RELATIONSHIP
REWIND Rewind Your Relationship Back To Bliss Men’s Edition
CONTENTS Dedicaon
5
Forward
6
Introducon
8
What Is Relaonship Rewind?
9
Understanding Understanding the Dynamics of a Relaonship
10
Why Relaonship Rewind Works
11
Where to Start Your Relaonship Journey
14
The Stages of Relaonship Rewind
16
Reasons for a Relaonship Breakdown
18
Overcoming the Final Objecon
19
My Relaonship Rewind Journey 21
1: My Relaonship Rewind Journey
22
My Story: How It All Ended, Much to My Surprise
23
The Insider’s Perspecve: What I Discovered
26
The Concept of Geng Your Ex Back
27
Why I Believe She Will Take You Back
28
My Relaonship Rewind Experience
30
How Relaonship Relaonshi p Rewind Works
32
The Big Relaonship Rewind Reveal
34
Keynotes
35
2: The Relaonship Breakdown
36
Love Story: The Relaonship Breakdown
37
What Is the Relaonship Breakdown?
38
What Happens Aer the Relaonship Breakdown? Breakdown?
40
Moving On From a Relaonship Breakdown Breakdown
41
Idenfying the Choices You Want to Make
46
Keynotes
48
3: Relaonship Decay
49
Love Story: Relaonship Decay
50
What Is Relaonship Decay?
51
Relaonship Decay: Case Study
52
The Phases of Post-Relaonship Post-Relaonship Decay
55
How to Feel Beer About Relaonship Decay
57
Why Relaonship Decay Occurs
59
The Signs for Recognizing Relaonship Decay
61
Why You Must Stop Chasing Indierence Indierenc e
63
Keynotes
65
4: Death’s Door
66
What Is Death’s Door?
68
Moving Away From Death’s Door
70
Introducing the False Friendship
72
Crical Knowledge: Knowledge: The False Friendship Failure Rate
73
What the False Friendship is Not: The Friend Zone
75
Iniang the False Friendship During Deaths Door
76
Keynotes
79
5: The Magic Leer
80
WARNING
81
What is the Magic Leer?
82
Iniang the Magic Leer During Indierence
83
An Example of the Magic Leer in Acon
85
The Magic Leer Breakdown Breakdown
87
Why the Magic Leer Is So Eecve
92
Keynotes
94
6: Dri What Is Dri?
95 97
How She Will Approach the Final Stages of Dri
100
How Dri Can Lead to Indierence
101
Avoiding a Negave Bonding Experience
103
Always Approach with a Posive Bonding Experience
105
Keynotes
107
7: Switch
108
What Is Switch?
110
How to Tell When She Is In Switch
111
How to Challenge the Switch
113
Things to Avoid Doing in Switch
116
Case Study Part 1: Switch in Acon
117
Case Study Part 2: The Problem with Switch
119
Keynotes
121
8: Bliss
122
What Is Bliss?
124
Real Life Examples of Bliss
125
Emoon Emoo n First, Love Later (EF, (EF, LL)
127
Detonang the “Back to Bliss Bomb”
129
Introducing the “I Love You Ladder”
131
How to Use the “I Love You Ladder”
132
Keynotes
135
Conclusion
136
Truly Beneng from the Relaonship Rewind
137
Truly Beneng from the Relaonship Rewind
138
Your Relaonship Rewind User’ User ’s Guide:
139
Living and Loving with Bliss
140
Will She Love You As You Love Her?
141
Good Luck!
142
Glossary Bibliography
146-149 150
Dedication o my loving wife, best friend, and shining star, Tank you for teaching me how to love, for proofreading into the early hours, and for giving us a second chance. o my friends, who, when convinced I had lost my mind, did not turn their backs on me, and saw me through the nights when I couldn’t stand to be around myself. o my Mom and Dad, who constantly showed me what true love can be, and for reminding me never to let love go… if you are blessed enough to find it too.
Forward Somemes you nd a book, and somemes a book nds you. For me, Relaonship Rewind was the laer. I have read dozens of run-of-the-mill dang books, books, all lled with the same clichéd suggesons. Right o the bat, I was surprised to nd t his was not the same BS. Then, T hen, as I put the suggested techniques into acon (admiedly somewhat skepcal), I was amazed to nd my “relaonship” with my ex changing. I didn’t have to chase her to win her back. I didn’t have to keep calling and trying to break down her barriers. Instead, aer using the Relaonship Rewind, she unexpectedly asked me to meet up for a drink one day. day. From there, everything every thing clicked into place. We started dang a few weeks later, and now, aer almost a year, we set a date to make it all ocial. Not only did I win her back, but also somewhere along the way we discovered what love could be. What it could have been all along… For those starng their Relaonship Rewind journey, journey, I recommend taking acon on the ps in this book. I call it a “journey” because it truly is an eyeopening adventure. My only regret is waing to start unl aer I had nished reading. Looking back, I realized how much precious me had passed. Now, Now, instead of worrying about failing, I embrace the woman I love and know that no maer what happens we won’t become another failed relaonship stasc. If you are looking for truthful, direct advice about how to get your ex back, you’ve found it. I’m not saying this is an a n instantaneous cure, because it is not.
The author understands what you are facing and oers praccal advice to help you overcome each challenge. Once you progress through the customizable phases, you are rewarded with a second chance and so much more than that. Relaonship Rewind Rewind taught me that it is possible to go back and change things, but it only works if you really want it to. If you are commied to winning her back, then this book will help you. If you are just looking for ways to ll the void in your heart or space in your bed, this is not the book for you. Relaonship Rewind doesn’t work that way. It’s all about taking what was there, and bringing it back to life so that it’s stronger stronger than ever. ever. My advice is to be honest about the changes you want and appreciate your journey. journey. It’s an incredible opportunity opportunity to become the man you have always wanted to be, and the one she will always love.
Anthony P. Relaonship Rewind Member
Introduction
INTRODUCTION
What Is Relationship Rewind? Relaonship Rewind: The act of rewinding a relaonship to a me of complete happiness. Furthermore, this act prevents conict from occurring.
Relaonship Rewind Rewind is a unique method of restoring even the most broken relaonships. relaonships. It oers you an opportunity to correct experiences where you or she may have done something wrong, so you can restore the relaonship to a place of love, aecon, and inmacy. inmacy. Instead of feeling rejected and abandoned, you can use Relaonship Rewind to undo any damage. It’s so eecve it’s as if the damage never even happened! It changes how you and your partner respond to one another, another, removing the fricon that t hat occurs during the Relaonship Breakdown phase (you will learn about this in Chapter 2). No maer how traumac that experience, it is possible to go back in me to a place where you are the center of her world. It also gives you the skills to idenfy problems as they arise, so you can deal with them producvely. producvely. This also prevents the t he relaonship breakdown from happening again. The best thing about Relaonship Rewind is that you learn to use posive reinforcement to reward her for returning to Bliss. Instead of driving her away, away, you encourage her to come back to a state of Bliss on her own. It teaches her he r that you are someone
INTRODUCTION
she enjoys being around, and builds a natural yet durable aracon. When you learn the correct techniques to reward her, her, she will believe she is insgang the return of your relaonship. This is a crical observaon, as most men try tr y to convince their ex to get back together, together, but end up making things worse. They drive her away, away, and never win her aecon back.
Understanding the Dynamics of a Relationship A relaonship is the social bond we dene with a promise or a vow. vow. It demonstrates that you and she are are something more than individuals are. In a relaonship, you feel ownership towards your partner. She feels the same sa me for you. When you’re not in a relaonship, you sll share experiences, memories, thoughts, and feelings for each other. other. If she is not expressing these feelings, they are inacve or dormant, but they are sll there. These The se are the true essence of a relaonship. You You will receive aconable techniques throughout this book to help you reacvate this potenal. Aer a relaonship ends, women move as far as possible from the emoonal trauma. This is why you may believe that reversing a relaonship is impossible. You can probably feel her detachment. Many men wrongly believe this is the worst thing that can happen, as a s it feels irreversible, but you’ll be surprised to nd this is not true. Even if she won’t answer your calls today, there is hope for tomorrow.
INTRODUCTION
How you react to her need for distance is the deciding factor. factor. This is what Relaonship Rewind seeks to explore. It ’s all about returning to the same emoonal page. Relaonship Rewind ignites the blissful feelings felt when falling in love. These emoons reward her for pursuing an acve relaonship with you. If she loved you once, she sll does or can learn to love you again. It does not maer how long you were together or how much me you have been apart. The beauty of the Relaonship Rewind is that even the most heart wrenching of breakups become possible to reconnect. It doesn’t maer if she is lled with anger and hate, or if you haven’t spoken in years. Every relaonship can be rewound. I’m about to show you why.
Why Relationship Rewind Works While many of these ps can sustain a relaonship, this is not your typical dang advice. The informaon you are about to read is controversial and frowned upon by other so-called “dang experts.” This is because the purpose of Relaonship Rewind is to get your ex back, not something all experts agree
on. Many will tell you that some things are are best le in the past, or there are ‘plenty more sh in the sea.’ sea.’ We both know otherwise.
INTRODUCTION
However, However, I will give g ive you this cauonary advice: In order to be successful, you must be 100% sure your relaonship is worth saving. I cannot emphasize this enough. These radical techniques only rewind a healthy relaonship founded in love. If there was no love, you have lile to leverage. It is not impossible, but the results will not be as stellar. stellar. This is because the techniques that you will be using awaken the emoons that she has already felt, and bring them back into acon. It is also wise to note: A Relaonship Breakdown Breakdown is a traumac experience, no maer how long your connecon. The fresher those experiences are, the less accurate your ability will be to decide if she was truly “The One.” One.” I cannot tell you if she was or if your relaonship is worth saving, but neither can anyone else. You are the only person who can make this decision. Now is the me to begin looking at your relaonship objecvely. objecvely. Ask yourself: Are you uncondionally commied to winning her back? Do you know without a doubt that your life is much beer when she is around?
If the answer a nswer to both these quesons is ‘yes,’ ‘yes,’ then great! You are already on your way to seeking se eking Relaonship Resolve. This is when you stop looking at the Relaonship Breakdown Breakdown as an impossible task. Instead, you discover an opportunity to make things beer than ever. ever. It is this necessary mindset you will need in going
INTRODUCTION
forward, and one that will begin to spark her aracon to you once more. These techniques have helped transform hundreds of relaonships and can help you too. We will be looking at each in-depth in the coming chapters. For now, now, acknowledge their existence and embrace knowing that you have an arsenal of tools at your disposal! The techniques that will reward her for chasing you and embracing her emoons: 1. Emoon First, Love Later 2. The False Friendship 3. The Bliss Bomb
In this book, you will also explore the Relaonship Mechanisms I call: 1.
Dri
2.
Switch
3.
Bliss
In addion, I will teach you what Death’s Door is, and how you can move away from these escalang Relaonship Killers: Killers: 1. Relaonship Decay 2. Relaonship Breakdown Breakdown 3. Deaths Door
INTRODUCTION
Relaonship Killers are silent but deadly feelings that occur under the surface. They only show their face when it’ it ’s at the nal hour, hour, or aer the relaonship has ended. Knowing how to spot these before that monumental me, and learning how to set the t he relaonship back on course to Bliss means never having to face the end again. These are what make the Relaonship Rewind so eecve, and we will be exploring these concepts rst. In this book, you will learn how to transport your relaonship back to a beer me, where conversaon and sex happened freely and passionately. passionately. Where arguments were rare, and when she looked at you with a sparkle in her eye that told you without doubt, you are the only man for her. her. These techniques encourage her to come back to the relaonship on her own terms. She feels compelled and that it’s ‘the right thing to do.’ Understanding Understanding these Relaonship Mechanisms and knowing when to act are the secret sec ret to winning her aecon and adoraon for a lifeme.
Where to Start Your Relationship Journey As most Relaonship Breakdowns Breakdowns involve giving each other space, geng back on speaking terms is the best way to begin the Relaonship Rewind. The techniques most guys use drive her away, away, no maer how good their intenons. Learning to create a “False Friendship” ensures you do not make these mistakes. mistakes. If this sounds impossible or strange, you will be pleasantly surprised. This is not only remarkably easy to do, but also very powerful. Creang a False
INTRODUCTION
Friendship gives you a communicaon channel so you can use the steps in this book eecvely. The rst step we are going to take is one you can do on your own. It
Note: Without
will help bring clarity into your life.
this understanding, creang a
Whether you broke up yesterday or last year, year, you are hanging onto emoons that cause all sorts of side eects in your life. Your Your anger, anger, jealousy, jealousy, resentment, and other emoons are driving her away (possibly without you even realizing it). By leng these go, you create a deep sense of Relaonship Resolve. You You want to reach this crical point of acceptance of what has happened, with the condence to move forward. This Relaonship Resolve is also required to use the techniques in this book aconably, and oers a clear mindset to make the correct judgment calls. I cannot say this enough: Winning her back becomes one thousand mes easier when you are emoonally resolved, and able to see the t he relaonship in a posive light. This is precisely the me to be excited and even curious, because you are about to jump o the ledge. Geng her back will be quite an adventure!
False Friendship becomes impossible.
INTRODUCTION
The Stages of Relationship Rewind The stages of the Relaonship Rewind are easy to implement. They are designed to help you start from the moment the relaonship ends, to the moment you are back together, together, and can be used at every point in-between. All you have to do is pinpoint which phase you are in and read that secon. Each secon will lead you back into Bliss. This is why she feels compelled to move the relaonship back into an acve status on her terms. Before we can fully understand that, I want to help you seek your Relaonship Resolve. By understanding why the Relaonship Breakdown occurred, you will each be more responsive to t he following techniques. I hope that by beginning to understand why the relaonship broke down, or where in the process you are, you will feel empowered. Consider these next points closely, closely, and aim to nd out where your relaonship ended.
INTRODUCTION
Here Are The Three Major Stages Of The Relaonship Breakdown: Breakdown: 1. Relaonship Decay:
This phase is where you may begin to feel the relaonship is not as happy or as blissful as once was. It is oen dicult to pinpoint why that is, but the feelings of ‘it’s not quite right’ become increasingly tangible. All relaonships that are not in a state of Bliss experience some degree of Relaonship Decay. 2. Relaonship Breakdown: Breakdown:
When the Relaonship Decay becomes noceable, you move into the awareness phase called the Relaonship Breakdown. Breakdown. This is when you or she may take considerable considerable acons based on those negave emoons. You may be arguing frequently or generally moving further apart. This can lead to an ocial break up. 3. Deaths Door:
Deaths Door occurs aer the breakup, and is an intense phase of sheer frustraon and confusion. The hope of reconciliaon feels small (though this is far from impossible to change). She may or may not talk to you, but she is set in her resolve. You are on Deaths Door when you she seeks complete independence from the relaonship. It is important to point out that while these sound serious, and they absolutely are, they are not impossible to overcome. You have the tools you need to overcome these easily.
INTRODUCTION
While it can be dicult to think back to that me, it is crical for the healing process. Think objecvely where in this series you are, and a nd how you are now
interacng compared to when you were in your relaonship. Now that you know these phases exist, it should inspire curiosity into why they happened. We will be coming back to these in more depth regularly, regularly, but for now, now, accept them. Study them. Find peace with them.
Reasons for a Relationship Breakdo Breakdown wn It doesn’t maer how rich, aracve, or successful you are, or how long you were together, together, breaking up is an a n unpleasant experience. It has the potenal to make you feel dierent negave emoons, which can make the situaon feel worse than it appears. You may feel angry, angry, feelings of failure, or helplessness. These vary from person to person, and none is wrong, but they must be overcome. I’m about to show you how that is possible. What might surprise you is that in almost every case, humans only break up for two reasons. The Two Major Reasons Breakups Occur Are: You were in a dierent phase of the relaonship than her The relaonship wasn’t emoonally rewar rewarding. ding.
When you are in two dierent phases, communicaon and compromise are dicult to reach as you each have dierent goals. This can lead to the second reason, which occurs when one or both people feel that the relaonship is not meeng the desired goals. You may experience one or both of these, but the fact remains the same. You were moving in a dierent direcon, and it caused an
INTRODUCTION
emoonal response that put the relaonship in jeopardy. jeopardy. As these two points have innite outcomes, how you approach them will be dierent. This is why the Relaonship Rewind oers a customizable plan. Only you know why your relaonship ended, and which highs and lows it experienced. These answers unlock the secrets on whether you are in Switch, Dri, or Bliss, and how to respond according to this book. Perhaps you were unhappy, unhappy, and Dried on your own without talking to her about those feelings. Maybe she made a decision without you that le you stranded. Either way, the outcome remains the same. Appreciate these feelings of awareness, they will bring you closure. Once you nd the reason why, why, you can follow the steps provided.
Overcoming the Final Objection If you sll feel your relaonship is doomed or hopeless, you must learn to venture on with posive goals in mind. You will not be able to use the steps in this book if your doubt and anxiety overshadow your love for her. For this reason, I have included a bonus, which gives you instant access to my Mind Calm techniques. These will improve how you are feeling, so you can start on a successful path to relaonship success.
INTRODUCTION
To access Mind Calm, please visit v isit the Relaonship Rewind Member’ Member ’s Area and a nd click on “Mind Calm.” Alternavely, Alternavely, you can click the link below and log in from here: hps://member.dicarlocoaching.com/ One of the biggest pieces of advice is to accept me passing and use it to create healing and understanding. You You both need me
Remember:
to process your emoons. There is only so much you can do
The Relaonship
without pushing her away. away. If you charge in now without the correct
Rewind is not
mindset, or without fully understanding understanding the techniques oered,
a method to win her back
you risk losing her for good. The rest you must leave to me’s me’s
overnight, but to
capable hands.
win her back for good.
You will be uncovering the magic behind these techniques soon.
