Table of Contents Module One – Introduction............................. 10 Module Two - Influence 101 .......................... 36 The Truth About Influence ............................. 36 Old World Rules ............................................. 44 New World Rules ............................................ 47 New School Rules Of Influence ..................... 50 What Makes This Program Different .............. 63 The Way This Program Was Created ............. 66 Understanding The Mind ................................ 70 Information Processing Routes ....................... 74 Short Term vs. Long Term.............................. 75
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The Way The Program is Structured .............. 78 Part I. Persuasion Mastery .............................. 79 Module Three - How People Are Wired ......... 79 People Don‟t Even Know What They Want ... 85 People Become Confused Very Easily ........... 86 People Prefer The Path Of Least Resistance... 90 People Have Different Representational Systems ........................................................... 91 Conscious vs. Subconscious ......................... 102 Module Four - The Persuasion Foundation .. 105 Emotion vs. Logic ......................................... 106 A Word About Logic…. ............................... 114 The Triggers Of Mind Control...................... 127
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Obligation/Reciprocity.................................. 128 Contrast ......................................................... 132 Holding Tightly Onto Surrounding Objects . 160 Attraction ...................................................... 163 People Skills.................................................. 164 Similarity....................................................... 167 Proof.............................................................. 169 Explicit Norms .............................................. 170 Implicit Norms .............................................. 170 Scarcity ......................................................... 175 Module Five - The First Tier Of Persuasion . 201 Module Six– The Second Tier of Persuasion 225
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Module Seven –The Third Tier of Persuasion ....................................................................... 249 The Power Of Questions ............................... 250 Pacing............................................................ 268 Leading ......................................................... 271 Story Telling ................................................. 272 Know your purpose ....................................... 273 Know your environment ............................... 273 Set the stage .................................................. 273 Imagination leads to captivation ................... 275 Create shock value ........................................ 277 Keep it short and to the point ........................ 277 Have someone else pat you on the back ....... 278
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Work on the same level of intelligence......... 279 Be as vivid as possible .................................. 280 Switch time zones ......................................... 281 One story at a time ........................................ 281 Be conscious of the purpose ......................... 282 Proof leads to credibility ............................... 283 If they can relate, they will trust ................... 284 Module Eight - The Fourth Tier of Persuasion ....................................................................... 286 Overcoming Resistance ................................ 288 Reactance resistance ..................................... 288 Persuasion in a Business Setting ................... 294 Gaining Compliance ..................................... 299
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Keys to maintaining your ability to influence311 Part II. Influence Mastery ............................. 316 Module Nine - The Ten Human Needs ......... 316 Module Ten - Personality Types ................... 341 Openness ....................................................... 346 Identifying the Open Person ......................... 346 Conscientiousness ......................................... 346 Identifying The Conscientious Person .......... 347 Extraversion .................................................. 347 Identifying The Extrovert ............................. 348 Agreeableness ............................................... 348 Identifying The Agreeable Person ................ 349 Neuroticism ................................................... 349
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Identifying The Neurotic............................... 349 Reformer (Significance, Power) ................... 353 Skeptic (Power, Certainty) ............................ 356 Apprentice (Connection, Contribution) ........ 360 Detective (Power, Significance) ................... 362 Mediator (Connection, Contribution) ........... 365 Entrepreneur (Growth, Significance) ............ 367 Creative (Expression, Contribution) ............. 369 Guardian (Comfort, Freedom) ...................... 370 Enthusiast (Adventure, Connection) ............. 372 Motivator (Adventure, Connection).............. 376 Pleasure Seeker (Adventure, Freedom) ........ 377 Strategist (Contribution, Growth) ................. 378
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Commander (Power, Comfort) ..................... 379 Romantic (Love/Connection, Significance).. 380 Module Eleven– The Decision Making Process ....................................................................... 382 The Decision Making Process ...................... 384 Thinker .......................................................... 386 Influencing the Thinker................................. 391 Skeptic........................................................... 403 Influencing The Skeptic ................................ 410 Follower ........................................................ 420 Influencing the Follower ............................... 424 Leaders .......................................................... 431 Influencing the Leader .................................. 438
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Enthusiast ...................................................... 445 Influencing the Enthusiast............................. 450 Module Twelve – Conclusion ....................... 456
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Module One – Introduction
Welcome to the Code of Influence. Before we get started, I wanted to tell you a little bit about myself and why I decided to put this program together. After all, you did invest your hardearned money into this product. Therefore, I think it only is appropriate that I share with you exactly who I am and what qualifies me to deliver the information in this program to you.
(In most products that are sold for a profit, this is where the creator basically assures customers that they have invested their money wisely in someone who knows what they are talking about, preferably a guru or an expert, rather than some idiot who just likes to hear himself talk).
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Well, in actuality, I guess I‟m a little bit of both. But before we get into that, I‟ll tell you exactly who I‟m not. I am not a college graduate. I‟m not a celebrity. I haven‟t changed the world. And I‟m not some guy who has stumbled across some secret that is going to change your life with no effort. And obviously, I‟m not a liar.
What I am and always have been is a person who loves answers. I like to understand the way things work. I like to understand how a certain results are achieved. Sometimes the result itself doesn‟t engage me as much as the mechanics needed to accomplish the result.
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The reason why I am so fascinated by mechanics is because once you know the formula for a particular outcome, the possibilities and permutations are endless.
And that is what really interests me. One question that I‟ve always wanted to answer is “What’s the most important thing in life?” What‟s the one thing that would make everyone‟s life better? What‟s the one thing that equips people with true power, peace and happiness all at the same time?
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Is the answer to the Big Question love? How about money, health or perhaps freedom? Is it relationships, family or what about personal security in all of its forms?
Well, I guess the answer is different for everyone.
Some people feel that money can solve all of their problems while others can be perfectly happy being broke, as long as they are surrounded by people who truly love them.
For some people, money, fame, fortune and notoriety are meaningless. What matters to
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them is whether or not they are living their life‟s purpose and achieving their life‟s mission. Others will do whatever it takes to achieve celebrity status, as anything that remotely resembles plain or “ordinary” to them seems like failing. Once I understood that everyone‟s happiness and fulfillment depended on different things, I began to wonder what people needed to do to make themselves truly happy.
Well, the logical answer to this question is that it depends on a person‟s desire.
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If the desire to become a doctor or lawyer is what will make someone happy, then that person needs to focus on education more than anything else. If it‟s the desire to have a big family, then the person should focus on procreation. If it‟s the desire to help the poor, then the person should learn about philanthropy.
Seems pretty logical, right?
Then why do we see people who graduate from Ivy League schools at the top of their class fail to find the right jobs, while people who are less qualified and less intelligent find them easily?
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Why do we see people who have all the great qualities of a life partner die alone, never having the pleasure and fortune to find and experience true love? And on the contrary, why do we see people who are not equipped to be anyone‟s partner in life wind up finding themselves in countless relationships, breaking people‟s hearts as they go?
Why is it that even we follow the rules of what „logically‟ makes sense, we sometimes don‟t get the results, while others who follow them less (or don‟t follow them at all) do?
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These facts led me to think that perhaps there is a common denominator in this thing called life. I started to think that perhaps there was this one thing that if you lacked, your chances of achieving your results are drastically reduced. And at the opposite end, perhaps with this common denominator, you can easily make up for short falls and failures in life. Or in the case where you don‟t really have short falls, your results can be immensely magnified.
I realized that there is indeed a common denominator, and it is the ability to influence others. The reason why is simple: every result in life involves human interaction on some level. Whether it‟s through the process of
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achieving the result or sharing the fruits of the result once it has been achieved, human interaction (and relationships) is involved on some level.
Abundnace
Romance
Influence Wealth
Fame
And even in cases where it‟s not so much about the result, relationships are what nurture the soul.
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The soul craves interaction with other spirits and minds to magnify the human experience. Without relationships, a sane mind begins to go insane.
So regardless of what you want out of life, you have to realize now that you will need the involvement of others at least on some level to achieve it or truly enjoy it. It‟s that simple.
Your ability to influence others is going to supersede every other attribute that you have, including your talent, education, intellect, skill
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level, persistence or whatever else you bring to the table. Without the ability to influence, you can‟t fully capitalize on any of those things.
What good is it to graduate from Harvard if you can‟t influence someone to hire you? What good is it to work hard if you never get the right people to notice and help you move up in the world?
What purpose does it serve to have a talent if you can‟t influence others to recognize it? I think you get my drift. And if you don‟t, why the heck did you buy this program anyway? (Just kidding.)
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I realized this back in elementary school when my parents were called in to talk to the principal about my disruptive behavior. I was what most considered “a teacher‟s nightmare”. I was always calling out in class, constantly joking around and I put most of my energy into being a class clown. I focused on trying to make other students laugh.
I was never really interested in school work; especially math. In fact, I often have recurring nightmares about being a senior in high school wondering how I‟m ever going to graduate when I can‟t pass Math to save my life.
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To this day, I can still only perform basic arithmetic (and I mean basic!). English and writing, however, were different for me. While I wasn‟t exactly excited about those subjects, I didn‟t despise these subjects because they came much easier to me. You see, growing up as an only child, things can get lonely at times, which is why I often used my imagination. I have always felt that the greatest gift that anyone could have was the ability to imagine. Imagination has countless benefits and opens the door to endless possibilities, because it enables you to visualize the future that you want. This is essential if you want your future to really come into fruition. Another great benefit of imagination is that it enables you to discover radical solutions that may not
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necessarily be your regular options - through the use of your own natural creativity.
So when it came to writing, I was never got caught up in whether or not what I was writing was right or wrong or whether it was fact or fiction. I simply just used my imagination and let everything flow, like an effervescent fountain that never ceased.
When I found myself in unfavorable situations where options were limited, I did the same thing. I imagined what the result would look like if I did have options, and then I used my creativity to make these options a reality.
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As I got older, I realized that I would only do well in life if I chose a path that included the things that truly interested me. I know that seems like a fair statement to make about anyone. But I‟m on a whole other level. It is virtually impossible for me to spend any time doing something that I don‟t enjoy or find interesting.
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I have great respect for those who can endure the pain of doing the grunt work to get to the end, but I personally hate it and will only do it when there is no other option. Take exercise, for example. I‟ve tried to tell myself that I enjoy it, but I know in my heart I‟d rather be doing something else besides sweating profusely on an elliptical machine for 45 minutes. But unfortunately, that is one area where only I can do the grunt work needed to achieve the results, so I do it and move on. Back to my point…since I realized that I would really only become exceptional at something that I enjoyed and I really only enjoy music, finding answers and writing (and I know I‟m no
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rock star), I decided that my path in life would involve writing about the answers that I have found about this fascinating common denominator called influence. Plus, I‟ve always done fairly well in sales. At the age of sixteen, I had a cold calling job in finance, which resulted in people sending me (a young punk of a kid) thousands of dollars over the phone after a 10-minute conversation.
After that experience, I had another cold calling job. As it turned out, I came in number one in most payments received from customers.
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I then went into fitness corporate sales. I chose fitness because I feel it‟s truly something everyone needs. And in that business, I continued to excel winning countless awards and gaining promotions. About 6 years ago, I realized that I could make more money selling through my writing skills than I ever could trying to sell face to face. So I began to develop the craft of copywriting for some of the biggest names in internet marketing including Dr. Joe Vitale, Steve G. Jones, Mike Litman, Dr Joe Rubino and Kristen Howe, among others.
These people are highly respected in their markets, and it‟s not hard to understand why. Each of them brings an extremely high level of expertise to their area of knowledge.
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My job was to get the rest of the world to see that through my writing.
I was basically hired to ensure that the majority of people who visited their websites made a purchase, because they were convinced that these internet marketers had something truly powerful to offer.
And after roughly six years, tens of thousands of dollars, royalty checks, huge deals, joint ventures, business dinners and trips across the US to exclusive parties, I‟ve decided that I now want share what I‟ve learned and used to make myself and others financially free and successful
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with the rest of the world. (Of course, this includes you…if you‟re interested). And so that‟s where we are right now.
The Code of Influence is a blueprint which embodies everything I‟ve ever discovered about using the common success denominator called Influence to achieve success spiritually, emotionally, physically, financially and mentally.
It is the result of years of research, testing and real world applications of various bodies of knowledge including psychology, NLP, body language, mind reading, human desire,
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personality types and decision making processes all blended together. What I‟m about to share with you here is not only fascinating; it works.
Believe when I tell you that this information can change your life. I know that it sounds cliché and you‟ve probably heard that a million times, but if a guy from Brooklyn, NY who barely graduated high school can achieve financial freedom, find true love, have a family and cultivate deep meaningful relationships using this information, anyone can.
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There‟s only one catch. You have to actually do something with it.
They say knowledge is power right? Or as Napoleon Hill said: “Specialized knowledge put to use is power.” Knowledge by itself is useless if you don‟t put it to good use. It‟s like being in the middle of a great war with all your books on military strategies. Unless you can apply what it is in those books, you are in a really rough spot. After all, that‟s how everything great and everything that has truly made an impact has happened in the history of the world. Someone discovers something, whether it is how to build something or how to make money, and then
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other people basically feed off that information to expand and improve it. And so that‟s what every self-improvement or personal development product on the market offers: specialized knowledge that can be applied to change your life for the better. I mean isn‟t that why we buy these products anyway? Isn‟t it because we believe that what we will learn will in some way, shape, form or change us forever? Perhaps it will make us richer, smarter, more likeable, more successful, more talented, more focused, or more attractive …I think you get the point.
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Well, the reason that I know so much about how this stuff works is because I have spent nearly 15 years of my life immersing myself this selfimprovement stuff and, in the process, spent quite a bit of money. I have read countless books, listened to hundreds of audio programs (I prefer audios) and attended a good amount of seminars in my day. In truth, the majority of the stuff I have listened to or read has been pure fluff. A small portion of it has been insightful at best and interesting at the very least. And a select few programs and books truly succeeded in helping me to create more of an awareness or “expand my mind” to what I consider to be the truth (the truth varies for all of us) and more importantly to take action.
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As you‟ll quickly learn, action makes everything else effective. Inaction makes anything and everything worthless. Without action, you‟re nothing more than a spectator watching the movie called “your life” passing you by. Don‟t get me wrong, for years I was a spectator. I would immerse myself in all kinds of selfimprovement/personal development resources and tell myself, “This is the one… “This is the book, tape, or CD that is going to change my life.” Like many people, I was subscribing to the dream that external sources actually changed people‟s lives. I was looking for something to do the work for me. In reality, we change our own lives. We may become inspired or
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triggered by an external source, but what happens after that is the result of a conscious decision that we make.
Make a conscious decision today to change your life by taking action.
Take this information and put it to use in your life. I promise that you won‟t be disappointed.
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Module Two - Influence 101
The Truth About Influence Welcome to Module Two - Influence 101. Here I‟m going to give you a brief history on influence and discuss why this code works so effectively. Many people believe that influence and persuasion is the same thing. But in reality, persuasion is really just a part of influence. It is merely a component that can be used in the influence process but persuasion in and of itself is not influence. The main difference between persuasion and influence is that persuasion is when you use a
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set of tactics to gain compliance from someone or to get them to do what you want them to. Influence is a state of your identity. It‟s your presence. It‟s who you are. And when you attain that state of being truly influential, you gain what is known as conversion (as opposed to compliance) from someone Compliance is when someone does what you want them to but you haven‟t necessarily affected their belief system. What you‟ve affected is their thought process only. In other words, you‟ve gotten them to act in a way that they may not necessarily agree with deep down inside but they have complied nonetheless. They may just comply because of outside factors like social norms or immense, short terms rewards.
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Conversion on the other hand is much more powerful. Conversion is when you completely change someone‟s belief system. When you can do that, they will fully buy into your message. When they fully buy into your message, they will follow you even if you don‟t say anything at all. You become more of a symbol for what they agree with and identify with. In essence, you begin to share an identity with them. There is big difference if you share not only your message but your identity. Who you are right now becomes a part of the other person‟s identity, too. Influence is extremely powerful because it can in essence be used without any direct effort.
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Oftentimes, the most influential people are able to gain conversion and compliance from others simply because of what they've done in the past or who they are. The number one attribute of influence is credibility. Credibility ultimately makes you trustworthy, smart and knowledgeable. You appear experienced and capable of being whoever it is that you're trying to be. Take Oprah Winfrey, for example. Oprah has an immense credibility. People will listen to just about anything that she says simply because of what she has done in the past. Oftentimes, we will see companies use celebrities that have credibility to influence others through commercials. That's the reason why hundreds of thousands of companies send their products to the Oprah Winfrey show every year with the hope that she will speak about them. Even if it's
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for just 30 seconds! They are well aware of the powerful effect that even a 30 second endorsement from Oprah Winfrey can have. This is simply because her influential power is immense. Influence is about who you are and how people perceive you. Some people assume that influence is always a positive thing, but nothing could be further than the truth. Influence is the impression that you make on other people. It could be positive or negative. Adolf Hitler had an extremely powerful ability to influence as well, as he influenced an entire nation to do what he wanted. The problem was that he used his power negatively.
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In and of itself the power to influence truly is neutral. It is up to the influencer to decide whether it will be used for good or bad. My hope is that you take everything that you learn in this program and use it for ethical reasons. Don't use this information to manipulate or coerce people into doing things that will benefit you when you know with your heart that it might not necessarily be good for them. When you do this, your influential tactics will ultimately backfire and have a negative effect on you. So why is that the case? The fact is that reputation also contributes a lot to someone's ability to influence. If you have a reputation for being someone who is smart, knowledgeable or incredible, people will want to listen to you. Similarly, if you're a reputation for manipulating people or influencing them to do things that
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don't really benefit them, people will be less likely to listen to what you have to say. Eventually, your reputation will precede you to the point that you're incapable of influencing anyone with any self-respect. Reputations are extremely powerful. Sometimes the statements about you and your reputation don't even have to be true. Just the simple fact that a good amount of people are making a statement about you will create the social validity needed by others to believe that the claims are indeed true. We'll talk more about social validity in later modules. Aristotle first began to speak about persuasion and influence in ancient Greece. In fact, the first book ever written on persuasion was by
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Aristotle. It was titled “The Art of Rhetoric.” Every single thing that he wrote about in his book is still extremely relevant to the world of persuasion today.
Essentially, while Aristotle identified certain scientific aspects of persuasion, he also delivered his body of knowledge in a way that led us to understand that it could be perfected into an art form. Now, according to Aristotle, there are three essential components to persuasion that must be in place in order for it to work. These components include Ethos, Pathos and Logos.
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Old World Rules Ethos
Logos
Pathos Ethos refers to the character of the person that is doing the persuading. Aristotle believed that audiences could indeed be effectively persuaded if they felt that the person who was trying to persuade them was credible. On the other hand, if they viewed this person to be sleazy or untrustworthy, any attempt to try to persuade them would be continuously resisted.
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Aristotle also pointed out that Ethos is not a thing or a physical, tangible quality that resides within a person, but rather it is how an individual is interpreted by the person that he or she was trying to persuade.
Ethos could include the way they dress, their reputation, the way they carry themselves, their body type, the words that they use, the way they make eye contact, or their base of knowledge in whatever they are speaking about. Essentially, it is how the audience perceives the credibility of the persuader.
Pathos is the psychological state of the person that you are trying to persuade. This is the
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audience‟s state of mind. The emotional state of the listener can impact the outcome of the persuasion. People generally make decisions differently depending on the mood that they are in. For example, when people are upset, angry or in a bad mood, their judgment differs greatly from when they're in a good mood and are extremely happy. When it comes to Pathos, you must know the person‟s state of mind at the moment as well as that person's desired state of mind.
Once you determine the difference between the two, you can really begin to put this knowledge to use and work it to your advantage. By helping people get from whatever their current state of mind is to where they want to be, you will gain full compliance from them.
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Logos is the third prerequisite that Aristotle believed must be in place. This is the substance of your message or the meat and potatoes of whatever it is that you're trying to convey. According to Aristotle, human beings are generally reasonable people who make logical decisions that will somewhat makes sense to them.
New World Rules
The prerequisites and concepts that Aristotle had are key concepts in today's world. However, you must understand that the rules of persuasion have changed over the years.
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Today, it is more difficult than ever to persuade anybody for a multitude of reasons. The first reason is that we are living in the age of information. Aside from money, information is regarded as one of the highest forms of currency. With so much information being thrown at people on a daily basis via the Internet, TV and tons of marketing campaigns, people today are a lot more skeptical. Therefore, they do a lot more investigating when deciding whether or not information is valuable to them.
The second reason why the rules have changed is because aside from information overwhelming people, it is also much easier to access than it was in the days of Aristotle. Back then, there were no places like libraries,
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much less the Internet, where people could access thousands of pages of information on virtually any topic known to man. This lack of information is part of what gave Aristotle the ability to persuade as he did.
In today's world, people are more educated. They have access to an abundance of readily available information and anyone can get it in mere moments.
So in today's world of persuasion, there are three roadblocks that you will generally have to face. The first roadblock is the fact that people have access to more information than they did many years ago. The second is that consumers
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are more doubtful and skeptical. It takes them more time to review information. In the third is the fact that the Internet has opened up a wide array of choices that never before existed for people.
New School Rules Of Influence
Within the world of persuasion principles. These principles are nor evil or positive or negative. exist – the same way that the gravity exist.
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are universal neither good They simply principles of
The laws of influence and persuasion can be used in many different ways. Make no mistake; there are thousands if not millions of people out there that are using the principles of persuasion in negative ways. The reason that they're able to do so is because these principles work. My hope is that anyone reading this book will use the principles and powerful technique here not only enrich their lives, but also enrich the lives of the people they are trying to influence so that there is always a win-win situation.
Rule # 1 You Must Have an Audience - Let's face it; persuasion and influence are all about gaining the help and/or the compliance of other people. In order for this to happen, there must be other people involved. It doesn't matter if it's one single person, or hundreds or even
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thousands of people, in order for the persuasion process to take place – but there must be more than one party involved.
Rule # 2 You Must Get their Attention and Engage them– In order for the persuasion process to even begin, you need to get someone to listen to you. The only way that you can get someone to listen to you is by gaining his or her attention. The best way to ultimately get someone's attention is to create a reputation or brand for yourself so that people automatically know who you are and what you have to offer before they even speak to you.
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Once you become an expert in your field, people will know exactly who you are and what you are about. Until you get to that point, you need to begin to focus your energies on how to get the attention of people who have no clue who you are. There are many different ways to get someone's attention. The first is by striking up a conversation about something that you know interests them. You can do this by simply observing them. Just take a close look at their clothing or even their immediate environment. These things could tell you a little bit about their interests, and you can begin to open up your presentation by relating to them in that aspect.
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Rule # 3 There Must Be a Mutual Understanding - There must be a mutual understanding between both parties. You must understand the various components of your target, and he or she must understand your message. Second to having an audience, you must understand your audience and they must understand you.
The fact of the matter is that you could be giving a speech on where people can find $1 million, but if you're saying it in a way that they cannot understand, chances are your message will be lost along the way.
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Aside from your audience being able to understand you, you must understand that those rules play into each other. In order for them to understand you, you must communicate to them in a way that they understand. You can only know that by knowing about them first.
Make no mistake, persuasion and influence are all about understanding how the other party sees the world and delivering your message in a way that is congruent to that view. It is never about the way you see the world. Remember, if everyone saw things exactly the same way, there would never be a need to try to influence or persuade someone. We would all be living in harmony, making the same decisions and doing the same things without a hitch.
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But this is the real world – and in the real world, there are as many different beliefs about people and the world at large as the grains of sand on the beach.
This leads me to my next part of this chapter. I want to discuss something called adaptive persuasion. Adaptive persuasion is what makes your ability to influence so powerful. We're all different and we have different values, morals and beliefs. Ultimately, as we see the world in different ways, it is essential that you constantly adapt to the way the other party is seeing things when you are making your presentation to them.
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We see adaptive influence mostly in one-on-one sales conversations and sales presentations. It involves constant change in the presentation, which does involve more work. But ultimately, this approach will yield better results than nonadaptive influence, which I will get into a moment.
Adaptation is an extremely important part of all life on Earth. Every single species that lives must learn to adapt in some way shape or form at some point in life. Adaptation essentially is when you change a thought or a behavior in such a way that ultimately provides you with a better benefit.
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Non-adaptive persuasion is when you create a presentation or a message with the same intention of influencing another party, but it does not change as it is presented from one person or group to another.
An example of non-adaptive persuasion would be what we see in website sales copy marketing and advertising. In cases like these, mental triggers that resonate with most people or subliminal messages are implanted into the presentation.
The theory (and hope) is that because these messages or mental/emotional triggers resonate with most people, they will influence the general population of people being exposed to
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them. The good part about adaptive influence is that you create a message once and it forever does the work for you. But in exchange for that positive aspect, you trade the fact that your results will never be as good as those that you will see when practicing adaptive persuasion.
I have been a salesperson virtually all my life. In sales, we measure different ratios of a salesperson. Generally speaking, there are three ratios that we measure. The contact to appointment ratio is the number of people that agree to make an appointment out of the people that we have contacted that day. The second ratio is the show ratio, which is the amount of people that actually showed up to an appointment after they agreed to make one. And the third ratio that we measure is the close
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ratio, which is the amount of people that actually made a purchase versus the amount of people that you made the presentation to. In the sales industry, a good close ratio is between 70 to 80%, meaning that for every 10 people to whom you made a presentation, between seven and eight actually make a purchase.
In the world of Internet marketing, a perfect example of non-adaptive influence is website sales copy. When you arrive at a website that is marketing some sort of product, the website sales copy is the text that you read on the page that is designed to convince you to make a purchase. This presentation is created once and is plastered on the website forever with the hope that everyone who reads it will decide to take out their credit card and make a purchase.
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The conversion rate of the website sales copy is reflected as the amount of people that made a purchase after visiting the site. Ask anyone in the Internet marketing world what a good conversion rate is, and they'll tell you between five and 10%. That percentage is dramatically different than the 70 to 80% that we see in oneon-one sales, which take place in adaptive persuasion. The reason why the results are so different is because in adaptive persuasion, we can keep changing the presentation based on the feedback that we are receiving from the other party to make it more effective. This cannot be done in non-adaptive persuasion, which is why the success rate is so much lower.
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Rule # 4: Know the Game – You must know the game when it comes to influence. There are certain laws or principles that exist that you have to follow. The only way you can follow them is by knowing exactly what they are. Years of research and scientific evidence have shown us a great deal about the way people think, the way they behave, and ultimately, how they can be directed to think and behave in certain ways.
This is ultimately what influence is all about.
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What Makes This Program Different
Although there are many programs that claim that true influence can happen in a matter of moments, it is my opinion and experience that they are dead wrong! The type of process that they are really talking about has to do more with persuasion; not influence. As I stated earlier, persuasion is merely just a component of influence. It can be used in both short term situations such as trying to make a sale or talk someone off of a ledge or it can be used as tool that eventually leads to influence. As you will quickly learn, people feel more comfortable doing business with, comply with and agreeing with people with whom they have shared these actions within the past. Therefore, the more you persuade someone to do
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something, the greater the likelihood of you persuading them again and again and again. And that‟s really what this program is about long term influence. This is what also what separates this program from many others. Most programs on influence/persuasion are about short term results “How to get someone to say yes instantly by changing one word” or “How to increase your compliance rate by 30% by reframing.” Don‟t get me wrong; all that stuff fascinates me too and it will definitely help you become a master influencer but in reality, it‟s just a part of the code. Truth is most people who have studied influence/persuasion have already heard about all of those tactics. They are nothing new. In fact, you can read about most of them for free on my website www.InfluenceMaster.com. Don‟t worry, I‟m still going to include all those super cool mind tricks in this program because they are an important part of persuasion and I know people
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love them but please understand that true influence is not only about getting anyone to say yes in 10 seconds or less; it‟s about relationships. It‟s about getting them to say yes in 10 seconds or less and then getting to say yes in 5 seconds or less over and over and over again until eventually they say yes before you even say anything. They just subscribe to your message and what you stand for. They become a true fan. And that‟s what this program is going to show you. Here I‟m going to reveal the full Code of Influence, not just a part. That‟s what you paid for when you invested your money in this and I promise you won‟t be disappointed. So let‟s get started.
