Speed Seduction Seminar Transcripts
Table Of Contents
Tape Contents Descriptions..........................................................................................................................................................1 Tape 1 – Side 1.................................................................................................................................................................................5 Tape 1 – Side 2...............................................................................................................................................................................15 Tape 2 – Side 1...............................................................................................................................................................................25 Tape 2 – Side 2...............................................................................................................................................................................36 Tape 3 – Side 1...............................................................................................................................................................................47 Tape 3 – Side 2...............................................................................................................................................................................58 Tape 4 – Side 1...............................................................................................................................................................................68 Tape 4 – Side 2...............................................................................................................................................................................76 Tape 5 – Side 1...............................................................................................................................................................................88 Tape 5 – Side 2...............................................................................................................................................................................99 Tape 6 – Side 1.............................................................................................................................................................................113 Tape 6 – Side 2.............................................................................................................................................................................127 Tape 7 – Side 1.............................................................................................................................................................................136 Tape 7 – Side 2.............................................................................................................................................................................147 Tape 8 – Side 1.............................................................................................................................................................................163 Tape 8 – Side 2.............................................................................................................................................................................174 Tape 9 – Side 1.............................................................................................................................................................................185 Tape 9 – Side 2.............................................................................................................................................................................200 Tape 10 – Side 1...........................................................................................................................................................................214 Tape 10 – Side 2...........................................................................................................................................................................230
Tape Contents Descriptions Side 1 The problems with dating Basic SS rule: capture and lead her imagination There’s no such thing... Possible “newbie” mistakes: patterns are made up patterns are goofy... women won’t respond using patterns as hi-tech begging having unrealistic expectations on yourself Will vs. willingness Women’s compartmentalization; places in women’s minds
Side 2 Beautiful women place men in altered states Overview of SS: 1) Designing your state 2) Seductive language 3) Conversational framework The 4 doorways into a woman’s mind Stories and descriptions; form vs. content Building blocks of patterns: weasel phrases Submission vs. surrender
Side 3 Brother John’s Italian girl story -- finger pointing Brother Dennis’ story and Ross’ commentary Major Mark: the romantic hero
Side 4 Major Mark continued: his initial SS development SS attitudes: Ross’ 10 Commandments How sound influences your mindset -- Ross working with a student on Rocky & Bullwinkle Rocky & Bullwinkle exercise
Side 5 Rocky & Bullwinkle exercise continued -- Ross working with students Initial pickups -- being outrageous: fake like you’re gay -- general structure: interrupt her state, focus her attention on you, take control of her internal reps -- “I’m glad you laughed...”
Side 6 The Grapho deck
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Initial pickups continued -- pauses -- seductive speaking pace -- examples of effective approaches Patterns/Discovery Channel pattern: -- layer 3 deep -- how to quote -- conversational framework -- ambiguity -- time distortion -- the contrast principle
Side 7 Looking vs. truly seeing pattern Have you ever thought of the difference between x and y? Thinking in themes: e.g., learning so much about people Anchoring negative feelings to someone else Conversational framework; transition phrases
Side 8 Major Mark: being a teacher vs. being someone you learn from Transition phrases continued Generating patterns: -- spinning patterns off of "Fantasies" -- guidelines for generating patterns -- being a sorcerer vs. casting a spell The AFC mindset Patterns as a promise
Side 9 Major Mark: the importance of the call for action Generating patterns continue Ross about "letting go" Ross working with Brother Pelone on getting intuitive Thoughts have locations Playing with her mental pictures Ross' induction and exercise to build a powerful self-image ("aha! box"...) Opening your intuition: -- peripheral vision
Side 10 Ross working with a student to get rid of unconscious images Orion's presentation: -- the initial walk up -- demonstrating patterns
Side 11 Orion's and Ross' presentation continued: -- sincerity
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-- patterns reflecting themes that are of deep passion to you -- experience the pattern yourself; reciting vs. revealing -- CLOSES: linguistic closes, strategic closes, dealing with boyfriend objection, physical closes (physical clues, "surprise kiss" pattern) -- personal space pattern -- describe the process you want her to experience -- massage pattern -- relationships: honesty, never harming her -- when she says “stop!”
Side 12 Orion's presentation concluded Ross on creating themes Major Mark -- pathological trance (compulsion, dominance, obsession) -- what does it mean to be a seducer?
Side 13 Major Mark continued: scoring with married women Ross working with a student (swish and more)
Side 14 End of Ross' working with students Content language vs. process language The importance of mental rehearsal Structure and form "Manny the Martian" exercise Ross working with a student on sounds that open better circuitry Quotes
Side 15 Quotes continued: -- Jokes. Voodoo Dildo. -- Poetry. "Fascination" poem. More pattern building blocks: Phonetic ambiguity, negation, hypnotic trance words, softeners. Working with "Drug of choice" student "Shock therapy"
Side 16 Moving her energy into desired states Useful questions to ask yourself Structuring opportunities and offering challenges Supplicating: -- techniques on how to test for it -- ways women get you to supplicate -- ways to avoid it Breath induction
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Context: -- in person vs. over phone -- someone you know vs. a new person Transition between patterns Major Mark: the power of repetition "You can make it be" poem
Side 17 Orion reading a poem to a girl Kim's presentation: voice, tonality, breathing, etc.
Side 18 Kim's presentation continued: inflection, feeling what you say Ross talking about his products Orion's presentation: -- discussing his poem presentation and his troubleshooter tapes -- demonstrating patterns (IC, value elicitation)
Side 19 Orion continued: eliciting Kim's values Ross demonstrating value elicitation with Brother Kathleen Orion demonstrating the Blammo
Side 20 Conclusion: testimonials
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the king and you supplicate him for a pardon. Just look at some of the languaging. Before we examine the languaging of speed seduction, let's look at some of the languaging of dating. What are some of the common terms? Ask her out, right? Okay. What else? Ask her out what are some of the things you think of when you think of dating? I have to ask her out. Where should I take her? Is she interested? Exactly. Will I get lucky? Does she like me? Okay. These are all thought forms of a supplicant, someone who needs to plea or ask or beg, and unfortunately the dating game leaves you two choices, well three choices. Choice number one is to be a nice guy, a. k. a. a supplicant. Choice number two is to be a jerk, a. k. a. a bully. Choice number three is sit it out and play with Mr. Winky. Okay. Which, given the circumstances, may not be that bad a choice considering the bullshit you have to go through. Okay. Speed seduction replaces dating. Dating is for what I call AFCs average frustrated chumps. And this morning what I'm going to do is give you some basic understandings about how and why speed seduction works and then, later on, for the rest of the weekend we'll get into the actual tools. But my belief is if you understand what the tools are designed to do, and if you understand each step you're step you're taking and what it's designed to do, you'll be able to use the tools much more powerfully. Does that make sense?
Tape 1 – Side 1 Yates: Welcome to the Ross Jeffries Basic Speed Seduction Seminar. This is Tape 1, Side 1
Ross: Speed Seduction Seminar Audience: (applause). Ross: Thank you. I know it's well deserved. I want to start out this morning by talking about why dating sucks and why you should not be dating and why speed seduction has nothing to do with dating and should not be used for dating. The problem with dating and the problem that dating poses for most men is, for most men dating is form of gambling. Okay? How many have ever heard the phrase "I got lucky"? All right. What does that imply? That means that something good happened to you, but you don't know how it happened, it was out of your control and you don't know how to reproduce it at will. In other words, it's pure roll of the dice. Dating is the equivalent of playing darts by being blindfolded, put in a dark room, spun around and throwing that dart hoping it's going to hit the target. So if you're sitting here in this room and you've tried everything you can within the dating game to make it work, if you're at the end of your rope, if you're feeling like a fucking failure, well, guess what? The game was rigged for you to fall. The game was never meant for you to succeed at it. Dating was meant for certain people. It was meant for the restaurant and the entertainment and the movie industries to make a lot of money. Okay? It was also designed for women to get free dinners, free shows and lots of nice gifts. Now, I'm not saying don't be generous. Being generous is fine after you've established that she's attracted to you and you're getting what you want from her. Okay? But dating is the method for attracting women, for seducing women, for creating an attraction, and having sexual choice and power pretty much sucks. Because dating requires that you supplicate. I want you to look at a word. This is very important. That word is supplicate. I want to tell you that he who supplicates, masturbates.
Audience: (Responses from audience) Ross: Now, they're different ways you can comment this material. You certainly could just memorize it, stupidly not understand what you're doing. And you'll have more success than a guy out there who's dating, but it's just not going to be nearly as successful as if you understand what you're doing. And one of the differences between me and other people in the NLP world is I want you to consciously, explicitly understand what you're doing step by step. Okay. I also believe the unconscious can make use of explicit to organize material. So, so far you following me? Audience: (Responses from audience) Ross: Make sense? Okay, good. So, you can either be, in the dating game, you can either be a bully or you can be a supplicant. To me, these are not good choices. Now, I know a lot of people say, well the key to being successful with women is being a jerk, and I don't think that's true at all. I think that's the key to being successful with the wrong king of women. I think a key understanding for you guys to grasp, and this is very powerful, I really want you guys to get this. If you get this, if you get nothing else, if you just
Audience: (Laughter) Ross: Do we know what the word supplicates means? Okay? Supplicate, to supplicate means to plea, to beg, to make earnest entreaties. Picture a king who has the ability to grant you a pardon or to kill you and you're accused of the crime and you crawl on your knees to
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get this one point, you will be so far ahead of the game when it comes to understanding, and pleasing, women and being successful with women, having them want to please you, that you will not believe it. Here's the understanding I want you guys to get. Okay. There's a difference. I want you to contemplate this. I'm not going to explain to you what the difference is, but I want you to think about it through the weekend. Through the weekend, I want you to think to yourself - what is the difference between getting a woman to submit and getting a woman to surrender? And how many people here in this room, honestly, have ever even thought about that distinction before this moment? That one distinction, I know you have Denny, that one distinction will take you further than having a Rolls Royce, a five hundred gallon drum of cocaine, or whatever it is you think, you think, is the key to being successful with women. Now let me make something clear. Within the confines of the dating game, you do need these things. You do need good looks, you do need a lot of money, you do need a lot of social status to be successful. There's no question about it. If you're going to play in that game, you need those things. Otherwise, you're shit out of luck. Okay. You're like a one-legged man in an ass kicking contest. How many people have ever felt that way when dating? Hey, I didn't feel I had a leg, I had a stump. Okay.
being survived before we discovered agriculture? What did we do for food? Audience: (Responses from audience) Ross: We were hunters. Okay. Hunters and gatherers. So what did that imply? If we were hunters and gatherers, what did we have to do? Audience: (Responses from audience) Ross: Right. We had to follow the game animals. So we were a nomadic society in everything, all our culture, a little introduction in elementary Marxist sociology here. Ross Jeffries is a Communist. He talked about - no I'm not. Okay. I'm a Libertarian. One ism that I never, ever experimented with was Communism. We were hunter/gatherers. Now, what it - within the realm of hunting - what would be an innovation, an improvement for a hunter? Someone think of an innovation for a hunter. Audience: (Responses from audience) Ross: Sharper spear. Are we using these microphones? Okay, an M-16 - not an M-16. Audience: (Laughter from audience) Ross: Okay. That's quite a - sharper spear, right? Because the spear would do more damage to the game animal, maybe a better way to sneak up on the animals, better camouflage, okay, traps
Audience: (Laughter)
Audience: (responses from audience),
Ross: I'm serious. Let me explain to you some of my own personal history here on why I'm doing this work that I do. I used to get my ass kicked on a daily basis when I was younger. I mean really badly. I didn't have the slightest clue as to what to do, I had no confidence, I didn't know what I was up to, and it was a very bad thing for me, very bad time for me. So I understand, I don't care where you are, I don't care if you're a virgin and have never had a woman in your life, or you're a guy who's doing pretty well, but you wants to do better. I've been there. Wherever you've been, whatever you think you're challenge or your problem is, I've either had it myself or I've encountered it in the five years I've been doing this and I've solved it. Okay. We have a technology here that's taking care of all of this, I can think it is, I can promise you that, I can promise you that. But, here's the thing. Here's one of the big mistakes guys will make. I want you to avoid this. Guys will try to use speed seduction for dating. If they're going to try to use speed seduction to get dates and then they'll come climb right back in the same old game and get their butts kicked all over again. Let me give you sort of a metaphor. How many people know how human
Ross: bow and arrow, right. These are all great innovations. But guess what? You're still a hunter. Now, if you're trapped in the hunting mindset, and one day some guy named Ross, caveman Ross, comes up and goes "Ooh, ooh, I found this stuff called seeds and you know what we can do with these? You can plant them in the ground. I've been growing these plants and the animals come and eat the plants and I don't have to hunt. I just go right up to them and slit their throats and I have all the meat I want.” Now, if you were stuck in the hunting mindset, what would you do with those seeds? You'd say, "Oh, I know what I could do with these. I can eat them for energy on the trail when I'm running after the buffalo.” Audience: (Laughter) Ross: Okay. So, I have some incredible seed to give you Audience: (laughter) Ross: and - you've got to watch the gestures, Chris I've got some incredible seed to give you and I want
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you to use it in the right way. Okay? I want you to forget about dating. Dating is for women you are already sleeping with. Okay. Let's say it with me DATING IS FOR WOMEN I AM ALREADY SLEEPING WITH
Audience: (Laughter) Ross: And if you didn't keep it, woe betide you. But that's okay, I liked that. I need someone to keep me honest like that. So, we know something very interesting. We jumped on to this commuter train and all the adults immediately got busy. They all had their faces buried in some kind of reading material. They were businessmen and women reading the financial pages, there were students reading textbooks of various kinds, I saw someone studying a history book and then there was someone working on their mathematics, but all of the adults immediately were preoccupied. Now, sitting directly in front of us was a mother with her young daughter. The kid was maybe four years old - right around your age range, guys
Audience: (audience participation). Ross: One more time - DATING IS FOR WOMEN I AM ALREADY SLEEPING WITH Audience: (audience participation). Ross: Right, okay. Now you think I'm kidding. You think I'm kidding - I'm not. When you get good at these skills, an hour or two over a cup of coffee and she'll be saying - you wouldn't believe what women do when they really want you. Okay.
Audience: (laughter)
Audience: (Laughter)
Ross: and the kid was obviously excited about this trip. She was dressed in her best dress, she had a ribbon in her hair, she was just so excited. And her mother was sitting by the window and this kid was having a fit, going "I want to sit by the window, I want to see, I want to see, I want to see.” So the mother got up and the kid was wide-eyed and glued to the window. And I thought what a great thing. What a great thing to have that ability to look through the window of wonder. And everything you see in front of you is a miracle, everything you see is an opportunity to learn and to be excited and to see something new and interesting and different, to open and expand your mind. And as we made our stops along the way, when the train would pull into a different station, the kid would go, "What's this, what's that?" I was playing games with her. I'd say, "Oh, that's a magic dragon's tail.” It was a piece of paper fluttering. So, we had a really great time and as we were exiting the train, I thought "What a wonderful thing to have that ability to open your mind to wonder, open your mind to a sense that anything could be possible, that everything was new.” And then, as I walked past the engine, I thought, "You know, on the other hand, it's really great to know that there's a very clear-headed, practical-minded engineer running this thing.” Cause I don't want this wonder-eyed kid pulling all the switches. I don't mind if she goes up there and looks, but I don't want her hands on the dials. So, it also very important to, you know, with something like a train, to have a very practical, analytical, practical application mind. But I thought, what a wonderful thing if a person could experience both of those. That's when real learning would take place. And, the thing about trains, I've always liked trains. I remember
Ross: All the same, you know the bullshit mechanism they use to spin excuses? "Well, I'd like to go out with you but my parakeet's having an existential crisis and I caught a tropical disease and I'm shrinking and by midnight I'll be three inches high, and you don't have car restraints to keep me safe at that altitude.” Audience: (Laughter) Ross: The same mechanism works in your favor when they want you. There is a story on the SS list about; I'm trying to think which brother it was whose brother - I can't remember which brother it was. Bohunkus Brother Bohunkus. Okay. That's what he called himself - Bohunkus. He used this stuff on this girl and she wants to go back to his place. So they go back his place. She says, "You know, it's awful hot in here with these jeans. Do you have a pair of shorts I can change into?" He says, "Sure.” He goes to hand her the shorts; she takes off her jeans - no panties. Okay. Puts the shorts on. She says, "I'm feeling kind of tired. Is there a place where we could lie down?" Audience: (Laughter) Ross: I mean all this stuff, okay. So, see it all depends, well let me give you another metaphor. Let me give you a different metaphor. Let me talk to you a minute about trains, because it actually ties in. I was in Boston cause we were doing a seminar in Boston. Remember the Boston seminar, was anyone there? And what happened was, I made a promise to a young lady who I was dating at the time that I would take her to New York City, that we would take the train to New York City because she's never been to New York City, and I promised her and she was one of those kinds of women who would consistently remind you of your promise until you kept it.
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when I was a little kid, we lived pretty close to a rail line. And I could hear them at night. I could hear the whistle going, "Whoo, whoo.” And I would imagine it was a circus train pulling out to go to a new town to entertain, and I thought man, that's really cool. Now, there's all sorts of trains. In World War II they had something called munitions trains. Now, munitions trains were very interesting. They were essentially five miles of target. Okay? And the first no smoking compartment was created for ammunition trains because, you know, they had bombs, and gas and all sorts of things that were highly explosive. And, you know, there are cargo trains of various, different kinds, there are circus trains, and then, there's my favorite kind of train, the bullet train. There's no need to take notes here.
create a new destination and lay some track that works for you. And also consider that if that woman hasn't yet discovered how wonderful and attractive you are, guess what? Simply cause she's on the wrong train of thought. It's your job with speed seduction to put her on the right train of thought. So, with that in mind, let me talk to you about the first rule of speed seduction, the first rule of powerful persuasion of any kind that you want to do. It sound interesting? Audience: (Responses from audience) Ross: By the way, there will be times during the seminar when it's appropriate to take notes. On the other hand, there'll be other times when it's appropriate to look up here. You can take notes right now, this is okay. By the way, this is in the notes that we're going to be handing out. Do we hand out notes this time? They got them? I'll need a set during a break. We'll take frequent breaks, so I don't need it now, I'm cool now. The first rule I want you to get this is profoundly powerful - you can look up here cause I want you to understand it and then you can take notes. This rule is profoundly powerful for any kind of persuasion you want to do, but so important for seduction. That rule is whatever you can get a person to imagine, does everyone have an imagination here, does anyone think they don't have one? I was told by someone, "You can't talk about imagination to engineers.”
Audience: (Laughter) Ross: The bullet train, the bullet train, comes from a country called Japan. Now, the Japanese, to my mind have gotten a very bad rap, a very bad rap. They've gotten a bad rap as being imitators and idea thieves when, in fact, that's not true. In fact, what the Japanese do is, they take what works, they only take what works, from the best of everything and they take the best of what works and that's what they use and that's only what they use and they throw everything that doesn't work out. They put everything that does work together into something that's wonderful. Now here's the cool thing about bullet trains. Your average, normal train does maybe 60-65 miles an hour tops, maybe 70. Bullet trains can do 185, 190 - 200 miles an hour. Now, how do bullet trains work? They actually levitate above the tracks. Bullet trains do not run on the tracks. They're magnetically levitated off the tracks so there is no friction; cause friction is what slows you down. Okay? Now, how many people think a two-mile long train doing 195 miles per hour is levitated? You got to figure it's levitated at least six inches, right, maybe a foot? Uh uh. You know how high they're levitated off the track?
Audience: (Laughter) Ross: Well, engineers have great imaginations. They have to picture all this shit. They've just been taught that they're not imaginative, but in fact they are, okay? That's essentially the Wright Brothers were engineers, and damn good ones. By the way, they're an inspiration of mine. Go get a biography on the Wright Brothers to see all the technical challenges and all the failures and learnings they had to consistently overcome to create an airplane. They were massive. And they were blazing a trail, there was no one going ahead of them. Okay? Whatever you can get a person to imagine will be perceived by that person as being their own thought because they imagined it, and, therefore, they will not resist it. I'll say it again. Whatever you can get a person to imagine will be perceived by that person as being their own thought because they imagine it. Therefore, the first rule in seduction is to capture and lead the woman's imagination using your language. It's in the notes there somewhere, don't worry about it though, you need to be paying attention up here, okay? I'll say it sufficient times and you'll have to plenty of time
Audience: (Responses from audience) Ross: Like a quarter of an inch, a fraction of an inch. Just that much difference in perspective makes such an incredible difference in performance. From friction and problems and to, whew, smooth 195 miles an hour. So, really the most important kind of train that you need to concern yourselves with are trains of thought, because it's your train of thought that determines what destination you're going to reach. And if you've been reaching a destination that's wank-off city it's because the track you're running on doesn't work for you. It's time to pull the switch and
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to write it. But I want to explain it first. Here's the problem with writing as you're listening. You're not really getting the understanding. I'll give you plenty of time to write. I'll want you to really make sure you really understand what I'm saying. Okay? Capture and lead the imagination with your language. Now, that's not such a bizarre idea, its not so untested as you might think. Think about it. It's the basis for political oratory, I mean, may he bum in hell for all time in a pit of feted cement, but Adolf Hitler captured and led the imagination of a nation and made them all go psychotic. Okay? Martin Luther King, a good example, captured the imagination of a group of people, led them to make massive change, okay? Capturing and leading the imagination using language is the basics of political oratory; it's the basis of religious conversion. How many people here have ever seen a really good Southern Baptist tent revivalist preacher? Those boys make me look like a piker. Okay. They are good. Now, I'm not mocking anybody's religion, I'm just talking about the methodology they use to deliver the message and they are real - those of you at home will hear a sound it is me copiously ejaculating - no it's
Audience: (Laughter) Ross: Now, Kraft company, I love your product, I eat it, please don't sue me, but I'm saying you're going to gobble that down and anyone who tries to take it from you, you're going to kill them. And maybe if you see the opportunity to go have some applesauce over there, you'll lie and go, "Kraft macaroni, you're the only one for me - I'll be right back.” Okay? The reason why men behave unethically Audience: (laughter) Ross: well, the reason why men behave unethically and they're dishonest is because they're in conditions of scarcity. Okay? If you're a multibillionaire and a quarter drops out of your pocket, you're not going to go scrabbling and stomping on people to get it. Okay? No one wants to talk about the sexual starvation of men, but I will talk about it. Okay. And it's there primarily because the system that you're given to use to get your sexual satisfaction doesn't work. It's not your fault. If there're people here feeling like utter, abject failures with the dating game, wake up, it's not your fault, the game is rigged against you. Okay? So, the way to get out of all that is to learn to capture and lead the imagination, and that's what all of speed seduction is about. And, see, the AFC, the average frustrated chump, who's still hunting the buffalo, so to speak, is ignoring the seeds of wisdom I want him to swallow, He asking himself questions like, "Where should I take her? How much money should I spend? How should I dress?" The questions I want you to ask is the following question, learn to ask yourself this question and you'll do wonderfully well. The question I want you to learn to ask yourself is, "How is this communication, " I will repeat this three times so you'll have plenty of time to write it down, "How is this communication structured to capture and lead her imagination?" "How is this communication structured to capture and lead her imagination?" You see, part of learning a new set of skills is to learn to think completely differently. What makes speed seduction work is it's so outside the box. Now, for those of you who at first will find this foreign sounding and really strange and different, that's only a measure of how powerful it will be for you. To the extent that is completely different from the way you're used to thinking and you're experiencing some confusion, that's only a sign that it's completely outside of what you've been doing and that's a measure of the results you're going to be getting because it is so different. Okay? If you're used to riding a horse and buggy and I come along and give you a horse with a whip, it's not that much of a
Audience: (laughter) Ross: I'm pouring water, I'm now changing it into jiz no. It's the basis of all good literature. What does a good writer do? He captures and leads your imagination using words. It's the basis of poetry, it's the basis of theater. All I'm doing is coming on and going, "Dumb shits, stop with this dating crap and use something that's been used for thousands of years in other areas. Let me show you how to use it with precision so you can stop all the guesswork. By the way, inevitably when I'm on the radio someone says, "What about relationships, why are you against relationships?" I'm not. But I am against relationships through default because here's what happens for most men. We can all share this in this room because we know it's true for mo st of us at one point in our lives or another. For most men, when we get into a relationship it's because we accidentally found someone who's attracted to us and will let us have our sexual release. Okay? For most men, they don't get into relationships because they have a lot of choice, a lot of opportunity, a lot of power, and they finally met someone who meets all their standards. They get into what I call relationships by default. Okay? They're not in that relationship because they have a lot of choice; they're in there because it's the best they can do. It's like you're starving in the desert and someone drops you a frozen package of Kraft macaroni and cheese.
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difference. If I put you into a Testarosa, okay, it's a big difference and you're going to be confused by the controls, but you'll go a fuck of a lot faster. And you won't have to put up with the stench, okay? All right? I teach a lot of metaphors and I'm vulgar cause I like it. So, this is a very important question to learn to ask yourself. So instead of thinking, "Where am I going to take her on the next. no, how is this communication structured to capture and lead her imagination? Now, a couple of things about the language patterns. These are some understandings I want you get, and you don't need to write this down, this is something you'd understand. Another problem that guys typically have is they; they view the patterns as something from Mars. When you first, and we'll being going through at least half a dozen patterns here word for word, when guys hear the patterns, they go, "Ross, this sounds so strange, so foreign. Have you ever felt an incredible connection with someone? You know that click, right there, that just makes you feel totally drawn to this person. I mean, Ross, that sounds so goofy, that sounds fruity, it sounds gay, it sounds completely outside the realm of anything human. Where did you get this stuff' I was talking to Brother Covey who's one of my marketing consultants and I said, "You know, if I'd told people I'd channeled this from a ten thousand year old alien from planet Bogo, I'd probably get ten times the number of people in my seminar.” Look, I didn't just make the patterns up out of thin air. I got them from observing how women think and speak in any case. And I them from observing the natural processes of how things happen. This is another point I want you to get. There's no such thing as love, there's no such thing as attraction, there's no such thing as seduction. And I know for many of you, you're saying, "That's just the problem, Ross, there's no such thing for me, they're just playing with Mr. Winky.”
locked into your thinking that it becomes impossible to think outside that box unless you run into a maniac like me who hammers you really hard for three days. Think about it. Well, I wasn't attracted; she wasn't attracted to me. What does that imply? It implies that attraction is just a thing that is either there or it is not, or it implies that attraction is like porridge in an orphanage - you're only doled out so much on your plate and the best you can do is go, "Please, sir, I want some more.” And maybe you get a little bit more, but usually you don't. Okay. Attraction is not a thing; it is a process with a structure that takes place in the human mind and body. This is a primary understanding for those of you who want to learn NLP, that everything that happens to and with humans has a structure and a process. If you understand the structure and process, then you can recreate it at will - for the most part. Do you understand?
Audience: (Laughter)
Audience: (Response from audience)
Ross: Now here's what I mean. When I say there's no such thing as attraction, there's no such thing as confidence, there's no such thing as love, I'm not saying that people don't experience these. What I'm saying is they're not things like a glass or a magic marker. Now, I know those of you who are metaphysicians will say, "Well, Ross, these aren't really things anyway, they're just an ongoing key to the logical process in the intellect of human existence, " in which case I'll slap you in the face very hard.
Ross: That's right, okay, so. These patterns are not designed to get man hot and horny, although I've had some weird fan mail lately.
Audience: (Response from audience) Ross: Now, so another mistake guys will make with speed seduction is they think the patterns, so the first mistake is they think the patterns are stuff I've made up out of thin air, and they're not. Okay. Second mistake they make is, they think because if someone talked to them that way, they won't respond well, that women won't respond well. Okay? How many people here have ever gone fishing? What did you bait your hook with? Audience: (Responses from audience) Ross: Worms. Do you like to eat worms? You don't? What do you like to eat? Audience: (Response from audience) Ross: Why didn't you bait the hook with a baked potato?
Audience: (Laughter) Ross: By the way, people say, "Why don't you teach with more reverence and seriousness? Don't you know ...” Cause then I'd have your fucking voice in my head and be a miserable, dried up old shrew. Audience: (Laughter)
Audience: (Laughter)
Ross: Then it wouldn't be fun to teach. I mean, if I can't offend people, what's the point?
Ross: But my point is, watch how language affects you. I mean, the presupposition of our culture is so
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Audience: (Laughter)
Ross: Who doesn't get that? I'm not saying do you believe you can go out and do that right now, but I'm saying hypothetically, theoretically, that's what the patterns really do. If I'm telling you the truth, if the people who are in this room who have used them will get up and tell their stories are telling you the truth, without exaggeration, if the patterns really can lead a woman into feeling really incredible things that no one else can make her feel, are you hurting her, should you feel guilty or scared or bad or like a beggar?
Ross: Someone who I'm deeply flattered and honored to have as an admirer of mine said that Ross is gotta be doing okay cause he's offending so many people, so. Anyway, so, you have to understand these patterns are not designed to appeal to men, they're designed to appeal of women, and if you don't think they have an appeal to women, I have an assignment for you, which is go to your bookstore and go to the romance novel section and watch how many of those puppies go out the door. Okay? Romance novels Major Mark will come in and to you about. By the way, Major Mark will be here a little bit later. What a dedicated guy. He cut short his honeymoon to come and teach you guys. What do you think about that? Major Mark, Major Mark, Major Mark.
Audience: (Response from audience) Ross: Okay, I'm telling you that that's what the patterns do do - ha _____ do do, yeah. Wow, wow, that was cool, _____ do do. Audience: (Laughter)
Audience: (Applause)
Ross: Someone's going to say, "Ross, was that a phonetic ambiguity you were using in an attempt to create a negative anchor for people to move away from when you said do do?"
Ross: Pretty cool, pretty neat, pretty good. I was at his in a tuxedo, it was amazing. I was being blatant, just absolutely blatant, with this stuff. So, anyway. Well, I knew I'd never go back to Toledo, Ohio, for Christ sake.
Audience: (Laughter)
Audience: (Laughter)
Ross: Cause, I notice you sort of like scratched your ass when you did that. Well that's because I have 72 open anchors here and I've set them and this is one.
Ross: So, anyway. The third major mistake you can make with these patterns is to use them as a high-tech form of begging, is to view them as a shield you put in front of you - Gary, how are you? To use them as a shield you put in front of yourself, okay? "Oh, please, beautiful fox. You can accept me now cause I have these language patterns. Ha, ha, ha.” Okay. If you view the patterns as just a high-tech form of begging, they'll have no power, or very limited power. You have to use them with the right attitude. Understand something. I want you guys to get this. Just, let's play Let's Pretend. Let's play What if Okay? Can we play What if for a minute?
Audience: (Laughter) Ross: No, my fucking ass itched, you know. You know people who teach NLP, you know what, they're human beings, a lot of them are fucked up egomaniacs, I plead guilty. Okay? So, don't go out of here ... Audience: (Laughter) Ross: I do. Listen, I'm just a guy who, I'll tell you the truth. I swear to you, I thank the universe, my higher power, whatever you want to call it, every day for the gift of being able to teach this and to learn this stuff. I feel profoundly blessed in this room. You have no, really, truly, you have no idea. That's one thing with all my skills I could not convey to you, But, so those are the ways to screw it up. Now the final way to screw it up, so I'm giving you, if you want to screw it up and make a mess of it, I'm giving you the formula on how to do it. The final way to screw it up is to have unrealistic expectations, on yourself. It takes time to learn this and the way to learn it is piece by piece. You do one little piece every day and then you add on a bit the next day and the next day. If you lust after results, you're going to fuck yourself up. Okay? You want to give yourself an opportunity to learn this at a pace that's a little bit uncomfortable. You want to
Audience: (Response from audience) Ross: What if what I'm teaching is really true? What if the patterns really do lead a woman into feeling absolutely wonderful things in her body, in her heart, visualizing amazing things, feeling all the things she's always dreamed of feeling. What if, with your language and language alone and your attitude, you really can, make her feel things that no other guy can make her feel? If you really can do that, do you have to approach her with a fearful, begging mindset? Audience: (Response from audience) Ross: Who's doing whom the favor in that case? Audience: (Response from audience)
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push outside of your comfort zone a little bit, but not too much. And you must be willing to fuck it up. I have said this over and over and over again and I'll say it again. The difference between winners and losers is that losers don't fail often enough, or they fall in the same way over and over and over again. Winners fail in different ways and often enough so that they can learn to do what they need to do to make things work. Now, the reason why I'm standing up here and you're not is cause I have fucked it up ten times more than all of you put together. I still go and fuck it up, even though I know what works, I'll try something new just to see if I can push the envelope a little farther. I have no problem with it. I will call, I will go on to listen, go ahead guys I tried this and it failed miserably, what do you think? Am I lying?
in this game too long. He called me up, and he said, "You know, I've got your home study course and this and that course, but I'm having trouble memorizing the patterns. I think I learn better visually. What video tape course do you have that you would recommend? Cause I'm really having trouble memorizing the patterns.” I said, "No you're not.” I said, "It's not that you're having trouble memorizing them, " I said, "you haven't gone out and tried a single one, have you?" He said, "No, how did you know that?" I said, "You don't want to memorize better, you want a guarantee that you'll do it absolutely flawlessly without fucking it up in any way in the real world - and that's impossible. What you need instead of a guarantee is a willingness to screw it up a little bit. I guarantee you, you're going to trip over your dick the first few times.” Okay? Nothing to honk at.
Audience: (Response from audience)
Audience: (Laughter from audience - horn honking in background)
Ross: Not at all. I have no problem with going, "Hey tried that, didn't fucking work, what do you guys think? What should I do differently?" Okay? You must have the willingness. There's a difference between will and willingness. Can anyone tell me who's not a current student, someone who hasn't already heard this before? Can anyone tell me what the difference is between will and willingness? Take a stab at it.
Ross: That's called utilization. Ross, when you gaze that way, you tilted your head at a certain angle. Was that an analog mark to Audience: (Laughter) Ross: Yes, that one, that one there. I'm gonna get lectured for doing that, but that's alright. Why don't we take a five minute break.
Audience: (Response from audience)
BREAK
Ross: Can we hear him with these microphones? Is there someone who should be putting a microphone in his face? Should he be standing there, who's doing that?
Ross: I thought of one other area where people can fuck up with this, and that is, I guess way to illustrate this is to tell you a story. I knew someone who lived down in Kentucky and they wanted to learn how to drive,
Audience: "Willingness is being able to and will is having it your way.”
VOICES IN BACKGROUND
Ross: I think that's pretty close. Will, to me, implies that you're stealing yourself, you're making yourself ready to take that blow, okay? Like G. Gordon Liddy holding the flame under his hand, you know, to prove what a man he is. Something wrong with that formula. I remember when I was a kid we used to have punch in the arm contests. Well, if you're a man, you can really take it. I go, "You win.” You know.
Ross: so they went to their grandpa. They said, "Grandpa, what's the most important thing in driving?" And Grandpa said, "Well, the most important thing in driving is that you always check your instruments and make sure the car isn't overheating.” So they promptly climbed in the car and were driving like this and _____ !!!
Audience: (Laughter)
Audience: (Laughter)
Ross: No, to me a man who outsmarted the other guy. He's walking around with a big, sore, fucking, throbbing arm and I'm skipping along the playground having fun. To me, will implies that boy that you're going to have to grit your teeth, but willingness is more of relaxed openness, that you're willing to pay the price. I had someone call me up and, I know when students are bullshitting me, so don't try it I've been
Ross: Now, about six weeks later, after they were out of the hospital, they went to their uncle. They said, "Uncle, what's the most important thing to know about driving?" The uncle said, "Always drive the posted speed limit.” So they jumped on the freeway and right in the middle of morning rush hour, they were doing 65. _____ !! So after they scraped them off the roadway, a couple of years later when they
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were able to take another crack at it, they went to the wise relative and they said, "What's the most important thing to do when driving?" And the person said, "Pay fucking attention and drive as conditions permit you to do so safety.” Okay. Now. People say to me, "Ross, I tried the pattern exactly the way you told me to and it didn't work.” No, no, no, listen to me. The patterns are not rules. The patterns are only examples of the kinds of communication that you want to be doing. Here's another key to understanding. Remember the key to understanding? I said there's a difference between getting a woman to submit and getting a woman to surrender? Just very briefly, let me touch on something else. It's what I call - Major Mark taught me this - another great hurrah for Major Mark. Major Mark.
But they're not rules, only examples. Do you understand me? Audience: (Responses from audience) Ross: Are they examples that will work for you? But they're only examples. That's why when we go through them, I'm going to show you how I thought them up and how they work so you can make up your own. Do you get it? Audience: (Responses from audience) Ross: I know some people are sitting here thinking "Is it important that I memorize all the patterns word for word". Well, it's important to memorize at first, at first, but then what you will find yourself doing is making up your own stuff. That's what I want you to do. When you can come back and show me something I haven't made up, I jump for joy. That great cause I can go out and steal it.
Audience: (Responses from audience) Ross: I won't encourage him to talk more about this, but Major Mark taught me a word. The word is compartmentalization. Compartmentalization. Now let me tell you what this means. It's not that women aren't as sexual as we are. Women are equally sexual creatures, but they're sexual in a different way. Men, our sexuality is always there, it's always present. We can be doing something and a beautiful babe walks by and sproing we want to spray our seed. Okay? To be crude about it. Women have sexual thoughts as often as we do, but they compartmentalize them in a different part of their mind. Our sexuality is diffused all throughout our thinking, our breathing, our moving, you know. Men will basically stick it in a tree stump if they had to. Well, okay. It wasn't exactly a tree stump. Was it a bush or a tree stump?
Audience: (Laughter) Ross: I don't mean steal it to sell it. I mean steal it to use it with women. Notice I didn't say on women, I said with women. The patterns are not something you do to a woman. Some of you still, I mean, I had a guy say, "Ross, you know, I practiced. When I want to go out in the real world, I just can't do it.” I said, "I know, cause you think the patterns, running patterns with a woman, is sort of like doing a minor crime, like picking her pocket or stealing her watch or grabbing her ass.” He went, "Yeah, how did you know that?" Cause I've been doing this a long time. Okay? I've been doing it a long time. Yes, you have a question - you're scratching your head.
Audience: (Laughter)
Audience: Would you give a brief definition of what is a pattern for the newcomers?
Ross: But anyway, ha ha ha, my point is, my point is this. My point is this - that women's sexual thoughts tend to be locked away in a different compartment in their mind. So here's the thing I want you to understand. There are different places in a woman's mind. There's the place where she thinks about the mundane, ordinary, day-to-day shit that she has to get out of the way, like doing her laundry, like taking her car to the mechanic, like paying her bills. The problem when you're a dater is usually you get stuck into that part of her mind, something she has to get rid of or take care of. You get it?
Ross: A pattern is a language construct you use to create a specific state of mind in that woman. For example, you want her to feel fascinated, so you use the fascination pattern. You want her to get horny, you use the blowjob pattern. Okay? Whatever it is. The pattern is a language construct that you use to create a mindset, a certain emotional state or state of mind in that woman. Okay? Yes sir, you have a question? Audience: By language construct, do you mean like a series or combinations of phrases, words? Ross: Yes, exactly right, exactly right. You got it. Okay? Now, notice I said something there in answering your question. This brings up another interesting point. I said state of mind. Okay? Understand, there's a key to understanding this, and that is altered states of
Audience: (Responses from audience) Ross: But the patterns are examples of the kinds of communication that open up that other part of her mind -that part where she puts her sexual thoughts and fantasies and romantic ideas. You understand.
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consciousness. Write down altered states. Now, all of you have been subjected to some very serious mind programming when it comes to the subject of altered states. When I say altered states of consciousness, what imagery comes into your mind, what thoughts come into your mind, when I say altered states, what do you think of, what do you picture?
many here have a highly technical job that requires a lot of focus and quick thinking? What do you do sir? You, yeah you. Audience: Computer programming. Ross: Okay. Computer programming.
Audience: (Response from audience)
Yates: This is the end of side one.
Ross: Drugs. What else? Audience: (Response from audience) Ross: Horror movies. What else? Audience: (Response from audience) Ross: Timothy Leary. Audience: (Laughter and response) Ross: Flotation chamber. Hysteria. Orgasm. That is an altered state, isn't it? For the most part, were programmed to view altered states as something to avoid. And throughout human history, authorities have attempted to control altered states. Churches have told you any other altered state but praying within the walls of their church is evil, wrong, bad, and a thing of Satan. Audience: (Laughter) Ross: By the way, to borrow a joke from Richard Bandler, a people said, "Ross, you're in league with the devil.” "Well, I'm not in league with him, but I have worked for him on occasion.” Audience: (Laughter) Ross: I don't steal jokes, I give full credit to the big guy for that. That's his. I don't know about you guys, but I'm already having way too much fun. Hello John. John: Hey. Ross: Good to see you. John is one of our terror students. He's really good. Audience: (Responses) Ross: So altered states of consciousness, altered states are really neutral. You can use altered states in a good way. Okay? Now I'm here to tell you that a lot of speed seduction has to do with what altered state you want to design for yourself and what altered state you want to design for that woman. Now let me give you an example. Pay attention up here and ignore him. Let me give you an example of altered states of consciousness. Here's something you should understand. Beautiful women put men into altered states of consciousness. You can take a guy how
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attractive you found her, the more charming, the more intuitive, the more creative you were around her. Would that be great?
Tape 1 – Side 2 Yates: This is Side 2 of the Ross Jeffries Basic Speed Seduction Seminar.
Audience: Yes. Ross: And what if when you approached her, she picked up on that energy so instead of her altered state being one of terror, her altered state was one of hmmm, this guy's cool, I've got to find out more about him. Would that be cool?
Ross: Here's something you should understand. Beautiful women put men into altered states of consciousness. You can take a guy - how many here have a highly technical job that requires a lot of focus and quick thinking? What do you do sir? You, yeah you.
Audience: Yes. Ross: No, it wouldn't be cool? Well, you're not answering.
Audience: Computer programming. Audience: (Laughter) Ross: Okay. Computer programming. You need to make - Hello Brother Amy - they'll leave you alone. Come on and sit down. Okay. So. When you're doing your computer programming job, you have to think really clearly, don't you? Yeah, but if you took a Penthouse Pet in a thong bikini, they put lee on her nipples, they've rubbed her down with oil so she's glistening as her taught, muscular body walks by. Okay? Would you be able to focus and concentrate?
Ross: I'm gonna zap you. Okay. So. Does this all make sense? Audience: Yes. Ross: No, someone said no? Okay. Understand, I'm not asking can you do this now. I'm simply saying does it make sense. Do you see how different this is from the dating mindset? Audience: Yes.
Audience: I probably make a lot of software with a lot of bugs in it.
Ross: We used to do it, I don't do it anymore, but, you know, we used to do a contest. The contest was who spent the most money on a woman and gotten nowhere, gotten nothing.
Ross: Yeah, okay. Audience: (Laughter) Ross: So, my point is this. What happens is beautiful women tend to put men in a state of sputtering, mindless lust. Just as an illustration here, I brought a metronome. This is a really good tool that everyone should buy. I got it at a music store, okay? Here's usually the speed at which you speak, which is an average looking woman. And here's the speed at which you speak if she's somewhat attractive. Here's the speed at which you speak if she like an utter ultra babe. And here's what happens when she's a goddamn goddess.
Audience: (Laughter) Ross: So, I'll open the bidding with about $350. Can anyone top that? Who spent more than that? Come on, fess up. Brother Phoenix, have much have you spent and gotten nowhere? Phoenix: I'd have to say about $5, 000. Ross: $5, 000? Who, who was she, what was the circumstance? Phoenix: It was a dancer who was also a Playboy girl, or Playboy Bunny at one of the Clubs, and when I was younger and had lots of money, wined, dined her, flew her places, never got anything.
Audience: (Laughter) Ross: You're flat-lined. Your brain waves are gone. So granted that you're gonna go into an altered state. Why not, why not design in the altered state you're going to go in to. What if you could go into an altered state that had maybe a little bit of lust, just to keep you motivated, but also had a massive amount of clarity, cockiness, intuition, having really great intuition, creativity, fun, playfulness. What if you could design in the altered state of consciousness you were going to go into such that the more
Ross: Did you get a warm handshake goodnight? Phoenix: The most I ever got was a kiss on the cheek. Ross: Oh, you didn't even get the old warm handshake, huh? Wow, okay. So, you know, we won't have to worry about any of that. Now, loser, no - who said that? Audience: (Laughter)
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Ross: Who said that? Bad boy. He said loser, oh, no, no, no, no.
Ross: That okay with you? I don't care if it's okay with you or not, cause that's what we're going to be doing. All right, any questions so far?
Audience: Ex-loser.
Audience: No
Ross: Ex-loser.
Ross: You having fun yet?
Audience: (Laughter and applause)
Audience: Yes
Audience: ... if the walls could talk.
Ross: Good. Man, we're going fast. All right. Couple more big chunk pieces and then we'll be ready to go. We'll get to actual patterns, weasel phrases, trance words, all that other good stuff, Yes sir.
Ross: Ali. Hi, my name is Bob and I'm a wankaholic. Audience: (Laughter) Ross: Hi, Bob. Keep coming back- it works. Well, if it works, why do you have to keep coming back? Uh, I don't know, never mind. Okay. Now, I'm going to e-mail, I'm going to get mail from AA, shit, that's all I need. Okay, so. We're almost ready to get to the meat of the seminar. There are basically, there are three parts to speed seduction that we're going to be teaching you. Throughout the weekend we'll be going back and forth through all of these. Your state, designing your altered state of consciousness that you want to be in. The seductive language that lets you capture and lead her imagination and third piece of speed seduction, which to me is the most important, actually, and the most difficult to design. This of all the, I think, of all the challenges I personally face, this is the most difficult. And this is an example of how its continued to grow, the conversational frameworks that let you do all this and make it sound like an ordinary, normal, innocent conversation. This is very important. You know, you want to be able to Now I know some trainers who have some good level of skill at teaching language and languaging and language patterns, but they conveniently leave this out. Now, they may be very impressive in the seminar room. They can get you up here and do all sorts of great language patterning, but the problem is what works in the seminar room may not work in the real world. Why? Because the presupposition of being in the seminar is you're there to cooperate with the instructor. Okay. If you walk up to someone without the right conversational framework outside of the seminar room and start eliciting their values or whatever without any of the right introduction or conversational framework, they're going to look at you like you're fucking Charlie Manson. Or they won't know how to respond simply because they don't know what you're talking about. Okay. This is a very important piece and throughout the weekend we're going to be going/alternating back and forth between these three things. Does that make sense?
Audience: Are you going to indicate what is in the notes and what we need to write? Ross: I'll tell you when to write, okay? I'll tell you when to write. There's going to be so much repetition that you'll get this whether you write it or don't. The important thing to me is not do you write it but do you understand it. And they are going to be certain things, in fact, there are going to be certain points in the day where I'll say, "Okay, stop, pick a partner and explain to him what Ross just said. Go teach your partner what Ross just said.” The way to prove to yourself that you really got it is if you can explain it to somebody else. So, there will be points during the day where I'll go, "Tell this person the most important rule for persuasion and why it's important.” So, don't worry about it. My answer is don't worry about it, but if I need to you write, I'll tell you specifically you should be writing. Otherwise, don't write. Okay? Does that answer your question? Audience: Yes. Ross: Good. Does it? Audience: Yes. Ross: Okay. Alright. Don't get mad at me, I'm just trying to help. Yeah. Audience: (Laughter) Ross: You going to act impotent, you going to be impotent. Just for a wee bit. Audience: (Laughter) - That's why I don't act impotent. Ross: Good. Actually, Kim came up with a really terribly terrific impotence pattern. I don't want her doing that on me. She's ready to use it on any of you guys who try to _____ her, so leave her alone. Okay. I want to talk about the four doorways into any woman's mind. There are basically four doorways and the patterns I will teach you I will say, "This pattern is good for this doorway.” Now, I know, you're going to
Audience: Yes.
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go, "Ross, what doorway should I use?" Well, if you want to be able to get so much flexibility in your conversation that you can experiment with different ones. Okay? And, by the way, they're not in any particular order, it's not like molecular element 10, 11, 12, 13. This is just the order in which I choose to write them down, okay? For all you literal minded ... okay. Doorway number one is the doorway of emotional connections. If you get a woman feeling emotionally connected, feeling strong, deep, positive emotions, connected to you. Okay? An example of that kind of pattern would be incredible connection, which we will go through, word for word. Okay. That's a very common doorway. For a lot of women, they will have sexual feelings but in order to feel comfortable with those sexual feelings, they have to feel this before they act on it. They want to feel some kind of emotional connection. Okay? Not like us. The second doorway is getting her visualizing. Okay. If you can get her to visualize scenes of terrific sex or you know, fantasies, that sort of thing, you get it?
representations, like, they say Ross: How long do you have to think about it to answer the question? Audience: Well, not very long, but you could turn around and associate that question with ... Ross: But I didn't. I simply said, "What's your favorite color, Amy?" Audience: I have ... Ross: Purple, purple, right? Green? Right? Blue and Ross. Audience: (Laughter) Ross: We're done. Okay. But if I said to you, but if I said to you, "What's important to you about running track?" then you have to think deeper, don't you? Okay, that's what I mean. She's being feisty and challenging now. I like that, good. You get this? So everything we're doing, that we're going to teach you in this seminar is designed to get into these doorways. Now, here's the thing, here's the principle I want you to get; this is very important. Very few people, very few people know how to feel good on a consistent basis, and even when they do, it's not a very juicy good. Do we have lights here that fade? Let me use this illustration. Those of you at home listening, you're just going to have to imagine this. We have some lights in the room that don't just turn on and off, you can make them brighter or dimmer, okay? These are the lights that do it? Look at these little phony lights here, okay? All right?
Audience: Yes. Ross: And, a lot of the patterns partake in this. There's not, I don't know if there's one, per se, that's only that. Number three is body sensations. Now what do I mean by body sensations? I mean a feeling of warmth flowing through her chest, the feeling of her heart pounding with excitement, that sort of thing, okay? Do you get it? Audience: Yes. Ross: And, finally, the final doorway is asking questions, asking questions, that require her to access the core level of her identity to answer you. Asking her questions that require her to access the core level of her identify in order to answer you. Now, we're going to be demonstrating this throughout the weekend. This is basically eliciting her values. Now let me give you an example, just very briefly. I'm not going to do this pattern now, but just as a really quick illustration, if I said to a woman, "What's your favorite color?" She says, "Blue.” Does that really require her to access who she is at a deep level of her identity?
Audience: (Laughter) Ross: Very few people know how to feel good on a consistent basis. They feel good when something happens to them. But even if they do, they're feeling good is like that. Maybe they're doing one of these four things. But if you can get someone feeling emotional connections and feeling great body sensations and visualizing amazing things and feeling in touch with the core of their identity, then you've got their neurology doing that, and that's what commonly known as being in love, okay? The neurology cannot associate the difference between and being madly in love with someone. Okay? So you want to be careful, because you can, you're playing with fire here, you're playing with nuclear energy. You get it?
Audience: No. Ross: Some people didn't answer. Who didn't answer that question? Audience: No. Ross: Does anyone disagree with that or not understand? You think asking what you favorite color is requires you to go into the core level of your identity to answer?
Audience: Yes. Ross: And you can look at different combinations of patterns as different atom bomb designs, you know,
Audience: Well, because colors have different
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the fat man or the little boy, or you can just look at them as different combinations of patterns. I've got this sick, corny attraction to nuclear weapons, so, that's how I look at it.
Ross: I'll tell you what really fascinates me about that is they took the most abstract principles of physics, the most abstract ideas about matter and energy and they translated it into an actual, physical object that worked. To me, that's magical. Forget about what they did, it's a horrible weapon, but, fact is, they did something very magical there, very magical. That's what we need, we need that kind of thought processing ability to solve the problems of the world.
that just didn't, it just sssss, but on the other hand, have you ever felt an incredible connection with someone? I really don't know if you can imagine this as I describe it but, you know that sense that just feeling totally drawn, totally fascinated, okay. Now the pattern itself is not important, but do you see how I led into it? Okay. So, you use stories and descriptions, because people don't resist those. Something about the unconscious that I will teach you, this is a very powerful lesson in any kind of persuasion. The unconscious does not recognize content. The unconscious recognizes form and structure. Let me tell you what I mean by that. Listen very carefully. Everyone knows the way stories start. How do stories usually start?
Audience: (Response from audience)
Audience: (Responses from audience)
Ross: Yeah, it's alchemy. Yes sir.
Ross: Once upon a time or a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away, okay. What does that mean when someone says a long time, and George Lucas knew what he was doing? When they say a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away, what part of your mind are they turning off?
Audience: (Laughter)
Audience: (Question from audience) Ross: So, I want to start by looking at some of the basic building blocks of speed seduction which are weasel phrases and trance words and those sorts of things. You see, the way it works, the way we start to capture and lead the imagination is we use stories and descriptions. We use stories and descriptions. Now, why it wouldn't it work ... Amy is at a party. Why can't I just go up to Amy and instead of doing the fascination pattern, why can't I just say, "Amy, in a moment you're going to become totally fascinated with me.” Everything else will fade away and just my face and my voice will totally enrapture you, and you will find my voice penetrating deep inside who you are on the count three. One, two, three (snap of fingers)" If someone walked up to you at a party and said that, what would you do?