Ryan Rivers Creator of The Relaonship Rewind System
1 My Relationship Rewind Journey
CHAPTER 1: MY RELATIONSHIP REWIND JOURNEY
Chapter 1: My Relationship Rewind Journey Welcome to the Relaonship Rewind! Rewind! Before we jump into the good stu, I want to take a moment to introduce myself, myself, and tell you a bit about my Relaonship Rewind journey. journey. I hope that by reading about my experiences and those of my Relaonship Rewind clients, you will be hopeful. You will see why even the most devastang relaonships were healed using posive acons. You will discover why these acons in turn were so remarkable, and where those relaonships now are. This can be a rewarding me, but only if you go into it with the right mindset. At the end of the day, day, love should be pleasurable. Enjoy these stories at their face value. We all make mistakes, mistakes, but how we confront speaks loudly. loudly. No relaonship is perfect, perfect, but it can be close when you know how to reward the posives. You should always be moving towards a posive goal; otherwise, othe rwise, you are just seng yourself yourself up for a relaonship disaster. disaster. This is why we talk about moving forward to Bliss using posive reinforcement. reinforcement. So with that said, I want to tell you about the night it all went wrong for me. This isn’t an easy story to share, but one that is necessary to understand.
CHAPTER 1: MY RELATIONSHIP REWIND JOURNEY
My Story: How It All Ended, Much to My Surprise
One
night, home from work late and exhausted, I arrived to discover the living room torn apart and in its place, an assortment of
boxes and suitcases scaered across the oor. There, above the chaos and confusion was my childhood sweetheart. She was teary eyed and moving around with a phone secured to one shoulder as she threw her stu into various containers. Had it been any other night, my amusement at her ability to hit every shot would have made both of us laugh. She wasn’t the most agile creature, oen tripping and falling. She called me her savior, and joked that I should paint a red cross on my white
horse. As she set the the phone down, down, she jumped, now now realizing that that I had entered. Her usual carefree smile and welcoming arms were replaced with a stern, “How much did you hear?” I shrugged, and playfully asked if she was hiding something from me. Her expression was one that I will never forget, and as she stared vacantly into the wall behind, it nally dawned on me. What she said next was unbelievable, “I’m going to stay with friends; I’ll come come back for the rest soon.” soon.” Memories ashed before my eyes, retracing the steps back as if somehow, my brain could work out what went wrong and gure out how to x it. I couldn’t nd any answers. She explained she had wanted to leave before I came home. She didn’t mean to hurt me, and apologized for the mess, but as fast as she said it, she was gone.
CHAPTER 1: MY RELATIONSHIP REWIND JOURNEY
In the weeks that followed, I never could understand what went wrong. I started avoiding others in a hopeless aempt to hide my pain. It wasn’t right that she should be free, leaving me behind. We swore that we would be together forever. Nevertheless, as the ring I intended to give her sat mockingly in my pocket, I wondered what forever even meant. It was all gone… she was gone. When I saw my friends, they said I had to get a grip; I had to get over her. For the rst me, I knew they were wrong. I had to win her back. It was as if the decision sprang forth and was so obvious and crystal clear. I felt free. Instead of falling into a sullen slumber, I cleared o a desk and began to rush around looking for clues, ideas, anything that would help me win her back. Unknowingly, I had found my Relaonship Resolve. Over the following months, I did everything I could to make contact with her. Her friends were kind, but I knew they were screening her calls and hiding her from me. If we could just sit down and talk, I knew she would see how big a mistake she had made, but it was fule. In trying to contact her, it felt like I was only driving her away. I sll had no idea why she le; the unanswered quesons were driving me crazy…
CHAPTER 1: MY RELATIONSHIP REWIND JOURNEY
One night, as I was looking back through old photos, wondering how she came to be mine, it nally dawned on me. She had chosen me. I had been shy in high school, something that despite my best eorts remained true to this day. She had had many suitors, all promising her the the world, and when when she sat by me in class, she smiled easily when I accepted her oer of help; it was as if she didn’t need saving, she wanted to save the world. When she wanted to be with me, that’s when the real magic happened. Suddenly, everything changed in that moment… I realized if I wanted to win her aecon, I had to use that same method. One that would make her want me back. It was no use trying to chase her down. I would end up rejected like those other guys. She would put up her defense and become leery (something I couldn’t stomach thinking about). When I thought back to that fateful day, I was reminded of how simple and easy the conversaon owed… It was then that Relaonship Rewind was born.
CHAPTER 1: MY RELATIONSHIP REWIND JOURNEY
The Insider’s Perspectiv Perspective: e: What I Discovered I realized no maer how much you love someone there are certain spulaons that must be met. Especially if you want to her to love you in return. She is not going to take you back because you feel a certain way. She will take you back though if she feels compelled to be with you again. Many Relaonship Breakdowns Breakdowns leave two people torn apart. It’ It ’s not because the love died, but because of the way they were interacng. Also, it is possible that she le because she felt the relaonship would never work, and as hard as that may be to hear hea r, she may be right. A decision to end your relaonship has been made, but ideas, opinions, and feelings change. I spent months, almost years guring out what makes a strong, grounded relaonship, and I am learning all a ll the me. What I do know, know, is that when something challenging appears, the Relaonship Mechanisms in this book can help you react in a posive way, way, and get the results you want. It gives you that fresh perspecve, and new way to approach. That’s the beauty of what you are going to read. You You will see that t hat everything about your relaonship is open to change.
CHAPTER 1: MY RELATIONSHIP REWIND JOURNEY
The Concept of Getting Your Ex Back What you must realize, is that “geng “geng your ex back” is an inaccurate phrase. What you want to do is make your ex want you back. There is a massive dierence in coercing someone, and them taking acon on their t heir own; and the results are equally dierent. If you convince her to come back into the relaonship, sure it might work, but only for a short while. The cracks will soon begin to emerge. Instead, when you learn to make her want you back without feeling guilt, regret, or any other negave emoons, I am condent you will see the same responsiveness that I did. Finding out why the Relaonship Breakdown Breakdown occurred is one of rst quesons you must answer. Then, discover how to ignite aracon, passion, and emoonal bonding. These are all amazing ways to share how you feel without pushing her way. way. Also, in doing so, you will be put on a pedestal above all other men. Women are born to nurture and protect; it calls to them on a biological level. That is not to say women want to date someone weak, far from it. Nevertheless, if you can make her focus me and energy, energy, then you rebuild a bond that is almost impossible to break. These techniques have passed rigorous tesng and are the backbone of Relaonship Rewind. Moreover, Moreover, they have helped countless couples reunite. I found that by rewinding the relaonship back to the me when you were both enamored with one another, another, you get the t he Bliss
CHAPTER 1: MY RELATIONSHIP REWIND JOURNEY
back. Meaning you will also bypass the Relaonship Breakdown, Breakdown, which enables you to start fresh with the worry of it all going wrong. Many “dang experts” would disagree with these ideas, but for us, it has proven to be the most successful and rewarding method.
Why I Believe She Will Take You Back She loved you once, and there is the strongest possibility possibility she sll does. Her love, inspired from months or years together, together, did not suddenly vanish. It isn’t possible to wake up one morning and fall out of love, no maer how many mes you wish it so. The same goes for her. her. The eort required to get over those emoons can take a staggeringly long me. In fact, I was surprised to nd this can take years to happen. Then there are some people who never fall out of love. For them, those feelings are as strong for a lifeme. Why is that? This is because love is not a mere me re emoon, but a connecon we build with someone and is dependent on biology. The hormones Oxytocin and Vasopressin, create create a feeling of love, are two of the most potent chemicals in existence. These chemicals bond a mother to her child, and you to a miserable existence without her by your side (BBC 2009). When you create the intoxicang “passion hormones,” hormones,” Dopamine, Serotonin, and Norepinephrine; you produce a “Bliss Bomb” that feels like an explosion in her brain.
CHAPTER 1: MY RELATIONSHIP REWIND JOURNEY
These chemicals create the feeling that everything is magical. These incredible emoons throw us so recklessly into love; we oen overlook the fact that there is an art and a science to falling in love. The real beauty is that despite these the se Relaonship Mechanisms, it feels remarkably easy and natural. All these
Voles:
A small rodent
emoons and feelings can be found once more. It happens when
resembling a
you learn how to make her heart and body surrender rst.
mouse but with a stouter body;
What is even more staggering is that there is i s no cure for love.
also known as a eld mouse. They are a
The only known way to crack a pair bond (a feeling of oneness
notable animal
between two subjects), is by removing one hormone. When
model for its
sciensts at the University of Illinois removed Vasopressin
monogamous sexual delity,
from test voles, they wanted to see if voles could bond without
since the male is
hormonal inuence (Velasquez 2013). The surprising results
usually faithful
concluded that only in this t his extreme circumstance was it possible
to the female.
to remove love completely. completely. This means that the true desire to run from Bliss is missing. Vasopressin:
As it is impossible that she removed the Vasopressin from her body, body, she cannot truly t ruly fall out of love from you. She is sll bonded on an emoonal level, even if she doesn’t want to be.
A horomone that aer intercourse is released into the body that creates the
However, However, there was a second shocking revelaon from this study. study. When the once mated voles were reintroduced to Vasopressin, they fell in love. It was instant and the results happened as if they had never parted. The bond that was there was established at a breakneck speed, and lasted for the duraon of their lives. Sciensts believe that humans work in the same way as they connect using the same hormones (Perlman 2013).
desire to stay with his mate
CHAPTER 1: MY RELATIONSHIP REWIND JOURNEY
This means, if you trigger her emoonal connecon and ood her body with Vasopressin, she will be bonded again to you and only you.
My Relationship Rewind Experience When mentoring men, who couldn’t understand why their relaonship ended, something extraordinary dawned on me. Women are paent, but not impossibly so. If you do not realize what is going wrong in your relaonship or want to make amends, then you risk her walking out without so much as a glance back. It is your responsibility to make make sure you do not give her unnecessary reasons to leave. This is why that burning desire to know what went wrong is so important. It is nature’s way way of sending up a red ag a g that you are a re missing something crical. Yes, relaonships work on mutual aracon, trust and respect. However, you need to know how each of the sexes is dierent too. These dierences give you the key ingredients to help guide the relaonship back onto the tracks of success. Just as, you can lead a horse to water, water, but you cannot make it drink; you can provide an Oasis in the harsh desert that begs her to take advantage of her desire for you. It’s I t’s human insnct at its nest and most authenc. We all have Vasopressin, Vasopressin, and yes, we all have this potenal to reconnect. However, However, men and women ignite these chemical explosions in completely dierent ways.
CHAPTER 1: MY RELATIONSHIP REWIND JOURNEY
No one follows a specic formula to fall in love; that’ that ’s the magic. However, However, just like a magician, there are triggers that occur behind the scenes for the “trick” of love to happen. You might think that knowing how to conceal a trick will make your “magic” successful, but a true showman is able to take it a step further. further. He makes someone believe in magic. When you understand how women uniquely feel this magic, everything clicks into place. It’s no secret that women respond on a deeply emoonal level, but here is why this observaon is so signicant. Men are visual creatures, which mean they try tr y to show their aecon. Women Women need to be told and armed a rmed of this desire to feel and understand its power. When you learn how to use her language and desire, you unlock the mystery that plagues most men. If you follow these suggesons, she will be hooked on you. You will use language and acons that t hat resonate with her on a uniquely biological level, acvang her emoonal response. In other words, now is your opportunity to create the same awe as the magician. When she falls for you, a Bliss Bomb will explode in her mind. This powerful device will set a series of events into moon that will bond you together for a lifeme. It calls to her biological mechanisms and makes you irresisble. What I failed to menon though, is that the Bliss Bomb is also highly addicve. In fact, it has shown the same neurological ne urological response response levels as drug addicon, hence why we call love intoxicang. That means, anyme the Bliss begins to dwindle, you can
CHAPTER 1: MY RELATIONSHIP REWIND JOURNEY
reacve your Bliss Bomb and reveal your next slice of “magnec aracon.”
How Relationship Rewind Works Relaonship Rewind Rewind is an eecve process that teaches you how to rewind, rekindle, and restart your relaonship in a way that doesn’t hold onto the past. It gives you a clean slate and the opportunity to nd love again. It doesn’t diminish what you had, but shows you new ways to feel the emoons you already have, and turn them into a solid foundaon for a new relaonship. I will introduce you to Relaonship Decay. Decay. This is the subconscious stage of the Relaonship Breakdown, Breakdown, which creates emoonal damage and unrest when Bliss is not present. This is the facilitator for a Relaonship Breakdown. The Relaonship Breakdown is where conscious awareness of Relaonship Decay manifests as arguments or an ocial breakup. These acons can land you in the high-risk zone called
Note:
Deaths Door.
Deaths Door is a stage where you could lose
Deaths Door is the moment when you realize you want
her forever if
your relaonship back (aer an ocial breakup), but she
you do not take
has a resolve to remain detached. You You feel like you are at an
considerable
impossible standsll.
care. That’s not to say overcoming
I will teach you about my Relaonship Mechanisms called
these hurdles is
Dri, Switch, and Bliss and show you how to avoid common
impossible, but
Relaonship Killers.
it does require mastery.
CHAPTER 1: MY RELATIONSHIP REWIND JOURNEY
These techniques, when used correctly, correctly, prevent Relaonship Decay. I will teach you how to turn those feels of detachment and unrest into desire and Bliss. This is remarkable, as it also reduces the risks of the relaonship failing again. Turning your dang status back “on” is about making her feel compelled to restore the foundaons of your relaonship. Other dang advice only helps you chase her down and win her back over. over. When you know how to Switch her perspecve, you will reward her for chasing you. Then she will realize all the incredible things she has been bee n missing and yearning for. for. It stops you from feeling things are impossible, replacing them t hem instead with joy. Finally, Finally, I will teach teac h you how to iniate Bliss. While W hile it is important to let nature work its magic and allow these feelings to transpire, transpire, there are ways to kick-start kick-start the process. This will also become a talking point in Chapter 3, where I will show you how to reverse the eects of the most impossible feelings of Relaonship Breakdown, Deaths Door. These are the feelings of absolute joy that you once had for each other, other, which many believe to be a temporary “Honeymoon” phase. These feelings will make her fall for you again, and I will teach you how to keep the passion alive for as long as you want it. Bliss is incredible, necessary, and the most potent dang tool you will ever own. It is also incredibly easy to acvate, no maer how doomed your relaonship feels.
CHAPTER 1: MY RELATIONSHIP REWIND JOURNEY
The Big Relationship Rewind Revea Reveall When you apply a pply these steps together, together, something remarkable happens. It took me by surprise, yet I see it happen every day. People come to me and tell me that their relaonships are stronger, more passionate, and beer than ever. My clients are grateful for a second chance, and a nd are fortunate to have an opportunity to put their relaonship back together. together. These steps also use posive reinforcement, reinforcement, which seems to work on a dierent level than any other dang advice I have ever seen. When you acvate the Relaonship Rewind, Rewind, you make it feel like it is her idea and that she is going to take you back. I know this sounds ridiculous, but when you stop chasing her and start rewarding her for insgang a relaonship, you will be amazed at how responsive she is. All she wants to do is call, think about geng back together, together, and how breaking up was a massive ma ssive mistake; mistake; no maer how angry she is, trust me. What you have in your possession is a powerful tool specically designed to win her back and keep her this me. me . In order for you to get the most from this tool, I want you to go into these steps with a posive atude. Now is the me me to leave your emoonal baggage at the t he door and step into a world of opportunity. opportunity. This can be an extremely rewarding me and I’m really happy you are joining us.
CHAPTER 1: MY RELATIONSHIP REWIND JOURNEY
Keynotes At the end of each chapter, chapter, I will include keynotes. While you can get through this book in a few days, understanding understanding the necessary steps will take longer. longer. No one becomes a master of anything in a few days. Come back and review these lessons oen to get the most out of them.
• Understandi Understanding ng what caused the Relaonship Breakdown is important, but will not stand in the way of posive reconciliaon. • Without understanding understanding where you are emoonally emoonally,, the steps steps you take will only drive her away. • Always go into the Relaonship Relaonship Rewind with a posive posive mindset. • If you are unable to think think clearly and objecvely objecvely,, then click on the Mind Calm link below for further assistance • The Relaonship Rewind will will teach you how to acvate dormant or inacve feelings in her, her, so her desire to come back to you will be natural. • Relaonship Rewind will provide provide you with the necessary necessary steps to spark her aracon, while prevenng Relaonship Decay from occurring.
2 The Relationship Breakdown
CHAPTER 2: THE RELATIONSHIP BREAKDOWN
Love Story: The Relationship Breakdown Introducing Aaron and Emma: Aaron and Emma got together two summers ago. He was aending a conference with some big shot company, company, and was hoping to land the perfect deal. He had it all in front of him, and was an ambious go-geer who quickly outgrew his small rural town. One of the girls he met at the conference, Emma, kept in touch, and as things connued to go his way, their connecon grew. grew. It wasn’t long before they were dang, and Aaron was calling home to say he wouldn’t be back for a while. As the weeks turned into months, Aaron would call and share all the awesome things he was doing, while Emma was right there with him. They sounded incredibly happy. happy. Like any young couple in love, frequent Facebook posts showed photos of two happy people enjoying their life. Aer a while, the updates came less and people rarely heard from Aaron. They thought it was his demanding career and didn’t think anything of it. As the months m onths turned into a year, year, people began talking again. They all assumed a ssumed Aaron was living the good life. What they didn’t realize was that he and Emma had broken broken up. The Relaonship Breakdown had taken a toll on him.
CHAPTER 2: THE RELATIONSHIP BREAKDOWN
Aaron was working long hours and turned down the t he opportunity to move to the next branch. He hoped that by staying in town, he and Emma would gure things out. That’s when an unexpected phone call arrived; one that made it apparent what Aaron had really been doing for so long. To be connued…
What Is the Relationship Breakdown? Relaonship Breakdo Breakdown: wn: The sensive me when you acknowledge the end of your relaonship is near. Oen, this phase leads to an ocial break-up.