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The Way This Program Was Created The research into the field of behaviorism, what makes people do certain things, how people think and act and how influence is achieved still widely debated among different people. This program is the result of bits and pieces from the work of Sigmund Freud, B. F. Skinner, Kurt Lewin, Leon Festinger, Erik Erickson, Abraham Maslow, Paul MacLean and Ivan Pavlov. To put it simply, many of these psychologists formed platforms for others to build on and in some cases, their theories rivaled one another. After years of intensely studying their work and building relationships with others, I have taken bits and pieces (those bits and prices which I agree with and believe are correct) and broke them down into a simple code which I believe
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represents what it really takes to influence the mind of someone else. I‟m not a psychologist. I was never a good student. My attention span is extremely limited to things that really interest me so for me studying psychology interested me for the most part from a perspective of finding out how to influence others. Therefore it is the areas which contribute to this process that I studied intensely. These areas include behaviorism, social psychology, conditioning and personality theory. It is my belief that these areas tell us how a person can be influenced. And based on my interpretation of what I‟ve discovered, I have developed (what I believe to be) an extremely effective code of influence.
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The code (at its outer most layer) consists of 4 main parts: The Mechanics, The Human Needs, The Personality Type and The Decision Making Process. The Mechanics - The mechanics simply refers to your understanding of how the human mind works and which approaches work at what times.
The Human Needs - Each one of us has a dominant human need. It‟s the reason we wake up each day. It‟s what our soul is centered around. The Personality Type - There are 12 personality types. Within each one is a different belief system and paradigm of the world.
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The Decision Making Process - While many factors can dictate how we make decisions, most people have a certain way of making very important ones. It is my belief that these four components will lead you to influencing
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Understanding The Mind
Reptilian Complex
Limbic System
Neo Cortex
According to the Triune Brain Model which was popularized by a physician and neuroscientist by the name of Paul MacLean in the 1960′s, there are 3 major regions to the brain: The Reptilian Complex – Also known as the R-complex or the “reptilian brain” is the oldest part of the brain and is what MacLean believed
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was the first brain that humans developed over 100 million years ago. The reptilian brain is responsible for our survival instincts and processes like breathing, circulation, digestion and fight/flight responses. The Limbic System – This region supports functions like long term memory, emotion and behaviors like finding food and selfpreservation. The Neo Cortex – The youngest (or most recently developed) region of the brain is the area that most people refer to when they speak of the left and right hemispheres of the brain. This region in responsible for planning, logic, creativity, imagination and dreaming. In a perfect world we would be functioning in a fully conscious state using mostly the Neo Cortex but the truth is that doing so involves
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amounts of mental work and energy that most people are simply not willing to invest. Instead, they function primarily on “autopilot” in a survivalist state of mind most of the time. To keep things simple, people like to reserve their cognitive resources, not expend them. So rather than consciously pondering every decision that comes our way, we instead function primarily on “autopilot” in a survivalist state of mind most of the time. In doing so, we take mental shortcuts when processing information. These mental short cuts take place on deep subconscious levels so we don‟t even realize what‟s happening. The shortcuts work based on comparison. Every time we are presented with a piece of information, we subconsciously cross-reference it with similar information that we‟ve come
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across in the past and make a split-second decision. There are times however when we do move away from the Reptilian brain and begin using more of the Limbic System and the Neo Cortex. It really depends on how important the subject matter is to us. If it‟s something that we believe will have a huge impact on our life, we tend to process the information differently than when it doesn‟t. This brings us to the different paths we take when processing information.
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Information Processing Routes Peripheral Route – This is the route which requires less thinking and involves a lot of heuristics or mental shortcuts we discussed earlier. Here the person being influenced isn‟t really focusing so much on the content of the information itself as they are focusing on way that the information is being presented. It is in this state of mind that the triggers of mind control and things like framing work exceptionally well. Central Route - The central route occurs when the person being influenced is actively processing the information and paying very close attention to what‟s taking place. During the central route the person is taking A LOT of things into consideration. Firstly, they are looking at the source of the information which is you. They are first trying to see if they can
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identify with you. Then then they want to determine if you are a credible source. After that, they are deciding whether or not you are trustworthy. After that (and I know this may sound superficial but I assure you it‟s true) they take your level of attractiveness into consideration. And then they begin to analyze your message
Short Term vs. Long Term Short-term influence is what you use in one-onone interactions where your goal is to gain immediate compliance. This could include a sales presentation, a negotiation or a debate where you are trying to change someone's opinion on something. In short, it is to be used in situations where you are trying to gain immediate compliance from someone and (here
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is the key point) the decision (in most cases) doesn‟t involve a lot being at stake. So for example, short term influence works well when trying to convince someone to make a purchase on something or agree with you about a topic that isn‟t that close to their heart. And in those situations, they are effective. BUT, when you‟re dealing with decisions on a much larger scale where there‟s much more at stake, you must influence a person a much more differently. Now my belief is that the majority of products and resources available on influence are flawed for 2 reasons. The first reason is because they assume that persuasion and influence are the same thing. Because of that false assumption, they provide
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solutions that are based on short term persuasion and can really only be applied in those circumstances. The second reason that I feel they are flawed is because most of them are based on tactics that will only work when one is processing information through the peripheral route; which as I just explained doesn‟t happen all of the time. That‟s where this program is different. It will provide you with what you need to truly influence someone by first persuading them in the short-term and repeatedly persuade them while at the same time build a relationship with them over the long-term.
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The Way The Program is Structured While it consists of 12 modules, the Code of Influence is essentially divided into 2 parts. Part one will focus on short-term, immediate influence or persuasion tactics where your target is using the Reptilian brain and processing information peripherally. And in part two, we will move more into individualization by focusing on your target‟s needs, personality type and decision making process. Much of what you will learn here will help you when your target is processing information centrally.
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Part I. Persuasion Mastery
Module Three - How People Are Wired
As we have previously discussed, people make decisions based on emotion and then use logic to justify those decisions afterwards. Because of this trend, getting people to change can be very difficult. Most people are resistant to change. This is especially true when it comes to long-term change. It is much easier to get people to agree to short-term decisions. The reason for that is that people are stuck in their ways and habits are very hard things to break.
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This can be challenging, in particular, if a person's habits have caused him or her to behave in a way that is different than what you are asking in your attempts to persuade. Most habits are developed based upon previous behaviors. So generally, when you do something, you're doing it in the exact same way that you did it previously. This is what is known as “wiring.” People are wired to do things the same way all the time. The only way to get them to change their wiring is by first getting them to acquire new behaviors. I remember when I first started reading about habits; I found that the general rule is that it takes three weeks for 21 days to form a new habit. Well, new evidence is showing us that it really takes around 5 to 6 days to form a new habit. So essentially it really takes five days to create a new understanding within the brain.
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The problem is that there is a huge misconception that new habits erase old habits. And this is simply not true. The person still has a choice even though the brain has been conditioned to think in a different way. So in other words, getting people to go to the gym for one day is a simple thing to do. But asking them to do it for the rest of their life can be a lot more challenging. The fact of the matter is that beliefs are very personal to people, and changing them can be difficult. This is especially true considering the fact that people will specifically look for proof or evidence that supports whatever existing beliefs and they may have. That's why the first step in using emotions to guide a person's decision is to begin your presentation from a place that is in line with their beliefs. That will
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essentially open up the initial door and enable you to get in and bring their guard down. In order to change someone's belief, you must change the emotional attachment to that belief. Never try to use force to do this because all you will do is put this person into fighting mode where he or she will try even harder to protect the belief. A better approach is to ask people questions to help them see things in a different way and ultimately form different beliefs. They key here is that the belief must be there. The conclusion must be theirs and they must own it. If people do not feel like they are the ones that made the decision, they will ultimately feel resistant toward you. Another way to appeal to people's emotions is by showing them something called social norms. Social norms are basically a synopsis of the way the majority
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of people think or behave when it comes to a certain topic. Most people do not like to be considered outcasts, and so if you can show them that their decision is in line with what most other people do, they will begin to form a more positive emotion towards whatever it is that you're asking them to do. Another reason why using social norms to persuade people is so powerful is because it gives them an excuse to be wrong. You see most people do not like to admit they were wrong or incorrect on a certain topic. Generally speaking, the only way that somebody can be wrong or incorrect is due to a fault in his or her thinking. But if they can justify that they were wrong due to a lack of information, they will feel better. Therefore, if you present a piece of missing information to
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people, they can use that as an excuse for the reason why they were wrong in the first place.
Disadvantage (Negative State)
Motivation
Action
Pain is a greater motivator than pleasure, and people will do more to avoid it than they will to gain pleasure. In other words, people's fears can motivate them to do just about anything. The reason behind this is that again is something extra. This is because a gain puts you in a more positive space, whereas a loss puts you in the
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negative. No one wants to be in a worse situation than he or she already is in. This is why many people will work harder when there is a chance that they may lose their job, as opposed to getting a promotion. People Don’t Even Know What They Want – Now, most theories on persuasion involve finding out what the other person wants and then essentially creating a presentation that adapts to his or her needs. Through this method, others will be in compliance with what you're asking them to do. The problem here is that in reality, people don't even know what they want. So trying to determine what they want when they don't even know is extremely challenging.
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Each person has both a conscious mind and a subconscious mind. The conscious mind works from a logical standpoint; it can calculate, compare, and contrast in various functions that involve thought application. The subconscious mind works much differently. It works extremely quickly and computes at very high speeds. In other words, the subconscious mind doesn't think. It just exists and acts automatically. Interestingly enough, the subconscious mind is also capable of instantly categorizing and assigning labels to people that we meet. People Become Confused Very Easily – When trying to influence someone to make a decision, keeping his or her choices limited is
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extremely important. You'll learn later on in this book about the law of contrast. This states that the perception of something changes the moment that it is compared to something else. This is the reason why a somewhat attractive woman looks extremely attractive when she standing next to a woman that isn‟t really that attractive at all. The law of contrast is actually a powerful tool, because you can completely change the way something is perceived by your target. The key to using it effectively, however, is to make sure that you're not changing the perception of too many things by offering too many choices. I remember when I was working in the fitness industry, I was working for this large chain of fitness providers and a new CEO had all taken over the company. He had no fitness experience at all. He was a master when it came to retail, but did not really understand how a fitness business worked.
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He assumed that by offering many different types of memberships, we could appeal to many different types of customers. So he began to offer things like senior memberships, family memberships, gym switchers memberships, couples memberships, etc. These changes actually did not cause any increase in membership sales. And because of this situation, an all-new CEO was brought in by the Board of Directors with specific instructions to increase membership revenue. This CEO (unlike the first one) did have fitness experience; in fact, he had extensive fitness and sales experience. The very first thing that he did was to reduce the membership options to just one option and maybe two in certain clubs. This change had a dramatic impact on the amount of membership
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revenue that was generated, because the customer was not confused anymore. Getting someone to join the gym is a very emotional decision, because it involves extreme commitment. There are so many different excuses to not join that are running through the customer's head. As a result, offering more choices just confuses the potential customer even more. This is the case in any attempt to persuade someone. So regardless of whatever it is that you're offering, always keep your choices extremely limited. The smaller the better! Statistically speaking, if a person is presented with just one choice, odds are he will accept that choice more times than he would decline it. If you present a person with two choices, the odds are more likely that he will not choose either. When you begin presenting someone with more choices,
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the odds become even better that he will not choose any option. People Prefer The Path Of Least Resistance – As much as all of us would like to say that we are motivated and love challenges, the truth is that most people prefer shortcuts or the easy way out of something. It's no one's fault, it's just the way our brains are conditioned. Part of the reason why people prefer the path of least resistance is because people associate resistance with pain. And as I mentioned earlier, people will do more to avoid pain and to gain pleasure. When you structure your presentation, it is always important to focus on rewards and what people have to gain. But it's even more important to focus on what they may lose if they don't take
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action. This will help overcome any associations that they have with experiencing pain from complying with your requests. People are influenced more by the way a question is framed or presented rather than the content of the question itself. People Have Systems –
Different
Representational
Generally speaking, there are three different ways that people interpret information. One of the biggest mistakes that people make when trying to influence or persuade others is to deliver their presentation based on what they think is right, what they think is fair and what they think makes sense.
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In other words, people assume that the most effective way to gain compliance from others is by sharing their own perspective or point of view. The reality is that when you are trying to persuade someone, you must first gain his or her attention. This can be quite challenging, because most people really don't listen, they just simply remain quiet and wait for their turn to talk. Every time you make a presentation based on your point of view, all you do is reinforce the behavior characterized by people not listening to you; they're just simply waiting for their turn to talk. The key to gaining their attention quickly and engaging them is to construct your presentation around their view of the world, as opposed to yours. Remember, if everyone saw the world the same way and shared the same opinions, there would
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be no need to influence and persuade. Everyone would naturally be in compliance with one another. The method by which you construct your presentation around their view of the world is by determining their representational systems. Representational systems are nothing more than the way we think, talk, understand and represent the world. In neuro-linguistic programming (NLP), there are three recognized representational systems, which include visual, auditory, and kinesthetic.
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Visual people relate to the world generally by the way they see things. When they speak, they will use terms like, “I see, what you're saying” or “I can see why you would think that way.” Visual people like to see the world in terms of pictures. Therefore, creating a visual story or painting a picture for someone with this representational system will be more effective than anything else you might attempt. They also like to observe others and may be
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fascinated with photography or things that generally involve visualization. These people also tend to enjoy reading and watching movies. What's interesting is that they usually remember names as a result of a visual cue that they received. For example, when they first meet a person, something about that person's face would remind them of the person's name. Visual people are also very concerned with their appearance, and they work better when following directions that are clearly written down. When trying to influence a visual thinker, your best bet is to provide him or her with written documentation in the form of directions, proof or a general explanation of what you're speaking about.
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Next on the list are auditory people. Auditory people assimilate information by tuning in or listening to hear what it is that they are being told. They also enjoy talking with others. Conversation is something that they find very interesting. For auditory people, the world is represented by sound. Therefore, to get their attention and engage them, you must say something that sounds very appealing to them. Just as visual people like to look at directions, auditory people would rather hear directions read out loud by someone else. Retaining the information that they are looking at can be difficult. However, it is much easier for auditory people to hear the information.
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Auditory people like to use phrases like, “That sounds good,” or “That is clear as a bell,” and “Listen to me.” Simply put, auditory people understand spoken language more than anything else. Therefore, when making a presentation, focus more on the way that you are saying things as opposed to writing things down or trying to create a vision for them. The third type of representational system is called kinesthetic. People who fall into this category make decisions and behave based upon the way something feels to them. You could call them touchy-feely people. They relate to both touch and motion.
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Kinesthetic people assimilate information with their feelings and sense of touch. And because of this, they are very skilled in certain areas. As an example, they are typically known to acquire a physical skill faster than the average person. Common phrases that you may hear a kinesthetic person say are things like, “Callous” or “All washed up.” They may also use phrases like, “I feel you” or “That feels right.” They also like to give analogies that relate to the way you would feel if certain events took place. Instead of saying, “I was really mad,” they would say something like “My blood was boiling.” The key to any persuasion attempt is to build rapport. Rapport is basically the connection that you create with people, which lowers their
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guard and makes them more receptive to your presentation.
One of the most effective ways to build rapport is by determining which representational system a person has. If you find that he or she uses phrases like “Seeing your point” or “Looking ahead to the future,” chances are this person is a visual thinker and you should communicate with them in a way that is conducive to their representational system. Aside from understanding your message more clearly, they will also feel naturally connected to you, as people generally feel bonded or connected to those that remind them of themselves or those with whom they have things in common with. The next time you begin a
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conversation with someone, pay attention to the way he or she communicates. You'll begin to notice that people generally fall into one of these three categories, and you will be better equipped to communicate with them. 1.) People make impulsive decisions and then stand behind that impulse as if the decision was made logically with a lot of thought behind it. 2.) When a person‟s decision turns out to have good results, he or she is quick to take the credit. When the results are unfavorable, the person tends to blame external sources like timing and luck. 3.) People make decisions based on emotion and then use logic to justify those decisions. 4.) People are unaware of the fact that the manner in which a question is framed plays a
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bigger role in how people respond to it than the content of the question itself. 5.) When making decisions, people overemphasize the role of consequence or pain nearly 3 times as much what‟s really at stake. 6.) People tend to avoid perceived risk. 7.) Most people are not equipped to really calculate the chances that an event will or will not take place. 8.) People tend to make decisions independently, rather than seeking the advice of someone else who can provide a different perspective. 9.) Most people will take a sure thing (even when it doesn‟t make sense) as opposed to
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taking the risk of gaining something with 50/50 odds. 10.) People are unaware of how they can become influenced by specific questions, which unconsciously change their minds.
Conscious vs. Subconscious
The subconscious mind is incapable of thinking or making decisions, and it will never have these capabilities. All it simply does is assess the surroundings and respond in a way to avoid pain, fear, consequences or any other type of negative associations. The crazy thing is that in most human beings, the subconscious is controlling most decisions. What this means is
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that most people are behaving under the direction of something that can't even think! There are many instances where the subconscious mind provides great benefits. These are situations in which a history or experience of successful decisions are involved. Before we go any further, realize that your intuition is nothing more than your immediate reactions and the way that you feel about themnot the way you think about them. In cases where your previous decisions were correct, your intuition will serve you positively. If, however, you do not have extensive experience in making good decisions when it comes to certain areas, your intuition will be questionable. For example, if you have extensive experience in cooking, and generally make delicious dishes, your intuition will, in most cases, serve you
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positively when deciding how to create a dish using different ingredients, measurements, cooking methods etc. However, if every time you attempted to cook, you created a disaster on the plate, you would probably avoid cooking more and more. The bottom line is that this is nothing more than an attempt to avoid pain, fear, consequence or any negative emotions that are attached to things.
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Module Four - The Persuasion Foundation
Welcome to Module Three The reason I entitled Module Three “The Foundation” is because in order for everything else that you're going to learn to actually work, you have to understand the concept that it was built upon. Just as you can't build a house that will stand up without the right type of foundation, you can't create an effective ability to influence without understanding the foundation by which it works.
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Emotion vs. Logic
As human beings, we would like to think that when we make decisions, we scrutinize and evaluate the information that we‟re given and then ultimately make a logical decision based on our evaluation. In reality, however, nothing could be further from the truth. Human beings very rarely make decisions that way; most of the time our decision-making process takes place without us even realizing it. This is because when living in the in the age of information, there is just not enough time for anyone to really evaluate every single piece of information that comes our way and then decide what we‟re going to do with it.
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Let's face it; thinking is hard work. We have to think about what we‟re going to wear to work, what to do at work, what we‟re going to do with our lives, how we are going to get what we want from our children, what to make for dinner, what our futures will be like, what our children's future is going to be like, etc. That‟s a lot to take in!
There are so many things in life to think about that to consciously ponder every single decision that you're going to make is almost impossible. So instead, what we have are mental short-cuts that we use to dissect all of this information and make rapid decisions. These short-cuts appear in the form of preconceived ideas about what we believe or how we believe certain things should be. When we come across something that
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involves making a decision, we subconsciously cross-reference it with all the preconceived notions and beliefs that we have and then make a decision. This is why human beings are generally susceptible to the mental triggers that I'm going to speak about in this book. Activating these mental triggers takes place on a subconscious level, which means that when people respond to the triggers, they don't even realize that they're doing it.
Much research has shown that over 90% of the reason behind a person's action to make a purchase is associated with a decision that takes place on a subconscious level. What that means is that most of the time when we buy something, we‟re doing it for reasons that we really haven't even fully developed in our conscious minds.
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Now there are many reasons why people don't really think about making decisions. It could be the fact that with so much information available, people get overwhelmed or sometimes the decision really isn't going to impact our lives that dramatically. Or, it is just simply that doesn't involve much research or thinking.
The bottom line is that as humans, we love taking short-cuts because it makes the mental work much easier. How many times have you walked into a store and relied on the sales person's advice or brought a friend along to get their opinion when buying something? Most people will never admit this, but many of us can buy something just because of the way it looks or because of the label that's on it. Have you ever purchased a piece of clothing because of
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the manufacturer‟s name as opposed to investigating the quality of the clothing and the fabric itself?
Realize this; you can never really logically understand why human beings behave in a certain way, because we are not logical people. Instead, we are emotional people making decisions primarily based on emotions, but we think we are logical.
Therefore, the only way to predict how most people will behave is to organize them in groups, provide some sort of stimulus and then monitor the response. These are known as
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studies. Most of the time, the results that they provide prove how illogical people really are.
Countless psychological studies have shown that people react more to the way that information is presented to them rather than the content of the information itself. In this next part of the book, I'm going to explain how to use a body of knowledge built on psychological factors and show you how you can get people to behave the way you want them to. True masters of influence and persuasion are very well aware of these triggers and how to use them to their advantage. And they do so very, very often. While it took me many years to research these mental triggers, how they work and how to apply them, the good news is that once you learn how they work, they become second
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nature. Think about the first time you tried to ride a bike. In the beginning, it seems like the hardest thing to do in the world. But once you get how to ride a bicycle, you‟re set for life. You never forget, it always works and it really doesn‟t even involve much effort. Well, that‟s exactly the way mastering the triggers of influence works. Once you get it down, it will remain that way forever. You won‟t even have to think about how to use them, just like the first time you learned to ride a bike.
The triggers that I am going to speak about are universal laws for peripheral processing. When you act in accordance with them, they will yield the desired result when your target is processing information peripherally or using the Reptilian brain.
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When information is being processed centrally, you and the person that you're trying to persuade consciously try to understand exactly what the conversation is about and then process that information. With the central route, there is a lot of evaluating going on. People are trying to decipher the pros and cons, benefits, rewards and consequences of whatever decisions they make.
When the target is taking the peripheral route, there is no time to evaluate. There is virtually no time for processing information consciously. During this approach, we are activating the mental triggers that I'm going to speak about. When this approach is done really effectively,
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you‟ll gain more compliance from others than you ever thought possible.
A Word About Logic….
In a world where people are driven primarily by emotions, logic does have its place.
I've read tons of books on sales and dedicated most of my life to mastering the art of selling. Many sales experts or gurus claim that every decision that we make is primarily an emotional one, and that logic is used later to justify that decision. This is true. Even the most logical decisions are driven by an emotion. Take the decision to not stand in front of a truck going 60
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mph. While it may appear that this is a logical decision because you don‟t want to get hurt or even die, it is the emotion of fear that is ultimately driving that decision. Here is what most of the gurus don‟t talk about…. Some people like to think they make decisions logically, like “thinkers,” for example. These people are not swayed by emotional arguments. They like hard data and facts that support a particular point of view. But this desire to make decisions logically is still driven by the emotional need to be logical. Therefore, when persuading these types of people, it‟s important to appear that you are appealing to the logical side of their brains. However, keep in mind that you are still triggering emotions within them as well.
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Emotions are essentially what fuel the world. Emotions are what create love, hate, war, life, death and just about everything else that we do. But make no mistake; logic does play a role in the emotional experience. And therefore, you must always remember to balance tapping into logic and emotion when influencing certain people. People are definitely more likely to believe what you say based on logic. But ultimately, it is their emotion that will move them to take action. Many different studies have shown that more than 90% of the decisions that we make are emotionally driven. Yes, we use logic afterwards to justify our actions and why we did certain things. However, ultimately, it is emotion that prompts us to first take action.
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When using emotion to guide behaviors or thought processes, you can sometimes first engage people using logic, and then tap into the emotion to get them to take action. For example, let‟s say I wanted to persuade you to buy a car. But it was a $250,000 Ferrari, which you knew logically you cannot afford. The fact is that we would never even get to the influence process. Because you've already made a logical decision, it would not even be worth it to speak with me.
Back to my point, we as human beings like logic in some cases. And in those cases, it‟s extremely valuable. For example, when we are trying to draw conclusions based on evidence that's been given to others, we use logic. In fact, for an argument to even make sense or to even be
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worth speaking about, it has to be true and valid, which means there has to be some level of logic involved. Once all of that has been established, then we can move into the emotional part of how this works. There are various types of logic that you can use to influence someone, and one of my favorites is the analogy. Basically, an analogy is when you reconstruct your point using an example of how your point makes sense, but it's done using a completely different situation. The reason why I like analogies so much is because they enable me to get to the point fast. It opens up a new perspective for the person to understand what I'm talking about. One of the first rules of influence is that the audience must understand what you're saying. And oftentimes, just repeating your point over and over again
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doesn't do the job. If you can create a different scenario with a similar meaning, chances are your audience will be able to see things in a different way and they will ultimately agree with you. Statistics are another great way to use logic to persuade someone. People love statistics. Statistics prove that a general number of people believe, act or behave in a certain way. What this leads to is one of the mental triggers, which is called social validation. When people see that a majority of other people are thinking or acting in a certain way, they assume first that it must be right or it must be correct. Secondly, this supports your case. If you are referencing a statistic that indicates that a certain event has taken place numerous times, it brings logic to the table. You can use this logic as evidence in
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your presentation. Have you ever seen a book cover that says “Number one bestseller” or “Over one million copies sold”? This tells the customer that many other people have bought this book and subconsciously sends a message that says the product must be good if so many people purchased it. When using logic to influence, there are a couple of different rules that I like to follow: Rule #1 – Third Party Evidence Is A Must –
First, whenever you use evidence, use it from a third-party expert rather than presenting it from yourself. Using a third-party expert or thirdparty opinion shows the person you're trying to influence that it's not just you that believes what
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you're saying, but someone with knowledge and expertise feels the same way. This is why testimonials from others (particularly experts) are so powerful.
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Rule # 2 – Use Up To Date Information –
Always use information that is updated, new and relevant to the times. I can‟t tell you how many books I've read where the author is trying to make a point, and he or she will bring up a study of something that took place 10 years ago. It automatically turns me off and makes me think that he or she is probably not using the newer studies because the consensus has changed since then, and the author doesn't want to counteract the point that he or she is trying to make.
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Rule # 3 – Use Evidence That Your Audience Can Relate To –
Always make sure that whatever evidence you're going to use is congruent to your audience‟s belief system. This goes back to one of the very first rules, which is knowing your audience. You don't ever want to make a presentation using evidence that is not in line with your target‟s beliefs. Doing so may offend someone or completely turn your target away to the point where he or she will no longer be receptive to your presentation. Logic is how we persuade people on a conscious level, but emotion is the method that we use to persuade people on a subconscious level. It takes place in a way that people don't even realize it is happening.
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Human beings formulate emotions based on how we feel about certain things. We generate these feelings due to a number of different factors. Most of it has to do with past experiences, upbringing and society. Those three things contribute to how we feel about certain things and how we develop morals, beliefs and values. When something is in line with our morals, beliefs and values, it positively impacts us, strikes our emotion and moves us to take action. However, when something is opposed to our beliefs or morals, we will take action, but in a different way. In fact, usually we will take action in the opposite direction to avoid whatever is being presented.
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There are many different types of emotions that people experience including confidence, fear, patience, anger and kindness, but in my opinion, there are a couple of different emotions that can be used to persuade someone. The first one is worry. Psychological evidence shows that people make decisions based on two things- one is the desire to feel pleasure and the other is to avoid pain. Worry is the feeling of anxiousness, or uneasiness that something unwanted is going to happen, and worry is ultimately associated with pain. So this emotion clearly is something that can be very powerful in getting a person to take action.
