resources might might include hel"ful %cri"ture and scri"ted "ra*ers Additionall*, Additionall*, due to the lac! of social su""orts that studies hae identified for for clerg*, facilitators facilitators can encourage "artici"ants to share contact information and commit to "ra*ing for and .eing accessi.le to one another -his author suggests follo#2u" .* eent staff and a creation of a su""ort grou" for those interested Part 7* E2aluation +/0 &inute$-
DeGuzman Curriculum 18 -he facilitator #ould "roide an ealuation form #ith the 9uestions listed in the section .elo# titled >$lan for aluation of Model? and than! the "artici"ants for attending Plan !or Deli2er% and Loi$tic$ Recruitin and Aree&ent
-his curriculum is designed for use during esta.lished gatherings for "astors and ministr* leaders, conferences, and training eents -he #or!sho" can .e included in conference and training adertisements, materials, and "u.lications #ith a .rief descri"tion, so attendees are informed of goals of the session Agreement to grou" rules #ould .e esta.lished at the .eginning of the session t is im"eratie that "artici"ants are are informed of the nature and content of the session "rior to attendance Location and de$in
-he location should .e e9ui""ed #ith #riting surfaces "refera.l* #ith the o"tion of moing seats or arranging seating to accommodate for small grou" discussions %mall grou"s should .e limited to no more than si0 indiiduals to allo# for ade9uate time for all to share and "artici"ate in the discussion Due to the "ersonal and difficult nature of the to"ics of discussion, discussion, .o0es of tissues and refreshments such as #ater are recommended to .e made aaila.le and made easil* accessi.le to "artici"ants $ens or "encils and #riting ta.lets or sheets of "a"er are also highl* recommended, along #ith the "re2"rinted #or!sheets, ealuation form, and resources list Plan !or a !acilitator
-he facilitators can .e an* #illing minister or church leader #ho is #illing to engage #ith the materials in "re"aration of the session f "ossi.le, it is recommended that facilitators facilitators .e informed of a""ro0imatel* ho# man* "artici"ants #ill .e "resent for session for ade9uate materials to .e "roided -he facilitators #ould #ould .e res"onsi.le for reading through through the materials,
DeGuzman Curriculum 1E amending an* descri"tions and discussion "ortions, "rinting all handouts, and creating a resource list including local and denominational denominational resources -he facilitators are encouraged to share these tas!s #ith another staff mem.er if "ossi.le E(uip&ent need$ and plan$
A la"to" and "ro
An ealuation form #ill .e "roided after the session #ith the follo#ing 9uestions: Ho# #ould *ou rate the usefulness of this #or!sho" to *ou from 1not usefulN to (er* usefulN7 Ho# #ould *ou rate the 9ualit* 9u alit* of the materials "resented from 1"oorN to (e0cellentN7 hat as"ect of #or!ing through grief and loss addressed in this #or!sho" #as the most hel"ful to *ou Ho# can #e im"roe this #or!sho" Are *ou a.le to name the orden/s orden/s four tas!s of grief f so, "lease "roide an e0am"le of each tas! $lease rate the follo#ing statements from 1strongl* disagree7 to (strongl* agree7: am .etter e9ui""ed to #or! through m* o#n e0"eriences of grief and loss am .etter e9ui""ed to sere others o thers as the* #or! through e0"eriences of their grief and loss Appendi5 A #% Per$onal Lo$$e$ 4% Deat"9
DeGuzman Curriculum 1 1 -he first death can remem.er #as the death of: #as age: -he feelings remem.er had at the time #ere: & -he first funeral funeral #a!e or other ritual ritual serice7 eer attended #as for: #as age: -he thing most remem.er a.out that e0"erience is: 3 M* most recent loss .* death #as "erson, time time circumstances7: co"ed #ith this loss .*: 4 -he most difficult difficult death for me #as the death of: t #as difficult .ecause: ( @f the im"ortant "eo"le in m* life #ho are no# liing, the most difficult difficult death for me #ould .e the death of: t #ould #ould .e the most most difficult difficult .ecause: 6 M* "rimar* st*le st*le of co"ing #ith #ith loss is: 8 !no# m* o#n grief is resoled #hen: E t is a""ro"riate for me to share m* o#n e0"eriences of grief #ith a "arishioner "arishioner #hen:
OAda"ted from orden/s Grief Counseling and Grief Therapy, >Cha"ter E: -he Counselor/s Cou nselor/s @#n Grief,? "age 11'2111 Appendi5 B #% E5perience$ o! Deat" in #ini$tr%9