The Relaonship Breakdown is not the me when you decide to end the relaonship, but the me before an impending breakup when things are admiedly dicult and tense. The Relaonship Breakdown is also the noceable me during or aer the Relaonship Decay has set in. This phase happens when the “cracks” “cracks” in your bond become obvious. Although the length of this phase varies between couples, feeling lost is common. What is weird about the Relaonship Breakdown Breakdown is most couples look back and can easily see that this me was the moment the
CHAPTER 2: THE RELATIONSHIP BREAKDOWN
relaonship started ending. Yet it is usually overlooked at the me. This is because during the Relaonship Breakdown Breakdown you feel happy on some days and worse on others. It isn’t usually unl aer everything is said and done that most men look back and wonder how dierent it could have been. You might realize that things she said were not only true, but also drenched with emoonal turmoil. You You might see how you reacted in what appeared a perfectly normal way, way, could have been taken in a dierent context with this new light. That’s the power of hindsight, and why I always advice allowing as much me as possible to pass. It can be the most revealing when looking back on the Relaonship Breakdown. Breakdown. The good news is the Relaonship Rewind gives you a unique opportunity to correct those cracks, by simply being aware they exist. However, However, it is important not to kick yourself about how obvious they are now. Your feelings are always uctuang. The opportunies now open to you are essenally the opposite of the Relaonship Breakdown, where you begin to feel beer every day.
CHAPTER 2: THE RELATIONSHIP BREAKDOWN
What Happens After the Relationship Breakdown? Many men act quickly aer a Relaonship Breakdown, without realizing that every acon (no maer how good your intenon) can have a devastang eect. If she starts seeing someone else, your inability to support her decision can drive a wedge between you. It makes you look as if you are unable to move forward from the relaonship. It also solidies her resolve in ending it as you appear a ppear “needy” “needy ” or “clingy, clingy,” and is all-round unaracve behavior. Similarly, Similarly, if you try tr y to keep a friendship frie ndship going with a glaring g laring intent to get back together, together, you might mig ht feel perplexed at her sudden Switch as she distances herself from you. This is because you each need to me reach emoonal stability. stability. Without stability, stability, you will not be able to take the right steps to rewind your relaonship. You will fall into emoonal traps, which pushes her further away. away. As you understand the stages, you will learn crical milestones when she will be most recepve to you. You You begin to show her the changes you are a re making and approach her with aracve, desirable qualies. However, However, these only work if you can restore condence in yourself, yourself, and in your ability to create a healthy relaonship. Equally necessary to consider is how you feel about your relaonship. Your memories and emoons change over me, and gaining clarity about how you feel about the Relaonship Breakdown. Breakdown.
CHAPTER 2: THE RELATIONSHIP BREAKDOWN
This will shape the choices you make. For now, you must restore your clarity and objecvity; otherwise, other wise, your emoons will cloud your judgment. The great news is you are about to learn how to recover from the Relaonship Breakdown, and you will learn how to become clear again. We will look at how to prepare for the Relaonship Rewind before you make your rst move (to reduce the risk of falling vicm to mistakes). It takes a strong man to make amends, and the fact you are here shows a great deal about your character. character. What you do not realize, is that she will also be recepve to these changes. You are making great advancements in learning how to approach her with those posive aributes she will feel compelled by. As you unravel these techniques, you will learn to reward her for iniang the Relaonship Rewind. Do not worry; I have every faith you will succeed!
Moving On From a Relationship Breakdown As you move into understanding, I want you to be perfectly truthful with yourself. yourself. The fact remains that your relaonship did end. If you understand why and where you are now, a new opportunity to move forward will present itself. itself. Look past any animosity you feel and ask, “Why did the Relaonship Breakdown occur? Is there anything you can pinpoint as a theme of your Breakdown?” This will give you an idea of where you can start improving.
CHAPTER 2: THE RELATIONSHIP BREAKDOWN
Below, Below, I want you to write down ve things that could have caused your relaonship to breakdown. breakdown. These could be things she said or how you felt. There is no right or wrong answer and anything you disclose will be only be seen by you. The more objecve and honest you can be, the beer your chances of rewinding the relaonship. When you start to see the answers in front of you, it is much easier to remain objecve. If it is impossible to think objecvely, then try the Mind Calm bonus secon rst. hps://member.dicarlocoaching.com/ You may be amazed at how quickly your doubts and frustraons surface. This will help you come to terms with those feelings. Remember, Remember, these will not prevent you from moving forward. Instead, each one will become an aconable step that you can take to win her back. Think of this like planning a trip. You You already know where you want to go, now you know which route to take and what “roadblocks” to avoid. This means you can plan dierent routes routes and detours, which will help you get her back faster.
CHAPTER 2: THE RELATIONSHIP BREAKDOWN
Five Things That Caused Your Your Relaonship to End: 1.
2. 3. 4. 5.
The above reasons might be one theme or they might be a variety of factors; either is normal and happens all the me . It should give you more of an idea of “why. “why.” Although none of these reasons are as important as what I‘m about a bout to reveal. The real reason your relaonship ended is that somewhere deep inside, your relaonship stopped being rewarding and fun. It wasn’t what it started out being... Your Bliss factor burned out. Think back to the two quesons that we spoke about; the two only true reasons for a Relaonship Breakdown. Breakdown. I bet you meet one or both of those points. In front of you is the answer to those two important quesons. Now you can discover if you were moving in two dierent direcons, and furthermore why the Bliss burnt out. This is an incredibly revealing exercise. See if you can pinpoint
CHAPTER 2: THE RELATIONSHIP BREAKDOWN
any unhappiness or emoonal distress in the reasons above. I bet you will nd unhappiness in all of them. Again, do not beat yourself up. You now have a clearer idea of where your relaonship went wrong, and have specic areas to improve. These are specic to your relaonship and will oer you crical insight into areas where she will be most sensive in approaching. This also means implemenng the core techniques in this book will be super simple. Take Take me to congratulate and acknowledge the changes you are making. Rebuilding the Foundaons of a Stronger Relaonship The next exercise will help you decide where you want your relaonship to go. There are reasons why you want her back and objecfying those will guide you back into the relaonship with clarity. Also, concrete reasons reduce your risk of falling back into old rounes. It is not enough to want her back. Ask yourself, yourself, “What it is about her that makes ma kes her more remarkable than any other woman in the world?” You could just as easily date someone else, but you have made a decision dec ision to sck by her. her. Why is that? Write down ve things about her that is unique, so that you have something to fall back on in mes when you are feeling uncertain.
CHAPTER 2: THE RELATIONSHIP BREAKDOWN
Five Things That Make This the Right Relaonship for You: You: 1.
2. 3. 4. 5.
By acknowledging the reasons why the relaonship was signicant, you should feel more movated. By understanding how she shines, you can use this informaon to win her back in a way that no other man can. Seeing her he r strong points might also be refreshing, as a Relaonship Breakdown can make us focus on the negaves. Take some me to enjoy these feelings too, you deserve them. Now that you have a greater understanding understanding of where you have been, where you are, and where you want to move forward to and why; you should be feeling relief and a nd even condence in your ability to win her back. Relaonship Breakdowns Breakdowns are distressing because of the unknown, and much like fear, are can be overcome by facing them with honesty and clarity. While this isn’t an easy process, it is worthwhile and important.
CHAPTER 2: THE RELATIONSHIP BREAKDOWN
Moreover, Moreover, you have already been successful in starng, so for that, I salute you!
Identifying the Choices You Want to Make The next step to take is to objecfy what you want from the relaonship. You have all the informaon at your disposal to make informed goals, which will provide a solid foundaon for a healthy relaonship. By understanding what you want before geng back together, together, you won’t become blindsided by the incredible feelings that come at you. Now is a great me to be perfectly honest about the things that you were unhappy with last me, and then seek see k to make amends. Write down what it was that caused the relaonship to end, or that made you feel less than great g reat in it. Do not be scared to write down things that you or she did, as these will become a template of things to avoid in the future.
CHAPTER 2: THE RELATIONSHIP BREAKDOWN
Five Mistakes You Do Not Want to Repeat: 1.
2. 3. 4. 5.
While you might think it is silly to write down what you want in your relaonship, these are important. By having this informaon, you build a level of condence and a nd awareness that is irresisble to women. You will show her you are a man ma n of acon. So keep this informaon locked away, unl you reach the nal stage of Bliss, where you will acvate these changes for a lifeme. I will let you know when the me is right!
CHAPTER 2: THE RELATIONSHIP BREAKDOWN
Keynotes
• Underst Understanding anding why why the Relaonship Relaonship Breakdown Breakdown occurred oers insight into the choices you must make. • It also answers the one amazingly frustrang queson, why why the relaon ended. • How you react to the Relaonship Breakdown will shape the choices she makes and either move her away from you or draw her towards you. • Creang space is crical. This will will help you you think clearly. clearly. Space also gives you me to heal. Use this me wisely to respect her space, and encourage your own healing. • You must be emoonally stable; stable; otherwise, you will push her away and send out the wrong signals. • Once you have allowed allowed the necessary me to pass, starng starng the rst stage will become obvious and natural
3 Relationship Decay
CHAPTER 3: THE RELATIONSHIP DECAY
Love Story: Relationship Decay Aaron and Emma: Aaron called home late one night and seemed out of sorts. Nothing he said made much sense and his usual carefree atude was replaced with a tangible worry. worry. He bumbled through the conversaon, as if waing to be asked what was wrong. Then, the dam burst open. It was as if months of frustraon came tumbling out, and what was even more surprising was his complete shock at everything he was saying. It was as if he was living someone else’s life. life. He was worried Emma might be seeing someone else. He didn’t say why, just that he could feel something wasn’t right, and nothing he said made any sense. He spoke about how things hadn’t felt right for a while, how she was distant and complacent. Anyme he tried to ask her what was wrong, she would storm o to another room. Then eventually, eventually, she would just leave the house and she wouldn’t wouldn’t come back for long periods of mes, stang she was “with friends.” friends.” When Aaron nally thought things were changing, it seems see ms those changes were not for the reasons he once thought. To be connued…
CHAPTER 3: THE RELATIONSHIP DECAY
What Is Relationship Decay? D ecay? Relaonship Decay: The me when a relaonship begins to break down without either partner realizing it. This can happen over a long period with no more than a feeling of emoonal unrest.
In its most simplisc form, Relaonship Decay is when two people slowly stop communicang and embracing one another romancally. Over the duraon of weeks, months, or even years, they begin to distance from their lover. lover. In this me, the feelings of unrest may surface occasionally. Relaonship Relaonship Decay for the t he most part is undetectable, as our moods m oods and emoons change constantly. constantly. What could just be an argument to you may be the signs of a much deeper concern for her. In Relaonship decay, neither person is willing to explore of express these concerns. Aer prolonged exposure to Relaonship Decay, a Shi in consciousness moves the couple into the Relaonship Breakdown phase. This may or may not end in an ocial break up. For these reasons, it can be hard to pinpoint exactly what went wrong without understanding what Relaonship Decay is. Relaonship Decay is similar to an Oak tree. The outside may look healthy, healthy, but inside an infecon can rot and while down a
CHAPTER 3: THE RELATIONSHIP DECAY
tree’s tree’s integrity. integrity. The damage may even go unseen for many years unl a storm (an acve moment) uproots the tree, much to the t he surprise of those around. a round. Relaonship Relaonship Decay takes me to take to seep into the structure of a relaonship, but the eects are as devastang and long lasng.
Relationship Decay: Case Study The potenal for Relaonship Decay is always present and is happening to all couples at all mes. Unawareness of this negave process can lead to an emoonal trigger moment, where the Relaonship Decay becomes a Relaonship Breakdown. Breakdown. This Switch eecvely pushes the kill buon on an otherwise loving relaonship, resulng in an emoonal crisis response. This is why complete surprise can happen when the Relaonship Breakdown occurs. For many, it genuinely is a massive surprise. To the other party, it has been waing to happen over the longest me. Therein lays the power of being in two emoonally dierent dierent places with your lover. Many relaonships end without anyone realizing there is a cure.
CHAPTER 3: THE RELATIONSHIP DECAY
Take Jack and Lucy for example:
Jack and Lucy were married for several decades, when surprisingly, surprisingly, aged 70; they t hey decided to le for divorce and call the relaonship quits (Weisinger 2010). Most people would assume that having shared their life together or that aer reaching a milestone; they would automacally qualify for a lifeme achievement award, but not this couple. What is more surprising is that when asked, they both said they were happy.
So what went wrong? Over a series of meengs, Jack and Lucy each admied they recognized traits of their parents in the other (with whom neither had a posive relaonship) and were holding in feelings of resentment. As the other person didn’t necessarily do anything wrong, neither felt it signicant enough to address. Then, over the decades, Relaonship Decay set in and they divorced.
CHAPTER 3: THE RELATIONSHIP DECAY
Alternavely, take Mary and John:
Even more bizarre is Mary and John, who never consummated their marriage in 1934 (Weisinger (Weisinger 2010). Mary and John married as a maer of convenience, but never felt a sexual connecon, though had a strong bond of friendship. Mary and John never separated, and when asked how they could live in such a way replied that for them, it was eortless as they felt happy and were commied to each other ’s happiness.
This might sound crazy, crazy, but when you break the relaonship down to a subconscious level, you understand how dierent methods of communicaon interfere with a healthy relaonship. Of course, understanding communicaon is not only what you say and do around each other, other, but also how each partner thinks and feels. All of these are equally signicant, when looking to sustain a lifelong commitment.
CHAPTER 3: THE RELATIONSHIP DECAY
The Phases of Post-Relationship Decay Immediately aer the breakup, the full extent of the Relaonship Decay causes overwhelming emoons during the aermath of the Relaonship Breakdown. This is natural, but makes it very dicult to make worthwhile decisions. When your head and heart are focusing on two dierent goals, it is impossible to move forward. This is why you must allow a llow me to heal and take acve measures to move away from trauma. The crucial thing is that you recognize where you are in the relaonship cycle. Are you healthy and clear of mind? On the other hand, are you in the t he post-breakup post-breakup phase and sll emoonally unstable? The last thing you want to do is go through the Relaonship Rewind and realize she is not “ The One.” One.” When you understand where you are, then you can work out where to go next, so you reduce the risk of failure. For many, it genuinely is a massive surprise. To the other party, it has been waing to happen over the longest me. Therein lays the power of being in two emoonally dierent dierent places with your lover. Many relaonships end without anyone realizing there is a cure.
CHAPTER 3: THE RELATIONSHIP DECAY
Post-breakup: The me immediately aer when it hasn’t
sunk in that the relaonship has ended. This is when you begin to analyze potenal Relaonship Decay, and look for signs of what went wrong. Recovery: Aer the breakup, everything crashes into an
emoonal mess. You realize the relaonship is over, but begin to see the now obvious signs of Relaonship Decay. Decay. This is an extended period of resolve and recovery. recovery. Grieving: If recovery seems impossible, then you risk
entering into a grieving phase. This is where Death’s Door occurs. It is prompted by your desire to remedy the Relaonship Decay, Decay, and her inability to match you on that choice.
In these stages, you should stop contact immediately.
Even if, if, you have a good friendship, now is not the me to be involved. This can cause lasng damage to both of you. Any contact in the aermath of a Relaonship Breakdown will be perceived as chasing. The recovery stage is the one you want to embrace. Although it does take me and varies from man to man, but knowing that it can take weeks or months is a good place to start. I will let you know when to resume contact. This is important because: The more me you can spend understanding what Relaonship Decay occurred, the less risk you have of falling into the grieving process. During grieving, your body is not suited towards making
CHAPTER 3: THE RELATIONSHIP DECAY
informed decisions. It welcomes Deaths Door, Door, and makes the process of recovery much harder on you. If you are in the post-breakup, post-breakup, accept the me to heal and then move into the recovery posion. This is where you should be while reading.
Remember:
The Relaonship Rewind is not an instant cure.
You must allow your body and mind me to recover. Accept this space so you will be revitalized and ready to take acon when you move into the rst stage of Relaonship Rewind. Rewind. If you are in the grieving stage, this is going to take longer because you have to accept that you may be on Death’s Door or are about to land in that zone. You You will need to allow addional me and follow the steps that are about to be prescribed. Now is the me to begin beg in moving away from these stages when possible. We will look at how to do this working from Deaths Door to Bliss from Chapter 4.
How to Feel Better About Relationship Decay Start today by taking small sma ll steps to bring more sasfacon and joy into your life. Go out with your friends. If you are stuck in the mourning phase of the relaonship, this is even more crucial. I know it seems impossible, but life does exist without her. her. The faster you get on with it and start to enjoy it again, the faster your rewinding will become a natural progression of this transformave transformave me. me . Just as love sickness feels like a disease, the posive physical eects of love are just as a s intoxicang (but for fantasc fantasc reasons). Did you know most doctors prescribe light acvies, such as
CHAPTER 3: THE RELATIONSHIP DECAY
walking for a few minutes a day, as the rst “cure?” This is because doubts and anxiees (caused by breaking up with someone or being broken broken up with) can make you feel helpless. By taking acon, you not only prove your brain wrong, but you release endorphins, which are the “feel-good” hormones that are also present during a healthy relaonship (Grin 2013). The good news is you can regain those amazingly powerful hormonal and emoonal highs. You can trigger them in her also, so that when she wants you back, it is on a biological level. The steps that you will take are medicinal; meaning they help you heal and recover from the breakup. If that isn’t enough of a movang factor, factor, then consider that she won’t nd a lovesick man aracve. You You must begin re-building your sense of condence.