Audience: Conscious. Ross: They're turning off the critical faculty and what part are they telling to turn on? Audience: Responses from audience Ross: That's right. Okay, cause the mind, the unconscious recognizes form, not content, so if you present something in a certain format, the unconscious goes, "Okay, time to turn off the critical faculty and absorb everything.” This is very profound, this is why we resist advertising, cause we become so used to it we know it's designed to influence and we shut off, okay? So, descriptions and stories are far more powerful than just telling someone, "You're going to feel this right now.” Ah, shit, I have to feel like such a jackass, you know? So, that's the vehicle that we're going to use to do this, stories and descriptions. Now, there's no difference between a profound and accurate description and a powerful set of directions. Descriptions and stories, when done properly, will be accepted by the unconscious as directions, but the unconscious will not resist it. Do you get it?
Audience: I'd think they're nuts. Ross: You'd think they're fucking nuts, exactly. You'd flee, you know. So, the thing is this. Stories and descriptions are the vehicles we use to install states of consciousness in people, because, there are a couple of different reasons for this. First of all, you tend not to resist a story. If instead I walked up to Amy and said, "You know what I think is really interesting about parties, is to watch to see who's not connecting and who's really connecting.” I mean, you ever been to a party and you didn't really know anyone, so rather than trying to meet people, you just sat back and watched people? You ever do that kind of thing? And, you know, I think even though you may not know the people, you can tell if they're really connecting or not. You know what I mean? I mean, I'm sure you've experienced that. You ever met someone
Audience: Yes. Ross: Okay? So, this is what we're going to do. Now, weasel phrases are the specific little pieces we use to start this out. Now, there are all sorts of weasel phrases. Those of you who have your Secrets of Speed Seduction home study course workbook will
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find them in here, but I'm going to go through some of them right now. Weasel phrases are used to start this process running. Now, one of my favorite weasel phrases is "If you were to ...” Let's look at this phrase. You're going to see this throughout the patterns I teach you, you're going to see this occurring again and again and again. So, this is the first little piece I want you all to get. ”If you were to ... What does it mean when I say, "If you were to think about the kind of man you really are attracted to" what am I saying there? I'm not, if you, if you were to imply, and I'm not really asking you to do it, so you don't have to resist it. You get it?
or d?" It can be f u c k for all I care. Audience: Laughter Ross: These are just, these are just symbols. Do you get it? Audience: Yes Ross: Okay, so if you were to. Now, I'm going to show you some of the more popular ones. This one is really good at getting away from supplicating. ”It's too bad you can't ... , it's too bad you can't x, y, z. It's too bad you can't" Now, what is "It's too bad you can't" do? It creates a challenge, okay. Remember, here's a guide to being incredibly successful with women. This is important for you to understand and then write down, so look up here. Never supplicate, never bully, instead, instead, instead, what you have to do is structure opportunities and offer challenges, structure opportunities and offer challenges. And here's a good way to do it with you language. ”It's too bad you can't ...” Okay? Here's another weasel phrase I really like. ”If I were to ...” What is "If I were to … imply? Yates, you have a set of flash cards I can look at? Cause that makes it easy to go through. No, okay. At a break. Okay, "If I were to" what does that imply?
Audience: Yes. Ross: That's why I call it a weasel phrase cause like a weasel coated with Vaseline, it just slips past any resistance. Instead of saying directly, "I command you to think of the kind of man you're attracted to" I say "If you were to ...” You get it? Audience: Yes. Ross: So, say it with me. ”If you were to ...” Audience: If you were to Ross: And then what you do is, you add in the process you want them to undergo. So, if you were to x or y or z, where x, y and z equals the process you want them to undergo. So, let's say we wanted a woman to get very aroused and feel horny, how would we use this? Someone take a stab at it. Yes Sir.
Audience: Response from audience. Ross: Exactly. I'm not really doing it. Yes. Audience: I was watching a movie the other night, Indecent Proposal, and Robert Redford said something along the lines of "Suppose, for example, I were to offer you a million dollars" to the woman he wanted.
Audience: You'd probably say, "If you were to get very aroused and horny ...” Ross: Right. Exactly. That simple. Now, we're going to put some changes in there, we're not going to, you now, you understand, but that's how you do it. So, here's what you do, here's how this works. You think to yourself, "What is the process I want them to undergo, " and you write that process out, so "feel real horny, become totally fascinated.” "If you were to become totally fascinated with a person, would you act on it right away, or would you let that urge build and build and build?"
Ross: Yeah. Exactly. He wanted to sleep with the woman, he said, "Suppose I were to ... if I were to offer you a million dollars" It's not like he really was. One of the things that "if I were to" allows you to do is it allows you to test a person's boundaries. ”If I were to say to you I want to tongue your beaver till you scream for mercy, would you beg me to start or would you run away?" Audience: Laughter
Audience: Processes
Ross: Okay, it's like, I didn't say that. Now, you can put it in quotes. You can go "I can't believe how rude some men are.” A guy walked up to a woman in a bar and said, "If I were to tongue your beaver till you scream for mercy" or "If I were to say to you I want to tongue your beaver till you scream for mercy, would you run away or open your legs and go ‘Get going, big boy. ’"
Ross: Someone's going to yell, "Why can't it be a, b, c
Audience: Laughter.
Audience: (Laughter) Ross: Okay? Okay, if you were to x or y or z. . Now, am I actually telling you to say x or y or z? Audience: No. Ross: What are x or y or z represent?
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Ross: So, with any of these, you can put them in quotes. You can, I'm serious. You can put it in quotes and say, "I can't believe what someone said. I was in a bar and this person said" So, you can put it all in quotes. Now, what's the purpose of quotes? Remember what I said. Ask yourself what is the tool designed to do? What is the tool designed to do? What's the purpose of quotes? If you put something in quotes, what does it let you do?
pissing on a sacred obligation. Yes sir. I'm not kidding about that. Audience: Talking about testing, do you test with, when I began with Yodi, if you were to say, "Would you like to come with me" or hear, do you like look for an unconscious response or? Ross: Okay, let's talk about something. I understand what you're asking, but the most important thing about what you're asking is something else. You said, he talking about phonetic ambiguity, which we'll get to. Everything in a sense is a test if you're observing for your response. If you're focused on the other person, watching for a response, anything you do is a test. Do you understand?
Audience: Distances yourself Ross: It distances yourself from it, cause you're not saying it. What else does it let you do? Audience: Response from audience Ross: It lets you test boundaries, it lets you test to see if someone's ready. So, you're there having coffee and everything and you go, "You know, I know some crude man at this point in the evening will look at you and say 'I'd like to bang you till your head gets a welt on top of it right now. ’" You know, forgive me.
Audience: Yes Ross: But, you said something unconscious response. That's jargon. One thing I want to steer you away from is jargon, okay? I know, there are people who are looking at the 89 non-linear variables that make up NLP. I'm going, "What the fuck you talking about? Take an enema and try again.” Okay? Audience: Laughter.
Audience: Laughter Ross: "Can you believe, can you imagine doing that kind of thing all night long?"
Ross: Unconscious response, you know, just implies that you're not getting this. I want a response that's so strong you can be Helen Keller and see it. Okay? All this stuff about "Watching for unconscious responses by looking at it, what if the, you have to look at the third quadrant of the upper eye to see if it shifts color a little bit.” Well, if you have to look that hard, start again and try to generate a more powerful response. Okay? Yes. But, watching for responses, unconscious or otherwise, is the most important thing. We're going to give you an exercise to do later in getting that. Okay? So, "If you were to, it's too bad you can't, if I were to". Let's go through some more of these. Thank you, Yates, by the way, for getting that for me. You having fun so far?
Audience: Laughter Ross: And if you see her go, if you see her go (showing audience), Audience: Laughter Ross: That's You say, "You know, I have to go look at apartments. Would you like to come with me?" and then take her back to yours, okay? Audience: Laughter Ross: But, I'm serious. But if you see her going, "Uh-huh" you know, then you know, "Of course, I know a woman with class like you requires a much gentler approach.” Okay. So, what are quotes. Everything I show you, the key to getting it and to remembering it is understanding what it's designed to do. So, what are quotes designed to do? Say it with me.
Audience: Yes Ross: Oh, I like this. I like this one. I like this one. ”You really shouldn't ...” Well, what does "You really shouldn't ...” imply?
Audience: Distance yourself
Audience: That she's going to
Ross: And
Ross: It means you're going to. Okay? I don't say to you, "You really shouldn't go kick a polar bear in the nuts" cause you're not going to do it. Okay? But when I say "You really shouldn't feel that growing sense of attraction now", I'm implying that it's going to happen and she mustn't let it happen, so therefore she's going to. This works really well with women I
Audience: Test boundaries Ross: Who doesn't understand? If you don't, please stop and I'll go over it until you get it. Or I'll ridicule you till you shut up. No, I wouldn't do that. I really wouldn't. I don't do that, I don't teach that way. I despise people who teach that way, I think they're
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call polarity responders, women who think the opposite of everything you say. So, what you do is you tell them what you don't want them to do and, in fact, that's what you do want them to do, so they do it, cause you told them not to do it. Yes sir.
whether it will help you learn tremendously more or just a hell of a lot more.” But it's a good thing to know that you can take on that mindset, isn't it? Okay. So, I'm just, I'm playing with the languaging there. You see how it works?
Audience: Is it also kind of like the challenge aspect?
Audience: Yes. That was a good one - I don't know whether ...
Ross: Yes, again it's a challenge.
Ross: Yeah, "I don't know whether ...” that's another good weasel phrase. ”I don't know whether ...” and then you describe what, then what you do with that one, you describe two choices, both of which make you win. Heads I win, tails you lose. Okay? "I don't know whether you'll surrender to me completely by the end of the evening or you'll just give yourself to me with total, wild abandon.” Okay? Now, you wouldn't just say that right up front, although you could if you were blatant enough. One of things I want to tell you, by the way, is the more humorous you are, the more blatant you can be. The more playful you are, the more blatant you can be. I'm unbelievably blatant with this stuff. Women say, "What do you do?" I used to hide it. But, do you know what I tell them now? I say, "I teach hypnosis and seduction. I teach men the difference between getting a woman to submit and getting a woman to surrender.” And you know what I see then? I see, "Oooh"
Audience: Too bad you can't Ross: Any time you structure an opportunity or offer a challenge, you know you're on the right track. Remember we talked about trains? You want them on that track. Otherwise, you're going to get run over. Okay? Here's another good one: "I invite you to notice ... I invite you to notice" What does that imply? It implies that whatever you mention after that is going to happen. ”I invite you to notice what it's like, as that sense of rapport between us grows deeper and deeper" Okay? Another one is "Find yourself " What does it mean to find yourself doing something? It means it's going to happen. Okay? "It's not important to find yourself growing really attracted to me as the evening wears on.” You get it? These are just the little pieces of the languaging that you are going to see over and over and over again. Now, the way to learn these things is to put them on flash cards. Put them on flash cards and create your own set of commands by going through them and going, for each one create, think of the state you want to put her in and then go through these and attach it to each one of them. I don't want to spend too much time on this. Another really good one is "Have you ever ... have you ever felt that sense of incredible connection.” When you say, "have you ever" what is that really doing? "Have you ever" sounds like a question, but it's not. It's actually a command to go inside your imagination and remember a time when you did. If I say to you, what's your name sir?
Audience: Laughter Ross: "Really? Tell me more.” "Well, step this way.” And then I go right into it. I'll go, "Let me give you an example the kind of thing I teach men to say. Boom" It's a rough job. Someone's got to do it Audience: Laughter. What did you used to tell women before you told them the truth? Ross: "Ah, well, you know, teach hypnosis, " which is slightly true, "I teach NLP or I design nuclear weapons.”
Audience: Dave
Audience: Laughter
Ross: Dave, if I said, "Dave, I want you to feel that I'm the most fascinating teacher that you've ever met and you have to pay close attention and absorb everything I teach" you're going to go, "Well, that's nice.” But if I said, "Have you ever met someone who is very influential in your life, someone who really opened your mind to a new direction and really got you thinking in a powerful way.” You know, as you're remembering what that was like as I talked to you, as you allow that state of mind to really grow and take over your consciousness. If I were to say to you, "just continue to allow that sense of absolute fascination to grow as we talk together, I don't know
Ross: I was in a strip club in Las Vegas in a very pissy mood. I didn't want to go there, but my friend wanted to seduce a stripper who works there. He gave me some money, said "Buy some dances and just sit there.” I was pissed off so. The stripper comes up to me and goes, "Hi, honey, where are you in town from?" I said, "Los Alamos.” She said, "Oh, where's that?" I said, "Oh, it's up north.” "Well, what do you do, honey? You a lawyer?" I go, "No, I build nuclear weapons.” And then I looked at her and said, "You think you're bad, don't you?" I said, "You think you do naughty, naughty bad things for a living. You
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think you should be ashamed of some of the things you do, don't you? But you don't know what real shame is. You don't know what bad is.”
Audience: Incredible lust Ross: Incredible lust. Name some more. Audience: Intrigue
Audience: Laughter
Ross: Intrigue
Ross: "Bad is when you make something that could kill millions of people, turn them into vapor in a heartbeat.” And she's like, "Ahahahahah.” I said,
Audience: Curiosity Ross: By the way, what's the difference between someone's who's interesting and someone's who's intriguing?
Audience: Laughter Ross: I said, I said, "You see that table that's right between us?" She went, "Yeah.” I said, "I built one the size of that table that would turn the state of Nevada into glass and every person in it into wisps of vapor.” And she went, "Ahahahahah.”
Audience: Response from audience Ross: That's a very good principle for constructing patterns. We'll talk about that later, the contrast principle. What's the difference between one thing and another? Okay.
Audience: Laughter Ross: "You want a lap dance?"
Audience: An ongoing creativity of what could we do together.
Audience: Laughter. So, did she charge you for the lap dance? Laughter
Ross: Ooh, so you want that mindset of her thinking, "Ooo, what could I do with this guy?" Very good.
Ross: Ah, gee, oh golly, my. So, more weasel phrases. Notice what, did we do "Notice what it's like"? I think we did.
Audience: Response from audience Ross: Okay. Now, some of you said oral fixation, lust. The problem is, those are not the right things to aim at right away, unless you're with a stripper. Okay?
Audience: Yes Ross: So, these are some of the basic building blocks of what make up patterns. And the best way to drill in this is to, again, go through the flash cards, make up your own flash cards, take each weasel phrase, first thing you do is you write down some of the states, what are some of the states? Let's think about this. Let's say, think of some woman who you'd really like to sleep with. It can be someone you know, could be a movie star, a TV actress, except Nev Campbell, leave her alone.
Audience: Laughter Ross: I'm serious. Strippers you can aim at that right away, but for most sane, healthy, balanced women, for both of those women, the thing is this, Audience: laughter Ross: You're half of it, you're half of it, keep ... I'm teasing. For most women, that's not the thing to aim at first, and I'll tell you why. Cause it's just too overwhelming. Here's the thing about speed seduction you want to get. Speed seduction requires you do things in the proper sequence or order. How many people here have ever baked a cake or watched a cake or eaten a cake that's been baked?
Audience: Laughter Ross: She's mine, mine, mine, all mine. Audience: Laughter Ross: Or that contract doesn't get signed, signed, signed. No, I'm teasing. Okay. So, imagine some woman you'd really like to be with. You're going to get your shot. You're going to get an hour alone with her to talk to her. What are some of the states of mind you want her to experience?
Audience: laughter Ross: You want to ... For those of you heard trainers, universal experiences, you know. Audience: Laughter
Audience: Fascination, connection
Ross: And just keep testing till you get one. How do you know? "Well, I didn't calibrate their unconscious ...” You know, there's so much mythology and bullshit in NLP, it's just remarkable. Oh, Lord help me to do this job. Anyway. I'm serious, I pray before I teach these classes, I do. I really do. It's a gargantuan task.
Ross: Fascination, connection. What else? Audience: Oral fixation Ross: Oral fixation? That's ...
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How many people here have had NLP training, by the way? We will do our best to help you get past that handicap. I'm serious. Okay, so, where was I?
imagination. Okay? And the thing is this. When a woman says to you, "I think you're a nice guy" what she's saying is "I can't experience anything around you except casual comfort and enjoyment.” Is that correct Brother Amy, essentially? She's nodding her pretty head yes. Okay? Now, understand something. This is very profound. If you get this, it's a really big piece. I'm talking about a huge piece that will do you a world of good.
Audience: Responses from audience Ross: Okay. You want to do things in the right sequence. For most women, you want to start out by creating a state of incredible comfort and connection and fascination. Incredible comfort, fascination and connection are the states you want to start with. Why? Because that lays, haha, yeah, a sexual metaphor you're using, Ross, it lays the foundation, the groundwork for everything else you want to insert, I mean everything else you want to do. Okay? Now, how many here are self-styled nice guys? How many people have ever been told by a woman, "You're a nice guy"? When she's saying you're a nice guy, what does that really mean?
Audience: laughter Ross: I want to erect a new structure for you to pay attention to, okay? Cause, I really want you guys to move in a new direction and the thing about new directions, magnificent new directions, is this. You've really got to grab hold of them, take them in as far and as deep as they'll go, join with them, make them part of who you are. You understand?
Audience: Responses and laughter
Audience: Yes
Ross: Please don't say fuck in here, say bang, bump uglies, screw, make, do the groan up.
Ross: All right, good. Audience: Response and laughter from audience.
Audience: Response from audience
Ross: Okay. The thing is this, is if the only ... Let's say you're a really great looking guy. Let's say you happen to have the exact fact and body she likes, okay? What response will she have when you walk into the room?
Ross: That's good. Audience: Response from audience Ross: Well, what it really means, that's partially what it means, but also what it means is, look, translated from the female languaging, what it means is, "look, the only thing I feel around you is casual comfort and enjoyment and that's all I reel around you.” That's what she's really, the report that she's giving you with her feelings is that. It's very important to take your attention off what you want, off your own desire and pay attention to how she's responding with her imagination and her feelings, her imagination and her emotions. Ask yourself the question, don't ask, "How can I get into her pants" and don't think, "Oh my God, my pink torpedo is ready to sail home.”
Audience: Response from audience Ross: She'll feel some physical sensations in her body. You get one of the four doorways. Which of the four door-ways do you get by virtue of the fact that you're a really good-looking guy? Do you get deep emotional connections? Audience: Responses from audience Ross: Do you get, right, you get body sensations. She feels that little buzz, you know, and maybe the little man in the boat starts to rock a little bit.
Audience: laughter
Audience. laughter
Ross: Instead, pay attention to the right thing. Remember the guy who was looking at the instruments instead of at the road and he crashed in the story I told?
Ross: For those of you who don't know what I mean, we have a remedial class to teach ... Audience: laughter Ross: Okay? So. Okay, so, the thing is this, is, when she tells you you're a nice guy what she's really saying is she's giving you a report on her state of mind when she's around you. Do you get it? So, what you want to learn to do is create deeper states than that. You want to learn to create states of feeling totally comfortable like she's known you forever, like she's meant to know you, and feeling totally
Audience: Yes Ross: Okay. Forget about the fact that that person has something you really want and instead, pay attention to the structures in their mind that you can use to lead them where you want them to go and that implies that you're paying attention to them. Watch how they're responding with their emotions and their
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fascinated, feeling completely connected. Why? What does that open her up to fe el next?
defeated. But surrender, surrender is when she sighs that sigh of relief because she's finally come home. She's come home to someone who's mature enough to see the woman that she is, experienced enough to see the woman who's emerging and strong enough to make her feel totally protected as he takes his pleasure with her and leads her in a completely new direction. Do you understand?
Audience: Deeper emotions Ross: Deeper emotions and ... Audience: Body sensations Ross: Body sensations and it gets her visualizing, okay? Here's the sad thing. Men have sexually repressed women. Men have taught women through enculturation that's it's not right or okay for women to have sexual feelings simply cause they're sexual creatures. And now we're paying the price. The price we're paying is we have to create all those things first for them to do the ugly with us. Okay? Do you get it?
Audience: Yes Ross: So that's what I want to show you - how to be that kind of man. Cause when you're that kind of man, ... Yes? Audience: Response from audience Ross: Yeah, he was going "Mm hmm" Audience: Laughter
Audience: Yes
Ross: Now, when you meet that kind of man and you know, ...
Ross: That’s our fault. When you oppress it comes back to haunt you. Now we have to fix the problem by giving them what they think they need first. But that can be done without flowers, gifts, candy, dates. It can be done through your language. Do you get it?
Audience: laughter Ross: Have you ever wanted something really badly and you just couldn't get it and suddenly it gets closer and closer and closer
Audience: Yes Ross: Okay, so. That's what we're going to aim at. So, the first kind of state you want to aim at, unless you're dealing with a stripper, now when you're dealing with a stripper, they don't, in their mindset, in their model of the world, there is no such thing as an emotional connection. To them, connections have to do with excitement and the next thrill ride. That's what you have to offer them. If you talk to stripper about incredible connections she'll look at you like you're speaking Greek. She won't get it. But for, outside of that, generally speaking, you want to create states of fascination and connection. Yes.
Audience: Laughter Ross: I'm not going to play with her because she's my guest. I promised I wouldn't. Audience: Laughter Ross: It's hard to cross your fingers with these great big rings. Okay? Does this make sense?
Audience: It seems that when somebody tells you you're a nice guy, they're saying also you're not threatening, and to what extent do you think that having some element of danger or mystery is important to also opening up ... Ross: It is important. It is important. But look, what if, what if you could have danger and mystery without being an idiot? What if you could have danger and mystery without being a bully? That's what I want to teach you how to do. Cause here's the thing. If you can make a woman on the one hand feel totally safe, totally comfortable, and on the other hand feel totally, wildly passionate, you're going to get quite a ride. Okay? And this is part of the difference between submission and surrender. Submission implies she's been broken, she's been beaten, someone's broken her will, someone's got power over her, she's been
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Ross: This is Brother John. Give him a big hand.
videotapes - you'll see it on there. It's when you talk about how you can feel that wonderful connection right (pause) there. And the finger goes right to her solar plexus and what you have to do is, you have to look at your finger. They will follow where you're looking. So you don't go right there, you look at your finger, you go right (pause) there. And this is where they feel the connection. Yeah. So she melted.
Audience: Applause
Audience: Response from audience
Ross: What I'll be doing is interrupting from time to time to show you what he used, so this isn't just an entertaining story. Go ahead Brother John.
Ross: Yeah, you can tell ... And here's the thing. This is also what I call they think they're, you're about to touch their breasts, so imagine he's a chick, with, these are boobs, so you go right (pause) then they're going, you'll see their chest start to heave like, "Is he going to touch my tits?" And then you go, go ahhh, the relief.
Tape 2 – Side 1 Yates: This is Side 3 of the Ross Jeffries Speed Seduction Seminar
Brother John: Well, I kinda tried to distance myself from looking like I'm doing patterns. I do do patterns, but they usually don't show because they're not a full pattern. Not like this pattern or that pattern. Just throwing little elements here and there, you'll be surprised at the results you'll get.
Audience: Laughter Ross: Go ahead. Yes, Chris.
Ross: Well, you had a recent success that you shared, right, on the list. Is that correct? Was that you?
Chris: What do you say right before the finger point? Ross: You know, my sense, my sense about you is when you feel a connection with someone, you feel it right (pause), they go, "Oh my god, he's going to touch my tits.” Yeah, oh, it's what I call the intrusion principle. You intrude just a little bit. Go ahead. So what happened?
Brother John: Oh, the Italian girl. Ross: Yeah, talk about her. Brother John: Well, we were walking down the streets of Florence and, we saw this guy and a girl. They were trying to pick people up to go to this bar that was sort of an American sports bar. So, ah, I was there with three friends, or two friends, there was three of us, and we decided to go. She was gorgeous, dark hair, beautiful eyes, um. So we decided that's where we're going to go. So we went in and there's nobody else in this place, just her and the owner. And my friends were just hitting on her left and right, telling her she's beautiful, telling her everything they thought she wanted to hear, and that wasn't it. She wanted more. She wanted to know that there was something else because she thought she looked like every other Italian girl. And she kind of did -long, long dark hair. So, uh, did the finger-point thing. That is great, that is surprising and she just melted. Her eyes rolled up into her head and ... my friends were looking at ...
Brother John: Just doing this brings on the Ross: So what happened to her? So what happened with her? Brother John: Urn, well, you know, we talked awhile, uh, she didn't have a boyfriend, 22, uh, fascinated by blond guys. She said that that's, that was common there because there's not so many blondes. So that made it kind of fun. It was like being on the other end of the stick. Ross: Come one, let's get to the details, talking about the end of the stick. Audience: Laughter Brother John: Hey, I was only in Florence two days. I got a great kiss out of it, got her, got her address and phone number, we've been talking, she's been correcting my Italian.
Ross: That's a yes signal, by the way. That's a good one.
Ross: Okay, good. Okay. Are there any more juicy stories? Didn't you have more juicy stories than that?
Audience: Laughter
Brother John: That was my favorite cause she was absolutely gorgeous.
Ross: The finger-point thing, by the way, is when you, is when you, for those of you at home, you have to, you have to imagine this at home, Buy the
Ross: Ah, cool, okay. You don't want to tell the other
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stories?
Brother Dan: Did you just have a bad experience?
Brother John: No, not on tape.
Ross: So, what was the question you asked yourself, though?
Audience: laughter
Brother Dan: What can I notice about them?
Ross: Not on tape, okay, so he's going to be conservative. Brother Danny, you come up. Okay. Brother Dan. How old are you Brother Dan?
Ross: Yeah. What can I notice that I can use? Yeah. What can I notice that I can. This isn't rocket science, it's pretty simple. Now, notice what he didn't do. He didn't look and go, "Oh my god, look at that fucking ass. I can just imagine when I'm sticking my tongue so deep in there that I'm massaging her inner, you know, her small intestine, um urn um.” He didn't pay attention to his feelings of lust and the other side of the cover he didn't go into "Oh my god, look at them. They're only 19 years old and I'm a 40-year-old fart. I'll never get my ...” He just, instead, he focused outside, he put his attention out here. He said, "What can I notice that I can use?" Go ahead.
Brother Dan: 41 Ross: And how old is your girlfriend? Brother Dan: 20 Ross: But she just turned 20? Audience: Yeah Brother Dan: She just turned 20. Ross: So, you used, you rogered her when she was? Brother Dan: 19
Brother Dan: So the next thing I did was I just, I sort of reached into my side like this and I just said, "I've got this light saber thing.” So I just went, you know like the Jedi thing, and I went, buzzzz, and I threw her my hand and I just, we were walking down the street with these people talking. But I was bold and I believed I could get away with it. I guess that was something, my state was good. I had like a really powerful state. But I took that thing and swung it over their heads, right, and I said, "Now don't you feel better?"
Ross: And you were how old? Brother Dan: 40 Ross: But that's impossible - 40 year old men have to spend six weeks of hanging out till they get a positive signal that she wants to talk to you. Audience: Laughter Ross: Never mind. Go ahead, tell the story. Brother Dan: I saw these two really beautiful women at this psychic fair and they were sisters. One was very attractive and the other one was not so attractive. So, I'm watching them and as they're leaving, they're complaining and they're at the desk trying to get their money back. And they're very upset about it. So, I kind of just walked close to them as they were leaving the psychic fair. And I just walked up and I say, "Well, what am I going to say to them that, you know, will catch their interest?" So, I said, "So you're just at the psychic fair?" and I said, "Did you just have a bad experience?" cause, and they're going, "Well, yeah, we did.” So I said, "Well, what am I going to do here?" So I went up to them and I said, "Well, you very, very lucky because I have a magical cure for that.” And I was thinking of this, so we're walking down the street, side by side,
Audience: Laughter Ross: And what did they say? Brother Dan: Oh, they said, "Yeah, I feel better.” Then, especially the really pretty 19 year old one that, you know, had had the experience and she was smiling and laughing. Ross: That's called the light saber pickup. Now, you're going to go, "Excuse me, mroing.” Audience: Laughter Ross: There's something called context. Put it in the right context. He noticed they were having bad thoughts and images in their minds, so he went zoom. Cut them right off. Now, notice when he said he had a bold attitude. The bolder and more outrageous you are, the better you can do with this. People want to be led. People are also hypnosis machines, if you know how to lead them properly. Go ahead. And you were playful, too.
Ross: Stop. So, what's his formula? His first formula is, I want you, this is why I interrupt. I interrupt to give you what he's doing. First of all, he observes what's going on. Then he says, he goes into his intuition and then you said, what was the question you asked yourself?
Brother Dan: Yeah, I was very playful. I ... Ross: Were you lustful?
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Brother Dan: I, she was, when I saw her standing with her back to me at the counter, her, she had the, a pouty, kind of round butt thing.
Brother Dan: You know, where you loop it around, that sort of thing, and getting amazing responses from them, like they were trancing right out where they were
Ross: Yeah.
Ross: How could you tell they were trancing?
Brother Dan: I was a little bit lustful. But, I managed to put that in its place so that I could enjoy it later.
Brother Dan: They weren't saying anything, they had that, their eyes were fixed on me, and they weren't blinking very much. They were just there.
Ross: Did you hear what he said? That's profound. Say it again. You managed to what?
Ross: Now. Did you have to look real closely to see it? Did you have to put yourself in a super-attenuated state of super observation and look at the little twitch in the lower lip?
Brother Dan: I managed to put that lust in its place ... Ross: So you could what? Brother Dan: Enjoy it later.
Brother Dan: No.
Ross: Right. If you pay attention to your own desire you will erect a barrier, I'm serious, between you and her. You see, if you view people as a task that you must complete, you'll break all rapport and they'll resent you. Go ahead.
Ross: No. Brother Dan: When somebody's, when somebody's there, Ross: Major Mark.
Brother Dan: So, we just continued walking down the street and I had their attention and I was dropping in weasel phrases and some trance words and I had their attention for probably three or four blocks, and, but then we realized that we were going nowhere. Right? But they were entranced
Audience: Applause Ross: Mark, Mark, Mark, Mark, Mark, Mark, Mark, Mark, Mark, Mark. Audience: Applause
Ross: What do you mean you realized you were going nowhere? You were walking nowhere?
Ross: Now the gang's all here. Hi, buddy. Mark: Yeah, how you doing?
Brother Dan: We were just walking Ross: Ah
Ross: He cut short his honeymoon to be here. How do you like that?
Brother Dan: and
Audience: Responses from audience.
Ross: Right
Ross: Go ahead.
Brother Dan: and directing, so I said, "Why don't we“
Brother Dan: So, I mean, you realize it very, very quickly because people don't usually like, you know, Amy, when we were talking at lunch last year? I mean, you know when somebody's going there. Their eyes defocus and they, when it's profound, I mean, you see it instantly and they just stop talking. They, and they really pay attention. So, then
Ross: Wait a minute. You had two women there and you were doing with both of them? "I thought that's an insoluble problem. What if there are two girls there. One of them is going to try and get in the way, and ... I can't do this in front two women.” Yeah. Go ahead. Brother Dan: So I said, "Let's go, why don't we go for coffee?" So we walked another couple of blocks and went for coffee. And, at that point, I was running patterns on them, I was doing the blow job, I was doing anchoring, I was doing all these things, and
Ross: Then what did you do? Brother Dan: Ah, Ross: So, what is he doing? He's constantly focusing outside, watching them. External focus. Go ahead.
Ross: Which we'll show you all.
Brother Dan: That little coffee thing ended up taking about 2 hours. Ross: Two hours, wow.
Brother Dan: Particularly with the, with the younger one, you know, I was doing anchoring till like, a really great feeling,
Brother Dan: And they were just, they were, they were gone and I said, "Well, you know, it was time for us to go home now, blah, blah, blah.” So, I drive them
Ross: Right.
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both home and I said, "You know, "
year olds?
Ross: How old was the older one, by the way?
Audience: Laughter.
Brother Dan: 25.
Brother Dan: It was like a cigar, it was like a martini cigar
Ross: Ahhhhh.
Ross: No hard core _____ . Go ahead.
Audience: Laughter and response from audience
Brother Dan: So, I said, "Sure, why not.” So, I'm ...
Brother Dan: So I said, "You know, " I did a negation thing, I said, "It's really too bad that we won't have another opportunity ...”
Ross: I must admire Brother Dan: So, I go there to pick them up and, surprise, surprise. One of them's not there. Guess which one?
Ross: It's too bad that we don't, we won't have another opportunity to connect. So what did he do? Did he say, "I'd really like to see you girls again"? He offered a challenge. What did I say to you? Structure opportunities or offer challenges. So he said, the exact language was, "It's too bad
Ross: The 25 year old wasn't there. Brother Dan: That's right. And, the other one ... Ross: Her parakeet had an existential crisis, see?
Brother Dan: It's too bad we won't have another opportunity like this to get together or something like that.
Audience: Laughter. Brother Dan: Well, actually, she had gone ahead and her sister was waiting for her, but she was really excited and enthusiastic. So, we get, we get to this bar, we park and we're walking along the street, and, for some reason, I just put my arm out like this and I said, "You know, I don't know, people are going to start thinking that there's more going on here, you know, if they see us together like this.” _____ goes good.
Ross: Right. It's too bad we won't have another opportunity to get together like this again. Now what in the mind of any woman is that going to cause her to do? Audience: Response from audience Ross: Oh yes we will. Brother Dan: They said, "We want your number. We want to talk to you again.”
Ross: Yeah, _____ which is good, a very good boy. Audience: Laughter.
Ross: Okay.
Brother Dan: And we're just ...
Brother Dan: So, about two weeks lapses.
Ross: Very good.
Ross: Now, he could've blown it. He could have said, "Well, you know, you girls, you girls are so great, now I'd really like to talk to you again, and"
Brother Dan: And she's smiling and laughing, you know, and, she's like, cause she's getting into it. We walk in, we sit down, and this was the clincher. What I did, was I, I think it was kind of like part of the bj pattern.
Brother Dan: About two weeks lapses and I get this phone call. Ross: So, you didn't hear from them for two weeks?
Ross: Yeah. Blow Job pattern. Thank you.
Brother Dan: Well, we were supposed to get together a week later. They got, one of them got the flu and then,
Brother Dan: And, you know, I said something about chocolate, and I said, "You know what I especially like? Is when I take that chocolate ...
Ross: Yeah, that happens. By the way, that kind of thing does happen.
Ross: Stop. He's describing his own experience. What did I say? Stories and descriptions. By describing his own experience, was does it allow her to do?
Brother Dan: So, about two weeks later they phoned me up, on like a Wednesday and they say, "There's this birthday party and we'd like you to come to it, you know. A friend of ours is having a birthday, so come to this, it was like ...”
Audience: Response from audience Ross: She can imagine for herself, she doesn't have to resist it, it's not about her. Go ahead.
Ross: Where you can meet other 18 and 19 and 20
Brother Dan: So, I said, "You know what I really love
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to do? Is I like to take some of that chocolate that isn't just too sweet and put it in my mouth and then I like to take a sip of really wonderful red wine and mix those flavors together inside my mouth.” And then I go, "You know, and I'm sure and you can't imagine.” And she says, "I love to do that, too.”
and you go first. Brother Dan: And I remember really clearly what I said. I said, "Isn't it interesting ...” Ross: Isn't it interesting. Brother Dan: "how you can feel totally safe here in this ...” And this is a place where they metal detectors, okay. It was very alternative place, right?
Audience: Laughter Brother Dan: But I'm telling you, the way I described it, and I'm not going into all the details, the pattern and stuff
Audience: Laughter Brother Dan: And it ...
Ross: Right.
Ross: I should, we should get some of those.
Brother Dan: But, I mean, at this point she's going, "Don't do this to me, not here. Okay?"
Brother Dan: Just when you're, and when you're together with someone, it feels like everybody else is just out there and you're almost here on your own with me. And, it really was like you could feel really comfortable, like, I don't know if you've ever been into a bar where there's lots of people drinking, and,
Ross: Don't do this to me? Not here. Audience: Laughter Brother Dan: What is she trying to tell me? Do this to me, but not here.
Ross: Yeah.
Ross: What is she saying? Take me where we can be alone. So what happened then? By the way, that's a green light. Go ahead.
Brother Dan: And loud and things like that. And it really just didn't matter. The rest of it was outside of our experience at that point in time.
Audience: Laughter
Ross: What did he do? He disappeared the world and made it just her and him together in that special place where they can explore anything that they can make ...
Brother Dan: So anyway, we, we went out dancing to a club and she'd go, I mean at this point we did, I did some safety things with her and she goes ...
Brother Dan: And feel safe.
Ross: Whoa. Would you explain your thinking behind that? Why did you do safety things with her?
Ross: And feel safe doing it. He disappeared the world for her. You ever heard of those songs, listen to love songs. When you're, you disappear the world for me, and all that other bullshit.
Brother Dan: Well, safety's really important, I mean, there's, you know, women are, can be quite fearful about their safety and the type of person that, especially if they've just met them and talked with them for 2 hours. That's not a long time. You know, so, you want to make them feel comfortable so that they can open up to more exciting adventures. And, so we went to this club and it was interesting because it was like the rest of the people in the club disappeared and I said, ...
Audience: Laughter Brother Dan: So, you know, we went there, danced a little bit. She was getting very, very provocative with her dancing. Ross: Oh? What does that mean? Brother Dan: I don't know. It was another green light?
Ross: For whom? Who were the rest of the people?
Ross: How was she being provocative?
Brother Dan: For both of us, because I went, I _____ , I go right there with them all the time.
Brother Dan: Urn, you know, she was like, arms up in the air, lots of hip action ...
Ross: Listen to what he just said. Say it again.
Ross: Yeah, yeah. Okay.
Brother Dan: I go right there with them every time.
Brother Dan: You know, it being very
Ross: One of the keys to leading someone into a state to experience some of that state for yourself. Now, I didn't say experience it fully cause then you might lose some control, but experience some it for yourself,
Ross: Someone give me a towel. Go ahead. Audience: Laughter Brother Dan: So we go to a, after that all ends, we go
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to a friend's place for pizza and, you know, that's when I spent, you remember you told me you'd slap my hands for that? I spent like $3 and $5 for the pizza or something.
Brother Dan: This really works.
Ross: How much did you spend?
Ross: Ross wasn't lying.
Brother Dan: It was, I think the whole evening was about $5 or $6 cause we bought drinks. I know, I know.
Brother Dan: We poured some wine and I did some
Ross: She's like ... Audience: Laughter
Ross: By the way, hang on just a second. Brother Dan: And then I used some of the gates, you know. ”We really shouldn't be moving too fast, da da da da.” So that I really distanced it from myself. The next thing I know,
Ross: You spent $5 to have beautiful 19 year old goddess fall in love with you and ... Brother Dan: They bought me drinks and I bought them drinks and then, I threw in some, like, pizza or whatever it was. It was under $ 10. And so, you know, we get to the evening and I think I did a few more patterns with her. She sat down with me. The, the next thing that happened, she says, "It's time to go.” Right.
Ross: Slow down. Negation is, you say, you really shouldn't be doing this, it's not important for you to feel this, we can't do this. What are you doing? You're taking all the resistance she would voice and you're voicing it for her, so she doesn't have to, and you can both push it out-of the way. Go ahead.
Ross: It's time to go.
Brother Dan: At that point, she puts her hand in my hand, and leads me upstairs, and ...
Audience: Laughter Brother Dan: And we were the first ones to leave ...
Ross: She leads you upstairs in your house?
Ross: She's a 19 year old girl getting aggressive with a 40-year-old man.
Brother Dan: Yes. Ross: How did she even know where the bedroom.
Brother Dan: And so, and we go, and I said, "You know, " I did something like, you know, I asked her, you know, where would she feel comfortable about going with me, right? And she says, "Well, let's go back to your place.” We go back to my place and ...
Audience: Laughter Ross: She's done this before. Audience: laughter.
Ross: Now, more green lights. Not "Oh, you know, I have to get up early for work tomorrow.” All those mechanisms are now working in his favor.
Brother Dan: To be honest with you, she was not very experienced. This was only her second time. Ross: Okay. But she took you upstairs.
Brother Dan: Yeah. And I did lots of, some things on the way home to sort of build it just gradually. We get home. I did not ask for anything. And, remember, you said, Ross says that ...
Audience: _____ sixth sense. Ross: She took you upstairs and what happened then? (Heavy breathing)
Ross: Say it again.
Audience: Laughter
Brother Dan: I did not ask for anything.
Brother Dan: And, we made, you know, we
Ross: When you ask, you're supplicating. Go ahead.
Ross: Was she aggressive when she took you upstairs? Did she jump on you?
Brother Dan: Ross says if you have to ask, you're doing it wrong.
Brother Dan: She was, no, she was very, she, I mean, she let me lead after that.
Ross: Right.
Ross: Okay. Those are green lights, you know. So.
Brother Dan: Right? So, you know, we're there and, I think I poured some wine, and ...
Audience: Laughter
Ross: Were you at any point thinking to yourself, "Jesus Christ, this really works!"
Brother Dan: And, you want to know what? I've got to tell you, I mean, this person is still involved in my life. And you know what? We have, she can, she just
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loves the experiences I give her. She just goes, her, all of her friends go, I mean, they accept me completely as being a very good thing in her life cause I do a lot of wonderful things, I give her, I do patterns with her to improve her school, to get her focused on right things,
with her more than anybody else ever has. Ross: Say it again. Audience: He communicated and connected, Ross: Not just that. Audience: more than anybody else
Ross: Yeah, you don't do that till after they're sleeping with you.
Ross: He's communicated in ways that she understands. Now to an outside observer who is watching the first night he was talking to those girls, they would think he was a fucking lunatic. They wouldn't get it, okay?
Brother Dan: Yeah. Audience: Laughter Brother Dan; So I give her lots of good things
Brother Dan: I had eyes closed, I bad them pointing to pictures, I had them moving pictures around, I had them zip anchor,
Ross: Trust me. I'm not trying to be fecitious or sarcastic or ... Brother Dan: Cause then you're her therapist ...
Ross: Now the fact, we'll, we'll
Ross: But then you're her therapist, and then, then you don't get it.
Brother Dan: People would've thought I was very strange.
Brother Dan: So I mean, just, just to add onto that, so I do a lot of really positive things with her. And what her girlfriends say is, and this is where, we're out at another birthday party this last week, they go, "They want what she has.”
Ross: Now, now, now the fact that they were at a psychic fair give you a clue that they're open to that kind of stuff. If you were going to like the skeptical inquirers meeting, you know, Audience: Laughter
Ross: Ohhhhh.
Ross: You might have, so you picked a good hunting ground whether you knew it or not, but the fact is, he went at it with the right attitude, which is not "Oh, I've got to make it work, but _____ Right?
Audience: Laughter Brother Dan: I want what you and ... Audience: Do you offer it?
Brother Dan: Exactly.
Audience: Laughter
Ross: I think you should give him a huge hand.
Brother Dan: I'm not going to use my name again, but they, and I'm going, now, that's a, that's, that's really
Audience: Applause
Ross: Now
Ross: Microphone over there please. Could we get a mike ... You can use my mike to answer, so, just talk into my tit.
Brother Dan: that's a lot of ambiguity in there. Ross: Now, has, is he hurting her, has he done something terrible to her, has he tricked her or robbed her of something?
Audience: Laughter. Ross: Yes.
Audience: No
Audience: Someone asked, this may be jumping forward a little bit, but at any point does she know that if you let on that you're doing any of these patterns or have you informed her at all that you're involved in this in any way?
Ross: No, he's done something wonderful that no snot-nosed 19 year old punk her age could ever give her. Yeah? Audience: Unless they've been trained by Ross.
Brother Dan: She knows that I do lots of mind things. I tell her that very, very clearly. I've done things with her mom, we’re just talking about almost therapeutic things for her mom, and she, when she tells me ...
Ross: That's right. Thank you. Audience: Laughter. Ross: What did it cost him? Five bucks.
Audience: laughter
Audience: He's communicated and he's connected
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Brother Dan: I gave her mom hope at a Christmas party. I don't know how, I know exactly how I did that cause I planned to do that, that was what I wanted to ...
Brother Dan: and get it taken care of. Ross. - I don't want you to get into that. I want you to stay out of the therapeutic mindset. This is. you know' ...
Ross: You gave her mom hope? What did hope say about it?
Brother Dan: Okay. But I do touch people wherever I go and I like playing, with this stuff, and the more I play with it. the better I get at it.
Audience: Laughter Brother Dan: Her mom ... Yeah, I know ... Her mom ...
Ross: He like playing with it. I want, one of the things we're going to be doing today is installing that playful attitude into you, getting you past the "Oh my god, while I ---------------" Get you past all that.
Ross: _____ Brother Dan: Her mom was in a bad state, her mom was in a bad state, and I did some change things with her. But what she does is she goes, do you know, you're amazing? And she goes you touch people wherever you go and the reason she says ...
Brother Dan: Ross, can I say one more thing? Ross: That I'm great, I'm wonderful? Yeah, you may say that
Audience: Laughter
Brother Dan: The one thing that, you know, that Ross talks about in terms of dating and things like that ...
Brother Dan: You want to know what I tell her? Seriously, seriously. What I did, I say, and I, and I touched them deeply inside.
Ross: _____ Audience: Laughter
Audience: Laughter.
Brother Dan: It is about choice. I was 39 years old. I had gone out and, I had gone out and through my life I said, "If I get better, if I make more money, if I drive the right car, if I get the right degree, women will like me.” And I fall, I fell into the trap of more better. If I get more better, I'm going to finally get the success with women I rightly deserve and so do you all. Do you want to know what? I was really, I realized that that game wasn't working and I came to Speed Seduction by, by the greatest of good fortune. I'm going to tell you that right now cause I've used it in business, used it in my personal life,
Brother Dan: You know, I go on and on Ross: He's not being, wait, you're not being ... Brother Dan: But I do that, I really do that. Ross: He's not being cynical, he means it, he means it. Brother Dan: I don't know when, when we were at that place, you know, that woman said, "You know, remember we were by that shop in Hawaii?" and I said, I walked up to her and I do use a lot of intuition, I mean that's something you're going to find as you start to pay attention, intuition is just awareness of things that are there that you just haven't paid attention to yet, but you will. I said, "It looks like you've got a back injury, right, or you have some ...” Remember she said that? She goes, "How did you know?" I go, well she's like, I could see her neck was stiff and things like that. She thought I was psychic, blah, blah, blah, and, you know, what do we do with her? We connected with her and we got her past her fear. Her fear was she had been to a chiropractor who had screwed her neck up. And it had been screwed up for a year and I said, what I did was, we did some change work, _____ during the week ...
Ross: It doesn't work for anything but getting laid. Brother Dan: And they shouldn't think that over and over again as they try to experiment with it every day for the rest of their lives. Ross: Yeah. Brother Dan: The thing that I want to tell you today - I have choice. I am not, I mean, how many people have been in a relationship where they say, "I don't know if I should get out of this because I don't know if I'll find anything better?" Well, what if you had the choice, what if you had the choice to go for more every time, independent of how good things were today? You had the choice. That is like one of the greatest gifts that I, that I've, I've got at this point in my life. It would have been great that if I had, if I had it 20 years ago, but I look at my life as being a whole new adventure from today forward.
Ross: Yeah. Brother Dan: We moved some picture around where she could have the courage to go out and find a proper chiropractor. Okay? Ross: Okay, you don't want to ...
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Ross: A whole new adventure. Now, here's the thing is, is, no understand. He has choice about being a bully without being abusive, without exploiting anyone, he has choice through doing wonderful things for people, for making, for leading them into feeling things they could never feel before. So, no one loses when you do this. Everyone wins. That's the really cool thing.
people for a living, I play with people for a living. And one research project I did was I was trying to figure out why the hell do so many romance novels sell. I mean, I don't know if you know this, but over half of all books sold in North America today are romance novels. Now think about that. That's 51% as of last year. That means 49% of all books sold encompass, are literature, politics, religion, all the forms of human endeavor, 51% of all books sold are women's romantic fantasies. Now, does this tell you something? Could there be an unfulfilled yearning out there somewhere?
Audience: The first choice that he made was to succeed because what mindset you described about the more better, You were talking about, by definition you can not win, because the condition for winning is you must get more, which means you're not there yet. Is that true?
Audience: Laughter. Major Mark: So, I said, I thought I'll find out all about this, so I went out and I bought one, took it home, I tried to read it. I got about five pages into it, I didn't know what the fuck they were talking about.
Brother Dan: It's the trap of more better. Ross: Who benefits by that trap? The people who are selling you the more better things. So they want to keep you in that mindset. I'm here to break you out of it. So I'm fighting against however many years you've been our culture exposed to this, but in three days, I'm going to do it.
Ross: Laugh Major Mark: Okay? It was like, it's in English but it's a different language. Okay. So I started trying to break the whole thing down because that's what I do. I look for the building blocks of human behavior. And what I found is that there's a code to these things they're written in, and in fact, there's a really, really good guide to this code. There's a book out there called DANGEROUS MEN, ADVENTUROUS WOMEN. Okay. It's a compilation of essays published by University of Pennsylvania and it's all about romance novels, written by the women who write romance novels. And one of the essays in there was absolute gold. Okay? It dealt with what are characteristics, what are the attributes of the romantic hero? And I thought, being a businessman and an astute observer and someone who just loves women, if I could just find out what it is that drives these women to buy this huge number of books. I mean, you go to a bookstore and you see these women flocking into these aisles, you know, I mean, they come in there, it's like a pornography reflex. You know, they're checking out "Is anyone going to see me buying this trash?" Okay? I mean, and it's who you might expect. I mean, it's not the overweight housewives with the three screaming brats or anything. You see the sharp career women in their, you know, their suits and their pumps and their briefcases and all this. And they're coming in and they're buying these romantic fantasies and they're stashing three or four of these into their briefcase at a time. Okay? They're getting their fix. Okay? It's true. You can go in any bookstore. In fact, it's a great way to meet women, is just walk up and say, "Excuse me, you know, say, I'd like to read one of these. Can you tell me which one of them is a really good one?" Cause they all have favorites. Okay? And they come
Audience: Applause. Ross: Thank you. Audience: Applause. Ross: Now, since he talked about attitude, I want to talk a little bit about the proper attitude and the right attitude. Major Mark, would you come up just for a minute? I just, this is my pal. Audience: Applause. Ross: He actually got to see me a tux. It was wonderful, wasn't it? Major Mark: We have photos. Ross: You have photos. Talk a little bit about the attitudes. We're going to do a module here on attitudes. Talk about the attitude of the romantic hero from, from romance novels, would you? Major Mark: Okay, okay. Hi Amy. Ross: She's cool. Major Mark: Well, so are the rest of you. Ross: She's really cool, okay? Major Mark: How many here have heard, read, seen me before so I know where to start? Okay, and the rest of you should. Audience: Laughter. Major Mark: I did a research project because I study
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in different flavors. , There's the soft romance ones, there's the out and out fuck books. You know, I mean, there's and everything in between. Buy anyway, the romantic hero has certain well defined characteristics. For example, the hero of these sorts of things is an adventurer. Okay. He is not a man who is constrained by his life, or by circumstance. Rather, he lives a life of adventure. Okay. Now, it may that you are newly minted accountant or something, and you say, "Well, geez, adventure isn't part of my life.” That's not true. It's the approach that you take to it. Okay? As Dennis was just talking about, are you paying attention? Because the world is speaking to you constantly. The world is constantly putting little tests in your way, saying, you know, is he awake? You know, is he alive? Is he thinking, is he breathing, does he know what is going on? Okay? The adventurer looks at everything with a sense of passion, with a willingness to take risks. Okay? And with this burning desire to find out happens next. The romantic hero is cynical. Okay? Not cynical in the sense of always putting things down. Okay? It's rather, cynical in the sense of hoping for the best but expecting the worst. Okay? Knowing that the world is full of assholes and you're not terribly surprised when you run across yet another one right in front of you. Okay.
Ross: Celic Hard rod. Audience: Laughter Major Mark: Now there's a heroic name. I am Celic Hard Rod. Audience: Laughter Major Mark: He was a fierce Viking adventurer, let's see Ross: Laugh Major Mark: The whole thing involves women bringing out love, conquering through love. Okay? It's what they want to lead with, it's what they want to finish with. Okay? But at the same time, you're disassociated from outcome. Okay? In other words, the romantic hero in these things is not just putzing along, whining, thinking, "I don't have the right suit or I don't have the right Viking boat in order to get the chicks.” Okay, you know? Audience: Laughter Major Mark: Yeah, I need a really big boat. Yeah. Let's go downtown and pick us some oars. But rather, ... Ross: That's going to be in a movie. Audience: laughter
Audience: Laughter
Ross: Do we have a writer in the room?
Major Mark: But at the same time, within the heart of the cynic is someone who is capable of love. Okay? Think about it. Cynicism is a matter of contrasts. Right? You can have the hardened, world weary exterior. Okay? What you have to have, because the world throws things in your way, there's not all good. Okay? But, the cynic at heart is capable of love and passion. And what is more inspirational to a woman than to know that somewhere within this guy is true passion if only she can be the woman who can spark it and bring it out.