DeGuzman Curriculum &' 1 M* first e0"erience of death death in the church and #or!ing #ith a .ereaed congregant or famil* #as: felt: -he thing most remem.er a.out the e0"erience #as: & M* most recent e0"erience of death in in the church and #or!ing #ith a .ereaed congregant or famil* #as: felt: co"ed #ith m* o#n grief .*: 3 -he most difficult difficult death for me during ministr* #as: t #as difficult .ecause: 4 M* "rimar* st*le of co"ing #ith loss in ministr* is: ( -he follo#ing are the "eo"le in m* life #ho can go to for su""ort #hen am feeling oer#helmed:
OAda"ted from orden/s Grief Counseling and Grief Therapy, >Cha"ter E: -he Counselor/s Cou nselor/s @#n Grief,? "age 11'2111
Appendi5 ' #% Di$appoint&ent$ in #ini$tr%9 $lease res"ond to the follo#ing 9uote in the s"ace "roided .elo#: >-o .e a minister is to .e li!e a .allet dancer straining all muscles and en ergies into a daring lea" onl* to find the "artner not there to ma!e the catch ca tch or stead* the landing -o .e a minister is to hae learned onePs role in a "la* #ell, to .e committed co mmitted to the message of the "la* and "assionatel* geared for a "erformance, and to a""ear on stage to discoer the rest of the cast in disarra*, disarra*, un"re"ared, or a.sent -o .e a minster is to #rite an im"ortant letter, letter, to #rite energeticall* energeticall* and #ell, then to entrust it to careless messengers or, een #orse, a careless readerK-he minister/s #or! de"ends on initation and res"onse from others La#*ers and "h*sicians and nurses and auto mechanics ta!e charge Ministers "lant seeds Moreoer, ministers "lant seeds22on "ur"ose, as "art of their ministr*22on roc!* soil, #here the seeds are mostl* doomed-he ministr* of the God #ho has
DeGuzman Curriculum &1 eer "ursued an a"ostate "eo"le "recisel* in their faithlessness and .ro!enness is called to flourish e0actl* #here it can neer flourish, in those corners of life #here it is most needed and hence most un#elcome? Dittes, &''4, " 37
1 M* first first e0"erie e0"erience nce of disa""ointm disa""ointment ent in in ministr* ministr* #as: felt: co"ed #ith this disa""ointment .*: learned: & M* most most recent recent e0"erienc e0"eriencee of disa""oi disa""ointment ntment in ministr ministr* * is: feel: -he most difficult as"ect of this e0"erience is: 3 >-here is is reason reason for all of the grief grief the ministe ministerr feels and and more hat is is necessar* necessar* is that that the minister e0"erience the grief full*, lie full* in it, #or! full* through it; re"udiate neither the authenticit* and loftiness of the call to #hich ministr* #as res"onding, the im"ortance of the "artnershi" that #as e0"ected, nor den* the genuineness and fullness and authenticit* of the .etra*al, the frustration? hat it means and loo!s li!e to me to lie full* and #or! full* through the grief:
OAda"ted from orden/s Grief Counseling and Grief Therapy, >Cha"ter E: -he Counselor/s Counselor /s @#n Grief,? "ages 11'2111, and Ditte/s When the People Say No, >Cha"ter No, >Cha"ter 1: Ministr* as Grief or!,? or!,? "ages "ag es 121
Re!erence$
)la!le*, - - L &''87 Murder and faith: a reflected case stud* of "astoral interentions in traumatic grief Journal grief Journal of Pastoral Care & Counseling, 6112&7, 6112&7, (26 Dittes, &''47 When the people say no: Conflict and the call to inistry inistry ugene, @re: i"f %toc! Helsel, $ ) &''7 Liminalit* in death care: -he grief2#or! of o f "astors Journal "astors Journal of Pastoral Care & Counseling !"nline#, 6$3247, 6$3247,
DeGuzman Curriculum && McMinn, M , Lish, A, -rice, $ D, oot, A M, Gil.ert, B, a", a", A &''(7 Care for "astors: Learning from clerg* and their s"ouses Pastoral s"ouses Pastoral Psychology, Psychology, %$67, %$67, (63I(E1 htt":QQdoiorgQ1'1''8Qs11'E2''(24E&12* Bou#en, H M 1'7 ounded ounded healer: Ministr* in in contem"orar* societ* odgers, &''6, =all7 A "astorPs grief o.sered: Ministr* to an older "astor made me feel inade9uate, #hich ma* .e e0actl* #hatPs needed for God to use me an*time eadership an*time eadership Carol %tream, LN, '( 47, 47, 1'6R etrieed from htt":QQgogalegrou"comQ"sQido idSGAL 58CA1((&66'(S&1uSt0shracd&4EEitSr"SA@Bs#S#asidSfE'88ca..'3 4cfe.6a6&..3ee1(6af -em"le, -em"le, $ C, *lie, *lie, C 18&7 Grief #or! in the student "astorPs learning Journal learning Journal of Pastoral Care, '6 &7, &7, 1&&21&4