Remember:
Even if she took you back today,
Without acknowledging that reason and taking me to change your environment, all you stand to gain is an “on-o” relaonship. You You must x the causes of your problems, before you start a relaonship again. Take condence in the healing process you are going through now will help her heal too. Without acknowledging that reason and taking me to change your environment, all you stand to gain is an “on-o” relaonship. You You must x the causes of your problems, before you start a relaonship again. Take condence in the healing process you are going through now will help her heal too.
the relaonship sll ended for a reason.
CHAPTER 3: THE RELATIONSHIP DECAY
Why Relationship Decay Occurs When you feel happy, happy, your thoughts and acons prevent Relaonship Decay. Decay. This is because your subconscious mind sends out posive energy and engages in healthy acons to prolong your relaonship. If you are in Dri (Chapter 5) or Switch (Chapter 6), the symptoms of Relaonship Decay accelerate due to feelings of emoonal detachment. This is why you may suddenly nd yourself on Death’s Door (Chapter 4) and asking what happened. In fact, the researchers at the University of Rochester found that people, who feel like an acve parcipant in their relaonship, are more likely to stay together than couples who are equally happy, happy, but are unable to understand their negave interacons (Soonhee Lee 2010). Another way to think of this would be to look at how you drive. Driving is something most people do without much thought, yet there are several complex processes going on. Your Your feet and hands carry out two dierent dierent acons simultaneously, simultaneously, acvang the gas pedal and the steering wheel. whee l. Then, as you drive, you also will acvate the windshield wipers if it rains or turn the radio up when your favorite song comes on. Essenally, Essenally, you have a goal of geng to a desnaon, but how you arrive is determined by the smaller, smaller, less obvious tasks you take to ensure your drive is safe. Oen these are more inuenal than how fast you go. If you do not pay aenon to the other distracons, you will nd yourself
CHAPTER 3: THE RELATIONSHIP DECAY
quickly o the road and unable to move m ove forward. You You could also get lost if you are not paying aenon. On the other hand, you might even face collisions or anger other drivers. This also means the opportunity to get to your nal desnaon becomes impossible. While the steps in this book can help you manage your relaonship in a healthy and enjoyable way, they only work if you acknowledge the signs of Relaonship Decay.
You must learn to acknowledge the dierent ways you both communicate and how that relates to geng back together. together. Otherwise, it would be like stepping stepping into a car blindfolded. Sure, you might be able to work out how to go forward, but without paying aenon, you could quick derail the relaonship and end up back in the ditch. If you go into the relaonship thinking you know every curve, you will likely make a wrong judgment call that risks everything. This next technique will teach you how to sustain a long-term relaonship and help you prevent the problems that occurred the rst me around. a round.
CHAPTER 3: THE RELATIONSHIP DECAY
The Signs for Recognizing Relationship Decay If you have experienced and acknowledged a cknowledged Relaonship Decay, Decay, then you may consider yourself a seasoned expert. This is a fantasc skill to possess, and one that can be learned. The reason why I am sharing this informaon is so that you have a clear understanding of what it is and what you are experiencing. If you are a re unable to pinpoint Relaonship Decay, Decay, it is impossible rewind the relaonship as you won’t know what to look for. You need to know that Relaonship Decay is more than something that “just happens,” it is something that must be addressed in a specic way. There is every chance you will face Relaonship Decay again, no maer who you are dang, dang , so listen closely. She is less empathec. She does not relate to your point of
view or emoonal pains during arguments, or respond to your memories and experiences of Bliss. She shows less remorse. She is roboc in her decisions.
She may leave aer an argument and go somewhere else to ‘cool o,’ refusing to help you assist her. She ignores your existence. You no longer aect her
emoons. She is moving into part me or full me Indierence.
CHAPTER 3: THE RELATIONSHIP DECAY
While everyone requires dierent amounts of me to move past a relaonship, jumping into the Indieren I ndierentt phase typically takes a long me (prolonged by the intensity and duraon of your relaonship). While she may have mes when she asks for space, or takes it without asking, it does not mean mea n she is automacally Indierent to you. In fact, it could be a good sign that she is overwhelmed with emoon: the opposite of Indierence.
One thing you can count on though is that if you loved one another, another, this period of Indierence whether eeng or lasng (I will describe this more in the next secon) can take years to reach, if she ever will. This gives you plenty of me to win her heart back once more. Think T hink back to your rst love and you will quickly see what I mean. Most people, no maer how your rst relaonship ended, have the power to hold onto love for many years. It is important to know that you have the tools necessary to avoid falling into Relaonship Relaonship Decay or if you do, you can heal your relaonship. By being able to idenfy it, you remove 99.9% of the work involved, so you can disarm it before it sets in for good. Relaonship Decay is only powerful when you are ignorant about it. In many cases, men wrongly believe they are in Deaths Door, Door, when what they have experienced in the fall out of Relaonship Decay. For many, many, me will heal these wounds and allow you to naturally bridge the gap once more and in a lasng way. way. Most women never become Indierent, it goes against their desire to nurture and protect, so take faith in her love for you. It’ It ’s sll there, I am sure of it!
CHAPTER 3: THE RELATIONSHIP DECAY
Why You Must Stop Chasing Indifference If she has a conscious understanding understanding of Relaonship Decay, Decay, things do become trickier as she will now be acvely taking steps to maximize her space. She could be doing this to help you both move on, or she could be doing this to give herself me to decide if her Switch of heart was correct. Essenally this is a protecve phase where she tries trie s to move into Indierence, what she believes to be healing. This is why many people suggest space aer a breakup. Chasing her during this me can cause massive and irreversible problems. If you back a dog into a corner, corner, it bites. The same goes for her. her. If you chase c hase her too soon, she will feel threatened and “bite you”. you”. This is especially true during an intense argument, as our emoons and adrenaline are running high. While hurul, there is a good chance that her acons are not there to hurt you, no maer how badly they may. may. The fantasc news is that just because she is taking more severe acons to remove you from her life, does not mean she is Indierent. If she feels it is necessary to place a barrier between you both, she sll sll feels emoonal. If she has gone to great great lengths to remove you from her life then you must be a great threat for her. She knows that keeping you around will mean that she may cave in on her Relaonship resolve and decision to leave. By not chasing, you create space that she did not expect, forcing her to queson the decision to end the relaonship. When you
CHAPTER 3: THE RELATIONSHIP DECAY
chase, all you are doing is conrming her doubts and giving her reason to pull away. away. This is a wonderfully caring way to let her come to the conclusions on her own terms. When she realizes that you are a supporve partner, partner, she will also realize that her choice might have been harsh or rashly made. It’ It ’s logical to come back.
Remember:
She is in a healing place also. This me
However, However, as you may have already guessed, without following
will shape how
up on the space created with some form of communicaon,
she sees you,
you run the risk of turning that respected space into emoonal distance. Instead, you need to understand how to communicate with her without chasing her during this me. When you decide to reach out is just as powerful as how you reach out. I will be showing you how to do this t his in the next chapter. chapter. The key is rewarding her when she begins to chase you. This
will help you remain in control and she will seek out experiences that are more posive with you.
and for this to be posive, you must be supporve.
CHAPTER 3: THE RELATIONSHIP DECAY
Keynotes
• Underst Understanding anding the essence of Relaonship Relaonship Decay Decay eecvely eecvely reduces the chances of it occurring again, a gain, just as your awareness of a pothole helps you avoid it. • Whether you realize realize it or not, you are are sending signals to her that either aract her or repel her. her. This is why healing is necessary. • Taking me to heal from the Relaonship Breakdown will allow you to understand Relaonship Relaonship Decay personally and more accurately. • Underst Understanding anding which post-br post-breakup eakup stage stage you are in means you can take the correct steps to repair the damage. • Once you understand understand the red ags, you you can move move on condently knowing that you will not cause further Relaonship Decay.
4 Death’s Death’s Door
CHAPTER 4: DEATH’S DOOR
Aaron and Emma:
Aaron arrived back home late one night and surprised everyone with his visit. He had lost a few pounds and corporate corporate life looked like it was geng the best of him. Over the next few weeks, people began to talk about how he failed at his big move and gossip was circulang that his ancée had ran o with another man. ma n. It was hard to know for sure what was going on and Aaron seemed guarded at every turn. Over the next few weeks, it was becoming clear that Aaron did not intend to go back and he nally turned in an applicaon to a local law rm. He brushed o the quesons about the reasons behind his return. Even though he was back, it was as if his mind was somewhere else. He kept a close watch on his phone at all mes, as if it would suddenly answer his prayers, and anyme it rang he’d smile then go back to his usual, aloof self. Emma became a word that wasn’t used, and for weeks aer his arrival, Aaron tried to fool everyone into thinking she hadn’t existed. Small town gossip was just that, but it didn’t mean they were wrong. Instead of being an outgoing, condent man, Aaron turned down nights out and wasn’t interested
CHAPTER 4: DEATH’S DOOR
in meeng other women. He seemed see med to be pining for something that wasn’t there. To be connued….
What Is Death’s Door? Death’s Door The me aer a Relaonship Breakdown where she has taken signicant acon(s) to distance herself from you emoonally and physically.
Death’s Death’s Door is the point when your ex has taken signicant acon to become Indierent to you. Indierence is when she feels no posive or negave emoon or aachment. She may be feeling Indierent, or aempng to make this happen. Either E ither way, you are not on Deaths Door, as she does not intend to restart the relaonship. This can be a parcularly devastang me, and one that takes me to heal. Oen this occurs because she has received posive support in her decision to move on. These may m ay be from her friends or family, family, or a choice she makes on her own. Either way, way, there are now glaring moves driving a wedge between you. Most likely, likely, she concluded that you are not right for her and she has to move on to be happy. happy. This stage can take a big emoonal toll on you both. If you want to rewind your relaonship, ending this stage is necessary.
CHAPTER 4: DEATH’S DOOR
Another possibility is that something happened in your relaonship. The situaon connued to escalate, and she moved faster towards Indierence. Indierence. The likely scenario is that she Dried, and you kept chasing, unl she made a conscious eort to avoid you. She believes this will help her nd clarity and emoonal stability, stability, because she knows that having you around is emoonally dangerous (more on this in a moment). She may tell you that she needs space, or she may just take it without asking (as oen happens). It is also benecial to note: The purpose of becoming Indierent is a coping mechanism and is the only true Relaonship Killer. Killer. Relaonships are
durable. They can survive Relaonship Decay, Decay, and prolonged exposure to stressors, but Indierence Indierence is not easily xed. The Indierent person person no longer has the level of desire needed to connue the relaonship and eecvely stops any progress in its tracks (Bowers 2013).
CHAPTER 4: DEATH’S DOOR
Moving Away From Death’s Door If you are at Deaths Door and made an earnest eort to chase her in the hopes of winning her aecon, it is common to see this backre. She or her friends might comment that this behavior is “stalker-like” or that you are acng “creepy,” and need to step back. For once, listen to her friends and take their advice. These are all red ags that are leng you know that your acons are too forceful. Again, you both need me to let your emoons sele, before making the right move. Just waing for me to go by is not going to x your behaviors though. You You need to show her that you have moved on. When you are in the Deaths Door stage, you have some work to do to get the relaonship back on track. Otherwise, all she is going to do is use this lack of progress as ammo against you and connue to jusfy her need for space. This can be a confusing me to balance, but one that I will show you how to judge based on her acons. These warning ags will also show you when not to bring up how you feel about her. her. Now is not the me for grand gestures, those don’t actually work in real life. It is also important to consider: Just as, dierent people take dierent me to recover; you will each be in dierent phases of the post-breakup process (think back to the two Relaonship Breakdown Breakdown factors). In order to
CHAPTER 4: DEATH’S DOOR
reverse this situaon, you will have to give her tons of room to breathe. You You have to wait for her to come around to her own posively charged Relaonship Resolve. This will give you the opportunity to draw her closer to you. Although you are not geng responses does not mean you are at Death’s Door or that she has given up. She’s asking for space because she knows on some level that you each need it. You might remember that we spoke about the importance of not chasing. Well, this is the rst of several techniques that teach you how to approach without pushing her away a way.. In fact, she will become so responsive that she will begin to chase you. Once you have iniated the recommended space, you can begin to engage in what I call the False Friendship (this technique will help you move back to the same emoonal page, but only aer, aer, she has found her Mind Calm). It will also help prevent her from becoming Indierent. Indierent. This is the rst stage where you will be engaging with her again, so make it count. Do not rush on ahead believing it i t to be an instant cure. Let her adapt rst!
CHAPTER 4: DEATH’S DOOR
Introducing the False Friendship Friendship The False Friendship is the most valuable advice I am a m going to oer. oer. It will become the backbone to your Relaonship Rewind. For now, now, it does not maer which of the phases you are a re in, as establishing a solid friendship is what maers most. How you get to a state of False Friendship will vary with the stages (all require dierent lengths of healing me before acng this technique out), but none are impossible to recover from, and I’m about to show you why. This is also one of the strangest techniques, but it works every me.
Note:
Now is not the me to jump in
If you have broken up, or even if you are not on speaking terms,
without taking
the False Friendship is the best way to earn her trust back. I t
the necessary
gives you an ‘in’ where you didn’t think possible. Establishing a
healing me rst. Learning
False Friendship also means you can talk easily and that she will
this technique
not go running in the other direcon when she sees your name
will prepare you
on her phone’s phone’s screen. It is all about building up the lines of
for when the
communicaon again and making her feel secure. You have not entered the dang arena. Your False Friendship is going to let you get back into her mind, where you can beg in to plant the Bliss Bombs and other techniques that I will teach you as me moves forward. I know it sounds cunning, but this technique works because she will feel comfortable and relaxed around you. In order for those milestones to be reached, you must be willing to go step-by-step step-by-step and not rush. Next, you must go into this technique knowing it is not the me to romance. I repeat this is not the me to indicate romance!
me is right.
CHAPTER 4: DEATH’S DOOR
Only once she feels comfortable with your False Friendship will she start to ask you out and begin to iniate Bonding Moments with you. Otherwise, this is a strictly ‘No Fly’ zone. During this technique, you will be waing on her to reach out and a sk for more; that must always be your queue of when to advance (especially when considering romanc intent). This is where you will be rewarding her with the next applicaon to encourage her to move closer to you. Later on, I will show you how to reward this behavior, so you can ip the False Friendship because she wants to get back together. together. This means she won’t feel regret and won’t be tempted to back out of your relaonship. As she is the one chasing, you can encourage her, her, instead of her rejecng you.
Critical Knowledge: The False Friendship Failure Rate The False Friendship will not work if you try to iniate contact because you want to have sex with her. her. The risk of failure is almost guaranteed if you go in with an agenda! This is why we placed importance on leng her tell you when she is ready for you to escalate the next level. What you are about to do requires you to be compelling, without a trace of hesitaon. If she thinks that you are geng back in touch with her, her, just to get her back into your bed, she’s she’s going to run out the nearest ‘Relaonship Exit.’ Moreover, you can believe she won’t so much as a look back in the other direcon.
CHAPTER 4: DEATH’S DOOR
If you violate her trust, she will throw barriers up so high that even an Olympic athlete couldn’t jump over the top. She will always be cauous around you, should she choose to keep you around, and will queson every move you make. You You will become the ex she talks about to friends and family, family, and ruin your chances. Then, even if she feels compelled to take you back, it becomes more dicult to convince those around her. her. Another major problem with starng a False Friendship with an agenda is that she could make you look like the fool. She may string you along, set you up, or just at out reject you. If this happens, your chances of iniang a False Friendship become a cool 0%. As sad as it is to say, say, many women will feel insecure aer a Relaonship Breakdown also, and may come to depend on the aecon as a coping mechanism. Essenally, you will plant yourself in the Friend Zone voluntarily, not the False Friendship, and the chance of recovery is minimal. So please, put anything sexual to the back of your mind. This is only for the short-term. If you trust me, and are willing to let me heal, you can build a False Friendship. This technique will reestablish the emoonal bond, so her feelings of love for you unconsciously surface. When she takes you back, it will be because that is what you both want. A rewarding and engaging experience bonds you together.
CHAPTER 4: DEATH’S DOOR
What the False Friendship Friendship is Not: The Friend Zone Let’s be honest, no guy wants to be friends with a girl they are aracted to. Nevertheless here’s the thing about the False Friendship, it is not the Friend Zone. It is not a permanent xture. It is somewhere you can express your desires and potenally receive them back. The dierence is all in how you approach the False Friendship. When you follow my direcons, you will reward her for coming back to you, which will remove the risk of it backring. This is why: When you iniate the False Friendship, she does not see your requests for communicaon as chasing. You You have given her the necessary me to feel independent. She does not suspect that
Note:
you have an agenda, as me has healed her emoonal mind,
If she is not
and is far more recepve to the act of friendship. Time has
raonal,
allowed her to become raonal, thoughul, and more compelled to be communicave with you once more.
thoughul, and more compelled to be communicave with you
Start to recognize that the False Friendship is a great place to be. When you are dang, being stuck in the Friend Zone can be one of the worst things to happen. You You are discarded into the “let’ “let ’s
once more then you have acted too soon. Simply pull back, and
just be friends” zone. This is a unique blessing in this case, I am
allow her me to
about to reveal why. When you iniate the False Friendship, you
heal. Then reach
will start what she believes to be a Friend Zone. You use that ‘No Fly’ card to your advantage. This is an incredible relief to her as she is sll hoping to gain independence. By fullling her request, you gain her trust. Then,
out again unl she is compelled to communicate.
CHAPTER 4: DEATH’S DOOR
she is much more likely to comply with your requests to hang out or talk more oen. Even if, if, she has no desire to talk with you today, she will feel compelled by this simple acon one day. All you have to do is move forward and be genuine in your moves about establishing a friendship. She does not need to know that this will blossom into romance yet. Think back to how things rst began, you were just friends hanging out. She had no idea it would become more.