Major Mark: He's writing the Speed Seduction screenplay. Ross: You don't have to write, just take notes, it's writing itself for you. Audience: My hand's crippled already. Ross: Laugh Major Mark: That's the hand you use. Audience: Laughter. I have an old friend who's always thinking he going to score if he could just get a hairpiece.
Ross: And that's called a big challenge. Major: Yeah. And they love that. I mean that's doggie biscuits in front of the starving Doberman, you know?
Ross: Yeah. Well, you know, maybe he should get a helmet with horns. It works, it works.
Audience: Laughter
Audience: Laughter
Major Mark: Okay? The romantic hero loves women, appreciates women, is unafraid of women, appreciates them for who they are. Okay? Enjoys their femininity, enjoys the test of wills. Okay? Is willing to accept them within their place, is open to the idea of being conquered because that's the heart of these novels. I mean, it's really an a, b, c type of plot in all these things. I mean, it can be set in Victorian England, it can have, what was that one? Celic Hard Rod?
Major Mark: It worked for you Celic. Ross: That's right. Major Mark: But see, rather, the romantic hero has a life, he is going about his life, and by chance, he encounters this woman, and it's like, woooo, she's interesting, and he starts paying attention. But he doesn't devote all his attention, he doesn't hang
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around, he doesn't keep his Friday night free on the off chance that you know, her bustle's been repaired and she's back in business. Okay? No, he's going about his life and enjoying things as they happen. And he becomes pursued by her. Okay? Key point. In order to have a good life, you have to have a life in the first place. All right? And the more of a life you have, the more attractive you become.
Audience: laughter. What else was under anesthesia? Major Mark: No, it was one of these things that all animals are anesthetized and they go through routine examinations because they're big important investments for the zoos. Okay? And if you're a member of the volunteer society, you get in on stuff like this. So, here I'd met this woman, I think it was at a Ruby Tuesday's. Okay? She was at one these lady luncheons kind of things. I was chatting her up as she was, you know, trotting back and forth between the telephone and the ladies room and all this. And got to know her and said, "Hey, you know, I don't have a lot of time for you right now, "
Ross: And there's a point here because if you have a passion other than her that you're devoted to, she'll work like the devil to get that passion devoted to her. And she'll give you everything she has to get you to devote some of that passion to her. So, look where supplication creeps into your life. Supplication is so much a part of what men are conditioned to do in our culture, that you must constantly check. And I'm going to give you an exercise after lunch to check to see when you're supplicating and when you're not, to make sure that you never do it. But part of supplication is just devoting too much time to being around women, to showing that you're always available. ”Oh, yeah, sure, well call me and let me now what you're doing Friday.” What is that really doing? It's supplicating, it's saying, "Yes, you're the most important thing.” I'm sorry.
Ross: Hold it. Repeat that phrase again. Major Mark: I don't have a lot time for you right now. Ross: Okay.
Yates: This is the end of Side 3 of the Basic Speed Seduction Seminar
Major Mark: When I met Ross and got into this, I had the typical guy reaction about how I don't like rejection. I just don't like rejection. It's not really a guy thing, it's a human thing. Okay? And so, I decided my hard and fast rule was that I would never, never ever ever ask someone out on a date. Instead, I would only invite them to join in something that I was already going to do. Okay? Well, in order to have interesting and tasty things to share with her, I had to get off my butt and go out and find interesting and tasty things to do. So I did things like I joined the volunteer society at the Toledo Zoo. Big zoo, very nice zoo. And I donated some money to the big cat exhibit and got myself invited to do the things like go in for the animal feeding, which is more of a guy thing, you know, rip animals to pieces. But also things like, one of my most memorable seduction tools was I invited this very lovely woman to go with me to the vet center and to pet the snow leopard while it was under anesthesia. Ross: Was that what you call it? The snow leopard? Audience: Laughter Major Mark: Well, we did ... Ross: it's an albino? Major Mark: We did check out the lizard later.
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gallery ad. Okay? Bought the first book, went through it, read it, laughed, got mad. and decided that there were some obvious flaws in his approach. Start taking notes on what was wrong. Okay? Ordered the basic tapes. Okay? I found out all the basic concepts and I thought, "Well, geez, you know, how hard can this be?" Okay? So I memorized a few basic patterns, went out in the real world, walked up to a woman, couldn't remember what the fuck I was supposed to be saying, got all embarrassed, thought, "This is never going to work for me.” Crashed and burned. Okay? Went back to the apartment, thought, "Well, I don't like failure.” Okay? So, I memorized a few more patterns. This time I practiced in the mirror. Okay? Which is kind of a self-love thing, that's not a mistake, but, you know, I was practicing in the mirror, looking, being confident, went out, crashed and burned. Okay? I started getting kind of irritated about this, so, I decided to go out and talk to every woman I met. And for weeks, I would walk up to any woman, anywhere. Okay? I was a menace to society. Okay?
Tape 2 – Side 2 Yates: Welcome to Side 4 of the Ross Jeffries Basic Speed Seduction Seminar.
Ross: And, which is, I mean, well you laugh. These things will come naturally after a little while. If I said, "There's something that I need to do.” "Oh really? What?" "I'm on my way to the zoo. I'm helping out this afternoon and we're doing the annual exam for the snow leopards. They'll be anesthetized, they'll be on the table, and we'll have a chance to interact with the animals, So, if I were to invite you to just drop what you are doing, would you come with me?" "Why, yes.” And we were off to Magic Mark Land. Audience: Laughter. Ross: All rides free. Just one price for admission. You can ride over and over and over again, as much as you want.
Audience: Laughter
Major Mark: That's right.
Ross: As something that we all aspire to. Except you're married now. Gee, but notice, no ring. He's a free-range husband.
Major Mark: I was accosting women in ATM lines, I was trapping them in the produce section at Kroger's, I mean, I was, I was, you know, standing in line and just started talking to the one in front of me, turned around and talked to the one in back of me until I got used to the idea of talking women. And, in fact, on the list, we were discussing this earlier this year. It got to the point where, honest to god, I would look up and see this amazing and beautiful girl and my reaction would be "Oh, fuck, another beautiful girl.” Cause I had to go talk to her.
Audience: Laughter
Ross: Laughing
Major Mark: Sure.
Audience: Laughter.
Ross: Laughing
Ross: This is called willingness. For those of you at home, this is a very important point.
Ross: You know, and since we have you up here and since I consider Mark to be the single most powerful influence on my work and what I've done, I want to ask you a question. You, you were viewed as one of the Speed Seduction gods. Yes? Audience: Yes
Major Mark: Well, she married a hypnotist. She knew what she was getting into.
Major Mark: But the big conceptual breakthrough was I -was out at this place, I think it was a Friday's. Okay? And I was at the bar and, of course, it's noisy, it's smoky, it crowded and all this and I ran some patterns on this one, you know, woman. And she was, she was following along, and she was, "Uh huhing" and I was getting the pupil dilation and all this, but just wasn't a response. Okay? It was a passive sort of thing. Like the more patterns I hit her with, the deeper in she went, but she wasn't coming back out. Okay? So I had another, "Oh, shit" kind of reaction, excused myself, "hi, just thanks, good to meet you, da da da da, " Went on and finished my drink and about 15 minutes later, I go walking out into
Ross: Obviously, when you first learned Speed Seduction, you were just Green Lantern, the Flash and Thor all rolled into one, immediately out of the gate. Major Mark: Instantly. Ross: Instantly. I mean, you didn't go through any kind of learning curve, did you? Major Mark: Oh, just the opposite, just the opposite. Ross: Tell them. Major Mark: I ran across his stuff, it was probably the
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the parking lot cause I was going to go home. Another evening of failure, right? All of a sudden I hear, you know, the distinctive tap of high heels on a hard surface. Okay? I hear, it's well, I'm conditioned to certain things, you know. And hear these, this running feet in high heels coming up behind me and I turn around and here's this girl from the bar, and she launches herself at me, in the parking lot, all over me, sucking my face, I mean, just groping me, just going wild. I'm thinking, "This is cool.”
Major Mark: Okay. And once I started relaxing and saying, "this is who I am, this is what I do, " man, it was like throwing the switch on a nuclear reactor. Everything worked after that.
Audience: Laughter
Ross: He's here all weekend. He's bringing his, and you're going to do, we will do a segment on seducing married women. Okay? Yeah.
Ross: Pretty cool, pretty neat, pretty good, pretty cool. What an amazing thing we do. Any questions for Major Mark? Cause he's going to be back here a lot this weekend. Major Mark: I'm here all weekend.
Major Mark: Maybe this stuff works. The big breakthrough for me was that I, I realized, there's this thing called reframing, which is if you have any attitude, belief, behavior, whatever, and it's not working for you, there's always another way of looking at It that works much better. Okay? And when I was working on his canned stuff, which was more direct and less subtle than it is now, it's true, and, ...
Major Mark: I sleep with a married woman every night. Audience: Laughter. Ross: Now you do. Okay. Thank you Major Mark. Audience: Applause.
Ross: Sure, no problem.
Ross; So, what I want to do before lunch, we're going to take like another 15, take another 15 minutes and then we'll go to lunch. I'm aware that tummies are rumbling and people are hungry and all that. I tracking the room, I've got you all. I want to talk a little bit about ...
Major Mark: and, and, still, it worked like a charm. It wasn't working for me. But rather than say, "This stuff doesn't work, " I said, "Wait a minute. This is working for other guys.” Okay? "What's wrong with this picture?" And I realized I was bringing too much of my old self into the new situation. I was parroting the words without feeling the feelings, thinking the thoughts, and leading the life. Okay? There was a remark earlier about, "Well, you know, didn't you ever tell, " asking this, "Didn't you ever tell the girl what you were doing?" Well, no, he didn't because he wasn't doing something, he was being someone. Okay?
Audience: You said take a break. Ross: No I didn't. Audience: Laughter. _____ another 15 minutes. Ross: I said we'll do another 15 minutes and then we'll go to lunch, but, that's okay. I want to talk about having the proper attitudes, the attitudes that really make this work, the attitudes that really, really drive this material. And, I have these rules that I came LIP With. I was sort of' sitting there one night, going, I heard like Moses, you know, "Thou shallot this. thou blah, blah"
Ross: Say it again. Major Mark: He wasn't doing something, he was being someone. Okay. And so, I decided to stop trying to be a master of speed seduction and, instead, I was just going to BE a master of speed seduction. And if it didn't work at that particular point and time, then it was no big deal. Cause after all, I was a master of speed seduction. And I just started playing around with it. I started doing partial patterns. Okay? I started doing outrageous patterns. Okay? Walk up to married women standing in there with their husbands and start running patterns on them. Okay.
Audience: Sitting there with Your clay tablets. Ross: Yeah. Hmmm, these would make good rules. Oh, you know what? If I play this through here, it won't pick up, will it? Yates: Sure. Ross: If I play the little tape through this,
Audience: Yeah.
Yates?: Go ahead.
Major Mark: They're most well behaved. They rarely hit you.
Ross: Will it be, but will it be Audience: Get a microphone, get a mike over there.
Audience: Laughter
Yates?: Yeah.
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Ross: Well, we're going to test this. Just to give you an example of something.
Okay, so here's a killer. Yes sir. Audience: How do you do that?
?: _____ bigger stereo.
Ross: I'm going to show you, okay?
Ross: What's that?
Audience: Laughter
?: I've got a bigger stereo.
Ross: We're going to show you. So, here's the next, here's the next attitude/rule I want you to get is "being with you, being with you is the best possible thing that could happen to that woman.” Now, is this something you want to talk about? Do you want to say it out loud? "Hey, baby, being with me is the best possible thing that could happen to you.”
Ross: You've got a bigger one? Where? ?: In the trunk of my car. Ross: Ah, go get it. We'll play it after lunch. Good. Okay. So let's get back to attitude. The first, most important rule is "Thou shalt not supplicate.” That's the first rule - thou shalt not supplicate. Okay? Very important rule. Rule 2 "Thou shalt never ask.” Thou shalt, thou shalt not, I want the little finger of fire carving it. Thou shalt never ask, thou shalt only structure opportunities and offer challenges. Now throughout the week we're going to give you specific language, word for word things you can say to do that. Okay? Mark, talk a little bit about the difference, when you structure, what's the difference between asking someone out and structuring an opportunity?
Audience: Laughter Ross: No. You know. Cut this, just for a second would you? ?: I got to believe in those best possible things that you have. Now, you don't _____ it. It shows in your attitude, in your voice, the way you carry yourself, the way you make your approach about any _____ . Ross: The next rule or attitude is
Major Mark: Well, for one thing, if you ask them, they can say no. I never give them an opportunity to say no. That's a bad thing. Okay? There are good things in life, there are bad things. That's a bad thing. Okay. Structuring an opportunity means that if they don't go for it, they miss out. Okay? Structuring an opportunity means that there is something new, different, exciting going on in the world that they could make part of their lives. All they have to do is say yes. If you're asking them something, it's like you are picking an activity, or whatever out of the blue that you think might interest them, you're dangling it in front of them and you're giving them all the power. Right? They can say back, "Well, I don't know, maybe yes, maybe no.” They can slap you around, play with you like they love to do. Okay? And instead, if you're structuring an opportunity, it's this moving window. Okay? It's that cubic centimeter of chance that appears right in front of them and if they say no, it's gone forever. But all they have to do is say yes, and they get great stuff. Get it?
Ross: Okay. So the next attitude or rule is you give a woman a little bit of what she wants and then you pull away and make her work for more. The next attitude or rule is you always give a woman a little bit of what she wants and then you pull away and you make her work for more. That's part of the structure of being a challenge, but also, also what it does is, it gives you more value in her eyes. There's a sick part of human, not sick, it's just human nature, that what you obtain too easily you tend to put a cheap value to. To me something is valuable according to what I can do with it, not how much I have to pay to get it, but I'm, I think I'm exceptional in that respect. So, if you're too available she's going to devalue what you have to offer, so you give a little bit of what she wants and you pull away and you make her work for more. Now, later on in the weekend, pretty soon, you'll see how we incorporate these so you actually don't just think about them, they become who you are. I have very specific techniques to get these inside your mind. Okay? My next one is "I never get rejected, I only discover if a woman has good taste.”
Audience: Yes
Audience: Yeah
Ross: So, you want to make sure that you put in the notion that if they don't take advantage of it, they're going to get screwed over, cause they're going to miss. You understand? Okay. Yes sir.
Ross: I like that one. I never get rejected, I only discover if a woman has good taste. Okay. The next rule is "You always call a woman on her bullshit.” The next rule is "You always call a woman on her bullshit.” Look for the respect opportunity. You always call a woman on her bullshit, look for the respect
Audience: You said where you use being with Ross: Yes, this is next thing we're going to get to.
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opportunity. Let me tell you what I mean by that. Let me tell you what I mean by that. Another way to say it is "Thou shalt prepare in advance for bullshit so thou doest not have to eat any.” So you can write that. ”Thou shalt prepare in advance for bullshit so thou doest not have to eat any.” Cause women will test you, human beings test other human beings, but women will test you to see how strong you are. Now here's the mistake, here are the 2 mistakes to make. Okay? One is to appease her rather than to call her on it. The other is to rage and lose you temper. Now, there's a time and place to, to show anger, but the best thing you can do is calmly tell her what your rule is. Go, "Look, this is what you did, this is what my rule is. If you expect to be with me, do something else the next time cause I won't put up with it.” To do it calmly, if you take a very strong message and you deliver it low key and calmly, people aren't used to that. It fries their circuits and they become very suggestible. You understand?
when a guy who doesn't really know them is being nice, their thought process is, "He's only doing this to get into my pants.” And therefore, what is she perceived? Does she perceive your communication as sincere? Audience: No Ross: She perceives it's insincere so she doesn't trust you, which leads to resentment. Now. Audience: Right. Ross: And she's right. But how many women would ever think that you would be angry with them to get into their pants? If you're angry with them and tell them off, none of them are going to go, "He's saying this just so lie can be, he's being angry just so he can get into my pants.” They're going to go, "Oh, he sincerely communicated with me. I trust him.” Audience: Laughter Ross: You disagree? You agree?
Audience: Yes
Audience: Yeah
Major Mark: If you're reacting out of anger, she has the power.
Ross: You have to think about it, okay. I'm serious.
Ross: Let me give you an example how, there's someone I dated like 8, 8 years ago before I really got into Speed Seduction and I recently ran into her again. And I told her about the Rolling Stones story and she never even bothered to pick it up. And she sent me some e-mail and I said, "No, I don't want to deal with you. Had you had some major breakthrough in your career, I would have gone right to the newsstand to read about it. And you're still the same self-absorbed loser you were when I knew you, you know, 8, 9 years ago and I'm not going to deal with it.” And boy, from then on, she was just so eager to be nice. I didn't, you know, put any profanity in there, it was a simple message, both delivered in e-mail and the phone when she called me to talk to me about it. I said, "No, you're the same self-absorbed loser you were.” I called her on it. Now, here's a weird thing, guys. This is a really sick thing, but it's true. Women want to be able to trust you. They trust what they perceive as being sincere communication, so, look, I didn't say it was sincere, I said what they perceive to be sincere. So, "perceived sincere communication leads to trust which leads to extreme comfort which leads to her to be open to a lot more intense states.” Here's the problem. I want you to really listen to me. You nice guys who've ever done something nice and you find she really rejects you for it and really doesn't trust you, here's why. Pay attention. Here's the structure of it. Look up here. Most women think that
Audience: What's after trust, Ross: Extreme comfort which means they're open to more intense states with you, like sexual arousal and all that other good stuff. Now listen to me. I'm not saying you should rage at them or any, or get vulgar or lose control. Within the bounds of your own selfcontrol, show some anger, when it's appropriate. Tell them off. Major Mark: Right. You're not looking for the first opportunity to slap her around in order to fulfill to checkoff list here, okay? But, just like Celic Hard Rod, who is the cynical, world-weary kind of guy, you expect the worst out of human nature cause you're going to find it and you're not going to accept it in you life. The first time it happens, this. You do have to be angry about it, it's just like, "Okay, maybe you didn't understand so here, explicitly is the rule. I don't put up with this shit. Do it again and I'm out of here.” Ross: I had a massage therapist fail to call me back in time so I booked a massage with someone else. And when she called to see if I wanted a massage, I said, "I already booked. You didn't call me back, I didn't here from you.” She's like really pissed; I could hear her steaming on the other end of the phone. ”Well, well ...” I said, "Hey, you don't return my calls promptly, my assumption is you don't care or you can't do it. So, if you want to deal with me, I don't care what you do with other people, " this is how I said it. I said, "It's
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none of my business what you do with other people. That's for you to decide. But when it comes to me, if you're going to deal with me, this is my expectation. You can meet it or not meet it. But the only way you're going to deal with me is if you meet it.” She's like, "Hmm, hmm, hmm, well, okay.” And by the way, you owe people that. If you don't people what your rules are, they won't know. And they're going to resent you. Now the final one before we go to lunch. Okay? This is a difficult one to grasp at first. It's "Never attach excess meaning.” Let me tell you what I mean by that. You ever wonder, other, other than the fact, there's a lot of ways this, this, this works. Other one, ever wonder, other than the fact that she makes you go, "Uh uh uh uh" with sputtering lust, why guys attach so much meaning to be accepted by a beautiful woman? Let's say there are 2 women at a party. One's something that out of the X-files. Okay? You run away screaming. And then one's an absolute, gorgeous, whatever your idea of the perfect, ideal woman is. Who would be easier to talk to?
everybody's lost. Ross: Hmm. Seinfeld. Not reality. Audience: Laughter Ross: Okay? This is a true story. This is a New Year's Eve many years ago and I went in to the party and, right away, I saw the most beautiful woman and went right up to her, without any hesitation, got her phone number. She left the party. I thought, "My work is done. I'll be nice.” I approach this huge blimp of a woman and I asked, joked around with her, asked for her number, she said, "No, you're not my type.” I was like, "ehhhh.” So, it's one woman, one vote. But the other thing is, you ever meet a woman and you click in really well, you just feel great about her and you go home and you imagine introducing her to all you friends. And you think to yourself, "This is the girl for me.” And you're convinced after that first date or first meeting that she's the one for you. You ever do that? Anyone ever do that? How many of you? Keep you hands up. Of those of you, keep you hands up if you've done that, how many of you were then able to go on and control that relationship and have power and choice in that relationship? Keep your hands up if you were able to do that.
Audience: The X-files girl Ross: The X-files girl? Yeah. Exactly. Audience: There's nothing to worry about. Ross: There's nothing to worry about. And if she likes you, who cares? Her opinion doesn't carry much weight. But here's the thing that men think. Men think that if a beautiful woman likes you, there's some kind of psychic friends network with all the other beautiful women in the world and that means you've got a free pass from there on in. Or, if she rejects you, that psychically, I had some client tell me this. He really believed this. That every other woman in the world would instantly know that he was unacceptable. Okay? This is the structure,
Audience: Laughter Ross: Okay? So, you want to be able to do that with her. Who's a big guy, who, who's, who out-muscles me by a lot? Most of you do. Audience: Hey, Ross. Ross: What? Audience: When that does happen, it's after a big fight. When you're finally tired of it and you go, "Oh, I'm done.” Then, you can go back and have control of the relationship cause you lost excess meaning.
Audience: laughter
Ross: Yeah that's true. Someone's not, you're bigger, come up here, you're bigger than me, come up here. Come up here. We're going to have a fight right now. So, you're a big guy, okay? But here's what I want you to do. I want you to lean forward like this, put on one foot, put one foot in the air, lean for-ward, put your hand all the way out like this and punch me. Okay? I got him. Okay? So, when you do that, when you attach excess meaning, metaphysically, you're leaning forward and you're about to get your head bashed in. Okay? So never attach excess meaning, being successful or not being successful, to any particular woman. Women are like Doritos. Eat all you want, we'll make more.
Ross: This is the structure of paranoia wouldn't you say Dr. Mark? Major Mark: Yeah. It's not a good place to start from. Ross: So, I like to talk about one woman, one vote. I tell this story a lot but Audience: There's actually a Seinfeld episode that _____ . I don't know if you ever saw that. Ross: No. Audience: Now, George dates this beautiful model and he suddenly _____ all the good women in the world. It's like a club he's in and they just are falling all over him. Then, once he loses one of them,
Audience: Laughter
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Ross: Lunchtime.
Audience: No, I'm having a blast.
BREAK
Ross: Okay. You're like, hmm, hmm, you're straining to let one out.
Ross: There, for those of you who are at home was just some phone fun I was having. The whole point being that you want to have fun with this. One of the things I would like to help you install, we're going to work on your self in the next hour or so, is to install the right state of consciousness when you do this. Now a lot of people talk about confidence and I know I've talked about confidence, but to me, the problem with confidence is it's so damn serious. The key to doing this is having fun and being playful as you heard on that tape. The more playful you are, the more blatant you can be. I am absolutely blatant with this stuff. I mean, you know. I was at Mark's wedding, just having a riot of a time. I walked up to this girl; I went, she said, "What are you doing?" I said, "I'm just feeling your aura.” She said, "What?" I said, "I'm feeling your aura.” I went, "You're multi-orgasmic, aren't you?" And she started blushing. I said, "You have a hot date tonight, don't you? There's someone you're looking forward to getting with.” And she's like beet red and turn, ***********************, and
Audience: Laughter Ross: I want to talk about sound. I had a client call me up and he said, he said, "You know, Ross. I don't get it. I practiced this and I've rehearsed it, but when it comes time to use it in the real world, I just can't seem to get myself going.” I said, "Okay. Well, what are you doing to yourself on the inside? I want to be you for a day. Since I don't have your problem, I need to know how you produce it so I can be you. I'm a method actor. I need to know what you do on the inside of your head to get to have to problem.” He says, "Well, I see a pretty girl.” I said, "Well, that's okay. No problem so far.” He goes, I said, "Well, what do you say to y ourself?" He goes, "Ah, " I said, "Stop. Okay? You're dead in the water right there.” Okay? Because the model I want to give you, and whether it's true or not, I don't know, but the model I want to present to you, is that there are different circuits in the mind. And that different sounds turn on different parts of that circuitry. Okay? So, what circuitry do you think he turned on when he went, "Ohhhhh" and he made that sound to himself?
Audience: Laughter Ross: She said, "How did you know that?" I said, "Oh, I can tell.” I know when people have that mindset. I was fucking with her a little bit. so, you have to forgive me. My voice is really _____ . It's from allergies. We have terrible pollen counts in L. A. I want to talk about sound, how sound is vitally important in creating your mindset. This is not something you need to take notes on. This is an experiential part of the seminar, so there's no need for notes. There's no need
Audience: Response Ross: Well, was it the circuitry for bold action? Audience: Responses from audience Ross: Was it the circuitry, was it the circuitry for absolute playful, joyous experimentation. Audience: No Ross: Was it the circuitry for discovery?
Major Mark: Just a second.
Audience: No
Ross: for notes. Audience: Laughter
Ross: What circuitry do you think he turned on inside his mind?
Ross: Huh? Okay. I'm sorry, what was that?
Audience: Failure, supplication
Audience: Response
Ross: Hesitation, supplication, "well ...” You ever ask someone to do something, and they go, "Well ... ?: You ever hear that? Okay. There are certain sounds in the human consciousness that universally open up certain circuits. Both in you and the person you make the sounds to. Of course, this is the sound he's making inside his head. He didn't walk up to her and go, "aaaaahhhh", although he might have at that early of a point in his career before he met me. So it doesn't matter, you know, you see all these books. WATCH YOURSELF TALK. Which is the wrong system. I
Ross: Oh, you're French. Audience: English is not my ... Ross: Ah, se va , se va. I can't speak French worth shit. Audience: Laughter Ross: My English is a little shaky, too. You look intense. You not having fun?
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mean, how can you watch your talk? But if you've ever seen these books it encourages you to pay attention to how you speak to yourself? Yes, no, anybody?
Audience: Yes
Audience: Yes.
Ross: You got it unconsciously. All right, listen, here's what we're going to do. We're going, we're going to have fun. Okay? Here's what we're going to do. You ever watch cartoons?
Ross: I believe him. Okay, cool. It's gone, just kidding. Audience: Laughter
Ross: Well, the problem with it, is they're already too late. The sounds you make on the inside before you start a train of thought - remember when we talked about trains - will determine what track you go on. So, that being the case, one of the things I want to train you to do is to experiment with what, what sequence of sounds produces the right state of consciousness. So when you see that woman, you're there approaching her without any hesitation and the fact you're having fun. Does that make sense?
Andy: When I was little Ross: Yeah. Did you ever watch Rocky and Bullwinkle? Andy: A couple of times. Ross: Okay. Do you know the Rocky and Bullwinkle theme?
Audience: Yes
Andy: No
Ross: Yes?
Ross: Okay. We're going to do it together, okay? Now, when you do it, I want you to make the motions in there, okay? I'm going to hum it for you first. It goes, do you know it Chris, the Rocky and Bullwinkle thing?
Audience: Yes Ross: If it doesn't make sense to someone, please raise your hand. I'm willing to talk to you about it and make it sensible. Cause there may be someone at home equally dull. Just kidding.
Chris: I can't, I can't picture it.
Audience: Laughter
Ross: It goes, da, da, well, you don't picture a theme, you hear it.
Ross: Okay. Does it make sense? So, we're going to have some fun. We're gonna, you're gonna follow me and then we're going to break up into groups and do some experimentation. So, let's see, who is shy about approaching women? Okay? Who else is shy about approaching women? Who's shy about raising their hand here in class?
Audience: Laughter Chris: I can't hear or picture it Ross: All right, okay. It goes da da da da da da, da da da da da da da da, da da da da da da da da ... You know that one?
Audience: Laughter
Andy: Yes
Ross: You. Yeah, what's your name? Come up.
Ross: Okay. So, put your hands out like this. Boy, people will do what you tell them to. It's amazing.
Audience: Andy
Audience: Laughter
Ross: We're going to fuck with you. We're going to fuck you up, Andy. This is the fun part for me, when I get to interact with the chumps, ah, students. Okay. So, how long have you had this problem?
Ross: Okay. I want you to, da da da da da da da, no just your hands, you don't have to move your whole body. Da da da da da da, hum it out loud.
Andy: Most of my life I'd say.
Andy: Da da da da da da
Ross: How old are you now?
Ross & Andy: Da da da da da da ...
Andy: 23
Ross: Open your mouth. Da da da da da da ... like that.
Ross: You ready to get rid of it?
Andy: Da da da da da da
Andy: Yes, I am
Ross & Andy: Da da da da da da ...
Ross: Okay. Sounds good to me. I, do you believe him?
Ross: I feel foolish. Ross & Andy: Da da da da da da ...
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Ross: Okay. Good. Now watch, we're going to do another sound. So that's the first one. So the first just one in the sequence, thank you Brother Brent, just stay there, is Rocky and Bullwinkle. Okay? Okay? Now I want us all to do it. You ready? So, put your, hold that would you? Put your hands up like this and go
Andy: WOW Ross: Very good. Now, so the next sound is WOW. Okay. We're going to do another sound. Is this fun so far? Feel good? Audience: Yeah Ross: Can you put those two together? Let's try it, just you and me.
Ross & Audience: Da da da da da, da ... Ross: Okay. Okay, good. Okay, very good. You're going to think this is a lunatic assignment.
Ross & Andy: Humming Rocky & Bullwinkle theme, Ross: Out loud.
Audience: Laughter
Andy: Humming Rocky & Bullwinkle theme.
Ross: Okay. Feel good? You like that?
Ross: WOW
Andy: Yeah, it was cool.
Andy: WOW
Ross: Okay, now we're going to do another sound. We're going to do another sound. Okay? Can you, can you say, can you put your hand on your chest, put your hand on your chest and you know Amazing Grace?
Ross: Good. Now, next you'll close your eyes, do it inside your head. Do it on the inside, do both those sounds on the inside. You can move your hands if you want to. Good. Okay? Now we're going to make another one, another sound. I want you to look at me a minute. Can you put your teeth together like this? Now can you go UMMMM.
Andy: Yeah Ross: Amazing Grace has got great tits that I would like to squeeze. I'm going to get a piece of it, because I am a sleaze.
Andy: UMMMM Ross: UMMMM.
Audience: Laughter
Andy: UMMMM
Ross: So, hallelujah. I want you to hum Amazing Grace, so you feel it resonating right in there. Hum
Ross: UMMMM Andy: UMMMM
Andy: Da
Ross: UMMM
Ross: No, hum. Hmm
Andy: UMMM
Andy: Humming Amazing Grace
Ross: Good. UMMM, like you're growling. UMMM. Make it come up from here. UMMM
Ross: You hum wimpy. Come on, put it down in there. Humming. Not you.
Andy: UMMM
Andy: Humming Amazing Grace.
Ross: We'll have Kim work with you, okay? She'll work with every UMMM. Very good, okay? Wow. Okay. Now, can you say this? Can you say, "Let's go have some fffff" almost like you're going to say fuck but instead, god dammit, thank you brother, almost you're about to say the word fuck, but instead say fffffun. Can you say fffffun?
Ross: Good. Okay. Now, here's what I want you to do, okay? Can you go, put your hand on there, and go WOW. Andy: WOW Ross: So it resonates in there. WOW Andy: WOW
Andy: Let's go have some fffffun.
Ross: Close your eyes and imagine a woman with the nicest set of gazonkers the galaxy has ever seen. And she just opens up her shirt and plops them into your hands and now go, WOW.
Ross: Okay. Fffffun. Andy: Ffffun Ross: Imagine this. There's a woman standing in front of you. If you say it in the right tonality, her zipper's going to open, her pants will fall off, her legs will open
Andy: WOW Ross: Very good. Look at me. Follow my hands, wow.
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into stirrups, and you'll have your way.
Andy: Humming Rocky and Bullwinkle theme,
Audience: Laughter
Ross: Okay. WOW, UMMM,
Ross: Okay? Close your eyes. Remember a time when you got that feeling right in there that you really wanted to be with someone. And let that feeling guide you as you say "ffffun.”
Andy: UMMM Ross: Let's go have some fffun. Andy: Let's go have some ffffun. Ross: Now how do you feel about going up to talk to her?
Andy: Ffffun. Ross: Fffun. Ahhhh.
Andy: Somewhat better.
Andy: Ffffun
Ross: Yeah, okay. Now we'll try it again. Keep doing that. Close your eyes. Again. Do it real fast, Rocky and Bullwinkle. Do it to yourself on the inside, cause you don't talk out, when you see a pretty girl, you don't say out loud, "Oh my god, I can't meet her.” So do it the way you do it, close your eyes, and to yourself, do Rocky and Bullwinkle, now do WOW, now do WOW, do UMMM, say let's go have some fffun. Yeah. Now how do you feel about meeting her?
Ross: Can you go ahhh, ahhh? Just do that. Ahhh. Andy: Ahhh Ross: Ahhh. Andy: Ahhh. Ross: Ffffun. Andy: Ffffun.
Andy: Probably better than in the first example where I verbalized it.
Ross: Better. He's getting there, okay? Alright. You guys get it? Can you do it with me? So, I want you guys to go, Ummmm. Ready?
Ross: Yeah. Okay. Exactly. That's why I said you've got to lead them to do it in your head. So close your eyes. I, here's what you're doing. You're still sub-vocalizing. Don't, I don't want to see any lips moving, just do it all in your head now, okay? Do it real fast. Now how do you feel?
Ross & Audience: Ummmmm. Ross: And now I want you to say, "Let's go have some ffffan.” Ross & Audience: Let's go have some fffun.
Andy: About the same.
Ross: Okay. Ummmin, let's go have some fun. Now, there's another piece I need to do with him, cause I can spot some things going on with him. Okay, here's what I want you to do. Just to do a little testing, a little calibration for all you NLP junkies ... Okay, and _____ , heel, vocal cords. Here's what I want you to do. I want you to imagine that there's an absolutely stunningly beautiful woman that you have a huge crush on and you want to go up and to talk to her.
Ross: About the same as what? Andy: As the second example. Ross: Yeah, yeah. Okay. So now, close your eyes, go through this again and try to feel nervous about meeting her while you make only these sounds and only these sounds in your head. By the way, when you do Rocky and Bullwinkle, you move your body a little bit. Yeah. Do it real fast, real fast. Yeah. This is it, _____ one of them back. Now, how do you feel about meeting her?
Andy: Just imagine it? Ross: Yeah, imagine it. Imagine what you do in your head and feel what you feel if you had to go talk to her. Okay. That's not that severe. All right. So we don't need to work with that. All right. Here's what I want you to do. Close your eyes. I want you to do Rocky, I want you to see that girl and I want you to do Rocky and Bullwinkle, then go WOW, then go UMMM, put your teeth together, go UMMM, UMMM.
Andy: A little bit nervous. Ross: A little bit nervous. Are you doing anything besides these sounds? Andy: You're thinking about how nervous ... Ross: Oh, I didn't tell you to do that. I said just do these sounds. All I want you to do is do these sounds and these sounds only. Push anything else out of your head. Just do these sounds. Imagine she's there in front of you. Okay? Close your eyes. Run through the sounds real fast. Now,
Andy: Humming Rocky and Bullwinkle theme, Ross: Humming Rocky and Bullwinkle theme,
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Andy: Now I'm ready to meet her.
Ross: Okay. And then in what direction does it move? Show me with your ...
Ross: Now you're ready to meet her.
Andy: The same, like the same direction you were ...
Audience: Laughter. Response from audience.
Ross: Okay. And where does it go when it leaves?
Ross: Right. Okay. Now, how long did that take? Now watch this. Whistling. Now try to feel nervous. But only do those sounds in your head. Close your eyes, go through the whole sequence again real fast, humming Rocky and Bullwinkle theme, WOW,
Andy: When it leaves? Ross: Yeah. Andy: Up past the hand.
UMMM, let's go have some fffun. Now, how do you feel?
Ross: Okay. Now, I want you to do something. This is going to be really weird, but I'm going to ask you to do it. I want you to take those feelings and move them out here like three feet away from your body. Okay?
Andy: Same as last time. Ross: Good. Right. Now, the interesting thing about feelings is how they can get better and better and better and better the more your mind recognizes there's a new direction to move in. And the thing is, is once you set yourself in the direction that feels good, it like, if you try to go back in the old direction, it's like there's a plate of glass here, bulletproof glass, that keeps you from getting to any of that. So all you can do is look straight ahead, make those sounds in your mind, and if you even try to go back to old feelings, what happens?
Andy: Okay. Ross: Move them out here. Can you move them out here for a minute? Okay. See them going in the same direction, then I want you to take your hand and backslap them, like, boom, really hard. Boom, make the sound. Do it with that hand, slap them out with that hand. Boom. Do it again, do it again. Now try and get the feeling back. Andy: I can't do it. Ross: Yeah, well try harder.
Andy: You can't.
Andy: Try harder?
Ross: I didn't hear you. Say it again.
Ross: Yeah. Now close your eyes, close your eyes and make the sounds, Rocky and Bullwinkle, WOW, UMMMM, and notice how good this feels. SHHHH. That's weird, isn't it?
Andy: You can't do it. Ross: Well, try harder. You're not trying hard enough. Andy: You'll still have the, the new feelings and stuff.
Andy: _____ difference.
Ross: Well that sucks,
Ross: Now, now, how long have you, did you have the problem?
Audience: laughter Ross: Oh, now, watch this. I want you something else about you. I want you to get a little bit of the nervous feeling back again. Just a little bit. Okay? Okay? Where do you feel the nervous feeling in your body?
Andy: About 22 years Ross: How long did it take for us to do it, was anyone timing that?
Andy: Where do I feel it? Ross: Where in your body? Point with your finger.
Audience: About 12 minutes.
Andy: Would it be ...
Ross: Twelve minutes? I'm slow, cause my voice hurts and I'm a little tired.
Ross: Point.
Audience: Laughter
Andy: Around here, in my arms and shoulders and stuff.
Ross: Well, I am. I'm a little slow. But, okay. Now, you have to practice with this. If you practice these sound sequences, we're going to show you more, this is just the start of building the states, so give him a hand.
Ross: Okay. Okay. I want you to show me the direction the feeling goes. Is the feeling, where does it start?
Audience: Applause.
Andy: It starts at the end of the fingers
Ross: Okay.
45
Audience: Hey, Ross.
action. You okay? Does that make sense?
Ross: Oh, uh, ... I'm only warming up and I'm not exaggerating or kidding. I'm not, I'm really not. Okay. So take that. So, we're going to work with these sound sequences. Here's what we're going to do. I'm going to take you, the entire group through this, and then what we're going to do is we're going to break into groups of 2 and you're going to test to see which, everyone's different. You may find that a different sequence works with these. Okay? This is my own personal sequence that I do, so when I'm out bopping around, I going (Rocky and Bullwinkle theme), I see a woman I like, I go WOW, UMMM, let's go have some fun, and I'm there. Okay? Now, let me ask you a question. Before we go through that, what circuitry do you think the Rocky and Bullwinkle theme opens up?
Audience: Yes. Ross: All right. So here's what we're going to do. We're going to go through it as a group, together, one time, and then what we're going to do is, we're going to break up into groups of 2, a and b, a and b, a and b, and we're going to test each, we're going test different combinations. Okay? So, let's do it together. Put your notes down. All right? So, we'll start with Rocky and Bullwinkle. Okay? Ross & Audience: Rocky and Bullwinkle theme, and now, WOW, and then UMMM, let's go have some ffffun. Ross: Yeah, good. Okay. Here's what we're going to do. We're going to try the following sequences, okay? We'll start out with that one, so the first one is RB, WOW, UMMM, let's go have some. Okay? That's sequence number 1. Now's the time to take notes. So, that's the first sequence you're going to test.
Audience: Responses from audience Ross: Playful. Why is it important to be playful? What happens if you're really serious? Audience: Response from audience
Yates: This is the end Side 4 of the Basic Speed Seduction Seminar.
Ross: You shut down your resources, you attach too much meaning, you scare them off, all bad outcomes. All bad outcomes. What does WOW do? Audience: Responses from audience Ross: I think it opens up the sense of excitement, Audience: Responses from audience Ross: Excitement, amazement. Audience: It definitely opens up Ross: Excitement, energy, Audience: Response from audience Ross: Adventure. Particularly adventure. Now what does UMMM? Audience: Response from audience Ross: I think UMMM is more the predator, so like when you see a piece of chocolate cake and you know you're about to eat it, it's like, UMMMM. You're mine. So it opens up the predator. And what's let's go have some fun? What does that get you to do? Audience: Response from audience Ross: Get's your ass moving. Now, I want you to notice I sent the, the little piece of language in here. Did I say, I should go meet her or you should go meet her?" I said, "let's" as in let us, that means, it implies that every part of you is working together to take the
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and let's go. Okay? We're going to make, keep let's go the last one for each of them, okay? How's that? That'll limit it. Yes.
Tape 3 – Side 1 Yates: This is the beginning of Side 5 of the Basic Speed Seduction Seminar with Ross Jeffries
Audience: Response from audience Ross: How many does that limit it to? Audience: Response from audience
Ross: By the way, for those of you at home who, of course, couldn't see what I did with, what was your name sir?
Ross: Okay. Let's try, number 4 will be WOW, UMM, RB, let's go have some fun. We'll do, we'll do a total 6 or should we do how many?
Andy: Andy Audience: Can you do all six? Ross: Andy. Yeah, Andy looks different already. What you couldn't see with Andy is I took him back to when he was having, I had him push it out 3 feet away from his body and I had him knock it away with his hand and he found that feeling couldn't come back. Try and get the feeling back. Look,
Ross: Do all six? What's the next one? My math skills are pretty shaky. RB, UMM, WOW, let's go, and what's number 6? Audience: UMM, other responses Ross: UMM,
Andy: Knocking it away? Audience: Responses from audience Ross: Try and get the feeling of being nervous again. Try and get it back. Ross: You can't do it. You didn't see the look of amazement on his face. That's the cool thing. You're missing the best thing about what I do is that look of amaze, astonishment. See, that's why I do, this is why I do what I do. It's the look of absolute astonishment that they can't have the problem that they had for 22 years. This is the start of destroying the reality, cause part of what I'm doing, what Mark and I do the whole week, the whole weekend, is a structured assault upon people's limiting beliefs. If everyone here can sit here and see that he had a problem for 22 years and now it's gone, he can't even have back, then it's a real, begin to take one leg of that table and knock it out. It's an assault is what it is. But you have to do that to get people out of their muck. Okay. So that's the first one. It's a fun assault and no one gets hurt, but it's an assault. Okay. That's the first combination. Second one, let's try WOW, Rocky and Bullwinkle, UMM, and let's go. Okay? That's the second one. Does everyone get that?
Ross: RB, WOW, let's go. We'll keep let's go as the last one. Okay? Here are the instructions. Put your notes down. These are simple instructions. You're going to pick a partner, a and b. Okay? We're going to get an E meter out for each one of you. No, no, no. Audience: Laughter. Ross: Just kidding. Suppress a person order. Ross Jeffries does hereby declare this suppress a person, maybe trick, no I'm just kidding. Copyright 1998, Religious tech ... no. Okay. Here's what we're going to do. We're going to pick a partner a and b. A is going to hold the list and he's going to, he going to tell the person the first combination to do. So you're going to say okay, I want you to do combination one. And the combination is Rocky and Bullwinkle, WOW, UMM and let's go have some fun. Okay? Tell the person what the combination is, you don't have to do it for him. Okay? Just tell him, here's combination one, do it in your head. Tell the person to do it in your head and have them notice what their response is, how it makes them feel. Okay? Then you go, okay, let's move on to number 2. Number 2 is WOW, tell them, number 2 is WOW. Rocky and Bullwinkle, UMM and let's go have some fun. Run them through each one and let them decide at the end which one makes them feel the most ready and the most able to go and actually go up and talk to that woman. All right? Write it down, write down the combination that works the best for them. All right? And then switch sides and the other person does it to you. Do you understand?
Audience: Yes Ross: We're going to try every possible combination. I don't know how many we'll have here; I'm not a mathematician. Huh? Audience: 16 Ross: How many? Audience: 24 Ross: Okay. We'll just try a few of them then. Okay? Okay, let's try this one. Let's try UMM, WOW, RB,
Audience: Yes
47
Ross: Who does not understand? Take about 15 minutes or so to do this. Find a partner and let's get going.
Which combination? Audience: Three and four. Ross: Three and four. Oh boy, your brains are flexible, finding lots of ways to work for you. Good, I like it. You're not going to believe what I'm going to do next; you're just not going to fucking believe it.
Audience: Practicing combinations Ross: _____ mentioned the different things and it's your dials to twiddle. There is no right or wrong answer here. So, what I'd like to do is, raise your hands if you're one of the people when I asked are you shy about meeting women. Raise your hands if you raised your hand at that time. Okay. Those, I know you're, let's hear, keep your hands up. What combination works, worked best for you?
Oral Roberts has nothing on me. Audience: Laughter Ross: Who else? Audience: His name is Oral?
Audience: The fourth.
Ross: That's true.
Ross: Number 4.
Audience: Laughter.
Audience: Uh, yeah.
Ross: Yes.
Ross: So we have a vote for number 4.
Audience: Response from audience.
Audience: WOW, UMM, Rocky and Bullwinkle let's go.
Ross: But, you didn't have your hands raised as shy. Yeah, you don't count. Only the shy people, who are the people, who else had their hand up? Okay. We're going to have some fun. Watch this. All the shy, all the people that had their hands up, come up to the front of the room. And line up, no you don't need to bring your notes. Just remember which combinations worked best for you, face the room. Line up shoulder to shoulder. Okay?
Ross: Okay. Another person out there shot a hand up. What combination? Audience: Same one. Ross: Four? Okay. Someone else who had their hand up. Sir? Audience: Number 1.
Audience: Response from audience
Ross: Number I worked best for you? I want you to remember which combinations worked best for you. Who else, one of the shy people, which one worked best for you? Audience: One and six. Slightly different
Ross: All right. Audience: Question from audience Ross: It doesn't matter. Can we, can you move down a little bit, you want scooch down out of the way. Move, move, move, I'm going to position, move, move, move, move, move, move, move. You got it? Are you okay there? Can you, you can sit if you want to.
Ross: One and six. Okay. So, okay, another formerly shy person that had their hand up? Sir, which worked best for you? Audience: Three
Audience: I'll bring some chairs up for you.
Ross: Three? Okay.
Ross: Three. Okay. Which one?
Ross: No, if that's more comfortable, you sit. You do whatever you want. All right? It's important that you be comfortable.
Audience: Six-way tie
Audience: Okay, there was a gentleman,
Ross: They all worked?
Ross: You sit. Move the chair over here for him in front of the TV so he can sit comfortably. You're going, "What the fuck is he up to?" I always tell Yates, "I'm going to surprise you this time.” All right. Here's what we're going to do. All right. Do you remember what combinations worked best for you? All right. Okay. We're going to do our multiple group
Audience: Three.
Audience: They all had the same effect. Ross: A good effect? Audience: Yeah, yeah. Ross: Someone else who had their hand up before.
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shyness cure.
and do your sounds. Close your eyes and disappear the room and do it. WOW. There you go, that's better. Okay. Do yours. Try and feel shy, do your sounds. No, he can't get anywhere near shy. Go ahead.
Audience: Laughter Ross: First, what we're going to do one piece. I want you to get a little bit of that shy feeling. So get a little bit of the shy feeling and notice where it starts in your body. Okay? Take it, put it three feet in front of you, and go, Boom, backhand it real hard. Boom. Everyone do that. So figure out where it is in your body, put it three feet out in front of you, and go Boom it away.
Audience: laughter Ross: Try it. You all right? Audience: A little bit. Ross: A little bit shy? Okay? Watch this. That's all right. Watch, watch this. Take the, where's the shy feeling start?
Major Mark: They go, uhhhh. Ross: Oh, get Out Of the way
Audience: Right here.
Audience: Laughter
Ross: Where does it go?
Ross: No, don't do push, go Boom. Boom, make the noise. Okay. Now close your eyes, everyone close your eyes, and to yourself, on the inside, do the combination of sounds that works best for you. To yourself on the inside, do your combination of sounds that works best for you. Run through it three times really fast. Okay. And you've run it three times really fast, nod your head. Okay. Now I want you to imagine there's one super-hot woman across the room and whoever gets to her first gets her. Everybody's going, okay?
Audience: Up Ross: Okay. Put it, put it out here, put it three feet out in front of you. Boom, you almost backhanded me. Audience: laughter Ross: Now. That's all right. I'll take the sacrifices of what's required to help him. Now try and get it. Do your sounds and now try and feel shy. Audience: I feel a lot better. Ross: Yeah. A lot better. Okay. There you go. And while you're waiting for it to be your turn, I only want you to rehearse the sounds. That's all I want you to keep practicing. Go ahead. Try hard and vain to feel shy as you do those sounds.
Audience: Yeah. Ross: All right. Audience: Cheers and applause. Ross: Okay. Now. Okay. Try to feel shy but do your sound sequence.
Audience: I still feel a little shy. Ross: A little" flow much?
Audience: Can't do it.
Audience: Urn, 20%.
Ross: Try to feel shy but do your sound sequence.
Ross: Okay. Where's the feeling?
Audience: Can't do it. A little.
Audience: It's kind of right in here and everything goes into it.
Ross: Boom. And do your sound sequence. You all right?
Ross: Okay. Put it out in front of you, watch my hands. So it goes like that?
Audience: Yeah. Ross: I don't believe you. So, take the feeling, put it out here. This is not about making me right; it's about serving you. Put the feeling out here. What direction, where's the feeling start?
Audience: Right. Ross: Watch, watch, watch. Boom. Now try and get it back.
Audience: Response
Audience: Should I try and get what back?
Ross: What direction does it go?
Ross: Try and get it back and see what happens.
Audience: It just stays there.
Audience: I think remnants, most of it's gone.
Ross: Okay. Watch. Put it out here. Ready? Boom. That's right. See how he changed? Now try and feel it. Now try to feel nervous. Do your sounds. Look up
Ross: Okay, now do the sounds. Now try to feel shy while you're doing the sounds. Audience: Response
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Ross: Moves down there?
Audience: I'm going to do the sounds.
Audience: Well, I don't know. I guess it was kind of all in this area and so the part up here was gone, but now there's a little bit.
Ross: Ah, it makes sense to me, too. Audience: Laughter. Ross: Okay. You stay here cause I'm going to fuck you up good. Everyone else sit down.
Ross: What, what do you think you should do with it then?
Audience: Laughter
Audience: I should probably bring it out, - it,
Ross: This is what's fun for me. You know, I pound on people. Sharp, ... Okay. So, sit up straight. Do your sounds, we'll see just who, close your eyes, do your sounds. Which combination works best for you?
Ross: Well, do it Audience: Slap it. Ross: Do it, do it.
Ross: Three? Okay, do them. I need my chair. Then why did you hand them to me for? I don't need it. All right. Sometimes more efficient means I'm required to get cooperation from the _____ , ya? All right, stop don't feel good. Stop it. Okay. So, so what happens when You do your sounds?
Audience: laughter Ross: Do it. Now what? Audience: I feel better. Ross: Yeah. Okay. There's still a little bit there, but we'll find ... Okay. Now you do it. Do your sounds. He looks a lot like you, Yates. That's kind of scary.
Audience: I still feel shy. Ross: Good. All right. Cool. Show me where you feel It. I want to be shy like you, so where does it go? Audience: Right here and it goes down.
Audience: Laughter ?: Lucky you. Ross: Well, try and feel shy.
Ross: Right here? Is it on the surface of your skin, where, how deep does it go'!
Audience: Shy?
Audience: I don't know, about, maybe about half way through my body cavity.
Ross: Yeah. Can you feel shy while you do your sounds?
Ross: Half way through your body cavity? Shit, okay. Let me try that. I'm not making fun; I'm going to be him. Wow, does that, does it make you kind of dizzy?
Audience: What does that mean? Ross: Ah, good. He's got it. Okay. You do it. By the way, hands in pockets is an apology, so take your hands out of your pockets, There you go.
Audience: Yeah.
Ross: Do your sounds. Humming. The combination that works best for you. And as you're doing the sounds, try to feel shy.
Ross: Yeah. Yeah, it made me dizzy, too. Well, I'm in his body doing it. Okay, here's the first step. What I want you to do is take that feeling. I'm not going to, close your eyes. I'm not going to ask that feeling to change any faster than you can do something. Take it and only put it one-quarter of the way into your body cavity. So instead of making it go halfway through, same feeling, same, same direction, but only a quarter. Now you probably couldn't make it only an eighth of the way into your body cavity.
Audience: It's difficult to do.
Audience: No, not at all.
Ross: Yeah. Difficult what? To do the sounds or to feel shy?
Ross: Huh?
Audience: I'm still shy. Ross: Still shy? Okay. We're going to do something with you, cause you're doing something else. So, you hold on there. You try it. Audience: What do I do first?
Audience: Yes.
Audience: To do the sounds and feel shy at the same time.
Ross: Okay. Now I bet you're probably not capable of just putting it on the surface of your skin. Cause then you might imagine a shower washing it off. Sssssss. What's the sound of a shower running, cleaning and
Ross: Exactly. That's my whole point. So what are you going to do? Feel shy or do the sounds?