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When persuading someone by tapping into his or her emotions, there are a couple of different things you should pay attention to. Aristotle highlighted three aspects that are very important. The first is the nature of the actual experience, so this could be where you are at the time of your presentation. There's a big difference between the emotional states of people at a funeral and the emotional states of people at a wedding. Always keep that in mind when using emotion to influence. The second thing that you need to pay attention to is the type of people that you are directing your message to. General values, morals, beliefs and thought systems vary from culture to culture and from region to region. What may work in one part of the country with one culture may be not work in another part of the country where the
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culture and belief systems are drastically different.
The Triggers Of Mind Control
It is now time to explore the triggers of persuasion. These triggers are sometimes called “The Laws of Influence” because they have been proven time and time again to work when one is processing information peripherally. The triggers consist of various tactics that have been shown to cause the majority of people to behave in a certain way.
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I. Obligation/Reciprocity -People generally feel obligated to return favors or good deeds that have been done to them by others.
The first trigger is known as the obligation trigger. Many years ago, when Dr. Robert Cialdini - whom I consider to be the "godfather” of influence - was beginning his psychological research to really determine what makes people think and act in a certain way, one of the essential aspects that he touched upon was the reciprocity factor. People generally feel obligated to return favors or good deeds that have been done to them by others. What this means is that if you do something good for someone, chances are they will feel indebted to you and want to return the favor. This is a
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technique that has been used for thousands of years.
Even in ancient times when people didn't have money and barter was the general method of exchange among people, using reciprocity was just as popular then at as it is now. We see this phenomenon often in sales. I've been a salesman for practically my entire life. Most of the selling that I did was in the fitness industry. When someone would enter the club asking about membership information, the first thing I would do is offer the prospect of free bottle of water. This instantly sends a subconscious reciprocation trigger to the prospect causing them to feel obligated to me in some way, shape or form. And in most cases, the way that the
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prospect returned the favor was by purchasing my product or service.
Now I'm not saying that by simply giving the prospect a bottle of water or a gift of some sort will always result in a sale. But the likelihood of you making the sale increases dramatically when you do give something away. There's an old saying that says, “Smiles are contagious.” This means that when someone smiles at us, we smile back. This is the obligation trigger in its rawest form. Many times, we receive smiles from people that we don't even know or that we have no history with and/or have never done anything with. But when they smile at us, we automatically feel indebted to smile back at them.
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There have been many multimillion-dollar negotiations that began with one party bringing a gift to the meeting and presenting it to the other party before the negotiation even begins. This is a goodwill gesture, which sends a message into the mind of the other party that you‟re here for a win-win and you want all parties to benefit. This lowers the resistance of the other party and makes them more receptive to whatever you have to say. It also gives them an internal feeling of obligation.
Just as people feel naturally obliged to return favors, they also feel very uneasy if they don't return favors or if favors are not returned to them. The reciprocity or obligation trigger is nothing new and has been used for thousands of years. The key to making it work is by knowing
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what to offer and ensuring that it will be on the same level of what you expect in return. I've seen countless people try to apply the obligation trigger only to have it not work because the other party had different idea or viewpoint about whatever was contributed to them. Always make sure you‟re on the same level as your target. I. Contrast – The perception of something changes when it is compared to something else. The next trigger that I want to talk about is the contrast trigger, which shows us is that something always looks different when compared to something else. This is often why you will see a price tag on a retail item that has been crossed out with a lower price. Imagine
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walking into a store to buy a pair of jeans that you have been looking for. You have been debating about whether or not you really want to spend the money on another pair of jeans, but you‟ve convinced yourself that you need them and you‟ll probably buy them if you can find them “at the right price”. You find the jeans in your size and look at the price tag, which says $79. You begin to wonder if the $79 is the right price. Now imagine if that same thing had happened again only this time the price tag said $110 slashed down to $79. Now, compared to the $110 price tag, the $79 seems like a good deal. However, in reality, it‟s the same price. The only thing that changed was your perception once it was compared to something else. This is the contrast trigger in action.
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We see this in sales all the time. We make a presentation, and when we get to the price point, we always set a higher price, which becomes discounted down to a lower price. Through this means, the prospect feels like he or she is getting a deal. If I'm selling you something for $50, and I present it to you at $50, you will look at that figure and think for a few seconds about what that figure means to you based on previous experience, values and general beliefs. You will then decide whether or not $50 is, in your opinion, a lot of money. But if I presented the product to you and told you that it costs $300, but you could get it for $50, that product instantly appears more valuable to you. That's how the trigger of contrast works. You take something, compare it to something else and you instantly change the perception of what you are presenting to other people.
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Many real estate agents use the trigger contrast when trying to sell homes. They will purposely show a prospect or a potential homebuyer a house that is falling apart prior to showing the house that they really want to sell them. When the prospect sees the second house, it instantaneously looks more glamorous and better maintained than the first house. This again ties into the fact that people need to use mental short-cuts when making decisions, as we very rarely have the time to assess and logically make a decision. We need to cross-reference whatever is being presented to us to whatever we've been presented with in the past. Generally speaking, if whatever we‟re being presented with now seems better or equal to something we were presented with in the past, we will take action to obtain it. If it seems worse, we will not.
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There are many different ways to use the trigger of contrast. Here are a few examples that have worked very well for me in the past. The first example is drilling down to the minimum. If I were selling a gym membership that costs $75 per month, I would show the prospect how that figure works out to be just $2.50 a day. This completely changes the person‟s perception because he or she never thought about it that way. Most people will question whether or not they can afford $75 a month. But few people will question whether they can afford $2.50 a day. This goes into the second way that you can use the trigger of contrast by changing a person's perception. You can frame your verbal packaging differently. The first question people would always ask me when deciding to join the gym is if the club gets crowded. I certainly would not want to lie to them, but I would
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respond by saying “The usage levels vary from time to time with Mondays and Tuesdays having the most activity”. More activity sounds a lot better than crowded. There are several ways to use the contrast trigger. You can either add more benefits/rewards or reduce the consequences/risks. All you simply need to do is present the situation in a way that you know the other party will not like and then re-present it again in a manner that seems more beneficial to them. As I said before, each one of us perceives things in a different way, but we all perceive each thing that we see differently when we compare it to something else. It is for this reason that a person weighing 200 pounds looks thinner when standing next to someone that weighs 300 pounds, but looks heavier when standing next to someone that weighs 175
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pounds. This is how the human mind makes comparisons. Another way to use the contrast trigger is to create a different frame of reference to shift someone's focus. What this does is completely change the perspective by which the other party is seeing things. The best time to apply the contrast trigger in this format is when there is a part of your presentation that you feel may deter the other party. For example, if you were selling a car that was due for a tune up at 100,000 miles and the car already had 90,000 miles on it, instead of saying this car will need a tune up in the next 10,000 miles; you could focus on how the car can have 100,000 miles before getting its first tune-up. The first time that I ever saw the contrast trigger used in this way was when I was a young boy. My mom always prevented me from eating junk
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food. So any time I would get to eat any junk food, it was a rare treat. I loved Cheez Doodles. I remember loving them so much that I would read the back of the bag to see what ingredients were in them. I remember a saying on the back of the bag that read something like “Deep fried to ensure crispiness and great taste”. This is a clear example of how the Cheez Doodle manufacturer is focusing on the benefits that result from deep-frying rather than the health risks. Another way to apply the contrast trigger during negotiations is through the concession process. Let's say you want to sell your television to someone for $100. If you start at $300 and make several concessions, you will finally arrive at the number that you wanted, which was $100. The reason for this is because $100 seems very inexpensive or cheap when compared to the $300 figure. If you had started
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out just slightly higher than $100, like with $150, and began making concessions you would, in all likelihood, wind up having to sell your TV for a much lower price than you originally wanted. The effectiveness of the contrast trigger (or any trigger for that matter) can also vary greatly because of timing and circumstance. For example, let's say I work for a multilevel marketing company and I was trying to find new recruits. Let's assume you had some interest in getting involved, but you already had a full-time job that demanded a lot of your time. In presenting the benefits and rewards that you receive by becoming involved, I would focus on the extra income that you would earn. You would then decide whether or not it would be worth the extra time that you would have to invest to make that extra income. But had I
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made that presentation to you on the same day that you just lost your job, you would see things much differently. Because of the timing, I can now use the contrast trigger in a way where I am comparing multilevel marketing income as primary income rather than extra income. What this example clearly illustrates is that our ability to behave and make decisions can be greatly impacted at any moment depending on timing and circumstances. Therefore, when using the trigger of contrast, make sure that you are always aware of the level of pain, pleasure, reward or consequence as it pertains to the other party. I. Internal Conflict – We must act in a way that is conducive to our morals and beliefs. The next trigger of control that I want to talk about is the internal conflict trigger. As humans, we feel the need to act in accordance
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with our core beliefs and values. In other words, it is very difficult for us to behave or act in a way that is different from what we really believe deep down in our hearts. Leon Festiger‟s greatest contribution to psychology was formulating something called the cognitive dissonance theory. He stated when our actions conflict with our attitudes or beliefs, we become uncomfortable and we are motivated to change the behavior that is incongruent with our own beliefs. The method by which the internal conflict trigger works is by leveraging the fact that people tend to act in a manner that is congruent to their beliefs and values. When we act in a way that is different than what our values and beliefs represent, we find ourselves in a state of discomfort. Acting in a way that is not consistent with your core beliefs and values can produce anxiety,
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negative emotions and all-around feelings of general discomfort. It creates an immense amount of tension within us, and an overall feeling of being off balance. Human beings like balance and we will do just about anything to achieve it and relieve ourselves from internal discomfort or uneasiness that is caused when we act differently than what we believe is right. When we experience this internal conflict that I speak of, we don't like it. We will do whatever it takes to experience balance once again. There are many different ways in which we do this including the following: Rationalization - The first method is that we‟re going to cover is rationalization. Rationalization is when someone finds excuses or reasons why the loss of balance or inconsistency is acceptable. We often find ourselves justifying our behavior or decisions to make ourselves feel better.
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Denial - Next on the list is denial. Denial is probably the most common and easiest form of reducing the tension. In this case, the person simply denies that the problem even exists. He or she can do this by ignoring the entire situation or choosing to believe that the source where the information is coming from is not reliable. Correction - The next method that we use to reduce internal conflict is trying to find evidence to support why the information we received is inaccurate. Reframing - The next method is called reframing. Here, the person essentially changes his or her interpretation of the meaning behind the message that was given. As a result of reframing, a person either changes his or her thought process entirely or reduces the level of
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value concerning the entire matter, as if it‟s just not that important to them. Separation - Last but certainly not the least is separation. In this case, people simply separate themselves from events or matters that are causing the internal conflict. They do this by saying things like “One thing has nothing to do with the other.”
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All of these examples simply illustrate how we alleviate the internal conflict within by doing whatever it takes to convince ourselves that we made the right decision. This is why in sales it is extremely important to get the prospect to make a purchase on the same day. Once a person has made a purchase, he or she is mentally invested in the product or service and will then do whatever it takes to convince him or herself that the right decision was made. A word about commitments… Of all the results that we can achieve by using the internal conflict trigger, perhaps the greatest is getting people to keep whatever commitments they make. Researchers have found that people who gamble are much more confident about the outcome of the game after they have placed their bet. In general, most people want to follow through on their commitments. It is not
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because of their own personal values and morals; it‟s because of the way they feel they will be perceived by society if they don‟t. This is why getting commitments from people is extremely important to the influence process. The more public the commitment is, the more effective the trigger is. There are three types of commitments that you can get from people. The first is a written commitment, which is basically an exchange of promises that is documented and signed between two or more parties. The second type is what we call a minor commitment. The purpose of a minor commitment is to eventually lead someone into a major commitment. People tend to buy or comply with people that they have bought from or complied with in the past. Therefore, if you can gain a commitment in any form - even if it is small - it will help you
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because it will eventually make it easier to gain a larger commitment. The third type of commitment - which is extremely powerful – is a public commitment. Anytime a person makes a commitment in front of other people, he or she feels a burning desire to support that commitment no matter what. People do not want to look like hypocrites to the public. As an effective sales manager for many years, I not only had every one of my salespeople put their commitments in writing, but I also had them do it in front of everyone during team meetings because I knew this would instill in them a burning desire to keep their commitments and not look like failures. Here is how you can put the internal conflict trigger to full use. First gain a commitment (publicly if possible) from the other party. The more public the commitment, the more likely it
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is to be kept. Second, you want to gain what I call “gradual and continuous” confirmations. What I mean by this is that you start out with smaller requests that gradually lead to bigger ones. Gaining these types of confirmations do two things. First, they open the door for the possibility of the other party complying because you're starting out small. Secondly, it begins the process of them complying with you. The more people comply with you, the easier it will be to gain compliance from them in the future. One thing you must keep in mind when you are gaining commitments from other people is that these commitments must be voluntary. The person must choose to commit to whatever it is that you're asking of them. You do not want to use force in any way, shape or form, because if you do, this process will have a poor result. People ultimately want to do what they feel in their heart. And if you force them into doing
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what they believe is what you want, rather than what they want, the internal conflict trigger will backfire on you. In this case, the person internally feels one way and you have forced him or her to act in a way that is different than that. Eventually, this person will have to return to behaviors that reflect his or her inner values. Once you've gained the commitment, the next step is to create the conflict. You do this by showing the other party how their thoughts, decisions and behaviors to not comply with what you are offering is causing them to not keep their commitment. Once you have done this, the person will feel the sense of internal conflict, uneasiness, anxiousness and discomfort. This is where you offer the solution to resolve the internal conflict that resides within them through your product, service or point of view. So again, the three steps to using the internal conflict trigger are:
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1.) Gain a commitment 2.) Create the conflict 3.) Offer a solution to resolve the conflict
Commitment
Conflict
Solution
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I. Connection - The link that exists between others can be enough to create the emotional need to act. The next mental trigger that we‟re going to talk about is the connection trigger. The link that exists between others can sometimes be enough to create the emotional need for someone to take action. Have you ever met someone for the first time and within mere moments you feel an instant connection to this person? It's almost as if you have known this person your entire life. This connection to the other person makes his or her ability to persuade you stronger than someone that does not have that connection. Connection is an extremely powerful thing, and the reason for that is because personal connections are centered on emotion. And when the emotion is strong enough, it can propel a person to do just about anything. When
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creating connection, there are four main factors that are involved: Rapport - Rapport is what is known as the instant connection between a person and another person or one person and a group of people. In sales, the stronger your rapport is with someone, the more likely it is that you will be able to convince him or her to purchase your product or service. In fact, in many cases there is an imaginary line that you sometimes have to cross to make your point. The more rapport that you have with someone, the more room you have to cross that line and make your point. Have you ever noticed that you are less likely to hold certain things back during an argument with a close friend or a family member? In some cases, it's exactly what you did not hold back that caused you to win the argument.
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When you don‟t have rapport with someone you must be more reserved. When you are being reserved, you sometimes cannot say or speak the winning word or sentence that's going to close the deal. Simply put, the more rapport you have with someone, the more likely you are to gain compliance. Sometimes rapport alone can be enough to gain compliance. I can't tell you how many times I was able to just pick up the phone and convince someone to help me without even really telling that person anything about what is involved. That's how strong the rapport was between me and people! One of the most powerful ways to create rapport is through body language. Yet, this is also one of the most powerful ways to destroy it. Whether you realize it or not, you are constantly sending and receiving communication signals with other people without even saying a word. Our bodies are constantly giving off certain
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messages that are being subconsciously read by other people. Statistics show that we are perceived verbally only 7% of the time. We are perceived vocally 38% of the time, and we are perceived visually through body language 55% of the time. The majority of the way people are perceived is through their body language. To fully capitalize on and leverage body language, you must not only understand the signals that you give off through body language, but you also must master being able to receive and pick up the signals being sent out via body language by other people. When you can accurately figure out what another person is thinking by his or her body language, you can really take things to the next level. There are many different ways to persuade people, but because we are all different, different methods work better for different people.
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One of the most important methods that you can use to figure out which triggers will work best is through understanding the body language of the other person. In my opinion, the most important beacon of body language is the eyes. If you pay close enough attention to the direction of someone‟s eyes, you can easily see if a person is lying to you, uncomfortable with the interaction, confident with what he is about to say, upset with you, nervous and most importantly, truly engaged in what you are trying to convey through the various channels of human expression. The second body part, which is also extremely important in terms of receiving body language signals, is the hands. We can learn a lot about a person by the way they use their hands.
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For example, a person with clenched fists will be perceived as someone who is angry or is feeling a lot of tension at the moment. When your hands are tucked away in your pockets or behind your back, people assume you're hiding something or you‟re holding something back. Taking your hands and placing them on your hips will make you appear stronger, more confident and more dominant. Covering up any part of your face, like your mouth, nose or eyes etc, will make you appear dishonest.
One of the most important things someone can do with their body is the method by which they shake someone's hand. A strong handshake signifies confidence and trust in the relationship between both parties. A weak handshake conveys a lack of interest in the relationship. Your legs are also very important. When a person points their feet directly at you - if they
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are facing you – they are probably very interested in what you're saying. If they are pointed in the opposite direction, they probably have little interest in what you have to say and cannot wait for you to shut up so they can move on. If a person is tilting his or her head toward you in your direction, he or she is probably very interested in what you have to say. If someone‟s head is tilted away, he or she is either not interested in what you have to say or there is a lack of trust on some level. Other signals that you can pay close attention to when it comes to body language include: Hand On The Cheek – This means the person is evaluating or considering what you are saying and really thinking hard about it.
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Head Nodding – This means the person is showing genuine interest in understanding and has the desire to know more. Leaning In – This means the person is showing that he or she is interested, engaged and eager to know more about what you're saying. Leaning Away- This means the person is feeling discomfort and resistance. Fingers In Mouth – This means the person is either annoyed or impatient and wants to leave. Relaxed Posture – This means the person is showing that he or she is open to the conversation. Fidgety – This means the person is nervous, impatient or simply bored with what you're saying.
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Holding Tightly Onto Surrounding Objects – This means the person is definitely anxious or nervous. Hand the cheek
Head nodding
Leaning away
Leaning in
Relaxed posture
Fingers in your mouth
Fidgety
Holding tightly to surrounding objects
You may be familiar with a powerful concept called Neuro Linguistic Programming or NLP, which was created by Richard Bandler and John Grinder. Two of the key elements of NLP are mirroring and matching. What this means is that we basically act in a way that is similar to
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the other person. This behavior creates a connection. Many times, we do this without even thinking about it. Have you ever noticed that you may talk or act differently around certain people? You may use a different type of slang, a different tone of voice or you may even use certain terms that you know that person can relate to or will find funny that you would not use with others.
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Well, when applying mirroring and matching through NLP, you are simply adopting a more systematic approach to what you do naturally. People have various aspects that you can mirror and match including their voice, their mood, their emotion, their breathing, their language and their energy level. The stronger the mirroring and matching is, the higher the probability that you will be able to influence and persuade them. And when the mirror or match is broken, the ability to influence and persuade will be less likely. In fact, the probability will even be less than it was before you even knew this person. Think of matching influence account. matching
it this way; the more mirroring and you can do with someone; the more deposits are being put into the bank When you break the mirroring or pattern, it‟s as if money has been
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taken of the account so you are now at a loss and have to make up lost ground. Attraction - The second factor in connectivity is attraction. Whether we want to admit it or not, the more attracted we are to someone, the more likely we are to comply with his or her requests. When I speak of attractiveness, I am not only referring to physical attractiveness, although that is one aspect of the game. Physical attractiveness is definitely very important to the influence process. Even though looks are not everything, in most cases they are the first thing. Our perception of how others look is the first thing that we can judge them on because we haven't spoken to them yet. Obviously, we cannot change our looks. However, we can do things to make ourselves look more attractive including dressing nicely, keeping up with trends and keeping ourselves clean looking and groomed.
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Although important, physical attractiveness is not the end to all, because there are also nonphysical factors that can elevate a person's attractiveness including his or her ability to care, make other people laugh and also this person‟s level of intelligence. In fact, in the long run, the nonphysical factors can actually outweigh physical ones. Haven't you ever noticed that some people can become more physically attractive or less physically attractive over time depending on the way they act or carry themselves? People Skills - The next factor in using the connection trigger are your people skills. Your ability to deal with other people in general is going to have the greatest impact on your ability to succeed at anything in life- especially in your ability to influence and persuade. The two most important factors that I have found work best for
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me when it comes to people skills are humor and respect. Humor is an extremely powerful technique in influence, because it creates attractiveness, lowers resistance and makes people more open to what you have to say. It can also gain the attention of people that are not listening to what you have to say. Humor is extremely powerful and must be used in the right way. If used incorrectly, it can destroy your chances of gaining compliance. When using humor, you must know the right time, place and overall energy surrounding your self and the other person. I've also always found that respect will ultimately gain you large amounts of compliance from other people. If people respect you, chances are they also agree with you or what you have done on some level or another. If we do not respect someone, we do not agree with the decisions, actions and behaviors of that
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person. But when we do respect them, we trust their judgment. Respect is so powerful because it can allow someone to be in compliance with a request that they might not even agree with simply because they respect you enough to trust your judgment. Respect is not something that can be gained overnight. It generally takes time and proof of what you're capable of before people will show you respect. When people do show you respect, always be grateful and sincere. If people are telling you their problems or coming to you for advice, chances are they respect you greatly. Never ruin that by criticizing them or making fun of them. Using someone's name is another great way to build people skills. Every time you say someone's name, you show him or her that you are paying attention, are genuinely interested,
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and care about whatever the level of your relationship is with that person at the moment. Similarity - The last factor of using the connection trigger through similarity. We tend to be more compliant or agree with the opinions of people that we feel we are similar to, because we feel we can relate to them more. And if we can relate to other people, chances are their thought patterns and values are similar to ours. Therefore, if we think and act the way they do, chances are we will not feel internal conflict, because our morals and values are the same. For this reason, it is extremely important to determine the morals and core values of other people, so you can create the similarity between the two of you and gain compliance. The easiest way to do this is to pay attention and observe what you see about other people. This includes the way they dress, the books they
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read, their hobbies, general interests and what they enjoy doing. Remember, people will connect with you more if they feel there are a lot of similarities between you and them.
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I. Proof – We believe that if it worked before, it will probably work again. Next we are going to talk about the proof trigger. While emotion is what will ultimately get someone to take action, it is perceived logic that will open up the possibility of them taking action in the first place. One of the biggest ways that we exercise logic- or at least what we believe to be logic - is by taking a look at what other people have done and the results they‟ve experienced. This method of looking for proof does two things: First, it shows us that a certain method of doing things is effective. Secondly, it makes us feel the method is widely accepted, so it must be correct. Every one of us wants to fit in. We want to belong and we all want to be part of a certain
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social group. It is human nature to feel this way. That‟s why oftentimes; we want to see what the majority of people have done in certain situations. In most cases, we will assume that if enough people did something, it must be the logical or correct way of doing things. We make these judgments based on social norms and there are basically two types that exist: Explicit Norms - These are ultimately written, documented and/or spoken rules that are either accepted publicly or within a certain group of people. Examples include an employee handbook at a place of employment, the policies and procedures of an organization, or street signs. Implicit Norms – These rules of the game are usually not as openly stated as explicit ones. Implicit norms include traditions or accepted rules of “the right thing to do,” such as saying
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hello to someone when you meet a person for the first time or not putting your elbows on the table when you eat. These are norms that have been put in place over the years by society that most people have a basic understanding that they should follow. In cases where we don't know what the norm is, we will seek to find it. This is where social validation gives us is the short cut that we are looking for. Rather than investing the time, energy and hard work of researching a certain topic and figuring out whether or not we should act on it, we simply
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just
look
at
what
other
people
do.
Implicit norm s Explicit norms Social validity
People in advertising and marketing know the power of social validation works extremely well, which is why they put things like “over 1 million copies sold” on the cover of books. This sends a message to us that says since over 1 million people have bought this book, it must be worth buying. Therefore we should probably buy it, too. There are many different ways to put social validation to work. When trying to be persuasive, if what you have to offer has been
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socially validated by the majority of people, most people will be interested in it. When it comes to social validation, there are a few rules that I always like to follow. Rule # 1 - The bigger the group, the more likely you will succeed in persuading the group using validation. The higher the number of people thinking, acting and behaving in a certain way, the greater the likelihood that more people will follow. Rule # 2 - The second important factor is the level of identity involved. The more people can identify with what the majority group is doing, the more likely they are to get involved in it. If we hear that a large number of people have bought a certain book on particular topic, it will open us up more to the possibility of doing it, because we see that so many other people have done it. But it must be a topic that we can
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identify and relate to; otherwise, we probably would not have any interest in it at all. Rule #3 - The third and most important rule of social validation is that the principle has to be extremely clear. So the factor that is that's making it so large among the public is the very factor that you want to exploit. This could include the fact that it‟s the best-selling, the most effective, the cheapest or the longest lasting.
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I. Scarcity – The less available something becomes, the more people want it. Scarcity is the method used to create urgency so that someone will take action. Ultimately, we can make the greatest presentation in the world as to why someone should comply with our request and he or she can logically and emotionally agree with everything that we have presented. Still, people need a reason to act now. The scarcity trigger is the most effective trigger that you can use to get someone to take action immediately. It is human nature to always find something more appealing and interesting when the odds of getting your hands on it are less likely. We see this in the dating world all the time. The challenge of courting someone who is not always available seems to be something that people find themselves to be obsessed with. In
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most cases, when a person shows all of their cards and becomes readily available, the spell is broken and there is no longer an element of mystery surrounding the person. Whenever our choices become inhibited, limited or lessened, we become more likely to desire those choices on a much stronger level. Scarcity can make any product seem more valuable and interesting. It makes people take action immediately because they do not want to take a loss. Loss in general, is a feeling that most people try to avoid. This goes as far back as childhood. The minute we are told we cannot have something we simply want it more. The reason for this is because the minute we feel there is a potential to lose something, we begin the thought process of how we can stop that from happening. This is called preventative action. And the key word is action. Whatever our reasons may be for doing it, we begin to
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take action. That is ultimately what you want the other party to do when trying to influence them. In all my years of being in the Internet marketing business and writing sales copy, the scarcity trigger is one of the most important tools that I have used to get the customer to take action. And in today's world, the more successful Internet marketers have become successful because of their ability to apply the scarcity trigger in new and creative ways. Things like limited supply, first hundred callers and countdown clocks on webpages are driving more and more people to click the order button. Now more than ever, there are numerous ways for you to use the scarcity trigger. Here are some of my favorites:
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Restrict Freedom - As I said before, we always want what we can't have and the minute we are told something will go longer be available, we seem to want it even more. That‟s the moment when the desire and urgency to act immediately goes up. The best way to implement this is to simply create a situation where whatever you have to offer is now going to be limited or will soon not be available any more. In sales, we call this the take away close. If you remove your prospect‟s ability to have what you have to offer, you will increase his or her desire to have it. Limitations - The second method that you can use is limitation in the form of space, numbers, access or time. The minute people feel like they are competing to get something, their desire to have it will increase. Always give people deadlines. It is human nature for us to structure our actions around deadlines. Without them,
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people have no definitive time to know when they must take action. Therefore, they can spend endless amounts of time procrastinating. Loss Potential – Last but certainly not least is the potential to lose something. People need to realize that if they do not act upon whatever it is that you have to offer, they may lose something. People are generally motivated by either pain or pleasure and truth be told, pain is actually the greater motivator of the two. Since loss equals pain, it is very important to focus on what someone risks losing if he or she does not act. Here‟s an example. If I told you that if you went to the gym every day for a month straight, I would give you $10,000, your decision to go would be based on how badly you need that $10,000 and you probably would do it. But if I told you that if you did not do the gym for 30 days straight that I would automatically remove
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$10,000 from your bank account, you would probably be even more motivated to take action. The reason for this is because in the first scenario, if you don't win the $10,000 - while that might not be fun - you have not lost anything, so you are right where you started. In the second scenario, you are now in the negative and have lost something.