Initiating the False Friendship During Deaths Door The easiest way is to let this happen naturally. naturally. This is also specic advice for approaching a False Friendship from the perspecve of being rejected. If you are sll in the Relaonship Breakdown phase, then you can use this technique to your advantage. If she says that she wants to stay friends, as many women will oen say, say, tell her you think that is an excellent idea, but let her know that friendship is where you draw the line. She is going to think that you have given up with the chase and a nd will be happy. happy. Give her me to accept this. We will be coming back full circle to the advanced part of this technique in Chapter 5. This is where you pick up the piece s and carry onwards to Bliss. When you are a re at Death’s Door, Door, extending a grant of friendship lets her know that you only want civility. For the most part, you
CHAPTER 4: DEATH’S DOOR
will not be making contact with her during this specic process, because it is considered chasing (which pushes her away). She hasn’t reached a level of space where she feels comfortable (or possibly even moved away from Indierence). You You are only going to approach the suggeson of being friends, not best friends. Wait for her to reach out and then drop the False Friendship on her. This is important, as you oering without her suggeson will push her away.
It could be as simple as saying, “I’m really glad we can stay friends.” friends.” She will likely agree to this, but here is the tricky part. Leave it at that. This conversaon should not go any further. When establishing the False Friendship during the False Friendship, you want to plant the idea and walk away. away. Like seeds, it takes me to grow and develop into something valuable. If she starts to call frequently, be sure to keep things light and breezy, and use dierent terms of endearment e ndearment that focus on friendship. You will be taking note of how oen she contacts you and for what reasons to determine her level of friendship and openness. Again, at this stage, you are not insgang a best friend status, merely friends.
If she is calling for specic reasons, such as dissolving assets, give her further me. Simply allow her space, and plug back into this rst stage of the False Friendship and try again.
CHAPTER 4: DEATH’S DOOR
If She Is Recepve Recepve Always Use Posive, Friendly Reinforcements Reinforcements Such As: Thanks man, that’ that ’s awesome! No problem, that’s what friends do! I think it’ it ’s great we can sll be friends. You’ve always been a fantasc friend. Isn’t it refreshing we can just be friends? f riends?
Obviously, Obviously, you will want to change these into something you are comfortable saying and that you already use around your other friends.
Tip:
You want to ensure that the
If you come across condescending or sarcasc, you will make her
False Friendship
do an emoonal U-turn. Just keep it natural, when she reaches
abides by
out to you, reward her by leng her know that you respect and value her space. It will not be long before she feels more
genuine friendship rules and that you
condent, knowing that you are a fantasc, supporve friend.
do not use this
When you are at Deaths Door, Door, you need to apply addional
stage to get back
paence during this me (possibly even read up on the EFLL technique in Chapter 7). Only then can you trigger the next technique, which I will show you when the me is right. In I n the meanme, start forging an easygoing False Friendship. You You will need nee d this later!
at her.
CHAPTER 4: DEATH’S DOOR
Keynotes
• Death’ Death’ss Door is a me that feels feels impossible to reverse, reverse, but is simply a symptom of a severe Relaonship Breakdown. Breakdown. • It is possible to move away from Death’s Door Door,, no maer how dire the situaon, so long as you understand that how you approach this phase is crical. • You cannot change change how she feels about you without rst iniang a False Friendship. • This is not a Friend Zone, Zone, but an opportunity to open the lines of communicaon. • The False Friendship is only eecve when you use use this technique without taking romanc steps to geng her back. • Moving into into the False False Friendship with an agenda will place you in Death’s Door for an extended period, if not forever, because she loses all trust and respect for you.
5 The Magic Letter
THE MAGIC LETTER
WARNING You are likely to evoke unexpected and turbulent emoons with the Magic Leer, but you will be learning how to leverage her frustraons and turn them into fantasc Bliss by ulizing this techniques with the other techniques in this book. Only use this technique if you have correctly determined she is Indierent or on the verge of total emoonal detachment from you and the relaonship (and that you are prepared to reward her emoonal journey with Bliss). If she is currently going through an emoonally turbulent stage, then move onto establishing a posively charged False Friendship instead. This will give you a beer advantage to achieve the best results, because she is not yet at the Indierent stage, which is where she needs to be for the Magic Magic Leer to to work its magic.
THE MAGIC LETTER
What is the Magic Letter? The Magic Leer: The Magic Leer is a unique technique that I created, which is incredibly eecve at turning even the most stone cold ex into Bliss potenal. It works by reacvang the deep emoons that have been buried so that you can discover the full Relaonship Rewind potenal.
The Magic Leer, Leer, as you may suspect, is an actual a ctual leer you will be sending to her. her. The content of this leer will need to be customized to your exact situaon, but if done correctly it will become a powerful tool in your mission of love and something that she will be unable to ignore.. It is possible to send this Magic Leer in email format, but sending a wrien leer is much more eecve and yields the greatest results. By taking the me to put actual pen to paper you will be demonstrang that you are commied to making an eort for the relaonship. As this technique is only to be used when she is truly Indierent, we will essenally be approaching from a unique standpoint: As menoned previously, previously, the purpose of the Magic Ma gic Leer is to awaken those deep emoons within her, which will make you praccally irresisble to her. her. It might sound strange, but if she is upset during this phase and the chances c hances are she will be emoonally unstable, this can actually work to your advantage. Unbelievably, Unbelievably, this shows that she sll has feelings for you..
THE MAGIC LETTER
In fact, the more upset and emoonal she is the beer your chances of taking the relaonship back to pure Bliss! You can view her emoonal state as a posive because you will have more to leverage and work on as you take steps to turn the whole thing around and back into true Bliss. This powerful tool will help to unlock those deep emoons, which she has been denying, and once that is accomplished, the other steps become relavely easy. By triggering these emoons once more, she will automacally stop being Indierent to you. Once the barrier of indierence is broken down, everything will begin to fall into place nicely. nicely. Then you can begin the happy journey with your loved one that you so yearn yearn for. for.
Initiating the Magic Letter During Indifference I found that couples who used this technique were able to open a communicaon portal that was previously closed o to them during the Indierence phase. Even ex partners who had shown signicant signs of Indierence miraculously turned on their emoonal response when presented with a Magic Leer. Leer. In fact, they did the unthinkable. unthinkable. Instead of connuing to resist and push their ex further away, away, the woman will suddenly have an overwhelming desire to reach out and contact their ex. This is where the ‘Magic’ of this t his technique comes in. You now have an opportunity to make her want to reach out to you even in the most unlikely of situaons.
THE MAGIC LETTER
Chances are she will want to contact you almost immediately aer reading the leer. When we feel real emoon, we oen do not think about consequences. As Indierence is a me where she is feeling detached from her emoons, or where she is acve in trying to removing them from her life, you can jump in and get maximum leverage of this crical crical me. It can be seen as a ‘window of opportunity, opportunity,’ and is a me when she can become so overcome with emoon that she cannot help but act on her most primal needs. She will probably not understand why she feels so compelled to get in touch with you, but she will feel it. The Magic Leer also serves ser ves several other disnct purposes. Each is just as important and is an essenal ingredient for geng her to love you like never before. Achieving these three goals will blast her out of the indierence phase and well on her way to Bliss: Firstly,, the Magic Leer allows you an opportunity to close Firstly the playing eld without pushing her away or chasing. Secondly,, it allows Secondly all ows you to gain peace of mind as you have an opportunity to say how you feel. Thirdly,, it is a powerful way to unlock her pent up feelings Thirdly for you, which is our ulmate goal.
It is important to bear these things t hings in mind before pung pen to paper!
THE MAGIC LETTER
An Example of the Magic Letter in Action
Baby, before I share my thoughts with you, I just want to make one thing clear. clear. I did love you for you. I was immature and stupid, and yes, we both made our share of mistakes in the relaonship, but never for a second was I not willing to work things out with you. The real you won me over, from your “don’t do it,” to that chromac scale laugh, to your cute lile nose twitch, is that I loved your uniqueness, your musical talent, you sparking me back into music. I loved how genuinely loving and empathec you were with everyone, especially your family. family. You saw the issues I had with my family, and even though we have been working to x things, the reality is we sll don’t talk to each other. You have such a close bond with your parents and sisters. I have always loved you for that ability to love endlessly. You were the most beauful woman in the world to me. I would have sung that to you every day, day, and never goen sick of it. I would have given you the world. I was in love with the person you seemed to be... However, what I have realized over the past couple days is that I might have been wrong about who you truly were.
THE MAGIC LETTER
You stopped responding to text messages, phone calls, and emails. Don’t you think I deserved to know what was going on? You You know I am a sensive se nsive guy and you knew I was concerned about your state, and did you think it was fair for me to constantly worry and think about you to the point I couldn’t even focus on my own life? The thing that really pissed me o is that when you were here in New York for your audion, and you never even bothered to let me know! It’ It ’s as if I don’t even exist to you anymore. Now you’re asking to be my friend? Boom line, whether we were in a relaonship or not, friends just don’t do that to each other. other. How can I trust that as friends, the same thing won’t happen again in the future? Part of me wants to forget about our silly mistakes and hold you, comfort you, support you. To To be the one who believes in you and pushes you to greatness. I want to be the one who wipes away your tears every me you cry, but I don’t think I can do it. I just don’t think I can now... now... We only have so much me in this world. Only so many people we can let into our lives. If I am going to have someone in my life that I call a friend, there is a minimum level of respect I need from that person. Moreover, Moreover, considering all that we have been
THE MAGIC LETTER
through, the girl who i thought I knew, knew, who I thought I loved, I thought you would have given me that. Goodbye and good luck, my Love.
In this next secon, I will uncover why this Magic Leer is so eecve, and where you can customize specic areas to suit your relaonship.
The Magic Letter Breakdown Below is a breakdown of why the Magic Leer is so eecve. You might even be feeling some of those eects right now, even though this leer was not wrien for you. This is because there are subliminal triggers doed in and around this text that aunes your emoonal frequency to noce emoonal points that naturally raise your interest. In her, her, these things will make her see through the Indierence, and begin to feel those feelings of love for you take over once again. Here is the ‘Magic’ you have been waing for:
Baby, before I share my thoughts with you, I just want to make one thing clear. I did love you for you. I was immature and stupid, and yes, we both made our share of mistakes in the relaonship, but never for a second was I not willing to work things out with you.
THE MAGIC LETTER
This is a fantasc place to start your relaonship talk. You want to deect the blame for the breakup away away from you, and show her that you honestly did love her. This is essenal, as right now, there is a lot of negavity surrounding surrounding you and the relaonship in her mind. However, However, at the same me, you should also admit to your mistakes mistakes so that she doesn’t become combave and use them against you to cement ce ment her Indierence in staying away from you.
The real you won me over, from your “don’t do it,” to that chromac scale laugh, to your cute lile nose twitch, is that I loved your uniqueness, your musical talent, you sparking me back into music. I loved how genuinely loving and empathec you were with everyone, especially your family. You saw the issues I had with my family, and even though we have been working to x things, the reality is we sll don’t talk to each other. You have such a close bond with your parents and sisters. I have always loved you for that ability to love endlessly. You were the most beauful woman in the world to me. I would have sung that to you every day, and never goen sick of it. I would have given you the world. I was in love with the person you seemed to be...
Next, you want to bring her back to Bliss, and then reinforce that Bliss.
THE MAGIC LETTER
This is a crical step, as you want her to see the posives in your relaonship. This is something she is trying to avoid, so sliding it in aer the introducon means she is more compelled to keep reading and absorb the subliminal Bliss. Remind her that it was good to be together and that you sll see all a ll of those wonderful things in her. You want to show her what being with you, and feeling Bliss can be like one again.
Remember:
This is a Magic Leer, not a Love Leer. How you feel and the objecveness you approach her with are worlds apart. Now is the me to listen, and take notes. Next, you are going to pull back and show a more realisc view of how the relaonship now is to contrast a loss of Bliss.
However, what I have realized over the past couple days is that I might have been wrong about who you truly were. You stopped responding to text messages, phone calls, and emails. Don’t you think I deserved to know what was going on? You know I am a sensive guy and you knew I was concerned about your state, and did you think it was fair for me to constantly worry and think about you to the point I couldn’t even focus on my own life?
She will not like it when you show her that you view her in a bad light. Let her realize that her acons are a re drascally changing your view of her from good to bad. This is what will make her want to return to Bliss, as she will want to challenge how you see her. As of now, she is only looking at how she feels about
THE MAGIC LETTER
you. There is a high chance that t hat she has overlooked how you see her, her, and as men, it is only natural that our egos are easily bruised. She will want to protect your percepon of her. her. The urge to clear her name will be incredibly strong. This is why she will feel compelled to reach out to you to ‘clear her name.’ Next, amplify the takeaway. takeaway.
The thing that truly pissed me o is that when you were here in New York for your audion, and you never even bothered to let me know! It’s as if I don’t even exist to you anymore. Now you’re asking to be my friend? Boom line, whether we were in a relaonship or not, friends just don’t do that to each other other.. How can I trust trust that as friends, the same thing won’t happen again in the future?
Show her you won’t even be her friend anymore. Let her understand her acons have not only hurt the relaonship, but the potenal friendship. This will put up a red ag in her mind that forces her to reevaluate her Indierence. Oen, we make rash decisions without actually believing them. Also, as she has likely been the one to determine the acons, your commitment to Indierence will throw her o-guard.
THE MAGIC LETTER
Now she is the one who is made to queson and feel she has no choice but to open the potenal for Bliss back up in her mind.
Part of me wants to forget about our silly mistakes and hold you, comfort you, support you. To be the one who believes in you and pushes you to greatness. I want to be the one who wipes away your tears every me you cry, but I don’t think I can do it. I just don’t think I can now...
Give her one last reminder of Bliss and the promise of future pleasure before the nal takeaway to reinforce those pleasurable feelings. The Relaonship Rewind is always a lways about rewarding her with Bliss. You You do not want her to come back with all negavity, negavity, but to use those as a reason to reach out and a nd make amends with you. Balance it with the good and the bad. Your leer should also be an emoonal rollercoaster rollercoaster and show that your anger comes from passion, giving her hope of reconciliaon.
We only have so much me in this world. Only so many people we can can let into into our lives. If I am going to have someone in my life that I call a friend, there is a minimum level of respect I need from that person. Moreover, considering all that we have been through, the girl who i thought I knew, who I thought I loved, I thought you would have given me that.
THE MAGIC LETTER
Your reason for ‘disappearing’ should show a high moral character. This shows that you are unquesonably going to disconnect from your ex. This is the most prominent part of the Magic Mag ic Leer. You need to show your willingness to walk away. It lets your partner see that this could be it. By bringing her character into queson, saying the person you thought they were would not behave this way, way, she will ght to show that she is isn’t the awful person she has become.
Goodbye and good luck, my Love.
Goodbye and good luck shows you mean it and reinforces reinforces the desire for her to connect. You undoubtedly are leaving. However, However, the ‘my Love’ gives her hope for a second chance.
Why the Magic Letter Is So Effective The Magic Leer is eecve because it does what Indierence cannot. It makes her feel. When she is stricken with emoon, she feels incredible diversity in how she will choose to respond, but the unifying benet is that she feels compelled to reach out. Whether she wants to call
THE MAGIC LETTER
and be upset or angry with you, or try to regain control over the situaon and create her own dominance over the Relaonship Breakdown, Breakdown, these are a re all posive markers that you are no longer in Indierence, but are now in Deaths Door. Remember:
Once you have sent the t he Magic Leer, she will reach out.
Always reward her reaching out with bringing her
This happens extremely quickly, almost immediately in many
back around to
cases due to the strong emoonal triggers you have planted.
Bliss.
This means you must connue with this book before iniang the Magic Leer technique so that you are fully prepared for what will happen next and can respond producvely. You will now have the opon to create a False Friendship, and the ability to move away from Death’s Door. I will be teaching you these stages next, so sck around! a round! In the meanme, now is a terric me to go back and read Chapter 4, so that you can begin to establish e stablish a beer understanding of Death’s Door. This will help you enormously!
THE MAGIC LETTER
Keynotes
• Only use the Magic Leer when you are absolutely absolutely sure she is Indierent. She may act detached, but it is highly unlikely she is truly Indierent to someone she has loved. • Customiz Customize e your leer leer and send a wrien version version to gain the most inuence. You You want to show her how much you can love her, using personal memories. • Always respond to her reaching out out by reinforcing reinforcing her Bliss. Bliss. This is crical, as while there are some painful memories, you want her to see you in a good light. • In addion, you want her to feel feel compelled for for you to to see her in a good light. Go back and read the Magic Leer Breakdown Breakdo wn unl you are condent you can accomplish this. • While you may be provoking other emoons, you should should always do so in a genuinely Blissful fashion. Always Always fall back on Bliss and enforce that feeling in her. • WARNING: Do not use the Magic Leer as a way to release
your own emoons, or for personal gain. That ’s just bad juju.
6 Drift
CHAPTER 5: DRIFT
Aaron and Emma: A few months passed and Aaron was nally geng back into the spirit of things, even taking up oers for a few night outs. He was always somewhat aloof, aloof, although slowly but surely, surely, what had happened nally came out as he opened up… He and Emma had been ghng more oen. She had wanted to move closer to home, and was looking to sele down and start a family. Aaron was convinced if he took a promoon, he would be able to provide for them beer, beer, even though this meant being an extra two hours away; something Emma Emm a couldn’t see past. This had caused them to dri apart emoonally. emoonally. He even laughed when he asked if she had run o with another man. Emma said she was just as miserable as he was. They kept in touch for a while aer the breakup, but things never fell back into place. They had agreed to give it some me, and that maybe Aaron could focus on his job for a while. They thought that if they could move forward, they would reconnect and get back together. together. When his promoon fell through though, and jobs began to be slashed, Aaron felt trapped at work and decided having a bad job was beer than no job.
CHAPTER 5: DRIFT
Somewhere along the way, way, without Emma there roong for him, things never got beer. beer. In fact, they t hey just fell further apart. To be connued….