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cleansing you? That's right. Just rub it right off the surface of your skin. What can happen IS You can grow a new skin that keeps it from ever going back. Sssss. Animals molt, did you know that? Animals, as they grow, molt and leave their old skin behind. They grow a new skin that fits the new animal that's larger, stronger, more powerful, more mature. Once upon a time, there were two caterpillars crawling along the ground, happy to be caterpillars. And they saw the shadow of something from overhead. And they looked up and it was a butterfly. And one caterpillar said to the other, "You'll never get me up in one of them dangerous things.”
and over again, cause that would be bad. All right. Audience: laughter Ross: Here's what we're going to do with you, my good friend. What's your name? Audience: Jason Ross: Jason. Jason and the Argonauts. I like that. Okay. Can you remember a time, I want you to close your eyes, and remember a time when you were just feeling ecstatically wonderful. It can be any experience. I'll give you an example of an experience I think of when I first did this. Kimmy and I, back when we were dating, we went to Alaska. And we went fishing. And after we caught our salmon. she caught a salmon the size of her body. She's only four foot ten, so, I have a picture of her holding that. We went whale watching. We got within about 150 feet from a humpback whale nursing its baby. And we went, we were, ah, ah, ah, we couldn't even talk. And then it turned around and it ponged the boat with its sonar. Pong. And we were like, ahhhh. I'm telling you, one of those. So, remember a time when you just felt so ecstatically wonderful you couldn't fucking believe it. I have a, I'm getting psychic stuff for him now. I'm not kidding. I'm serious about this. Do you ever use somatic expressions to describe how YOU feel, like "It's a pain in the ass" or "it makes my skin crawl,"?
Audience: Laughter Ross: Okay. Now. Open your eyes, close them, rapidly. Open, close, open, close, keep them closed. Now, try and get the feeling halfway into Your body cavity. Notice what happens with it. What happens with it? Audience: It won't go. Ross. Where does it go now? Audience: It feels like it's kind of mushing up against me, or like ... Ross: That's right. Now, then when you take your hand ... First of all, put it three feet away from you, take your hand and really backhand real strong and go Boom out loud as you do it.
Jason: Sure.
Audience: Boom.
Ross: Yeah. Or, "you've got, I've got her, she's under, she really got under my skin" or that kind of stuff?
Ross: No, what happens when it tries to come back? Hit it again if you have to.
Jason: Not so much, yeah, pain in the ass.
Ross: Now get the feeling back and see what happens. Try and get it back.
Ross: Pain in the ass. Yeah. You, I bet you use a lot kinesthetic sensations to describe the states. Okay. Did you ever have an injury to your upper back or neck area?
Audience: It doesn't seem to be coming back.
Jason. - Yeah.
Ross: That's right. But we're going to fuck him up. I promised I'd fuck him up, so I'm really going to fuck him up. Well, you put yourself in the seat, so now you're in for it.
Ross: Yeah, uh huh. This side?
Audience: Boom
Jason: In the, yeah, in the center. Ross: Yeah. Yeah. Were you like somewhere between 5 and 7?
Audience: Laughter
Jason: No.
Ross: Cause now that he can't feel bad, I'm going to show him how to feel wonderful. Don't you, watching by unconscious example, learn to do this to yourselves. It's only for him. I do not want your unconscious mind, the part of you that sleeps and dreams, the part of you that beats your heart and breathes for you, to begin to do this for yourself, so that you can do it in a dream tonight, over and over
Ross: How old were you? Jason: I was 21. Ross: Okay. Well, I got the number wrong. You didn't have something when you were ... So, okay, if you were 21, 20, then I'll just say, how old are you now?
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Jason: 24
you couldn't do it. My view is to like, you're in a wrestling match or boxing match and someone's been beating the snot out of you and you get tag me. I get to climb in the ring and beat the holy, fucking, living shit out of this thing that's been tormenting you, you know, and just show it no mercy. Break its back. I hear its bones crunching as it expires in its death rattle. You know, I stomp its face into curve. I like it. It's nice and hostile.
Ross: Okay, so it's close to being 21, 20, around that area. I'm doing the math wrong. But, okay, five years, I get five and seven for some reason, so maybe that's how old the injury is. I don't know. Audience: Maybe it's the vertebra number. Ross: Maybe it's the vertebra number. I don't know. But I'm getting five or seven. Okay. Okay. Now I'm really in with him, so I'm going to zap, there are a lot of ways I can do this. I can fuck with you so many ways. I have many ways to hurt you. Okay. Okay. Close your eyes. I want you to remember, remember that situation, see what you saw, hear what you heard, feel how it felt. Yeah. I want you to notice where that ecstatic, wonderful feeling starts on your body. Where does it start? Okay. And show me where it goes as it continues. Show me the direction with your hand, don't tell me verbally, show Inc. It rises LIP like that. And then where does it go? In that kind of, so it rises up, circles around Your head in that direction. Then where does it go?
Audience: laughter Ross: If you're going to be hostile, be hostile in a direction that serves people, right? That's way I say. Okay. Audience: Nuclear bomb Ross: What's that? Audience: Nuclear bomb Ross: That's right. That's why I showed you that. Audience: Response from audience. Ross: That's why I showed you. So, one of the things I want you to draw from this is not that I'm some kind of miracle worker, because there's a structure to what I do. What I want you to get is you can learn to do this for yourself. Remember what I said. Granted that a woman is going to put you altered state, why not design in the altered state you're going to go into. Does that make sense?
Jason: It just stays there. Ross: Okay. I'm going to show you how to do something. you ever see a loop-de-loop on the roller coaster? Whoo, whoo. Okay. I want you to start it going, make it circle around your head, then bring it back through here, and get it going again. Okay? So circle around your head, and then, put it right back through here, loop it through here and start it going again. Okay? And loop it real fast, over and over and over again Yeah, that's right. A little bit faster. Faster. Faster. Faster. Now you don't have to have a lot sensory acuity to know that he feels good, right?
Audience: Yes Ross: Now watch this. I'm not done. We're going to play a little game. We're all going to go to the movies. Sound fun? Audience: Yes
Audience: Laughter
Ross: All right. How many people have ever, oh my God, how many people ever been, do they have electronic stores here like Circuit City, Good Guys, what do they have in Chicago?
Ross: Faster. Oh, UMM, UMM, add in the sound UMM, UMM, to yourself. Make it a female voice, oh, umm, heavy breathing. And now, to yourself, I want you to allow a word to come into your mind that describes this state. Don't tell me what that word is. Okay? Open your eyes, Close them. Okay, now. I want you to imagine there's a beautiful woman in front of you, say that word to yourself. Now, try to feel nervous and bad. That's why I get paid the big bucks. Okay, go sit down. Give him a hand.
Audience: Yes. Ross: All right. Well, Best Buy, that kind of thing. I went to buy a TV and they something called pip picture in a picture. So this is for you real fucking TV addicts. You can watch the Bulls game here, here's Babylon Five, over here is the tit channel,
Audience: Applause
Audience: Laughter
Ross: I was telling Chris out in the hall that one of the metaphors I used is the guys are in, You guys come in, you've had this, you know, this problem your whole life and you've tried your best to work out and
Ross: Here's Disney, CNN, the Discovery Channel, thank god you can only hear one sound channel, but ... Okay. This is, and I have one on mine where you can switch them around, so you can put this one in
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the center, this one comes down here, that one goes over there. You understand what I'm saying?
Chris: About a year ago. Ross: Okay. All right, Here's what I want you to do. Make a picture in your mind of anything. All right, Now, I want to make a point. I'm not picking on him, but, there's a, there's different physiologies associated with different circuitry and different tasks that you give your brain to do. That, if you notice his posture, he's kind of like hunched forward. Okay. This is a posture for accessing feelings. It's not a very good posture for visualizing, so sit up straight, that's right, look up, tilt your head to the side, look up. Now close your eyes but keep your eyes turned upwards. And now, can you make an image of a golden triangle? Breathe from up here. Breathe high and shallow up there.
Audience: Yes Ross. - It's not enough to be sucking on the glass tit, You have to have, you know, the whole thing going. So, we're going to play a little game. Doesn't this look, who's Jewish? Doesn't this look like an ark? Audience: Laughter Ross: Buzzo ta to rah. We're now going to read from the book of Moses. Okay. So, here's what we're going to do. I want you to imagine that your mind, that your mind, I want you to imagine your mind is like a giant movie screen. Okay? Can you do that? Now, by the way, who here has trouble visualizing? Okay. All right. We're going to fuck with you guys later, too. But for now, what I want you to do is imagine you can visualize. Now, for those of you who can't, who's having trouble visualizing? What's your name sir?
Chris: I can imagine a triangle Ross: Yeah Chris: but I can't really see it clearly.
Audience: Chris
Ross: Well, how do you imagine something you can't see? I don't get it. flow do you know, if you can't see, how do you know you're imagining it?
Ross. - Chris, come up. Oh boy, Ross is going to fuck me up.
Chris: I can see things in a dream state, like when I'm in a conscious state, I just sort of know what the triangle looks like.
Audience: Laughter Ross: By the way, does anyone have anything for the throat, like lozenges or ... No, I need something stronger. What do you have? Huh
Ross: Oh, dream state, huh? Really? Hmm, that's very interesting to me. A dream state. Well, can you, how, how quickly can you close your eyes. Go into that dream state. If you were to put the dream state in your right hand, turn your right hand palm up, put the dream state in your right hand. Feel it like a ball of energy. You ever hold a breast implant in your hand, or a piece of meat or ... ? I'm serious, feel it, feel the weight of it, the shape of it. Turn this palm up. Over here, I want you to feel your normal waking state. Now begin to slowly bring those two hands together, very slowly. Such that any ability in one is accessible from the other. Any ability in the other is accessible from the one. You're not sure exactly what that means. That's right, but keep doing it. What color is the energy ball in that hand?
Audience: I got some Ross: Will it help? Audience: Yep. you can suck on. Ross: Get it. By the way, Mark is someone's who's made tremendous improvements, hasn't he? He really has. I can't believe it, man. We are fucking miracle workers. Audience: Response from audience Ross: Lazarus, come out of the tomb. Yeah, we do, but he's doing, he's doing much better. World's better. All right. What's your name?
Chris: It just a bright silver.
Audience: Chris
Ross: What color is this one?
Ross: This your first time here?
Chris: Colorless.
Chris: No.
Ross: That's right. Now watch this. (Blowing) Let some of the color from that one go into this one. Pull your hands back apart. How much of the color went into that one?
Ross: You've been to other seminars? Chris: I've been to one. Ross: When was that?
Chris: 20%
53
Ross: Pour more in. Take your hand and pour more in. How much more is in there now?
Ross: And if I, if you do dream about it, I give you amnesia so you won't remember you've dreamt about it. You'll just find yourself doing it. Okay. Time for a 5 minute break.
Chris: 30 or 40%. Ross: Okay, you get it 50/50. Get close but don't let yourself get it all the way. All right. Now, put this hand down, this hand down, keep this one up. Put that on your forehead. Flatten your hand, take a deep breath, now see a gold triangle clearly.
Audience: Response from audience Ross: Let's talk about initial pickups. I'd like to jump back and forth between things. Its called fractionation. So each t1me we go back to a topic, the topic gets reinforced better, rather than if we just did one thing all the way through, finished, and went to the next one. Plus, it makes it more fun for me. Now, I think the most important thing to do when you're actually making your initial approach is to be outrageous. When I build a state, I want to build a state that's outrageous, engaging, cocky, and outgoing. Those are my qualities I like to build in. Now, you'll notice, nowhere in here, nowhere in here, nowhere in here did I say serious. Okay? I want to have fun. So, you're not going to believe this, but I'm going to show you a really great technique for meeting women who look bitchy or in a group of girls. Okay? What if some of toughest situations, how about a great looking woman who's stunning. She's got like a very unfriendly look don't talk to me manner. Would you like to learn how to get that one every time?
Chris: Yes. Ross: You see it clearly? Chris: Yes Ross: Okay. Now, how quickly can you turn that gold triangle into a gold square? Or maybe it will turn itself into a gold square. Snap. By the way, notice if you want more visualization energy, it goes right from this hand and flows into that one and let's you see more. You see the gold square? Chris: Yes Ross: Oooh, notice what it's like when it turns into a gold circle. Chris: It takes a while, but yeah. Ross: Yeah, isn't that cool? How big can you make that circle? How big can the circle make itself?
Audience: yes
Chris: It's all around me.
Ross: Okay. I'm going to show you. What about, there's a group of like 5 or 6 girls standing there and you don't know how to introduce yourself, would you like to get that one?
Ross: All around you, huh? What would it be like that, if the color of that circle began running all through your body? Ooh. What would it be like if suddenly you sprouted gold angel wings? What would that look like? Put the ... All right. Now go back into your seat. Okay. Now, I have no idea what I just did. I was making it up. I was. Based on some things he was showing me. Remember when I said, when I asked him what color is, the one in this hand, didn't I tell you, I said no color? Did you see me mouth it? And what did he say?
Audience: Yes Ross: You're not going to believe me. Audience: Response from audience. Ross: Oh, that's fine. Pelone, have you seen me do this? Pelone: Oh, yeah.
Audience: No color.
Ross: Have any of you seen me do it? Okay. Here's what you do. You're not going to believe it. Okay? I swear to you, this is what works. I swear to you.
Ross: Cause I was right in his head with him, seeing it as he was seeing it. Yeah. Audience: Were you trying to connect the two hemispheres of his brain with that?
Audience: Responses from audience. Ross: Well, try it. We're going to show you how to do it. Okay? So, imagine there's really hot h. b. with a don't bother me, I'm in a hurry thing. Okay? Here's what I'll do. I'll walk up and go, "Excuse me, princess, excuse me. Darling I am so sorry to interrupt you but you are so precious. What is your name, you big, little goddess you? Oh my god, my name is Ross. You
Ross: That's what I was doing. Urn hm. Yeah. I wouldn't quite put it that way, but that's what I was doing. So anyway. So, these are all things that you won't dream about tonight. I forbid you. Audience: laughter
54
know, I must tell you, I hope your man is nicer to you than my man is to me, cause men can be such p-r-i-c-k pricks, can't they? My man is a prick with a capital K.”
did you? Pelone: I had no clue. Ross: I said, "I haven't, I haven't done this in a while, in like two years, but let's, let's go for it.” So I turned around to these two girls and I said, "Excuse me, angels. I am so sorry to interrupt but both of you, you are just like butter. What are your names?" And they introduced ... I don't even remember their names. I was like kidding around with them. And I go, "Can you believe the p-i-g pigs in this place? You know, they're just staring at our crotches or our cleavage.” And they were like wholly into it.
Audience: Laughter Ross: And they'll go, "Oh my god, yes.” "And you know, the thing is we nurture, we nourish, but do they appreciate it? No, they don't. Climb on, have their way, boom, get me a sandwich and a beer. I hate it.” Audience: laughter Ross: "I just stamp my feet ...” and they're laughing and being friendly. Oh my god, they're going, "Oh, yeah.” I go, I'll go, "Let me ask You something. With skin like that, you don't need makeup do you?" "Well, I use a little foundation.” "Oh, come on. Just between you and I. you don't really need anything, do you?" "Well, no, not really.” "You know, look at you. You're just a little waif. Do you eat at all?" I'll like pinch them like this, they'll go "Give me a hug.” "Umm, you know, you've got to put a little something on. You're just going to blow away. So what do you do for a living?" All this.
Audience: laughter Ross: I talked to them, I did the gay act for what, like 10 minutes? Pelone: About that. Ross: And then I said, "You know, I must tell you that I'm not really gay. You know, we wanted to see if you had a sense of humor, cause all the other women in here have bad attitudes.” And they're going, "No, you're gay.”
Audience: Laughter
Audience-. laughter
Ross: I'll go, "Well listen. There's something I must tell you. I must tell you I'm not really gay, but you look so unapproachable I had to come over here ...”
Ross: They didn't want to believe it. So, finally I said, they said, "Well, we're inviting you to our next party, cause you're just too much fun. You know. All the other guys in here, ...” So, this is a really good approach, it's a really, now it takes some balls. It's absolutely outrageous.
Audience: Laughter and applause Ross: They're like, aahhhhh. Audience: Laughter. Where did, did you have that, in the notes?
Audience: Responses from audience
Ross: No, it's not in the notes.
Ross: Take some practice. Now let's all try it. Now everybody. okay.
Audience: Laughter
Audience: laughter
Ross: No, no, now, here's another story. Pelone and I were in this restaurant in Manhattan Beach and normally, they're real nice friendly women there. Real nice place. But, tell them, did they have attitudes or what?
Ross: So, here's the Audience: Response from audience. … All right.
Pelone: Everyone had attitudes. They were even, they were barely friendly.
Ross: Now a really good way to do this, Audience: Response from audience.
Ross: That's real bad.
Ross: excuse me, hush, I'm speaking now. Okay. A really good way to do this, a really good, I'm going to spank, pank pank you. Okay. A really good way to do this is go get Saturday Night Live tapes and watch Dana Carvey do Church Lady.
Pelone: _____ friendliness. Ross: We sat there for like maybe half an hour trying stuff and nothing was working. So I said to him, "Okay, it's time to pull out the weapon of last resort.”
Audience: Response from audience
Pelone: His secret weapon.
Ross: That's what you gotta do. Okay? And you want
Ross: Now, you didn't know what I was going to do,
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to make the transition going, "Now, there's something I must confess, I'm not really gay.” Switch your tonality like that. Okay? That's a really good approach. The fake like you're gay tonality. It works. Okay?
first.” She said, "No, I don't have a boyfriend. Here's my number.” Then she left. Okay. So I called her. We played phone tag. I could never get a hold of her. Three months go by and I'm going through my cards and here's her card. And for some reason it stuck to my fingers. So I figured okay, what can I do? You were there that night. Okay? And so I figured, all right, what am I going to do here? I can't call up and go, "Remember me? I met you three months ago and we never got together?" Why wouldn't I, what would that be all example of doing?
Audience: I'll try that when I'm out of town. Ross: It's called ... Audience: Laughter Ross: That's smart. No problem. Good strategy. I call, I put this under the overall umbrella of put 'em on. When I say let's go have some fun, I mean let's go have some fun. Put 'em on. Okay? Here's the general, the general structure for doing a pickup. The general structure for doing a pickup is number 1, you want to interrupt their current state. Second, you want to focus their attention on you. Third, is take control of their internal representations. By internal re presentations I mean how they're talking to themselves, the sounds they're making, what they're visualizing. Does that make sense?
Audience: Supplicating Ross: That's right. And he who supplicates, ... Audience-. Masturbates. Ross: That's right. And we've all done enough of that. Audience: Laughter Ross: All right. I mean, you've heard of double blind studies? How do you think they got double blind? Audience-. Laughter
Audience: Yes
Ross: I just keep getting better and better at this. All right. So anyway. So I figured, just out of the blue, I picked up the phone, you're a witness, I went, "Hi, Gina. I met you about three months ago in the yogurt shop, back when I was straight. But now I'm gay, the tree's full of parrots. So listen, now that I'm totally safe, let's get together over coffee, shoot the shit, we can talk about what p-i-g pigs men are. I hope your man is nicer to you than mine is to me and ... You know, listen, because I'm _____ the only thing of yours that I really want to get into is your wardrobe. So give me a call back ...” She calls me back the next day. Boom.
Ross: Now, I like putting people on. I just like doing it. It's a really good non-standard way to do things since they're not used to it. One of my students came up with this approach. He walked up to a woman and really wussy, he'll go, he'll go, "Excuse me, excuse me, excuse me. Has anyone ever told you look like you have a wonderful sense of humor?" And they go, "Oh" and they'll laugh, cause ... I don't do that one, but he does that. Okay. So, interrupt their current state. I like putting them on. Here's another one that's worked for me. Now listen. It really works for me. By the way, another gay story, another of the gay things. Another woman in a yogurt place. Yogurt places are great to meet women the hours of 3: 30 and about 4: 45. There's a secret to meeting women. It's called blood sugar. When blood sugar drops in the late afternoon, they all go for their coffee or their sweets. All right? This girl, by the way, we're going to call here on the phone and say hello to her ... She wants to talk to all you guys. She wants me to put the phone up while you go hello, Gina. So, we'll do it for her. What the fuck? Anyway, she walks into the yogurt place where I'm sitting there with my publicist. . And she's just glowing, and I forget what I said to her, so I'm like, you know, "You look like you're glowing. What's going on with you?" "Oh, I just finished shooting my first feature film. It's a starring role with a major star, so I'm really happy about it, blah, blah, blah.” I said, "Really? Do you have a boyfriend? Do you want a better one? Answer the second question
Audience: Laughter Ross: You know, boom. So, anyway. So, it's an outrageous thing that works. Here's another way I put women on. When I go Into a place I find what I call the catbird seat. The catbird, everyone know what the catbird is? The catbird is the bird that's assigned by the flock to watch for the cat, so the flock can feed peacefully. So the catbird has to sit in the place where he can see everything. So I will sit so I'm facing the door so I can see everyone coming in. Okay? Okay, catbird scat. So, the woman will walk by me and I'll put this look on my face, or I'll even walk up to her. Who was there, who was with me when the Penthouse guy, we're going to be, the story's being written about me in Penthouse, too. So, I'm getting more and more famous. You were there. There's a beautiful blonde girl, what was her name? It starts with an E. Erin? It
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was, it was, she was real cute, though. Okay? So anyway, beautiful model turned out.
Yates: This is the end of Side 5 of the Ross Jeffries Basic Speed Seduction Seminar
Audience: Major league Ross: Major league h. b. Major h. b. She's sitting and the guy says, "Go pick her up.” So I walk around and I approach her from a 45-degree angle so she can't really see me. I'll say, I walk up to her and I say, "Excuse me. I know this is going to sound like to oldest, dumbest pickup line in the world, but I know, I know I've seen you somewhere before and it's, it's killing me cause I can't figure it out.” I did it so sincerely, she started trying to help me. Said, "Well where? Where do you think You've seen me? Where did you go to school?" I went, she went, "Did you, was it at Santa Monica College?" I went, "No, no.” I went, "Oh my god, I know where it was. I was reading a book on angels and they had your picture on the cover.” Now she laughed, of course. Right? She laughed. Now that's not enough. I didn't want to leave it there. I said, here's what I said, here's what makes it work. Just that line alone, she's going to go "Thank you" and walk off. Here's what made it work. So I started out being funny, putting her on. So I started out from funny and then where do you think I went from there? Audience: Sincere Ross: I went to being sincere. I said, and then I to being challenging. I said, "I'm glad you laughed because I think you are absolutely breathtaking, but I wanted to make sure you had more going for you than just that before I introduced myself.” So the language is, "I'm glad you laughed.” This isn't in your notes so you can write it down. ”I'm glad you laughed because I wanted, I'm glad you laughed because I think you are absolutely breathtaking and I wanted to make sure you had more going for you than just that before I introduced myself My name is" - your name goes here. Now, notice the dynamic there. I'm saying yeah, you're breathtaking, so what, let's get it out of the way, I acknowledge it, point over, let's go beyond that. I'm not slobbering over her and I'm not pretending I don't notice it either. Now, notice the dynamic there. I'm saying yeah, you're breathtaking, so what, let's get it out of the way, I acknowledge it, point over, let's go beyond that. I'm not slobbering over her and I'm not pretending I don't notice it either. So, Amy, you could say, "God, I notice you look just like that hunk of a stud Ross Jeffries, but I want to make sure you had more going for you than just that before I introduced myself. My name is Kathleen. Excuse me, Brother Kathleen.” Whatever. Okay, get it?
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Ross: But if you'll sit with me for 5 minutes. Who went to get those lozenges or they haven't got any on them? I'll be all right. Who here is a M. D. ? I need you to look at my throat. Okay? Actually, my butt itches, too, so I need you to ... just kidding. How will I tell one from the other, Ross?
Tape 3 – Side 2 Yates: This is the beginning of Side 6 of the Ross Jeffries Basic Speed Seduction Seminar
Audience: I'll show _____ . Ross: My name is Kathleen. Excuse me, Brother Kathleen. Whatever. Okay? Get it? Does that make sense?
Audience: Is this all-conscious level here, though, right no"?
Ross: Oh, no, no. If you sit with me for 5 minutes, I'll analyze hand writing, you'll learn secrets about yourself your best friends don't know, and I'll get to find out if you're the kind of person I want to get to know better. You get it? Do you hear the challenges and the opportunities you're structuring there throughout the whole thing? Are you, are you in any way supplicating?
Ross: What?
Audience: No.
Audience: Is this all-conscious level ...
Ross: Yes sir.
Ross: I don't understand your question?
Audience: Do you have any _____ available so we can learn how to analyze handwriting?
Audience: Yes. Ross: And then I ...
Audience: I mean, there's nothing covert about this?
Ross: I think we may have a deck here. I think we have product, yeah, we have a deck of cards called a grapho deck that we can sell you. It does it for you. You go right to the cards. They're like flash cards. You match it. Within 2 or 3 weeks, you'll have them memorized. They're great. Ebin, do you use them?
Ross: No, no. No, you're being straightforward, blunt and you're not making any apologies. See, I'm what I'm doing is I'm testing to see if they have a sense of humor. Then, as soon as I find out that they do, and if they don't, I walk on. Chris, maybe they do. They just don't like my joke. That's possible. Okay. So, I want to interrupt their state. I'm testing to see what kind of response I get. Then I go immediately to being sincere and then I go to be challenging. Then I'll say to her, "Look, " listen to me, listen to me guys. I'll say, "Look, I don't have a lot of time right now, .” Did you hear that earlier today?
Ebin: They're awesome. Ross: What's that? Louder. Ebin: The singular best tool for reading women like that is a prop. Ross: Yeah, yeah. It's real good.
Audience: Yes Ebin: It's a crutch you use. Ross: "I don't have a lot of time right now, but I tell you what. If you'll sit with me for 5 minutes, I'll analyze your handwriting. I'll tell you secrets about yourself that your best friends don't know, and I'll get to learn if you're the kind of person I want to get to know better.” Now, how many do you think actually sit down and want to have their writing done out for that?
Ross: Yeah. I didn't create it, someone else created it. But, it's a great product and we sell it. Okay? That's one approach. Now let me show you another approach. This next approach only works if you pause properly, okay? You must use pausing. Because when you pause it creates response attentiveness. So you want to learn to use your pausing. And also learn to speak at a certain pace. Okay. Here, look. Here comes Mr. Metronome. Is it picking this up? Yeah? Okay. Most of you are talking like here. Let me, let me do Mary had a little lamb at this speed. Mary had a little lamb, its fleece was white as snow. And everywhere that Mary went, the lamb was sure to go. Okay? Too fast. Mary had (pause) a little lamb, (pause) it's fleece was white as snow, (pause) and everywhere (pause) that Mary went, (pause) the lamb was sure to (pause) go. So, you want
Audience: 100'%? Ross: About 85-90%. And the better looking they are, the more they're willing to sit down. Cause no one's ever challenged them like that. See, most of them here, "Hey you, whoo, hey baby.” Audience: So what's does "I don't have a lot of time right now?"
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to learn to speak at the right pace, which will give you some ... Oh, it just died there. You want to learn to pause p roperly, so, here's how you do it. You walk up to a woman, and you say, "Excuse me, excuse me, " brief pause. The dot is a pause, okay? Forgive the interruption, brief pause, but you are so, pause, pause, pause, pause, pause, so say, "Excuse me, forgive the interruption, but you are so (pause).” And they're like, "What?" Okay? They're wondering, "What the fuck is he going to say? What? I'm on fire? I'm a whore? What? I'm fat?"
Audience: Response from audience: Ross: Say it, okay, so, say it with me. Ross & Audience: Excuse me. Forgive the interruption, but you are so (pause) absolutely breathtaking, I had to take the risk to meet you and find out what the person inside is like. Ross: My name is so and so. That's another good one. Now, here's one I've used. I've walked up, this is a put-on. I've walked up and said, "Excuse me. I, I know this is going to sound like a little, an odd question, but can you think of the friend who makes you laugh the most?" And when they think of that friend, what are they going to do?
Audience: laughter Ross: "I've got cellulite?" So, this doesn't work. Going tip, "Excuse me. Forgive the interruption, but you are so absolutely breathtaking I just had to meet you.” Doesn't work. Why?
Audience: Probably start laughing. Ross: They're going to smile. And I'll say, "Good, because I had to see the smile that goes with that absolutely perfect face.” "Excuse me. Can you, I know this is going to sound like bit of an odd question. But can you think of the friend that makes you laugh the most?" If they don't smile, walk away. But most of the time, they're going to smile and go, "Yes.” And go, "Good. Cause I had to se the smile that goes with that absolutely perfect face.” What?
Audience: Too fast. Ross: Too fast. Audience: Responses from audience. Ross: But if I say, Audience: Response from audience Ross: Right. But If I say, "Excuse me. Forgive the interruption, but you are so (pause) absolutely breathtaking, (pause) I had to take the risk to meet you and find out what the person inside is like. My name is Boom.” Okay? Now, notice how I say it. Am I, yes?
Audience: I was thinking that when you're coming back from the mall ... Ross: Oh, okay. Audience: And when, there's a car next to us that has sonic girls in it and we started, we started yelling something out the window to get their attention. Just something real funny, you know, and joking, and they just went, you know. And they were just like, then they started joking around.
Audience: At forgive the Interruption ... Ross: I'm being excessively polite. I'm just being polite. Audience: and the softer in general?
Audience: Response from audience
Ross: Yeah
Audience: Laughter
Audience: How do you use those without getting into the mindset of someone you used to be?
Audience: Responses from audience
Ross: Because my tonality isn't "Excuse me" it's "Hey, I'm being polite.” What I'm saying is, "I know this is kind of a nerve-racking thing, I'm a strange guy, we're in the big city, I'm taking, " I'm pacing that. I'm going, "It's okay, relax.” It sounds like I'm supplicating, but really I'm doing is, "It's all right, relax.” You know, I'm stroking the chicken's back. Well, I shouldn't say stroking the chicken. I'm ...
Audience: They didn't, I mean, I guess they're, I don't know if they're threatened ... Ross: We were driving around and we saw ... Yesterday, we were coming back from the aquarium and there's a dark-haired girl driving next to us. Hugh _____ bouncing as she was driving. Yeah. I looked over and I said, "Excuse me. Are you Jewish?" She said, "No.” I said, "Never mind.”
Audience: Laughter
Audience: Laughter
Ross: I'm tickling the alligator's belly so it can go into trance. You know? So, "Excuse me. Forgive the interruption, but You are so (pause)"
Audience: Could you repeat that one again, the last one?
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Ross: Oh, "Excuse me. I know this is going to sound like something of an odd question, but can you think of the friend, but can you think of the friend, that makes you laugh the most?" And then when they smile, you say, "Good. Because I wanted to see the smile that goes with that absolutely perfect face.” Yes? Oh, I'm sorry. I already did it once, so, two times, I don't need to repeat it. That's all right. Are these good to you?
approach to use as opposed to the one like you approached her before, where you ... Ross: Good question. Audience: Response from audience Ross: Let me do this. Here's how I make a judgment. I make a judgment based on a couple of factors, which approach I'm going to use. First of all, I look to see how open and friendly she looks. If she looks open and friendly and happy, I'm going to use more of a straight approach. I'm going to come up and say, "You've got great energy" or "Excuse me, I, but you are so absolutely breathtaking, I had to take the risk to meet you and find out what the person inside is like" cause I'm more likely ... If she looks a little less friendly, or I just haven't had much of an opportunity to observe her cause she's, she's g oing by in a hurry, then I'll use the fake like I know her. Fake like I know her. I'll use the fake like I know her or I'll use the gay approach. Well, it's true. The more uptight and bitchy she looks, the more gay I'm going to get.
Audience: Yes. Ross. - Another one I'll do is, if I notice a woman has really good energy - don't ask me what that means but if she looks lively and happy, I'll say, "Excuse me. I just had to tell you, you have the most wonderful energy. I had to introduce myself.” Now that line is perfect. If it's true, if it's really true and you do observe that, women love that line. They gobble that line like candy. To tell a woman she has great energy, it's an absolutely perfect line. If you mean it. What are you laughing at? Audience: Response from audience. Ross: If she's happy, she's lively. That's a very flattering, thing to say to a woman. Oh, now here's one. Here's an old standby if YOU can't think of anything else to say. Find some article of clothing she's wearing, and you say, "Where did you get those x?" where x represents whatever the clothing IS. Okay? "Where did you get those x? Where did you get that x?" And when she tells you, you go, "Great. Because I really like them.” And then you say, "Of course, the person wearing them is a shining example of genetic perfection.” Now you think that line is stupid, but they always laugh. They always laugh or are flattered. And then you say, "I'm glad you laughed cause I think you are absolutely breathtaking. And I wanted to make sure you had more going for you than that before I introduced myself.” That's a great standby. ”Where did you get those?" You can always think of that right off the bat. Now, you don't want to go up and say, "Excuse me, but you make my dick harder than Chinese calculus.”
Audience: Laughter Ross: Yes, Mark. Mark: With a really like tense, I found that if you can find some kind of flaw and point it out, it knocks them off completely. Ross: Well, that's a, that's a risky thing to do. Mark: Well, when you know they're going to be a total bitch, ... Ross: But you don't know. Audience: Response from audience. Ross: You can change states. I don't assume, she may just be in a hurry or have a mask up cause she doesn't want to get lilt on. But I'm not, I'm just saying, "Precious, you are like butter. I had to meet you. Audience: We don't get, is there any ...
Audience: Laughter
Ross: Oh, you have to say it exactly right, you big bitch.
Ross: Ye ah, you'd be off, you'd probably be off on the wrong foot. Yes?
Audience: Laughter
Audience: Response from audience
Ross: If you say it wrong, your eyeballs will get scratched out.
Ross: Excuse me, but, ... -
Audience: flow about you write these out?
Audience: Response from audience
Ross: Huh?
Ross: Yeah.
Audience: How about you write these out?
Audience: How do you know, like the genetic perfection thing, how do you know that that's the
Ross: Well, how about you write them down while I'm
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doing it?
the shark was fighting the tiger or whatever the fuck it was.
Audience: Responses from audience
Audience: Laughter.
Ross: Well, aaahhhh.
Ross: Oh yeah. Tigers can kick a shark's ass. Well, it depends if they're in the water or not. Well, ... Okay. So you quote a show, a book, you know what else you can quote? A seminar. I went to this wacky seminar on men, on how to understand women. It was so ridiculous. The guy was saying it's very important for a woman to feel an unbelievable connection. The way he described it, he talked about, you ever feel that click right (pause) there, that just makes you feel totally drawn to this person. And on the one hand, okay, you get it?
Audience: Responses from audience. Ross: What have you been doing? Audience: Laughter Ross: All right. Let's take, yeah, let's take 5 minutes. BREAK Ross: Now, I'm switching back and forth between topics to kind of fractionate you a little bit. We will thoroughly cover each and every one. I can guarantee and promise you that. I want to start looking at patterns now. Let's jump to patterns. Okay? I want to do one of my absolute favorite patterns cause it's so fun to do over the phone. Who's the brother, Brother Ben uses this on the phone right off the jump when he calls. It's the Discovery Channel pattern. How many people have heard of or seen the Discovery Channel pattern before? And it's in your notes, is it not, word for word? It's one of the ones in the notes? Yeah. It's in one of the handouts, word for word.
Audience: Response from audience. Ross: Okay. Then what you can do, okay, then what you can do is you can quote what a friend said on the subject. My, now, my, I told this to my friend and my friend said, and then you go into another pattern. Or you just expand on the first one. And now, the final part is, you, you say, you offer your own opinion. Offer your own opinion. This is a very powerful structure cause it lets you stack examples. Plus, You're offering social proof. ”Well, I saw it on TV and someone else had to say this about it, so it must be true.” This is a very powerful structure. Now, I don't always follow this, but, okay? So, the Discovery Channel starts out very simply. Let's work on this together. Okay? If you wanted to quote, talk about how you, if you wanted to quote something you saw on TV, what would you start out saying? A new student. You were going to quote, you were going to tell me about something you saw on TV, what would you say to me?
Audience: Response from audience. Ross: Those of you who are at home, you can find the Discovery Channel pattern in your Secrets of Speed Seduction Home Study Course Workbook on page B85. That's B85 I think. We call it the Ideal Attraction Pattern. Now let me talk to you a little bit about the structure of the Discovery Channel pattern and how I thought it up. You know how I thought it up? I saw it on TV. Ha, Ha. I really did. One of the things I want to, one of the reasons why I want to do the Discovery Channel pattern first is because it helps you understand one of the primary conversational structures of speed seduction. So, I like to layer patterns 3 deep. Okay? The first pattern really gets you into her mind. The second one cements you and the third one really gets her going. Now the Discovery Channel pattern works with very common, typical speed seduction conversational framework. And that is it quotes something. Now, there are lots of things you can quote. You can quote a TV show you saw. And this sounds like the structure of a normal conversation. flow many times have you ever talked to a friend about a movie or a TV show you watched? Anyone ever done that in their entire life?
Audience. When I was watching this show on TV last week, ... Ross: Right. Audience: It was about lions and tigers and bears, and how they rampage on the countryside after being released from some cohabitual habitat zoo in Afghanistan, and it was really interesting how they contrasted the ... Ross: Very good. Audience: So, something like that. Ross: Very good. Sounds like we're being released from our zoo. Audience: Laughter.
Audience: Yes
Ross: Your unconscious is working. I like that. Okay. So, its simple languaging, guys. This is not rocket
Ross: When I was a little kid, we used to talk about Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom. Did you see it hen
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science. This is, this is the uranium gun weapon. We're not showing you an H-bomb here. This is a simple weapon. Okay? I was watching the most interesting show on TV and they were saying ... By the way, this is in your notes, word for word, so, it's in your notes, the seminar notes, plus it's in the workbook. So, you don't, "hat I want you to do Is look and see what each piece is designed to do and then we'll go through it, word for word. Okay? I want you to get it. Okay? I was watching the most interesting show on TV about x and they were saying ... Okay. So, the Discovery Channel pattern is an interesting pattern because it's actually a pattern that does a lot. It lets you get some feelings of emotional safety and comfort and get body sensations. So, it's getting into 2 doorways. Plus, it uses sexual metaphor, too. So it's really exaggerating one of those doorways. So the Discovery Channel pattern is great, I really love this pattern, it's great to pick up the phone and call, okay? So, it goes something like this. It goes, and with each little piece, I want to stop and analyze what each piece is designed to do. Fair enough?
Audience: Right. Ross: You ever see any of these bizarre schizophrenic shitbums who walk up to you and go, "Helicopter, pillow pilot, jet plane aspirin"? Audience: Laughter Ross: And I'll go back and " _____ tweedle dum, Tom Thumb, and dum de de dum.” You know, I'll do it back to them, but ... You don't want to sound like you're talking word _____ here guys. Okay? So the purpose of the introduction is to make it okay to talk about this. So are there any of you, any man, who makes his living designing rides, attractions for amusement parks? Okay. Now, here comes the first command. And he said, and he said ... What are we doing? We're quoting the person they interviewed on the show. Okay? And he said when you, when you ... Here comes the first command. Now when you're doing patterns, it's very useful to do, sketch out the following things. The first thing you want to sketch out when you're designing a pattern is what's the conversational framework? Okay? So what is the conversational framework? Here we know what it is. It's quoting a TV show. Okay? What are the commands that you're going to put there? Write them out, separately. Number 3 - what's the theme or themes, okay? The overall theme of the Discovery Channel pattern is how safety and excitement can be experienced at the same time. That's the overall theme of the Discovery Channel pattern. What's the overall theme or themes? One of the questions I want you to encourage you to ask yourself is, what are theme or themes that would really intrigue this woman? What theme or themes would really intrigue this woman? Did you all watch the video, the cable show with me and the actress and the, the guy on meth or whatever? Did you see that guy? _____ I'm something _____ . You all see it?
Audience: Yeah Ross: Can you tell me why I'm stopping to analyze what each piece does? What is my purpose in doing that? Audience: Responses from audience. Ross: To fill up time? Audience: Responses from audience. Ross: So you understand what you're doing. This is so important. I'm the only person in this community that will say, you need to understand what you're doing if you want to do it well and you want to do exquisitely and you want to make up your own stuff. Okay? Huh?
Audience: Yes
Audience: Thank you.
Ross: Now what was the theme that intrigued that actress?
Ross: You're welcome. You're welcome. I was watching the most interesting show on TV on the Discovery Channel and they were interviewing a man who makes his living designing rides, attractions for amusement parks. Okay? So far so good? Now what's that first thing doing? It's just introducing the topic. So that first bit of pattern just introduces the topic. Why is it important to introduce the topic?
Audience: Response from audience Ross: I know. What I said to her is, "Boy, I think acting is interesting, too. The really interesting thing about acting is you want to get to the place where you're no longer giving a performance. You want to get to the place where you step aside consciously and you let that performance flow through you. And really, that's about a moment of surrender.” So what was the real theme? Moments of surrender, stepping aside consciously. That was the real theme. Okay? So,
Audience: Response from audience Ross: So it makes sense, so it sets the stage and it sounds like an ordinary, decent, normal conversation. Right?
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the theme of the Discovery Channel pattern is safety and excitement at the same time. Why is that an important theme? Cause, isn't that what women want? I mean, they want to be excited and thrilled, but at the same time they want to know they're not going to get hurt. Right?
Ross: What's the purpose of your speed seduction? Audience: Responses from audience. Ross: To create a state. Okay? The purpose of your communication is not to convey an intellectual understanding. Believe me, I used to be great at conveying intellectual understandings. I mean, I could get a woman to understand U. S. nuclear arms policy In southwest Asia. By the end of the evening, she'd really understand it. She'd also understand that she'd have to wash her hair.
Audience: Right Ross: Yes? Audience: Yes Ross: I mean, if you can really deliver that to a woman, that's a big deal. Safety is a big thing. They don't want to be hurt. Who does? Well, if wear my special outfit, I want to be hurt, but
Audience: Laughter Ross: Okay? Audience: laughter
Audience: Laughter. What is that, Ross?
Ross: Okay, well it's true. I don't want, no, I'm not saying, listen to me please. I'm not saying you shouldn't appreciate a woman's intellect. I love intelligent women. I'm not bullshitting here. The smarter the woman, the sexier I find her. Truly. I love bright women, they're challenging, they're interesting, they're fascinating, they're better in bed. I love bright women. All I'm saying is the purpose of my communicating is not to give an intellectual understanding. Now it may appear that way. On the surface of the communication it may appear that I'm teaching her something or helping her learn a skill, but in reality what's going on here underneath is I'm installing a series of states and linking them to me. Okay? Do you get it?
Ross: Oh, never mind. Audience: Laughter. Ross: Oooh, oooh, oooh, only Kim gets to put it oil me. No, no, just teasing. No, those days are gone my friend, we'd thought they'd never end, but they did, and now I am, anyway. Audience: Laughter. Ross: Okay. So, it goes, and were there any of you. a guy who makes his living designing rides, attractions for amusement parks, and he said when you stop and imagination your ideal attraction. So that's the first command. The first command is stop and imagine your ideal attraction. Now let's have a look at this for a minute. When you give the person the command to stop, what are you commanding them to do?
Audience: Yes Ross: All right. So, when he said "Stop and imagine your ideal attraction" he said there were three elements involved. Okay? He said when you, okay, look up here. He said when you take this ride, look where I'm pointing. Okay? It's very subtle. I don't say "When you take this ride ...” Can we all do this' Keep, put our hands, put your hands here. Okay? Slide your hands down to your belly button and point your fingers, okay? So you want to keep your hands real close to your body. Anything further than this they're going. So, when you take this ride, you enter a state of high arousal. Now, what's the command? There are two commands there.
Audience: Stop. Ross: Stop every other train of thought and pay attention only to what you're about to hear. Stop pause and imagine your ideal attraction. Now, notice this. When I say to her, "Imagine your ideal attraction" am I saying "Imagine your ideal amusement park ride?" Or am I saying "Imagine your ideal attraction to a man?" Which am I saying? Audience: Man, responses from audience. Ross: It's ambiguous. It's both. Here's a general, powerful rule of persuasion. If you want to be hypnotic, be ambiguous and vague. If you want to convey intellectual understanding, be specific. Now, is the purpose of speed seduction to convey an intellectual understanding to the woman of the topic you're discussing?
Audience: It's take this ride. Ross: Take this ride. Audience: Responses from audience Ross: The sexual metaphor - enter a state of high arousal. Now, let's look at this. I want you to understand how each step drives the next step even
Audience: No.
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further. What? You have a comment?
you reach the peak, the peak, that could mean what? The peak of excitement before an orgasm. You're screaming with excitement as you go down. Okay? Go down? You get it? I swear, I've had women stop and say, "It sounds just like sex or it sounds like orgasm.” I go, "Wow, I never thought of that before.”
Audience: Question from audience. Ross: Okay. Enter a state of high arousal. So, I'm giving them two commands. Now, what doorway are we getting into here? Do we, let's do the four doorways again. There's the, the doorways are emotional connections, getting her visualizing, body sensations, and asking her questions that make her access herself in the deepest core of her identity to answer. What doorway are we getting into?
Audience: Laughter Ross: This is a great pattern. I challenge you, here's what you do. To practice your first speed seduction, practice, call some woman you know, go "How you doing? You know, I was, do you watch TV? I was watching the most interesting show on the Discovery Channel" and do the Discovery Channel pattern on her. All right? Now, I'm not done here. Now, I'm not done here. I want, see, I'm taking this apart piece by piece. I encourage you to go back to the patterns in your, in your notes and in the workbook and them apart piece by piece and go "What is each piece designed to do?" Design will tell you more than anything else. In fact, we might hold a contest where the winner gets a, some kind of prize of some sort products or cash - where we have you design a disgusting pattern, a pattern to make a woman feel sick to her stomach and nauseated by you. Okay? Just to show you that it's not the content but the form. Okay? Like "I was watching this show on the medical channel ...”
Audience: Body sensations, sensory sensations. Ross: Body sensations. That's right. Who didn't get that? If you didn't get it, please tell me. I want you to tell me if you're not getting, cause that means I can be a better teacher by learning from you how to make sure you get it. If you're not getting it, you're not helping by staying silent. Okay? Okay. When you take this ride, you enter a state of high arousal. And then you say this. You say, "You know first long slow vertical climb on the roller coaster? And you can feel the adrenaline pounding through your body. The closer you get to the peak, the faster your heart beats. Your breathing starts to come faster and faster and as you're reaching the peak and you begin to go down, You're screaming with excitement.” Okay, now. What am I doing here? I'm giving a description. I give a description. Why do I give a description? Because if she's in rapport with me and following along as I describe that state ... Now, let's, let's help, let's have you make it up. When you're on the roller coaster and you're going up that climb, what do you feel in your body as you're going up, hearing clack, clack, clack?
Audience: Laughter Ross: "And they were talking about genital warts. Audience: Laughter Ross: "And the guy was talking about how incredibly painful it is when you get a terrible rash down there. You ever wake up with a burning sensation ...
Audience: Response from audience Ross: Describe it.
Audience: laughter
Audience: Responses from audience.
Ross: And the mo re ...” You understand what I'm saying? I can make them up like that, too. But notice, the structure is the same. The content is different, but the structure is ...
Ross: Tingling in your stomach. What else? Audience: Responses from audience. Ross. - Shuddering with anticipation. that's right. What else?
Audience: The same. Ross: Right. I want you guys to get used, listen to this. This is very important. Now I'm rolling here. We live in a society that's totally focused on content. What is it that you're saying? People are not trained to look at structure and form, unless they're body workers. Body workers get this stuff a lot faster. They're trained to look at structure. Okay? What I'm going to tell you is structure and form in our communication is intensely powerful. There are certain structures that are very powerful. If you learn
Audience: Growing excitement. Ross: Growing excitement. So, okay. Exactly. How do I come up with this? I say, "Granted, I've been there. What does it feel like?" Audience: What will it be like. Ross: What will it be like? Okay? Give a description. The description is x, y, z, a, b, c, whatever. And then I add, threw in some more sexual metaphors. Then as
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to communicate through those powerful structures, you'll have an entirely different experience of life.
the roller coaster. Well, and this is true, it is absolutely true. You have to know deep down. I remember riding a roller coaster, being, looking at people whizzing by, going "I'm scared to go up there.” I thought, "Wait a minute. It's got to be safe or their insurance company wouldn't even let them, let people get up there.” So I feel okay. Now, that's a bizarre kind of logic but it makes sense. I figure no one's really going to get hurt on that and their insurance company would close them down. Wouldn't let them have it. Yes.
Yes? Phoenix. Can we get him on the mike? Yes. Met-a-man. Phoenix: Yes, one of the things that I've noticed cause I'm really lazy at making patterns is there's like two levels to the patterns that Ross has. There's what I call the met-a-level, which you have the introduction, the metaphors, bring up to the close. And then inside of that there's actually the linguistic or hypnotic trance patterns that are being run. And for sonic people they can actually take and go from "I want to start at a, I want to end up at c, and the You can actually break it down even more to what sort of trance words am I using, or trance phases. If you want to get technical you can say, well a nominalization there, I need to have an ambiguity there. You can start to really get constructive down to the basic details starting with the overall structures and getting more specific. Ross: Yes. Once you understand structure it becomes like designing a piece of art. I love designing patterns cause they're like pieces of art. They're like, do you know what they are? You know what you're doing as a speed Seducer? You're creating mental origami. Does everyone know what origami is? Does anyone ...
Audience: _____ doesn't work at carnivals and state fairs where the rides are put together by the pot-smoking guys. Ross: Okay. That's different. Audience: Ross. Ross: Yes. Audience: Curiosity. I noticed that you put like a sexual metaphor before the safety part. Ross: Just cause it fit in to, that was the way the, you're telling about the elements, that's just the way it fit in. I really did see this on TV. Okay? So there has to be a sense of overall safety. You have to know this attraction is so well designed you feel totally safe. So what's the command?
Audience: Response from audience.
Ross & Audience: Feel totally safe.
Ross: Origami is like when you do Japanese paper folding. You take paper and You fold it into beautiful ornate shapes. What we are doing is we' re creating thought origami for women. We're taking their thoughts and we're helping them to fold them into shapes, beautiful shapes and configurations they've never experienced before. We are artists with thought.
Ross: And because you feel totally safe, you feel completely free to indulge in all those exciting feelings. So the other command is feel completely free to indulge in all these exciting feelings. Do you get it? Audience: Got it. Ross: Now. Finally. And he said the final element is, there's got to be a sense of overall fascination. This ride has to have so many different twists and turns that as soon as you get off, you want to climb right back on, you want to take this ride multiple times.
Audience: I call it experiential Ross: You've been drinking too much of your own tea. Audience: Laughter
Audience: Laughter
Ross: But anyway. So. Okay. So. And he said the second element is there has to be a sense of overall, there has to be a sense of overall safety. You have to know that this attraction is so well designed, you're not going to get hurt. And because you feel totally safe, you feel that much more free to indulge and let go with all of those exciting feelings. So what is the second module designed to do? The sexual, the second module is designed to create feelings of what?
Ross: Okay? So, as soon as you get off, what is that a command for her to do? Have an orgasm. As soon as you get off, you want to climb right back on. What is she going to be visualizing in her head? Audience: Response from audience Ross: So now, what doorway ... Audience: Responses from audience
Audience: Comfort and safety.
Ross: What doorway, okay. So what doorway are we starting to get into here?
Ross: How do I do that? I talk about the metaphor of
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Audience: Responses from audience
like what you want the most is right, right now, right in front of you.
Ross: Visual. Body sensations and visual. When you get off you want to climb right back on. By the way, when you say get off, she may be visualizing herself getting off, too. Okay? You want to climb right back on. You want to take this ride multiple times. And she may be actually then visualizing herself on you multiple times. Okay?
Audience: Laughter. Ross: Can you feel that? It would be an amazing thing to experience? I mean, I think sometimes when you feel that connection, you can even stop and imagine a time in the future, say years from now, still feeling this amazing connection. And looking back on this moment as having been the start of it. Now, let's talk about a piece of the incredible connection. Did you hear the incredible connection pattern there? Let me talk about a little piece of this called time distortion or pseudo-orientation in time is actually the proper name for it. Okay? I'm going to give you a couple of different ways to get into the incredible connection pattern. Cause the way I first taught it, it wasn't particularly conversational. Okay? So, I want to tell you, show you some really good conversational ways to get into it. Fair?
Audience: Do you sell Biagra? Ross: Do I sell Biagra? No. What's the difference between a Jewish woman and an Italian woman? An Italian woman says to her husband buy viagra. A Jewis h woman says buy Fizer stock. Audience: Laughter. Ross: Was that a no, no? You're looking at me with a bad look. Okay? Now, watch this. Now I'm going to show you how to transition from this into the incredible connection pattern. Okay? I'm going to give you a phrase, I'm going to tell you four words that \A, III get you ]aid more than any four words in the English language. Nah, you don't want to know. Never mind, well let's move on.
Audience: Yes Ross: If I can give you three different ways to get to the incredible connection pattern, would you be happy?
