somedaysaregoodandthensomeday scomehometomedrunknotenumbero nehereismyhear tyoucanhaveitthere' tyoucanhaveitthere' snothingleftofmescenesiimagineina movie…drunknotenumbertwoimagin movie…drunknot enumbertwoimagin aryconversationswithmyselfsomeda ysaregoodandthensomedayscomeh ometomethisisapieceoffictiondrunkn ometomethisisapi eceoffictiondrunkn otenumberonehereismyheartyoucan haveitthere'snothingleftofmescenesii magineinamovie…drunknotenumber twoimaginaryconversationswithmys elfsomedaysaregoodandthensomed ayscomehometomethisisapieceoffict iondrunknotenumberonehereismyhe artyoucanhaveitthere'snothingleftof mescenesiimagineinamovie…drunk mescenesiimagineinamovie… drunk notenumbertwoimaginaryconversati onswithmyselfsomedaysaregoodan dthensomedayscomehometomedru dthensomeday scomehometomedru nknotenumberonehereismyhear tyou tyou canhaveitthere'snothingleftofmesce nesiimagineinamovie…drunknotenu nesiimagineinamovie…drunknot enu mbertwoimaginaryconversationswith myself ii m a g i n a r y c o n v e r myself s a t i o n s w i t h m y s e l f
1
hat's in this fucking book
w
epigraph
pg. 3
'some days are good and then some days' pg. 4-22 'come home to me' pg. 5 'drunk note number one' pg. 7 'here is my heart, you can have it there's nothing left of me' pg. 9 'scenes i imagine in a movie…' pg. 11-12 'drunk note number two ' pg. 1419 'imaginary conversations with myself' pg. 21
2
'everyone's so lonely, i dig it.' -sebadoh, 'not too amused'
3
some days are good and then some days you spell it simon and garfunkle 4
come home to me and kiss me and then let's fall asleep watching unsolved mysteries together and getting scared in the dark then make me breakfast in the morning in the cold fog and we'll walk through broadway market talking about the england team in the 1980s cleansweep me through fog like the england team in the 1980s and i will play such beautiful football for you like brazil, play for me i will take you to hackney downs and we will talk about your brother in the fog, you will be cold because you are so thin and always cold we will go to the anarchist vegan café near hackney downs and we will not say much but i will love you more this day than any other day i have known you many days and yet this day i love the most of all the days i have known you; you are eating pumpkin ravioli and i eat you i will eat you all the rest of the days that i know you, i will drink you i will lick you all the rest of our lives together because you are
5
some days are good
and then some days you stare unblinkingly at benedict cumberbatch for ten minutes straight
6
drunk note number one The faces hugging What the fuck are these faces Hugging So subjective saying please lets have drinks sometimes Meaningless You are not meaningless though I am drunk and this is happening "I love your blouse" fuck you love me me me me me me me me me me I want you to look up at me and take me out back and give me a right seeing to Think sex is extremely funny and sad simultaneously "what are you writing" Tempted to reply "about how I want you to fuck me" but decide against it This is why I shouldn't go out drinking Pretty sure I'm going to end up calling people from the bottom of a closet "come join the real world Paige" Too drunk for that There are candles in this bar We live in London why the fuck Are there candles In a bar In east london "whats wrong Paige" Someone come over and hug me or something Jesus Hug me please Feel my heart against your ribs Fun fact about life: it's alive
7
some days are good and then some days you eat Subway in Peckham at 9am
8
click here for the video 'here is my heart, you can have it there's nothing left of me'
if you are on a mobile phone please visit http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rnoBMuJZwvg
9
some days are good and then some days you listen to the baha men
10
Scenes I imagine could happen in a movie while ‘can’t take my eyes off of you’ by frankie valli and the four seasons plays in the background:
1) Intense sexual degradation/dominance sequence in which a man in a very nice suit takes off his belt and gags a woman, then very forcefully fucks her from behind to much enjoyment i) Ends with cum on face 2) Lover walking away from physical fight on hill, rips in stocking petals of blood on knees, shakily lighting up a cigarette and walking clumsily on heels in the rain 3) Extreme close-up of cigarette smoke blown out of a mouth, zoom out to a face inside an apartment, in the dark, in their underwear, luxuriating i) 70s lighting and shag carpets included 4) Out of focus argument between two people in an apartment, swimming through tousles of hair and large hand gesticulations, pivoting between still out of focus over-the-shoulder shots and offkilter angles before resting on the speculative house cat at the corner of the room
11
5) Very skittering, intense fucking in a broom closet; i) chain link fence; ii) bed of a truck; iii) alleyway near tube station (1) montage-style 6) Backlit couple dancing on hardwood floors, a) she; without shoes, bestockinged, b) he; holding her hand up to his. c) Faces smashed together, they dance completely in silhouette, but as the camera dollies up to their faces we see that neither feels anything but the numbness of their nothing dance moves, slumped faces together hoping to transmit emotions through osmosis. (1) The camera stays on a neutral gaze, downwards, before spiralling to the darkened floor and a cut to black.