What Is Drift? Dri The me where she is becoming Indierent. She is less interested in seeing you or communicang her needs with you.
As the Relaonship Breakdown occurs, or as the False Friendship is established, you might nd she begins to move in a dierent emoonal direcon. This could be towards you, which is her returning to Bliss and is a posive acon. When this direcon is away from you, she is Driing and pushing emoonal distance between you both. During a relaonship, this might be the me when she spends excessively with friends, or perusing her career. If you are unable to resolve her Dri, it will almost certainly land you on Deaths Door.
CHAPTER 5: DRIFT
This is because: When she is in this phase, she takes acon based on a negave feeling; her forceful Dri is the acve symptom of Relaonship Decay. Decay. In almost every case, this negave emoon is founded on the idea that she can provide her own Bliss. This is where the power of Relaonship decay reveals itself, itself, as it becomes a facilitator for her decision to move away. away. She juses her acons and is beginning to take measures to become Indierent. We as people are perpetually changing. It can be a magnicent or mundane accomplishment, which brings about drasc changes in our perspecve and our life. These changes can show up in small ways, like like listening to a new type of music or wearing a new style of clothes. Other Othe r mes, changes are evident in larger ways, such as making a radical career move. In the relaonship is can signal dierent goals or accomplishments. Nevertheless, changes are unpredictable. When two people make a commitment, they venture into the unknown. Each is seeking a companion; someone who will support and encourage the changes they make. The problem with this method is that deciding to support something you know nothing about can lead to disaster. disaster. If you do not know what you are supporng, you cannot truly say if it is something you agree with. Similarly, Similarly, as you move down your path of life, she will face her own trials and will be looking for your support.
CHAPTER 5: DRIFT
If you move in an undesirable direcon, this can lead to a breakup. While these are severe examples of how a relaonship can fall apart, even small adjustments that do not align, can build animosity over me and drive a wedge between you and the woman you love. If she wants to do one thing, t hing, and you another, another, the animosity is what takes that wedge and forces it into a Dri; where meeng in the middle becomes dicult or impossible. What is even more perplexing about this me is that when two people begin to Dri, it is not immediately imme diately an indicaon of negave change. Both people could be making signicant steps towards their life’s goals. However, if neither nds sasfacon, and relies on independence for fulllment. It can lead to the destrucon of the relaonship. This is why some couples happily separate and are able to move forward easily. easily. The Dri was not detrimental to their Bliss, and they were able to capitalize on their own interests; it was a mutual decision. Deaths Door, however, is far from mutual. The dierence between Dri and Deaths Door is that her decision de cision to Dri is temporary. temporary. She ebbs e bbs and ows, and is unsure.
CHAPTER 5: DRIFT
How She Will Approach the Final Stages of Drift D rift In order to make the Dri more ocial in her mind, she may say things are not working out, or suggest she is not happy in the relaonship. These vocalizaons may start as minor irritaons but become more frequent as the intensity of the Dri expands. This is why couples say they began ghng more frequently; they were vocalizing their dissasfacon. She may or may not actually describe the relaonship, but will seek to show you she is unhappy. If these red ags are a re not listened to, she will eventually push Deaths Door. She might even ask to be ‘just friends,’ friends,’ which puts Deaths Door into moon. This is the easiest way of breaking up without feeling as if you are hurng the other person. Then, you can remain in contact and sll enjoy each other ’s company, company, but in a restricted capacity. capacity. You may or may not talk about the reasons for the Dri at this me, and if she is unable to share, can add further frustraon. frustraon. The second problem is, deep down you want it to be more than that. You are experiencing the rst signs of Deaths Door, Door, where she wants to want away and you want to stay. She may be genuine in her reasons for saying she wants to repair the relaonship, but she could also feel that leng you down is her only chance of moving on, so she does this gently to help ease her mind. While this can be dicult and painful, understand that her mind is all over the place. Anything she says
CHAPTER 5: DRIFT
during this me is coming from hurt emoons, not the t he woman you love. She does not have a genuine desire to hurt or conceal the truth from you. This is crical to understand. understand. You need to be willing to be “just a friend” and nothing more for this to work if she has broken up with you. This will keep her from being Indierent to you. Establishing a False Friendship makes using communicaon much easier. The key to reversing a Dri, or by now the early e arly phases of Deaths Door is to reach out as a friend and nothing more; otherwise, she will sll be Indierent to you (follow the steps in Chapter 4).
How Drift Can Lead to Indifference When she is in Dri, she is moving closer to Indierence. This typically happens before the Relaonship Breakdown, Breakdown, and can connue for some me aer. When she is Indierent, Indierent, it is much easier to walk away. away. This is why she no longer has an opinion about the Relaonship Breakdown, and this can somemes feel like Death’s Door. Unl she takes an acon to disnguish this thought from an idea into reality, reality, you are sll in Dri. The main dierence with this stage is that she does not care if you are a re together or not. She feels no emoonal aachment to you. This is a dicult and almost impossible place to move on from, because she has no em oons towards you.
CHAPTER 5: DRIFT
This is why Deaths Door feels inevitable, and for many becomes a self-fullling prophecy. The Symptoms Symptoms of Indierence: She has no genuine emoon; meaning she is not happy or
sad, or even angry or bier. Indierence can easily be confused with Death’s Door,
because her feelings will seem impossible change. Unl she takes disnct acon to stay away, it is Dri. Unlike Death’s Door, Dri is more easily remedied with a False Friendship. This pulls her back into line with the
expectaons of the relaonship. Indierence can be healed with False Friendship, but oen
the results are not as long lasng or eecve, because there is no love to leverage.
When she is truly Indierent, almost all means of communicaon will be useless, especially if you are trying to reignite your relaonship. However, However, if you can establish a False Friendship, then all the t he means of communicaon open up to you. Showing that you care about the friendship, not a relaonship is the best way to make that happen. The dierence is that the False Friendship takes far longer to emerge. Simply go back to the t he steps in chapter 4, and review the secon on how to kick-start a False Friendship from grassroots.
CHAPTER 5: DRIFT
The key is to demonstrate how comfortable you are just being friends, while subtly making her second guess her decision to Dri. By creang a False Friendship, you allow your partner to grow out of Indierence and realize what she is missing. Most women in Dri respond well to the False Friendship, and as very few are actually Indierent, this is your best course of acon to pulling her back to you.
Avoiding a Negative Bonding Experience All aspects of a Relaonship Breakdown have have Indierence, it is not impossible to avoid. It is only extremely damaging when it is a permanent atude or phase. What you can do is establish a relaonship that bonds her to you in a posive way. This will help overcome that Indierence with passion. When she feels like pulling away, she should want to make those choices with you. Bonding will make her feel Blissful and less likely to Dri, so learning this step is crical. It will also help you prevent the Dri from occurring again. When she feels happy, she feels closer to you. While you might know all the things that make her happy, consider how you act when you are a re going through a Negave Bonding Experience. A Negave Bonding Experience happens when, instead of Bliss, she feels other emoons that are detrimental to the relaonship. These may spark her decision to Dri. This can range from feeling angry or upset, to feeling as if she is
CHAPTER 5: DRIFT
not valuable to you, or that she is not appreciated (The Negave Bonding Paern 2009). These are damaging to her and the relaonship. The longer and more intense these feelings, the more likely and more extreme the chance of Dri will be. Instead of learning that you are a terric guy, guy, she only wants to repel you and feels jused in her acons. When you start to inspire Bliss, look for ways to encourage fond the memories when you were together. together. These are more than just ways to make her happy in the moment, but are ways to change how she feels about you, forever. This is like the big event that happens in a lm, where the guy makes every eort to impress a girl, and she decides immediately that this is the guy for her. This is going to be a solid show of aecon that bonds her to you for life. Now, Now, you probably don’t have a Hollywood budget, but you do not need one to be successful. This step works best when you trigger her senmental emoons. Again, approach this from a strictly platonic level. Intertwine her memories and experiences of your relaonship, with her emoons. Adding these together is incredibly powerful and hearing a song or seeing a photograph can inspire all kinds of emoonal changes in her. her. A great way to do this, is once you have a solid False Friendship, is to use those communicaon channels to send her reminders of your me together. together. The trick to making this technique work is to be causal and friendly. friendly. Do you have photographs of a me when you were both happy?
CHAPTER 5: DRIFT
You might decide to email these to her, her, with a short note saying something causal like, “Just “Just thought you might like a copy of these for old mes’ sake.” sake.” It shows that you are not rubbing the t he relaonship in her face, but rather valuing her parcipaon in the relaonship. This way, way, you trigger the posive memories in her mind, without forcing the elephant into existence. It comes across as a natural symptom of the Relaonship Breakdown, Breakdown, without that eect. You want to make her think t hink of the relaonship is a posive light, but without actually saying something that could be taken as, “Hey! Look what you’re missing out on.” The eects will be the same, but in a much more classy and responsive way.
Always Approach with a Positive Bonding Experience Essenally, Essenally, when you remind her of things you have done together, you are planng a Bliss Bomb. This is a powerful Bonding Mechanism. This transports her back to a moment when your relaonship was happy. happy. She experiences all those incredible emoons and feelings again, which are leveraged from the power of senmental value. She even thinks it was beer than it was, as her body is ooding with hormones making her feel incredible. She won’t know why that is, but something in her mind will tell her to stop and think about those posive memories.
CHAPTER 5: DRIFT
Use the list of good memories that you shared in Chapter 2 and connue to update it. This will give you more experiences and memories to reference. As you know what she is most recepve to, and what she is most looking for from your relaonship, you can feed her dierent lines of communicaon that oer those qualies. It will showcase you as a great guy who is thoughul. Then, a s you keep planng these seeds of Bliss, she will feel compelled to be more responsive to you. Over me, she will feel as she did back when you rst got together. Suddenly, it will not maer why you broke up, it will only maer how she feels now, now, which will lead to her to think t hink about geng back together with you. This is because: A disnguishing trait of humans is that we crave connecon. When you give her all those wondrous Blissful Blissful moments, she will feel connected to you. She will want to bond with you in ways as more than just friends. It is natural for her to want to feel desire and aracon. Her memories will bond her to you as she remembers how amazing you make her feel all the me, so think about what makes her happy. Then make a causal move in her direcon using the False Friendship!
CHAPTER 5: DRIFT
Keynotes
• Dri is a me when she is deciding if you you are right for for her. her. She may take steps to distance herself from the relaonship, becoming more Indieren Indierent. t. • During Dri, she decides to take acon without sharing her reasons why. why. This is a sign that she needs space and me to heal. • To move her closer to you, you, respect the space that she creates, and reward her by reaching out to establish a stronger False Friendship. • A False False Friendship is is especially eecve eecve in this case, as she will feel less threatened and be more likely to open up to you about the problems she is facing. • A False False Friendship also gives you the opportunity to plant plant a memorable Bliss Bomb in her mind, m ind, which acvates posive and passionate feelings in her mind. • A posive posive atude is crical during this me. If she she detects anger or resentment, it will turn her away. away.
7 Switch
CHAPTER 6: SWITCH
Aaron and Emma: The arguments started small. They ended in playful jabs that were not really arguments, but conversaons that always seemed to go with the unspoken rule of, of, so “that’ “that ’s what you think.” Nevertheless, there was always a tension, and an underlying move in everything that was said. It wasn’t long before one conversaon could be mistaken mistaken as innocent, but it was far from it. It’s hard to explain, but if you have ever thought one thing and said another, another, you will get what I mean. These moments are hard to see at the t he me, but looking back, it’ it ’s obvious. It’ It ’s almost like the evoluon of a thought, where an idea is sparked, and it grows and grows, unl it is created in the world. Yet Yet in that moment, you do not realize how powerful those mes are. So as the tension built, so did the desire to say one thing and do another. It wasn’t any one thing. It just became the norm. Instead of being passionate, there was a weird sense of compeon. It was as if neither could say what they were feeling. Over a few months, it began to break them down, unl the relaonship didn’t seem worth it anymore. To be connued….
CHAPTER 6: SWITCH
What Is Switch? Switch During Switch, something happens to cause doubt in her mind. It has put her in a state of “evaluaon,” where she is on the doorsteps of Dri.
During Switch, you begin to get the funny feeling that “something is dierent,” dierent,” even if you do not know exactly what it is. She sll wants to spend me with you and keeps her plans though, so Switch does not have to become a Relaonship Killer. Killer. In fact, when handled correctly, correctly, these mes can signal a chance for you to “Switch to Bliss.” It’s all in how you approach her change of feelings, framing them into something posive. While this is a temporary feeling during Switch, it can escalate with Relaonship Decay to make her Dri (a longer-term decision that has signicant side eects). The best way to think about Switch is that it feels more like an “evaluaon period.” If she is focusing on the posive points of your relaonship, she treats you well. If she is focusing on the negave, she may seem moody or withdrawn. Switch can happen aer an extended period when she noces something lacking from the relaonship, and is an indicator that she is about to Dri. This is why it is imperave that you must idenfy the reasons she is losing interest in you.
CHAPTER 6: SWITCH
When she feels overwhelmed, stressed, or anxious, her body seeks to protect her from further furthe r aacks and lowers her desire to act on impulse and passion. Oen the easiest way to resolve this feeling of unease is through communicaon. While you cannot resolve all of her problems, she might become more responsive if she feels like you understand and care about her. As Switch is an evaluaon period, showing that you are open and supporve of her emoons means that you can turn these into a posive bonding experience (or plan one, such as a special night out). If you are a re not currently together, together, follow your best judgments
Remember:
when oering friendly supporve and honest advice. You want
Relaonship
her to see you as a solid friend who cares.
Rewind is always about customizing
When all else fails, give her me.
your plan to suit your exact
Switch is not permanent, and there is a good chance that she will come back round. Then, you can iniate a False Friendship, followed by a Bliss Bomb, and boost her happiness.
How to Tell When She Is In Switch A Switch is dierent for every person, so being able to idenfy what is not usual for her is crical. The key is nocing that she is acng dierent, and how you respond. Do not automacally assume that her changes mean she is in Switch; we all have down days. If she has extended periods of
situaon, as you need these techniques.
CHAPTER 6: SWITCH
unrest, this is cause for intervenon. Overcompensang is another incriminang symptom, where she acts very loving as a s she tries to prove to herself that this is a worthwhile relaonship. Either way, way, keep an eye on any changes, how long they last, or how frequent they become. Changes of more than a few days or weeks require intervenon. This means her Switch is changing from an errant thought into a more decisive decision to Dri. An intervenon could be a non-confrontaonal non-confrontaonal talk, or it could be using a Bonding Moment to help cheer chee r her up. Refer back to avoiding a Negave Bonding Experience in Chapter 5 for advice. Also important to note:
If you pursue only by drawing her closer and acng more passionately,, it will have the same eect as passionately a s two magnets repelling one another. You have to nd out what is causing the Switch, so you can correct it. Otherwise, she will jusfy her decisions as a defense mechanism, and will connue to move away unl the Dri is tangible. If that connues to escalate, then you will end up on Death’s Doors.
CHAPTER 6: SWITCH
Here are some simple ways to troubleshoot the Switch: Ask yourself:
Have you noced she is spending more me with friends or that her friends stopped being as welcoming toward you? Maybe the me you spend together is less valuable or that aer your breakup, you began to look back and realize that things were not as smooth sailing as you thought. Maybe you are le wondering how you didn’t see things Dri and now it feels too late? These are all areas where you can think back on the previous relaonship, and gauge what it was that made her begin to Switch. This is an advanced a dvanced understanding understanding of Dri also.
How to Challenge the Switch You should be communicang with her he r during this me or spending me together in your False Friendship. It is likely that you will feel like things aren’t right, even if you cannot pinpoint why that is. There will be mes when you will move in and out of Switch and Bliss, as the rewinding process evolves or perishes. Remember, Remember, this is a me where she will be unsure, and will be in Switch, even if she is happy with the False Friendship. This is because she did make a decision to leave, and may be thinking of that oen. The good news is that this means she can think of you posively more oen also!
CHAPTER 6: SWITCH
The only way to reverse a Switch is through communicaon and with a series of face-to-face meengs. This is why you have been invesng in a False Friendship, so that being able to meet up is always receives a posive response. This is the me, where you need to discuss what went wrong in the relaonship, or ask her quesons that you may need for closure. Do this in person; this is not an appropriate phone or email conversaon. Friends oen go out for dinner or meet for drinks, and she may be seeing someone else. Creang a False Date will only drive her away and will unravel all of her newfound interest. If you haven’t seen each other for a while, meeng somewhere public and neutral is a good idea. Choosing your old favorite
Remember:
In Switch, she
restaurant restaurant may sr up unexpected emoons in each of you, so
is not sure if
choose a new place to create fresh memories. While you might
being with you
think this a great me to explore a Bonding Moment, you want
is a smart move
to make sure it is for the right reasons and reduce the risk of it backring.
for her. Going out with you is going to be a commitment
You should treat this night as a date, so make a strong impression.. However, However, unless she specically calls it a date, it is not one.
on her part. One that could risk her feeling as if she is jeopardizing jeopardizin g her
The best way to handle the night is to keep things short and sweet. Spend some quality me together and open the lines of communicaon. This is an advancement of the False Friendship and bringing it to the next level. On the rst meeng, it is best to keep things to the point: ask how she is and how the me aer you split has been. You want to show her that you are interested in what she has been doing without making her feel interrogated.
choices.
CHAPTER 6: SWITCH
Equally, Equally, she is going to have quesons for you, and looking over the notes that you have been creang since Chapter 2 can help you feel more organized. How much or how lile you wish to share is enrely up to you. It is perfectly acceptable a cceptable not to address every issue right now. now. This may sound confusing, but it is much more benecial for you to postpone a topic unl the next meeng (which can pique her interest), than it is to come out and cover something which could lead to an argument. The purpose of this meeng m eeng is to see one another, another, and move into territory that is more personal. Do not be scared to call the night short either e ither,, even if it has gone exceponally well. In fact, this is desirable because you will create intrigue and mystery. Keeping the rst meeng to less than an hour is m e ideal. Even less than 30 minutes will be more than enough me to go in, communicate, and move to the next stage, which is transioning into a full-blown False Friendship. This is where she can call and meet with you oen and easily e asily.. If you hang around, she may begin to wonder if you have an agenda.