Audience: Laughter. Ross: I have a gun. No, that's not it.
Audience: Yes
Audience: Laughter.
Ross: Would you think "Ross, for the first day, I'm really getting my money's worth?"
Ross: I have some cocaine. No. I drive a Porsche. No. It's just like when ... It's just like when. What does that phrase let you do? It's lets you transition any topic to any other topic. I'm talking about elephant wards. . Okay? It's just like when you see a beautiful sunset and you know the sunset has a few imperfections. And yet, you don't see that. They fade away and all you see the beauty in front of you, overwhelming you. Okay? It's just like when. Well, in this case, I said, and as I thought about it, I thought, isn't that the ideal description of the perfect connection between two people. Okay? Isn't that the ideal description of the perfect connection between two people? I mean, you know that click right there that just makes you feel totally drawn to this person. And on the one hand, you feet totally safe, totally comfortable, like you were meant to know this person, like you've known this person forever. And on the other hand, you feel all those exciting feelings of really wanting to be with him. Like you've ever been waiting for someone to pick you up for an evening and all of a sudden you hear, knock, knock, knock, and your heart leaps. You feel the adrenaline rushing through your body. The closer you get to that door, the more excited you are. Then when you open your door, it's
Audience: Yes Ross: Don't You already feel that already? Audience: Yes Ross: Good. I'll see you later. No. Audience: Laughter Ross: Oh, let me tell a joke. One way to get to the incredible connection pattern is to start out with the Discovery Channel pattern. And they you go into saying "It's just, you know, as I thought of that, I thought that it's just like when you feel that incredible connection with someone.” And then you begin to do that pattern. You get it? Now, there's a part of the incredible connection pattern when you say, "Sometimes the point where you can just stop and imagine a time in the future, say years from now, still feeling this incredible connection and looking back on this moment as having been the start of it.” I want to look at that languaging for a minute and show you what you're doing. Okay? Sometimes to point where, the point where is a weasel phrase. To the point where means something's happening and it's happening so strongly that you're about to have an
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even better experience, or more intense experience. Okay? To the point where you can just stop, what was the comment you made? You said something to yourself.
get some more water? Okay. Good. It's what I call the contrast principal. If you contrast two things, one with the other, it makes it easier for the person to follow along. Okay? How would you like to know a way to use the incredible connection pattern on a woman who's highly visual? Wouldn't that be great? Audience: Uh huh.
Audience: I did? Ross: You went ... Audience: I didn't know I did.
Ross: Okay. Here's what you say. It goes something like this. This goes something like this. Pay attention up here and then we'll go through it word for word. Pay attention up here. Ricola, Ricola. There's no such thing as anchors.
Ross: Oh, yeah. You did. Audience: I didn't think you _____ for it, but I ... Ross: You did. Sometimes the point where you begin to talk to yourself unconsciously on the inside. Sometimes the point where you can stop and imagine a time in the future, say years from now, what are you telling her to do? You're telling her to go into a deep trance, imagine being in the future, imagine a time in the future, say years from now, still feeling this incredible connection, and looking back on today as having been the start of it. You're saying, "Take the present, make the present the past, and make the future the present.” It's an incredible double distortion. You're not just saying "Imagine a time in the future still feeling this connection.” That would be one distortion. You're saying "Imagine a time in the future still feeling this connection and looking back on this moment as having been the start of it.” So you're saying go into the future, look back on today as being already the past. You understand? You're whamming her with a double distortion and her mind cannot resist it. Do you get it?
Yates: This is the end of Side 6 of the Ross Jeffries Basic Speed Seduction Seminar
Audience: Yes Ross: So now you're not just some stranger who she's suddenly feeling connected to, you're a stranger who she's feeling the start of a connection she may feel for years. So, you're getting her to attach all that meaning to ... Audience: Me. Ross: Bingo. Now, here's two more ways to bring up the incredible connection pattern. Okay? You want to hear it? Audience: Yes Ross: I don't want to belabor the incredible connection pattern, but I do want to belabor the ways of bringing it up. Fair enough? Audience: Yes. Ross: Okay. Now I want to teach you an important principle in pattern construction. You don't use it all the time, but it is important and it is powerful. Can I
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you'll pick up people's thought processes.
Tape 4 – Side 1
That really gives you power. I'm telling you how I think about things so you can go and construct it for yourself Okay. You ever thought about the difference between looking and truly seeing? Okay. And then you want to describe ... That's step one. Step two is describe x briefly. Why do you only want describe x briefly?
Yates: This is Side 7 of the Basic Speed Seduction Seminar by Ross Jeffries
Ross: Ricola, Ricola. There's no such thing as anchors. I have a great memory for cartoon theme songs. For those of you at home, I'm soothing my throat ...
Audience: Response from audience Ross: Cause y's the one you really want to put her into. Do you want to put her into x or y?
Audience: Laughter
Audience: Y
Ross: You're getting Kim's impotence pattern in stereo. I'm going to sic her on you. He said short women are dumb.
Ross: Y. Okay. And then the next step is more extensively describe why. Okay. So let me do it for you. You ever thought about the difference between looking and truly seeing? Looking, I think, is the physiological process of light reflecting off an object, entering your eye and the image being sent to your brain where it's interpreted. It's the physiological process of vision, but seeing, truly seeing, is when you look past the surface and see something deeper, see something that resonates deep inside, see something that touches deep inside, something that allows you to feel an unbelievable connection. Sometimes to the point where you can just stop and imagine a time in the future, say years from now, still feeling this incredible connection and looking back on this moment as being the start of it, cause you're being touched in that place I call the secret core, that place inside where anything can be possible, where you keep your most exciting memories, when you ponder fantasies and daydreams. Do you get it? Thank you. So you start out by talking about looking and then you talk about seeing, truly seeing is when you, here's the command. Look past the surface and see something much deeper. What are you commanding her to do?
Audience: Laughter. Liar, liar. Ross: Don't mess with her. Looking versus truly seeing. Here's what, I did this with a highly visual woman. She was going, I said, "Have you ever thought of the difference between looking and truly seeing?" Okay? So the pattern is, the general structure of a pattern where you're comparing one thing with another, here's the form. The form is have you ever thought of the difference between x and y, where x and y are two things that are similar but somewhat different? Okay? It's, now, notice, you're not saying have you ever thought about the difference between fire and ice? Have you ever thought about the difference between love and hate? Cause they're so exaggerated differences, it doesn't require much focus. You want to take x and y; _____ got to be two things that are similar yet different. Do you understand me? Audience: Yes. Ross: Like hope and expectation. Okay? You ever thought about the difference between the two? Now one of the ways I came up with this is by watching Richard Bandler. One of Bandler's major algorithms for coming up with NLP patterns is to say how does a person do something, what's something that similar to that but different and how can we use that difference in a pattern for positive, quick, rapid change? That's his algorithin. Remember I said that to you Yates in, in, in ...
Audience: Focus inside Ross: No. That's part of it, but listen. Look past the surface of what? I didn't say look past the surface of someone's appearance and see something deeper in their personality. I was vague. But that's what they're going to do. Look past the surface and see something much deeper, something that resonates and touches you deep inside where you truly are. Sometimes to the point where you can just stop and imagine a time in the future, still feeling that incredible connection. You get it? I'm really giving Audience: Response from audience.
Yates: Austin Ross: Austin? And then, a couple of days later, Bandler said that's how I do it? Remember? He made it explicit for the first time? But I told you I figured that Out like 5 years ago. If you know what to watch for,
Ross: Oh, I missed your pants. Good. I got that.
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Audience: So the friends, the movie, the hours, the big experience and all _____
about Ralph ... ... Name a guy that you ... Dave. Really Dave. Tell me more about Dave. Uh huh, uh huh. And what does Dave do for a living again? And Dave does what?" Then
Ross: Right. Okay? So we're going stack them. The first example I used is if you've ever been out with friends who you feel really comfortable with. Why am I using that one? Cause I want her to feel really comfortable with me. And that's what we call, how many people have ever had that experience of being out with friends you really like and time flies? flow many people never had that experience? How many people had the opposite experience? You're with someone you can't stand, the evening is dragging?
Audience: Works Ross: Yeah. Then like an hour later in the conversation you go, "You know, you ever been with someone and you start to really doubt them? It's like every time you hear the person's voice you go, uuhhb, he bugs me or you start to notice things he does that really drive you up a wall?" You get it? Audience: Like , laughter.
Audience: laughter
Ross: Yeah, yeah, that's fine. And I want to tell you, she's going to start noticing her feeling for him really changing. Unless he's meeting her core values, which we'll talk about later in the weekend. Then nothing's going to work. All right. So three examples. The first example is being with friends. The second example is peak experience. Notice we're getting progressively more intense with these. And the final one is when you meet someone and it just seems like you feel like you've known this person forever. You stack three deep and they're what we call universal experiences.
Ross: What's that? Audience: Response from audience. Ross: By the way, you notice how fast this day has gone by? Audience: Yes Ross: Subjectively to me it seems about two hours. I'm not kidding. Okay? Audience: Which one, you wouldn't want to tell the negative one, are you?
Audience: What was the second one? Ross: The second one is peak experiences like climbing a mountain or and how inside you slow time down and stop the world and let yourself go with this. Does that mean let yourself go with this connection she's experiencing with me? Yes it does. What am I commanding her to do? I'm telling her inside you slow time down, stop the world and let yourself go with it. I'm telling her go into a very profound hypnotic trance and let yourself go completely with me when you experience it. You get it?
Ross: No, no, positive ones. Although where would it be useful to tell negative examples? Audience: Getting rid of somebody. Ross: To get rid of someone or to anchor it to someone else. Audience: Laughter Ross: Like, let's say she has a boyfriend. She has a boy friend Ralph. You go Ralph, huh? Tell me a little bit more about Ralph. Okay? So Ralph's a doctor, um um. And how long have you been seeing Ralph? Oh, so this becomes her, your, whenever you do this she'll think of Ralph and go "You know. You ever been out with someone and you start to notice imperfections in them?"
Audience: Yes Ross: Even though it seems like I'm describing a peak experience, the peak experience I'm making her feel is the one s he's having with me right here, right now. Could that be useful?
Audience: Laughter
Audience: Yes
Ross: It's like the evening dragster. Boy, it grates on you and you look at them, aaahhh, what did I ever see in that person? You start to doubt your decisions about that person. You understand?
Ross: You bet. Audience: You got a third? Ross: A third one? Very good. You're keeping me on my toes. The third one is the experience of meeting someone and you feel, even though you've only known them by the clock a short while, you feel like you've known this person forever, like you were meant to know them. Okay. That's when you go into
Audience: yes Ross: So you can stack them. But you just very subtly make a gesture. ”Oh really. Ralph, Ralph.” You can be more subtle like, "Oh Ralph, Ralph. So tell me
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the incredible connection pattern. Go it? Now let me show you something else about themes. Yes Sir.
their sense of time but their sense of timing. Their personal rhythm. Now listen, look up here. Look up here, don't write notes. Oh, you can write notes, it's not important. I'm sorry, forgive. Merci beaucoup. (French).
Audience: You said the first example would be the experience of one of her friends or of yours? Ross: You go out with a group of friends. Yeah. ”You ever been out with a group of friends Debbie and even though it seems like only an hour's gone by, you look at your watch and go, oh my god, five hours has gone by? Time has just shot by?"
Audience: You have the music but not the words. Ross: That's fine. I only need to fake the music. Audience: Laughter Ross: Well, if you want to speak French you must speak with your lips out here.
Audience: Right Ross: "But within that space of an evening you can be waiting in line at the movie for only ten minutes, but that ten minutes seems like hours.”
Audience: Laughter Ross: That's one of the nicest compliments, that's an excellent compliment to say I have the music and not the words is a profound compliment and I thank you for that. Everything in French sounds lascivious.
Audience: I see. Ross: Yeah. Okay? You want to give universal experiences. So you don't want to say like, "You ever been on the space shuttle ...” Audience: Laughter
Can you say my hovercraft is broken in French? I'm serious.
Ross: "and you're re-entering earth's atmosphere ... or "You know when you're kidnapped by aliens and they're about to insert that anal probe ...”
Audience: You what? Ross: My hovercraft is broken.
Audience: Laughter. It's just like that.
Audience: Hovercraft is this boat ...
Ross: "And it becomes 80 foot satellite dish and your friends Kyle and Stan and Kenny don't believe you?"
Ross: is broken. Yeah. Audience: Au France?
Audience: Laughter
Ross: Yeah.
Ross: You guys, you're being dildos.
Audience: spoken in French
Audience: Laughter
Ross: hover craft
Ross: You guys are going a long way just to scare me.
Audience: Laughter
Audience: Response from audience.
Ross: How do you say I will not buy this record. It is scratched? I'm serious.
Ross: I can't do it. It'll really rip my throat to pieces if I do that. Okay? Now watch this. So you've got her feeling totally time distorted, she's slowed time down and stopped the world and is indulging herself with you. Now watch this. What have we been talking about? Time, right? Now here's a real tricky one. Time, now watch this, I'm going to say "The other thing, " watch how I transition this sexual metaphor and body feeling. You ready? I'll say, "The other thing, the other thing, " notice the transition? "that I think teaches you a lot about people, " Now notice before we set up two themes. What teaches you a lot about people and time? Now I'm going back to the overall theme of what teaches you a lot about people. It's not just people's sense of time but their sense of personal timing. I'm using two things that sound alike but may not have any relation at all. Okay? The other thing that teaches you so much about people is not just
Audience: Really? Ross: Yeah Audience: spoken in French Ross: speaking in French Audience: laughter Ross: And German's more guttural in the throat. We were with Germans yesterday, Austrian girls, and they wouldn't sit down. I said, "Zit in ze zeat" and they both sat. Audience: Laughter Ross: I said you have to give Germans orders, true? You were going, "Sit down, sit down, come one, stay with us, " you were pawing their hands. I went, "Zit in
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ze zeat.” Okay. The other thing I think that teaches you is not just people's sense of time but their sense of personal timing. Their sense of personal rhythm. Okay? That's the transition. Are we out of tape?
insatiably curious about human process, to the extent that you genuinely are curious about this kind of stuff, is the extent that your patterning will become much more powerful. Because instead of being words you're just reciting, it has meaning for you. I want to encourage each and every one of you to become connoisseurs of human subjective internal experience. There's nothing more interesting to me than how human beings do things. When I had people up here and some of them weren't having the, as quick or as strong as response getting rid of the bad feelings, did I get angry at them? Did I?
?: No Ross: We all right? ?: We're excellent. Ross: Are we numbering these so we know where we're at? ?- You're doing wonderful.
Audience: No
Ross: Good. Okay. Their sense of personal rhythm. Listen to me, listen. There are all sorts of rhythms a person has. There's the rhythm of their breathing, there's they rhythm at which they speak, and then there's the very personal, very private, very intimate rhythm of in and out, back and forth, between being outside in the world talking to people and being inside in that place of fantasy, that place of daydream, that place where you keep your most exciting memories. I think you learn so much about people by learning, not just how they enter that place, but when they do, how they strike a balance between anticipation and compulsion.
Ross: Did I display any frustration? Audience: No Ross: Not really. I got curious. I had fun, I'm going to have, what was my attitude? I'm going to really fuck this person up. Right? Audience: Right. Ross: Cause I'm fascinated how people do things. I really want to know. Even when they annoy me. Like I remember talking to this girl who was an unbelievable flake. I hate flakes. One thing, if you ever want to do business with me, do exactly what you say you're going to do, as you say you're going to do it. Cause otherwise I won't be able to, I can't be bothered having to track you. It distracts from my focus having to see, "Well he hasn't done it yet. When is he going to do it? And you're out. And you don't get any chances. You're just out.” Do what you say you're going to do or tell me in advance why you won't be able to. Yes.
Audience: Laughter Ross: Now what pattern am I going into? Audience: The blowjob. Ross: The blow job pattern. Okay? For those of you who don't know the blowjob pattern, we're going to do it tomorrow. So I want you to look at the overall, forget the content, look at overall thematic structure. I'm belaboring this because I want you to understand. I could whip through it and have you memorize it, but it wouldn't be the same. So, so the first part is the overall, overarching theme that surrounds everything is what teaches you about people or what enables you to learn some, what, what allows you to learn so much about people. Here's how you bring it up. You're over, you're having casual conversation over coffee. You go "Do you enjoy learning about people?" What is she going to say? "Fuck no, I'm a dillweed. Take me home.”
Audience: Is the looking versus really seeing, is that part of this overarching thing? Ross: No, that's different, that's a different way of introducing. Okay? So listen. No, that's about differences. The theme is the difference between x and y. But you could say, "You know, I think you learn so much by looking at the difference between one thing and the other" if you wanted to bring that in. Okay? Good. But you're thinking in terms of themes. Themes are important. Themes will allow you to string patterns together to the extent that you begin to think in themes and really get interested in this. All right. Really get interested. I think, don't you think its fascinating how people work? I mean, there are five billion of them surrounding you. Yo u may as well figure out what's going on between their ears. Particularly if you want to get into their wallets or between their legs.
Audience: Laughter Ross: "No, I enjoy making it an exploratory of my nostril up to the third digit. That's what I like to do. Of course she's going to say ... okay? So the, so that's the metatheme. But the first theme is people's sense of time. How time shifts and changes o f people. And by the way, to the extent that you, each and all of you, each of both of you, become
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Audience: Laughter
Ross: Yeah
Ross: Unless you carry a lot of firepower, and then you can do what you want, but then you, there are terrible consequences then. So anyway. Okay. So, we talk about people's sense of time. That's one theme. We, we describe all that. We give three examples okay - all relating here and then we go to the next theme, which is people's sense of timing. Their personal rhythm. Now, how do we get there? We say, "The other thing I think that teaches you so much ...” so we're back here again. We temporarily revisit here. Then say "The other things that teaches you so much is people's sense of personal timing, their personal rhythm.” And then what are you going to do? You're going to give a description. I gave three examples. There's all sorts of rhythms. There's the rhythm with which you breathe, there's the rhythm with which you listen and then there's the very personal, very private, very intimate rhythm of in and out -I lean out a little bit - back and forth. Now what is she going to be thinking when you're talking this way?
Audience: What need is there for small talk, like give her a breather or just ... Ross: No, don't give her a breather, keep going. Okay. Come up here. Come up here. What's your name? Audience: Matt Ross: Matt what? Matt: Gives last name. Ross: Okay. So you and I are in a boxing match, okay. I'm pounding you in the face, pounding you in the body, pounding, pounding. I'm going to go, "Oh, I'll hit him a few more times the next round. I'm going to go sit in my comer.” No, you don't do that. As long as you've got the opening you keep pounding and pounding. Now they may interrupt you. If the interrupt it's okay. They're only going to correct you. It's like you've got your hand here, they go "No, there.” So just go ahead and sit down. Feed their words back to them. Do you get this structure? Advanced students, do you see the structure clearly?
Audience: Sex Ross: Fucking, okay? But when you switch over, see I'm fucking, I'm kind of intruding a little bit, it's the equivalent of putting your hand on her leg, no I don't want to even do, even go that way with you, Okay? See how I stopped myself so quickly? It's equivalent of putting your hand on her leg right there and sliding it further and further up. And suddenly you take it away instead of going for the gold. Okay? So, it's the, then there's that very personal, very private, very intimate rhythm of in and out, back and forth, between being outside in the world talking to people and she's going to go "Oh" but the thought's still going to be there. Okay? And being inside in that place of fantasy and daydream. Okay? And then you go back to this theme. ”I think you learn so much about people by how they enter that place of fantasy and daydream and how they strike a balance between compulsion and anticipation.” Okay? So we keep going back to this theme. And then we go into the blowjob pattern. Do we all know the blowjob pattern?
Audience: Yes Ross: Yes. And you want to keep coming, the reason I like this structure is it allows me to keep going back and saying, "The other thing where you learn so much is not just their sense of rhythm, the other thing that teaches you so much is when they enter that place of fantasy how they strike a balance between compulsion and anticipation.” Now, or those of you who haven't heard the blowjob pattern, here it comes. Okay? "Compulsion is when you just find yourself doing something without ever thinking about it, like, you ever just suddenly find yourself reaching for the refrigerator.” Now what am I doing? Compulsive version anticipation. That's an example of comparing two things that are similar but different. You understand'! I'm using that. ”And you ever just find yourself reaching for the refrigerator and before you know it, you're looking in the refrigerator going, 'What the hell and I doing? I'm not even hungry. Has anyone ever done that?
Audience: yes
Audience: Yes
Ross: Some don't know it. Yes sir? Question ?
Ross: Universal experience. Okay? "But anticipation is when your mind anticipates a pleasure before it already arrives.” Not how many examples am I going to stack?
Audience: Like when you're using this in a conversation ... Ross: Yeah
Audience: Three
Audience: When you're like plowing away with patterns ...
Ross: Right. Why three? It just seems to work.
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Audience: Responses from audience
know so many amazing thoughts come from below me.”
Ross: Huh? More getting power.
Audience: Laughter
Audience: Would that be like authority shift where the, where the last _____ ?
Ross: "Cause you're coming from that much more primitive place inside your mind.” Now, what does that open her up to? What did you just finish talking about?
Ross: Yeah. I'm getting, I'm going to get them progressive so it's not anything to do with authority, but I'm getting them more intimate. So I say like, for example, "You ever come home from a really hot day, a rotten hard day at work, and before you even get home, you can already imagine dropping every stitch of clothing and climbing into that steaming hot bath or shower. Which do you like best?" Whatever she uses. ”And before you even get home, you can imagine that moment when you're standing there, the steam is hitting your body, and then you can imagine that heat working its way through every part of your body.” Now what are you telling her to do? Feel the heat ...
Audience: Response from audience Ross: Primitive places inside her mind, fantasies, daydreams. What could you then move on to talk about? You could say, "You know the thing about fantasies is sometimes a person is having fantasies and you don't even know it till all of a sudden they blurt something out unexpected. Like, about two weeks ago I was sitting with my neighbor, right in this place right here, and she looks at me and she says, 'Can you imagine me going down on you all night long, exactly the way you like it'! And you were so hot, so turned on you knew you had to have me right here, right now?" See how you're building on it? And it all fits into a theme. Now you're transitioning to the theme of fantasies, cause that's what you just finished talking about. Do you see how all the themes can work together and lock in? So, if you want to do patterns in a sequence, think of the themes. And this is a good one. What teaches you about people, what allows you ... ? I think you really learn so much about people by learning how they x. And the other thing that's interesting about x when you learn so much, is how they y. And notice how they y but how they z. Cause when they z. You ever think about the difference z and a? You get it?
Audience: Response from audience Ross: "And then there comes that actual moment of sliding in where you surrender to it completely. Or do you like chocolate? Oh yes, I love chocolate. Did you ever have a piece of chocolate and rather than eat it right away, you save it for yourself, you leave it at home and it's your reward for a hard day's work. And there comes that moment when you unwrap it and its like, you slowly undress this treat, and you hold it right in front of lips and you stop and you tease yourself with it. You imagine that first soft brush of the lips against it. That moment when you tease it, just touch the slightest tip of it against your tongue. Just that first molecule of sweetness and then it melts in your mouth and its like an explosion of pleasure in your mouth.” And often I'll go "It's like an orgasm.” They'll go, "Yes.” I'll go "You ever been really attracted to someone and you know there's an incredible attraction here. But you haven't acted on it yet. And then there comes that moment when you stop talking and you just look at each other. And you know something's about to happen. And you begin to anticipate that first wonderful electric kiss. You know that first soft brush of lips; it's so soft you don't even know if you're kissing yet. And then, it's like this jolt of pleasure and every bit of pleasure that you, that you'll experience when that relationship is enfolded into that first one amazing kiss. So I think what can happen is, the conscious mind can go down into the unconscious and come back up with all these thoughts and id eas and fantasies , and being very intellectual I used to think that my most important thoughts come from above me. But Debbie, now I
Audience: Yes Ross: Now look at the understanding you have now and the understanding you had this morning. Think about the difference you had this morning, the understanding you had this morning and the understanding you have right now. I wonder if the understanding you have right now compared to the understanding you're going to have tomorrow is like the understanding you had this morning compared to the understanding you have now. Do you understand? Audience: Right Ross: Now? Audience: Yes Ross: Want to take a break? Five minute pee break. Five minutes.
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BREAK
Ross: You can do that, too. But all I'm saying is I've given you a sequence where you can go set, one doorway to the next . You can use this on the phone; you can start tonight testing it if you want to. Do you understand?
Ross: People, realize I just gave you a pattern sequence you can call any woman you know on the phone and do. Any one of those combinations I showed you, you can call her on the phone and talk. It's the perfect sequence for a woman you already know. If You already know her, "Oh, I saw this show on the Discovery Channel" or "Have you ever thought about the difference between looking and really seeing" or "You know, I was thinking about.” Here's how you bring up the time one. You want to do this on the phone? "I was reading this book on quantum physics and they were saying how time is not just a linear thing but time exists simultaneously, that the past, present and future all exist right now. It got me thinking how you can learn so much about people by learning how their sense of time subjectively shifts and changes.” Then go right into the pattern. I've just given you things you can use on the phone tonight to test.
Audience: Yes Ross: Yes Audience: _____ . One thing with the patterns is these are eliciting states. One of the things I do with patterns is as I know a state's being elicited I'll also set an anchor there, too, so later on I can fire off that anchor cause if I'm telling a pattern and the woman's getting all aroused, you know, heck, that's a resource state. Ross: You're missing the point. Your voice becomes the anchor. I can call women up and just read from the phone book and they go gaga cause they're anchored into my voice. Cause my voice is what's led them throughout these things. Yes.
Audience: Ross,
Audience: You say when you throw in things like UMM just at the right time, you get ...
Ross: What? Audience: What do you want to do more at first
Ross: UMMM
Ross: You can do this on ...
Audience: a particular _____ anchor ...
Audience: _____
Ross: You go "UMMM, do like chocolate? UMMM.”
Ross: Oh no you don't. Here's how you close on the phone. So she's panting heavy, breathing heavy, go "Well, I've got to go. The Three Stooges are on.”
Audience: So there'd be no advantage in the aesthetic anchor? Ross: You can do it, but if you're on the phone, how do you do that? Okay? We're talking about doing it on the phone. See?
Audience: laughter Ross: I'm serious. Go, "I'm sorry. South Park is on.” Yes.
Audience: The next thing is she doesn't, she can do whatever she wants, but think that you don't know what she's doing. Laughter.
Audience: Using the crazy _____ method where you just dial up numbers randomly, can you use this method for a person you don't know?
Ross: Yeah. That's the other advantage. When you're on the phone, she's in the privacy of her own bedroom ...
Ross: Yes, yes. Audience: It looks like it's a little hot, too, but you never know.
Audience: Laughter
Ross: What?
Ross: And I'll even add in little things. If she's on the phone, I'll say, "You know, sometimes you can't even put your finger on why you really feel all that.” Audience: Responses from audience.
Audience: You were saying Ross: I said you can do it in person but I'm saying, I'm saying, thank you, I'm saying if you want to test it tonight and you know someone's number, pick up the phone and call them. Call a voice mail message service.
Ross: "You can't put your finger on the source of all that excitement. But when you do, UMMM.” What am I giving her a command to do? Does anyone not get it?
Audience: Question from audience.
Audiences: Responses from audience
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Ross: Okay? So, the other thing about being on the phone is your, your mouth is right up to her ear, no one's watching, she can feel free to have all the responses she wants. And then when you're done, go "Well, I've gotta go. South Park's on.” Or whatever show's on, or "I gotta go, you know, someone's, I've gotta meet someone for coffee.” "Who? Who?" "Oh, never mind, I'll tell you about her tomorrow.”
Ross: "Maybe, maybe I better wait until I'm rested Up. I'll talk to YOU in two days.”
than fake it and go, "Yes, Ross. Hallelujah, I'm cured" and view me as some guru who they have to obey, they were honest in their response and go no, and they said, "No, I still have some of the shyness.” So I was able to work with them. And that shows me, rather than viewing me as some guru you have to obey, you view me as a teacher who's generally concerned with you getting the material. So again, throughout the rest of the weekend, if you're having a challenge, you don't understand something, this is the magical thing. You raise your hand and we'll help you out. Okay?
Audiences: Laughter. Response from audience.
Audience: Okay.
Ross: Give a woman a little bit of what she wants. then pull away and make her work for more. You See how it ties in? Never supplicate. Only ever structure Opportunities and, and, present challenges, offer challenges. Now, the thing about patterns is people will say, "How do I know where to start?" Start anywhere. If you get flexible enough you can start from any one pattern and go to any other using the structure I just gave you. I just gave you a crash Course on conversational flexibility. Someone, please be quiet if you heard this story before. , Someone said to me, "You know, Ross. You would have been so proud of me. I went to this bar and I was talking to this woman and she looked at me and said, 'You know, you got me so hot by the way you speak, all I would need right now to go home with you and bang your headlights out and give you the best fucking of your life is one more beer. ’" And he said, “Ross, you would have been so proud of me. I went into my own version of the blow job pattern, talking about a beer. I found out what her favorite was, Amsdel Light, and said 'Do you ever have that Amsdel Light, take it out of the fridge and it's sweating, like someone who's stepping out of the shower and beads of sweat and the beads of water are slowly evaporating. And then you open it up and the head begins to foam up. You pour the golden liquid into the bottle. You imagine it sliding down your throat. You want to lick the head a little bit, suck down all the foam. ' And by the time I finished, I looked up, she was gone. Ross, what should I have said?" "Well, she looked at you and said all she needed was one more beer to go home and bang your headlights out, you know what the pattern you should have done was?" He said, "What?" I said, "Bartender.”
Ross: What I want to start out doing this morning is, yesterday someone was still a little bit lost about what we did at the end of the day. So I want to go through it again very rapidly so you get it. It's very important. As I said, there are three big chunks to speed seduction. Okay? And one of the big chunks is the conversational frameworks. Conversational frameworks - what is the purpose of a conversational framework? Remember one of the big questions to ask yourself in getting this material is "What is the purpose of this?" "What is it designed to do?" Well, the purpose of a conversational framework is to, number one, let You bring up the topic in a normal, ordinary-sounding conversation. The second purpose of conversational framework is to allow you to flow from one pattern to the next . How many people here are familiar with Dr. Laturrett? Who's seen Dr. Laturrett do this thing? I mean, he hits a lot very rapidly, okay? Flow hitting. Well, I sort of compare it to flow hitting in a fight. You want to be able to hit more than once okay? So, how many people here have ever tried patterns and they ran out of things to say after the first pattern? It happened to me when I really only experimenting, okay? That's because you don't know where to go next. Well, conversational frameworks allow you to always know where to go next. Now, there's some major pieces to conversational frameworks. The first piece you really want to get is the overall theme. Remember when the big overall theme we were doing the other day is how you learn about people. Now, when you pick a conversational framework, when you pick an overall theme, you want to pick something that's really broad. Why don't you want to pick the exact composition of phonograph needles from 1963?
Audience: Laughter
Audience: laughter
Ross: Is that we had a line of people up here and you'll notice that what happened is that some of them were still having some shyness left over. And rather
Ross: I think you learn so much about the exact phonograph - I mean, because it doesn't really leave you a lot to go. But, what teaches you about people,
Audiences: Laughter.
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how you learned a lot about people? I mean, that's such a broad topic you could go anywhere with it. All right? So, you don't want to paint yourself into a comer. It's like, the only punch you have in the fight is, you know, your arms stuck under your leg, hopping up and down on one foot. Okay? You want to give yourself a lot of space. Here's the metaphor I use. I like boxing. I'm a fight fan. I enjoy boxing. The metaphor I use is, you don't want to start out boxing from a comer, okay? What I do is I start out with a broad topic, so I'm in the center of the ring with the person. Here's the metaphor I like to use. So, the first few, the first round, what do boxers do? Do they come out slugging with everything they've got the first round?
Audience: Ross, are you saying that's the way to open a conversation? Ross: Yes. It's a good, it's not only a good way to open a conversation, but it's a good way to go, it's a good thing to revisit to introduce any other topic. ”And here's something else that teaches you a lot about people" or "Here's something else where you learn a lot about people. And not only do you learn a lot about people that way, but here's another way you learn about people.” So, write these phrases down. These are transition phrases. ”And here's something else that teaches you a lot about other people.” At the top of your paper write "Transition Phrases.” And underneath transition phrases write "And here's something else where, here's another way you learn a lot about people.” Transition. ”Here's another way you learn about people.” You can say it like this, "And the other thing that teaches you a lot about people is ...” Or you could say "Not only do you learn a lot about people by learning how they x, " which is what you just talked about, "but also how they y.” "Not only do you learn about, a lot about people by learning how time passes for them subjectively, but also about, but also their personal timing, their personal rhythms.”
Audience: They feel each other out. Ross: Once in a while. But usually what they do is they're feeling the opponent out. They're getting a sense of what the person's rhythm is, where they're strong, where they're off balance. They're dancing around the first round. Okay? So, I kind of view it as if we're in the center of the ring and the first pattern I do, I'm like beginning to get their rhythm. I'm starting to like get a few shots in, they're dropping their arms a little bit. Okay? The second pattern I'm shoving them more towards the comer. Okay? And now I really got, I got, now, by the third pattern they're in the comer. You ever see a good boxer who just gives body shots? This is a hostile metaphor. I don't mean it's like fighting, but this is just one metaphor I'm using to get your understanding, cut the ring off conversationally. Conversationally, I want to cut the ring off on someone. Do you know what it means in boxing to cut the ring off of someone?
Audience: Would you Ross: Sure. Audience: Another way you learn a lot about people is to what? Ross: Not only do you learn about people from this, this being whatever you just talked about, but the other thing that teaches you a lot about people is ... ]'his is a great topic because, "Who's going to say 'No, I don't want to learn about people?’" And second, it implies that you're teaching them something, which means you're a great person, which through the law of reciprocity means they owe you something. Now, there's a difference between being a teacher and being someone you can learn from. Major Mark, you want to jump in here briefly and talk about that difference?
Audience: There's nowhere for them to go. Ross: Nowhere for them to go. They can't dance away from you. You've got them in a comer. Okay? Well, a good boxer will throw a lot of body shot and you're thinking, "Why is he throwing body shots? You're not going to knock the guy out.” Well, what happens? What happens to a fighter who's been hit a lot to the body?
Yates: This is the end of Side 7 of the Basic Speed Seduction Home Study Course by Ross Jeffries
Audience: Responses Ross: They drop their arms and then, boom, they're out of there, they're gone. So, conversationally, I want something that let's me to move, that allows me to move around and gradually cut the ring off on the person. Okay? So, how you learn a lot about people is a good overall topic. Okay? Why? Because it allows you to go to this and here's the other thing that teaches you about people.
Tape 4 – Side 2 Yates: This is Side 8 of the Ross Jeffries Basic Speed Seduction Home Study Course
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Ross: When, the difference between someone who's a teacher and someone you learn from?
"Oh, here's one part of our life where I may understand something a little more fully than you, here, I can help you along.” Okay? It's like imagine the path of life being full of all kinds of twists and turns and occasionally ...
Major Mark: Well, the biggest difference is that we're culturally condition to understand or believe that trainers or teachers are an "other.” Okay? They're someone above you, they're someone Outside your realm of experience, and they're not someone you're supposed to fuck. Okay? Or to allow to fuck you. So, when you come into the role as a teacher or a trainer, in fact, you have set yourself in a lose/lose kind of situation. Okay? If instead you are someone that they can learn from, then you're in a position of being fascinating, okay? You can exert a mesmerizing influence, okay? And because you are someone that can learn from, it's not longer an encapsulated lesson or a teaching, but rather it's a process. The more they're around you, the more that they are taking you into themselves, the better they feel, the larger their life becomes.
Ross: I'm a turn, he's a twist. Major Mark: Okay. I just came back from 5 days at Disneyland, so I'm real familiar with things like standing in line fucking forever. Okay? You know? Audience: Laughter Major Mark: That's right. You don't need to take these things deep inside. Just don't pay any attention, it'll come to you later. Ross: That's brilliant. You know, I talk about your trips, you know I went to Disneyland and we were standing inline fucking forever. Audience: Laughter
Audience: laughter
Major Mark: See? I open my mouth and these things come out.
Ross: Exactly. Yeah, I like it. And when you have a new understanding coming inside you that grows and grows, you can conceive of something new and different. No, you don't want to say that.
Ross: I know. And you know, we were arguing over which attraction we liked the best and I saw this ride. Did you ever look at a ride and you know, you got to jump on this? And it looks so incredible you want to ride it multiple times, you want to get off and get on, get off, get on, anyway.
Audience: Laughter Major Mark: Growing inside you day by day. Audience: Laughter
Audience: Laughter
Ross: Absolutely correct. Thank you Major. Yes,
Ross: As we were waiting in line, go ahead. I rip off ... We're a great team, aren't we?
Audience: So how would one distinguish one's behavior between being a teacher and being someone to learn from? What would one do to that would make that difference?
Major Mark: So? Ross: Right Ed? Right Stan.
Major Mark: Okay. _____ how you structure your approach to the person. Okay? If you are coming across as preaching, for example, or if you have this attitude yourself that you are some kind of hot shit, I understand more than you kind of person, then you're going to impart a lesson to that person, to your subject, to the woman. Okay? And this, they pick up on this. Okay? I used to think that women had antenna that men don't have, okay, because they were always picking up on things, additional messages, that I perhaps didn't intend or was kind of horrified that it had gotten out. Okay? I later come to understand that we all have the same antenna, it's just that men switch it off most of the time. During the early parts of our life it wasn't valued and so we didn't practice it so much. If instead you approach the interaction with the understanding and the belief that
Major Mark: As you're standing in line, you have this phenomenon where you'll be right across from someone and then the line moves on, okay, and then a few minutes later your paths cross again. Okay? And sometimes when they start splitting you into multiple lines heading the same direction, you're never really sure of who's ahead or who's behind, just know the relative position changes? Okay? Think about that as a mindset when you're talking to someone who doesn't currently understand what you understand. At that point and time, you may be a little bit ahead. It costs you nothing to lead them to a better, more full understanding of what's going on because you know that a little bit farther down the line you're going to be learning something from her as well. Okay? You're not teaching, you're sharing. What is the most interesting and natural thing for her to do once you have shared
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with her? The principle of reciprocity comes into affect. She will want to share something with you. Now, is there anything she might have or understand that you might find of value? Perhaps, yes?
you draw closer and you really begin to feel that sense of a connection, that click right there, that allows you to stop and look past the surface, see something deeper, something you want to take inside and allow to really resonate with who you truly are and the deepest levels, deep inside your soul.” "It's the kind of thing that can cause a person t come over and over and over again to one conclusion.”
Audience: Laughter Ross: How to swallow a banana sideways? Audience: Laughter
Audience: Laughter
Major Mark: Hand her a cherry stem and say, "Do you, do you do anything with this?"
Ross: "That there's a real opportunity here. And the really interesting thing about opportunities is this.” Okay? Or, "The other interesting this about opportunities is this, " so here's another transition phrase. ”And the other interesting things, " See, it just seems to flow me like, I don't know, it flows, but only cause I understand the transitions. And one, one drill you guys can do, you folks at home can do, is to take any topic and relate it to any other topic no matter how ridiculous by using these transitional phrases. And here's the other thing about transitional phrases. ”It's just like, you know, you ever been waking up and then rather than wake up all the way you just begin to fall right back down to sleep and you go into that state between a dream and between being awake? And in that state you begin to visualize wild amazing things. You hear things very clearly, you see things, you imagine body sensations. The interesting thing to me about being able to enter that state, well, its just like when you go on vacation and you leave behind the part of you that has all the rules, all the roles and instead you step into that part that has wild desires, the fantasies, ideas. I mean, you ever just find yourself thing about certain Subjects? The more you think about that subject, the more the desire to act on it, just begins to come into play. Well, you know, I think you learn so much about people by learning how they connect to that part of themselves.” See where I'm going? I'm using transition phrases left and right. You have a question with this.
Audience: Laughter Ross: Tie a knot in it with her tongue. Major Mark: That's right. Yeah. Ross: Some people can do that. Audience: Brooke Shields. Major Mark: Brook Shields say that? Audience: She did that on the Jay Leno show. Major Mark: Brook Shields doing that, I mean, that would probably send me right into a trance ... Audience: Laughter Major Mark: It checks the position, you know. Ross: But there's, there's another distinction between a teacher and specifically us, is we're not, again, we're not, when we do these patterns, we're not trying to convey to her an intellectual understanding. What are we attempting to do? Audience: Get a result. Ross: Get a result, to lead her into a certain state or states of mind. So one of the other distinctions is teachers traditionally are there to convey intellectual understanding or to help you memorize something you can regurgitate on a piece of paper and that's, that's not our intent at all. It's not what we're about. So let me get back to this. We have a little problem with his microphone. That's all right, okay. Transition phrases. Now there are other ways to do transition phrases, no matter what topic you start with. You can start with any topic and a good transition phrase "It's just like when" or "it's just like.” So I'm talking about rhino testicles, okay? And the real interesting thing about rhino testicles is they're so huge and they look so tough and yet they're so sensitive.” "It's just like when you meet someone ...”
Audience: Yes. Basically, you just went through like three or four ... Ross: Yeah Audience: parts just by introducing ... Ross: Yes. Yes. Yes. You get a sense of real flexibility with this and it begins to make you very Powerful in your conversation. Okay? Now understand, this is a part of it, another part which we're going to be dealing with today is noticing responses and getting rapport with people. I'm going to show you guys, now, I'm going to show you guys some exercises where you
Audience: Laughter Ross: "and on the surface they seem one way, but as
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can sort of look at the person, briefly step inside them, get a sense of what their emotional state is like, and decide how or if you're going to approach. Okay? Do you understand?
them and then we'll laugh at you, ha ha ha ha ha. We're not letting this person back in the seminar. Major Mark: We'll laugh in a compassionate manner. Ross: Yeah, right. Yeah, that's it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Where like someone trips and breaks their nose. We, you know what, we don't always take people's money, we kick people out and give them their money back. We've had some customers that we said "We're not doing business with you, you're off the list. Here's a refund, get out of here.”
Audience: Yes Ross: So this is very important. The other thing I want you to think about, to begin to think about in terms of, is to think in terms of, well, let me put it to you this way. As I said the other day, women tend to compartmentalize sexual thoughts. There are certain themes they are going to let you get into that compartment. And I know when you guys think of the compartment you want to get into ...
Audience: For bad ass ass? Ross: No, not for bad ass ass.
Audience: Laughter
Audience: Laughter
Ross: You're thinking about the wrong thing, Because that's not where you put your attention. Okay? So there's certain themes, even if you didn't know any of the embedded commands, any of the patterns and language, by virtue of being able to understand and intelligently discuss those themes, you're going to get a lot further. Okay? Now what are some of those themes? Dryrot, fungus ...
Ross: I'll just have my mom come up, call up and bitch you out, you know? How do you spell that word? Audience: Laughter. What did you kick them out for? Ross: If I got a Nobel Prize, my mom would go, "They misspelled Nobel.” No, not really. Oh, bad attitude, you know, like, "Well you have to show us. I don't believe this. You show me now.” And we showed them the door or, you know, if they call up on the phone and go, "Well I think this is fraud, you better show ...” Goodbye, I don't need you. And I've also had people doing consults, forgive me, one second, I've had people doing consults on the phone and they're not willing to do the work. I'll go, "Forget it. You're not willing to do the work, you're a lazy ass, send it back, I don't want your money if you re not going to get the results. Send back and I'll give you a refund.” You know?
Audience: Laughter Ross: Trans Ams and IROCs. Unlikely, okay? Audience: WWF Ross: WWF. Yeah, the World Wrestling Federation. Audience: Laughter. Ross: I remember this girl. I could not crack her but as soon as I started talking about Andre the Giant, that was it. I said, "You know, Andre the Giant ...”
Audience-. How would you write the essay? How would you ...
Audience: Laughter Ross: For those of you at home, I'm pointing at my crotch. ”Andre the Giant, man, he was big. He was so big that couldn't fit him in that little ring.”
Ross: Well, I'll let's take, pick a theme. How about fantasies? I'll give you some hints about fantasy. Fantasies. Now, right there, that's a lot more interesting than, than double blind she variable studies on mice urine.
Audience: Laughter. Ross: Don't try this at home. No. There's certain, there's certain themes, you know, rather than me give it away, I want you to think it, I'm not going to give you the language. I want you to think about these themes and really begin to explore it for yourself because there are levels of understanding this. I could spoon feed you. And through the weekend I have been and will continue to spoonfeed you in some respects, but to really encourage you to, to get his, I want you to think about what it means to, to, what these themes are all about, what are these themes, write little essays, you know. Mark and I will grade
Audience: Laughter Ross: It's more, it's got more ... I learned something from comedy writing. I wasn't a very good comedy writer, but I did learn to develop what, it's funny. The guy who taught me comedy writing, Danny Simon, Nell Simon's brother, he said, "When you write comedy, you learn to develop a sense of smell he actually had an olfactory sense. He would smell if a subject was funny. He said, "That smells funny.” Okay. You learn to develop sort of a sense of smell about what topics have a lot of potential. I don't want
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to get too ...
Audience: Response from audience.
Audience: Response from audience.
Ross: Who said that?
Ross: And I don't, ha ha, I don't want to get too far into this, cause ...
Audience: Said what? Ross: Say it again. What does it imply?
Audience: Response from audience.
Audience: Responses from audience.
Ross: I don't want to get too far into this because this is a basic seminar and this is a fairly advanced topic. We're just to touch on it, to touch on it briefly, cause some things ...
Ross: Subconscious, okay. They're automatic. What else about fantasies? Audience: They're fun, responses from audience.
Audience: Laughter
Ross: They're fun. That's true. Well it depends on ... If you're Stephen King, they're not.
Ross: Somethings you just want to touch on lightly, skim the surface, and then go back.
Audience: Laughter
Audience: Laughter and response from audience
Ross: It would be fun to do the Stephen King pattern, to take the part of someone's mind where they have their sexual fantasies and put Stephen King in there.
Ross: Yeah, yeah, well ... Audience: Laughter
Audience: Response from audience.
Ross: Well, if you don't, hey, if you want to blow this opportunity, then fine.
Ross: Yeah. Audience: You could say it allows everybody their own individual roles as opposed to force of evil to live in the real world or ...
Audience: Not on your life. Ross: Yeah. I would rather grab a hold of this opportunity, you know, expand it, make it bigger, you know.
Ross: Ooohh, say that again. Say that out loud. Louder.
Audience: Laughter
Major Mark: Well, you know, some people reach out for it naturally, and other people, you've just got to feed it to them.
Audience: It allows individuals to be in their own world, because there's only one real world, and we all have to live in it, but for a fantasy, create our own world, and live ... Ross: Okay. Now listen to what he said. That's ripe with possibility. I mean that is pregnant with ... Okay? Allows you to be in your own world versus the real world. What does that imply?
Ross & Audience: Laughter
Audience: Anything goes, everything's possible ...
Ross: But don't ...
Ross: Different places in the mind, that's right. That's, that's, hmmm, boy that smells like a good one to me. What do you think? Different places in the mind, okay? How about the fact that people can travel back and forth between worlds? Yes.
Ross: That it in a new direction. Audience: And see what can come up.
Major Mark: You're the expert. Ross: You can reject it now, but you'll get it in the end. Audience: Laughter Major Mark: Some fantasies ...
Audience: It's also the origin of every invention that was ever made.
Ross: Aaahhh ... All right. But fantasies, let's think about this. Let's see what we can spin or riff off of this. Just if we have different little pieces floating out here, floating out there. You know what? Fantasies. How about, well, let me, let do this this chronic, a little more . To stimulate your idea centers. Are fantasies things that we have complete control over?
Ross: That's true. It's, it's, it has an origin of inventiveness. Audience: Say what, origin ... Ross: Well that, that, people tend to come up with new ideas from special place of fantasy not the place of the real world. Yes.
Audience: No.
Audience: I'd say also fantasies develop as the
Ross: What does that imply?
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individual develops more experience, as the person has widespread or ...
Audience: Laughter
this is really specific. This is, this is gold coin guys. What does it lead to next? Okay? When you want to give a description of anything, ask yourself these questions and allow those questions to generate the descriptions. Let's try this. So let's say someone is having sexual fantasies. If you were going to describe it by answering these questions, what descriptions would you come up with? Yeah, answer that question. You're lying there on a bed of nails with a flamethrower up your ass. Is that how it happens?
Ross: I really have matured, haven't I?
Audience: Laughter
Audience: Laughter
Ross: Answer that question. Where does it happen? Use your words and tell me, where does it happen? Major Mark: Think back. Have you ever had a sexual fantasy in you life? And as you have it, where were you? Not where were you physically, but what was going on ...
Ross: That's true. But you want to be careful with languaging like widespread. Audience: Laughter Ross: It could be a command for people to get fat. No, ...
Major Mark: and go for it. Ross: No, uh uh. Audience: Responses from audience. Ross: No, no, no, no, no, no, no. I got control here, uh, uh, ain't gonna happen. And that's the most important thing about seducing women.
Ross: No. I want to know where he was physically. Major Mark: Oh. Okay.
Audience: Laughter
Ross: I would say, start by saying I, I was ... where?
Ross: How we think. Is that a great insight, what do you think?
Audience: I was laying in bed ... Ross: Good. Good. That's so you're laying there in bed and we don't want to get into this because it's getting kind of kinky, but here's my point. This is how you build patterns for yourself By listing these questions and then by answering them as if you were describing it to a third party. You get it?
Audience: Applause, laughter, cheering, responses from audience. Ross: Can I borrow your pattern honey? And if you don't get it, then you're dead meat. Audience: Ow, ooohhh.
Audience: Uh hmmm. How would or what happens next ...
Ross: All right. Just kidding. So, these are, think about this.
Ross: How intensely ...
Audience: Laughter
Audience: Would you give an example of that?
Ross: Sshhh. Think about this. They're automatic, how about this? How about sometimes they take on a life of their own? You ever had fantasies take on a life of their own? I want you guys to ask the question, okay, granted that fantasies take on a life of their own, what is the structure of that? If I had to describe that experience, how would I describe it? What happens on the inside when fantasies take on a life of their own? Where does that happen? Write this down. Where does it happen, how quickly does it happen, how intensely does it happen, when does in happen? These are the things I talk about when I describe something. How does it happen, when does it happen, how quickly, how intensely, what is it that triggers it?
?: I told her or I told them or ... Ross: You know Debbie, it's so interesting I think, you know, when you have fantasies with someone, it's like when you go home, you're lying there in bed, you find that place in your mind where you think your most exciting thoughts, where you keep you amazing memories. And then you begin to picture this person in you mind. Okay? And the more that happens the more you begin to imagine their touch, you hear their voice. And then its like anything in your environment triggers it, like whenever you step into the shower? Remember what triggers it in the environment. You can put that down. What is it that triggers it in the environment? These are examples of the kind of questions you want to ask yourself in order to construct your own pattern and language. You're going to be using this. You'll be using this cause, to
Audience: The perspective you bring to it. Ross: The perspective you bring to it. This is great,
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write new patterns. I'm telling you how I think, I'm lifting up my dress, going look. Anything you care to add to that Major Mark?
It's one thing to talk about fantasy, it's another thing to talk about reality. But when you talk about the moment in time, the point where you cross over from fantasy into reality, he didn't say from reality into fantasy, he said from fantasy into reality, implying that you're going to act on the fantasy that you're having. You understand? This is something Mark said once to me. I was stuck with something, remember? I was sitting there going, you know I sat there on my vacation and I couldn't figure this out. And you said, you quoted a famous figure from history who we will not mention, cause we don't want those neuro associations with us. But you said, "Try asking this question Ross. Saying what is it that compels us to do what we do? What is it that causes us to take action.” And I riffed on it. I said, "Yes, what is it that takes something that just one moment before was a fantasy and the next moment becomes our living, breathing, pulsating, energized reality? Something that absorbs and lifts us into another You understand?
Major Mark: The more evocative your language is, even if you're thinking it to yourself, the more evocative your language is, the more powerful the descriptions, the more real the fantasy becomes and when you're talking to a woman you want to lead her to a new understanding or a new experience, you want to make the fantasy as strong a reality as you can. Get it? It must become real to be real. Okay? There is a point, there's a, where you cross over that dividing line between fantasy and reality and the great truth, anchoring truth, is that all realities begin as fantasies. Okay? ?: They didn't even hear it. They didn't even hear it. ?: Booo Ross: You see, when Mark says something like that and I hear a pattern, I like have detectors. I go dong dong dong, did you see me guys. He said, "There's a point where fantasy crosses over and becomes what was exactly was the languaging you said?
Major Mark: Absolutely. Ross: Yeah. And so I, this, this is so good. The point where you cross the dividing line between fantasy and reality. So one way to riff on the topic is to take something that's different from that and then ... Yes? You had a question?
Major Mark: That's it. Ross: There a line you cross ... Audience: Fine line
Audience: Yeah. I'm sorry. It just reminds me so much of why people are so fascinated with Disney movies, adults ...