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VII. Verbiage – Sometimes it’s not what you say, it’s how you say it. Sometimes it is not what you're saying to someone, but the way that you're saying it that will make an impact and cause a person to take action. Your message can be perceived in various ways depending on your verbiage. Take the following statement for example: I didn't say he hit his wife. There are many different ways that we can actually make this statement depending on the emphasis on the words. Putting emphasis on certain words changes the way the person you are speaking perceives the information. Read the following statements out loud and each time, put emphasis on the word that is in bold. I didn't say he hit his wife.
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I didn't say he hit his wife. I didn't say he hit his wife. I didn't say he hit his wife I didn't say he hit his wife. I didn't say he hit his wife. I didn't say he hit his wife. While each one of these statements has the same words, they all convey a different message. That is how the verbiage trigger works. Words are extremely powerful and every time we use them, we can create mental visions, which then instill feelings within someone. Words like disease sadness, depression, and hatred bring feelings of negativity, while words like
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happiness, joy, fulfillment and success instill good feelings within us. Your word choice in the influence process is extremely importantespecially if you're speaking to an auditory person. An auditory person is a person that is more open to suggestion and processes information based on the way things sound. Generally speaking, there are three types of representational systems that people use to process information: Auditory – When you make decisions based upon the way something sounds. Kinesthetic – When you make decisions based upon the way something feels. Visual – When you make decisions based upon the way something looks.
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Therefore, if you're speaking to an auditory person, the words that you are using are going to have very powerful effect, so you must be extra conscious of words that may turn this person off as well, as the words that may actually prompt him or her to take action. As an example, working in the fitness industry for many years, you learn to use certain words versus other ones because they sound better to the customer. When they join, we ask them to sign a piece of paper, which says they agree to pay for the service. But we never call that a contract; we call it a membership agreement. We don‟t ask for a signature, we ask for an “okay”. If they asked me if was getting paid a commission, I tell them that there is a fee for my service. When I was trying to convey my point, I never told them that I'm trying to sell them something; rather, I said that I wanted to get them involved in what we have to offer.
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Remember that the way that you verbally package something can also completely change the perception of something. For example, if I wanted to tell you that my Internet service is extremely fast and that no other brand is faster, I could say that no other brand works faster even if my brand doesn't fall into that category. Storytelling - Storytelling is one of the most effective ways to persuade someone. People love to hear stories. When they do, their minds become organically engaged because desire to know the outcome of the story. One of the most important parts of the story is the mental images that vivid speaking produces. When you're speaking vividly, you're basically creating a picture for the people to who you are speaking, which will then help them use their imaginations more efficiently. We do this by making them feel what we are speaking about in the story that we‟re telling. I do have a couple
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of rules that I generally like to follow when it comes to verbiage. Rule # 1 Speak Simply And Clearly – Speak clearly and don‟t use complex words that your audience may not know the meaning of. It‟s essential that your audience can understand every word that rolls off your tongue. If they don‟t, you risk losing their attention due to the fact they are too busy trying to understand what you are saying. When that happens, they are no longer engaged. If I was giving you directions to go find $1 million, but I was saying it in a language that you couldn‟t understand, chances are you would never find the money because I would never have prompted you to take any sort of action. The same is true if you use words that people do not understand; they will not take action. Secondly, you don't want to use words that are
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abstract or unclear. One thing that you never want to do is confuse the person that you trying to gain compliance from because that will only lead to procrastination. Ultimately, that person will not make a decision. Always use language that is a verb driven meaning it includes action verbs. This will engage your prospect‟s emotions both on a conscious level and a subconscious level.
Rule #2 Keep Your Sentences Short And To The Point - You never want to overwhelm people with what you're saying, because if you do, you will lose them. As I said before, once you've lost them, it‟s pretty much pointless to continue your presentation. Rule #3 Use Volume Accordingly - Always make sure that when you're speaking, the volume is the same as it would be if you were in
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a Starbucks talking about a potential business deal. All parties come with the understanding that while it is a public place, the people there are having conversations and trying to get work done, so it's not the right time to raise your voice. If on the other hand, if you're an expert persuader who was the hired to be a motivational speaker and you're giving a speech in front of thousands of people, you don't want to keep your voice down. In this case, you want to project your voice and speak with lots of energy and enthusiasm. The point being is that there are times when you‟ll need to raise your voice and times for you to lower your voice, but you should always be conscious of that and know which choice is appropriate based on the environment.
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Rule # 4 If Nothing Else, Master Articulation - The ability to properly articulate is priceless and extremely important when it comes to verbiage, because it enables people to better understand what you're talking about. Sometimes, you can make a statement, but people will not agree with it simply because they don't know enough about it. If you're able to articulate your point effectively, you will then enable them to understand it better and perhaps change their opinion of it. People who can articulate their points well are also very much admired by others because it makes them appear intelligent and well versed. Rule #5 Pay Attention To Your Pace - The pace at which you speak is also very important. Pay very close attention to how fast or slow you are delivering your message. You may be saying some of the most important things, but if you're speaking too fast, your message may
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become lost. Or you may lose the listener‟s attention because he or she is trying to follow up on what you said last. By the same token, you don't want to speak extremely slowly, because you can bore someone and completely lose his or her attention as well. Rule #6 Use Comparisons - One of the most effective parts of verbiage that I have ever used is comparison. Anytime I'm able to take the situation and completely reformat it by comparing it to a similar situation only with different events or circumstances, I can engage the listener much more effectively. Sometimes people don‟t agree with what you‟re saying simply because the concept may not make sense to them. If you can compare it to something similar that does make sense to them, it will make them more receptive to what you‟re saying.
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VIII. Expectations - People generally act in the way that other people expect them to. As individuals, we can sometimes make decisions and behave based upon how others expect us to. This is known as the impact of suggestion in general, and it holds true for behaviors that are both positive and negative. We tend to fill the expectations that people have about us. We all want to be admired, liked and respected. And in our minds, if we can fulfill people's expectations, we believe they will like us more. This can work both positively and negatively. If you constantly expect a person to act in a bad way, chances are they will eventually take you up on your assumptions. There are various ways to communicate your expectations. Ivan Pavlov was a famous hypnotist and physiologist as well as a Nobel
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Prize winner. He was most noted for his ability to get dogs to salivate every time they heard a buzzer. Pavlov would ring the buzzer and then feed the dogs over and over again. Eventually, every time the dogs would hear the buzzer, they would expect that they would soon be fed and therefore, they will begin to salivate. You can actually do the same thing during the influence process with your audience in various ways, which include: Assumptions – The expectations that we have are usually based on the assumptions that we have about people or groups of people. I remember growing up as a kid; I was not your typical grade A student. I was always finding myself in some sort of mischief and had created a reputation for myself for being a troublesome kid. As time progressed in school, more and more teachers, parents and children began to know my reputation. I continued my behavior
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because I felt as though they were expecting me to behave this way. I basically created an identity as a troublemaker for myself when I was around this group of people. Reputations are a powerful thing and most people feel the need to live up to them whether good or bad. This is exactly how the expectation triggers work in sales. We use this trigger all the time by assuming that the sale was already made. So if I was presenting a product or service to you, and I was trying to get you to visualize using it, I would ask questions like “So when you purchase this car, will you be driving it to work or for pleasure?” I have already assumed that the sale has been made. I am expecting that the sale will be made and I am subconsciously layering those expectations into the prospect‟s mind so that eventually he or she will comply with my expectations. You can also do this by
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asking questions that assume the decision for compliance has already been made. The expectation trigger is something we often find in NLP through the use of embedded commands. When using embedded commands, you are communicating to the conscious mind, but sending a message to the subconscious mind at the same time. Basically what you're doing is bypassing the conscious mind to have direct communication with the subconscious mind. You could do this either in spoken language or written language. Recent research has shown that we can actually use embedded commands to completely reformat our beliefs or values without even realizing that it has even happened. This is what makes embedded commands so effective. We have no time to use our conscious mind to logically scrutinize the information.
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Our subconscious mind has already made the decision for us. Pacing and leading are also powerful NLP tactics that involve use of the expectation trigger. When you're pacing, you are establishing rapport. You are making the level of communication easier too. And when you're leading, you‟re simply drawing the prospect closer toward your viewpoint. Using both of these techniques allows you to direct a person‟s thoughts and actions so that they are congruent to what you want to ultimately gain, which is their compliance. In the pacing process, you can connect with the other party either verbally or nonverbally to build rapport. When you do this, others feel like they're aligned with you, and ultimately, they feel more comfortable being around you. In pacing, you simply use statements that are universally accepted. When you do this, you remove any chance of disagreement or
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noncompliance, and generally others will agree with what you're saying. Pacing involves speaking a lot about topics that have already been proven to be valid or are socially accepted. Once there is a synergistic relationship between you and the other person, you can create the expectation of agreement between the two of you and this person will be more likely to comply with your requests. I. Association/References – People make mental associations with everything they see. In a world filled with chaos, tons of information and hard decisions, one of the easiest ways for us to take a mental short-cut is to create associations with certain things, including colors, sounds, endorsements and music. Associations are different for everyone and certain symbols or references may evoke
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different feelings in different people. One of the most effective ways to utilize the association trigger is through something called anchoring. Anchoring is a technique that isolates the feelings, emotions and memories that took place at a certain point in someone's life. In theory, if you can bring people back to a mental state that they had some other point in their lives; you can then get them to act in a certain way that is congruent to the emotions that they feel. Anchors can be produced both internally and externally, and it does not take a long period of time to establish them. In fact, in some cases, you can create them through one single event. The key to the effectiveness of the anchor is the level of emotion that is attached to it by the target. In other words, the more emotionally connected a person is to an anchor, the more effective it is. Have you ever noticed how some
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people can develop phobias after just one bad experience with something? All they have simply done is associated the fear of something with an event. Every single time something even remotely related to the event is mentioned, the emotion of fear begins to resonate within them.
X. Commitment - People usually follow through on commitments, especially when they are public. I spoke about the power of commitments earlier but to piggyback on the concept of anchoring, the key is to always have people link positive feelings to you and always allow them to own the decision to commit. Regardless of how much positive emotion they have linked to you, the reality is people will regret their decision to commit if they feel that it wasn‟t their decision.
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Realize that people are constantly moving back and forth between the conscious, logical mind and their emotions, which are causing them to experience a multitude of feelings as you present your offer. The only way to stabilize them is to gain their commitment immediately and ensure that they understand that their decision was smart and favorable to them. Commitment is extremely powerful. In most cultures, people who do not follow through on their commitments are frowned upon. And what's so great about this is that it is public knowledge, so no one ever wants to be placed in that category. In fact, when people even begin to think about not following through on their commitments, they begin to feel very uneasy inside. That is why it is essential to gain commitments from people as soon as possible, and the more public those commitments are, the more powerful they are.
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The first commitment or form of compliance is the most important, but it is also the most difficult to obtain.
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Module Five - The First Tier Of Persuasion
Okay, now that you've learned about all the fundamental tools and aspects of persuasion, we are now going to dive into the actual process of persuasion and discuss we will now discuss the steps. Your Mind Set –Essentially, persuasion is really just manipulating the state of mind of someone else. To do that, you must first focus on your state of mind. You have to be confident and you have to understand that people are not creatures of logic. We are creatures of emotion. If you think that appealing to someone's logic will definitely elicit the desired response, think again. Step one is to avoid trying to logically make sense
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out of everything you're about to learn, because it's not based on logic. When determining the way people can be influenced, everything is composed of studies, because nothing is logical. All researchers can really do is work on levels of stimulus and response. They simply take a group of people and stimulate them in different ways and then watch and observe the different responses that they get. Whether or not these responses logically make sense is irrelevant. The fact of the matter is that this is the way that they occur. So realize that with all the techniques that you've learned, and are about to learn, that it is essential to know in your heart that they do work. If you can do that, you will enter every single situation with the confidence needed to effectively persuade others. One of the greatest
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books I ever read in my life is called “The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People” by Dr. Stephen R. Covey. In his book, Stephen mentions habit number two, which is “Begin with the end in mind.” This is one of the most powerful habits that anyone could ever have, because it involves visualization. This step is extremely powerful for a number of reasons. First, the mind cannot distinguish the difference between a dream and reality. This is the reason why oftentimes when we dream; we wake up and feel like the dream is still happening. Experience in life makes us better at certain things, because it equips us with knowledge and it helps build confidence and experience. The mind can't really distinguish the difference between events that actually take place in your life versus events that are simply being imagined.
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One of the best ways to gain the experience of a real-life situation is by imagining it in your mind. So if you can effectively visualize yourself becoming an expert at persuasion, and more specifically, clearly envision yourself persuading the person that you're about to begin speaking to, the odds are that you will become that much more effective. Beginning with the end in mind also allows you to clearly see every step that's about to take place. Oftentimes when we start from the beginning with no picture of what the end will look like, we can often be going through a sequence of steps that can change direction at various different times, because we think that
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making that change in direction will help us. However, in reality, what this does sometimes is take us off the path to where we wind up in a completely different destination than where we started. This is why it's extremely important to begin with the end in mind. If you can begin with the end in mind, than you already know where your destination is. Then it's just a matter of figuring out the steps that you need to take prior to getting there that lead up to where you are right now. This leaves no room for straying off your path and winding up in unknown territory. Persuasion begins in the mind. The only way to better the chances of you getting what you want is to be clear about what you want. In fact, this is probably one of the biggest difference between people who experience extreme success in life and those who don't achieve
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success in anything. You have to have the discipline to be persistent and constantly work. This means is that you have to be willing to work at it even at times when you really don't feel that you are up to it. From the time that they're very young, all professional athletes probably dream of becoming professional athletes. It's a dream that they work very hard on to fulfill. Once they actually reach that goal and are playing in the major leagues of whatever sport they choose, they must consistently practice and train. There are days where players do not feel up to doing what they want. This could be due to lack of motivation, personal reasons or injuries, but the fact of the matter is those that play and practice more become better at what they do . I've already explained to you how beginning
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with the end in mind can impact you and how the key is to visualize the ending destination and work backwards. However, the problem for many people is that they don't know what the ending destination looks like, they don't know what it is that they truly want, and they lack the focus to zoom in and be clear. So, one of the most difficult parts about beginning with the end in mind is staying on track and never getting distracted. Obviously, what you want in the end is going to depend on each persuasion attempt. It could be a love interest, it could be a job, it could be a house, car, money or just getting a great deal on something. Whatever the case may be, figure out exactly what it is that you are attempting to gain from this person. Next figure out how you can provide them with something of equal worth
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to them. At that point, you can begin the persuasion process. Belief Systems –So now that you've done everything you need to focus on your own mindset, the time comes to focus on their mindset. Their mindset and their decisions are dictated by their belief systems, which can be altered by their emotions. But in order for you to determine how to stimulate that emotion, you must first know about the belief systems of people. Now most people's belief systems are developed at a very early age as a result of experiences that they've had in life or through messages that they received from people of importance, such as parents, or those who raised them from a very early age. Now, this is common knowledge, as most people know that beliefs are formed based
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on prior experience. However, what most people don't know is that human beings generally have very distorted recollection of their previous experiences. In other words, people often remember things much differently than the way they actually happened. This means that even though they are formulating beliefs based on what they believe to be true, oftentimes whatever they are remembering didn't actually happen that way. When consumers go into a store to purchase something, they would like to believe that they spend as much time as possible analyzing and scrutinizing the product at hand to make the best decision. However, in reality, that decision to buy or not buy takes place in just 5 seconds. In other words, there is a process, and there is no time for decision. In fact, the conscious or logical aspect of the mind is not even at work.
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The truth is that they unconsciously made their decision to purchase the product before they even left the house. Now there is one factor that drives this unconscious process, and it's known as trust. A large amount of trust is enough to make people do anything. People have extreme medical conditions and require surgery, but only allow a professional surgeon to operate on them. Why? It‟s because of trust. In fact, when most people go to the doctor and receive a diagnosis they accept the diagnosis, because it came from a “Dr. someone” whose opinion they trust. So the first key in the persuasion process is to build trust. Once you've done that, it will then spin off into loyalty. Now loyalty essentially is something that has been thoroughly embedded in people, and it
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involves a lot of behaviors that become habitual once someone has formed the habit. Behaviors can be typically difficult to break. So this can work in your favor or against you. If you are trying to convince someone to do something that is the opposite of something else that they are already emotionally invested in, trust or are loyal to, your job is going to be harder. But once you'll gain their trust and start building their loyalty toward you, it will be harder for anyone else to persuade them to move in an opposing direction.
Now, I consider myself a pretty trustworthy person, but just because I know that I'm trustworthy, that does not mean that other people will think the same. In fact, I don't expect them to. It would be nice if people trusted me on face value, but the fact of the
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matter is if they don't know me, I have to bring something to the table, and that something is usually an answer, a remedy or a solution to a problem that they have. All I simply need to do is show them how I can help them and get them to take a chance on working with me. Setting the stage –Believe it or not, a person's environment has a huge impact on the way he or she thinks and behaves. Now, you may think that you think and behave the same way no matter what environment you're in. But if you think about it, you react much differently when you're at work, and when you're at a sporting event. Your behavior in a place of worship is different from your behavior in a party with friends and colleagues. The reason for these variations in your behavior lies in social norms or cultural levels. And what's funny is that businesses that make money from people
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visiting them actually spend a good amount of their time figuring out how people will behave in certain environments. So, for example, sporting events are typically filled with high energy camaraderie and an overall high level of excitement and team support and battle. In these types of environments it's okay to curse, use foul language, scream and yell. The people who run the sporting events know very well that this will cause people to use a lot of their energy, which is why they always have food and drinks available at a very high cost. Most people would never pay what they pay for a hot dog anywhere else but at a sporting event. The same is true of a hotel. When you are in a hotel, you would think that there are no cultural rules. There is no rule that says you have to be
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quiet like you're in a library and there's no rule that says you have to be rowdy and energetic like a football or baseball game. You simply go there, you're left your own devices and you can do whatever you want. But rest assured, the hotel has a pretty good idea of what you're going to do. When you get there, chances are, you will get something to eat or perhaps a drink at the minibar, which cost a heck of a lot more than it does anywhere else. You may even order a movie, which is much more expensive than it is anywhere else. Even if you bring your own stuff, the likelihood of you using the services provided by the hotel are still extremely high. They already know this fact, which is why they have put these things there for you to use. My point is that environments dictate behaviors. So, if you want to make a change in someone's
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behavior try changing his or her environment. The environment is something that you control. You can now begin to predict the way that people will act. What's great about this is that you can also change the environment to drive different types of behaviors. Simply changing around some of the furniture in a room can have an impact on the way that people communicate with one another, because it can change their state of comfort or anxiety. Now most people think is that to change someone's behavior, you must first change his or her attitude. But the reality is that if you change someone's behavior consistently it will lead to a new attitude. So it's actually the reverse that is true. Anytime a person is put into an environment that they are unfamiliar with there has to be a change in the way that the brain is working. The state of mind becomes
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more open to suggestion. This will then cause the people to think about whether or not they should stay in that environment or remove themselves from it. The key point that I am making here is that if you remove people from their normal environments, you then have a better chance of gaining compliance from them, because you have taken their mind into a state that is more suggestible. The key, however, is to take people into environments where they will still feel comfortable. You do not want them to spend most of their time wanting to then leave the environment.
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So setting the stage involves thinking very carefully about where you can begin the persuasion process in a place that is not the norm for the other person so that you can stimulate their thinking to be open to suggestion. But you do not want to choose a place that is so far away from what they usually do or where they are usually involved that they begin trying to figure out how they can get out instead of listening to what you have to say. After you set the stage, you are now ready to begin the persuasion process, which is nothing more than an exchange of information. You also have to pay attention to the type of information that you're about to divulge. One of the most important aspects is that it's not overwhelming or too in-depth. We've all heard the expression “TMI” or too much information. As we learned earlier in observations of people,
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too many choices confuse people. Too much information will then overwhelm someone. Giving too much information also elevates the risk that you might say something that could deter them or change their pattern of thinking to not be compliant with what you're asking for. I've seen this occur thousands of times where salespeople actually talk themselves and the target out of the sale by simply going on and on and on. So now the question is how much information do you actually divulge when speaking to someone? Well the answer to this question is that you simply need to figure out whether this person processes information centrally or peripherally. If they are analyzing, scrutinizing and are really playing close attention to the information that you're giving them, then they are processing it centrally. If they are turning to
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other cues, such as images or positive values to make their decision, then they are processing it peripherally, which means that their decision to comply actually has nothing to do with your information or your message at all. If they are coming from a central standpoint, and really enjoy evaluating information, you must be prepared to give them as much information as possible. And if they come from a peripheral standpoint where they're really not evaluating information at all, then avoid going into great detail at all costs, as this will ultimately lead them to say no. Once you have figured out how much information you need to give them, you must figure out how to structure that information for your message. Your information is going to be based on how much information this person has on the topic before you even start speaking. In the end,
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chances are they will either have extensive knowledge about what you have to offer or were not knowledgeable. They will either be an expert or not an expert. You will have to present information to these two types of people very differently. People who have extensive knowledge in a certain area do not need to learn about the benefits of what you have to offer, because what they are going to do is simply link whatever you are telling them to whatever they have already stored in their memory about a topic. So for them, you focus on features, which you better make sure you know a lot about. If you appear to lack knowledge about what you're offering, you will lose them completely. When dealing with a person that has no idea or any prior knowledge, the key is to give that person less information so he can process quickly and in your favor. With this type of a person, you would spend most of your time on benefits, as
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peripheral cues play a big role in influencing this type of individual. There are certain things that you can do with your message to make it more powerful. The first is repeating it over and over again, through repetition. The key is to make it sound different each time, so that it doesn't sound as though you only have one thing to offer and you just keep returning back to it. The core of the message should always be the same thought. You should focus on the delivering the message in different ways so that it becomes embedded in the person's mind, but doesn't sound like you're rambling on. When structuring your message, you also want to focus on why the information that you have, whether it's about yourself, your product, or service, is different from that of your
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competition. What this will do is enable that person to remember you in some way. If people don't remember you, there is no way they could ever comply with you. Also, make your message easy for them to remember so that they can repeat it back to someone else if they want. People will logically try to justify any decision that they've made after they've done it. If your message can be easily repeated to themselves or someone else they will feel much more confident about their decision to comply with you. If they make a decision to comply with you, and then later on find themselves scratching their heads because they did not even really understanding what your message, they are likely to experience buyer‟s remorse, which is something that you don't want. The next factor that's going to determine how well you play the
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game is how much your target knows about the benefits of what you have to offer before you even speak to them. If they have extensive knowledge about the benefits and there is no need for you to stress them in that case, just simply speak to how they attained that knowledge and focus on the features of what you have to offer. Taking this action will reinforce all of the benefits that they have already learned about. When you're speaking to someone that has no clue about what you have to offer, then, of course, you must educate this person and explain the benefits of everything you bring to the table. The next factor that's going to determine your success to influence someone to do something is whether or not you appear to be an authority figure. They must trust that your knowledge, education, experience or expertise in something makes you the go to person.
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The next factor that will determine your success is your ability to help them create a vision of using your product or service will for them. This works extremely well when dealing with people that have limited knowledge or are not experts, because if people can see themselves using your product or service, they are more likely to want it and to remember it more. But if you're dealing with an expert, who knows everything there is to know about what you have to offer, don't spend time trying to paint a picture. In this case, the person has probably already done this in his or her mind when he or she initially began learning about it.
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Module Six– The Second Tier of Persuasion The First Impression –Believe it or not, a first impression is made within the first 4 to 10 seconds that you come into contact with someone. Within seconds, people will subconsciously begin comparing you with other people that they have met in their lives and begin to make assumptions. Even though you can't change the physical features of your appearance, it could possibly link you subconsciously to someone in their past. There are two things about yourself that will direct them to perceive you in a good way and want to comply with you. They are your physical appearance and your body language. Many times when we meet someone for the first time, we get this feeling that there's just
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something about them that we don't necessarily like. The reason this happens is because we‟re getting mixed signals from them. What's happening is there's a disconnect between the body language and the spoken language of the person. They are communicating differently verbally than they are nonverbally. This can cause a person to build very big barriers to resist you and ultimately say no to you. The reason why these barriers will be so strong is because these people now have a feeling within them that they think is their intuition. Most people have been conditioned to trust their intuition. So the key is that if you make the first wrong impression by not ensuring that your physical appearance, body language and spoken language are in alignment with one another, you will be perceived as someone shady. And this perception will come in the form of someone's
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intuition, which they believe they should always trust. Now your persuasion attempts will be that much more difficult. When two people meet for the very first time and something really interesting happens. I call this instant personality typing. Within the brains of each of these people millions of neurons fire. The brain suddenly becomes alert and tries to place the other person into a certain category type by referencing him or her against people they have met in the past. This occurs completely subconsciously. The reason why this happens on an unconscious level is because if you actually had to do it consciously, it would drain you of way too much energy. So instead, the subconscious mind takes over and makes all different types of judgments about people and essentially decides
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whether you like them or not in less than 10 seconds. Now while there are many categories that we try to place people into, one has to do with social status. In other words, we instantly try to figure out whether this person has a higher or lower status within the group. The same is true of their attractiveness. We will instantly categorize them as either attractive unattractive or mediocre. Whether or not the person actually pays attention to his or her physical appearance is something the brain also tries to pick up one observing someone. Now I'm not saying that all of this stuff is fair, reasonable or right, but whether it is or not is irrelevant. The fact is that it's true. After this initial observation is made, a person is either placed in a positive category or negative category. Most of the time it's in the negative
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category. A very small amount of people form a positive category, and then there are some people that fall into limbo, where you begin to wonder and can't figure out what it is that's making you confused about this person. For example, perhaps they are extremely attractive, but are dressed in clothing that looks unconventional or weird, or vice versa, they are not very attractive at all, but their taste in clothing in the way that they carry themselves is very attractive. The bottom line is that regardless of what you are trying to influence someone to do, the fact is that he or she is going to place you in a category unconsciously within the first 4 to 10 seconds that he or she meets you. To overcome these initial judgments, you must be well prepared and realize that the level of your attractiveness and how other people perceive you is going to
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have a great impact on your ability to influence. I know it's not fair, but it is, in fact, true. And people who have less than perfect physical features can learn to work with what they have. But the key is not to focus on whether or not this fact is right or wrong or whether it makes sense, but to realize that it is true and understand what a great influence your appearance has on your ability to influence others. The key is to take pride in invest in your appearance, exercise and stay in shape. Remember, those who look like they are in control often easily influence people. If you are overweight, you may give the perception that you have lost control over a certain part of your life. Between 50 and 80% of the communication that you have with others is going to be nonverbal. The way you dress, including your jewelry, your
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makeup, your clothing, your suit or tie, your shoes, your earrings, your watch, and your rings could easily help a person formulate an opinion about you before you say one single word. Now aside from your physical appearance, where you actually position yourself is of great importance too. Have you ever heard of a “close talker?” This is someone who engages your space by getting too close when he or she speaks. Do you ever even really pay attention to what they're saying? Chances are most of the time you wonder if they're ever going to step back and remove themselves from your personal space. This level of space varies from person to person, but as a general rule you want to try to stay between 1 1/2 to 2 feet away from someone, as anything closer begins to intrude on his or her personal space. There will be a time when you
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can enter that personal space and it will actually make the relationship stronger when you do, but you have to know when it's the right time. So be very careful when doing so. Some of the most important things that you can do in preparation to make a good impression are to figure out what values or beliefs your target has and figure out how you can relate whatever it is that you have to offer. Make sure your physical appearance is the best as it can be. Be well groomed, showered, and have a clean appearance. For goodness sake, try to get the opinion of someone else in terms of how you look before you speak to this person. Make sure that whatever you choose to wear is fitting for the occasion. I'll never forget in one of the jobs I had as a general manager of the fitness company. I was
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interviewing a gentleman, and I asked him what he thought the two greatest attributes a person could have were. Now my answer to that question is the ability to exercise common sense, which isn't so common, and the ability to connect with others through influence, which is what I'm teaching you here. He completely agreed on the influence part and went on to say that one's ability to connect with others can get you further in life than anything else. But then he said something that was extremely startling to me. He said that he believed that he was such an effective influencer that he didn't even have to wear a suit for a job interview, and he could easily persuade someone to give him a job. Now while initially I was impressed by what he said, I realized that in actuality he didn't have a single clue as to how the world of influence works, because one of the very first rules is to
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dress for the occasion. Chances are if you didn't wear a suit if appropriate for an interview, you probably wouldn't even get the interview or get the chance to influence the target. So the key is to definitely dress for the occasion and make sure that you adhere to social norms whenever possible. Always keep your level of emotion the same as that of the target. If they are jovial, or unhappy, appear to be the same way. If they are concerned or upset about something, share that same level of concern about the topic as well. Always show sincere interest in the target‟s values in life. If you can‟t get a person to open up, keep digging deeper and deeper. This will allow them to do what most people love to do, which is talk about themselves. It will allow you to learn more about them, and it will set you up for the next
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important factor in the influence process, which is building rapport. Rapport –Rapport is everything that happens after the first 4 to 10 seconds of your interaction if all goes as planned. Rapport is that connection that you make with someone that will make him or her feel attracted in some way to you and help you create likeability. Some of the most effective ways of building rapport are to first ask questions to figure out what exactly is driving this person‟s target values. Also ask questions to identify and determine their needs as well as the rules that define them. Always make sure you‟re in alignment with them by using certain techniques such as pacing, modeling and matching. Most of all show genuine interest in whatever it is that they are sharing with you.