Also: The purpose of the rst meeng should be to close the distance, and to help shine a new light on the accomplishments a ccomplishments you are making. As the meengs become more frequent, you can begin to gauge her emoonal climate. Follow her lead in by asking and answering quesons about where the relaonship went wrong, if that’s relevant to you both. However, you should be spending this me creang bonding moments, which take precedence over everything.
CHAPTER 6: SWITCH
Over the next few weeks, you will learn to use Bliss Moments, which are not rehashed from your relaonship, but new memories from the relaonship you are forging. This will enhance how she sees your changes. Then, once she sees that you have fun together, together, she will nd you irresisble. In most cases, this is enough for her to work up the courage to ask for an ocial date, which you can accept.
Things to Avoid Avoid Doing in Switch The great news is, once you begin this causal, friendly dang , and all the techniques you have been learning can be applied to your new relaonship. Do not rush things. Let her aracon build naturally as friends rst.
In Switch, you need to have a strategic mindset when it comes to face-to-face contact. In other words, avoid asking quesons like “Are we okay?” It is good to show an understanding of her changed behavior and where it’s coming from, but make it clear to her that if she is not willing to communicate about a problem, then you don’t think she is taking the relaonship seriously. seriously. In return, you can begin to Dri. If she seems to be hesitant to communicate, point out that out to her. her. Otherwise, all you will do is encourage her negave behavior. Instead, remind her about the me you two have spent being
CHAPTER 6: SWITCH
happy. happy. If it’ it ’s the rst me you have experienced Switch, point that out, “these things happen.” Frame it as a new experience for the two of you.
Here is an email I got from a friend of mine going through the same thing:
A couple of months ago, my girlfriend Sarah and I split up. I began following the Relaonship Rewind, hoping to win her back, but I don’t know why it went wrong. Everything was going well, a few months later, later, we were making signicant progress. I knew when to compliment her and when to give her space. I knew when to call, and when to go and do my own thing. I was happy to let things play out and see where it would take us. We were really geng into the False Friendship and she was responsive. I even had a feeling she might be “The One,” One,” and that she was coming back around to Bliss. As you said, these techniques drew her closer as she became more intrigued. In fact, it was all going so well that recently, recently, I was waing for her to tell me those three words. Only, Only, they never came.
CHAPTER 6: SWITCH
Instead, this is what happened… In the summer, she was due to go back to nursing school. We were both busy, busy, not much of a surprise, but about two weeks before before she was ready to leave, I got a call that changed everything. She was avoiding my quesons and seemed distant, which was not like her at all. I knew she was overwhelmed, but I couldn’t believe it when she told me we shouldn’t be friends! She didn’t even give me a reason. She just kept saying that she was busy and that she had to focus on school. I have no idea what changed. I knew she was going back, but instead of it being be ing something we were going to accomplish a ccomplish together, together, it became the deciding dec iding factor in our breakup. Now, Now, I can’t get a hold of her, and I have no idea what’s going on or if she will take me back. What did I do wrong?
First, this is a classic example of Switch, and how it can lead to Dri. Secondly, Secondly, you didn’t do anything wrong; her priories changed.
CHAPTER 6: SWITCH
Instead of wanng to spend me with him and feel good in their relaonship, she found those feelings from college and all that it can oer. oer. She reinforced her decision that being alone could be a rewarding experience. The False Friendship was not trigger the emoonal responses needed to solidify a meaningful relaonship. This is also an example of why, why, even if you do nothing wrong, she can sll feel emoonally lacking, whether she realizes it or not.
The problem with this situaon is if he feels like he did something wrong and tries to make amends. This sends her running in the other direcon. Instead of playing it cool, you now come across as needy or dependent. All those great things you think you are doing are only serving to solidify her feelings of being overwhelmed and running out of me, which she must priorize for nursing school and work. Think of it like self-preservaon… self-preservaon… We all have a built-in desire to succeed, and a nd there are certain things we need to accomplish to make ourselves feel valued. A relaonship can be one of those things, in fact, it ’s one of the most important things, but if the other person isn’t geng a sense of personal sasfacon from the relaonship, then they begin to look elsewhere. That does not always mean cheang, though that t hat can happen, but essenally looking for personal Bliss.
CHAPTER 6: SWITCH
In this example, the potenal to be “strung along” is massive. m assive. She might feel guilty about having led you on all summer, summer, now she realizes school is just around the corner, corner, which is why she Switched at the last minute. She might also be telling you things like, “We can meet up once school gets into a roune,” or, “Let’s see how things go.” go.” Neither of these will bring you back to Bliss, nor win her heart.
CHAPTER 6: SWITCH
Keynotes
• Switch is the beginning of a Dri. It can be reced if you have a strong False Friendship and are able to discuss the reasons easily. • Switch is an ideal me to to use communicaon to bring posive reinforcement into your relaonship. • Rewar Reward d her for for mes when she she reaches out to you. • Switch can oen feel feel much worse worse than it is, is, so always always remember to remain objecve and use your posive outlook to impress her. • Go back and reread the secons on how to to respond to Switch, and review the red ags ag s before taking acon. Incorrect applicaon of these techniques can force a Dri. • These techniques are applicable applicable for the duraon duraon of your False Friendship and new Relaonship, as they encourage e ncourage bonding.
8 Bliss
CHAPTER 7: BLISS
Aaron and Emma: Looking back, it’s crazy how happy Aaron and Emma are. They realized that instead of pushing each ea ch other away, away, it was possible to come up with a compromise that didn’t mean losing out on happiness. Now they have the best of both worlds. The process did take a while, but looking back, they enjoyed that. It was like dang again and falling in love. What they discovered, is that if the spark is there, it is possible to get it back. Even though they kept in touch aer the t he breakup, the magic didn’t resurface overnight. They had to forge a friendship, which helped them move from friends into something more. They each said that was the hardest part. Those feelings don’t just go away, away, but nding them t hem and understanding understanding them with everything else going on takes me. Rome wasn’t built in a day, and it’s true… Once that ball was rolling, it was as if everything every thing happened overnight. They realized they needed the me apart, apart , as it gave them the me to realize what they wanted, and are now able to share those t hose ideas with each e ach other. other. It’s incredible!
CHAPTER 7: BLISS
What Is Bliss? Bliss: Bliss is a me when you are 100% happy. You may be blind to your partner’s faults, but you each work to overcome any obstacles in the relaonship.
Have you ever found yourself thoroughly enamored by someone of the opposite sex? I’m not talking about sexual aracon, or even lust, Bliss goes far deeper than that. It oen starts out when you are young, when all you want to do is throw scks at her in the playground. playground. It can last into adolescence and beyond. The me when you can’t stop holding her hand, or you nd yourself thinking the most ridiculous quesons like, like, “How does she get her hair to smell like that?” Suddenly, Suddenly, it’ it ’s as if the world is thrown into slow moon. When she smiles the whole world lights up. What you are experiencing is not love or lust, but rather miraculously Bliss. The complete wonder, wonder, the crazy emoons, and the feeling of ‘this last forever.’ Bliss is sing on the beach at 3 am talking about life goals or cuddling in front of the T V thinking, ‘She’s the one for me.’ me.’ Bliss is easily the most rewarding of all levels of emoonal bonding because it feels so easy. easy. This is why the Relaonship Rewind rewards returning to Bliss. When you understand how to spark this feeling in her, her, the process becomes so easy anyone can win back his ex!
CHAPTER 7: BLISS
Real Life Examples of Bliss Honeymoons are prime examples of manufactured Bliss. That’s not to say there is anything wrong with this. In fact, I am going to show you how to use it and a nd understanding why it works is equally benecial. When you go away on a honeymoon, you have an idea of the things you want to try, so you build up ancipaon. Then when you go, it turns into the event of a lifeme. Enjoying your honeymoon is one of the most rewarding experiences, not just because of the romance, but because spending me together is not complicated. You You have a once in a lifeme opportunity to turn o all distracons and wrap your arms around the woman you love. No one from work is going to call and people will even celebrate your relaonship with you. It is one of the easiest ea siest mes in a relaonship because it’s founded on Bliss. Furthermore, you create Bliss Moments that capture the magic of this crical me. Then, when you arrive home, you can joyfully think back on these moments and use those good feelings to propel your relaonship forward. You You might not realize that you are doing it, but you are. It could be as simple as taking a photograph together. together. Then as you snuggle together on the couch, you can comment on how this was one of the happiest days of your life. By pinpoinng a specic happy moment, you can create a joint experience.
CHAPTER 7: BLISS
This is incredibly powerful when you recall that moment later and you recreate the feelings from that me. This happens because for every acon, there is a reacon; and in relaonships, acons and reacons are happening all the me. Despite not being in the relaonship, you are sll an acve parcipant. You You are each going through dierent feelings that can have posive and negave outcomes. It is my duty to ensure that those help transform transform your relaonship back into love. You can learn when to impart a magical Bliss Moment, which will trigger these kinds of feelings and emoons to bond her to you. These incredible moments create a true sense of love that makes her feel like you are the only man for her. They bond you with posive experiences, which make xing any problems you have simple. She will be completely enamored by you and should now be returning your romanc senments under the pretenses. This is crical as when the False Friendship begins to evolve into that sensive “does she, doesn’t she” that we remember from dang. You will be compelled by love to know that yes, she does! Understanding Understanding the Relaonship Rewind, not only helps you recognize when changes dissolve your Bliss, but it will also show you how to bring her “back to Bliss.” Bliss.” It will not maer if you catch the change during the rst stage of Relaonship Decay (Chapter 3), or if you are in a later stage. All you have to do is start from the step, which is applicable, and work your way back
CHAPTER 7: BLISS
to this monumental me. If, If, for some reason the false Friendship is not responsive, and she is sll Indierent, I have one last technique to share… This is radical, so only read when you are looking for a ‘last chance.’
Emotion First, Love Later (EF, LL) Many people make the mistake of trying to get her back into a state of Bliss in the wrong way. They oen do nice things that they think will automacally restore the relaonship. These can be random acts of kindness, which are meant to show how much you care. Oen they are perceived in a way that makes you appear a ppear needy, clingy, clingy, or even desperate, which are not aracve, Blissful traits. If she is unresponsive to the False Friendship, these acts will further establish her resolve that being detached is the right thing to do. Indierence is the only thing you should be concerned about, because it is dicult (but not impossible) to recover from. You cannot easily leverage emoons, if they do not exist. This is the same as leading a horse to water, water, but if she doesn’t want to drink, there is not much you can do. Thankfully, Thankfully, the way humans are programmed means that even if she says she is indierent, indierent, there is only a small chance this is true. What is more likely is that she is mad, upset, confused, jealous, bier or angry. angry. These
CHAPTER 7: BLISS
all show she is capable of feeling something for you. Now, Now, it’ it ’s a case of kick starng those emoons and plumbing back into the Relaonship Rewind once more. I know you can do this! These are all emoons, which show anything but Indierence. You might think this is awful or impossible, but if you have ever felt anger in an argument, then you have felt raw, raw, burning passion. People oen mistake hate as the opposite of love, when really, really, hate is misconstrued love, an impossibly frustrated message waing to break free. Once you uncap this nal hurdle, you will nd the exact answers you are looking for! A great technique to use is to write down the top ve emoons she shows most frequently or strongly around you.
What Five Emoons Does She Show Are You: 1.
2. 3. 4. 5.
CHAPTER 7: BLISS
This will help you pinpoint what she is feeling and how to change those into posives. By now, now, there is also a lso a good chance these are already posives. By which case, congratulaons, all you have to do is plant your Bliss Bomb and wait for her to beg for you back!
Detonating the “Back to Bliss Bomb” Think back to a moment you shared with her, when something strange, funny, funny, or memorable happened. Do not pick something inmate or senmental. Try to nd something entertaining that happened when you were having a good me. You want want her to remember a moment when you were friendly and social with each other. other. The emoonal es of being together in that memory will play a factor, factor, when her mind is brought back to that moment. You want to lead her into the setup for when the Bliss Moment happened, without giving away the full details right away. away. This will not only help her understand what you are talking about, but will also make her wonder what it could be that reminded you of her. her. It will make her think harder about that moment in Bliss, going over the details, and bringing all those old Blissful emoons back to the surface.
CHAPTER 7: BLISS
Try saying something like this:
“I just want to tell you everything has been going so great, like surprisingly great. I cannot believe how easy and worry-free things have been since we started hanging out. It’s as if we never had to worry about mind games or any of that bullshit; we were just able to be open about everything. I think that’s why things have gone so smoothly. That’s why I want you to promise me that if something ever happens between us, like if one of us does something to upset the other, or an argument happens, or anything bothers us that we will just sit down and actually talk about it. I would hate to let something come between us when we could have talked it over and made an eort to x it.”
She will of course agree to this — this is what everyone wants to be able to do. It also establishes you and her as a couple, who talks out t heir issues, instead of ghng and ignoring them. However, However, it is challenging to remember when an actual act ual issue occurs. A couple will be caught in what is upseng them and begin to Switch. Sadly, Sadly, frequent ebbs and ows mean me an that you are even less likely to avoid rewarding her with Bliss. Aer she responds, then you can give the rest of the details about what it was that reminded you of that Bliss Moment and this can help either e ither start a new relaonship, or bond your exisng relaonship.
CHAPTER 7: BLISS
Try this simple technique instead…
Introducing the “I Love You Ladder” Do you nd yourself wanng to say, “I love you,” but you are afraid it’s too early? On the other hand, maybe you are afraid of how she will react. You might have heard the age-old wisdom that saying, “I love you” too early in a relaonship can be a deal breaker, breaker, but have you stopped to think why that is? The obvious reason would be that the other person doesn’t love you back. Therefore, you’ve you’ve put your emoons e moons on the line and now have one of two possible outcomes: You either live with the fact that you have an unrequited love or or,, Your lover decides that it’s all too much and leaves.
What many people tend to overlook is that in the majority ma jority of cases, most people will actually say it back, whether they mean it or not. When someone says, “I love you,” you,” and they don’t, a can of emoonal pain is opened. The regret and disillusionment you feel makes it harder to move on one day, day, because you thought you had mutual love and you connued on blissfully unaware.
CHAPTER 7: BLISS
This is because when you say, say, “I love you,” and they say it back; bac k; you acvate your most powerful organ, your brain. When you trigger your brain with these words, the eects of love are set in moon, which are incredibly powerful. Therefore, Therefore, even if she doesn’t mean it, you could be on the receiving end of passionate aecon. Which while that sounds fantasc now, now, is only temporary as you are about to see.
How to Use the “I Love You Ladder” Here is a way you can enjoy the rewards, without actually saying, “I love you.” you.” This will create the beauful tension that develops from knowing you love each other, other, without adming it yet. Some might call this a “win-win” situaon. Here’s what you do:
Iniate eye contact with her and then give her an “I love compliment.” Tell her that you love a disncve quality about her. An example might be, “I love that you are so opmisc about everything.” The key is to start your compliment with “I love that…” Oen she will reciprocate by giving you a compliment back. This can start an exchange of compliments between you both, where you are essenally saying the things you love about each other, other, without saying, “I love you.” you.” You can increase the frequency
CHAPTER 7: BLISS
and intensity throughout the False Friendship. This is does not replace telling her that you love her, her, but is to be used to iniate that spark of Bliss back into your relaonship. You want to tell her that you love her one day, when you are back in the relaonship and are condent that it is the right me for those powerful words. By then, your worry will be gone, because you already know she feels the same way about you. She has been subtly saying it back to you in her own compliments, if she hasn’t just come out and said it already. already. Enjoy the buery feelings. They are nature’s way way of leng you know you are on track!
What Five Emoons Does She Show Are You: 1.
2. 3. 4. 5.
By hopping onto the rst rung of the Love Ladder, Ladder, you start to engage her emoons e moons in a posive way. way. You are not risking pushing her away by moving too soon. Also, women love to be complimented. It makes them feel appreciated, so approaching love as a compliment is not only a sincere way to bridge
CHAPTER 7: BLISS
the emoonal gap, but also a good way to brighten her day. Once you have done this, you are free to move onto another conversaon conversaon and connue enjoying each e ach other ’s company. company. It is important to note, the real magic lies in that moment where you both know you love each e ach other, other, without having to say it at all. Therefore, even if she doesn’t respond immediately, immediately, enjoy the sexual tension and let her work herself into a frenzy as this is happening. It ’s like falling into love again, and is extremely sasfying when it clicks into place. Think back to when you were dang, and how these were the best feelings during that me. You didn’t know for sure, but somehow you did know, and when it’s all said and done, you cannot get those bueries back!
CHAPTER 7: BLISS
Keynotes
• Bliss is an incredible me, and one that you will be aiming to stay in for the rest of the relaonship. You You can acvate a cvate Bliss during specic stages as advised. • Be careful only to use the Bliss Bombs Bombs and other bonding techniques when advised, as using them at the wrong me can appear weak or desperate. • If she is unresponsive unresponsive to the Relaonship Relaonship Mechanisms, go back to the False Friendship and strengthen that bond. You may have accidently skipped ahead. • Bliss is an incredibly powerful technique, technique, but is only as eecve as the me you choose to deploy it. Most men jump too soon. Be paent, and know you you will be rewarded. • When you reward reward her with Bliss, she cannot help but chase you in return and will seek to reconcile a relaonship with you.