Ross: There's a fine line that you cross where a fantasy becomes reality. Ooohhh, did you hear that? That's a difference between a woman just thinking about banging you and jumping your bones. Did you hear that? That's a pattern. That's the subject matter for an incredible pattern. He just drops it and you don't even hear it, but I'm going dong, dong, dong ...
Ross: Are we getting him? Audience: Because it's a cartoon on the surface and it seems like it should be for kids, but the dialogue is written so colorfully and so distinctly that adults are able to get into it as well. So, while it seems like childhood fantasy, it may be geared towards children, it becomes an adult's reality. So therefore, they're into it and they sell of these.
Audience: _____ reality. Major Mark: It's a reality. You say the one reality that we all share, now I could easily differ with you on that one. Okay? But the thing is, you start there, then you start moving to a conversation about fantasy, and then the words imply that you want her to start thinking about reality but the process drives her deeper into a richer, more evocative fantasy.
Ross: Now listen, listen. Very bright man. Cause what did I say yesterday? That the subconscious, the unconscious recognizes structures. ”Oh it seems harmless cause it's only a cartoon, so it's okay to do it.” If they made a movie with real people, not only would it be too expensive, but the theme would be way too controversial to touch it. You understand? So in the sense you're like Disney, you're creating these structure where it's okay for her to explore themes and topics that she normally would never do with anyone else. You get it? And there's something else, The very fact that she is exploring this with you makes her really think this must be the, someone very
Ross: Right. There's an, there's a big structure here. Let this, this is great. This is where Mark and I do gold together and you won't get this anywhere else in the world. Listen, we're taping it. Listen. You start, it's sort of a pace and lead. You start with one, with one thing which is she's in one state and then by talking about another state you bring her to the line between them and you get her to cross over. Think about it.
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special. She doesn't realize she's exploring it with you cause you've structured her to do that. Do you understand?
Audience: Laughter Ross: In the hands of the right woman, guns are good. Right.
Audience: Yes.
?: But for example, Homer goes into, Homer goes into the gun shop on a recent episode and they, and he's pissed off and he needs a gun. And the guy said there's a seven-day waiting period. And Homer goes but I want my gun now, but I'm mad now.
Ross: This is the power of using the proper structure in you communication. Does everyone, I know there's at least one person here who doesn't understand the distinction about structure. But he gave a very good example. Now you know, Jonathan Swift was very good at that. He would take a political point and he'd put in into a fantasy tale. Gulliver's Travels was all a political satire. You're a comedy writer, you know about this kind of stuff.
Ross & Audience: laughter ?: And the guy goes I'm sorry, sir. You have to wait seven days. And Homer goes, uhhh, if I had my gun, I'd shoot you.
?: Modest proposal?
Ross & Audience: Laughter
Ross: Right
Ross: No, I'm pro-guns, so we're going, we're going to eliminate that. I'm pro-choice and I'm just prochoice so one choice is to own a gun.
?: Modest proposal. Ross: Okay. Hang on.
Major Mark: Well, people don't understand. It's not the bullet that kills you, it's the hole.
?: The modest proposal's on Politically Incorrect, where we would take a subject, satirize it and say, you know, for example, a good solution to get people to ride the subway is to make it a ride. That's the kind of thing that Jonathan Swift would propose.
Ross & Audience: Laughter. Ross: Ohhh, Mark. We're getting racy here. So anyway, let me get back to this. But you see, but you see what can grow, do you see what can grow out of
?: You don't want to put a loop in the subway.
Audience: Laughter
Ross: Or, or take Animal Farm, the George Orwell story, Animal Farm. He wrote a fictional tale of animals who took over a farm but it was really about totalitarianism and the dictatorial mindset. Because he told it as a children's tale, he was able to get away with it.
Ross: Proper discussion of fantasy. Okay? Are you getting this? You're not looking very happy, you're looking like, you get it? Okay. So, I like that, this notion of a dividing line, cause what else does the dividing line imply? It means you're standing right on the edge. You can't sit there any more on your ass, you have to go one way or the other. That's another topic, okay? He was talking about the dividing line between fantasy becoming reality, but how about the topic of dividing lines in and of itself? That's an interesting topic, isn't it? "You know, I was thinking about Debbie? I was thinking about how much of our lives is determined by what I call dividing lines. The line between one thing and the very moment, transitioning into another thing. Like the line between hesitation and going for it.” Okay? This is how you develop themes. This is how you get good at this stuff. We'll spoonfeed you later in the weekend, but right now, we really want to open up you consciousness to learn to think. Now, stop a minute. Compare this kind of discussion and this kind of thinking, compare this kind of discussion and this kind of thinking with what the average frustrated chump does before he goes out on a date. What is he thinking?
Audience: It's true. A lot of times the different animals represent different races. But if you had different races, people would get very offended. Ross: Right, exactly, exactly, exactly. Audience: A bunny rabbit and a bear ... Ross: Yeah, exactly right. Okay. ?: Also, to take the Disney step one point further is even The Simpson's, they gave you, which is far more subversive than anything Disney Ross: I love Simpson's ?: _____ subversive TV show in history to television because they have this lovable kid and they're hammering home themes like guns are bad and nuclear power is ... Ross: Guns are good, by the way. Guns are good, so get out of here.
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Audience: What am I going wear.
Okay? I would imagine right over her left shoulder that I saw a monitor and on that monitor I would display what it was I wanted as my outcome. Now, being the crass individual that I am, okay, I would often visualize her blowing me on this monitor. Okay? And the amazing thing is that as I did this over and over, of course I'd start out with these highly idealized, you know, stolen images from some porn film or something like that, okay. But the idea is to imagine her doing it. And much to my surprise, I would find out that I'd walk up, I'd introduce myself to some fine-looking woman, start talking, and I'd realize she was giving me this very awkward blowjob over her left shoulder. And I'm thinking well she's not any good, I don't want to talk to her.
Ross: What I'm going to wear Audience: Responses from audience Ross: Yeah, I hope I look nice, I hope I get some, when do I go for it, Audience: Responses from audience Ross: How much should I spend tonight, Audience: Laughter Ross: Does she have a sister, Audience: Got to go to the ATM Ross: What?
Audience: Laughter
Audience: Does Spanish Fly really work?
Ross: Okay, so I excuse myself and go on. But that's one of the ways, you have to keep an out, an outcome in mind so that no matter what happens, no matter which way the conversation goes, how she reacts to the theme, whether you need to switch to another theme, no matter what happens, you want to keep that outcome in mind. Okay? Because that's where you want to go. The whole purpose of your life is getting to where you want to go. Right? Say yes.
Ross: Does it? Audience: Responses and laughter Ross: Will that, will the makeup hide the chancre? You know. Audience: Laughter Ross: Okay? Audience: What are rubies?
Audience: Yes
Ross: What are rubies.
Ross: Now, the second thing you can do is to trust the teaching. Okay? Trust the technology. The reason that we do things like conversational framework is you no longer have to know where you're going. Okay? So long as you understand transition phrases, so long as you understand you’ll have a wide variety of possible themes you can play with, and so long as you trust the fact that you're playing, you're having fun, you're discovering something about her and discovering something about yourself and the way that you respond to her, is you have a clear idea of where outcome is or what your outcome is, it doesn't really matter how you loop around in between. Because you're going to get there, you're going to get your outcome. That's the whole point. So, there are ways to keep track of where you're going at same time. It's not all that important to keep track and what happens next. Frank?
Audience: Laughter Ross: Ooohhh, he's a bad boy. I don't know if we want him in here any more. Well, he's working on a screenplay. Yes, Dr. Kay. Dr. Kay: We're talking about Ross: Yeah, topic, theme. Yeah, uh hmmn, sure. Okay, but see, a topic, a topic usually implies singularity. Okay. It's a thing that you talk about, okay. A theme is a direction. Right? A theme you can riff off constantly. Okay? I want to return to an earlier question. Yes, the fellow in the back wanted to know what happens if, how you keep track of where you're going. As you go into trance yourself, okay, as you lead her into exciting new places, a possibility, how you keep track of where you're going. Okay? Now, you ought to know better than to ask that question, cause in Hawaii I gave you the very specific example of what I started doing this, I wanted, I wanted to make sure I was tracking my ideal outcome and to insure that the outcome I was going for was, in fact, going to get me what I wanted. So, I would hallucinate. Everybody know what a really nice TV looks like? The clarity of picture, that crisp picture?
Frank: When you say trust the technology, you're saying, that just trust that your unconscious mind will come up with this? Ross: No. No, I, let me, if I may. Once you understand the technology, then you understand that as long as you know how to say, and the other thing I think is interesting is, and then you'll be able to relate it to
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something else. If you understand the theme, if you really understand the theme and you're not just parroting, then you know how to, how to transition into something. If I'm talking about fantasies, right? What I will do is, here's how I think about things. I'll draw the word fantasy in a big circle and I'll draw arrows. I'll go, okay, what about fantasies is interesting to me? Okay? Well, they take on a life of their own. And what would be a description of that? So I'll write out the description. How do fantasies take on a life of their own? Where does that happen? What is that similar to that everyone's experienced? Well, everyone's heard of a song in their head and couldn't get it out. How can I use the fact that that's a universal experience? Well, I'll go, "Hey Debbie, for example, you know, I think fantasies are so interesting how they take on a life of their own. Like you ever have a song in your head and you can't get it out? The more you try, it's just there. Everywhere you go, everything you do, you hear that song? Well, it would be like then, if you're fantasizing about a person, you hear this person's voice right in that same place where the song plays over and over and over again.” Okay? But I am to generate that cause I asked myself okay, where does this happen? What's something similar to that that everyone's experienced that I can use to get her into that mindset? Okay?
there, you're going to go through every one of them, every one and decide what you're going to throw out now. (Girl in background talking) No I like it, it's not mean, it's just nice and commanding, the way I like it. Okay? You can either have a little tiny dainty dove or you can have a falcon. What? Audience: I have a question. Ross: Yes sir. Audience: Is there, do you guys recommend any patterns to run actually during getting a blowiob or by then is just ... Ross: Yeah, Audience: Laughter Ross: Yeah, it goes oohhh, uhhhh. Audience: Just checking. Ross: There are times when you don't really want to distract her. Audience: Applause and laughter. Audience: There is a time not to run a pattern. This is what I'm getting at. Ross: But, you want ... Audience: Frankly, I wouldn't be surprised if they were wanting to make her, like, you know ...
Audience: 'Men after that you move on to the next step?
Ross: You, you ...
Ross: I'll say, then I move on and go well, I'll think to myself, okay, what else about it, what else is there about fantasies? I'll draw this for you. Okay? This is really good. This is, this is solid gold stuff you guys are getting this morning. And it's just, I know it may be over some of your heads but we're going to go back until you get it. All night? So look. So, I'll say, I'll draw. This is what I do. I have charts on my floor. If anyone's been to my house and seen my closets I have stacks of charts where I've worked on these ideas and certain people who helped me so much, thank you, thank you, thank you. Clean up my place.
Girl: No wonder you guys talk so much Audience: I have a similar question. Ross: The outcome's about to come out. Yes. Audience: Laughter. Let's say you spent a period of time with someone, how many patterns, how long, Ross: They, what did I say? Formula, patterns are not rules, they're just examples, okay? You said something. You don't want to continue the patterns. Listen to me. You don't want to continue repeating what I've written for you but you want to learn to generate these kind of language for yourself. See, its not a just, its not about casting. There's a difference between being a sorcerer and someone who uses a spell. A sorcerer is someone who always thinks about this and lives it. Okay? You can be someone who temporarily says my spells and get, gets an outcome. But that's not as powerful as being someone who moves through the world thinking in this way. Yes, Brother Ryan.
Girl: That's the night position ... Ross & Audience: Laughter Girl: You guys be on your knees ... Ross & Audience: Laughter Ross: Thank you. They were everywhere. And she came in, and cause I have to move, she came in like a tornado, drill sergeant, organized everything. Now we're going to go through this part of the house, and go over there. Well, I have, no, you're going to sit
Ryan: I think about it like this. When you, when you
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make, when you seduce a woman, right, you're using patterns, you make a promise almost. You, you know, let her believe and you are this person and then if you stop talking that way, you no longer fulfilling your promise. So if you've been, as you move into, maybe not when you're actually getting _____ , but even as you move into that, you can continue to make the experience pleasurable. Even as you develop, if you develop a relationship, you know, you can still, you can still talk in these themes and in this way, or she's going to notice a difference and she's not going to appreciate it. I mean, you know, it's not a one shot deal. You want to keep reinforcing it, you want to keep delivering what you've promised.
Audience: Responses from audience
Ross: You want to become the kind of man who thinks about the world in a different way. Now,
Audience: Laughter. Responses from audience.
Ross: Would you stop steering them in the wrong direction honey? That's my best friend in the whole world back there. Right? Bunny. Audience: Laughter Ross: Why is that . 9 I don't know. She's got me hip-nick-otized. Okay. Fantasy. Audience: Laughter Girl: Really? Ross: She used girlnosis on you. She used girlnosis, _____
Ross: Okay. Did you say what I thought you just said?
here's the way to do that. Grab a book and when you see a theme in the book that interests you, underline it and begin to do this. So let's take, okay. So this is how I would do it. If you came to my house, you would see this. Of course, you'd see my charts are now chewed up and clawed.
Audience: Laughter Ross: I know, you ever take nitroglycerin and like kick it and throw lit matches at it? Audience: Laughter
Audience: Laughter
Ross: Don't go there.
Ross: _____ my best research is, is fodder for her to roll around on. Or I'll be drawing something, like I'll be showing Brother Coby something, some really important marketing point and she'll come and sit right down on the charts so we can't see it.
Audience: Laughter
Ross: She's your cat.
Ross: She looks small but her arms are really strong from doing all, look at the forearms. Go ahead, flex. Her forearms are strong. She said to me today, she said, you know, she said some women can only damage body parts but I can rip them off. I went, yeah, I know.
Girl: Hey, Ross?
Audience: Laughter
Ross: Yeah.
Girl: I didn't say that.
Girl: Reply
Ross: Well, along those lines. Fantasies. Okay. So lets go to fantasies. Okay. So I'll draw arrows. I like to draw arrows and circles. Okay? So I'll draw an arrow and I'll think to myself, okay, what about fantasies? Well, they take on ... Here's the question I ask. I'll write fantasies in a circle, and the big metaquestion I ask is what's interesting about fantasies to me? Okay? I'll just start thinking, well they take on a life their own. They take on a life of their own. Okay? Are you following my thinking? Not just writing but are following how I think about it? Okay. What's interesting about dwarfs? Well, lets see ...
Audience: Laughter
Ross: Yes, of course you may. Girl: If he's going do what he's point out, is that the difference between doing this for a little while to get an outcome and make me a part of your life? Ross: Right. Girl: And if you're going to do this, you really have to make it a part of your life in a way, the way you communicate all the time, not just when you're trying to get a chick in bed. And all that, all of the attitudes and everything become part of your life, which is much more effective.
Audience: You can throw them. Ross: You can throw them.
Ross: And that's really sexy, cause then your whole life is a wonderful, joyous event, so god dammit.
Audience: Laughter
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Ross: Okay.
Audience: Response
Audience: That's sounded . Laughter. They start small, responses from audience.
Ross: Okay. What else is interesting about fantasies? Well, I'll think how fantasies become more and more powerful the more you try to deny yourself. So, okay. How they become more and more powerful the more you deny them. And then I ask the same question, how does that happen? So the basic questions I ask are what is interesting to me about x? I write that down, then I say, how does happen and that gives me the description.
Ross: Yeah, I know. Okay? They take on ... Audience: Response from audience Ross: They're always sticking their nose in other people's business. Audience: Laughter Ross: Okay. Okay, listen. They take on a life of their own. Okay? Once I pick that topic, they take on life, the subtopic, how they take on a life of their own? I'll say to myself, how does that happen? How does that happen? Okay? And then that in turn gives me the description. So I'll write down, actually, the way I do this is I do it half asleep. I'm lying there in bed and I hear the words in my head, and then I begin to say the words out loud. And then I run and I write them down. So my process is I'm lying in like half a trance state, I'll hear the words in my head, I'll hear myself speaking the words, I'll speak them out loud, and then I go and I write them down.
Audience: What's my last _____ , bottom _____ . Ross: The description. Are you understanding this, sir? How I come up with it? Are you understanding the sequence? I say what's interesting to me about this. Then I ask, I write that down, whatever it is, then I say how does that happen. That gives me the description. And the description is the actual pattern language. This is what you're actually going to say to the chick. Okay? You get it? Audience: Yes Ross: I'm not hearing yes or no from you sir. Audience: Yeah, I'm wondering what's in the ...
Audience: You should keep a tablet in bed.
Ross: This one? Okay, this is the, I'll say, then the next question is, I'll say what else is interesting to me about this? Then I say, okay, how they become more and more powerful the more you try to deny them. And then I ask how does that happen, and then I give the description of how that happens. I'm not going to give you the wording. I want you to come up with your own. We're going to do an exercise after lunch. Using this formula, I'm going to give you a topic and you guys are going to come up with patterns. All right? I'm going to drill you really hard. I want you to be able to do this on your own? Yes? Good? Different? Great?
Major Mark: He keeps _____ by the bed. Ross: I, well, ... Audience: Do you getup? Ross: I get up and write them on a, on a, on my chart. Okay? Well, usually what I do is I'll go through it like three times. So I'll hear it in my head, repeat it out loud, hear it in my head again to see if I want to change it, repeat it out loud, and then run it through my head and if it sounds right I'll repeat it out loud and then I go and I write it down. Yes. Audience: Ross, you hear what in your head? The descriptions? Ross: The description.
Yates: This is the end of Side 8 of the Ross Jeffries Basic Speed Seduction Seminar
Audience: Okay. Ross: Okay. Now this happens real fast for me. It happens in the space of a second, but I'm giving you my, my, my algorithm, showing you my strategy so you know how do it yourself. Okay. Then I'll come up with a description. Once I've got the description, I'll say, what else is interesting to me about fantasies? You all right? Audience: Yeah, I'm fine. Ross: You want, jump in at any time, okay?
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three killer examples of powerful compelling fantasies and she goes, "Wow, that was great. Thank you. Gotta go.” You know. Cause that is your most likely outcome if you don't go to the call to action.
Tape 5 – Side 1 Yates: This is Side 9 of the Basic Speed Seduction Seminar by Ross Jeffries
Ross: Okay, the general, the overall structure is what is it about x, where x is the topic, is it y, where y is one choice where's she's going to jump you, or is it z, where z is the other choice where she's going to jump you right there and then? So, if you would go through the exact languaging again please, Major Mark?
Ross: Great? Language master. Time for a break? Major Mark: No wait. One other thing. Wait, wait, wait. Because when you, to my mind, my opinion, it's not enough to give a couple different descriptions. You have to include a call to action. Okay? And the best call to action is a double bind question. Okay? So for example,
Mark: What is it ... Ross: Isn't Major Mark awesome? Audience: Applause and cheers
Audience: Explain double bind question.
Ross: I'm _____ , do like ... Is it time?
Ross: Explain what it is.
Mark: What is it about, well, those fantasies, nonspecific, that is so compelling ...
Audience: double blind?
Ross: If you don't slow down a little bit. I know the speed at which they need to be spoon-fed. Okay? What is it about those fantasies that is so compelling ... Yes sir
Ross: Double bind. Major Mark: If I were to be given chance, I would, okay? Now, when we're talking about fantasies and we have two examples about how they take on a life of their own or what was the other one?
Audience: As far as either so compelling, or ... Mark: No. No.
Ross: They take on a life of their own and how they become more and more strong the more you try to deny them.
Ross: No. No. Mark: You want to set up a predicate. Okay? What is it about those fantasies, I'm being non-specific because I want her to pick one, okay? That is so compelling, that's the predicate, that you have to ask yourself
Major Mark: Oh, more and more strong. Okay. Ross: One more thing. I would do three descriptions. Major Mark: Right. Three. Okay. And then you ask a simple question. Say, it's all interesting isn't it. What is it about, well you know, those fantasies that are so compelling? It's like, you have to ask yourself is it that they draw you towards them with an irresistible desire or is that you are just compelled to move towards them out of something that's welling up within you? Okay?
Audience: Or one ask themselves. Mark: You ... Ross: No. Stop. This is disruptive. Let him continue. Go ahead Mark. Mark: Trust me. I actually know how to do this.
Ross: Oh, man. Laughter
Audience: Laughter.
Audience: Laughter
Mark: Okay. That is so compelling you have to ask yourself is it that it draws you forward with an irresistible impulse and attraction or you feel yourself propelled towards it
Ross: Let's do that, we need this word for word. This is something where they need to be spoon-fed. Look at the structure of what he does. I want to give you the structure and then we'll do it word for word. Yes sir, question.
Audience: I lost you on there Mark: Impulse or attraction or
Audience: by the time you fall for the double bind or whatever that they're already in a trance and they're not going to notice ...
Audience: Either or
Mark: Right. Well see, you don't want to give her
Audience: Response from audience
Mark: Yeah
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Mark: Well, you could. Or you could say one or the other. Or say something similar. As long as you don't weaken it. Or you find yourself propelled towards it as though riding an unstoppable urge from within?
languaging and all that beautiful, brilliant baroque beautiful piece of languaging, a gem, is this. Drawn and propelled. These two words are the key to that pattern. Yes?
Ross: Laugh
Mark: Yes.
Audience: Responses from audience
Ross: Okay? So I can zero in and go, okay, what's the key to what Mark's doing? Now I can spin my own pattern on this. I can go, "What's the difference between the things in life that draw us and the things that propel us?" And I can go into a completely new pattern. This is how I generate patterns cause I know what to listen for and to see what is the most important part.
Mark: Propelled Ross: Propelled towards it Mark: As though riding an unstoppable urge from within. Ross: Now listen, _____ . Unstoppable urge ... Audience: Response from audience. It's just that you lay them with a double binder so she doesn't have a choice but don't you also want to anchor it to you because she may take that choice and go do that with somebody else or ...
Audience: Would you go through that once more? Ross: Yeah. I can, I'll do it right now if you, you know, I'm not gonna, I'm too lazy. Mark: And besides. She will come across with a response. Okay. It may be verbal, it may be nonverbal, she is going to react to one of these choices. Okay? And, if she goes, "Oh, well, It just, I see it and it's so fascinating, I'm just drawn into it.” I'm going, hmmm, what can I do with this? Okay. She's just given me next five minutes of conversation. Or if she is like being non-verbal but highly oral, do you just stop there. Which is your point. You know, its
Ross: Well, its anchored to him because of his voice. But hang on, there's a point I want to make here. Hold your questions a minute. I'm going to ask, hold your questions just for a second. Cause there's some things more to teach. Please pay attention up here Phoenix. Okay? Understand, he's doing something else. He's giving her a, there's a, there's a certain aspect of motion here where he's saying you're either going to be, are you being drawn forward or are, are you, are you, are you, are you being pulled towards it or is there something pushing you towards it? It's sort of a propulsion system so in effect both are happening. She's both being drawn towards it and something inside her is pushing her towards it. So she's being, it's a push her pull, it's a push/pull. She's both being pulled forward and pushed from behind. So Mark is saying it's not enough in his mind that she be pulled towards him by urge. She also has to feel that there's something irresistibly pushing her at the same time so she's really moving forward.
Ross: All right. Now it's time for a break. Let's take 10 minutes. BREAK Mark: So, is this clear to people? Do you understand it? Audience: Yes. Ross: Okay. We understanding? My purpose here is not to get you think about fantasies per se, but to show you the overall structures to generate your own patterns. Now someone said to me, "This is all great. Here in the room I understand it. But what about when I'm home?" Well, then you're fucked, no ...
Mark: I'm lazy. Okay? This is a recurring theme in my work. I am really lazy. I don't want to have to care whether she has a moving towards strategy or moving away strategy. Okay? She can choose. I'm offering her a legitimate choice. They all lead to me, okay?
Audience: laughter Ross: When you g o home there's some things you can do. One of the things we can do now is we're going to do an exercise that Brother Coby told me to do. Which is we're going to pick a partner, and what you're going to do is you're going to take that partner and you're going to explain to them the structure of how to generate patterns. You're going to teach your partner what the specific steps are to generate a pattern. You're not going, now listen. I'm not saying go generate a pattern. I didn't say that. I said you're
Audience: Laughter Mark: She has a legitimate choice. Ross: The real distinction here, Mark is making a comparison. He's comparing being drawn with being propelled. This is the key to Mark's pattern. The key to the pattern that Mark just gave you in all that
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going to pick a partner and teach your partner what are the steps to generate a pattern. And then your partner's going to turn around and teach you. Okay? If you can teach someone else then you know you've got it. So here's what we're going to do. Pick a partner that you haven't worked with before. Those of you at home, if you have a friend you can discuss speed seduction with, you can do it with them or you can imagine someone and explain it into a tape recorder. All right? So what we're going to do is we're going to pick a partner, someone you have not worked with before, okay? And then what you're going to do is you're going to explain to them the structure of how you generate patterns. And I'm going to go over it real quickly. What you do is, you ask yourself the question, you pick a topic, and you say to yourself what is it about this topic that really interests me? Let's go back to that one. What's interesting about this topic to me? And then you write that topic and you write that thing down, whatever it is, and then you ask the question how does that happen and that generates the description.
dissuade you from being that because as long as you believe that that's the way you have to be, you're correct. The notion I want to present to you is that beliefs have a tremendous amount of power, that's there no difference in, and Major Mark will back me up on this, there's no distinction in terms of its power and its effect, between a belief that you hold deeply and a hypnotic suggestion that's given to you in deep trance that you suggest. They both work the same way and they have the same power. That's why you don't argue with people who have a belief. For example, if someone were sitting in this chair and I or Major Mark had them in deep trance and I gave them the suggestion that it was absolutely freezing cold in here, sub-zero temperature, and we would give them that post-hypnotic suggestion that wh enever they heard the word dingleberry they'd feel it freezing cold. They would feel it. And you'd say to them, "Why are you shivering like that? It's not cold in here.” You could try to argue with them and it wouldn't go anywhere. So the notion our society that once something happens to you, you're stuck with it is a %, cry powerful notion and it's a very destructive notion. I know a lot of you have had things happen to you in your past. I had a very bad past with females, okay? The thing is this, is your past isn't who you are and it's not what you deserve, it's just what happened. The minute you can really understand that, step into that, and lock into that, the minute you realize the past isn't who you are or what you deserve, it's just what happened, then you can let go of it. Okay? There's a story about, you know, the story about the monkey that was terrorizing the village. Very clever little monkey. This was a hyper intelligent monkey, a very mischievous monkey. He liked to do things like pee in the village soup right before they had a community dinner and, you know, he'd run around and one of the village leaders would be giving a talk and he'd throw his poop right in the face, and he was a very mean little monkey, you know? People would be about to be making love and he'd jump on their back and bite them. And they were all just beside themselves cause they could not catch this damn little monkey. So they got together the best hunters in the village and they said, "We're going to get this monkey.” So they laid a trap, a very clever trap. They dug a pit and they camouflaged it with leaves and they put the monkey's favorite foods, bananas and nuts and all this other stuff, and the monkey very cleverly was watching. So he swang from the vine, swung from a vine, grabbed all the food and got away. So they were beside themselves, they didn't know what to do with this monkey. He liked to go to the best looking women in the village and drop his little monkey ding in front of
Ross: That's the process, okay? So pick a partner. I don't want you taking more than 10 minutes to do this. Pick a partner, teach them and switch. The distinction that you need to get is between the content and the process. I wasn't asking you to spin a pattern about fantasies, I was asking you to explain the process of how you come up with a new pattern. That's what I was asking you to do. To get the distinction between process and content is a very important one. I wasn't asking you to generate a pattern on fantasy. I was saying what is the structure for generating a pattern? Okay? Very good. I want to talk a little bit, take a few minutes, I'm going to take, I'll take _____ from here for a while. You know, it's a, it's a funny thing that when people are locked in struggle that if you come along and give them a way to get out of struggle, they're so used to the struggle it feels uncomfortable to let go of it. That, you know, if you take a, an animal that's born in the wild but you get it as a cub and you stick it in a cage ... Well, I remember watching this show – this is not a pattern, this is true - where they raised bear cubs from captivity. They were in captivity as cubs and it came to release them and they didn't want to leave the cage, they wouldn't go. Cause the cage was what was familiar to them. So some of you here are, are, I know, have a I can't have that Ebin. Some of you here are familiar with an identity, an identity that says you have to lose, you have to have the pain of struggle, you have to be a victim, et cetera et cetera et cetera. I'm here to tell you, you're absolutely right. I'm not going to try to
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them, they were going bananas. What are they going to do with this monkey? Well, one day a wizard wanders into town and he notices the people are just beside themselves and he said, "What's going on?" They told the story about this monkey. He said, "Really? Show me where the monkey hangs out.” So they take the wizard to the village square and there's the monkey looking at the wizard thinking, "Oh, here's a new guy I can play with. What am I going to do with this guy?" The wizard said, "What's the monkey really like to eat?" They said, "He likes a certain kind of nuts.” He said, "Get me great big old handful.” So the wizard walks over to a tree with a hole in it, starts throwing the nuts down into the hole, cause he can't fit his hand into it, so he's pouring them in like that. And the guy said, " What are you doing? He's going to see them going into the tree. You're not going to trick him.” The wizard, "Don't worry about it.” So as soon as the wizard walks away the monkey comes swinging down, runs up to the hole in the tree, sticks in his hand and gets a great big huge fistful of these nuts and he can't pull his hand out. And the wizard said, "Excuse me, give me a machete.” The monkey sees the wizard coming with the machete. He says, "I'm not letting go of this fucking meal. This is mine.” The wizard's getting closer and closer and the monkey goes, "These are my nuts, dammit.” Well, that night they dined on monkey-head stew and the wizard got the best looking women in the village, and he began to teach classes -how to kill monkeys. The moral of the story is what you refuse to let go is what keeps you stuck. Now, you can continue to be raging and angry at all the women who ever fucked you over, but guess what? You're like, don't be writing here ...
congratulations. You can take it and you can keep it. Because the fact of the matter is a victim is someone who makes their oppressor very important. The victim in effect makes the oppressor their god. Because if you think of the god as the one thing that's the most present in your life, spiritually, emotionally and physically, well, in order to define yourself as a victim, you have to constantly keep the oppressor around. So congratulations, you're your own twisted kind of Satan worshipper if that's the way you want to think. Cause you make the person in your life who hurt you the most the person who's most present. Sounds pretty twisted to me. But we live in a society where we're taught to think that way, where you're given rewards for being a victim. I'll give you a story. This is a story that's absolutely true. Who saw the movie BORN ON THE FOURTH OF JULY? I met that little prick. Yeah, I met him back when I was a UCLA student in the late, early 80s. And he was in some rally just, there was some rally, I forget what the nature was, exactly what it was about, it was when the hostages were taken in Iran. I'm showing you how old I am. And the Young Republicans were there and the Communists were up there making speeches and then Ron Covick wheels up in his wheelchair. And he's saying the exact same things that the speaker before was getting heckled for. When the speaker before, who could walk, was saying the same things, people were screaming at him. But Ron Covick comes up and saying the exact same bullshit and no one's saying a word. And I walked up to him and I said, "You are a fucking bully.” I said, "The fact that you're in that wheelchair doesn't mean that what you're saying is true and you're relying on the fact that we're taught not to challenge people who have a handicap, and I think you're a fucking bully and you should be ashamed of your fucking self.” Then I walked away. See, there's an advantage to being the victim. If you're a victim, then people can't confront you, people can't tell you to shut the fuck up and sit down. People can't tell you pull your head out of your ass. Okay? So, if you want to think of yourself in that way, "Women were mean to me, ahhh, I'm too fat, or whatever" go ahead. Cause guess what? I don't give a shit. It's not that I don't have compassion that you went through pain, but what I'm trying to say to you is the way you're thinking about it is keeping you stuck. Now, there are organizations in this society that teach us to think that way. Step programs. I don't think too highly of Step programs cause Step programs teach you that this is who you are and you can never be healed from it.
Audience: Laughter Ross: Guess what? If that's what you want to do, you walk around with your hand stuck inside a tree stump and you won't go anywhere and someone's going to cut your head off sooner or later. It's totally up to you. Now unfortunately we live in a society where there are certain belief patterns that people are taught to take on. Now, I understand that sometimes horrible things happen to people. People go through terrible things, you know, the Holocaust. I have relatives who are Holocaust survivors and some of them, totally bent by it. Totally bent by it. Others, well, that happened to me, that was then, this is now, I'm going to have a ferocious determination to live a good life no matter what happened to me. Because if you don't, guess what happens? You make the people who hurt you continue to be present and in control of your life, even if they're long dead. So if that's what you want to do, if you want to walk around being a victim,
Audience: I'm a recovering alcoholic.
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Ross: Right. That means that's who you always will be and you will never be healed of it. It is who you are, it's inherent in your soul and you will always be that way. Okay?
is this, is part of being good with these skills is the ability to recognize what response you're getting. Okay? If you walk up to a woman and you say to her, "You know, I have this intuition that when you really feel a connection with someone, " and she's going, okay, that means she's not down with it and you have to back off and do something else. So, on the one hand, Pelone has something that I want you all to get, which is lie's fearless. You charge forward, yes?
Audience: Now, you can be a recovered alcoholic. Ross: Ahhh, good. There's a distinction between the two. Audience: Response from audience.
Pelone: Definitely.
Ross: That's, there's a distinction between the two and an important one.
Ross: Now, I'm Curious about something. When you see a woman that you want to meet, what goes through your head that allows you to just go charging forward? Do you say something to yourself? Do you do something with her image? What do you do just before you charge forward?
Audience: But aren't you still defining yourself as an alcoholic if you say you're a recovered alcoholic? Ross: Whether it's an alcoholic, a fartoholic or anything else, my point in this room is this. That whatever happened to you in your life, if you want to hang on to it all it does is it keeps you there like the monkey and the tree. Okay. Now later on in the weekend I will present some processes to you that you can choose to participate in or not. I don't care. If you choose to participate in them, I can show you how to let go of all that. So you don't have to think about yourself that way anymore. If you don't want to and you want to hang on to your victimhood, have a party. Just don't wave it in my face cause I don't care. Okay? Get it? Now, let's move on to something more constructive, but it has to be said. Now, one of the things I want to talk about is flexibility. Okay? Cause flexibility is extremely important. Now, Brother Pelone, will you come up here a minute?
Pelone: I see her and I say, "Oh, an opportunity.” Ross: Oh, an opportunity. Pelone: An opportunity to give someone my special gift. Ross: Ahhh. Now, that's something very interesting. An opportunity to give someone my special gift. Now, the concept I want to present to you is the gift you want to give the person may not be the gift that they're, at the moment, open to accepting. That, it's okay to finally give them your special gift, but you want to start out with the gift that they're able to accept. And that requires that you take a second step, which is, before you go charging, to look at the person, to open you intuition, and I'll show you how to do that, and go, hmmm, who is that person and what are they telling about themselves? And to allow that to guide what your next step is going to be. Now, some of you who are, who used to be so into hesitation need to take on his strategy. But for someone like this who's fearless in the first place, you need to add in an intuition step first.
Pelone: Sure. Ross: This is my friend and also _____ brother, Brother Pelone. Brother Pelone, sit down. Audience: Applause Ross: Now, I'm extremely fond of Brother Pelone because first of all, he's extremely sincere. He's a really good guy. He really wants to learn, he's very open-minded and Brother Pelone is absolutely fearless. Brother Pelone
Pelone: That's correct. Ross: Okay. He's a marine, he's not afraid, right? I mean they charge you, they, don't they teach you ...
Audience: Absolutely.
Pelone: I was brainwashed.
Ross: Absolutely. Brother Pelone sees women, it's charge, assault that beach. Okay? Now here's the thing though. Here's the thing that, I, I, I, I want to give you some gifts. I want to add in some things for you because you're, you're a good loyal Student, yes9
Ross: Ha, ha. He was in a ... Pelone: It's the truth. He's a recovering marine. Audience: Responses from audience.
Pelone: Yes.
Ross: He's a recovering marine. Well, what did they brainwash you to go ...
Ross: That's right. And he's also sort of like my bodyguard, so, it's good to have him here. The thing
Audience: Laughter
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Ross: What did they, what did they brainwash you to believe?
to yourself, "Okay, granted that she's feeling a little bitchy or she's a little cold, put her on.” Then to the extent you see someone who's really closed, (noise in background), oh, my agent.
Pelone: They brainwashed me to believe that when I hear an order I respond without hesitation.
?: Yes? I'm _____
Ross: But, no one's giving you an order when you're there seeing an h. b. , so what do you ...
Ross: Out to smoke, tell a dirty joke, and whistling is prohibited. Anyone know that song?
Pelone: I give myself the order.
Audience: No.
Ross: You give yourself the order. Okay. Now listen to me. There's a difference between responding to an internal order and being drawn forward by something that you're perceiving and connecting with.
Ross: No one's allowed to tell a dirty joke, when Groucho was appointed head of a country, Chris you should know this, you're a comedy writer. Do you know that movie? Duck Soup?
Pelone: Okay.
Chris: Yeah.
Ross: Okay? I want you to sit a minute and think about that distinction. There's a distinction between being, charging forward based on an order you give yourself and being drawn forward by someone you're perceiving and what you perceive that person to be. Because one allows a connection to happen first before you take action. The other is totally generated by yourself That can work for you, it will get you going quicker the way you're doing things, but it may get you going in situations where the person is just totally closed off to any communication, Not because they have anything against you, it's just who they, in the moment, they can be in that mood. And even if someone is in that mood, okay, if you look at a woman and your intuition tells you she's closed off right now, that doesn't mean you don't approach. It means you approach differently. So, let's say you're reading, there's a woman in front of you ...
Ross: If any form is pleasure is exhibited report to me and it will be prohibited. I'll put my foot down, so shall it be. Okay? Audience: Question from audience Ross: Yes, and by the way, if you really want to build a sense of humor, rent, go out and buy all the Jerky Boy CDs. Audience: Response from audience Ross: And before you out _____ , listen to them. Yes, Brother _____ . Audience: Do you have, do know of any resources, books or anything about that, about how to develop Ross: I don't think books are the best way to develop a sense of ...
Pelone: Okay
Audience: smiling ...
Ross: You go a little intuitive. I'm going to show you guys how to do this, okay? And your intuition says, "Okay, she's open, happy, ready to meet people.” Then it's okay to go up. What's your standard meeting, greeting when you go up to talk a woman? Like at that bar, the Friday's yesterday, what did you say to her?
Ross: No Audience, _____ Ross: No Audience: _____ Ross: No. Go and get Jerky Boy CDs, the Jerky Boys, what's up there fruitcake? And you also want to rent some Marx Brothers movies. You gotta rent Duck Soup, where Groucho becomes the head of a country. And he's like the most corrupt politician that could possibly be. The country's taxes must be fixed and I know what to do with it. You think this country's bad off now just wait till I get through with it. Da da da ...
Pelone: I just walked up and said hello. Ross: Just hello. Pelone: Hello and I introduced myself and I asked her where's a good place to go hang out and have fun. I'm from out of town. Ross: Good. Okay. Cool. Okay. Great. Okay. What if there's, you could insert a step where you look at the woman, you go into this intuitive state and you sort of reach out and feel her with your hand and go, "Hmmm, what's her energy like?" And then you say
Audience: Laughter Ross: He's just boldly proclaiming bow he's destroy the entire country and you know screw everybody.
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Audience: _____ to that, a particular movie is that it still, we still have those guys in society, the guy
?: I'm on Air Force One with Bon's Yeltsin actually getting a woman
Ross: Well, what are you talking about? No we don't. Monica, pick up. Hello.
Ross &Audience: Laughter ?: He never stops before ...
Audience: Laughter. Yes we do.
Ross & Audience: Laughter
Ross: No we don't. Monica.
Ross: You know, the other day I had, oh, never mind. We're not going to go there. Okay. Very good, very funny. Wow, you do better voices than the Rolling Stone reporter did. Okay?
Audience: I swear Ross. Ross: I'll slur, do his voice, you do it well, do it. Audience: We do not have those type of people in this country.
Audience: Laughter
Ross: Say, he's doing endorsement for me. Hi, this is Bill Clinton and
Ross: I want to talk a little bit about sub-modalities. There's a big mystery about sub-modalities and what they are and all this other stuff. It's very simple. The notion I want to present to you and look up here, you can write later. This is in your notes so you can write later. The notion I want to present to you is this. The notion I want to present to you is that people don't just have thoughts. The thoughts that people have subjectively have locations. Just as an example, this is not, now please, this is only an example, it is not a rule. For the most part, when people visualize something, they tend to think about the things that are really important to them, real big right in the center. If something is less important they tend to picture it down here in a comer. Okay? Generally speaking this is only an example, it is not a rule, okay? Generally speaking as something becomes less important to them it gets smaller and further away. Do you understand? So they think of someone who's really important, as that person becomes less important the picture gets further away and smaller. Does that make sense?
Audience: This is Bill Clinton-, Ross: Had I had speed seduction I wouldn't have had to do that intern. ?: That was one of Ross' first students that I have to say. Ross & Audience: Laughter ?: His latest class has been such a help to me, Ross & Audience: Laughter ?: I could have a group of interns walking by my office and have one of them on their knees and sucking my dick in minutes. Ross & Audience: Laughter Ross: Thank you Bill. Audience: Laughter Ross: Say hello to the president.
Audience: Yes
Audience: Response from audience
Audience: Laughter
Ross: Okay. These are just general ideas, I'm not saying everyone is this way. Some people are different, okay? Now, this is also useful for you in building a powerful self-image. So let me show you how we do this. We're going to do a little exercise. This requires you to take all notes and all writing instruments, for the moment, and put them on the floor. Just for the moment. Just for the moment. And this is a participatory exercise, it's not about intellectual understanding so you have to do the exercise to get the benefit. Okay? Fair enough?
Ross: "I used his stuff and wow, he sort of ...”
Audience: Yes.
Audience: Responses from audience, yeah, yeah there you go.
Ross: All right. So, remember I talked to you yesterday about picture in a picture?
Ross: What?
Audience: yes
Ross: That's very good. Okay. ?: _____ that's not an impeachable offense. Ross: Not impeachable. Audience: Laughter Ross: That's really cool. We should have, you know what? After hours, we should have his voice "You have reached Bill representing Ross Jeffries.”
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Ross: That sort of thing? Okay? We're going to do some things sort of like that. By the way, who's the person who before he came in yesterday had trouble visualizing? How are you doing, bow are you doing with that now?
I'm not Catholic any more.” Audience: Laughter Ross: Wooo. So cool. Audience: laughter
Audience: Response from audience
Ross: Now please, if you're Catholic, I'm not, you know, Ave Maria, I'm not knocking you or anything. I'm just talking about the fact that, that if you tell people to do things with their pictures, they do it. I, in fact, I've even asked, I reached out and grabbed her hand and said, "Now move them the other way.” Okay? Another girl. I said, well she told me that she was having trouble concentrating. I could tell the trouble was she, her pictures were going by too fast. I said, "You know that knob that controls the speed at which your pictures go by?" And she, and I, and I, I showed her what I wanted to do. I said, "If you were to reach out and grab hold of it, where is it?" She reached out and grabbed hold of it. I said, "Now what direction do you turn it to slow those down?" And she went like this. I don't say "can you see the knob, " I said, "you know that knob.” And they just go right on with you, oh yeah, sure.
Ross: Ha, ha, ha. Good. Audience: Laughter Ross: Part of visualizing, part of visualizing is knowing when to turn it off. So, if you were to reach up, watch this, if you were to reach up to that dial that controls the brightness of an image, I don't know what side is that dial on? Audience: Response from audience Ross: And reach up, put your hands on it, what direction do you turn it to turn the brightness down? That's right. Turn the brightness all the way down. Now, can you see it? That's right. Now turn the brightness up. Audience: Response from audience Ross: Isn't that weird? It's on my nose? Ahhhhh.
Audience: Laughter
Audience: Laughter
Ross: It's that simple. Now, you, you guys don't believe me yet, but you'll, you try this and they'll go, "oh, yeah, sure.” It's that simple. Okay, so look. So I want you to, close your eyes. Now some people visualize better with their eyes open, by the way, whatever you want to do. But I, let's just for this purpose you close your eyes, okay? What I want you to do is see that great big movie screen in your mind. If you don't see the screen, imagine a frame or imagine you can see a screen. I want you to stop and think do you believe the sun is going to come up tomorrow? As you believe the sun is going to come up tomorrow, as you make an image of the sun coming up tomorrow, you believe this. Say, "Yes, the sun will come up tomorrow.” I want you to take your finger, literally take your finger and point to where on the screen you see that image. And with your hands, I want you to take your hands and draw a frame around the side of that picture. Okay? Now, I'm learning a lot from watching people. I'm going to fuck someone up good.
Ross: That's pretty easy. Learn to play with your own dials. By the way, I say this to chicks. I say, "You know that dial that controls the speed at which pictures are, " here's the story. True story. This was years ago, early in my career. I was sitting at a party trying to seduce this woman and she said, "Well, you know, I'm pretty uptight about, about these things. I'm Catholic and I suffer from obsession.” I said, I said, "No, you mean, you mean, depression.” And she said, "No, obsession. I have all these thoughts running around in my head.” And so I grabbed her arm, I said, "Start taking those pictures that you're seeing ...” She's describing what her pictures were doing, she had pictures running around like this. I said, "Take those pictures you're seeing and start doing them in the opposite direction.” So she did. And I said (sneezes), excuse me, nothing to sneeze at here. I said, they were spinning in the opposite direction, I said, "Slow them down. Now take them and move them out in front of you like an accordion and look at all of them. I want you to reach out and to do look at each one and if it's something you believe, Is the put it back up there. If it's not something that you really want to have in your life, throw it down at your feet.” So she went into trance and she was doing this for 15 minutes. And I was going, "No, stay away from her.” She came out and she said, "Oh my god.
Audience: laughter Ross: I'm going to have a victim coming up that I'm going to play with. Okay. That's a nice star sapphire, by the way. It's a beautiful ring. Okay. Now I want you to remember this. What I want you to do is I want you to imagine you got some liquid paper. You know
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what white-out is, liquid paper? That's what blondes use when they're on your computer screen and they make a mistake?
hot dogs but now you can't stand them. Okay? Everyone's had that experience of liking a certain food when they kids, but now they won't go near it. I used to not to like to drink wine but now I'm learning to enjoy . That's weird. Okay? You got that? Point to where you see it, And notice the difference between the location and the size. Put a frame around the size of it. Okay, this is simple. Okay. Now what I want you to do is white that one out. You got it? We're going to call that "uh uh.” Okay, point at it and go uh uh.
Audience: Laughter Ross: Okay? I want you to take some liquid paper and literally, with your hand, imagine you're whiting out that image of the sun coming up with that liquid paper. Take your hand ... It's important that you wire it in with your physiology. Are you having a challenge with this? That's right. Okay? Just white it out. There you go. What?
Audience: Uh uh. Ross: All right. Good. Now we're going to do something. Okay? Point again to the uh huh space.
Audience: I have a problem with getting images that are clear but they, they flee as soon as I concentrate
Audience: Uh huh
Ross: Slow them down.
Ross: Uh huh
Audience: They go away.
Audience: Uh huh
Ross: Well, reach out in your hand for the control knob that stops them. Close your eyes, see an image. Where's the knob of the control that makes images stay? Here's what you do. Attach a rubber band to the comers of the image, so the more it tries to pull away, the more it snaps right back right in front of you.
Ross: And notice what it's like as an image of you really understanding all the speed seduction attitudes goes right into that place. I want you to point to that, that, that place, seeing that image of you, the new you. This is the you who understands that being with you is the best possible thing that could happen to a woman. If you're not pointing to the space, you're not doing the exercise.
BREAK IN TAPE Ross: We're going to call this your "uh huh box.”
Audience: Which
Ready? Ross & Audience: Uh huh.
Ross: The uh huh. Yeah.
Ross: And that's the place where you think about the things you absolutely expect are going to happen. Uh huh.
Ross & Audience: Uh, huh Ross: Close your eyes and point to the uh huh space. Close your eyes and point to the uh huh space.
Audience: Uh huh
Audience: I'm confused.
Ross: Notice what it's like is an image of you buying more and more of my products sneaks itself ... no.
Ross: Okay, I know you are. You know that space in your mind where you think about where the sun's going to come up? Yeah, close your eyes and point to that. I want you to see the image of the you who really understands the speed seduction attitudes and not just understands them, but lives and breathe them. This is the you who believes, who knows that being with you is the best possible thing that could happen to a woman. This is the you who has the attitude that always call a woman on her bullshit. This is the you who gives a woman just a little bit of what she wants and then pulls away and makes her work for more. Is there a reason you're not doing the pointing? You need to point. If you don't point, it's not wired in to your neurology. Point. Do it. Okay? This is you who always demonstrates that willingness to walk away. This is the you who never supplicates only structures opportunities and offers challenges.
Audience: Laughter Ross: Just kidding, Just kidding. I'm not going to do it. Okay. Now, put your hands down. Now we're going to pick another place. I want you to think about something that used to be true about you b ut no longer is. Like, for example, in my case, I used to be six feet tall, 125 pounds. Okay? I used to be rail, stick skinny. So think about something about yourself that used to be true but no longer it is, no longer is. I know a person that used to be u ltra religious and now they're a free thinker or whatever you want to call it. So, something like that. Pick something that doesn't have a lot of, that's mild. Think about something that used to be true that no longer is and notice where you see that image. Notice where on the movie screen you see that. It could be anything. Maybe you used to like
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Okay? Why don't you just take a deep breath, and then through your lips blow the breath out into that image and see the breath going out golden. And fill that image up with a gold color. Take another deep breath and do it again. Now what I want you to do is with both hands, with both hands, reach out for that image, grab a hold of it and pull it down on top of yourself. And now, keeping your eyes closed and hanging on to that feeling, I want to tell you a story. It's a story about something that happened to me one morning just before I woke up during our Bahama Seminar. Now the Bahama Seminar was a wonderful experience for me cause it was 7 days on being, of being on intuition autopilot. And I had a dream that morning that I shared with the class. And the dream was I was standing in a garden looking at a painter and a sculptor. And they were talking about how they do their respective things. And the painter said to the sculptor, "How in the world do you take that block of rock, cause you were standing in front of huge block of stone, and carve something out of it?" And the sculptor says, "I don't.” He said, "The statue is already alive inside the rock waiting to come out. All I do is chip away at what doesn't belong and chisel and refine what's already there.” So, if you were, begin to understand that it's not that you become a speed seducer, rock by rock, the way they build a pyramid but instead you already are that and now all you have to do is take the tools we're giving you today, today, yesterday, today, tomo rrow and throughout the rest of your life and chip away what doesn't belong, eliminate what no longer fits, and chisel and refine what's already there. So that each time you use these tools, consciously or unconsciously, you're continuing to refine the person that you're becoming. Because I used to believe that you build the future one step at a time. But I no longer believe that. I've come to believe that the future is like an infinite number of railroad tracks. There are infinite number of possible definite destination. And what happens is what you believe is possible for yourself, what you believe you deserve at the deepest levels, determines which future you're going to experience. And then that future reaches back through time and shapes you and molds you into being the kind of person who's ready for it the day you meet it. So tonight when you sleep and dream and you dream the dreams of the sculptor instead of the dreams of the pyramid builder, by the way, can you imagine hiring Jews to do manual labor? The Pharaoh should have had them keeping his books instead of out there, you know, toting bricks.
Ross: It's bad management strategy. Tonight as you sleep and dream, tonight as you sleep and dream, tonight as you sleep and dream, I don't know if you'll see that image of the statue gradually emerging from the stone. But what I want you to do is open your eyes, look up here, stretch yourselves. Stand up, do a little toney thing, like aaahhhhhh. Audience: Aaaahhhhhhh Ross: _____ , stretch yourself Audience: Just as long as you Ross: No, no, no, no, no one touches each other in my seminar. Audience: Laughter Ross: Sit down, please. Audience: Pee break. Ross: You need a pee break? Does someone need a pee break? BREAK IN TAPE Ross: Mark likes to hammer on it. I think it's very important. I know some of you are, "Ross, where do I start?" Okay? How do I know which pattern to use under which circumstances? And rather than just throw you to the wolves and go just try it, I want to give you some clues as to how to do that. I think that only fair and part of my obligation as a teacher. Okay? Yes? Audience: Yes Ross: You don't want to know? Let me see, before I do that, there's some people I need to pick on. You're all right. I was going to pick on you for something, but, yeah, come up here. I'm going to pick on you. Go ahead and tape this, We may decide to cut it out later, but go ahead and tape it as a record of my work. Sit down here. And I'm going to pick on you. Yeah, you. You, don't look away, yeah, you. Audience: Laughter Ross: That doesn't work. I like picking on people cause I'm a hostile son of a bitch. I figure, since I'm going to be hostile, I may as well channel it in the right direction and use it to attack people's problems. I think that's, of course, sometimes people don't want me to bring up the fact that they have problems and then we get into it, but ... We're going to pick on you guys a little bit. Now, one of the things I want to teach you how to do, and then we'll keep, we can record this for my own purposes but I don't want it on the course. I want to teach you guys how to do some
Audience: Laughter
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perceiving. Another way to open up you intuition is to look at things peripherally. So take a glance at the person straight on and then look away and look peripherally to see what's out of the comer of your and tell, and see what that tells you. Okay? Now, look at me Just for a second. Hmmm, let me ask you a question. I'm just curious. What's up with, are you, when you look at yourself in the mirror, are you aware that your eyes are like ... What's, I want you to imagine something for me. Close your eyes a minute and imagine something that would put you in stark raving terror and then show me the expression you have with your eyes. Audience: About the same Ross: About the same. Okay. Alright. So, I have some intuitions about him. Mark: Here's a clue. Audience: Laughter Ross: There's a clue. Okay. Alright. I'm going to have some fun with him. We're going to fuck with him. Then play around with him and see how he's structured in his head. I don't know why I'm doing this, but for some intuition ...