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At the end of the day, as I said before, most people want to gain pleasure and avoid pain. Comfort is directly related to pleasure and represents the complete opposite of pain. In other words, most people desire comfort, and your main objective should be to make them feel as comfortable as possible, even if it involves saying things that may seem weird or wrong. But as long as it makes these people feel important, you should do it. If you need to leave your comfort zone for the sake of building rapport, you must do so. Remember, persuasion
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and influence involves a large amount of you becoming more like the target instead of the other way around. There are many things that make up credibility, including trustworthiness, likeability, expertise and experience, knowledge and competence. Competence is the first major component. Credibility – Credibility is defined by the English dictionary as: “capable of being believed, believable, worthy of belief or confidence, trustworthy.” As I have mentioned in the introduction, credibility is probably the biggest driving factor in your ability to influence. If people perceive you as credible, they will be open to your beliefs, values, opinions and what you have to say.
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So what exactly is credibility made up of? Well, essentially, credibility is when six key factors come together and create your perceived ability to do whatever it is that you claim you're capable of.
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Competence
Trustworthiness
Likeability
CREDIBILITY
Composure
Expertise
Social ability
The six components are competence, likeability expertise, composure, social ability, and trustworthiness.
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Competence is the first factor. If people don't believe that you're competent, ultimately; they will never believe that you can do what you say you can do or what you all are known for being able to do. Competence also has no relationship to having good values, morals or beliefs and is based on your expertise with your ability to execute a certain set of tasks.
True competence leve l
Perceived competence level
Your true competence level and your perceived competence level are actually two different
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things. To become a master of influence you have to not only be competent, but you have to be able to have people perceive you as competent as well. After all, you could be the greatest lawyer in the world, but if you can't convey to people this fact, they will likely never give you their business. The first key is to covertly make your target aware of your competence in a certain area. You must solidify your position as the expert in your field. Here are credibility:
ways
to
build
unshakable
Be likable - Your target will base his or her entire opinion of your expertise on this factor. It will make you appear trustworthy. Trustworthiness is a contributing factor to credibility.
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Give yourself objections - During your presentation, your target is going to secretly be thinking of objections that go against the point of view that you're trying to make. If you openly bring them up and address them, you will ultimately bring his or her guard down. You're able to connect with his or her line of thinking and, at the same time, show that you've done your homework on the subject. Make your position, experience, education or specialized knowledge clear - People respect those who project higher positions. The position that you solidify for yourself can either be through your education, experience or your ability to get results. For example, medical doctors are more respected than orderlies, and those with Master‟s degrees are more respected than people with GED's. However, if your
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educational level isn't something that is very high, it‟s important to focus on your results level. As an example, in major league sports, one‟s educational level means nothing. In that arena it is ability and results that mean everything. People don't care about the fact that Alex Rodriguez of the New York Yankees graduated from high school. They care about how many home runs he can hit every year. Become a master of articulation - When you're able to articulate your point and be a fluent communicator without stuttering or using words like “uh”, your perception of knowing what you're talking about becomes that much higher. I've even seen instances where people are making statements that are completely false, but because they can answer a question immediately and articulate a point, the target believes that they are correct. In the same
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respect, I've seen people who are extremely knowledgeable on a certain subject completely lose their audience because they either can't articulate their point or they can't answer questions fast enough. Use evidence - Any time you want to make a point that supports what you have to say show people where you're getting your data. This not only proves that you've taken the time to do your homework, it also intertwines the power of social validity with what you're saying. Be humorous - Be careful on this one because not everyone‟s sense of humor is the same. If you can get your target to laugh, you will first become more likable; you will change the person‟s emotional state from wherever it was into that of happiness (which your target them less defensive and more open). It also demonstrates that while you've done your
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homework on a certain topic or you have an immense amount of expertise. You still are a person, which makes you relatable. Reading people – Now that you understand how to build rapport and gain credibility, it is also important to learn the art of reading people or discovering what they are thinking. Influence is all about getting people to do what you want them to do by creating win-win situations, and the best way to do that is to give them exactly what they want. You can only do that if you know exactly what they are thinking. The fact of the matter is that many people find communication that involves influence or persuasion to be very uncomfortable or they fear it for some reason. They withhold sharing their true thoughts and deep feelings because it makes them feel vulnerable and they feel like they may wind up getting hurt.
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The problem is that when people do this it creates huge barriers that block you as an influencer from determining their thoughts and makes communication extremely challenging. There's no need to worry because speaking is not the only way in which people can express their feelings. There are various other methods that you can use to tap into someone's thoughts accurately. The first step in this process, however, is to gain as much knowledge as possible as you can about your target, which takes place in your pre-planning phase. Without a basic knowledge of your target, you are basically playing a guessing game. So the key is to gain as much knowledge as possible about your target before the initial meeting.
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The next thing you can do to read somebody is pay very close attention to his or her body language. If you go back to module three, we spoke about building rapport. Using body language, you can easily see the signals that targets are giving off. If they are giving you signals that make them appear interested or engaged in what you have to say, then stay on the same path. If the signals are showing that they are losing interest or not being engaged, it‟s time to switch things up. The easiest way to switch things up is to either ask a question or to use shock value. Every time you ask a personal question, you change their frame of thought from whatever it is that they were thinking about to having to figure out an answer to that question. This gets them engaged once again.
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If you tell them something shocking, it shifts their frame of thought from whatever they were thinking about to wondering if what you said was really true. In either case, you've changed their mindset from being bored or not engaged back to them listening to what you have to say. It is only when they are in that state of mind that you can influence and persuade them.
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Module Seven –The Third Tier of Persuasion
So as the name of the module suggests, this is the third tier of the persuasion process. I'm going to talk about some things some tactics and techniques. You may have heard of a body of knowledge called neuro linguistic programming. Now while I certainly respect neuro linguistic programming, and I think it is extremely effective, I also believe that it involves a lot of masterful observation and a high level of attention. I have always found that keeping things simple but effective always works better for me. I've always been much better at isolating a few things and being extremely good at them than being okay at a number of different things. I think that when it comes to influence, if you can
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just do a few things extremely well, rather than trying to remember a number of different things that you may do just subpar, you're going to be a better influencer. As a result, I prefer to focus on just a few simple but powerful tactics that you can do within the influence process. The first tactic is asking questions.
The Power Of Questions
Questions truly are some of the most powerful things on the planet. They can be used both internally for people to discover things about themselves in terms of why they do or do not do certain things, why their life is where it is and what essentially is driving them or preventing them from getting to where they want to be.
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Questions are also a critical component in the persuasion process. Then there are a multitude of reasons why this is the case. First, questions enable you to gain someone's attention. Have you ever noticed that when someone may be talking to you and is going on and on and on, you find yourself in a position where you're extremely bored and you can suddenly stop and begin paying attention the minute someone asks you a question? The reason for this tendency is simple: questions put your target on the defensive because they have to think of how they are going to answer your question and that serves to two great purposes. The first, which is the one that I just mentioned, is that they pay attention. Secondly, every time your target has to stop and think of how to answer your question it gives you the opportunity to stop and think about what you're going to do next.
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In some cases, that time that you are allotted will enable you to make a decision that can be critical to you gaining the result that you want. Questions also give your target the ability to speak, which is as I mentioned before, is one of the key aspects of the way people are wired. People simply love to hear themselves talk, and most of the time, they are waiting for you to finish speaking so that they can begin. Every time you ask a question, you open the door for them to speak about themselves. This will create a mood that allows them to feel good about themselves and will also give you the ability to create rapport. Questions are also of great way to keep a person engaged. I have found that in many situations where there's an awkward silence, one of the best ways to overcome that is to begin asking the other person questions. Those questions could be
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about anything, but I continue to ask questions every time I feel as though an awkward silent moment may occur. This instantly breaks up the monotony. Questions also help alleviate distractions. One of the critical rules in the influence process is keeping your target engaged, and distractions will work very much against that process taking place. So it's your responsibility to divert your target‟s attention from whatever distracting him or her back to you so that he or she is engaged. And you can easily do that with a question that is phrased tactfully enough. One of the first things that you learn in sales is to ask questions in the beginning of your presentation, because they enable you to get all of the objections out in the open so that you can overcome them initially, or prepare yourself to
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have to overcome them at a later time during the presentation. A really good question can also help lead your target to the destination of your choice. One of the problems that the fitness industry had was not so much selling gym memberships, but selling personal training consistently. It was very important for that the prospect to purchase the personal training right at the very same moment that he or she purchased a membership, and in many cases, that didn't happen. A good reason why it didn't happen was simply because most sales consultants in the fitness industry were not trained correctly or they simply asked the wrong questions. When they were speaking to a prospect, they would ask questions like, “Are you interested in working with a personal trainer?” 90% of the time the answer that you're going to get at that point is “No.”
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You have now set yourself up for an objection that didn't necessarily even have to be there. By simply rephrasing the question to something like, “Hey you told me earlier that you want to lose 10 pounds in two months. Well, if I could show you a way where you could lose over 15 pounds in one month is that something that you would be interested in?” This is a question that is going to lead the target to the destination that you want them, which is being in a state of mind where they are open to receiving whatever solution you're offering. Asking questions also will keep you in the driver‟s seat. Every time you ask a question and gain a response, you are in control. So now we know how important asking questions are. We now have to learn how to ask questions. The first thing to remember is that
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not every question that you ask your target is going to make a difference in the outcome of your presentation. So the best thing for you to do is think first about your overall goal and how you can get there by asking a certain series of questions. Once you realize what those questions are going to be, you must then make sure that you follow these rules when asking them Rule number one - Before asking any questions, make sure your target knows the answer. No one likes to be in a situation where they're asked a question that they cannot answer. It makes them feel confused, unintelligent, unprepared, nervous and can also create barriers that may not have been there prior to you asking the question. If, on the other hand, you ask questions that people can easily answer, you now create a completely different
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state of mind that represents the opposite of all the words that I just mentioned. They will now feel valued, smart, comfortable and relaxed.
Rule number two - Ask for success. Back to what I said earlier- always make sure that the question that you ask is worded in such a way that it will lead you closer to success. In other words, don't phrase your question in such a way
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that it's going to have the target respond with a “no.”
Rule number three - Ask alternate choice questions when you want instant agreement or commitment. This tactic is essential when using questions to direct thoughts. For example, if you make an appointment with people, ask them if they would prefer to come in today or tomorrow. Next ask if they prefer morning, afternoon or evening and then ask them if they prefer 6:30 or 7 PM. Every time you freeze a question where there is an alternate choice, you direct the thought process to how to answer that question, as opposed to how to object or move away from whatever it is that you're asking them for.
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Rule number four - Use your target’s name when you are asking them a question. This will make them feel very valued and will also help create an emotional connection.
Rule number five - Always try to ask leading questions. Leading questions insert the answers into the target‟s mind that ultimately gets him or her to agree with you. For example, say something like “This house is so big and spacious. It will really enable your family to have a lot of room and not feel closed in. Isn't that great?” Or “After you finish this program, you'll be able to persuade anyone to do anything, which will ultimately enhance your quality of life all around. Isn't that wonderful?” This type of a question is designed to be answered with agreement at all times. Simply
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put, it's very hard to not say yes to these types of questions. Framing - Framing is essentially the method by which you phrase a statement or question and this can have a drastic effect on the response that you get from your target. Research has proven time and time again that when people are asked about topics (even topics that are very close to their heart) they will generally respond with differing opinions depending on how the question is phrased. In other words, framing the question in a certain way can yield a completely different answer from someone even if they claim that their opinion is something that cannot be changed. The reason for this is quite simple. First off, people's opinions, desires and thoughts in many cases are actually created in just a moment's
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time and really have no relation to what they will actually do or what they really believe deep down inside. In fact, people sometimes don't even really make a decision based on what's in their best interest. Instead, they decide based on which set of facts was presented better. Rules of Framing : While the general rule for framing basically means that you ensure that the method by which you structure your presentation or question is as enticing as possible, there are three general rules that I could follow when I‟m framing. Rule number one: Physically get whatever it is that you're offering into the hands and the minds of your targets immediately, because the minute
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they own it, it is perceived as more valuable. If you can't physically get what you‟re offering into their hands right away, then use their imagination and create an image in the target‟s mind that whatever you have to offer is something that is already within their possession.
People tend to want something more once they actually have ownership over it. The reason for this is because people like to think of themselves as smart and intelligent and like to believe that they make the right decisions. Therefore, if we have made the decision to own something, we want to keep reinforcing the fact that that decision was the correct decision. And
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so that naturally leads us to want more of whatever it is that we've already chosen to have. Therefore, if you can create the image within people‟s minds that they already are in possession of what you have to offer, they will want more. Rule number two: Bring forth the image of pain for noncompliance. As I said earlier, people respond more to the fear of loss or pain then they do to the desire to gain pleasure. Therefore, if you can create an image in the target‟s mind of what he or she has to lose if that person does not take advantage of whatever it is that you are offering, you will get that person to take action much more quickly.
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I once visited a dental office, which had an extremely powerful method of getting people to purchase services from them. What they do is take a picture of your teeth. Using computer software they could deliver a new picture of what your teeth would look like if they were perfect within one hour. Then they would show you each picture side by side. On the left would be the picture of what your teeth look like now, and maybe they would be discolored, crooked, spaced, uneven or just simply imperfect. On the right would be what your teeth with look like at their best- perfectly white, perfectly straight, and a beautiful smile. This technique instantly makes you realize what you could look like if you took action. But more importantly, it shows you what you are losing or what you are not getting by not taking action. It instantly makes you think, “Do I really want to continue to walk around with my teeth looking the way they do, when they could look perfect?” And that's
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when you begin to decide how you're going to get the money to purchase the service for your teeth. Rule number three: Anytime your presentation involves your target spending money, be sure to focus on the savings of that expenditure. This is really simple. People do not like to see money coming out of their pockets. They view it as a loss, but if you can show someone why the money coming out of their pockets is justified, they will gladly spend it. You can do this in one of two ways. The first is by reverting back to a loss in life-and-death emergencies. People will find the money for a doctor or for a good lawyer. If you can frame your proposition in such a way that the person believes that it's extremely urgent and essential for them to act and spend the money, he or she
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will. The second method by which you can easily get people to spend money is by showing them how the amount of money that they spend now will either save them a lot more money in the future or prevent them from spending more money later. Rule number four: Always frame your presentation or question in a way that makes your target understand that virtually every element of risk is removed. People do not like risk. In fact, most people will decide on something that is guaranteed even when it doesn't really make much sense to do so. For example, most people will take a guaranteed $50 rather than a 50-50 chance of winning $100. Never present your thoughts in a way that makes the person believe that whatever it is that they do is only going to give them a possibility of a result. Do whatever it takes to make that
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person understand that the result is virtually guaranteed.
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Pacing - Have you ever noticed that when you are in a particular mood and you're having a conversation with someone else whose mood is different, that things just don't seem to gel? Yet, when two people are acting or thinking similar thoughts, things tend to go much more smoothly and they can understand each other. The reason this happens is because people tend to like and are open to the opinions of those that they are similar to. Pacing is nothing more than making yourself similar to your target. There are many different ways that you can use pacing, including the use of your voice. Using the same voice tone as your target is a great way to get both of you on the same page so that your target will be receptive to whatever it is that you're trying to say. The key to this is to pay
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attention to the vocal tone that your target is using and communicate in the same tone. If your target speaks loudly and aggressively or is overenthusiastic, that's exactly how you should communicate. If they are soft and subtle, you should do the same thing. This is going to prevent mental distractions from taking place. What I mean by that is that if you're having a conversation and you're speaking or acting in a way that is completely foreign to the other person, he or she could be spending time trying to figure out why you're acting in that certain way, rather than actually listening to what you have to say. If you can gel with them or connect with them by speaking or behaving the same way as they do, then what's going to happen is they're just going to be openly receptive to
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everything that you're saying. And therefore, they will be easier to control.
You can also use pacing with your breathing, with your physiology, your posture, or the way you carry yourself. Some people think, how can you breathe the same as someone else? Breathing is probably one of the most unconscious things that we do, and when two people are in sync with their breathing, chances are they are both highly engaged in something. They could be people who are making love to one another. During this time that they spend together, one person is breathing exactly the way the other person is breathing.
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Leading - After pacing comes leading. Leading is nothing more than the ability to have someone follow you. It is important to remember that prior to leading you must first develop rapport and a true connection to the other person. Then, you must begin pacing, so that your target will become subconsciously receptive up to the point that you actually begin leading him to the direction that you want. The reason for this is because once you begin leading, you are then deviating from whatever it is that both of you are in sync on and moving onto something different. You can test this by doing something simple like picking up a pen or a cup of coffee. If you're target does the same thing, then you have successfully led him. If he doesn't, you need to go back to creating a higher level of rapport before you begin trying to lead again.
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Story Telling - Have you ever watched a movie, and you felt so inspired and moved at the same time? Did you almost feel like you might have been someone else for a moment? Movies were designed to bring out the emotions in the people that are watching them. A good movie always does that well. That's what we call riveting or engaging. And so ultimately, influence is about emotion. It's about engaging people's emotions and using them to test their thoughts and behaviors. Movies are essentially stories. The story is one of the most effective ways to stimulate someone's emotions. Because of that, it's important that you learn how to tell a good story. The way that you can use storytelling to influence others is not as simple as it may sound. There are a couple of rules that you have to follow when you're telling a story, because as easy as it is to engage people to gain their
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interest, if you go about it the wrong way, you can still completely lose them in the process. Know your purpose - So the first rule is that you have to know why you're telling the story. You have to know the purpose of the story. It can‟t just be a senseless rant for your own entertainment; you have to have a specific purpose for telling your story.
Know your environment -- The second thing is you have to be in the right type of environment. You have to ensure that telling the story is acceptable under the circumstances of the conversation. Set the stage – The third thing that I would like to do is to let people know that I'm about to tell
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them a story, so that you don't lose them the moment you start going into the story. Otherwise, they may be wondering why you're doing so. I do make a point to let them know when it's going to be a quick story, so that they are not thinking about how long the story is going to be, but rather than actually listening to what you're saying.
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Imagination leads to captivation- Now that some of the basics are out of the way, the most important aspect of the story is that it has to engage the other person, and it has to captivate again and again. It has to have a purpose. People generally feel more comfortable thinking or behaving in a certain way (usually, in a „normal way‟). If it's considered a social norm or if it can be shown that many other people have thought or behaved in a similar manner, that makes them think they are “normal.” Our stories are a great way to convey that type of idea. You can tell your target a story about someone who took your device or bought whatever it was that you were selling and had a great success with it. Essentially what you want to do with your story, in order for it to be effective, is to be able to take the target and
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encourage your target to put himself in the shoes of the character in your story. As I have said before, stories are extremely powerful. How that power can serve you depends on your skill level when telling a story, because stories basically have the ability to destroy any sort of rapport that you‟ve already created or conversely, they can elevate your levels of rapport beyond your imagination. So remember that when you are telling your story, you're looking for a desired result. But that result might not necessarily always turn out to be what you're looking for, because your story is going to be filtered by the minds of people that you're speaking to. This is especially true when you're speaking to multiple people as you are relating to more than one person at one time.
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Create shock value -So the first thing to remember is that when you're telling a story, your intention should not be to deliver a subtle message. It should be to deliver a message that is going to really stir up emotions in people and get them to take action. That could be either positive or negative emotions. It is important that you're able to open up your message to a point where the audience understands your beliefs, values, and the fact that you always have people's best interests at heart. Regardless, if you stir up negative emotions in some people, they will still respect you and listen to what you have to say. Keep it short and to the point -- Speaking of what you have to say, it shouldn't be too lengthy. Anything over four minutes can begin to get boring and you can start to lose people.
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Have someone else pat you on the back -- If you get to a point in a story where you have to give yourself kudos, a pat on the back, or you want point out a certain favorable trait you have, the key is to never express that as if it's coming from you. Always bring up a third-party who shared this opinion about you. This is part of what makes testimonials so powerful. Anytime someone can see that a third-party person made a statement about something, it reinforces the belief that that's something is worth looking at. So now the question becomes how do you captivate others? What is it that grabs people's attention? While something that cannot be denied as an attention getter, it is controversy that always ignites emotions in people. The key is that if you are going to use aspect of controversy to gain attention, just ensure that
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however you frame it you‟re not making it so powerful that it actually distracts your target from what you're saying. Another thing that engages people is something that they strongly agree with you on. This can be an opinion that you have that is in strong alignment with their deep values and beliefs. Our environment is important as well, because a combination of the right setting and atmosphere also opens up a person's receptors to being engaged when you're about to tell the story. Work on the same level of intelligence - When telling a story you never want to appear to be smarter or less smart than your target. If you appear to be too smart and begin saying things that they can't understand, you're going to lose their attention. Second of all, they're going to look for reasons to justify why they shouldn‟t be paying attention to you. A good reason that
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they can use is the fact that you are trying to sound too intelligent when you speak. Pay attention to the verbiage that your target uses, and do your best to understand where they are coming from when they're speaking from an intellectual standpoint so that you can come from the exact same place. That will enable you to create rapport, keep them engaged so that ultimately; they will be more receptive to your message. Be as vivid as possible – Remember that the main goal when telling a story is to invite listeners to imagine themselves within the story. One of the best ways to do that is to appeal to their five senses. Talk about the way something felt, the way something looks, or how something sounded in the story. These descriptions will give them in the most of virtual experience of being there.
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Switch time zones - When telling a story, it's always important to remove listeners from the present time. The present time represents the way they feel now, as well as their emotional state. It is also where they feel uncomfortable. The key to captivating them is to bring them to another time or place, which you feel will be helpful in captivating. Have you ever seen a movie on the civil war that takes place in present day? The answer is no. The reason for that is because the people watching the movie would never really become captivated or engaged in it if they were not mentally removed from the present moment. One story at a time - Always tell one story at a time, and then stop and allow them to tell a story. As interesting or captivating as a story may be, people usually want to do one of two things after it's done. If it's really interested
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them, they may want to share their viewpoints on it or even ask you a few questions. Or they may want to tell a story about something similar that occurred in their life. Rest assured that last on the list of things that they want to do is listen to another story from you. The only way you can be sure is to wait and see if they ask you. Be conscious of the purpose -Always be conscious of the reason why you are telling each part of the story. Think for a second about the reaction that you want to get from a person or what type of emotion you think you will stir up within them every time you reveal another part of the story. This is perhaps one of the most important components in storytelling. A really good storyteller is able to continue telling a story while still thinking of the impact that whatever he or she is about to say next is going to have on the listener. No one does this better
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my opinion that a really good comedian. A really good comedian knows how his audience is going to react every time he tells a funny part of the story. Proof leads to credibility - The more credibility you have with your audience, the more they trust you, and the more inclined they will be to be influenced by you. You can gain credibility through storytelling and through your audience believing without a shadow of a doubt that your story is true. One of the easiest ways to get your audience to believe that what you're telling is true is to give them proof. Make it seem as real as possible. One of the key components to making something sound as real as possible is by referencing dates, times and names of people that were present during the time that the story
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took place. The fact that you can name the date, time or a person, instantly strikes support within the mind of the listener. That tells them the story is real. If you can bring up an event that they may be familiar with, such as a holiday or a public event that most of the world was aware of when it happened, you will captivate them even more. They will begin to think about where they were when that event took place, and you have now achieved your goal of removing them from the present through setting the stage to engage them. If they can relate, they will trust - People tend to trust people that they can relate to more than those that they cannot, and the reason behind this is because when others feel that they can relate to you, they subconsciously believe that your decision to do something would be very similar to a decision that they may make in a
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similar situation. That's why it is extremely important to make your audience feel as though they have something in common with you. If there is absolutely no way that you can do that, then you need to find a way to strike of the curiosity within them to know more about what it is that you have to say.
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Module Eight Persuasion
-
The
Fourth
Tier
of
Welcome to Module Seven, which contains fourth tier of the persuasion process. Thus far we have spoken about everything that you as the influencer need to do. Let‟s talk about the different laws that you need to learn. There are three determining factors that are going to make or break your attempts to influence. We‟re going to explore what happens when your target moves out of range or begins to practice resistance.
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First let‟s talk about ultimately gaining compliance and investing in the relationship. Investing in the relationship is ultimately what is going to make you successful using influence. With what you've learned through the code of influence, you could gain compliance from people almost instantly and satisfy your needs. But the real benefits from influence lie in your ability to gain compliance from people over and over again and then have them introduce you to other people that you can gain compliance from.
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Overcoming Resistance - The first step in overcoming resistance is to understand what type of resistance your target is showcasing right now. The first type of resistance is a result of a knee-jerk reaction against something that in his or her mind is jeopardizing freedom, opinion or values. The second type of resistance has to do with an anticipated regret of a decision. Reactance resistance - The best way to overcome these reactions like knee-jerk resistance is to either prevent this from happening in the first place or, at the very least, change the person's mind as soon as possible. The longer that you let the decision to disagree linger, the lower the chances of ultimately overcoming the decision. When people take a public stand on a certain issue they will continue to reinforce their opinion to make themselves
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feel correct. Remember, people often make decisions impulsively and then stick to that impulse, as if the decision was made through a well thought out and logical process. Essentially, there are only two ways that you can gain compliance and cooperation from others. The first involves making whatever you have to offer look more attractive. Or you can reduce the resistance from your target. Nearly all of the resources on the market on influence and persuasion show you how to gain compliance by making your offer look better. But since no one really talks about how to reduce the resistance from your target, I felt it would be beneficial to touch on that topic. The law of consistency states that people will act in a way that is consistent with past behaviors and statements regarding a particular
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issue. Research also shows that people are likely to pass on opportunities repeatedly. This means if they pass on an opportunity once, it is very likely they will pass on the same opportunity again. People will even avoid doing something that could potentially benefit them, simply because they've avoided doing it previously. Some people usually make the initial decision to avoid something simply because their freedom of choice feels threatened. The key is to let them feel as though they are in control and do not restrict their freedom. When you do this, you set the precedent for them acting on whatever it is that you're offering and they will most likely do it again. Another important point to remember is that pointing out what the person has to lose by not
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complying brings forth feelings of anticipated regret. When people are thinking about regret and are not thinking about restriction of personal freedom, this moves their minds and direction from saying no. They feel as though they are being trapped to moving toward a yes to avoid future pain. Remember, people often overestimate the role of consequence or pain in a decision three times as much than what is really at stake. The steps for you to implement this are pretty simple. First, single out four specific ways that you can leverage possible anticipated regret with whatever it is that you have to offer. Then come up with four specific ways that you can keep whatever you have to offer in front of your targets that have temporarily said no to you for the time being. Write down the way that you normally present your offers, and see if there are
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ways that you can reframe them to make them sound more appealing. Perhaps the best way to reduce resistance is to simply not even ask for compliance, but directly tell someone that he or she needs to comply. You do this by tying in whatever you're offering into their basic human desires. If their human desire is expression, for example, you tell them how your offer will give them the ability to express themselves and truly be who they are. It will enable them to truly let their soul shine. When you bluntly state how whatever it is that you have to offer is going to feed their human desire, every other thought diminishes. People are open to opinions and information that are congruent to their point of view. When they come across any point of view or opinion that differs from their belief, they will quickly
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formulate arguments to support their way of thinking. If you know the current belief and attitude of your targets prior to meeting them and assure them that you on the same page, than they will also be less likely to be resistant with you. You also begin to discover things that may come up later in your presentation that they may disagree with. If that's the case, do not have them verbally admit it, because if you do, they will hold onto these contradictions for dear life even if they are confronted with pure facts and data that support your conclusions. The result of compliance is often dependent on the relationship. As an example, persuading your friend to go to the restaurant of your choice can be very different from persuading your child to do his or her homework.