Conclusion
CONCLUSION
Truly Beneting from the Relationship Rewind These nal pieces of wisdom are to be used when the me is right. These will help you create the roots of a long-lasng relaonship. At this moment, it does not maer if your relaonship is in the Relaonship Decay, Relaonship Breakdown, or Death’s Door phase. It is only important that you acknowledge, accept, acce pt, and respect whatever phase you nd yourself. yourself. This is a universal technique, which relies on mes healing power to give you the grounding for change. Then, you can move to the secon in this book, which gives you advice on how to rewind the relaonship from that specic point. In the majority of cases, we hold onto emoons aer a breakup, without realizing that what we are actually holding out for is a second chance. A hope for something more. The seeds of love have been planted, and it is highly unlikely that she is now Indierent to you. Very few women give away love, it’s almost impossible. The steps outlined in this t his book will help you construct a new direcon for your relaonship and those exisng emoons. If she is Indierent, Indierent, reread the secon on Death’s Door (see Chapter 4). Familiarize Familiarize yourself with those acons now, now, because you will need them. While your eorts reading this guide and absorbing these lessons are admirable, you cannot truly Rewind a Relaonship that hasn’t been given me to heal. It is important for you to
CONCLUSION
step back from from the situaon. This is the most crical crical thing you can do right now. now. You are each going through changes, feeling pressures, and dealing with many unknowns. Take Take me to heal and know that this doesn’t mean it will be like this forever. forever. The best mindset to make the Relaonship Rewind work for you is to accept that it was not you or even your acons that caused the Relaonship Decay.
Remember: Miscommunicaons led to
Relaonships are always evolving, and the faster you can grasp this, the less likely you will be to derail your relaonships by accident or by missing the crical warning signs. Don’t forget to go back and read the Keynotes at the end of each chapter too. These will help you gauge where you are in the cycle of the Relaonship Rewind, Rewind, and how to troubleshoot any challenges you are facing.
Truly Beneting from the Relationship Rewind Prevenng Relaonship Decay has never been simpler. simpler. Now you have the tools to reestablish your relaonship. Simply keep this book for reference and come back when you understand where you are. Read the chapter to your current situaon. When you are in Bliss, do not forget to use Posive Bonding moments regularly to prevent further Relaonship Decay. Decay. When you are in Bliss, you automacally prevent Relaonship Decay, as there is no hesitaon or uncertainty, only passion.
the mishandling of your relaonship.
CONCLUSION
The trick to a happy relaonship is to ensure there are fewer problems to correct. It is no use waing to land on Death’s Death’s Door this me around; few women are responsive to the Relaonship Rewind Rewind if they must go through the process mulple mes.
Your Y our Relationship Rewind User’s Guide: • Death’s Door: Move to Emoons First, Love Later. You have
experienced a Relaonship Breakdown Breakdown and are looking for ways to communicate with her again. • Dri: Move to the False Friendship. You You have experienced
emoonal detachment, and are looking to establish roots for the relaonship to grow from. • Switch: Use the Bliss Bomb with Bliss Moments. You have
secured a False Friendship and are bringing romance back into her mind. • Bliss: Use Posive Bonding to encourage feelings of Bliss. You
have successfully grown the relaonship back into acvity, and you want to keep it that way.
CONCLUSION
Living and Loving with Bliss The fairytale “happily ever aer” is only in movies. However, However, there are opportunies to bring more joy into your relaonship by using changing mes to rekindle your Bliss. These pivotal moments are always going to require me, eort, communicaon, commitment, and respect though. For some, this might sound mundane, but I really am the happiest I have ever been. I stopped working late nights, and now work from the comfort of home so that I can spend more me with my partner. partner. I also know that when we communicate our feelings, or when things feel less than magical, there are steps I can take to make her feel exceponal. Now I make me for those special date nights and for Sundays spending quality me together. If I retreat or detach from my partner, she knows how to pull me out of that funk and back into a passionate relaonship too. This feels like a blanket of comfort. The methods you have been learning can go both ways, and are more powerful if two people can use them together. The nal queson you must ask yourself then is, “Is she the one for you?” This is the hardest queson of all. It will require you to be more brutally honest than ever before, and possibly go against your beer judgment. If you focus on invesng in a woman you love, then no maer
CONCLUSION
where life leads you, I know you will nd what you are been looking for. for.
Will She Love You As You Love Her? At the end of the day, day, there are plenty of techniques you can use to get her back. Having her back must be worth your me. I know this sound selsh, but it’s about as real as I can be. These techniques only work if you are on an equal foong; otherwise, the swings of change will be too frequent. If she doesn’t match your love, respect, or ability a bility to move forward, then consider looking elsewhere. If you believe be lieve that she can love you uncondionally, uncondionally, honestly, honestly, and earnestly, earnestly, then that alone is a massive accomplishment. While you understand that it is important to bond, you need to know how to bond specically with your ex. This was something that was missing from your previous relaonship. Learning how to bond when geng her back is indispensable. As you have a history together, together, this is much easier than learning lea rning how to do it with a stranger, but the same techniques apply. Bonding and the power of life-altering decisions go hand-inhand. When she feels distant or detached from you, she is likely to make massive decisions on her own. She wants to make the right decisions, but those do not always involve you. Unless you bond, your opportunies to Rewind the Relaonship, or keep her around become much less frequent. They can also be the deciding factor in the Relaonship Breakdown.
CONCLUSION
Good Luck! Congratulaons on reaching this signicant milestone in your Rewind Relaonship journey. As you go forward, keep in mind where you are heading, where you want to go, and who you want to go with. There is a tremendous amount of potenal waing for you, and in going forth with this knowledge, I know that you will achieve exceponal things. Moreover, Moreover, your results will be with shared her. Also, know that you have incredible tools in your hands that can work with any woman. There is no shame in spling up for the right reasons, even if a part of you will always love her. Woven into this incredible system are the tools needed to move on and heal on your own terms. The majority of people who complete this system nd the relaonship they were looking for, for, but some are pleasantly surprised that it is not with the person that they once thought worthy. Either way, way, I want to wish you success and I would love to hear how you get on.
Ryan Rivers Creator of The Relaonship Rewind System
Disclaimer I believe no situaon is impossible, even at Death’s Door (the nal stage of Relaonship Decay). As with all things, mastering the Relaonship Rewind Rewind system is like any other skill. It is a three-step process, which you must learn and apply to your specic situaon. The great thing about this system is that once you are able to idenfy the mistakes you were making, you will not only avoid making these mistakes mistakes again, but also be able to x them when they occur. Using Relaonship Rewind, you need to idenfy when she no longer feels the same level of aracon for you. The accumulaon of the emoons you create in her, along with her state of mind, is her aracon for you. If this state changes, it’s the aim of Relaonship Rewind to bring she back to the same state of mind, so that the aracon can be culvated and developed again. If you are unable to carry out these acons, then this system cannot work. For this reason, this advice is oered with the understanding that you will take the acons I suggest, no maer how crazy they may seem. Aim to put in the me and eort necessary to found a healthy relaonship. relaonship. While intuive and simple, no relaonship will ever be just a walk in the park and the author accepts no responsibility or liability, liability, if things don’t go the way you want. Somemes you need to take the good with the bad in life. Understand that what you are feeling is undoubtedly the most beauful sadness there is. For that, you should mentally thank the person who had such an eect on you for the experience. Be excited to know that the lessons you have learned will help you maintain that happiness when you nd it again. I know you can nd it again!
Copyright Noce
Relaonship Rewind and any supporng ideas are protected under the US Copyright Act of 1976 and all other applicable internaonal, federal, state, and local laws. All rights are reserved including resale rights: you are not to give, donate, or otherwise sell or give away this eBook. If you received this publicaon from anyone other than author, website, or service distribuon channel, you have received a pirated copy. This eBook contains personal experience and anecdotal evidence as provided by the author in good faith. It does not guarantee that you will get your ex back, only providing you with tools to try so yourself. Names have been changed to protect the idenes of examples given. The author and publisher have made every reasonable aempt to achieve complete accuracy of the content in this eBook; they assume no responsibility or liability for errors or omissions therein. Any trademarks, service marks, product names, or named features are the property of their respecve owners and are only for reference purposes. There is no implied endorsement if a term is used, and all endorsements will be clearly outlined with due credit. Finally, please use common sense. Nothing in this companion guide is to replace that of, legal, medical, or other professional advice, and is to inform and entertain the reader only. Copyright © 2013 Relaonship Rewind. All Rights Reserved Worldwide.
GLOSSARY Bliss: Bliss describes a me of being
Bonding Experience: A planned
in complete happiness. You are blind
emoonal Bonding Experience. While
to faults, and work to overcome any
a Bliss Moment is happy and promotes
obstacles in the relaonship. The
bonding between you and she, a Bonding
Bliss stage contains an abundance
Experience is not always happy. happy. The best
of both Bliss Moments, and Bonding
Bonding Experiences usually involve
Experiences, both dened below. below. This is
overcoming a strong challenge together.
where an ideal relaonship spends most
I.e. being trapped in an elevator,
of its me.
experiencing fear and a nd uncertainty, uncertainty, but ending up safe and victorious.
Bliss Bomb: A Bliss Bomb is the
acvaon of memories and experiences
Deaths Door: Deaths Door is the stage
to engage her posive aracon in an
where she has taken signicant acon(s)
unbreakable way. A Bliss Bomb can
to distance from you. It is not impossible
use Bliss Moments, or be used alone
to recover from Deaths Door, but you
as the climax for posive change in
should seriously evaluate the possibility
the Relaonship Status. This may also
of moving on since recovery is not
be known as a “Grand Gesture,” and
always benecial from this stage. If you
solidies feelings of Bliss.
are set, then refer to the False Friendship technique.
Bliss Moment: A moment where you
share pure happiness; where nothing
Dri: The main characterisc of Dri is
else in the universe seems to maer.
that she becomes indierent to you and
Bliss Moments lead to bonding, but
is much less interested in seeing you or
not all Bonding Experiences are Blissful
communicang with you. Her friends
or exhilarang. To the contrary, many
and family have given them posive
Bonding Experiences contain high levels
reinforcement to leave you. At this
of stress, fear or uncertainty.
stage, she is ‘exploring her opons.’ She may or may not be in the relaonship acvely at this me.
Emoon First, Love Later (EFLL): EFLL
Indierence: Indierence is a state of
is the strategy of igning a strong
mind that shows your partner no long
emoonal response in her, her, posive
has any feelings or emoons aached
or negave. There will be mes when
to the relaonship. This is the only
igning a negave response is the only
true me to worry about geng back
opon, so that the emoon can more
together. She has shown no remorse, no
easily be ‘ipped’ into passion or love.
anger, anger, or any other feeling that would
You should only use this technique te chnique
suggest she has the desire to get back
when bouncing back from a signicant
together, or move further away. It’s a
manifestaon of Deaths Door.
standsll.
False Friendship: A False Friendship is
Grieving: Grieving occurs aer the
a leveraging tool that allows a llows you to re-
relaonship has ended, and aer the
build a form of reliable communicaon
post-break post-break up and recovery phase. It
that does not push her away. Unlike the
is the most trying of mes as you fall
Friend Zone, parcipants of the False
into a negave cycle of emoons that
Friendship are encouraged to respond
can become dicult to break. Grieving
to desire, and are rewarded for chasing
occurs when one person wishes the
you when they insgate the relaonship
relaonship to become acve, and the
acvely.
other does not.
Friend Zone: The Friend Zone is similar
Negave Negave Bonding Experience: A
to Deaths Door, Door, where there is no chance
negave Bonding Experience happens
of recovering a passionate relaonship.
when instead of Bliss, she feels other othe r
Unlike Deaths Door, you can fall into
emoons that are detrimental to
the Friend Zone without ever being in a
the relaonship. This can range from
relaonship. The Friend Zone is usually
feeling angry or upset, to feeling as if
impossible to recover, unless you have a
she isn’t valuable to you, or that she
history, in which case refer to the False
is appreciated. These may not have
Friendship.
an immediate impact, but create Relaonship Decay over me.
Post-breakup: This is the me
Relaonship Breakdown: Breakdown: This occurs
immediately following a Relaonship
aer weeks or months of Relaonship
Breakdown. Breakdown. This is not the me to act on
Decay, Decay, and is the t he conscious act of
your emoons as they uctuate heavy
recognizing feelings of detachment or
during this me. When your relaonship
negave emoons. Unlike a breakup,
is newly ended, you might not be able
which is a denive end to the
to think or act raonally, raonally, and almost any a ny
relaonship, the Relaonship Breakdown
gestures and communicaon at this me
is the feeling that things are spiraling
will push her away.
downhill. This can lead to a Relaonship Breakdown, Breakdown, but is not always possible to
Pair Bond: A pair bond is the name
pinpoint as one specic acon or reason.
given to two people who have been in a relaonship and experienced amorous
Relaonship Decay: This is an intangible
emoons. Pair bonds typically last a
feeling that something is not right in the
lifeme, and can be revised using the
relaonship and manifests as Negave
Relaonship Rewind. Rewind. What is unique
Bonding Experiences. Over me, the
about pair bonds is that one partner can
relaonship becomes more hosle,
reject the bond, even if they sll have
less nurturing, and it can take however
feelings, causing a Dri.
long before an ocial Relaonship Breakdown Breakdown is recognized. Relaonship
Recovery: Recovery is the me when
Decay is happening whenever you are
you begin to feel more resolve aer a
not in Bliss.
Relaonship Breakdown, Breakdown, and when you begin to objecfy why it ended. It is
Relaonship Killer: The only true
important to complete the full recovery
Relaonship Killer is Indierence. This
me before enacng on these thoughts.
is how relaonships end and are unable
Otherwise, you will begin to push her
to be started. It eecvely cuts out any
away and will fall into the mourning
opportunity to reverse the damage or
phase.
replace ill intent will posive emoons. Most men believe themselves to be a vicm of the Relaonship Killer, Killer, but are actually at Deaths Door. Refer to Indierence to determine which is the true phase in moon.
Relaonship Mechanisms: The
Switch: During Switch, something has
Relaonship Mechanisms refer
happened to cause doubt in her mind. It
to Bliss, Switch, and Dri, as the
has put them into a state of ‘evaluaon’
main components of a funconing
where they are trying to determine if you
relaonship. You can use these
are right for them. Switch is where they
techniques, and their specic guidance
only internally experienced this doubt, or
to help manufacture the results you wish
perhaps shared it with a close friend. It is
to see. The mechanism is designed to
not oen tangible, but a general sense of
oer romanc longevity.
awry.
Relaonship Rewind: Relaonship
Rewind is the process of moving the relaonship back to a place where love was the aconable symptoms. The purpose of going back to a posive place is to reward and regain the feelings and emoons of a great relaonship. When you combine the Relaonship Mechanisms, you are engaging the Relaonship rewind. Relaonship Resolve: The Relaonship
Resolve is the me when you agree to follow the examples and instrucons given, and are able to do so without coercion or ill intent. You become recepve to the Relaonship rewind, and make a personal commitment to using the tools for the purposes they were created.
Bibliography BBC. The Science of Love. 2009. hp://www.bbc.co.uk/scien hp://www.bbc.co.uk/science/hoopics/lov ce/hoopics/love/ e/ (accessed May 6, 2013). Bowers, Elizabeth Shimer. 7 Signs You’re Lovesick. 2013. hp://www.everydayhealth.com/ depression-pictures/signsdepression-pictures/signs-youre-lov youre-lovesick.aspx#/ esick.aspx#/slide-1 slide-1 (accessed May 1, 2013). Centers Centers for Disease Control Control and Prevenon. Prevenon. Naonal Vital Stascs Reports. January 14, 2013. hp://www.cdc.gov/nchs/products/nvsr.htm#vol61 (accessed May 6, 2013). Clark, Josh. What’s the Happiness Project? 2013. hp://science.howstuworks.com/ hp://science.howstuworks.com/life/happ life/happinessinessproject.htm (accessed May 6, 2013). Edmonds, Molly. Is love at rst sight possible? 2013. hp://www.howstuworks.com/love-at-rstsight.htm (accessed May 7, 2013). Grin, R. Morgan. 10 Natural Depression Treatments. 2013. hp://www.webmd.com/depression/ features/natural-treatments (accessed mAY 1, 2013). Helen E. Fisher, Ph.D. Of Human Bonding. August 27, 2009. hp://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/ human-bonding/200908/what- human-bonding/200908/what-s-love s-love (accessed May 6, 2013). Perlman, David. Hormones’ complex role in human sexuality. 2013. hp://www.sfgate.com/news/ arcle/Hormones-complexarcle/Hormones-complex-role-in-human role-in-human-sexuality -sexuality-3177549.php -3177549.php (accessed May 13, 2013). Soonhee Lee, Ronald D. Rogge, Harry T. Reis. Assessing the Seeds of Relaonship Decay. June 8, 2010. hp://pss.sagepub.com/c hp://pss.sagepub.com/content/ ontent/early/2010/05/11/0 early/2010/05/11/0956797610371342.sh 956797610371342.short?rss=1&ssour ort?rss=1&ssource=mfc ce=mfc (accessed May 2, 2013). The Negave Bonding Paern. May 7, 2009. hp://www.experienceproject.com/stories/Miss-AFriend-I-Had-Once/545061 Friend-I-Had-Once/545061 (accessed May 7, 2013). Velasquez, Juan. Why Prarie Voles Fall In Love. Febuary 13, 2013. hp://knowingneurons. com/2013/02/13/whycom/2013/02/13/why-prairie-v prairie-voles-fall-in oles-fall-in-love-a-chemical-love-a-chemical-romance/ romance/ (accessed May 6, 2013). Weisinger, Dr. Hendrie. The Science of Relaonship Decay. June 6, 2010. hp://www.hungtonpost. com/srinivasan-pillay/div com/srinivasan-pillay/divorce-advice-wha orce-advice-what-ar t-are-t_b_602995.h e-t_b_602995.html tml (accessed May 1, 2013).