Yates: This is the end of Side 9 of the Ross Jeffries Speed Seduction Seminar
(JME – Checked)
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floor, I don't want you to drop
Tape 5 – Side 2
through any faster than you can allow all unpleasant feelings associated with it to detach. So as the picture goes through the floor the feelings go flying away into space. Can you do that? All right. Now, look at me for a minute. We're going to do something real fast. You ever see a toaster? You ever see a toaster that has too strong a spring so that when the toast is ready is goes, fffft. You ever do that with a piece of toast as a kid? When I was a kid we didn't have toys, I played with the toaster, the vacuum cleaner. ”Hey Mom, watch. It's a toast launching contest.” Fffft, fffft, up goes the toast
Yates: Welcome to Side 10 of the Ross Jeffries Basic Speed Seduction Seminar
Ross: Was it the further away something gets the smaller it becomes, subjectively speaking? I want, why don't you just close your eyes. I want you to imagine a very pleasant scene, okay? What I want you to do is as you push it away from you make it bigger. So push it across and make it bigger so the further away it gets the bigger it becomes.
Mom's hand. It's time to hit me in the face just as the toast hits the carpet.
Audience: That's hard to do. Ross: I know. Do it. Close your eyes and do it. Okay. Now I want you to reverse it. Take something that's big across the room, close your eyes, pull it towards you but make it smaller, so the closer it gets to you the smaller it is. Now push it away and make it bigger. That's very uncomfortable isn't it? Disorienting?
Audience: Laughter
Audience: Yeah
Ross: Okay? You know how that works?
Ross: Okay. Now open your eyes. Okay. Whoa, whoa leave me a little bit. Okay. Now here's what I want you to do. I want you to see an image of something. Close your eyes. Pick something mildly unpleasant, I mean mildly. I mean really mild like maybe you didn't even stub your toe, you grazed it. Okay? I want you to see an image of that and what I want you to do is push it away from you and the further away it gets the smaller it gets, till it collapses to a dot across the room, and hold it there. And now that it's all the way out there, what I want you to do is, you ever see the, keep your eyes closed, you ever see Mr. Fantastic from the Fantastic Four? He was the guy who could stretch, you know, they had that rocky guy, and a human torch, the invisible woman. Then they had the guy who could stretch his arm ...
Audience: Uh hmmm.
Ross: The woman had reflexes that Sugar Ray Leonard and Muhammad All would've ... So, you know how that happens? Something goes fffft. Audience: Uh hmmm.
Ross: It just pops up. So, close your eyes. So, let's do this thing again where you take a mildly unpleasant thing, you push it away. Just touch a little bit of it, drop it through the floor only as fast as the feelings go flying off into space. Okay? Do it again, one more time. Do it real fast. Okay, good. Now, close your eyes. Now I don't know, I'm guessing here, I'm _____ , it may not be a fact at all. It may not be. But you know if you would imagine a toaster, but inside that toaster, rather the toaster's an image, there's an image on the unconscious level you can been sort of suppressing. But when I do this, it's going to pop up, you'll see what it was that caused that kind of stark-raving terror and then immediately you'll do this with it. You know what that means, that you're supposed to do with it?
Audience: Oh, Plastic Man. Ross: Well, he's the Marvel Comics equivalent of Plastic Man, sure. What I want you to do is now that you see that unpleasant thing across the room like maybe the size of a postage stamp, extend your Mr. Fantastic arm, you can hear the sound, rrrrrrrr, and just put the tip of your finger into it to get just a little bit of what the in that experience was. Okay? Now pull your hand back but leave the feeling there. Okay? All right. Now. Good. Now what I want you, look at the image again the size of a postage stamp; drop it through the floor. And as you drop it through the
Audience: Push it away. Ross: Okay. And drop it and do the rest of it, okay? So, I want you to, you take your, this hand, push down on the toaster handle, so when I touch you here the image is going to pop up. You understand? Fffft, sssss. Audience: I didn't get an image. Ross: Okay. That's okay. There may not be anything there. I'm just guessing. I could be absolutely wrong. I've been wrong before. No problem. Okay. That may
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be just the way your eyes look. It could be you; it could be you have a thyroid condition?
work. Okay. So what would it be like if every part of your life you were able to see that same sense of possibility in that same place, same size, same location? What would have to happen on the inside in order for you to do that, such that when I said to you, "Think about the possibility of really having all these skills, notice what it's like as an image of that sneaks right into that place, here, and locks itself ...” What's the sound of the Tupperware lid locking down? Okay? Now, how does that feel?
Audience: No Ross: No? It's just your eyes. Audience: No, not that I know of. Ross: It's just your eyes. Yeah? Could be, I don't know. I'm just playing with him, I'm not always right. I test an intuition and it doesn't work then I throw it away. All right. Go sit down. I don't have any problem with that.
Audience: Bigger Ross: Bigger. Yeah. Uh, hmmm. Now you might think to yourself, "But what if it goes back?" You might think that. You might think you might think that. But notice the more it tries to go back, it's like there's elastic attached to the back of it so it just comes right back, and stays in that big place. Now, I don't want this to take place any faster than you take any experiences in your past that might have interfered or interrupted or contradicted this and toss them into the trash. You know, like when, you have a Mac or an IBM? You have a computer?
Audience: Thank you. Applause Ross: Although some of you may have unconscious minds that have unpleasant images that may find yourself when you sleep tonight doing identical process. Cause whether it works with John or not, someone in the room can borrow it and use it. Okay? Now, we're going to deal with you. Audience: Laughter Ross: He's going, "When is he going to get to me?" I have a sense, I'm not sure about this. I may be wrong again. I want you to stop and think about something you know is going to happen, something you truly expect is going to happen. Close your eyes. Point to your uh huh space, where's your uh huh space? Uh huh, ah right. And I want you to draw a picture around the size of that.
Audience: No. Ross: Oh, okay. You have trash in your house? Audience: Uh, hmmm. Ross: You have a trash compactor? Audience: No. Ross: You ever see one?
Audience: Around the size of it?
Audience: Yes
Ross: Yeah, the size of the uh huh space. Wow, what a huge sense of possibility you have in life. He's spent a lot of the time being very motivated and charging forward?
Ross: Imagine you have one in your mind. And all those limiting beliefs, all the things your folks or your family might have told you, all the snippets of bullshit you picked up go right into that trash compactor. And you don't push the button, you kick it with your foot. Kick it with your foot, kick the on button. Compact it into a little tiny pellet, drop it into a fiery pit, that leads straight into the mind of someone you really don't like. So all those limits go into their brain, from the base of their spine, travel up their spine and explode in their brain, and you give them your limits. In fact, for those of you who have been really hurt in your life, what if you took all the crap in your life, all of it, all the bad beliefs, all the self-hatred and you compacted it into a cube and, since you can't get rid of it, since your belief is it must be there, send it into the person you hate the most. See it going right from the base of their spine, up into their brain, expanding, taking on three dimension powerful life. So, good, give your crap to somebody else.
Audience: No. Ross: No. Hmmm. So, would it be safe to say you have a, your sense of what's possible for you in your life is sort of limited? Audience: Ah, in some ways, yeah. Ross: Yeah, in some ways. Ah, what does that imply? Audience: Responses from audience. Ross: Yeah. So, let's find a resource here. Rather than look at the problem, let's find the resource. Well, I want you to think of a place in your life where you don't have a problem. Where your sense of possibility in life is not limited. Okay? As you think about something that's possible in that part of your life, point to where you see that image. Now, there you go. Okay. That, you drew a frame around it but that'll
Audience: Response from audience
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Ross: Huh?
Brother Orion: That could take an hour.
Audience: You, too, can be an S. O. B.
Ross: Can you teach for an hour?
Ross: That’s right. Why not? And why not be an S. O. B. to someone who really deserves it?
Brother Orion: You bet I can. Ross: All right. I want you to do it ...
Audience: Response from audience
Brother Orion: But I'm going to tell you, I'm going to focus mainly, like you said, on, on openings and closings.
Ross: You can be their misery factory. Instead of being your own misery factory, pass the favor on. Rather than having to do all the crappy things to someone, just put your own crap in their head. Save yourself time. All right. Open your eyes. Now, I want you to think about the possibility of really having mastery of these skills, say two to three months down the line. As you, as you look at that, point to where you see it. Point to where you see it.
Ross: Openings and closings. Brother Orion: Yeah. Ross: So you know, and then I'm going to come back and I want to talk about, someone throw me a, what did we, did I misplace all those things already? Mark: Markers?
Audience: Point to where I think it is?
Ross: Marker. I want to talk about context. What context to use which patterns in. Context, so, let's say you've already met her. Just meeting, in person, _____ , would that be useful?
Ross: Yeah. And draw an image, draw a frame around the size of it. That's pretty good. Oh, yeah, you're right. Okay. My intuition just spoke to me. Okay, go have a seat. Now, we're going to do something else, one more exercise. Again we should keep this off the, the tapes because ...
Audience: Yeah. Brother Orion: You bet.
BREAK IN TAPE
Ross: So we, so we could lay out to you which, what to do with each context? Yes?
Ross: Brother _____ or Brother Orion, which do you prefer?
Audience: Yes
Audience: Brother Orion.
Ross: Let me give you my mike. No, take this one so your hands free. Now, Brother Orion is quite an interesting guy. When did you come to the first seminar in Cancun this last year or Chicago?
Ross: But, I want you now to give, now here's what I want Brother Orion to talk. He has a different style of doing this, he's taken speed seduction and adapted it in the field to his own unique personality, his own unique needs, want he wants, what he likes, so I want you to talk _____ about what happened as soon as you left that seminar. And then, _____ let's give a big hand for Brother Orion.
Brother Orion: One year ago. That's right.
Audience: Applause
Ross: Right?
Brother Orion: Thank you. Alright. Alright. Well, I want, I want to let you know, a few of you guys were there, right after the seminar about a year ago, when we went across the street, you remember Yates, to the TGIF and there was that cute girl sitting at the end bar? We're all thinking about going over and talking to her? I just jumped right into it. You know, a lot of the lines I first thought were corny, you start to say them and you get these great responses. And I, you know, it's sort of like marketing. If you've got a marketing letter that works, you know, why are you going to change it? Why are you going to try, you know, besides tweaking it a little bit, why are you going to try throw it out and throw something new in? If it works, I'll use it a hundred times. No problem. You
Ross: Brother Orion, come up. Let me mike you. Audience: Response from audience
Brother Orion: That's right. You want me to tell you what happened after that seminar? That two days afterward? Ross: Yeah, here's what I want you to talk about. Talk about your initial, talk about that ... Brother Orion: Okay. Ross: I don't want you to talk about this. I want you to take them from start to finish, from when you first meet a woman, to specific, what specifically you say, all the way to the point where she, you do the initial closing. Okay?
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know, just because you've used it on a hundred different women doesn't mean that this woman knows that, you know, its ever been said before to anyone. And even if she does, part of what you do in the intro is you set a context for the whole conversation. Now, some people talk a lot about, sort of like an environmental pace, where you say, "Ah, isn't it beautiful weather here" or we're both here at this restaurant and you talk about the environment around you. Now that's a great way to get into a friendly conversation, but it's a shitty way to start a seduction. I think. It works for some people, but for me I want to let the person know, at least to a certain extent, what I'm about from the very beginning and a line is great to do that. So I went up to her, I said something about her just being a shining example of genetic perfection. And she was loving it, she had three guy friends who were sitting down the bar but I had her attention wrapped, started giving her a massage. She started to have a couple of drinks, a few drinks, and I knew, I knew she was going to be drinking so "I don't want to talk to a girl when she's drinking.” You know, I knew she was going to have a few more drinks. I wanted to get out of there, close, I got a date to meet her, a time, an address.
Audience: Laughter Brother Orion: The handwriting analysis deck is your golden ticket to getting laid, I'm telling you guys. And it does more than that. It makes the whole much more interesting, it makes a learning experience for you. You have a lot of fun doing it. And I, I have adapted it some to, including patterns while I actually do the handwriting analysis. Ross: Okay. So what specifically did you say when you closed her? Brother Orion: So, okay, then I went through the handwriting analysis. Now the reason I want to talk about openings and closings is that, is most of the weekend is structured to learning how to do these patterns, how to talk to women, and I figure once you get a, this skillset down, that, the meat of it, you know, the center of it will, will be stuff that you can do. You can, you can riff on these themes, you can use the memorized patterns, which I absolutely do and I recommend, but it's the openings and the closings that are really going to set the context and close the deal. And, so when I close the deal, I said to her, "You know, I would love to have a chance to get to talk to you another time when there aren't so many distractions and, " you know, something along the lines of "get to know the inner you is as beautiful as the outer one.” And she said, ...
Ross: All right, Ben, you need to, you know, I'm sorry, Orion. Brother Orion: Yes. Ross: Orion. Brother Orion. Orion, so we can cut that.
Ross: Now, that sounds like a compliment but is, it is, it's also a challenge.
Brother Orion: ... was a shining examp le of genetic perfection and I had to come over and tell you that.
Brother Orion: It Is a challenge. That's right. And I'll tell you, a lot of these, a lot of these pickup lines I hear them straight out of Ross' mouth and I think I'm going to go out and try this out and see what response it gets. The patterns, the same way. I don't care if it's not my original words. If it works, if it gets a response, you know, why should I have to reinvent the wheel when you've done so much work to make stuff that really works straight out of the box.
Ross: Say it the way you would say it if she were actually here. Brother Orion: I said, okay, I went up to her and I said, "Amy, ... ?: _____ , music on. Brother Orion: Cut, okay. Ross: Cut.
Ross: Well, the other thing is pioneers wind up with arrows in their backs.
Brother Orion: I went up to her, I went up to this girl in this bar right after the seminar, this was half an hour after the seminar was over, this gorgeous six foot tall, very slender girl with a stylish hair cut, and I went up to her and I said, "Pardon me, I have just got to tell you, you are a shining example of genetic perfection.” She said, "Thank you.” I said, "You know, have you ever had your handwriting analyzed?" And for anybody who hasn't seen this, this is your, you ever see the movie WILLIE WONKA? Where they have the golden ticket?
Brother Orion: That's right. But there's things I'm willing to try and pioneer, you know. I will, I will try things that are new and, and I've been trying a lot of things new with closes but I'm going to get into, it's just, more recently since last year. She got, okay, so this was, what we got a meeting for Wednesday. Tuesday night I went out to the same coffee shop I was supposed to meet her at, 1: 30 at the morning, in the morning, coffee shop closes at 2: 00. This gorgeous girl comes up, I had to try this line, I said, I
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said, "Pardon me, forgive me for interrupting you. I'm sure that I've seen you before. I remember it now. I was reading a book on angels and it had your face on the cover.” And she backed away a moment. And I thought oh, I blew it, you know, last chance to talk to a girl tonight. And then she moved forward and said, "Thank you.” I said, "Have you ever had your handwriting analyzed?" She said, "No.” I said, "I'll tell you what. Why don't we sit down for a cup of coffee? Half an hour later, sure enough, the coffee shop is closing, but I had already done these patterns on her, the blamo pattern, the bj pattern, I'd really gotten her going. I'd started doing a massage on her in the coffee shop. And I said, "Listen, if I were to ask you back to my place, would you come with me?" Thank you very much, Major Mark. And she did and within two hours ...
Audience: Oh, on your bed. Brother Orion: Yeah. Audience: Laughter. What part of her body? Brother Orion: Oh, on her back, on her back. Yeah. Audience: On her back. Brother Orion: You know, one of the things that I think I don't necessarily know that it, oh, in, in the restaurant, I'll massage her shoulders in the coffee shop. I think it might, there might be a value, there's different ways to play this, to massage and lay back. Don't get sexual while you're massaging her. Give her massage, give her a chance to just feel good and that you're not coming on to her and then go in for it. There's other ways to do it. If you're, if you're getting a really strong response, you can go directly physical without that.
Ross: "If I were to ask you, if I were to ...” Do you hear the weasel phrase? That, write that down on a, do you have, Orion, Orion, cut. Orion, write that down, Orion ...
Ross: Like she turns over and takes off her shirt and says, "Would you do my front?" Brother Orion: Right.
Brother Orion: I don't write very well.
Ross: Green light.
Ross: Write that down "if I were to ask you, if I were to ...” Do you see the weasel phrase there? Do you see how it's beginning "If I were to ask you back to my place, would you come with me?"
Brother Orion: Green light. Or if she, Audience: Laughter Brother Orion: If she gives you this look afterwards with glazed eyes and slightly puffy lower lip and that just looks like, ummm, that look you love to get, you know. So within two hours of meeting her, bam, we're going at it.
Audience: Response from audience, laughter. Ross: A lot better than "You want to come back to my place?" Brother Orion; So, what I want to add to this, this is the, this is the, at the time it was the best-looking girl I had been with. She had a gorgeous body, she was a really lovely, wonderful person to spend a couple of hours with.
Ross: Now ... Brother Orion: Wednesday ... Ross: Now, hang on. Did she give, offer any verbal resistance as you were going at it.
Ross: Response from Ross Brother Orion: Would you come with me back to my place - I should write this down - to my place ...
Brother Orion: This particular one, no. That, at, at the Palo Alto seminar, that was a very interesting case of, of some verbal resistance that I continued to overcome because she had obviously wanted, she, a lot of times a woman will want you to expand her model of the world enough so that she can do what she really wants to do.
Ross: So you got her back to your place and then what? Brother Orion: And then, I, I basically got right into giving her a massage and while I'm giving her massage, I'm running patterns on her, I'm reading her my poems, ...
Ross: So resistance is not really resistance, it's a quest, it's a request for assistance in surrendering to you.
Audience: Where did you give her the massage? Brother Orion: On my bed.
Brother Orion: And, and that's something I've really notice with the kind of women that I wouldn't before have approached, these sorority girl types, the girls who have a lot money ... Like last night when I was
Audience: On your bet Brother Orion: On my bed.
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talking to girls who were out for, they were going after the professional hockey guys who were in the bar that we were in. And these were girls who were after that particular _____ type of guy. But when I got them going, man, they just wanted reasons that they could step outside their model of the world and have the kinds of experiences that they wanted to have, and have the kind of gift that I could offer them. And, and, and Brother Metaman saw that, you know, after I'd been _____ this girl in front of her boyfriend, you know, sitting close to her with my hand on her shoulder, I walked away because she couldn't meet with me because of her boyfriend, that's fine, but she came later on to find me, with her friend, so that I would talk to her some more. And she was the hottest girl in the bar.
your response when you hear that? "This is happening too fast.”
?: Do me, do me is what she said.
Brother Orion: Right.
Brother Orion: That's night. Do me, do me.
Ross: It's not that it's happening too fast, it's that it's the comfort is not sufficiently there.
Brother Orion: Well initially, I, I actually change the rate that I move at. I physically change, not necessarily the rate that I move at. I mean, not necessarily that I come on to her, but the rate that I physically move at. And I back off a little bit, and then I keep going. And you know I accept that she says that, I can, I can, you know, without even necessarily challenging her verbally, I can just keep going. I can back up a little bit. Cause if it's happening too fast that means she wants it to happen. Ross: Yes. Yes. And I think what she's really, what they're really saying in that case is, "Help me to feel more comfortable with this.”
Ross: But he said something very interesting. He said often times a woman wants to be able to expand the range of what she can experience. She doesn't know how so ...
Brother Orion: Right. And you've gotta be understanding of that. And the other thing is, if they're saying that, it's largely because they're thinking, "What would my friends be saying?" You've gotta really think about, a lot about this. When I was talking to this girl who was the hottest girl in the bar, I was saying to her, "You know, you love to dance, people love to watch you dance, people get jealous of your energy, a lot of women are real jealous with you ...” All these things pace, you know, the experience that she has and that keep her from having the kind of intimacy she wants to have. I think, I think a lot of the, you know, the women I wouldn't have approached awhile ago before because of what you see on the surface of them. But when you communicate in this way with them, you get in touch with the kind of woman that you want to hang out with anyway.
Brother Orion: That's right. Ross: your job through a seducer is to lead her into that place ... Brother Orion: That's right, Ross: where she finds, to her astonishment, that she begins to create a new opening ... Brother Orion: That's right. Ross: for new experiences. Brother Orion: She needs some help, she needs some help receiving the gift that I have to give her. I really believe that.
Ross: And this is a very important point, something that Major Mark taught me. Actually, he, when we were in, I'm getting old, when we were in, where were we? Hawaii. When we were in Hawaii and Major Mark was doing his, his thing on business, he made a very important point. He said, "Forget about the fact that person has something that you really want.”
Ross: Yeah. Brother Orion: And, they, Wednesday night the girl, I thought she wasn't going to show up, she was maybe five minutes late, sure enough, she showed up, I did the patterns on her, I asked her back to my place, I said, "I want to read you some poetry but I left it back at my house.” Boom, again within two hours ... So this was, you know, within a few days of the seminar, two different girls who were just absolutely gorgeous ...
Brother Orion: Uh hmm. Ross: "Instead, pay attention to the predictable structures inside their mind that you can use to get what you want.” Now that means it doesn't matter. Guys have said, "Ross, what about really beautiful women? Does this work on them?" I said, "What difference does, does that make? She still has an unconscious mind. She's still a woman.” As Mark
Ross: Now, now, if you would ... Brother Orion: Please. Ross: Have you ever heard this kind of thing where she's says, "This is happening too fast?" What is
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would say, what did you say about really beautiful women? You said, "Being beautiful, don't hold her birth defect against her?"
Ross: Brother Orion, Brother Orion, we can insert that. Brother Orion. Could you talk about some of the, your other lines that you use. Your shining examples ...
Audience: Laughter
Brother Orion: I'm, I'm going to get into that ...
Brother Orion: Right.
Ross: Okay.
Ross: Being exceptionally beautiful is like she has a birth defect, so
Brother Orion: Absolutely. Ross: Okay. I'm sorry. Go.
Brother Orion: Right.
Brother Orion: Some of the, some of the lines I like to use are, recently I've been just skipping the lines sometimes. I'll go up to someone and I'll, and if they're writing, I'll go, "Oh, oh, is that your writing?" Dah.
Ross: don't punish her for it. Major Mark: She's had to struggle with it all her life and the compassionate thing to do is just let it go, act as though it doesn't even exist.
Audience: Laughter
Brother Orion: Right. And, and she has had to struggle it all, all of her life. I mean, beautiful women have had different experiences in life. And so it's something to realize. Of course this stuff works on them. It direct, communicates with their unconscious, it communicates with what they want to experience, and what they're held back from because of the way that the, that the world treats them for being beautiful, which is a little bit different. So I try to focus on, myself, on really beautiful women, on approaching them and how they operate in the world. But you bet it works on them. I think it works better on them.
Brother Orion: "Why, yes ... ... Have you ever had that analyzed? There's something really interesting about you. Would you like me to analyze your handwriting?" Or, you know, I've, or this line that you say about, y ou know, "If you can spare a little bit of time I'll tell you secrets about yourself that even your best friends don't know. And I get to discover if you're the kind of person I want to get to know better.”
Ross: Take it from me. Being exceptionally great looking is not always an advantage.
Audience: Do you find there's some example, or some benefit to asking obvious question that you're certain to get a yes answer from, like is this your handwriting?
Ross: Yes Brother Orion: Go ahead.
Audience: Laughter. Brother Orion: And I'll tell you ...
Brother Orion: Sure, there's, there's, there's absolutely some benefit in that. I don't want to get stuck in it, you know. There's the old sales courses that talk about the yes set. You want to get someone saying, "Yes.” "Is this your name?" "Yes ... ... Is this your address?" "Yes.” There's definitely a benefit to that.
Ross: It's the price that we pay. Audience: Part of the handicap. Brother Orion: Part of the reason why is because women are used to being hit on. Look, they're used to it. You're not doing something alien to them. You're going up to them and talking to them. You're doing it in a, in a totally different and much more wonderful and amazing way, you know, when you get, when you, especially when you get really good at this. But even when you just use the lines, memorized, you know, you're complimenting them, you're giving them a nice feeling. And you, and they're used to it. They're, beautiful women especially are used to being hit on a lot. So you're not doing something that's foreign to them, if you're doing something that's okay.
Ross: Are you annoyed by my questions? Yes. Brother Orion: Exactly. Exactly. In and of itself, by itself, it's not a very powerful question, but you can also ask those kinds of things unconsciously. You can, say, questions they don't actually have to answer out loud. You know, they're, but, yeah, that does help. Especially, you know, if you're trying to get rapport with them at the very beginning. And I think rapport is very important. So, I'll talk a woman, and I'll say some lines like, "Pardon me, forgive me for interrupting you.” And I must have used this hundreds of times. ”But I just have got to tell you, you are absolutely stunning, drop dead gorgeous beautiful and I, I had to take a chance to get to know
Ross: Brother Orion, would you ... Brother Orion: Please. Ross: If I could ... Brother Orion: yes.
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you. My name's Ben.”
Ross: Okay. If you walk straight up to someone like this, this is a threat.
Ross: That's so great. That's so
Brother Orion: Right.
Brother Orion: God dammit. My name's Orion.
Ross: They don't know whether they're going to flee, fight, fuck or ...
Audience: Laughter Ross: Do you want to do the whole thing over?
Brother Orion: Angles.
Brother Orion: Feeling schizophrenic today here. My name's Orion. Now, another thing I want to talk about is, I do want to talk a little bit about rapport. I have seen some guys who are utterly, totally go for it, unbelievable, they'll hit up on women way before I will, and they don't bother to get rapport with them. They go up to them, they stand in their face, they say, they deliver the line, they might use great tonality, but physically, they're way off. Especially, you, you get a lot of big guys doing this. There was one guy over six feet tall, bald guy, would come up in people, you know, lean into their space and it's just like, you know what? He had good skills but, you know, you have to be respectful of someone's space. So it's great to do the predator but what you do is, you do the predator, you, you know, you get that, that fierceness in your attitude to go up and talk to them and then you stand back and you say what you want say from, from, not necessarily a far physical distance, but from a physical posture that's more, less invasive.
Ross: Or appease. Okay. You want to approach at a 45 degree angle so they're seeing you peripherally. Brother On on: Uh hmmin. Ross: Okay? This is friendly. Brother Orion: Right Ross: Now face me. This is not, this is a challenge, ... Brother Orion: Right Ross: Like I'm going to get in your face and so ... Brother Orion: Yep. Ross: If you're going approach, one of the things that will increase your success, do not come, or, or if they're, stand and face the window ... Brother Orion: Yep.
Ross: Okay? Don't come-up like this. Hey, you know, it's like, okay? The best thing you can do
?: This is too advanced to _____ , but one of the things when people talk about personal space ...
Audience: Laughter
Brother Orion: Right.
Ross: Position it so it's at a 45 degree angle so they can see you, they can pick up the motion, see you peripherally, and you're in, you know, stop like here.
?: A lot of people wonder what determines personal space. Brother Orion: Right.
Brother Orion: Yep.
?: Well, what we found out what determines a lot of people's personal space is the distance that they normally put their pictures up when they visualize.
Ross: If you're going to come straight out ... Brother Orion: Yeah.
Brother Orion: Right. Right, yeah. You step in people's pictures if you get close to them. That's absolutely true.
Ross: on someone, that's an attack. Brother Orion: And it does have to do with how physically large of a person you are as well. You really have to take your own size into consideration.
Ross: The other thing, the other thing to keep in mind and you, you're going to address it ...
Major Mark: If I could just add something.
Brother Orion: Yes.
Brother Orion: Please
Ross: We'll cut it, but ...
Major Mark: You mentioned something really quickly in passing, which is you say, come up, be predatory, and then back off? Okay? Well, have you ever been around a woman and a very large cat at the same time, like when they're looking at tigers, lions, leopards, whatever? They're fascinated by this. Okay? Does
Brother Orion: Please. Ross: But, when you approach someone, do not approach like this, stay there, don't move. Brother Orion: Yeah.
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this mean that they want this animal leaping out of the cage ripping them to shreds? No. Okay. The fascinating thing about a predator is the realization that this potentially dangerous but not now, not here.
Ross & Audience: Laughter and cheers. I'm not worthy. Brother Orion: So cool. There's a lot, there's a lot of lines that work. And the reason I like lines, I don't always use them, but the reason I like them you have it worked out ahead of time. If you see someone out of the comer of your eye and you want to jump to it, you got, you know, it's like, it's like in TERMINATOR, when he's got that little display up ...
Brother Orion: Right. Mai . or Mark: Okay. It's like recognizing danger and feeling safety at the same time. Okay. It's recognizing this is a very bad boy, but I'm feeling pretty good about it. Hmmm.
Audience: Laughter
Brother Orion: And that has a lot to do with your state that you get in before you go out to do this stuff. I'll sit in my car before I go into a coffee shop and get myself in a state. I'll run through the unstoppable confidence exercises.
Brother Orion: I have one. BBBBBBBB. Fuck you asshole. Audience: Laughter. Ross: I have one and before I go out and sarge, I run through six different possible responses before I even walk out the door.
Ross: I'm sorry. He did it to me again. Because now I'm spinning a pattern based on what he just said. Major Mark: Yep, yeah.
Brother Orion: Yep. Yep.
Brother Orion: Cool.
Ross: So when I see, I lock on and I know, I know what choices I have available. Just like a fighter pilot in a modem cockpit, he has to have situational awareness. He has so many different weapons systems that nowadays that don't have dials; they have video display terminals that pop up. It shows the status of each weapon and they even give you a little cone, it's like represented in red, to tell you if the target's within the, within the range of that weapon. So you'll see here's the weapon, they'll have a little cone-shaped pattern to tell you if they're within missile range for that particular weapon. So you go, "Oh, I can't use that, I can't, oh, I can use this one and it's getting to the point I can use that one.” I'll show you mine on after, later on in the afternoon. Go ahead.
Ross: "Do you, did you, you ever gone to the zoo and look at a big cat or predator. Do you ever watch people watching predatory cats? I think the real appeal of the cat is to note that this is something really dangerous, really powerful, but not right now. At the moment, you feel totally safe with this, but you know at the right moment, all that coiled power can be unleashed and directed right at you. Almost like you're something for them to eat.” Audience: Laughter Brother On on: Cool. Ross: "And what is that like inside when you walk the line between danger and safety, danger and safety? And you feel the tug between the two forces deep on the inside such that it opens up an entirely different personality inside? A personality begins to emerge and come forth. A personality that goes, ummm, I bet you I could pet that tiger and make it roll over and purr for me and only for me, ummm.” I'm riffing on this, I'm making ...
Brother Orion: BBBBB. I have an intuition about you. You are very visual. You make images very vividly in your mind. Ross & Audience: Laughter Brother Orion: You have the lines worked out so you don't have to think about them, you don't have to think about them and anybody who knows anything about science which, somehow, you got a lot of those people at your seminars.
Brother Orion: Cool. Ross: it up on the spot. But see, he talks, I hear patterns, he's a pattern generator.
Ross: Yes
Audience: Laughter
Brother Orion: You have control groups. When you do science, you have control groups. You control for the factors to see what's working. You might approach the same kind of girls, I love, I'm giving it away here, but I love college campuses. I mean, you get the, you get the same age, the same socio,
Ross: I'm sorry. Brother Orion: That's okay. Major Mark: That was excellent. You didn't work in the raspy tongue thing.
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socioeconomic group, you get the same, you can go for, I'm only going to talk to five foot six blondes today. I mean, you can really control it. And then, ...
posture. You can match her pretty closely. I mean, obviously these techniques aren't as powerful as the language patterns and some of the other skills, but it's important to be in rapport, use the same voice, general voice tone, but of course, it'll lead into a more hypnotic, you know, more seductive voice tone. Use the same posture. And you're able to pay attention to these things cause you're not thinking about the next word out of your mouth. Yo u know, and when an actor's up on stage, they're not trying to remember their lines by that point, they remember their, they're feeling the emotions.
?: Smorgasbord. Brother Orion: Smorgasbord. And then you have a particular line or a few lines you use and you go and try them again and again and again. You set out with that outcome. You're not going out, "Gee I'm think I'm going to go for a stroll in the park and if I happen to meet a woman ...” And then you'll go out and you think, "I'm going to go out and for three hours, I'm just going to use these techniques, I'm just going to try this line, I'm just going to talk to them and if goes for more than half an hour, I'm going to make a date for later.” Something, but get out there and try it. say, "I'm going to make 200 glow today.” Okay?
Ross: Now, Ben, you, you said something about tone. Kim's going to come tomorrow and teach us how to improve our voice and our tonality. But I want to talk a little bit about it cause ... Brother Orion: Please
?: 200?
Ross: One of the things I've noticed about you is, you don't do this thing where you really lean on the commands, like it's important to feel horny, horny. You tend to ...
Brother Orion: You can do it! Eight hours on a college campus, how could you not talk to 200 women? I mean, you know, when you do, when you do marketing, how, how, what are, what's the percentage of return you get? You know, two, five percent? Not with your killer marketing, of course. But, you know, most of, most mail order stuff, you know, you're getting these low percentages.
Audience: Laughter Ross: It seems to me that when you speak to women ... Brother Orion: Echo, I'm bad.
?: And most mail order houses, in, to break even is one percent.
Ross: Yeah.
Ross: When you speak to women, you have an overall tonality that's hypnotic. Your overall tonality, no matter what you said, it's a little quieter, a little softer, a little more here than it is here ...
Brother Orion: Wow, wow.
Brother Orion: yep
Ross: But, but you're always getting something cause you're always getting feedback and learning and getting more confident.
Ross: Which is ...
Brother Orion: One percent? Is that right?
Brother Orion: And I, and, and what's interesting that I've started doing is, I do fractionate. I do talk about, I want to make a distinction between me and all the other chumps out there. And I'll say, you know, "You know, it's so interesting to be having a conversation like this cause sometimes you talk to someone and they could be talking about their car or their job and it's so boring, but sometimes you start to think about those other things.” And of course, Ross brought up embedded commands. For anybody who doesn't know an embedded command, you take a short phrase, in, in the, in the tense of a command, you know, feel really horny, get really turned on, pause, drop your tonality, pause, it embeds it, it communicates directly with the unconscious mind. It's a short, short version of what an embedded command does.
Brother Orion: Yep. Ross: Every, you, you, so there's not a situation where you don't get some positive stroke out of it. Brother Orion: Yep. And I'm not saying to have everything you have, you gotta say canned. But when you know what you're going to say, you can think about other things. Because one of the real amazing things about a lot of what NLP does is it forces you to pay attention to the person in front you. Ross: Right. Brother Orion: You've gotta pay attention to how they're communicating. To get rapport, when I talk about rapport, I'm talking mainly about matching and mirroring their, they way that they stand, their
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Ross: But what he's doing there is shifting his tone.
it's just going to keep getting better and better and better?" Shit. ”Who are you?"
Brother Orion: Right.
Audience: Laughter
Ross: He talks about normal guys, he goes ...
Ross: And then I went into what I do, but, go ahead.
Brother Orion: That's right.
Brother Orion: Cool. A few things I want to cover on intros before I move on, and I've covered a lot here. You might have to back the tape up and listen to again because I went through some things pretty quickly without going into detail about them. And that's, one of the things is that, you, that some of the lines, the patterns are structured really well so you don't have to think about the structure. It takes a pretty good degree of skill to get to the level where you can build patterns that are exquisitely formed. So, you do spend them, the middle time talking, you know, both in memorized patterns, if you can memorize a few patterns, it'll help you out, but also, you know, talking generally, but when you throw those memorized patterns in there, they're all prepared and ready to go, just ready to be shot out. And then it's trial and error. It's really, when you use, you know, lines, it is trial and error. You're, you, you're seeing what works and what doesn't work, and it's experimental, you know, when, when you step out of being emotionally connected to every response you get from a woman. Well, even if you are emotionally connected to it, you get so much positive responses, you know, cause you're coming from a positive place. You're, you're really hoping to make the woman feel good.
Ross: Now the normal guys, but then there are the other people ... Brother Orion: Right. Ross: And, now, let me ask you a question, … Brother Orion: Please. Ross: cause I know there's a question. I'm, I'm playing ventriloquist dummy here and they're ... Brother Orion: Go for it. Ross: operating my mouth. Hmmm, I don't know if I like that image. Audience: Laughter Ross: Urn, um, um, um, the question I have for you is, well don't some women notice, don't women, some women say, "Hey, you sure have a funny voice. You're talking quietly. What's up with ... ? " Brother Orion: They say, what they say is, "You're good.” Audience: Laughter Brother Orion: In that tonality. Ross: 'Mat's what they say to me.
Ross: The mindset that you should take on is, did you see, I'm sorry, did you see the movie THE RIGHT STUFF?
Brother Orion: What's up with that? Ross: That's what they say to you, "You're good, you're really good.” I'll give you a story.
Audience: Yes
Brother Orion: Please.
Ross: Who has not rented that movie? Who has not seen THE RIGHT STUFF? Rent it and watch it. You want to have the night stuff. Their whole thing is that they want to see how far they can push it.
Ross: I was sitting in, I was, this is how, we, we interrupt each other and that's okay. I was sitting at California Pizza Kitchen, this really hot looking black actress, singer, dancer, whatever, sits down next to me and I said, "That's a really great coat. Where did you get it?" One of my famous lines, "Where did you get that?" She said, "Oh, my boyfriend bought it for me. In fact, I didn't even have to go with him. I just sent him out shopping and he knows what to buy.” I said, "Oh really? So in other words, he knows how to please the culturally programmed woman instead of the natural woman?" And she looked at me, she said, "Ooo, you're good, you're really good.”
Brother Orion: Let me, let me get through this section and take questions on intros and then I'll move on to closes. I don't want to spend a lot time answering questions, just simply because I have a lot a material I want to get through. Ross: Go for it. Brother Orion: The other thing is your, is your outcome, that you want to have an outcome in mind. I mean, go out there, and your outcome could be to, to, you know, make 20 women smile. That could be a great outcome. Your outcome, I think, you know, a
Audience: Laughter. Ross: I said, "Won't it be wonderful if she recognizes
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great outcome to have is just to have fun. You know, if you're going out and you have the outcome of having fun, but you also should have an outcome, I think, you know, if you leave your house. Actually go out and use the skills and meet women. I mean, I don't think you should just have an outcome, outcome of having a nice afternoon. You know, if this is what you really want to do, you should set aside a period of time and really focus on it. And you should, you can also have, you know, an outcome of getting results. I want to get this far with someone. It's part of the way that you can plan ahead is, you can, you know, plan for the following day. What, what's my outcome, what do I want to learn tomorrow, what do I want to plan out, you know, for memorizing or practicing or for building my state? And, and have a lot of fun with it, that, the whole introduction, the whole idea. I also like partial introductions where you just go up to a woman and you say, "I have just got to tell you, I love your shoes, you're really stylish, and you have great energy.” And she'll say, "Thanks.” And I might even say, "Have a nice day.” You know, and walk off. Part, and but, I trick myself This is cool. I trick myself I actually think to myself, you know what? This is what's been happening with these really beautiful sorority type, you know, athletic, rich women who I just didn't think I have a lot in common with or I'm really going to get on that well with. I go up to them and I think I'm just going to go make her feel good just so I can get used to talking to beautiful women. So that it becomes part of my experience and my everyday life is I talk to beautiful women. Tens. I just do it. It doesn't make a big deal. And it, it increases, you know, the way other people see you. It increases your believability. When you're talking to beautiful women, you know, psychological studies show that you're move believable, and you're perceived as more believable by the people around you. So I'll go up and I'll just say that, but then when I get to the part of "Have a nice day" a lot times, they won't let go of my hand. They want to talk with me. They want to know more of where I'm coming from. And part of it was because, you know, that might see somehow that, that I'm just there to make them feel good, and I can walk away if they like. But that's not the best way. If you actually want to go further, keep going, keep going, and keep going and keep going. Just because there's a pause in the conversation, doesn't mean you have to walk away. Just because you, she's not responding doesn't mean you have to walk away. If it looks like she's listening and taking in what you're saying, she might just be like going crazy inside of her mind and not, and not giving you real vivid visual signs. Especially before you build up the acuity to
notice what some of the signs are. So, having wrapped up that section of intros, does anybody have any questions? I'm just going to take a couple, but let's go. Audience: Well, first off, you keep talking about the sorority girls and it sounds so familiar to them. The movie LOVE' POTION NUMBER 9 where ... Brother Orion: Yeah Audience: you'll help me understand ... Brother Orion: I haven't seen it. Audience: the power ... Brother Orion: But I've heard of it. Audience: _____ college campuses ... Brother Orion: Right Audience: sorority scene. Anyway, also, you're talking about the believability, what do you mean by that, that Studies show that you're ... Brother Orion: Oh, well, there, there have been psychological studies that show if you, if, if You'll, if, if two people look at someone, right, and, and they're looking to see if they're believable, maybe they're hearing a recording on a phone, and they look at a picture of who they're supposed to be talking to, and if the picture is a guy with a beautiful woman and it's the guy talking, no matter what the guy looks like, if it's a beautiful woman who's with him in the picture, right, he's more believable. If you're around beautiful women in your life, if you are, you and she have a higher status in society. This is the, this is the, you know, the down and dirty way to get alpha male status. Ross: Why do you think I'm giving I want to sleep with copies of PLAYBOY magazine, with the article about me in it? Because the first thing they do is turn to the centerfold and the other pictures and go, "Wow, look at her, look at her. He must be something. He's in the magazine with all these nude girls; therefore, he's with all these nude girls. Da da da da.” Plus my trainer's absolutely fabulously babe-a-licious. Cause I work out with her in the gym, all the beautiful women in the gym will talk to me. Brother Orion: That's night. Ross: "Oh yeah. You're that guy who hangs out with Molly.” Well, I pay her to train me, that's ... Brother Orion: And as much as I think desensitization is not the way to get over fear is, you know, ...
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Ross: Yeah.
Brother Orion: you know, they say the really do believe it, you can step in and say ...
Brother Orion: It does help over a time, you know. If you have a fear and you're going out and talking to them all the time, you teach your mind that you can do that, that it's part of your everyday experience. Did you have a comment?
Ross: They're easily memorized. I, you, you'll get all ... Brother Orion: Right. Ross: _____
Audience: I just wanted to add a quick little validation. I've only been playing with this stuff for a couple of months, but, when I use something like "You're a shining example of genetic perfection" and I just stand back for a second? Probably a good 50% of the time, they'd say, "What's your name?"
Brother Orion: But even when you've them memorized, you can carry them around with you if you like. Yeah, so. John? John: Is there any advantage to carrying them with you? Yates?: If you can touch her and hand her the card and she's handing it back to you so that natural touching is taking place with the cards.
Brother Orion: Right. Audience: They put their hand out and they ask, they introduce themselves to me.
Brother Orion: Right. Right. I don't though. I don't carry them around.
Brother Orion: Right. It's a great line. And, and, I don't say it to women who aren't. I say other lines, ...
Yates: You don't really need them, but I mean, there is some advantages of having them.
Audience: Laughter Brother Orion: I don't. I don't. I don't. I, I say it to women who are and I say other lines to women who aren't. Those are great ...
Brother Orion: John? John: I guess this, this still gets me as the, how do you maintain your sense of sincerity when you've done a pattern a hundred times?
Ross: You can adapt it. If you see an extremely athletic woman, I'll say, "Excuse me, has anyone ever told you you're a shining example of physiological perfection?"
Brother Orion: Because it, because, if I have done a pattern a hundred times, I have gone through the motion, emotions of the pattern at least a hundred times plus all the times that I went through to it to memorize, I mean, "Have you ever felt an incredible connection like maybe as you're there, " and every time I say it, you cannot say the words without experiencing some amount of the emotions. And the more that you experience them, the more that you can feel them. And so it is sincere, it's absolutely sincere. Even if I didn't write it, I believe it.
Brother Orion: Oooh. Or athletic perfection? Ross: I've never tried that one but I have said physiological perfection. Brother Orion: Yeah. So, go ahead. Audience: You mentioned the grapho-deck earlier. Now, do you carry that with you and pull it out and use it ...
Major Mark: YOU can't say it without feeling emotion. My sense is there are guys in the room who see patterns as I say them without necessarily being connected with the emotion.
Brother Orion: No. I don't. I don't. A lot of people like to do that kind of thing and the reason is, even if you've gotten to a level where you don't, you memorize it, what you can do is, you can step back from it. You can say, "The cards say, the cards tell you, ...”
Brother Orion: Right. Major Mark: Okay? Now, were, one of the additional antenna that women have is they have got a terrific bullshit detector, especially when it comes to men. Okay? And if you come up and you lie to her face, well guess what? She's not going to respond favorably. Okay? We say this over and over and over again. We talk about you must go first.
Audience: So it's repeating what ... Brother Orion: "the cards tell me, " so you're, you're, you can give authenticity to an expert in the cards without having to say, "I'm the expert, I know.” And if the challenge and say, "I don't believe it, " you go, "Yeah, those cards.” Or if they, ...
Brother Orion: Right.
Ross: They're easily memorized.
Major Mark: This is, this doesn't just mean experiment
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with all _____ the states, take yourself into trance, and all this kind of stuff, but it also means that if you're talking about an emotion, you've got to be familiar with that that you're describing. Brother Orion: Right. Major Mark: That you must feel it. Now, the good news is as you feel and as you describe it, it's not a matter of how do I maintain my sincerity, you're just talking, you are actually doing it. And that's what they respond to. Ross: Now, let me say this. You don't want to have the full response that she's going to have. Just enough of it to guide you.
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everybody, I encourage you to do that.
Tape 6 – Side 1
Ross: Yes. And see, and this is very important to see. You could come in here on the first morning thinking speed seduction is something I'm going to learn to say to women. Well, that's not what it's about. Speed seduction is about learning to think about the world and think about people in a certain way, so that your words reflect who you are as a person. So, yes, you should memorize patterns as an example of the kind the things, the kinds of communications that will touch women in a certain way. But as you're memorizing the patterns, also get a piece of that experience for yourself. Imagine someone is reading that pattern to you in a way that really touches you and get a piece of that feeling for yourself. To the extent that you step into an experience and have it for yourself when you talk about it, you're not reciting, you're revealing. I'll say it again. If you step into a pattern and really get some of the experience yourself, then when you talk about it you're reciting, you're revealing.
Yates: This is Side 11 of the Ross Jeffries Basic Speed Seduction Seminar
Ross: Now, let me say this. You don't have the full response that she's going to have. Just enough of it to guide you. So, I'll, we're going to do an exercise later in the weekend where I'll show you how to briefly step into any emotion, have just a little of it, just enough to keep you on track so that your words are sincere, instead of it being just memorized script that no relation to what you believe. And this is why I say, eventually, to get really powerful with this, you want to find patterns that reflect a theme that's deep, passionate meaning to you. The reason why I'm better with this if I'm blatant and blunt about it, is, cause what my work is a deep, passionate concern to me. Brother Orion: Absolutely.
Brother Orion: Uh hmmm.
Ross: When I talk to women about what I do and I talk to about what I teach the guys and what I try to get across and what my challenges are, I'm not kidding them. This made me much more effective and powerful with this to just flat out "I teach hypnosis and seduction.” And to talk about what I teach and why it's important to me, and of course I'm weaving pattern language all throughout there. But I'm talking about something of sincere importance to me.
Ross: What is the difference, here we go, contrasting. Remember what's the difference between looking and truly seeing? What's the difference between someone who's interesting and someone who intriguing? What's the difference between reciting and revealing? Hold it. What's the difference between reciting and revealing? Now, it's okay to recite patterns, to memorize them. But you also want to put them through the filter of revealing in as much that you want to have a little bit of that experience for yourself. Just a wee bit. I'm not saying go all way to _____ but just have a little bit of it.
Brother Orion: Yeah. I, I now would add this. When it comes to sincerity and integrity, what, what we have here is a roomful of people who have spent their good money and taken their good time to learn how to make women beautiful, you know, and how to make them feel absolutely wonderful and experience what it is to be, you know, human and feel incredible emotions and feelings. We've, you know, and I've spent a lot time studying it. Now my integrity in that is that I apply it to making people feel really good in a way that's in their own best interest. And if it's not, I walk away from it. You know, I encourage everybody to have that attitude because women have a bullshit detector, they have an asshole detector that makes the bullshit detector look like Stone Age technology.
Brother Orion: And also you can weave in between patterns and you weave patterns in between your speech or however you want to look at it, that relate back to the themes are being explored and the patterns that you've memorized. Ross: A lot of way I think is about the difference between things. Brother Orion: All right ...
Ross & Audience: Laughter
Ross: That's the, that's the difference between me. Right?
Brother Orion: I'm telling you. They can tell assholes, people who are out to hurt them because they haven't resolved their own situations. We have an incredibly powerful skillset here and if you need to apply it to yourself first, before you start applying it to
Brother Orion: That's right. I think. Yeah, a difference between you, right. Okay, I'm going to move on to closes because I, I, I can't take too much time here today and I've got some things I want to let you guys know about.
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Ross: Take as much time as you want to, by the way.
particular person in mind who they've been friends with for a long time and they want to seduce. Well, there's a hell of a lot more good women out there to meet and when you've got these tools you can meet the good part of the good women and that's something you might never get to with those other women. So, what have you got to lose? You know? What, you're going to have coffee with her for another couple of weeks, talk, sit down and talk to her, try to think what you're going to come up with to say. What have you got to lose? Go for it. See if she's game, you know? I mean, the only thing you've got, you know, you've got to lose is nothing. The opportunity, but not even that. I mean, cause you can close more than once. She says no, you keep going, you make another try at it, you know.
Brother Orion: Oh, fantastic, fantastic. Well I will and I'll take ... Ross: I'm tired ... Brother Orion: some questions at the end of this. So, even _____ if people have some questions about intros that's great. But, there's other lines out there you can explore. We've said other lines during the weekend, so, I'm not going to go through a whole lot them. I am going to get into closes because, you know, let's say you've got the intro down, you've gotten rapport with them, you've done tons of patterns or whatever it takes and I keep going. I really keep going. I mean, if you, you think about, just a quick thing on memorizing. The average stage actor can, you know, memorize his part very rapidly for a, for a huge, I'm not going to say specifically, but, you know, hours of talking, monologues, and strange arcane forms of English. You can memorize these patterns; they're real. You know? I mean, this is, this is real experience. This is how things, how things work inside someone's mind. And it takes a little bit of time. There's different, you know, tools out there for memorizing but, by all means, do it. By all means memorize them, even if it's only so your unconscious can generalize. But I use them; I absolutely use them. And it comes down to the close. Okay, you've got her into the state you want her in, you know, it's time for whatever reason you've decided to, you know, to, to put the rubber to the road and see what's going to happen. What have you got to lose?
Audience: Laughter Brother Orion: So, I'm, I'm going to say a first, a couple of linguistic closes and then I'm going to talk more into strategies for closing. One is, is that Brother Kamal on our troubleshooter's tapes revealed this thing he's been working with for a long time called what would have to happen and listed her process. I love it. I heard that and I lit up. What would have to happen for us to get together for coffee? What would have to happen for us to laugh over a cup of coffee? Ross: What steps would we have to take? Brother Orion: What steps would we have to take. Brother Coby, what would have to happen for you to convince your wondrous self to join me for a cup of coffee?
Audience: Laughter
Ross: Yeah, Brother Coby says what would a guy have to do to convince your wondrous self to have a cup of coffee with me?
Brother Orion: Did I say that? Ross: That, by the way, that, that's what Rex Sykes said about speed seduction.
Brother Orion: Ah, I love it.
Brother Orion: That's right. Ross: He said speed seduction is the place in NLP where the rubber meets the road.
Ross: To go for a cup of coffee, is that what you say? Brother Orion: Convince your ... Not just to convince herself, to convince her wondrous self. Now, are you saying that wondrous part of her or are you saying to convince that wondrous person who she is? Beautiful, exactly, yeah, it's beautiful. Those ambiguities, they have to process it ...
Brother Orion: That's right. And do wear rubbers fellows. Okay. So, what have you got to lose at this point? Okay? I mean, relationships don't start for the most part with women, you know, being friends with guys and then eventually falling in love with them. It just doesn't work that way. That's why a lot of you need to get over that woman that you think that you seduce because you've been friends for so long. You know, it's like Major Mark says. We give you this brand new Ferrari and you drive it into the same old brick wall. You know? I, I, I'm sorry if I'm being harsh guys, but there's a lot of guys out there who have one
Ross: Rather than saying "Who you like to go out sometime or can I have your phone number?" Brother Orion: Right. That's, that part of the reason that Ross uses so many ambiguities is the Unconscious mind processes all possible meanings. So, the other thing is that a lot of these closes have presuppositions in it; presuppositions just being
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linguistic structures that have to be accepted in order for it to make sense. So, you know, what, so when you say something like "When would be a good time for me to call you?" what does that presume? Can somebody say what's it going ...
along the lines of, "Sure, I'll give you ...” This is beautiful. ?: Basically, if someone asks me for my phone number, I, I'm to the point now where I've given it out enough times and not gotten calls back where I say ...