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Persuasion in a Business Setting Here are 8 simple steps to using persuasion in business settings: 1.) Identify a Problem – All of our decisions are made to either avoid pain or gain pleasure. But statistically, people will actually do more to avoid pain than they will to gain pleasure. If you can identify a problem or more importantly, a desire to avoid a problem by your target, you are well on your way to positioning yourself to persuading him or her. 2.) Identify The Consequence Of The Problem – Once you‟ve identified the unwanted issue in their life (which could be loss of money, loss of health, weight gain, rising costs, etc.),
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you now show your target how not taking the action to correct this issue will result in more pain for them. Ultimately, you‟re selling a solution, but sometimes you can‟t do that unless the person knows that they have a problem. So the first step is showing them their problem.
3.) Identify the Chosen Solution – Here, you simply have to lead your target select the outcome that they think will solve their problem. The best way to do this is by asking questions like “What do you think would fix this?” “What would be the ideal outcome for you?” or “What would you prefer?”
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4.) Identify the Consequences of the Solution – It‟s very important that targets accept and understand every aspect of the new outcome and fully support these outcomes. If they don‟t, they will blame you the moment things don‟t work out as planned (if that happens). 5.) Check For Confirmation – Make sure that the chosen outcome is something that your target truly wants. It will not help if they are not truthful- either to themselves or with you. Gaining compliance and gaining pacification are two different things. Make sure your target is not telling you what you want to hear just for the sake of not being combative.
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6.) Ensure That the Solution is Beneficial – It will never do you any good to provide quick fix solutions or short-term answers to your target‟s problems. Make sure that any solution that you provide will offer long-lasting results. This will not only make them happy, but will lead to more opportunities for you to influence and do more business with them. 7.) Reserve Judgment – If the target makes a suggestion or answers a question appropriately, don‟t pass judgment. Everyone views the world in a different way and sometimes someone‟s perception might be different than yours, making it hard for you to comprehend why he or she would have a certain opinion on a particular subject matter. Invest the time and energy to understand your target‟s values, beliefs and outlooks on life. It will not only better equip you to persuade them, but they will take notice
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of the fact that you have invested in getting to know them. 8.) Never Correct Your Target – Oftentimes your target may make statements that are false, untrue or downright incorrect. If you experience a situation where this is happening, it‟s never a good idea to tell them that they‟re wrong or try to correct them. When you do, their defense mechanisms automatically take effect. Then, instead of listening to you or becoming susceptible to persuasion, they are too busy defending their thoughts and points of view. This not only makes them difficult to persuade, but it also causes them to question their relationship with you.
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As people open up and listen to you, their resistance lessens. Even though dates, names and places don't necessarily prove anything, what they do is create an illusion in your target‟s mind that your story is true. When you include details like this in your story, it not only makes it appear true, but also it helps your target to imagine him or herself in your story. When this happens, it becomes a part of their memory, as well as their understanding of truth and who you are. Once people know who you are, you instantly become more likable. Gaining Compliance – Persuasion and influence or all about gaining compliance. The decision to comply is always the result that we are looking for. There are thousands of ways to gain compliance from someone. Sometimes it comes because they trust you and think you're credible, sometimes it comes because you've
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filled their desire, and sometimes it comes because of timing. As we get into later modules, you will learn more about contributing factors to gaining compliance. But here I want to share the basics of gaining compliance in the persuasion process. The first method that I want to share is about changing someone's perspective of time, the only thing that truly levels the playing field for EVERYONE is time. Regardless of how rich, poor, educated, gifted, cursed or talented each of us may be, the amount of time in each day remains the same for all of us. It is the only true commodity. You can influence people to make different decisions by changing the perspective of time. Changing one‟s perspective of time has an impact on the
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way he or she feels and makes decisions about things. Every time you meet someone for the first time, he or she subconsciously cross-references you with every other person that he or she has previously met in life. And the truth of the matter is that they‟ve probably had more negative experiences with people than positive ones. Therefore, when you meet someone for the first time, it‟s important that you: a.) Differentiate yourself from everyone else in his or her past b.) Move their filter of time to the past, present or future.
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People respond emotionally to people, places or things that stimulate them, and this includes you. Whether your audience realizes it or not, both positive and negative experiences are being triggered when they meet someone like you for the first time. The ironic thing is that the response that you evoke in your audience doesn‟t necessarily have to be directly linked to
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you. It‟s linked to their past experiences of someone that reminds them of you. So before you‟ve even uttered one single word to your target, he or she has already formulated a subconscious opinion of you. Here‟s what‟s really interesting. Even if you completely change the way your target thinks about you, because of your powerful influential tactics, he or she will eventually return to their original opinion of you. This happens for a number of reasons. First of all, they will come across other people who fall into the same category as you who (in their mind) solidify their assumptions as being correct. Secondly, opinions don‟t just diminish that quickly.
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For these reasons, it‟s extremely important that you become an expert in altering time in their mind. When you can effectively transition your target mentally from one time frame to another, his or her past thoughts, emotions or opinions won‟t have the same effect. People experience time in 3 ways: past, present and future. Let‟s take a closer look at each. Past: Some people use past experiences as their sole frame of reference when making decisions about the present or the future. They are very skeptical and guarded, but they also make fewer mistakes because they think this way. They also sometimes miss out on some of the great things that life has to offer because they rarely take
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chances. This is an important point to remember. Present: People who live in the present moment give little thought to the past or future and, as a result, don‟t worry or get stressed out much. The downside to their method of making decisions is that they rarely think of consequences and instead seek immediate gratification. Future: People who live in the future will sacrifice instant gratification for a better result down the road. They are usually detailed planners who love to organize and think things through. To them, the past (whether good or bad) has little relevance… if any at all. Once you understand how people relate to time, you can equip yourself to influence them
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adapting to how they see things. Or if they are not seeing things your way, you can change their perspective by taking them to another time frame. For example, if they are hung up on a past failure, show them why the future is different. If they are hesitant about how the decision will affect their future, show them how other people who made similar decisions benefited in the past. Once you understand your target, they understand you, and you've built a rapport and you've reduced the amount of resistance, the time has come for you to ask for compliance. That is literally the first step in getting it. Simply state that your product or service or offer is going to help them and then suggest that they comply by saying something like “Let's get
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started.” If you've done everything else the right way, the odds are very likely that you will gain voluntary compliance from the person instantly, but you must still ask. The second thing that you can do is induce scarcity Inducing scarcity when used for compliance is also very effective, because it helps create urgency. Sometimes you can point out all the great features and benefits that someone has to gain through complying with your offer, but they still need a reason to do it right then and there. And this is when the concept of scarcity comes in to play. The moment you limit something in quantity, options or time, it will instantly become more desirable. People do not like to feel the sense of potential loss. So ask someone to comply and then remind them that
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it's in their best interest to do so, because the window of opportunity is beginning to close. This will help to get them to do it right then and there. The third thing you can do is involve your target with the process. Actively involving your target with the process or experience of your goal also increases your chances of gaining compliance because of the effect that this has on their body language. Much research has shown that you can get a person's body moving in the direction that supports your goal; they will begin to agree with you and, as a result, comply with your request. There are various ways to do this if you're in a business setting and you need someone's cooperation to help get things organized. You can start by asking them to help you move some
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chairs or some computers or to set the table with some bottles of water. Whatever your choice, it's the physical act of them doing something that will subconsciously make them feel invested in the event. During a sales presentation, it's absolutely crucial to have your targets involved in the process. When you help your targets visualize your product or service, they will mentally begin to take ownership over it, so that by the time it comes to ask for the sale, it's not as if you're asking for something that's unnatural to them. They feel as though they're already involved, and they just need to sign the paperwork to make it official. Beforehand, you can lead them to that conclusion by asking the right questions. Asking the question that leads people to the
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direction that you want them to will help you gain compliance much easier than telling them what to say, think, feel or do. When you make demands or ensure people as to how they should feel, it will cause them to become defensive and resistant. Instead, if you ask a couple of questions that leads them to your conclusion, they will feel that their opinion matters and that they have control over the choice. All you're really doing is leading them to the same destination on a different map. The best thing you can do is always paint a picture of certainty. Always remember that everyone's basic human desire is certainty. While we know that nothing in life is guaranteed, we all want guarantees to make sure. Whenever you're asking for compliance always try to paint a picture that certainty is the outcome.
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Keys to maintaining your ability to influence
Invest in the relationship - Oftentimes in this world, people scatter the moment they get what they want. This is why it's extremely important to invest in the relationship that you have created with your target. This shows that you truly value what you have created with them, and it also sets you apart from the majority of other people that are trying to get their attention, business, money, resources etc. that have fallen off the map once they got what they needed and only return when they need something else. You can keep the lines of communication open with a monthly phone call or perhaps even an email or text message. Some people will argue that e-mails or text messages aren't as personal
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as phone calls, but I like them for the simple fact that they enable me to let this person know what I'm thinking about them without necessarily interrupting them or making them feel as though they have to speak to me at that particular time. Remember the contents of your last conversation…write it down if necessary. If you can touch upon something which you spoke about last with someone (providing it was a good conversation) it will not only show them that you were paying attention, but also that you value the conversation so much that you still remember it. It also gives you something to open up with when you begin talking to this person again. Another thing that you can do that set you apart from everyone else is reach out and do things
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when they would least expect it. Sure sending a holiday card is great, but in all likelihood, your card will sit on the table with everyone else's. Sending a card on a special occasion and on just a regular day sets you apart from the rest and shows them that you were thinking about them even when you had no particular reason to have to. Avoid confrontation - Avoid confrontation and taking immediate offense to things you may not agree with. Always put yourself in someone else‟s shoes and think about a logical explanation why they could be doing something. Link people together - Try to introduce people to each other that can help one another. Every time you do this, you not only help other people achieve their goals, but you also create the perception that you have a lot of connections
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and a lot of people trust and listen to what you have to say.
Admit that you don’t know it all-You should only assert that you know your area of expertise if you really know it damn well. People respect those who are capable and humble at the same time. It's okay to admit that you don't understand something, as long as it doesn't relate to whatever your competency level is during the influence process. For example, I openly tell people that I'm terrible at math. I always have been. In fact, until this day, I still have recurring nightmares about being a high school senior and thinking that I will never graduate because I cannot pass
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math. But my area of expertise or being able to help people has nothing to do with math. It has to do with influence and persuasion. People don't care if you‟re not perfect at everything, but they do expect you to be perfect of what you claim to be good at.
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Part II. Influence Mastery Module Nine - The Ten Human Needs
So now that we understand the basic universal persuasion tactics which can be applied to most people when they are processing information peripherally, it‟s time to move onto the second part of the program. Here we will be looking at people more as individuals rather than a mass group of people. Even though this part of the code does involve classifications, it works more based on the individual characteristics of your target. This helps you fine tune your approach so that you have a better understanding of when and how to apply everything you‟ve learned in part one.
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We begin with the target‟s basic human need. Our needs are the result of two things: the desire to experience and retain balance. It‟s actually pretty simple to explain. When all of our needs are met, we experience a feeling of balance. When they are not, we will strive to experience it once again.
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Desire to experience
Human needs Retaining balance
Some human needs supersede others. These are known as their dominant needs. First are the survival needs, which include: food, sleep and
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water. All of our behavior will directed toward fulfilling these needs until they are met. Once those 3 needs have been filled, we move to the second stage of needs which have to do with safety and security. They include shelter and protection. At the next level, we find love and belonging. Here we want to experience acceptance and emotional engagement with others. At the fourth level are the needs that are centered on self-esteem. Here we want to experience things that enhance our self-worth. And lastly are the needs that relate to selfactualization which include the need to reach our full potential and to experience the highest level of awareness of our desire and ourselves. This is what we call the peak experience.
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Selfactualization
Self-worth
Love & belonging
Safety & security Survival needs Within this hierarchy of needs are 10 sub-needs that I have identified which I believe all people desire on one level or another.
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They include: 1. Comfort/Certainty – This is the desire for comfort and/or inner peace. No one wants to live in discomfort. Much of the comfort that we know comes from certainty. While we all know there is no such thing as total certainty or absolute guarantees, we all desire certainty ranging from small things like our car starting, to deeper things like the certainty that the things that bring us joy will continue to do so. The greatest form of certainty that people desire is the certainty that they will be alive tomorrow. For people who have dominant needs that have to do with comfort and certainty, they generally do not enjoy taking risks or being exposed to different types of environments. Generally speaking, these people are creatures of habit. They have associated whatever they have been
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doing with comfort and certainty, and so getting them to change or move in a different direction can be challenging. You can create change in people like this if you can just show them why not changing will eventually lead to uncertainty. The best triggers that you can use with a person who really loves comfort and security are scarcity and proof. Obviously, if people like certainty, the best way to get them to act is to show them that their certainty is at risk if they do not make a decision soon. I explain to them that there are limited quantities or limited time in their decision-making process using the scarcity trigger. Because these people love certainty, you now have to tap into their desire for comfort and certainty and cause them to take action to salvage the security they seek. The best possible way to persuade them is by
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showing them proof that whatever you are asking them to do has worked for someone else. While nothing in life is guaranteed, if you can show someone that whatever you have to offer has worked in the past or for someone else, you have now created a higher level of comfort and certainty for this person. 2. Variety/Adventure – As much as we want certainty, there must also be the concept of chance, risk and variety, or things would get boring. Most people still desire variety and adventure within the confines of their certainty desires. As an example, adventurous people who enjoy skydiving like the feeling of jumping out of a plane and the risk associated with it. However, they still want to come out of the situation alive. So even though they enjoy the risk of death, they still want the certainty of life.
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The point I'm trying to make here is that when you are dealing with a person whose dominant needs include adventure and variety, the key is to understand that these desires still take place under the umbrella of certainty. The best triggers to use with these types of people include proof, because people who like variety need to know for a fact that something will be adventurous or will vary from something that they are used to. The best way to show someone how different or how adventurous something may be is through the proof. Scarcity works very well too because urgency is directly related to adventure. Urgency completely changes the perception of the situation.
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3. Significance – This is the desire to feel important. No one wants to feel as though his or her life meant nothing after he or she has passed away. Deep down within all of us is the desire to be significant in life, but for some people, significance is more important than anything else. These people have a strong urge to prove themselves and to make a difference in the world. If something great in life happens they want their name to be attached to it. They want to be the driving force behind all great things that happen in life. One of the most effective triggers to use with people whose dominant need is significance is the dissonance trigger or the internal conflict trigger.
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Feelings are a big part of these people's lives and what drives them to think and behave in a certain way. Cognitive dissonance creates feelings of discomfort or uneasiness within someone. So any time that you can show people why their decision to not comply with you would cause them to lose the opportunity to be significant, or even worse make them look insignificant, you have organically created cognitive dissonance within them. Now all you need to do is show them how being in compliance with you would make them feel significant. Once you demonstrate this idea, you have instantly relieved the dissonance. Using the law of connection is also very
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effective when dealing with a person whose dominant need is significance since this is defined by the way the rest of the world perceives us. In order for someone to be viewed as significant, there must be an audience involved. There also must be another party involved, because doing anything of great significance usually has a positive impact on another party. Therefore, if you can use the connection trigger to create rapport with people, they will then feel that being in compliance with you will make them be significant. 4. Freedom – Although all human needs correlate to control, freedom is also closely related. Most people do not want to feel as though they are being forced to do things in life, but would rather have the freedom to decide. As I said earlier, people prefer the path of least
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resistance and people do not enjoy things associated with pain. In the minds of most people, freedom represents the exact opposite of those two things. Freedom represents pleasure and it represents choice. It represents the ability to do whatever you want, whenever you want in life. And for some people, this is the driving force behind everything that they do. In fact, some people will experience great amounts of pain and go through paths of extreme resistance if they believe that these experiences will lead to freedom at the end. One of the most powerful triggers that you can use for people who desire freedom is the law of contrast. If you can show comparatively how
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their decision to comply with you, versus anyone else, would lead them to freedom, they will be more likely to do whatever it is that you asked them to do. The same is true for if you can show them how different their life could be if they complied with you by using the law of contrast. Proof is another technique that works extremely well with people who are looking for freedom. Remember, if people are willing to engage in activities that they hate the most like pain or resistance just to get to freedom, they need as many reasons or as much proof as possible to show them that they will actually achieve freedom towards the end. For example, if I'm a good writer but I don't enjoy writing particularly because it involves a lot of thought, a lot of time and a lot of work,
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chances are I don't write that often. However, if someone could show me is that by writing a certain book using a certain system that has been proven to work that I would make $10 million and be able to be financially free, I would now be more motivated to write each and every day. The scarcity trigger works extremely well too because freedom is a desire that can easily be quantified. In other words, you're either free or you're not free. So, if you can show people how being in compliance with you can change their lives and give them freedom but then show them how if they don't act soon, they will lose their freedom, they will be doubly motivated to take action very quickly. 5. Connection/Love- Relationships nurture the soul and magnify the human experience. The more relationships we have and the deeper they are, the more fulfilled we feel. This is why
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people have the desire to be part a community, to care for others and to be cared about. Deep down inside, all sane human beings want to experience love and connection on some level. Even introverts or people who don't enjoy crowds still desire connection and love on some level. If, in fact, you find someone that desires love and connection more than the average person, scarcity works rather well. If you can show someone why if they don't act quickly they will lose their opportunity to feel love and connection, they will be motivated more to seek it. We see this in the dating all the time. The scarcer or less available one person makes himself, the more the other person desires him. Another trigger that works extremely well with people who are interested in love and connection is association. Any time that we are attracted to someone who we believe is
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attractive to everyone, we become even more attracted to that person. So if you can show someone why, whatever you have to offer is wanted and valuable by many other people, what you have to offer now becomes even more desirable. This is why men who are not so great looking, but tend to have a lot of girlfriends, live this way. Regardless of how good-looking or not he is, the moment a woman sees a man with a woman who's very good-looking or with a number of women, he suddenly becomes more attractive. These types of thoughts usually run through their minds- what does he have to offer that makes them so attracted to him? He must have something great to offer for so many other women to like him. This is the law of association at its best. 6. Growth – We‟ve all heard the saying if you‟re not growing, you‟re dying. Growth - be
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it spiritually, emotionally, mentally, physically or financially - improves our overall quality of life. Some people really have a huge desire to grow. It doesn't matter if in the process they achieve freedom, love, significance or any other desires for that matter, as long as they feel they are growing in some way. One trigger is extremely effective with people who desire growth is proof. If you can show someone why doing something your way has been proven to help others grow, he or she will be motivated to do whatever you asked, The same is true of association. If you can associate what you have to offer with the results that other people have gained through using it, people will be prompted to take action. People who desire growth tend to know that quick fixes are always a reality. Therefore, many of them
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are very good with commitments. One of the biggest reasons why people can't keep commitments is because their point of view on whatever they committed to changed after the time they committed to it. People who desire growth know that stakes can change entirely and they can easily become unmotivated. However, they continue anyway. That's why it's extremely important to get these types of people to make commitments as soon as possible. While results show that most people who make commitments keep them, people who desire growth more than anything else generally keep their commitments more than most people.
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7. Contribution – This is the desire to contribute something of value to the world and somehow make it better place. Contribution is very similar to the desire for significance, although contribution is more of a selfless desire; whereas, significance has to do more with the way someone will feel after doing something. People who desire to contribute more than anything else are more concerned with how other people will feel or the difference they can make in someone else's life than they are with their own lives. The best trigger that you can use for these types of people has to do with the law of connection. All you simply need to do is create a strong rapport and a strong connection with someone, and then show them how complying with your request can change their life for the better. They will instantly want to contribute and want to help you.
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Another powerful trigger is the verbiage trigger. If you can create your presentation in a way that drives home the fact that this person would be helping or contributing to someone else's life very dramatically, their odds of complying with you will be much higher than if you structure the presentation around their needs and desires. Yet, another trigger that's extremely powerful is the reciprocity trigger. If you can contribute something in some way to this type of a person he or she will instantly feel the need to return the favor. Find a way to do something that will positively impact or contribute to this person's life first, and you will have basically laid the groundwork for them to do the same for you. Expectations are another extremely effective trigger to use with people who desire contribution, because if they know that you're expecting them to comply with you, you've already created a scenario where they feel the need to contribute.
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8. Power – Of all the human needs, power is the one need that is closely related to control. The desire for power is to feel in complete control over all things at all times and can encompass all other needs. It can also represent itself as the desire to feel superior at all times. People who desire power more than anything else always want to feel as if they are in control and do not ever like to feel threatened in any way. These people can often feel threatened for no good reason, if they are around someone who in their mind is more powerful than them. The key to dealing with people who desire power is to always make them feel more superior. As the great quote says, “Never outshine the Master.” People who desire power like to feel as though they have the best of everything.
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That's why using the contrast trigger is extremely powerful. You see, if you can show someone the difference between what you have to offer and why it is so much better than the alternatives by using contrast, people like this will automatically block what you have because in their mind they believe it makes them more powerful. Association works very well too because if you can associate what you have to other people with power, these types of people will want it as well. 9. Expression – Expression is the desire to express the feelings within. The need for expression can correlate to the need for contribution and significance, but it can also stand by itself, as many artists use their creativity for no other purpose than to release it. People who have a strong desire for expression
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can have that desires lead them into other desires when deep down inside all they want to do is release whatever it is that is inside of them. The verbiage trigger works extremely well if you can tailor your presentation in a way where people will feel that there are no strings attached and that they will be able to fully express themselves by complying. 10. Balance – The need for balance is strongly related to the cognitive dissonance theory. People whose dominant human need is for balance don‟t necessarily care if something is right or wrong, they are more concerned with things being equal. To them the world operates on the premise that all events that take place must balance each other out. If balance isn‟t achieved, things seem oddly wrong to them.
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When influencing a person whose dominant human need is balance, it's important to point out how whatever you have to offer doesn't take away from something else. In fact, it's more important to focus on how it makes things equal. For example, if you're trying to persuade someone to buy a car and your target is hesitating because the monthly payment is going to cause an imbalance in the amount of money that he or she has, show all the things that he or she will be able to get done with their car so that you can create the balance needed for your target to make a decision.
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Module Ten - Personality Types Welcome to Module Ten. Here I will talk about the second component in the Code of Influence which has to do with personality types. It is my belief that the thoughts and behaviors of people can be predicated on certain factors like their environment, current circumstance, culture and social norms. And depending on these factors people can respond to the same stimuli differently at different times. For example, in America one of most popular forms of white meat to eat for dinner is chicken. Eating things like Tarantula's for example is something many Americans might find repulsive but if you went to a place like Cambodia, tarantulas are considered a delicacy that is a worthy offering to both locals and foreign tourists.
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Now imagine an American in Cambodia (different environment and culture) who hasn‟t eaten in 5 days (extreme circumstance) and he will probably be cutting the line (different social norm where people wait in line to eat these critters) to get his hands on one. This point illustrates how these factors can cause a person who would normally respond one way to respond in a completely different manner to the very same stimuli. That being said, once you understand these factors and how they apply to your target, you can assume that if those factors are not having an impact, your target will most likely follow a consistent pattern of behavior; meaning as long as you‟re in America and your target isn‟t being deprived of food, he probably won‟t be looking for tarantulas to eat.
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When those factors are put aside, the patterns of thought and behavior are the result of your target‟s personality. Like virtually every area of psychology, the study of personality is riddled with theories ranging from Carl Jung‟s introvert/extrovert to Erikson‟s epigenetic principle. Resulting from all these data are the distinct personality tests which attempt to identify certain traits that people generally exhibit. In my personal opinion, I don‟t think personality tests are effective. I do however think that the information within them serves a great purpose. The reason that I say that is because they rely on the answers of the persona taking the exam. It is my opinion and experience that when it comes to the mind and observations about human behavior, third party opinions are most accurate
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as most people have biased opinions about themselves. Therefore, I think the classification data can be useful when you are trying to determine someone else's behavioral patterns but not for those individuals who trying to discover their own tendencies and behavioral patterns. When it comes to personality classification, there really couldn't be anything less rigid. Just because a person fits the criteria to be in a certain classification doesn‟t mean he or she will always showcase those characteristics; but they, should most of the time. Having this information enables you to understand how to present to them and what they value most in this life. It is for this reason that the personality type makes is the second component in the code of influence.
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What I‟m about to share with you is my opinion on what I believe to be most accurate set of classifications of personality traits. After years of researching this topic, I have taken parts of theories which I agree with and blended them together with others to form a unique classification system. We begin with something known as the Five Factor Personality Model which was popularized by Costa and McCrae. The model is made up of five traits which govern all of the characteristics described in the classifications that fall under them. Each one also has a polar opposite where the person exhibits traits that are completely different from those described. They include:
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Openness - People with this governing trait are inventive and curious as opposed to being cautious and consistent. They appreciate things like art, adventure, curiosity, unusual ideas and experiences and emotion. These people tend to be more right brain oriented are more open to new, innovative schools of thought rather than conventional or traditional ones. Identifying the Open Person - People who have this dominant trait tend to be very imaginative and full of ideas. When you explain something to them, they usually catch on pretty quickly and will often relay the message back to you using a rich vocabulary. They are very articulate and open to new ideas. When you are speaking to them, they will be genuinely interested in understanding your message. Conscientiousness - People with this governing trait tend to be very efficient and organized as
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opposed to being careless or easy-going. They aren‟t very spontaneous and prefer to have things well planned out. They typically show good self-discipline and accountability. Identifying The Conscientious Person - These people are always prepared and follow strict schedules. They are rarely ever late and like to get things done. They may not be the “go to” person for a new idea but they could be instrumental in executing it or putting a plan in place to achieve milestones. These people don‟t tend to be messy in anything they do. They prefer structure and organization. Extraversion - People with this governing trait are very energetic and outgoing rather than quiet, reserved and “to themselves”. They are very energetic, full of positive emotions and find pleasure in the company of others.
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Identifying The Extrovert - These people are always up for going out and meeting new people. They tend to stand out in the group and can be very vocal and energetic. They are the complete opposite of introverts who find little stimulation in being surrounded by others and/or meeting new people. They tend to be very talkative and they like being the center of attention.
Agreeableness - People with this governing trait are very friendly and compassionate versus being cold, unkind and rude to others. They place a high value on being cooperative and getting along with others. They tend to give people the benefit of the doubt rather than being skeptical or distrusting.