12
some days are good and then some days you pick up a stranger's French Bulldog without asking
13
drunk note number two
Im wandering along Bethnal green and you are not answering Fu long tjinNk god auto Orr g every step is a thank youuu from god for tech o lossy Everyone is so lonelyr lonelyr II dog it I can't share this with you'd because you don't respect me You think in some segoxan vitcj s Who's dos t know what I mean Fuck you im Dr unk and housing eve event ow what this means Will you eve Skopje at me and think this I real love this Israel's love this is real love this risk is real love Beja al Fraser roofs NSAID nothing I M wRonf. Snd you don't even know I walked into the steer and. The phone corrected fore the stiff of the situation. I am just thou f and. A f going this Tia the tjisbt I don't evens care I am au drink what does it allm allmean I don't know why don't lover me the way I love yout you're a du jig jperson you don't even look ATMs 14
eBay does it mean fixlign phone don't auto roper med I'm trying to day pedals too you You are the love of my life won't this shot if ant Zhou agree. Ever going to Bruno's this is what I want to say to YOU what the fucke this is Richfield I want to tslan to you Abu Znt you jus t candy candy listen to SMS this is my life you ate my life now I want to tell you I want to scream at you what the fixk eBay then fuck Tiz is my phone I Am Drink Why rent you here Whey asewnry here toe here
EBERYUONE IUS SNO LO EBERY LOSLLNELY SLLNELY O DOGH IKT
15
O CAN'T SHARE THIS WHITH TOU YOU SLN T WASN'T TI HEAHR OT AHAY THE FUXL I AM DO CK CK FISED I AM NOT AMUSED WITH HUMANS TAKE ME GLME TAKE E YHOME TAKEE HOME HTALE HME HOME there are car s and I am wal walking I am At the merc mercxy xy of whatever car passss me by Cough couch couch Lovdmdlocd d Ink wop walojf it is going there are words there are there I want to yell people I am Heree But people walk past me I say go they say hi I say hello I Drink this is the streets why ar ent ent you here
16
WHU AER AERTENT TENT YOU HER HERE WHY AREBBT AREBB T YOU HETE EHY ATWNT ATWNT TOU HEYRE WHY AREN'T YOU UETE WHY ADE T YOU GETE WHY AREBT TOU TOU HERW AQHY AQHY ARE T TOU HERE XHRO CE HOME WHY AREN'T TOU TOU HWRE I QANT QANT YOUVHERE IWANT YOU HERE
n this phone wantse to tell you it's Kay it's all Okay but I am Not okay I want you here why aren't you her This phone will m not bet Cipher What the FUC FUCXL I ran into. a pole I want job HETE I want you here I want You here I aNt you here u am coughing yu ate not here whey I am needing you where are you jEJETE ATE ATE YOU EHETE EHETE STR JOU WHERE ARE TOU
17
WHERE ARE YPU WJERE ARE UOU
WEJRT ATE TOU
XHRIS CR LME HORM YPRE His whee where are you Llwarrn come home To me I love to Ishsni any I once took eight Xanax and drank a 40 of vodka on an Emory stomach Jud Ju dy to feel the heat and nothingness of being home I Greek the same ktcdj if drunk bke Youvm roll over and say limb talk to you've frontier ow You tmdav tomorrow I wil speak to YOU yinkirriue m 18
Tomorrow is another Xzavier Danirhetv chance do say say j ij love toyou toyou My phone is broken cut u love guy m I want YOU TI wake up and say thsvjbtoitc Paige You at beautfu Hyou Hyo ub are beautifu No an u bot Srinivas No am not drunk. I long you I love you is much.
19
some days are good and then some days you listen to 'careless whisper' six times in a row
20
click here for the video 'imaginary conversations with myself'
if you are on a mobile phone please visit http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TSZOHtEIql8
21
some days are good because after listening after listening to 'careless whisper' six times in a row, the sax man at Brixton station plays the intro as you're leaving.
22