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Identifying The Agreeable Person - These people tend to be very compassionate and take other people‟s feelings into consideration. They are not combative or skeptical by nature. They show interest in learning more about others. Neuroticism - People with this governing trait have a tendency to be very sensitive to their surroundings and can have a lot of anxiety as opposed to having confidence or being secure. These people tend experience unpleasant emotions rather easily like anger or depression.
Identifying The Neurotic - These people get irritated and offended very easily. They tend to view every situation as a threat and will often make a big deal out of nothing. They tend to have mood swings get stressed at what others would seem to be little or insignificant things.
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Within this broad scope of traits comes a more individualized classification system. As I said before, I personally am not a fan of personality tests because in most cases they rely on data that comes from questions answered by the person being classified. When used by an outside observer however, I think the descriptions of each type are extremely helpful in helping us understand how most people think and behave most of the time. After learning about each type, most people ask me how they know which type their target is. And that‟s a great question. But it‟s a question that I can only answer with one word; observation. The focus on the second part of the program is long-term influence which is the ability to build a real relationship with your target so that you can influence them over the long-term as opposed to just once or twice. Part of that process involves you getting to know
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them on a personal level. By paying attention to things like their hobbies, interests, buying patterns, general opinions and ways of doing things, you will begin to get gain a clearer understanding of what type of personality they have. The purpose of the information you‟re about to learn is here is to be used a crossreference tool to gain a better understanding of your target once the initial observation has been made. In other words, your job as a master of influence is to educate yourself using this information to gain a baseline understanding of how people think and behave. Then, after meeting your target and spending a sufficient amount of time getting to know them (and this could range from 1/2 hour to six months depending on how much they display) you can then begin comparing what you‟ve learned to what you already know
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to then try to predict how to continue your relationship. It is my opinion and experience that each of these types also usually related to a one of the basic human needs that I mentioned in module eight. That is not to say that‟s always the case. There will be times where one‟s personality type and basic human need will be completely different but much of time they are the same. For the sake of simplicity I have put the aligned the basic human need that relates most each type.
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Let‟s now take a look at each type in detail. Reformer (Significance, Power)
So let's start with the first category, otherwise known as the reformer. The first thing to know about the reformer is that while many people consider them neat freaks or people that simply will not bend in their frame of thought, the truth is that in reality even though they are set in their way of thinking, that thinking is predicated based on their own personal standards. In other words, there is not a general rule that reformers follow if they make the rules and then follow them. So if they are people that believe in extreme neatness, then they will be neat freaks. But if they believe that taking the time to keep things neat is a waste of time, then they won't be neat. Reformers usually have good self-control
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and they pay attention to detail. They can be critical, inflexible, have high standards, and could be their worst enemies. As you know, each person is special and unique in his or her own way. Deep down inside reformers believe that people aren't accepted for who they are, instead they have to become something. That something is usually a reformer, who always does things right and never makes mistakes. They generally do not act on impulses and do not want to behave badly, as they believe they will be judged negatively if they do so. They believe that the good things in life are the result of them being responsible, calculated and intelligent people who follow the rules.
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They focus very much on the difference between right and wrong, and issues that should be corrected. They are also known as reformers because a lot of their energy is focused on judging other people, as well as the way people judge them. These people often see life very much as black-and-white with no gray area. They will invest almost all of their time and energy into ensuring that all things are done to their standards. They want to get things right all the time. For these people, pain represents anytime they lose self-control, use bad judgment, make mistakes or act in a way that is not socially acceptable. When you communicate with a number one always make sure that you are extremely precise and clear and frame your presentation in a way that is black and white and leaves no room for thought or imagination.
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In other words, keep things simple, clear, concise, and detailed with lots of proof. The key when using proof with reformers is to make sure that the proof supports their belief.
Skeptic (Power, Certainty)
As the name would indicate, these people are very skeptical but they're also trustworthy and caring. They are extremely analytical and skeptical, which will leads them to being uncertain about making a decision because they are fearful of making the wrong one.
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These people believe that the world is a dangerous place that's way too unpredictable. So they believe that most people can't be trusted. Trust is something that you definitely must earn as these people don't give trust easily. They substitute it in one of two ways. The first is from a position of accommodation, which means that even though they approach everything with a lot of skepticism, they respect the rules and authority because they believe that the rules are put in place to protect them from dangerous situations. The second way that they substitute trust is through a position of challenge. From this position, they will only lead to fight authority, if they feel that it will somehow protect them from the dangers of life. Most of their time and energy is focused on the dangers of life or what could go wrong. They
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love trying to figure out the challenges, obstacle, road blocks or pitfalls that may arise by making a certain decision. Very rarely do they look for the positives that can arise as a result of the decision. These people love logical analysis, and pain to them is represented by the thought of ever getting stuck in a dangerous or harmful situation and having lost complete control. Alienating people or cut or losing relationships with people that they depend on also represents pain to them. By challenging them, their basic fear is to wind up helpless and or totally dependent on someone else. When influencing a Category Six, be prepared to be challenged and be prepared to overcome objections and challenges by using lots of social proof. Also be prepared to answer as many questions as possible. Reciprocity works rather well with these people, because it will help them view you as a good person who can be trusted. But you also must think carefully about what it
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is that you will give as a goodwill gesture. If it's not thought out carefully, take could perceive you as bribing them. Never make them feel pressured or controlled, as they will become extremely defensive and even harder to persuade.
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Apprentice (Connection, Contribution) Many people think that apprentices are very needy and that they always expect something in return. But the truth is, they are true givers. When they give, they are not doing so with the intention of getting something in return. They are extremely relationship oriented, nurturing, helpful and caring, but they can be dramatic and prideful. They oftentimes don't know how to just say no to people and can make the mistake of giving too much and never taking their own needs into consideration. The thought frame that drives the behaviors of the apprentice is that love is need. And so if you can fulfill someone's needs, they will love you.
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They also believe that to receive anything in life, you must give. Now this doesn't mean that when they are giving something to someone at that very moment they are thinking about what they get in return, but their general thought frame in life is that if you ever do want to get anything, you must give. The apprentice focuses a lot of his/her attention on the needs of other people; especially those they care about or admire and want to care about them. They are constantly trying to make a positive impact on the emotions and feelings of others and oftentimes can forget about their own needs and, at times, be disruptive to others when trying to give to them. Ultimately, these people feel that giving will gain acceptance and approval. They are very romantic type people and very generous. Pain to them represents lack
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of acceptance, feeling like they can easily be replaced, letting other people down, rejection and feeling unappreciated. When communicating with the apprentice make sure that you are friendly and polite. Create a winwin situation, but show them how their choice will help you or anyone else that's involved.
Detective (Power, Significance)
There is a big myth about detectives which states that they are stingy and selfish, but the truth is that these people can be extremely giving if they feel it's worth this course of action. Detectives really want to know that it's going to be worth it for them to invest their time and energy into something. These people are usually very investigative, knowledgeable,
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inquisitive, and analytic. They work well with systems, and are private and very objective. Their basic belief system is structured around something to the effect that people become drained as a result of the huge demands that the world puts on them. There is a tendency to become very private and rely on no one, as a means of protection from being drained of whatever resources they do have. They assume the answer to doing this is to learn as much as they can and acquire knowledge while at the same time limiting their wants and desires and not really expecting to deserve much out of life. Now even though we all are emotional creatures, detectives are more likely to use logic or what they believe to be logic more than anyone else. So while something always strikes up the emotion in us to make a decision or to behave in a certain way, it is typically facts and analysis that trigger emotion in the detective.
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They tend to be very left brain oriented and love to scrutinize things and learn as much as they can about any given subject. They approach many things from a sort of empty place when it comes to feelings. Pain to these people is represented by intense feelings with the most relevant being fear. They will do whatever it takes to avoid intrusive people or people that they believe will try to break down their barriers. Their biggest fear in life is that if these barriers are broken, they will somehow be drained of all of their resources energy or anything that they find valuable and they would therefore be incapacitated in life. When persuading a detective, you must appear as very unemotional. Focus a lot on proof, and structure your presentation around the facts and content. The more that you can show that you scrutinize, analyze and put effort into taking the
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facts into consideration before making your presentation, the more seriously they will take you, because that's the kind of stuff that they admire and relate to. Never make the detective feel as though they are incorrect about their facts or whatever information they have gathered, as it will make them extremely defensive. Never appear as intrusive or act in a way where they feel that you are asking too much from them emotionally. This will only raise their barriers up even further.
Mediator (Connection, Contribution) These people are generally very humble, pleasing and accepting of others. They can usually adapt very quickly to whatever environment they are put in. Their adopted belief is that people eventually become
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unimportant, and so to stay important, they must blend in with everyone else and gain a sense of belonging. They often abandon their own priorities to focus on other people. That's why most of their attention is focused on complying with others, and filling their demands and requests. They feel as though if they can make other people happy or belong, they will feel comfortable and enjoy life. They like to put their energy into maintaining harmony as well. They do not like confrontation, conflict or feeling uncomfortable. The mediator is the easiest type of person to persuade because they generally want to be compliant, so the key is to not manipulate them. Explain the benefits clearly and ensure that there is always a winwin, as these people can easily be manipulated because of their willingness to fill others' demands and avoid conflict.
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Entrepreneur (Growth, Significance) Many people think that entrepreneurs are very self-centered and only care about their own goals in life, but the truth is they can bring a very inspirational energy to helping others achieve their goals. They are very focused on goals, very results-oriented, efficient, enthusiastic and generally confident about their abilities. They believe that any achievement in life is the result of effort put forth by individuals. Results mean everything to these people, and how you play the game rarely means anything. Their own true feelings are often sitting beneath their go-getter energy. They believe that success brings more love and acceptance than anything else. Entrepreneurs focus a lot of their time on tasks, goals and things that need to be done. Oftentimes they can make a situation out to be
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more than what it really is because they're so focused on the end result. They want to get things done quickly and efficiently. They are very competitive and are constantly looking to accomplish new goals. Failure or being outshined by someone else represents pain to these people. They also do not ever want to lose their ability to achieve things or be viewed as incompetent. When speaking to these people, make sure that you keep up the pace. Be confident, direct and focus on the topic at hand. Make sure that your presentation is centered on how they can become more efficient or effective at something or how you can deliver your product or service faster or more efficiently than anyone else.
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Creative (Expression, Contribution)
Innovators are full of creativity. They are very visual and adapt very well to their surroundings. Much of that comes from their ability to imagine the possibilities. They have no problem multitasking and are very open to new ideas. In fact, they are so open to new methods of thought that they will often rejection conventional thinking simply because it appears to be old to them. When dealing with a creative person, you must always keep things exciting and interesting as they tend to get bored rather quickly. You must also be prepared to hear some radical ideas that may be a little “out there”. The key is to show respect and appreciation for their ideas no matter how farfetched they may seem as this is part of their personality this aspect of their personality is very closely connected to their soul
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Guardian (Comfort, Freedom)
Guardians are very assertive, confident, intense and are always out to seek justice. At times they can be excessive and intimidating, as well as direct because of their dominant belief is that the world can be a cruel place where those with power take advantage and prey on those who are weak. Therefore, everyone must do whatever it takes to prepare and protect him or herself. Guardians support this belief by creating power within themselves. They avoid appearing vulnerable and they also avoid putting themselves in vulnerable situations. Therefore, they always seek to appear powerful and respected by others. These people believe that
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their intuition is always correct, and they focus most of their attention on gaining control and power. They also seek to protect themselves from manipulation. If there is a conflict that is about to arise, they are not afraid to take action quickly and face it. They do this to protect themselves as well as people that they believe to be weaker than them or innocent. Respect is extremely important to guardians, and they believe that they can gain respect if they always appear powerful and strong. The biggest fear for a guardian is to become weak or if they end up depending on someone else for their needs. If they respect someone or look up to them, it is extremely important that those people feel the same way about them. They would do anything to avoid any kind of vulnerability.
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When influencing a guardian, keep in mind that their dominant human need probably has to do with power. So make sure that when you speak to them that you communicate in an authoritative way so they can relate to you. But never appear to outshine them or say anything that may make them appear or feel vulnerable or powerless. Be prepared for confrontation at times, but the best way to overcome it is to let these types of people know that anything that you are doing is for the good of all and not with any intention of harming anyone.
Enthusiast (Adventure, Connection) Many people assume that because enthusiasts are so enthusiastic about everything that they tend to jump around or lack commitment once they start something. However, the truth is that
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they can oftentimes stay very committed to something because they always see the positive in whatever they do. And if they see enough positive in it, they will actually stick it out as long as possible and even take paths of higher resistance or make personal sacrifices.
These people are optimistic, joyful and always look at the glass as half-full. The reason why they behave this way is because they believe that the world can sometimes be a bad place that places limits on people and ultimately causes them pain that could be avoided. And so they spend most of their time engaging in activities that they really enjoy and daydream about activities that they will enjoy in the future,
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as this helps to protect themselves from the limitations and the pain that the world puts on people. They focus most of their energy and attention on interesting, enjoyable and fascinating ideas, and they really like to live life to the fullest by always looking for something new and enjoyable to do or to plan on doing in the future. Pain to these people is equivalent to limitations and the lack of adventure. They do not like to be constrained or held back, and their ultimate feel fear is to be trapped in doing something that makes them feel pain and not being able to do anything about it. When persuading an enthusiast, make sure that the flow of conversation has a consistently fast pace and always focus on the freedom that is somehow associated with whatever you have to
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offer. Be prepared to deal with someone that may switch the flow of conversation as often as possible. When describing to them the benefits to what you have to offer, explain the immediate benefits as well as any benefit that may come in the future. They will be able to relate to that and enjoy thinking about those topics. Also it's very important to make them feel as if they're in control and they have the choice. You could be offering these people $1 million in cash, but if you took away the option of how they would want the money delivered, it could turn them off a bit. So the key is to never make them feel as if you have remove choice from them or limited them.
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Motivator (Adventure, Connection) Motivators are very social people who are always interested in the best possible outcome for everyone involved. They value connection and acceptance from others very highly. They tend to be very charismatic and are usually very fluid speakers with excellent communicators. Motivators are generally easy to get along with the key is to show them respect and consistently ask for their feedback on certain things as they enjoy giving it.
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Pleasure Seeker (Adventure, Freedom) The pleasure seeker lives very much in the moment and believes that life is a meant to be lived by doing things that involve pure enjoyment. They‟ll often say things “You only live once”. They hate the mundane and anything even remotely related to boring. To them, if you are not enjoying life, you should be dead. Many people believe that the pleasure seeker only enjoys a certain set of activities like being outdoors or performing adventure ridden tasks but that‟s simply not true. The activity is predicated strictly on the level of enjoyment. The key when dealing with a pleasure seeker is to always keep things fun and interesting. To them pain is represented by doing things they don‟t enjoy.
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Strategist (Contribution, Growth) The strategist loves planning and creating a structure for people to follow. They are very good visionaries who can look at a long term goal and develop a plan to reach it. These are not the creatives or the entrepreneurs that will come up with an innovative idea but they are the ones that will find a way to make that idea come to fruition. Aside from making ideas come alive, they are also good at solving problems or finding solutions. Because they value contribution and growth so much the strategist fears failure. The key when dealing with a strategist is to let them come up with the plan even if you already have one. If their plan differs a lot from yours then you can work on it together but never give them a full plan or set of
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directives as you are taking away from their natural ability. Strategists also tend to think 10 steps ahead so always make sure you‟re on the right page as them when connecting. Commander (Power, Comfort) The commander craves one thing and one thing only; control. They often make great leaders because of their ability to tell people the truth and help them move past their weaknesses. The commander isn‟t the person who‟s going to come up with a great idea or even a plan to execute it but he/she will hold everyone involved accountable and ensure that things get done. When dealing with a commander, you must always make them feel as though they are in control because the moment they feel vulnerable or subordinate, they will begin thinking about how to regain the lost power. If
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they feel they can‟t, their natural reaction will be to cut off ties with whoever it is that is taking it from them. In other words, if they feel they can‟t defeat you because you are too powerful, they will begin to reject you.
Romantic (Love/Connection, Significance) These people believe that every time you sever a relationship with someone, you lose a part of your life and it is extremely painful. These people are always searching for the ideal partner or soul mate so that they can feel complete and totally loved. Again much of their focus is on the past and the future, which includes memories of things that are no more or anticipation for what is to come. Because of this they don't pay much attention to what's
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actually going on in the present. They are constantly searching for fulfillment in life through self-expression and connections with others. Pain to these people is represented by abandonment, insignificance and rejection. When speaking to someone like this, remember to pay attention to his or her feelings. Stay focused on the benefits involved for them and how their decision will solidify them as individuals. At the same time, create a good relationship with you or anyone else that's involved. Understanding the differences between all of these types enables you to figure out what‟s important to someone and tailor your presentation around that. Having this ability to deal with all different types of people strengthens your ability to influence.
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Module Process
Eleven–
The
Decision
Making
Welcome to Module 11. Once you learn the materials covered in this module and how you can use the knowledge to your advantage, you will have what may be the most powerful capability of all. What you're going to learn in this module may be the most important material that I will be covering the entire program. The reason I say that is because once you master this material, it will serve as the nuts and bolts that make everything else that you have learned work like a well-oiled machine. The other reason this module is so critical is because if you did not listen to one other module in the entire program except this one, you would still have a very good shot at
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becoming a great influencer. Compliance and conversion ultimately boil down to action. We can talk about the laws of influence, people's needs, pain vs. pleasure and personality types, but ultimately what this all boils down to is whether or not someone is going to take the action that you want them to. In order for them to take this action, they have to make either a conscious or subconscious decision. People don't take action unless they decide to. Even the most knee-jerk responses from people, such as pulling the hand away from a hot flame, are decisions. The only difference between a decision like that and a decision like deciding what shirt you're going to wear to work is the time it takes to make it. Now even though people have different human needs, different personality types and may perceive pain and pleasure differently, what really magnifies and,
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in some cases, trumps all of that is how they make decisions. So once you can take everything else that you've already learned about this person and synergistically bring it together with the method by which he or she makes decisions, you‟ve hit the jackpot.
The Decision Making Process
To keep things simple, I have divided decision makers to five different categories. Some of these categories have the same labels as some of the personality traits like the skeptic and the enthusiast. While skeptic decision makers will share many of the same characteristics as a person who has a skeptic personality, they should be viewed in separate contexts as one refers to how they act in general while the other refers to how they approach big decisions. For
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example, a person who may fall into the category of an apprentice who places a high value on satisfying the needs of others might have a tendency to make decisions that make others happy but when making important decisions, an apprentice might act more like a skeptic. Now realize first and foremost, that pain, pleasure and circumstances ultimately have a huge impact on the decisions that people make in terms of these categories. I'm referring to helping people make big decisions, decisions that they really have to sit down and think about and ponder. So taking emergencies out of the equation or situations where people are almost forced into making a decision, we are going to refer to how people make decisions that will affect them drastically when they have the resources, time and the peace of mind to think them through.
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Thinker
Thinkers love to scrutinize, they love to jot down pros and cons and potential outcomes of every option before they actually make a decision. It is their ability to outwit outsmart outmaneuver and outthink their opposition that
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drives them to be so methodical in their decision-making process. Thinkers love to take a look at details and understand how and why things work. When analyzing a problem, it is very easy for them to completely disassemble it and work piece by piece toward a logical solution. For them information and data are extremely important because these serve as the primary resources needed to make the right decisions. They rely mostly on rational thoughts and do whatever it takes to restrain their emotions, and they are open to new ideas and forward thinking concepts even if they differ from their personal beliefs. For the thinker, it is not necessarily whether or not the concept is right or wrong, but it is more about the information and the evaluation process. It is their curiosity and deep desire to understand the way things work that drives their thought processes.
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It is important to realize that your presentation must always be structured in a way that thinkers can constantly analyze your message, because if they don‟t understand the mechanics behind what you are saying, you will lose them entirely. And rather than listening to you, they will become caught up in trying to rearrange their thoughts. You can easily prevent this from happening by have all the data they need readily available. Things like studies, analysis, research and surveys are things that the thinker will thrive on. When it comes to the data that you present the thinker, it must be hard, factual and quantitative if possible. Numerical data is especially intriguing to the thinker. Part of the thinker's desire for information will lead them to be extremely thorough and, in doing so, they will
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often try to gather the opinions of other people that may be involved in the decision-making process. Doing this may give the appearance that they want to enable other people to vote or have a say in the process, but in reality, they are doing it because they want to make sure they cover every single piece of ground in making the decision process. Because thinkers not only rely on logic, but they want to rely on logic, they tend to put up walls of defense to guard their true emotions and feelings, passions and desires. This can make them extremely difficult to read. But that doesn't mean they can't be read or persuaded. The three biggest desires for the thinker are contribution, power and significance.
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They are very competitive by nature, and thoroughly enjoy outwitting outmaneuvering and ultimately outsmarting other people. This is why they go to such great lengths when scrutinizing information. The good thing about thinkers is that even though they desire to win and they desire power, they are not afraid to change their view on something, if it makes logical sense to do so. Many critical processes must first come into play before a thinker can come to a decision. It can be difficult to identify exactly what it is that is driving them to act. However, based on my research, it is hard data, factual arguments and a complete understanding of the process used to arrive at a decision that will ultimately will drive them to act the way you want them to.
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Influencing the Thinker
Because thinkers are so guarded, they can be difficult to read. Their desire to have as much information in their hands as possible before making a decision can also act as an obstacle for getting them to comply. However, based on my research, if you follow the set of steps outlined here, you should be able to persuade and influence the thinker with no problem. You must first outline the entire process in your mind or on paper and know exactly how you're going to present your argument. Once you know that, you need to involve the thinker in the entire process and make him or her understand how you arrived at the conclusions that you made and what data ultimately supports your conclusions.
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If you don't do that, the thinker will spend too much time trying to figure it out, as opposed to just listening to what you have to say. And moving forward, your presentation must also have a strict order of events. You should envision your presentation almost like a movie that has to start from the beginning and never at the middle or the end. This will give the thinker a better understanding of the point that you're trying to make. While every decision that we make is ultimately driven by in emotion, it is the desire to think logically that is driving the decision-making process of the thinker. Therefore, you have to appeal to the emotion within them by making your presentation logical.
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A logical presentation has to be made chronologically; meaning it has to have a beginning and middle and an end. Using this type of a structure is extremely important, because if thinkers don't understand how you arrived at a certain point in the presentation, you are going to lose them. They're going to be thinking about it and questioning you. It is better to tell your story from beginning to end, even if it takes three times longer, so they can understand every single point that you're trying to make and how you got to it. You also need to be able to explain how you arrived at certain points in your presentation, because the thinker will definitely challenge you if they don't understand. If you can‟t give them an answer that they're satisfied with, you are going to lose credibility.
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You need to ensure that you have all of the relative data with you at the time you make your case. If you don't, the thinker will challenge you on it. Ultimately, you will have to procure it at some point, which will ultimately hold up the process. Having other people involved in the process that can help the thinker think things through will also be of great benefit to you as well. As a measure of making sure they've covered all bases, thinkers will often want to crossreference all of the data with other people whose opinions they respect.
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Anytime you are having a conversation with someone and trying to persuade him or her, you should always be listening more than you're speaking. But with the thinker, it is especially important to not only listen, but also to include them in the entire process. Thinkers want to understand your logic and want to understand how you arrive at your opinions and decisions. Oftentimes they will ask you questions during your presentation to understand these factors. They also want understand your decision-making process. So any time you make a presentation to them, you should always identify the problem and explain and evaluate the possible options. Explain why you think the option that you chose is the best. Evaluate the benefits that are
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associated with that option, as well as the risks associated with it. Be prepared to answer a barrage of questions that the thinker might have regarding how you arrived at your conclusions on everything you've just explained. At times, it may seem like they're interrogating you. But the key is to remember to not get frustrated and not take it personally, because it's not a personal attack on you. It is really just the thinker trying to understand your methodology. One of the best ways to get thinkers to accept a concept or an opinion is to have them arrive at the same opinion of it as you do at the same time. If you involve them in the process, you'll not only engage them, you'll also get them invested in the decision-making process, which is going to further strengthen their buy in.
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If there are risks associated with your proposal to them, be open about these risks and ask them what they think the best way to reduce those risks would be. This will give you more credibility than you could ever imagine what the thinker. If I had my way, I would gain compliance from someone every single time I sat down with him or her. Remember, this program is about more than just gaining compliance from someone just one time. Being able to persuade someone to do something once is great. But if you can build a relationship and influence him or her continuously, ultimately, this person will be contributing to your life on a much larger scale.
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Realize that with a thinker if you really want to gain compliance for the long haul, you have to sacrifice getting them to comply the first time around. It's really best to not pressure them at all to make a decision that day. Give them time to do what they love to do, which is thinking. They will respect you for your ability to understand the way they like to make decisions. Additionally, your chances of gaining compliance from them on larger scales will increase if you give them time to scrutinize the information and then come back with them. For this reason, I often have two meetings with the thinker. Or if I find myself in a situation where I'm realizing that the person that I'm trying to influence is a thinker, I will make it my business to ensure that no pressure is put on him or her for that day and I will schedule another meeting at another time. The first time you
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meet with them it's best to explain your process and the way you do things and show them some of the successes that you've had. Then it's important to clearly understand what else the thinker might be looking for. Information is going to be important to them in making their decision. You do this by asking questions and involving the thinker in your process. Gain their input in the process. Then the second time you meet with them, outline any changes that were made to your process since the first time you met with them. Then I will line up those changes with supporting logic. When it comes to thinkers, you can never provide enough information. Sometimes, you may even think that you've exhausted every single option and provided all the data that was humanly possible and the thinker will then ask you a question about a topic that you never even
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thought to bring up. If this happens, you don't want to appear as though you didn't do your homework, but you don't want to be dishonest either. The best thing to do at this point is to thank the person for bringing up that topic, as it was something that never ever crossed your mind. Then begin diving into the subject in exploring the different options if you think you can. If the information that they are requesting is something that you can't provide, then point them in the direction that they need to go in order to obtain that information for themselves. Remember all the thinker wants is information. If you can at least point them to the source of that information, you still will appear as credible.
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Once you've given thinkers all the information that they requested, you must now allow them the opportunity to scrutinize it and arrive at their own conclusions and decisions. Thinkers are more motivated by having control, so having them take complete ownership over the decision-making process is extremely important. The time that they need to make a final decision could take longer than you expected, but in the end, this is the process that you must follow in order to effectively influence the thinker. Thinkers also tend to remember bad experiences. So you have to make sure that you don't create one for them by providing recommendations that could have a negative effect on them. Perhaps the most challenging part of influencing the thinker is that you really have to go the distance. When providing them with exhaustive
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amounts of information, the best way to go about this is to systematically present everything to them sequentially. Even if the thinker finds parts of your presentation that are flawed, ambiguous or inconsistent, they will still respect the fact that you have a plan and you're following it. But because they will look for flaws in your presentation it's very important that you set up two meetings with the thinker. In the first meeting, you involve them in the decision-making process, so you can assess the areas where you'll need to do some additional work and address issues that you didn't think would have come up. Once you know all of this, make sure that you're able to address it and resolve it if necessary during the second meeting.
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Skeptic
As the name suggests, the skeptics are naturally suspicious people and very rarely will they take information seriously that is not congruent to their own paradigm of the world. In order for them to truly believe information, it must come from sources that in their mind have credibility. Otherwise, they will not accept what you tell them. In fact, they will challenge it and write it off as nonsense even if it is accurate and correct. Skeptics are always questioning the status quo, and are ready to fight tooth and nail against anything that is not congruent to their belief system. They are not afraid to speak their minds and get something off their chests if they feel that it needs to be said. They‟re also very confident about their opinions and will often
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make decisions that can be extremely risky, based solely on their instinct. They're usually very persistent people, and will keep trying until they achieve the goals they set out to achieve. They very rarely give up on a goal and don't tie themselves up with what is going on now. Instead, they are constantly envisioning possibilities of the future. Skeptics like to think they know it all and, more importantly, they like to keep that appearance. In other words, they don't really like asking for help. When they find themselves in situations where they do need help, they will usually only rely on certain people for it. Further, that select group of people that they will ask for help from has to be on the same level as them in their minds. If they are not, they will view them as being un-credible and they will not accept anything that they have to say.
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This is why it's extremely important to gain credibility as fast as possible with the skeptic. You could be handing the skeptic a winning lottery ticket, but if you are not credible, he or she won't accept it. Skeptics are often extremists in the way they feel about people. They either trust you immensely, if you can get into their circle, or they will completely shut you out if they decided that you can't get into their circle. One of the initial ways that skeptics begin to trust people is through similarity. If the skeptic believes that someone is similar to them in some way, he or she will assume that their perspectives on things are the same. The challenge in influencing a skeptic is that they make it very difficult to engage emotionally because they can very easily detach themselves.
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Skeptics are not fans of authority and oftentimes will resist it just for the sake of being controversial. In fact, even in professional business meetings they can be very disruptive and outspoken and even rebellious to a certain degree. I've even seen skeptics get up and walk away while someone that is in the middle of a presentation that they don't agree with. They also don't have a problem showing you that their attention is occupied by something else. They will often take phone calls or text others while you're in the middle of a conversation with them. Skeptics are truly confident people with strong personalities who are not afraid to let you know what they think of you. They are not afraid of being wrong or losing an argument.
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People often falsely assume that skeptics do not make decisions quickly, but nothing could be further from the truth. They actually make decisions extremely quickly and oftentimes will do it right on the spot if their intuition is telling them to do something. They will often throw caution to the wind and not need any sort of proof whatsoever. This is important to remember that this only happens when their gut feeling or intuition is pointing them in a certain direction. When it's not they will rely on quantitative information and data, much like thinkers. Thinkers take all the data and use it to come to a conclusion, where the skeptics usually have a conclusion in their mind already and they will use the information to support the conclusion. If there are parts of the information that do not
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support their conclusion, they will write it off as incorrect. Dealing with a skeptic does take a very special skill set, because they are very assertive and extremely demanding. They expect people to answer their requests instantly and can appear as aggressive and combative when they speak. Skeptics are not afraid to work and will oftentimes do so around-the-clock. When they're passionate about something, they can easily become almost obsessed with it. The skeptic‟s strong desire is for selfabsorption. They like to call their own shots and take credit for making decisions that are correct. They are not afraid of risk, in fact, most of the time they are seeking it. Skeptics don't like being wrong and will very rarely take accountability. When things go wrong, they are quick to blame others and when things go right,
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they are quick to take credit. They don't like being told what to do, and they don't like when people remind them they need to do certain things. It's important to never make skeptics feel like you're rushing them because if you do, they will most likely take even longer to reach a decision simply because they don't want to feel like they are being controlled. Second to selfabsorption and rebellion is the desire to be competitive. They like to be the best at whatever they do. To summarize, the skeptics like to call their own shots and do not like to be controlled or directed. They will let you know exactly how they feel and speak their mind. They are only afraid of being wrong and will oftentimes make risky decisions based solely on gut instinct. They will do whatever it takes to achieve a goal and don't care whose toes they have to step on
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in the process. They are not easily distracted and have a great ability to remain focused on the task at hand. They have little to no regard for the way things should be, and are more concerned at the way things could be. Skeptics are very independent people, which can make them hard to get along with in team atmospheres. But their ability to think outside the box and be great visionaries often leads them to great things.
Influencing The Skeptic
You may think that influencing skeptics would be extremely difficult, because they don't value any sort of opinions or information that are not congruent to their outlook on life. But the good thing about influencing the skeptic is that there is little left to the imagination and not very
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much guesswork involved. You don't have to spend time trying to figure out what the skeptic is thinking about, because they're going to tell you straight to your face. The key to influencing skeptics is to get them to place extreme value on the source of the data that is being used to influence them. Once they can place a value on that data, they will make their decision very quickly and not procrastinate. That's why it's extremely important to establish credibility as soon as possible. If the skeptic has no idea about you or what you've done, try to seek an endorsement from someone that they already view as credible. This will make things a lot easier for you. Skeptics are suspicious by nature, and tend to distrust most things that they come across unless, of course, they've decided that the source of the information is credible or similar to them.
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Name brands, proven track records, and known leaders in any area are things that skeptics view as credible. If you don't fit any of these criteria just yet, you must leverage the credibility of someone else that the skeptic trusts. Realize though that this tactic only gets you in the door. Once you are there, you still must earn the credibility needed to influence the skeptic. They will often do this by challenging you and asking you a lot of questions, so you should be prepared to answer them. This is nothing more than a test that skeptics perform to see whether or not they should believe anything that you have to say. What's interesting, though, is that when they are questioning you, they're looking for reasons to not trust you. If they can't find them then you will begin to appear credible to them. With the
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skeptic, you start out with nothing. Through your ability to answer their questions and provide them with what they need to take you seriously, you begin to gain credibility. Skeptics trust no one without a proven track record. The good news is that once you do establish credibility with a skeptic, everything else is much easier. Skeptics only let certain people into their inner circle, but once they are there, everything is different. They will then listen and trust most of what you have to say and make decisions very quickly. You have to be able to stand up for yourself. But realize first that you can't change the skeptic‟s paradigm or outlook on life. It is part of their human nature to not trust or except things at face value. That is why they challenge
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and question everything that they come across. They don't do this maliciously; they are just difficult people by nature. It's not your place to change that and you shouldn‟t want to. Instead, accept it for what it is and influence accordingly. Make no mistake; you are going to encounter very challenging situations with skeptics. But part of being a master of influence is realizing the type of person that you're dealing with and adjusting your presentation accordingly. It's easy to get frustrated upset or mad and want to walk away, but that's not what influence is about. Influence is about gaining compliance from anyone. Just as each person is different, every approach will be different. Realize that adjusting your presentation is just part of the game.
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You must always appear as an expert in whatever it is that you are influencing someone to do. To become an expert, you must have the desire to want to learn. Once you do learn and once you gain a level of expertise that you desire, remember that you know more about the topic at hand then the skeptic that you're trying to persuade. Remain confident and trust in your ability even when the skeptic challenges it. Aside from being naturally suspicious, skeptics also tend to be very rebellious people. You should know before going into a meeting with the skeptic that all of the events that take place should go according to when they want them to take place. This makes them feel as though they are in control, which will lower their defense mechanisms slightly.
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Another challenge with skeptics is the fact that they can often go off track and skip from one subject to the next, making it difficult to follow their train of thought. This can be frustrating, and it could cause you to want to feel as though it's not even worth your time dealing with this type of a person. But again, if you want to become a master of influence, you need to understand that each person brings with him or herself a different set of challenges and there is always a way to overcome them. When a skeptic starts jumping from one subject to the next, simply have the person slow down and start over again. You could say something like. “I'm not sure if I understood what you're saying, let's go back to what you initially said about….”
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It‟s especially important to not reciprocate with a combative nature. When dealing with the skeptic, the best thing that you can do is control your emotions and your ego. When you become confrontational with skeptics, it only makes them more aggressive, because they tend to defend their egos. When they are in a state of defense, skeptics become difficult to influence. When they feel like they are in control, they become relaxed, making them more susceptible to influence. By the same token, a skeptic will not respect you if you back down easily. They feel that if someone is correct about something, they should defend their opinion. So when you don't defend your opinion, it makes you appear as not credible. That's why it's extremely important to defend your point, but do so in a way that is non-combative. Never fight fire with fire or act
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aggressively. Instead, just be confident when responding to the intense questioning. When you can stay in your ground and respond with factual information, your credibility continues to increase in the eyes of the skeptic. As stated earlier, establishing credibility ASAP is essential towards influencing the skeptic. What‟s interesting is that even if you have a proven track record or a publicly respected reputation for your expertise, earning the skeptic‟s trust can still be challenging. If you assume that the skeptic will take what you have to say at face value simply because of your accomplishments, you are making a false assumption. Always be sure to point out where you are getting the information that supports your case to the skeptic, as that holds more weight with
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them than the actual information itself. Data that was obtained from a credible source will open up a skeptic‟s mind to influence more than just about anything else. While influencing skeptics can feel like a daunting task with no sign of achievement because of their strong personalities and aggressive approaches to getting their point across, it doesn‟t mean that they cannot be persuaded and led to a decision just like anyone else. Realize this fact- every time skeptics question or challenge something, it‟s because they are trying to figure out how or why they might change their frame of thought. You will eventually succeed in influencing them, you just need to be patient, answer every single question and let them take ownership over the decision.
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Follower
Followers use other people's decision-making processes as reference points to make their own decisions. They typically will do something because it has been proven to work in the past by someone else. They don't like venturing into uncharted territory or do things that have never been done before. They don't like to explore options that have not been proven to work, and they are certainly not innovative or creative people. Followers are great listeners and are very diplomatic when they interact with other people. They are open to other people's opinions and perspectives on things and tend to have a high level of emotional intelligence. The challenge with the followers is that they can sometimes be hard to identify, because they can easily be misidentified as thinkers and enthusiasts or skeptics.
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Followers tend to avoid new solutions that have not been proven to work in the past. Their decision-making process is predicated on what's worked before; they don't like to explore new options. They gravitate towards trusted brands, and products, and solutions and ideas that have been socially validated. Perhaps the biggest issue for followers is when they become faced with a problem that has never existed before. In a case like that, there's no reference point does nothing for them to compare. Oftentimes when this happens, they suffer from something called an analysis paralysis where they are scrutinizing and studying the problem in trying to determine the best course of action, but never actually doing anything.
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Willingness to delegate tasks to others is one of their strong people skills. Followers usually are able to gain loyalty from others, because of their ability to connect. Another great attribute about followers is that they are open to other people's advice, even when it is different from their own opinions. When the follower asks for your input on a certain topic, it is because he or she truly values what you have to say. They are also extremely empathetic and good at seeing the world through other people's paradigms. Similar to skeptics and leaders, followers like to ask a lot of questions. When they receive the answers to those questions, they could challenge them like enthusiasts, and they sometimes think out the box and look for innovative ideas.
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As you might expect, most followers won't admit that they are actually followers. Instead, they want people to think that they are forward thinking even when their decision-making process proves otherwise. To avoid any indication that they are followers, they will often talk about their plans for the future to make themselves appear like they are visionaries. However, rest assured any plans that they have for the future would be based off of a similar idea that was successful for someone else. Followers love bargains. To them getting a great deal is everything. And oftentimes, they will trade the risks involved with something new and unexplored for a decrease in price. Sometimes they will jump on an opportunity simply because the prices so low that they don't want to miss out. They enjoy haggling and
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oftentimes actually find the process to be a source of entertainment. What's interesting about followers is that they can be spontaneous and take action on the spot, but only if they know that doing so has been proven to work before.
Influencing the Follower
Identifying the follower can be challenging, but once you do the process of influence is actually pretty easy. In fact, in many cases, you'll gain compliance from them right on the spot providing you do everything the right way. Here's what that entails.
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First, you can use process of elimination, because research has shown that people who do identify themselves as followers usually do not make use of elimination. In the rare occasion where you come across a person who is willing to identify himself or herself as a follower, you can begin asking questions about how they make decisions. They will typically classify themselves as followers because they don't act until they understand every single risk that's involved. But, in reality, those are the characteristics of the thinker. Proof is extremely important to the follower. You see, even though they are tough to identify, when it comes to follower, the influence process is pretty straightforward and simple. In fact, of all the types of decision makers that you will have to influence, the followers will probably be the easiest, assuming you know what to do and
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what not to do. The first step is to never take them out of their comfort zone. Anything that they are not familiar with, or that is new to them, will raise high defense mechanisms within them. The only way that a follower will make a change is if he or she is absolutely sure that a large number of people have succeeded by making that same change. Therefore, it's important that you have things like testimonials and references from credible trusted sources when dealing with a follower. If you do not have a strong track record for success or a proven reputation for being a credible person, it will do no good to try to sell yourself, particularly as the follower will not even pay attention to you.
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Followers relate to phrases like “the old way,” “what works similar to” and “what has worked in the past.” They like proven solutions. They don't like risk, and the idea of losing money, time, resources or anything else that they deem is valuable. That's the reason they very rarely make risky decisions on the spot. The key here is that you can never have too much proof when influencing a follower. Now there will be times where you find yourself in situations where you don't have enough proof to influence the follower. When this is the case, you can switch your tactic from using proof to delivering the bargains. Followers love bargains and many times you can offset the risk or lack of proof by providing them with a great deal. So if you're in sales, and you're trying to convince a follower to make a purchase based on a product‟s track record but that's not
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working, then you can move on to lowering the price. When you do this, the risk is automatically lowered in the mind of the follower. The follower will now almost feel like you are sharing the risk with him or her. Remember followers find bargaining and negotiating fun and playful. So don't be afraid to do it. It's also extremely important to keep things simple when dealing with a follower. Remember, they don't like to admit that they are followers. Instead they would rather have you believe that they‟re innovative, so sometimes you might want to pacify them and feed that desire a little. Just remember not to make them stray too far from their comfort zone. If you begin to get too innovative with a follower the plan could backfire in your face. This usually
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happens when you make things more complicated than they need to be. All you really need to do is supply infinite proof that something is working. This is what makes influencing the follower easier than any other type of decision maker. All they need is proof, and if proof doesn't work, they need bargains. Both are the only two avenues that you will ever have to explore what dealing with a follower. Linking new concepts to past results is also truly important when dealing with the follower. Followers like familiarity. So if you can show them how the features or benefits of whatever you're offering is similar to something that has worked for them in the past, you'll quickly begin to gain compliance from them. It's important that you make this connection as early as possible in your presentation when dealing with the follower, as it will enable you to open up the
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door to gain compliance in the first place. Without first opening that door or showing them how your idea is similar to something that has worked in the past, they will become defensive or will not take your presentation seriously. Even with the most unique and innovative type of products, it's important to remember that followers assimilate information based on past experiences. The last bit of information I want to give you when it comes to followers goes back to what I said earlier about them being hard to identify. Because they're hard to identify, if you confuse them with someone else, like an enthusiast, and you're trying to make your point by showcasing new and innovative ideas, you will destroy your whole presentation. Enthusiasts are driven by risk, whereas followers avoid it at all costs, so it's important to make sure that you are in fact
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dealing with a follower when you're making your presentation. Followers don't necessarily like to change things, and they like to rectify things. They like the status quo and they like normalcy.
Leaders
Leaders are proactive, independent, meticulous, “strive for perfection” type of people. The main emotion that's actually driving all of their decisions is fear. They often worry and easily become anxious or nervous when they think about the unknown. Anytime change or something new enters their life, they automatically assume that it's going to affect them negatively rather than positively. If the fear becomes too overwhelming for them, it will actually paralyze them and prevent them from
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taking any sort of action. That fear can also make them extremely defensive and combative. This could cause them to focus too much on worst-case scenarios and negative outcomes. The fear can also drive them to achieve things that most people only dream of. It really all depends on how much fear is within them. Leaders are not afraid to get their hands dirty and take massive action if they don't agree with the way certain things are being done. They are truly independent and often trust their ability to get things going without the help of other people. They prefer to do things their way whether they fail or succeed. In their minds, it is their ability, skill, education or favorable attributes that ultimately finds the right answers. Leaders, as you would expect, are very different than followers. Leaders do not need any kind of
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path to be prepared for them by someone else. Instead they rely on their own internal compass and gut instinct. Others often admire leaders, because of their ability to aggressively plow through tasks that others wouldn't even attempt to take on. In terms of big decisions, leaders need to feel as though they are in control of the entire process. In a sense, they are possessed with power. They must first review any type of information so they can make a decision based on their own judgments rather than the input or device of others. In fact, in many cases, they will not ask for advice from others, even if they trust and admire them. The only input that leaders really value is their own, because in their minds, this is the only truly credible source. This outlook is driven primarily by the emotion of fear that
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resides within them. If they think for a second that someone else's opinion conflicts with theirs, they will abruptly dismiss it, even if there is validity and truth to it. Leaders tend to be very self-absorbed, and even if they share thoughts about a decision with others, they very rarely will take their advice into consideration. Meeting with leaders can be very unpredictable. If they think for a second that you're trying to take advantage of them, they will become extremely confrontational. At the same time, they could sit there in complete silence wrapped up in their own thoughts. They can also easily lose their patience, because they are frustrated with the fact that someone else can't see things their way. They also falsely assume that everyone sees
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things their way. When they learn that they don't, they can quickly become agitated. In a sense, leaders are spoiled because they're used to getting their way. They have a huge desire for control, because control is equal to security in their mind. Leaders fear of loss of control more than anything. This factor can serve them both positively and negatively. Leaders are very straightforward and clear people. In their minds, there is a clear set of rules that dictates what is right and what is wrong. The right way is their way, and the wrong way is anything that is not in alignment with their way. They are very black and white thinkers and leave little room for gray areas.
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Leaders are not also open to change once they've made up their mind that they want something. Their ideas become written in stone and are truly hard to change. Part of the reason why their ideas are so hard to change is because they formulate these ideas on what they perceive to be pure facts and logical data. They have no use for uncertainty and ambiguity or unclear information. This, however, does not mean that they will not make unintelligent or irrational decisions at times. But their decisions usually come in to play. Leaders are driven perfectionists; they want everything done meticulously and with zero errors. This is often why they have the attitude of rolling up their sleeves and doing things themselves, as they really don‟t trust that anyone can do things as good as they can. Leaders have very strong personalities and, in
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their minds, they are the best at everything that they do whatever business they choose to be involved in. They feel that they can do better than anyone. Leaders also avoid risk and responsibility, because of fear of failure. Remember the fear is the driving force behind everything that the leader does.
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Influencing the Leader
As you can expect, influencing the leader will be the most challenging of all decision makers. In reality, you can't even influence them. You can only influence them to influence themselves. The only two things that you can use to do so are time and fear. You need time, because leaders work at their own pace and will not be rushed by anyone. And you need to reduce their fear as much as possible in order for them to take action. Here are the key steps to doing so. Never try to force a leader into doing something. You could be giving a leader the best advice possible, but if they feel for a moment that you have a hidden agenda, they will become combative and defensive. They
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will relentlessly begin questioning you. When this happens it's best to gain your composure and stay patient. Never become defensive or take things personally. You have to see leaders for what they are- people primarily driven by fear. This fear can sometimes transform into the complete terror of making a bad decision. The key to dealing with a leader is to not let your emotions take hold of you. Remain calm and reassure them. If you can effectively silence their fears, you'll gain compliance from them. The challenge is that in their mind the fears don't exist. A leader will never want to admit to anyone else or to themselves that they are afraid of anything. So they will often put off making a fearful decision by asking for additional information, when in reality, they might not even look at the information that they asked for. If you sense that a leader is simply
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procrastinating when he or she is asking you for additional information, it's important to provide the information anyway. Every time you respond to one of their requests, you actually reduce their fear slightly without actually calling them out on it. During your presentation with a leader, be prepared for long intervals of silence as they often become very self-absorbed. In meetings the key to influencing a leader is having a presentation that is linear and very well structured. While they enjoy details, they only take them seriously if they feel they are being presented from someone who is an expert at what they do. When you present data, it must be combined with discipline, authority, strength, power and command. They admire and are open to approaches that are very straightforward and exude confidence.
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In the end, the leader‟s decision to comply will come from within. Therefore, as I said earlier, you can't really influence them per se. You can influence them to influence themselves. The key to it is to always let them feel as though they are in control. Their decisions must come from their thoughts and opinions rather than yours. Think of it this way- when dealing with a leader, your job is not to sell. Instead, it's to give them the opportunity to make a purchase. Your best course of action is to give them everything they need to make a decision and supply them with what they asked for. Then you can sit back while they influence themselves to take action. This allows the leader take ownership over the idea, which is what they want more than anything else.
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Some years ago, I had a business partner who was a leader who was obsessed with control. I needed a certain amount of help from him, and I knew that if I got this help it would improve my financial situation drastically. The problem is that I also knew that he wouldn't be willing to give it to me, because in his mind, the financial gain that I would receive would be something that he feared. You see a leader always likes to feel like he or she is in a better position than those surrounding him or her. Therefore, the thought of him giving me something that would possibly make me more money than him was something that he wasn't comfortable with. Rather than asking him for what I needed, I asked him how he thought I could make more money with my business. In his mind, I was calling on him for his expertise and good judgment. He willingly complied, and gave me what I needed as a result. My income doubled that year.
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Because leaders often take an extremely long time to make decisions, a good tactic is to give them a deadline that is controlled by an external factor rather than you. This is where you create urgency to circumstances beyond your control so that you are not perceived as the bad guy. For example, when I was selling gym memberships, the object of the game was always to get the person to join on that day. Initially, we have something called the first. This is an incentive, which meant that you would save money if you joined on your first visit to the club. Oftentimes people would say, “Well, what if I come back tomorrow. You won't give me the discount?” This makes you appear as someone that doesn't want to do business with them. So I began to change my presentation and say that the sale ended on that
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day, or that there were only a limited amount of memberships left. This creates the same urgency and gives the same deadline; only it doesn't position me as the person who's in control of that deadline. Therefore, I can‟t make any adjustments to it. They must act that day if they want the best deal possible.
You must also know your bottom line dealing with a leader, as they will often push the limits as far as they can get Never rush the leader, as you will only them defensive and resistant to influenced.
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when try to them. make being
Enthusiast
Enthusiasts are always looking for something to get involved with. As the name suggests, they are enthusiastic about new ideas and are quick to embrace them. They seek to know more about how that idea can benefit them as well as others. They're very interested in innovative ideas and can identify with the revolutionary thinking. They love to imagine possibilities, and are responsible and accountable. They care really only about the bottom line. Enthusiasts are interactive, can make decisions very easily and are not afraid of risk. Enthusiasts as are never afraid to pull the trigger once the timing is right. In fact, if there's one
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thing that the enthusiast frowns upon more than anything else, it's procrastination and wasting time. The emotion of excitement about a new idea is only the beginning of how the decision-making process takes place for the enthusiast. They do seek out facts and data to support their enthusiasm and desire to want to get involved. But if they cannot find those facts, their enthusiasm will quickly diminish. You might not have to provide detailed information to enthusiasts, but they will need to see an in-depth plan on how the idea will be executed. Yes, they are enthusiastic people, but they only remain enthusiastic when they see that someone else has thought through every aspect of the idea. If they do not see that, they quickly lose their enthusiasm.
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Part of the reason for this is because most enthusiasts have been burned in the past by making decisions too quickly without actually thinking them through. You cannot change the emotion that naturally resides within them, which is to become enthusiastic about a new idea. You can only prevent it from going away by providing them with what they need to remain secure in their decision to move forward. They can become very discouraged if you don't have the answers that they are looking for. They admire those who have done their homework and are not afraid to be aggressively questioned on why their idea will work.
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With an enthusiast, the bottom line is really all that matters. But that bottom line has to be supported by the proof that will keep them enthusiastic. They can quickly begin to break down a large idea into smaller details and they are most excited about the details of the execution. They are not interested in long drawn-out processes. Rather they are more fixated on instant gratification and immediate results. They care more about the solution rather than the problem. They are open to change and willing to adapt if they feel a result can be gained faster. Enthusiasts are also very interactive people. They enjoy talking with others and sharing ideas, brainstorming is also very enjoyable to them, as they like to share ideas with others and see how a concept can come to life. They're also known for jotting down ideas on the
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whiteboard or a piece of paper and leaving it to someone else to figure out how to assemble them. They can be very talkative and engaging people, but they can easily take over conversation and speak very fast and animated. They can also be very interruptive and have little tolerance for the boring and mundane. Enthusiasts are not afraid to call in help from someone else if they feel they need it. Again, all they really care about is the results achieved. They will do whatever it takes to get that done.
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Influencing the Enthusiast
When using the right approach, this can be one of the easiest decision makers to influence. Here is a closer look at what that right approach consists of. First give the headlines. Enthusiasts typically have very short attention spans. They will not concern themselves with boring details. For example, if they were reading this book, they would probably go to the table of contents, find which chapters interested them or could be valuable to them and skip straight through to them. That's why when you begin your presentation within enthusiast; you have to start with the most critical information. If you don't, you could lose their attention very fast. Oftentimes, when you're influencing someone,
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you need to structure your presentation sequentially so that you can build value in your concept and then explain your concept. With the enthusiast, it's actually the complete opposite. You explain the concept first, and let everything else follow. They can become bored very easily with a drawn-out presentation. It is better to have an interactive conversation with them. And if they interrupt you, don't take offense. They're just trying to make sense of what you're saying and get to the bottom line. Once they understand the big picture, you should immediately begin to talk about execution and how that idea will actually come to life. What is really driving their enthusiast is a burning desire to interact with others. They love brainstorming, thinking outside the box and want to ultimately play with ideas.
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Your presentation should be simple and straightforward as well as logical and systematic. If it's not, you will lose the enthusiast attention very fast. You should also be prepared to adapt and change your presentation according to whatever is going on to keep them engaged. In fact, the entire presentation should be structured around the enthusiast‟s needs. Keep a written checklist of all the points that you need to make so that you can stay on track while still fulfilling their immediate gratification needs. Even though you may have to change your presentation, it's important to remember that you cannot get caught up in the enthusiast excitement and lose sight of the task at hand. The enthusiast might tell you that they are onboard 100%. Yet, just when you think your
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job is done, you may realize that they have changed their minds. It's one of their habits to agree to do something and then to fight off their impulses, because they have been burned in the past. It's also important to talk about any risks associated with your ideas up front. In fact, if there is a part of your presentation that they are especially excited about, it's a good idea to actually undersell those things and make them appear less attractive than they actually are by discussing the risks associated with them at the same time. You also address your plan to minimize those risks. If you try to cover up any type of information, you can rest assured that they will learn it at a later time when you might not be around to address it with them by covering any risks or downsides up front and keeping the enthusiast grounded. You will
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appear as someone logical and credible. This factor will, in turn, strengthen their confidence in you. Remember that risk is not something that they are afraid of. They actually seek it. So when you address the possibility of something going wrong up front, they are less likely to be scared away than other types of people. When you finish your presentation, it is extremely important to follow up with the enthusiast afterwards. They can be very excited and appear to be proactive. When you leave, they could begin to rethink things and have a completely different perspective the next time you talk to them. For that reason, it's especially important to keep a lot of communication open and consistently follow up with them with
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updates as to where you are in terms of the process.
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Module Twelve – Conclusion
Congratulations! You have now learned the Code of Influence. My hope is that as informative and comprehensive as this program is, that you find the information easy to understand and apply based on the way that I presented it. If you didn‟t, don‟t worry it will get easier with time like everything else. The more you listen to the audio modules and read the transcript, you will begin familiarizing yourself with the concepts. You‟ll begin to identify them in real life situations. At that point it will become easier for you to grasp.
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My goal in creating this program was to help you understand and leverage what might be the greatest quality that any human being can ever have. I have learned firsthand how powerful the ability to influence others can be. Those who have mastered this ability clearly live life with results that are magnified more than people who do not have this ability. They enjoy deep, meaningful relationships, have high income levels and have access to opportunities and resources that most others do not. You now have the opportunity to join them. Here are some final thoughts that I want to leave you with upon the conclusion of this book:
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You are worthy of everything that you desire; you just need a plan to get there. The key now is for you to take action. Action makes everything else effective and not taking action makes everything else useless. If you purchased this program to gain some knowledge that you have something interesting to talk about with people during conversations, that's great. However, if you really want to experience how powerful everything you read here is, you need to take action. Get out there and start selling. Remember until you can sell it, nothing else matters.
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