Audience: Response from audience
Brother Orion: Right.
Brother Orion: What is it?
?: I need to get their phone number, that's my mindset, so I'll say, "Oh, sure I'll give you my phone number, but I also need to get yours from you.” And it's like as I'm handing my phone numb er to them, I put that reciprocity in place.
Audience: There might be a bad time. Brother Orion: There might, no it doesn't mean that there may be a bad, well, that does, okay. It does, but when would be a good time presumes that you're going to call her. And that she ...
Brother Orion: Right.
Audience: And that there will be a good time.
?: So I say, "Because I'm real serious about getting together with you and I want to make sure we get together.”
Brother Orion: And that there will be a good time ... Audience: She's going to give you her phone number.
Brother Orion: And if they say no to that again? Your response? Do you have another good response?
Brother Orion: And that she's going to give you her phone number. You know, a lot of times you say things like that, or I say, "Have you got a pen?" And if she says, "Yes" she's got a pen, she's on her way to actually writing down her phone number.
?: I don't even remember what it was. Brother Orion: It was something along the lines, along the lines, "Well, well, if you want to get together, great.”
Ross: And also when you say something like "What steps would we have to take to make sure we get a chance to talk again, " ...
?: Oh, yeah. If they, if they won't give me their phone number at all, I'll, sometimes I'll even take mine back from them and I'll say ...
Brother Orion: I should get back to that.
Brother Orion: Laughing
Ross: When she answer the questions and gives you her phone numb er, that sets up the expectation that giving the phone number, she's only giving it to you because she wants you to call.
?: "You know, no is okay. If you don't want to give me your phone number, no is okay, but I'm real serious.” Ross: I take my card
Brother Orion: Exactly.
Brother Orion: "Oh, no, no, " but you, but you say, "If you want to get together, that, that's great, but I'm not just going to give you my number.”
Ross: Rather than just giving it to you to get you out of the way. Brother Orion: Hey, can I have your phone number ...
Ross: And I've also did, I did this with this h. b. at the CPK _____ . She asked for my number. I said, "You're not going to call me. I know you're not going to call me.” She said, "I'll call you.” I said, "You're not going to call.” She said, "Give me your card.” And I gave it to her and I said, and I took it back out of her hand, and said, "Nah, you're not going to call me.” Well, she called me.
Ross: Right. Brother Orion: There's no further step. Ross: Yeah Brother Orion: And, and it's, it's the one time when I've started to actually be comfortable with women's phone numbers. Cause if that's their process, that you go up to someone and you say, you know, "What has to happen ...” well, "I have to give you my phone number.” And very rarely do they say, and they do say it sometimes, "Oh, just give me your phone number.” And then what, I'm sorry, can I hear your response to that when t hey ask you for your phone number? Is that okay? Where you say something
Brother Orion: Yep. Yep. Ross: Long distance. She was, she, she sings for somebody, she's in someone's band. She called me from the road in Nashville, Tennessee. Brother Orion: Ross has started working with some great challenge patterns.
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Ross: Yeah. As long as we're going
it's not necessarily bad for women to see you hitting on other women. It can actually be to your benefit. They know you're not afraid of beautiful women and you're talking to a woman who's hotter than she is and making her smile and laugh and giving her a massage. That can be a real green light.
Brother Orion: Which really, really set you up. So, once you get their phone number, with that particular close, what has to happen? "Oh, here's my number.” "Great. When's a good time to call?" Or, "Great. I'll tell you what. When would be a good time to get together?" Don't stop. Because you've got their phone number, you can go for more. You know? You've got, you've got one piece, you can go for the rest. ”Great. When, when do you want to get together?" or "When should I give you a call about getting together?"
Audience: Laughter Brother Orion: So, I think it's, I think to always close. Always close; it's good practice. You know? And if a woman's attractive and interesting enough for you to be talking to her, why not? You know, get her phone number, see what happens. Even if it doesn't seem like you're getting the kind of response ...
Ross: The other aspect of this is, here's another reason why you shouldn't just say, "Can I have your phone number?" What if the only step that she needs is, what if, in her mind, she's thinking, "Let's go back to my place right now" and you ask, "Can I have your phone number?"
Ross: Now, now, while we're on this, let me say something, let me deal with the challenge you'll often hear. ”I have a boyfriend.” Now oftentimes they're just saying that just to give token resistance. They're really saying, "Hey listen. I want to be with you but I don't want you to think I'm disloyal and you're going to find out anyway eventually, so, I'm just doing my duty letting you know I do have one. And now that I've done my duty, let's go big boy.”
Brother Orion: Absolutely. Ross: You've interrupted yourself. Brother Orion: Absolutely. And you get how excited she is. ”Oh, nothing.” They'll, I've had that answer. ”What would have to happen for us to get together?" "Oh, nothing.” "Great.” I, then I get to set the direction. ”Great, let's together, let's get together tomorrow, let's go right now, let's meet, you know, I'll give you a call ...” Whatever, it's up to you. ”Nothing would have to happen.” I hear it a lot Set a time. Try to find out when they're going call. You don't want to get into this technological warfare of caller 69, dot, star 69, you know, which calls somebody back, star 67 which blocks caller ID. All this kind of ...
Brother Orion: Yep. That's true. Absolutely. Absolutely. Ross: Most objections are not really objections, they're just requests for help. Here's a belief I want to give you that I forgot to give you earlier. Thank you Ben ... Brother Orion: Yeah. Ross: for being patient with me. The belief is that every woman wants to be seduced by you, she just doesn't necessarily know how. Brother Orion: Absolutely.
Ross & Audience: Laughter
Ross: Every woman wants to be seduced by you, she just doesn't necessarily know how. And objections are, in fact, just requests for help.
Brother Orion: Bogus game. I'm serious, you know. It's ridiculous and then sitting there and, "Oh, is she going to call me back?" Or, "Does she know that I called?" And all this kind of stuff.
Brother Orion: Yep. And along the lines of boyfriends, you know, you don't know what her relationship is with this guy. You know, I have, there's this girl staying at my apartment with my roommate right now. And he tells me, he's like, he's like, "Yeah, she's got boyfriend.” And I said, "Oh really?" You know, "Yeah, but he hasn't called her in months and he left town without saying anything.” So he's not going to come on to this girl who's staying in his room and you saw her. She's pretty cute.
Ross: She's like you need a wild weasel phantom aircraft for the electronic jamming equipment just to talk to her. Brother Orion: Right. I, I, I did this on this, on this girl not so long ago and she said, I said, you know, I said, "What has to happen?" "Well, here's my phone number.” She said, "I'm off Monday and Friday.” I said, "Great.” I already have her phone number. ”Why don't we get together Monday.” So I'm going to get together with her this Monday. So I made the plan, you know, and I just did it. And the other thing I should say, just going back real quickly to intros, is
Ross: Yeah, she's got a nice little, hot little thin body. Brother Orion: He's not going to hit on her because "She's got a boyfriend.” I mean ...
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Ross: A borefriend?
like this me - he's outta there.
Brother Orion: he didn't call her and ... a borefriend?
Brother Orion & Audience: Laughter.
Ross: "How long you been going out your borefriend?"
Ross: So, I'll give you that response again. ”Boyfriend? That's great. He must be the kind of man who can touch you, who are deep inside, instead of just someone you're keeping around until you find someone better.”
Brother Orion: That's right. Ross: My response is, "Oh, borefriend? Does your borefriend tell you he loves you all the time or just when he senses you're really bored with him?
Brother Orion: Or, "It's so rare to find somebody who meets all of your own special, unique values.” Major Mark.
Brother Orion: Yep. And you don't know, right, Audience: Responses from audience
Major Mark: Orion's right. It's incredibly arrogant of you to decide all the reasons why she must be ready and willing reject you. Okay? Now, a lot guys fall into this trap because they spent a lot of time and energy thinking up all the reasons why she must be upset with your kind of guy. Now, she must be the sort of woman who would never, ever go for you or she's one who's going to be impossibly loyal to this guy's treating her like crap. Okay? Let her make up her own mind; act as though women were people.
Brother Orion: Oh, oh, this is a good one, this is a good one. Audience: Responses from audience Brother Orion: Boyfriends; I used this last night. Boyfriends. ”Boyfriends are so easy to forget when they're not around.” Audience: Laughter Ross: So I give you that again. ”Borefriend? Does your borefriend tell you he loves you all the time or only when he senses you're bored with him?"
Brother Orion: That's right. Major Mark: Okay? Brother Orion: And that's a lesson that that guys, a lot of guys need to learn.
Brother Orion: Look, you don't have a right to make that decision for a woman. You know?
Ross: Another way to get past it since we're dealing with this boyfriend challenge is to say, I've had this work so many times, I say, "Boyfriend?" I'll go, "Hey, that's all right. I can promise to control myself. I can't control how naturally and easily you'll find all your feelings changing for just, only the right reasons.” So you say, "Boyfriend?"
Ross: laughs Brother Orion: I'm, you don't, you don't. She has a boyfriend. What, are you going to be insulting enough to tell her that she doesn't have the freedom to talk to you and to have a wonderful experience with you just because she's got some guy that, that, you know, they have what's a nominalization called boyfriend/girlfriend?
Brother Orion: Nice. Ross: "That's okay. I can promise to control myself I can't control how naturally and easily you'll find all your feelings changing for all the right reasons.” And they go, "Oooh.” That's always what I hear. Oooh.
Ross: Or, or I'll say something like, "Boyfriend?" I'll go, "Wow, that great. He must be the kind of man who really knows how to touch the person you are deep inside.”
Audience: Response from audience Ross: Okay. ”That's all right. I can promise to control myself. I can't promise, I can't control how naturally and easily you'll find all your feelings changing for all the right reasons ... Oooh.”
Brother Orion: Right. Ross: "I'm sure he's not just someone you're keeping around till you find someone better.” Brother Orion: Right, right.
Brother Orion: Now I want to get into physical closes. When I mean that, I mean getting, getting the physical contact with them. It's different than closing for phone number or a date or another meeting. This is the real deal.
Ross: No, then I'll nod my head like this. Brother Orion: And you can definitely approach women who are with guys. They're not necessarily with their boyfriends.
Audience: Laughter.
Ross: And I'll nod my head like this and if I see her go
Brother Orion: We go, we go back here,
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Audience: Response from audience.
Brother Orion: Yep.
Brother Orion: We go back here, what did you say? What's that?
Ross: If the legs are up off the floor and they're tucked under her on the seat ...
Ross: I recognize that sound.
Brother Orion: Yep.
Brother Orion: We go back here to the, to the, for our first clue to the father of modem hypnosis, Dr. Milton Erickson, who said, who was asked once, you know, how, how a person can know when to kiss a girl. And he said, "When the, when her lower lip engorges with blood and sticks out a little bit, she wants to be kissed.” You know? It's a great, it really is a great physical cue to look for. I, that doggie dinner bowl look is a great one to look for ...
Ross: So her feet are not touching the car floor at all, instead she's got her legs tucked up under her and she's turning towards the side facing you, sort of sideways like this, you're going to get some. Audience: Response from audience Brother Orion: Yes, I have Ross: Have you ever not gotten laid when that was happening?
Ross: I've seen some serious nipple erections through some very thick blouses.
Brother Orion: I ... Audience: Response from audience
Audience: Laughter Brother Orion: On the women I was talking to ...
Brother Orion: I don't think so. I haven't seen it very often.
Ross: No, I'm not, not trying to be vulgar here, I'm seriously, ...
Ross: That's a very seriously ... Brother Orion: I've certainly seen it out ...
Audience: Laughter
Ross: You ever been in that posture with a guy?
Ross: I'm not trying to be vulgar or crude, this little 18 year old waitress I ran into ...
Brother Orion: I definitely see it with, it with women I've been sleeping with or in my car.
Brother Orion: That's true.
Ross: Yeah. Extremely comfortable posture.
Ross: Gave me a dirty joke to tell. So I ran back in before my car was pulled up and told her and she went, voom voom.
?: Well, think about it. She's in this space where she has a 360 degree panoramic view ...
Brother Orion: And, and not every woman that you get hot and horny is going to want to kiss you, unfortunately, cause this would be a lot easier if it, if it worked that way. Cause it's really easy when you have the skills to get woman hot and horny, and it's a little bit more challenging to actually get to the point of physically closing.
Brother Orion: Right. ?: And she turns so that the only thing that is of interest to her is you. Brother Orion: Is you. Ross: Right. Brother Orion: And the other thing is, is when there are pauses in a conversation; now pauses in a conversation are okay. Again, fractionation, letting her integrate what you said, you can have not just pauses to create ...
Ross: Here's a body posture. Whenever I've seen it, a woman has fucked me. Whenever. Brother Orion: Wow. Ross: When she's in the car, okay, hold that for now. Okay, you're in the driver's seat and she's over here in the right hand seat. If she tucks her legs up like that and turns towards you and she's got her legs tucked up like this, this totally turned toward you like this, so I'm sort of like got my legs tucked up underneath me, she's turned like this, you're going to get some.
Ross: Does everyone understand fractionation? Some people may not ... Brother Orion: Right. Well, you said what it was earlier, so ... Ross: Say it again. Some people ... Brother Orion: Push the stop, rewind. Fractionation is you take someone into and out of trance, or yes, you could say into and out of different depths of trance. So you get
Brother Orion: Yep. Audience: Laughter
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someone into a deep state, where they begin to focus on every word, and then you talk about how other conversations aren't like that, but then sometimes when you really listen ... So you take them in and out and it increases the depth of trance, very rapidly. Very rapidly. And also there's a pause that happens when a girl wants to kiss. She will stop talking; she will look right at you, and put her head forward a little bit, lean toward you, her focus fully on you and wait.
Audience: Laughter Brother Orion: "And finding it just as fresh, farm fresh ...” Audience: Laughter Brother Orion: "Imagine, as it is in this moment.” Ross: Yes. Audience: When, when you said like there's a pause and she's looking at you, even more specifically looking at your lips ...
Ross: And turn her face ... Brother Orion: Guys, fulfill your promise.
Brother Orion: Ooooh, nice, nice.
Audience: Laughter
Audience: I don't know ...
Brother Orion: Please, don't get a, don't, don't, don't get a woman turned on and then wimp out at the last second. It's just not fair.
Ross: You look at lips? Brother Orion: Yeah. She's looking at your lips.
Audience: Laughter
Ross: Yeah.
Brother 0nion: You know. God. I mean maybe, you know, maybe if she's like a, like a, a concert pianist and she's got really strong fingers, you know, to last her all night, you know, okay, you can do it with them. But the one, the one, some of them just don't have the manual dexterity to keep themselves happy the way that, that they're going to need to after this kind of patterning.
Brother Orion: Well, interestingly, dah, you're looking at her lips, too, to see if they're engorged with blood. That's cool. Audience: Guys do that, too, and I can tell usually. Brother Orion: Uh huh. Uh huh. ?: You're sighting the target ...
Audience: Laughter. Do you do those _____ ?
Ross: She has a lip on.
Ross: For enough batteries.
Brother Orion: She has a lip on. Nice, nice, nice. So, so something along the lines of ...
Brother Orion: Yeah. Stop, rewind. Okay, I'm going to talk, cause I really don't know which, which clues?
Audience: Responses from audience
?: Don't worry about it.
Brother Orion: I'm just going to run through it really quickly again so you guys can hear it one more time. Okay? And notice how similar it is to the first time I said it, I memorized this pattern. ”Has anyone ever given you a surprise kiss, like maybe as you're there, thinking about the worries and stress of your day, thinking about all the things that have happened? And suddenly a person can look deep into your eyes, understand your distress and take a chance with a surprise kiss that sends an electric thrill throughout your spine, throughout your body, that lifts you up like a bed of clouds and lets you feel that wondrous feeling. As you imagine a time in the future, it's like you can imagine a time in the future, say six months from now, reaching back to recapture the sweetness of that kiss and finding it just as fresh and magical as it is today. Cause that person was able to take a chance on you with a surprise kiss.” It'll set them up. Set them up and then knock them down.
Brother Orion: Okay, yeah. Where there's a pause in the conversation, where she leans forward, sorry, where she leans forward, where she's focused totally on you and where she's waiting, she's deliberately not saying it. It's like, "Oh, my turn to talk?" You know? There's another linguistic way I set it up. I talk about kiss. ”Have you ever had a person give you a surprise kiss? Like maybe you're there and you're thinking about all the worries of the day or all the hassles or problems? And suddenly, a person can lean forward and look deep in your eyes, understand your distress and give you a kiss that sends an electric thrill throughout your spine, throughout your whole body and just lift you up like a bed of clouds. Do you feel that pleasure, that enjoyment of that kiss? You go into a space where it's just, you feel so good. And as you continue to let that happen, you can imagine six months from now reaching back to recapture the sweetness of that kiss.”
Audience: Laughter
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Brother Orion: Okay? And knock them down. My god, if you say that kind of a pattern, kiss her afterwards ...
to demonstrate all these patterns. In fact, he's such a good teacher, if, with your, with your cooperation ... Brother Orion: Uh hmmm.
Ross: Is this fair? Is this fair? Yes.
Ross: I'm going to have you back later in the weekend, to teach some of these patterns.
Audience: Responses from audience. Absolutely. Brother Orion: What's not fair is not at least taking the chance. And I believe that, too. You know, a person, a person has to take a chance at that point, I think, And it's rigged. The game is rigged. You have to take a chance. Now women, and it's happened to a lot of guys I here, women will come on to you, will jump your bones, it happens, okay? Sorry. You know. This material might be outdated by other material. But, hey it doesn't happen a lot of the time and you got to take a chance. So, you, you can talk about kissing, you can talk about kissing in a lot of different ways. I think the blowjob pattern sets up those kinds of things that kiss.
Brother Orion: Great. I'd love to. And I can teach them very quickly, which might be helpful. Ross: Yeah. I think, in fact, I think we may train you at some point to, to be one of our front seminar guys, go out into the boondocks and do seminars for us? What do you think? Brother Orion: I could have fun. Ross: He's pretty good, huh? Audience: Applause Brother Orion: Are the boondocks ready for me? Audience: Applause
Ross: Now I'm going to show you a trick guys. Someone. asked about anchors. I'm going to show you a trick. Little Kim showed me this cause little Kim had it done to her by someone else. Here's an anchor I use. If I talk to a woman about sexual things, I'll make this face.
Ross: You know, like the Mormon missionaries? Brother Orion: Right. Ross: Who ride their bicycles with their ties ... Audience: Cheers from audience
Brother Orion: Like a rabbit.
Ross: Who peddle into town, set up the tent, you know?
Ross: What I'm doing is I'm biting my lower lip. Brother Orion: Urn.
Brother Orion: I have come to bring joy to, to the women of rural America.
Ross: So what, after I get the response from her, let's say I'm talking about the blowjob pattern and I see her getting hotter and hotter, I'll go ... And whenever I want her to go back into that state I'll just look at her and go ... I've been doing that to you, have you noticed?
Audience: _____ Laughter Brother Orion: I'm on a mission. Hallelujah. Can I hear it? Hallelujah. ?: _____ Central Asia with that _____ .
Audience: Laughter
Audience: Response from audience.
Brother Orion: You are relentless.
Ross: Central Asia?
Ross: It's an easy thing to do. So you don't have to do all these touch anchors or just do a little facial expression,
Audience: Let the Mormons send him out. Brother Orion: Right. Audience: Response from audience.
Brother Orion: Yeah.
Brother Orion: We are not the Mormons ...
Ross: I'm sorry.
Audience: Response from audience
Brother Orion: One thing I forgot to say is that the, is that the, the blammo pattern also sets you up for closes pretty good. And when I've been able to get the blammo pattern off and have them really get into it, my success rate is very, very high.
Ross: We're going to start you out slow. You're going to Kosovo. Audience: Laughter Brother Orion: Oh god.
Ross: Now, by the way. These patterns, we're going
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Audience: Laughter
Brother Orion: You can describe the process as you do it.
Brother Orion: No, I'm not going to the Central, Central Asia. Enough with the Mormons. They don't need the whore man's to ... Physical close. Another brother used to work a lot with animals. Now, I haven't seen this movie the, what is it - THE HORSE WHISPERER? I really want to see it. There's some great ideas about this guy had about how to communicate with animals. But it's something that a lot of guys who are, who are raised on farms are like, "Yeah, of course, you know, you have to approach animals with respect to their space.” And you have to, you have to have a certain congruency. You have to, which means that your words and behavior match your action. Or match your, you know, your intention. Everything is lined up. So when you move towards a woman with congruency, you're not, you're not tentative, although test closes are good. You can move into her space to make a point. You can say, "God, at sometimes people come to really close to you, into your space and it feels really good.” Or you can just do it, to whisper to them, you can use their space around them and start to get comfortable and work with that.
Ross: The best way to have someone undergo a process with you is to describe it. Brother Orion: Uh hmm. Ross: As part of an interesting topic about "Isn't it interesting how things happen.” "Aren't things interesting? You know what? You can learn a lot this way.” Brother Orion: And you can describe things as you're doing them. Ross: Right. Brother Orion: And that can intensify the actual experience they're having. Ross: And the other thing you can do is if she says, "We shouldn't be doing this" you describe what you're not doing as you're doing it. You go ... Brother Orion: Right. Ross: "You're right. I shouldn't be lifting up your blouse ...”
Ross: Here's a pattern, I'm coming up with it as he says it. He said personal space, I really, I immediately went into patternland. So you're there, back at your place or her place, and you're ready to test this to see if she's ready. You go, "You know where I think you learn a lot about people?" Have you heard this theme before? "You learn a lot by seeing what their personal space is and how that changes according to how comfortable they feel. Like you ever been with someone ...” point away from yourself You always, when you describe something you don't want her to experience with you, point away from yourself "You ever been with someone and you're not quite that comfortable and you don't want them that close? So, you let them know through your body language that you want them to stay a distance? But then, you ever been with someone and you just feel magnetically drawn to this person? You know you're going to get really close? And so, when they move into your space, it's like, hmmm, you want more, you want it closer and closer.”
Audience: Laughter Ross: "And licking your beautiful breasts. I'm not putting my finger down into your pants.” And, I'm serious. Have you done this before? Audience: Yes Brother Orion: You bet I have. Ross: Yeah, it works. Just say, "Exactly, you're right, I'm not, I should not be doing this. You should not be feeling the intense pleasure ...” Brother Orion: Okay. Ross: Go ahead. Brother Orion: Okay. Let me go ahead, I am going ... So, moving, okay, using her personal space, testing her personal space, again, angles are good; 45 degree angle, 30 degree angle. Coming into her side you can kiss her ear, her cheek, you can, you don't have to go directly face-on to kiss her, her on the lips. It could be ballsy, but it can also be confrontational. So, you want to, you want to watch you're doing with space. You want to experiment with different things. And there's a certain amount of, even though you're tentative, you're moving at an angle, you're congruent. You know what you're doing. And you can also do things like brush the back of her hair, of her neck and say, "You know, the Japanese think that
Brother Orion: Oooh. Ross: See how comfortable she is with you getting close to her. And if she's real comfortable, you go ... Brother Orion: Yeah. Ross: "That could be a sign.”
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the back of a woman's body is the most sensuous part of her. And I don't know if it's because of all those fine nerve endings.” I'm talking a little quickly here guys so you can get all the information.
a forehead kiss. Audience: Response from audience. Brother Orion: Okay. There's another, there's some other things you can do here. And one of the really good ones is to g et right into massage. I think massage rocks. I want to learn more and more about it. I think it's worth learning about. Books out there, yeah, video tapes out there, classes out there. You know, classes at local adult education centers where you can take a class that's going to be mostly women and inexpensive.
Ross: Ben, you can slow down. That just means the time on the tape, not the time you can talk. Brother Orion: Okay. Swap it over. Oh great, good to know. ”And I don't know if, if it's the most sensuous part of a woman's body because that's where the nerve endings are or if it's because they believe that's where the energy enters your body or if it's because of all those soft, fine hairs or because they think it's so attractive, you know, the low-cut kimonos where you see that beautiful back of a woman's neck.” And you can be brushing the back of her neck "Or maybe it's because you can't tell whether it's the soft brush of a person's fingers or the soft brush of their lips, the kiss, the touch of your tongue.” Now, a little bit underhanded here.
BREAK IN TAPE
Brother Orion: ... that you move. You carry tension in a, everybody who carries tension in a different way. And talk a little bit about the way she does carry tension in her body.
Ross: It works. Is, I, I've done this one. Is reach out for a woman, just brush her, her cheek ... Brother Orion: Ummm.
BREAK IN TAPE
Ross: with the side of your hand. If she does this, she's ready.
Brother Orion: It's physiological. And of course it why back, why shoulder rubs are one of the most popular places to massage. You, and you point, you say, "You carry tension and you store it right there.” And you lean over and you start to massage it. And they almost always let you. Now, this, the reason I love this, I love this, I love this, is that I can do it when I'm out at a coffee shop. She doesn't have to be home with me. And I can do it and they, I don't think they've ever said no. They might have let me go for ten or twenty seconds and then back off, but that's only once or twice, and I've done it a lot. They almost always let you give them a massage. You can have them close their eyes, you can do some really heavy trance stuff when they've got their eyes closed and you're massaging them. ”You know, some people think, some people, as they experience a massage and really feel the pleasure of a massage from someone who really knows how to give a wonderful massage cause they've trained so well. They're able to feel a certain inside or associate a certain color with that warmth. So, for example, if you were to think of a color that you associate with the warmth of those relaxing, wonderful feeling, what color might you tell me? Red. And as you see that red getting bigger and brighter and maybe even wrapping itself around you like a pair of warm but strong arms, some people can even allow those thoughts to just penetrate your and put that red
Brother Orion: Man, I learned that ... Ross: That's a real good one. Brother Orion: I learned that when I was in college from a 13-year-old kid. I was blown away. This kid said to me, "Hey, just go ahead and put your, " or, you know the other thing you can do is grab the back of their neck and put your hand underneath their ear. Cup it, yeah, very, very powerful. And if they've, if they're down with that ... Ross: _____ Brother Orion: You know, so, so, no please, please. You actually, you put your thumb on the front of their ear, you put the rest, your forefingers cupped behind the back of their head, base of their skull. And you move them forward. Or if they're turned away from you, you can take one finger, brush it along the edge of their chin, and move it over to you. And if they're moving, they're following your lead, their lips are coming night to your lips, and boom. Ross: Another thing you do is, you take their head in your hands and you kiss the top of their forehead, you kiss them on the forehead, and then as you go to move, if, as you go to kiss their forehead they close their eyes and do this, you know they want more than
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deep inside you.” Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. And you light them up. You really, I mean, it is, it is super. It's one thing to give someone a massage and have them just sit there, even if you're a really good masseuse, but it's another thing to talk them about the experience and connect it up with all kinds of sexual thoughts, pleasurable feelings, intensity, the sound of your voice. All kinds of wonderful things that happen when you use massage effectively. Go ahead.
Ross: And, and so she couldn't do it, so she starts going down on him, and he was so shocked, he couldn't have any physiological response. It's, it's fairly common that you're going to be so shocked the first time this works, you're going to go, "Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah.”
?: Another thing about massage is, you can start to use breathing cause breathing is very powerful ...
Audience: laughter
Audience: Laughter Ross: And then you're going to think, "Oh my god, Ross was right.”
Ross: "Oh my god, Ross.”
Brother Orion: Ummm
Audience: Laughter
?: as it changes states of the body. And what I've noticed with women as they're having some resistance, not to, not to the massage, but the resistance to relaxing the massage, is to start to coach them in breathing, such as to breathe ...
Ross: "Was right.” Brother Orion: So, one thing I want to add to that ... Ross: Does this feel right to you? Audience: Laughter
Brother Orion: Ahhh.
Brother Orion: Is just something, it's sort of random that came to me is that a lot of people are wondering, well, you know, wonder when they see somebody who's getting really good results, has he always been getting these kinds results before he got this material, is it his looks, is it how ... ? But I'm telling you, for myself, I was not getting the results before I had these skills that I'm getting now. Absolutely not. And I've seen it happen with a lot of people who are just not getting results. And they studied it and they applied
?: ... tense up and relax. And if you think about that breathing process, where else in the breathing process of breathing in, tensing and relaxing occur? Audience: Response from audience Ross: Let me get off, let me get off ... Brother Orion & Audience: Laughter Ross: And say this. About half the time none of this would necessary, cause they're going to jump on you. Half the time, sex ...
themselves and they made a commitment to improve this part of your life, which is a really important part. And improve that part of a lot of women's lives. Or maybe just that one special one.
?: You're off of ... Ross: Are the microphones off? ?: It was.
?: That sacred space.
Ross: Oh, I'm sorry. You're correct. I'm sorry. About half the time, none of this will be necessary cause they're going to jump on you. The first few times you do this and it happens, you may be so -surprised you're not going to be able to act on it. The famous story we like to tell is the guy who tried this on a woman and, at a church social. And they go out to the parking lot and she says, "I want you to fuck me right now.” He goes, "Huh?"
Brother Orion: That sacred space inside. Progressive massage is really good because it, when you're out at the coffee shop and you're giving her a massage like this, you can start talking about, "Gosh, it's so much nicer to give someone a massage when they're lying down or, you know, I give really great full body massages" that kind of thing. Yes. Audience: Okay. You, you're in a relationship with a woman that's ...
Brother Orion & Audience: Laughter Ross: She says, "Put me on the hood of my car and fuck me right now.” He says, "But, but the pastor's going to be out any second.” She said, "I don't want to fuck the pastor, I want to fuck you.”
Brother Orion: Okay. That's sort of not what I'm talking about, but okay. Audience: Response from audience Audience: ... did you, did you move into quickly and
Audience: Laughter
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then you realized, you know, she's not your type, you don't like her that much. And, you know, how do you move out of that one?
Major Mark: Okay, sure. Brother Orion: He, he, Major Mark has a pattern basically the lock-it pattern, which allows you to have closure to the, to the, to the relationship, to leave relationship and still let them have all those good feelings and resources that you've let them have like a treasure, like a gift, life a magic spell for them and carry around for the rest of their life.
Brother Orion: You want a different kind of close. Audience: Damaging her. Brother Orion: You're asking about a different kind of close than I'm teaching here. But okay. Ross: I'll tell you what. That's an excellent question but it's ...
Ross: A quick answer though is the best way to avoid harming them or damaging them in your world is to never at any point do anything that is damaging to them. It's really that simple.
Brother Orion: I'll, let me, let me just say a couple of things about it, then I'm move in, move out of it. I think you should find out that information before you get into a relationship with her. Okay? I really do. I think you should, that's why the handwriting analysis cards are great. I don't think you should get in relationships with people you don't want to be in relationships with. However, you can structure it and let somebody know in different ways how you want the relationship to go and what kind of experience ... Major Mark talks about, you know, having it structured as you're the person who's mad, bad and dangerous to be with, and who's not going to be there. You know? And, so it's, it's up to you what you communicate, but I think you have, you do have a responsibility to, to let somebody know ultimately, you know, what's, what your intention is. You know, in terms of, of what kind of relationship you want to have them. Especially with somebody who, that you start to get involved in because a lot of people are going to make assumptions if you don't tell them.
Brother Orion: You don't seem convinced. Audience: Well, if you're not there and _____ the greatest thing that ever happened. Ross: Well, you're not responsible for everything that she thinks, feels, does, whatever, okay? Now, if you show her an aspect of masculinity, if show her a type of man that turns out to be something she's wanted, needed, dreamt of for a long time, it's not your responsibility to now hang around forever so that she can continue to have this. Brother Orion: Let me just say one more thing. Ross: It doesn't make sense. Brother Orion: Which is that, which is that if they've left behind the best thing that's ever happened to them, you know, well, is that such a bad thing? Audience: Response from audience
?: The lock-it pattern.
Brother Orion: Well, I'm sorry, but I don't mean, I don't mean, I'm not saying whether they left or you left, but whether they had something that was wonderful and it was the best thing that's ever happened to them, they've learned something about what's possible. And it think that, that a lot of women have available to them resources to if they can't find the kind of person they want to be with to, to create change in people to have, women do it, project boyfriends, you know? I don't want to be somebody's project boyfriend anymore. But there are a lot of guys out there who are perfectly willing to get adapted into the kind of man that a girl wants him to be, wants him to be.
Major Mark: You have an obligation to be honest with them, you know, about who you are and what you're up to. And yet the obligation to respect them enough to allow them to make their own decision and to respect the decision they come to. Okay? Now the fact is, because women are people, they are a lot of them who are remarkably similar to us in their running around and they're looking for different levels of adventure at different types or different places in their life. Brother Orion: Yep. And I'm going to ask you also if you, if you don't mind to, to go through the lock-it pattern if you get some time to do that ...
Audience: Quick comment here. As far as damaging, I was very lucky early on when I was in a relationship I didn't want to be, was I was learning NLP and what I did is I literally just took the anchor that she had set to me and I set it to the concept of finding even more of what she was looking for in ways she hadn't even
Major Mark: Sure Ross: That's what I want you to do, Major Mark, is do an hour or so on structuring your seductions so that you remain in control of the situation rather than meet some _____ .
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thought of yet.
Ross: There's a difference between, "Ummm, don't, don't" and "DON'T.” Okay? Don't means you stop, but "Umm, ummm ...”
Brother Orion: Yep. Yep. Audience: So that way she went from he's a great guy but what else is out there that I haven't considered and I haven't experienced? And so she started to get passionate off looking for that, that left me off the hook, I was still a great guy, and her life was improving.
Brother Orion: So, and, and women are not that responsive physically or, or verbally in terms of they can be really enjoying it, getting off on it, but they just don't feel comfortable expressing it, so they're going to let you keep going. I had this, I had this experience Just recently, something that Metaman and I have been working with is just going for it, you know, an initial talk and just, you know, starting to touch them in ways that turn them on and, you know, even if it's a crowded room, a lot of times they'll let you go for it. If it's feeling good and it fits in their, you know, value set ...
Brother Orion: Yep. Ross: Just because what she had with you doesn't mean that her ability to experience these kinds of feelings again in her life is over. In fact, that you structured it the right way, she'll draw the conclusion that she can experience this again in different and new and wonderful ways.
Audience: _____ sparks off the guardrail.
Brother Orion: Yep. I, I want to move on ...
Brother Orion: Yep. Put the fun meter to the red line and make sparks off the guardrail.
Ross: Let's move on ...
Major Mark: It's very erotic to, to experience the personal touch in a public place.
Brother Orion: Which is great that the invitation, you know, is, can often be something as simple as, you know, "Do you want to come back to my house for a poem? I write great poems.” "Do you want to come back to my place for a massage?" I don't say it like that, "Do you want to?" But there's lots of ways to use presuppositions of "How much fun would you have coming back to my house for a massage?" Or you can take them by their hands at some point and lead them, if they're sitting on your couch, you can just absolutely reach out and grab their hands and if they follow you, they're going to follow you.
Brother Orion: And if I, if I see a woman's got, got a _____ , got, has a, has, oh, physiological responses like goosebumps, I'll ratify them. Ratify another technical term. But if you, if you express that you recognize the physiological change in a woman that's an indication of trance or, or excitement, it intensifies it. ”Oh, oh, I notice those goosebumps. I love giving a woman goosebumps in public.” Those goosebumps get bigger quick, or "Oooh, you're shaking. Wow, you must really be enjoying this.” These kinds of things. You, you ratify the experience that you're getting. So, the other one that somebody just gave me this weekend, I, somebody's got to tell me who it was, who gave this, somebody's got to raise their hand, but "Let's go for a walk. Gee, where are we going to walk to?" You've got to give me five on that one. That's awesome. ”Where are we going to take a walk to?" "The cafe near my house.” "Hmm, we're going to take a walk.” Gee, we'll just start walking and walk to my house.
Ross: Ask them, "Is this something you're ready to act on?" Brother Orion: Oooh, "Is this something you're ready ...” Yeah, that was a great one. Somebody said something about ... Audience: Responses from audience. Ross: No, first thing, express, they'll express that, , , "No, you know, I'm, I'm very attracted to you.” Brother Orion: "Is that, is this something you'd like ...”
?: What happened, what happened was like, I met this, this girl for coffee, I always have them meet me near my house.
Ross: That's something _____ you want to act on. Now.
Brother Orion: Right.
Brother Orion: Oooh, right. Now. Keep going. You know, you can do things physically until she expresses that you don't want her to do them. If you're giving her a massage and she's letting you keep going, but, when she says stop, you stop. You absolutely stop.
?: And, you know, I develop a rapport and everything is going really well. I say, you know, after, I said, "Let's go for a walk.” And I just walked her right back to my place. Brother Orion: Yep
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?: I find that if you ask, you're opening yourself up to a problem.
stuff can often be fun with it, with another guy, you know, hanging out with another guy.
Brother Orion: And, I've, I've been hanging out with some guys, you know, who aren't into this stuff and, and I've been talking to girls and they say, "Man, you could have asked her back to her, back to your place, you know, like right then.” And I was like, "Really? I mean I got her phone number and the date.” But man, they're right. You know, a lot of the times if you ask them back to your place, you know, if you've been doing this stuff right, they're going to go for it. If, and especially if you structure it right, if you take them by the hand and, you know, and if you are having fun with it. And a lot of times you'll get some resistance and you can keep going. Just because they say, "No" you know, they might just be convincing themselves, they might just need some help. Okay? All right. Well a couple of people had questions.
Yates: This is the end of Side 11 of the Ross Jeffries Basic Speed Seduction Seminar.
Ross: Dr. Yates has a comment. Brother Orion: Go. Yates: When you're talking about closing, what's your processes, all the ones that have _____ , great _____ at what a guy out in L. A. _____ . You know to, he met the girl and they went out to dinner and over dinner he says, you know, "What has to happen, you know, before us to, you know, get more intimate.” She says, "Well normally, you know, before I go to bed with a guy, " says, says, "I have to see him at least six times.” And he says, "Oooh, so if I go to the bathroom and come back, that's twice.” Ross/Brother Orion/Audience: Laughter Brother Orion: Oh. Wow. Yates: And he, he saw her at work over the next couple of days and every time he saw her, he says, "That three times.” Audience: Laughter Yates: "That's four times.” Brother Orion: Wow. Yates: And she says, "And for you I might make an exception.” Audience: laughter. Brother Orion: Yeah. Ross: That kind of cocky, outrageous attitude, cocky, outrageous, engaging, outgoing. Brother Orion: Yep. Ross: We'll, we'll do an exercise with you. Brother Orion: One other thing is that, is that this
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she wanted it, her friend wanted to give it to her, and eventually she traced it down and got it, which was great, I was going to send it to her. And she sent me an e-mail. I was wondering, you know, what kind of response is going to happen here. She sent me an email and she's, she's saying, "Wow, it was a great article. I really liked it.” She's saying things like, like, "You know, I was wondering if it was, you know, because of what, what you were saying because I think you're really a cool guy, but ...” And she started saying all these things about my personality like solid things about what I've done in my life, the kind of adventurous life I've lived. And saying, you know, "Even if it wasn't for this, I'd still find you really interesting and attractive.” She's not saying that that, that it didn't work on her, but she is saying, you know, she's, she's rationalizing, she's giving herself all these reasons to have the intense response that she had and it's really cool. And she says, and she says things like, things like, "Now, I don't mean to, you know, I don't mean to seem, I don't know, too ego, too egotistical or something, but I'd be, I'd love to have a chance to see you again.” It was very flattering. Yeah, she's like, she's like almost self-deprecating in her, in her, you know, if, you know, "I don't mean to, I'm not the kind of woman, " what did she say? "I'm not the kind of woman who wants to entrap you" or something like that. Or you know, "tie you down, but it would just be wonderful to get together with you sometime.”
Tape 6 – Side 2 Yates: This is Side 12 of the Ross Jeffries Basic Speed Seduction Seminar
Brother Orion: One other thing is, is that this stuff can often be fun with it, with another guy, you know, hanging out with another guy, big groups of people you're not going to get a response, and when you want to do it, a lot of times it's all about going out on your own. You know? Not hanging out with other people or to impress your friends, but going out by yourself. And I recently had an experience when I was with, with Brother Kamal over at his place and we had a couple of girls there. One of them was not into the fact that I was getting as far with her friend as I was. She was very apprehensive about that whole situation. I find it very interesting, but her friend was really getting into it and like we were trying to be discreet, you know. She was getting turned on. I'm at the other end of the couch, her friend would lean forward and I'd move back. So anyway, I said, I whispered in her ear, "I'm going downstairs. I want you to come with me.” And I grabbed her hand and she let go. And so I just kept walking. I came back and I was cold. I just, you know, there's your space, there's my space. She went upstairs and she, she went upstairs and we were watching a videotape and there was a dog barking. And you know, we'd, we'd seen the whole place. Obviously, the TV has the dog on it. She goes, "Do you have a dog up here? Is there a dog up here?" There will be.
Ross: "I'm not the sort of woman who would throw myself at you, but having said that ...” Brother Orion: Right.
Audience: Laughter
Audience: Laughter
Brother Orion: Okay?
?: _____ I don't know if this is real or _____ your trance subject or something. Remember the name she used?
Ross: And now, there's a real interesting p. s. to this story. You wound up telling her what you did.
Brother Orion: I don't think she said trance subjects, but ...
Brother Orion: Yes. Ross: And what was her response? Remember that ...
?: It was a different name, it was really cute. She basically said, "You know, I know you're doing this to me, but I don't care because it feels ...”
Brother Orion: Oh, god. She sent me a great e-mail. She loved, okay, first of all, she said to me at the end of the night, she said, "I have never even kissed a guy that I haven't known for at least six months.” Okay? She sends me an e-mail, okay, and her friend knew about the, knew about the article, the ROLLING STONE article, and, and, cause Kamal had given it to her. And her friend wouldn't tell her about it. So I figured why am I going to tell her about it. Her friend doesn't want to tell her, fine. But at the end,
Brother Orion: Right. ?: " ... so good ...” Brother Orion: Right. ?: " ... I'm going along for the ride.” Brother Orion: Exactly. Exactly. And the part that I loved is where, you know, she's she's just giving
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herself all of the reasons to feel all the feelings that she feels. And she specifically says that she's not trying to tie me down or get me into a relationship. She just wants to see me again. Okay?
Ross: Okay. Well, let's take a 10 minute break.
BREAK IN TAPE
Audience: Response from audience Brother Orion: How, how about if I get a rousing round of applause.
Ross: Let me just say, I don't install anything into anyone. This is NLP mythology concerning _____ to intimidate you _____ . Someone said earlier that he was concerned that I installed something in someone that was not useful or against their values. Well let me just say, this is bullshit. This whole thing about installing things, this is what NLP trainers use to intimidate you into thinking, "You better not fuck with me or I'll install impotence or whatever, you know.” As a matter of fact, the only thing I can do is, any hypnotist can do, is structure opportunities for your unconscious to respond. If your unconscious doesn't like what I'm offering, guess what? It has no power to affect you in any way. If it does like it, it will pick it up and run with it. Okay? And also I know, one of the things about me is I don't offer a set of values for you to operate off of. All I do is put a set of tools out on the table. To the extent that they conflict with your values, don't pick them up. To the extent, the thing is you may not know how far you can go with it, so you don't know whether it conflicts or not. But I'm not attempting to tell you that you should use this to be, you know, a sexual shark, swimming to the waters of singledom, gobbling down every morsel you see. Nor am I telling you to find that one monogamous, happy relationship. All I'm saying is these are tools, go out and use them. Okay? Now, we're going to bring up Major Mark.
Audience: Applause Ross: Arousing and arousing ... ?: Arousing applause. Brother Orion: Aaah. Ross: Aaah, you're always playing. We want to make sure that we edit out the reference to the ROLLING STONE article because it'll confuse people as to when this set came out. Okay? What do I keep hearing? Beep, beep? Audience: Response from audience. Ross: What is beep, beep? Audience: Response from audience. Ross: Who's going beep, beep? Audience: Somebody's cell phone or battery's low. Ross: Okay, that's all right. That's not, I was just wondering what the hell that was. Audience: It's a time bomb. Responses from audience. Ross: Ah, I don't have one ... Audience: Yeah, I'm going to get one. Ross: Ah, still on the _____ , ROLLING STONE is still on the newsstands.
Audience: Yes. Ross: Major Mark is going to take you through the end of the day. Major Mark is going to go at nuclear warp speed so, oh, you had a question. Yes, ask.
?: Hold it, Ross. Library, library Audience: Responses from audience
Audience: Well, two questions.
?: February 98?
Ross: Ask.
Ross: It was February and I think its issue 718.
Audience: Number one I wanted to ask you about setting up themes to get the pattern ...
Audience: Responses from audience Ross: Kate Winslet on the cover. Audience: Responses from audience.
Ross: Uh huh. What specifically about that did you not understand?
Ross: I don't want to get into it. They just ...
Audience: How to go about it.
Audience: Responses from audience.
Ross: Okay. It's a process of asking myself questions. It's a process for you of asking yourself questions. Okay? Now the question you want to ask yourself is, you pick a topic and you say, "What's interesting to me about this?" Okay? That's the first question. You
Ross: Time? ?: It took two hours.
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write whatever answer you get down. And then you write, "How does that happen?" Then you write that down. And that answer to that question, the description of how that happens, is what you will use for your pattern. Does that make sense?
Audience: It means ready to accept something. Ross: That's one state of mind. What would be another of mind? How about fascination? Is that a state of mind? Audience: Yeah.
Audience: Yeah.
Ross: Sure. Okay. If I wanted you to be fascinated, I could give you reasons. I should go, "The reason you should be fascinated with me ...” What's your name?
Ross: Now the next question you ask is, "What else is interesting to me about this?" And then you just run it through the same thing. ”How does that happen?" And you get another description. Do you get it? Does that make sense? Does it? I'm not hearing a strong, congruent yes. Does it make sense?
Audience: Amos. Ross: Amos. ”The reason you should be fascinated with me is what I'm going to tell you is really going to help you improve your life and you're going to get lots of women. So that's why you should be fascinated with me.” Okay? That's not what a pattern is. A pattern describes the process of how someone becomes fascinated. So I would say, instead of giving you reasons, trying to talk you into it, telling you what I like about it or what you should like about it. Instead, I'm going to describe how it happens. I'd say, "You know, you ever been totally fascinated with someone? You ever meet some and he continued to listen carefully and really look? It's as if the rest of the environment just disappears and your entire world becomes this face, this voice, this learning experience you're continuing to have. So that the more you just keep looking, Amos, it's almost as if the rest of the environment disappears itself and your entire world is what you're experiencing right now. And the more you continue to go into that place, all the way into that place, I find, in my experience, when I just let go, all the way, all the way deep inside.” Now, did you go into that state?
Audience: What you're saying is first I pick a topic ... Ross: Yes. Audience: And then I'm supposed to go, "What is interesting about the topic?" Ross: Yeah. Audience: What do I find ... Ross: Yeah. Audience: that I ... Ross: Right. Audience: And I describe-the process ... Ross: The way you describe the process is by asking yourself the question, "How does that happen?" "How does that happen?" Okay? Audience: And I describe everything that I like about it. Ross: No, I didn't say like. You're confusion is with the word like. I didn't say like. I said, "How does that happen?" Okay? I'm not talking about preferences. This is not about getting people to decide whether they're going to make a choice or not. Okay? This is about discovering what a process is. Okay. Listen to me. Here's where your confusion is. You still think that I'm trying to give people reasons to do something. You still think that patterns are about coming up for reasons to convince someone to make a rational decision to do something you want them to do. That's not what it's about. When I describe something for you, what it does is, it installs a state. Now let's talk about this. Do you understand what I mean by state of mind?
Amos: Yes Ross: Did you go in because I gave you reasons to do it? Okay. So what you're misunderstanding was, you thought it was important to say, to ask, what you like about that. No, you want to describe the process. The question is how does that happen? You understand? Now is it cleared up? Amos: Yes Ross: Okay, good. We need to give him, for having the courage to ask a question, we need to give him some kind of prize. So, do you have THE UNSTOPPABLE CONFIDENCE tapes? Amos: Yes
Audience: Yes
Ross: You do. Do you have Kim's SUPER TONALITY tape?
Ross: What do you think I mean by state of mind? Can you give me an example of a state of mind?
Amos: No.
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Ross: Okay, we'll give, give him Kim's SUPER TONALITY tape. I'll pay for it, Bunny, so you can get your commission. Okay. I meant it when I said ask questions; I meant it. Now what was your second question? Real quick cause Major Mark's chomping at the bit.
Audience: Cheers and applause.
Amos: Okay.
Major Mark: Okay, okay. And now for something completely different. Okay, okay? What I want to talk about is something, this may have been touched on before, I don't know. I took a major nap yesterday, so I'm not entirely sure what went on before. But something that keeps coming up is the concept is how does this stuff work? Why does this stuff work? When will it work for me? I want to explain something that is both very, very simple and extremely powerful. Okay? And this is in line with what I do because I mentioned yesterday I'm really, really lazy. Okay? I'm also really, really impatient, okay? Everything I want, I want now. If I've gone, to all the trouble of taking 5 or 5 nanoseconds to come up with an idea, I want it now. Right? You know? Why wait? So, what I'm going to be talking about are things that are both simple and powerful. They apply to everything that you're going to be learning throughout the basic course. They're going to apply to everything that you're going to be doing for the rest of your life. Okay? So let's start with something really, really simple. And that is words have power. Words themselves are sources of enormous power. Okay? We're all wired in a certain way. We all have a predisposition towards language use. Every human brain, not the mind, the mind is the part that's thinking and talking, making decisions, but there's also this piece of flesh that house all these neurons fining away here and there's all these crossconnections. That's the brain. And the brain accommodates what are known as deep language structures. That is, we instinctively look for ways to categorize and express that which we experience as language. So while, if you grow up in a certain part of Europe, you start out speaking French before you do anything else. Okay? You grow up here, you start out speaking English, maybe, depending on where you live. Okay? Or you grow up in China, you're speaking Chinese, but you grow up using language. Why is this? It's because we need a way to structure our experience of reality. Now there's lots of folklore floating around like how many Eskimo words are there for snow? Well, depending on which exp ert you talk to, it's anywhere from a lot to a whole lot. Okay? But they have, they have lots of different words to talk about various specific things. Most of the time when we use a word, we're working with a consensual or a common definition. Okay? So if I say chair, you all
Major Mark: I always love these first parts of the presentations. You know, the wild applause, the screaming and all that, you know? Audience: Laughter
Audience: Laughter. Amos: _____ visualization on the pyramid. Now I can see a pyramid but part of it was light, part of it was dark and it was absolutely no color. Ross: Okay. You want to change that real fast? It'll take me 30 seconds. May I cut into your time? Can you see the pyramid now? Amos: Yes. Ross: Okay. Put your eyes at a 45 degree angle. Look up, look, put your eyelids up at a 45 degree angle. Now you have it, your eyelids. Take a deep breath and with your lips blow the color into the pyramid. So see the color going into the pyramid with your breath. Inhale again. Now blow that color out through your breath into the pyramid. You notice how that begins to help? Amos: Yes. The side that's dark is getting lighter. Ross: Exactly. Okay. So learn to control your own dials. Okay. I'm going to bring up Major Mark. It's my honor and pleasure to bring up the person who has so influenced my thinking. You going to give him this one or mike him up, cause I'm going to sit down. It's his stage. Major Mark: Actually I prefer that one cause I live to wave ... Ross: Okay. Major Mark: around a lot. Ross: So let's ... Audience: Laughter
BREAK IN TAPE
Audience: Applause Major Mark: You looked very good in tux. Ross: I looked good in my tux. Okay, ladies and gentlemen, Major Mark.
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know roughly what a chair is. You don't know which style of chair I'm referring to. It could be a Queen Anne antique okay? It could be one of these utilitarian chairs; it could be anything okay? You don't know which chair I'm talking about; it's not specific, but you've got a concept of chairness. Okay? So we can start to use these very basic concepts to communicate one another. It's what enables us to join the information and the knowledge that we have to work together and to benefit us all. Okay? Well sometimes it's beneficial to come up with entirely new words. Popular culture does this all the time. We do it all the time. We've got a word that we call google. Okay? Bow many people know what google is? Okay. A little over half google is that state that you are in when you no longer give a shit about self-confidence and instead you're just going out to get the maximum benefit and pleasure out of each and every moment in your life. Okay? Self-confidence is no longer necessary because if you have google, you're automatically moving towards maximizing your experience of life. So we can invent new things, but if it didn't exist before, if it didn't have a name before, how is it that when we come up with this word, all of a sudden it's real, all of a sudden it's true? It's because there's a very simple process that is part of these deep structures I'm talking about that we go through. Each and every one of us. It's the way we're wired. Okay? He was talking earlier about something I like to talk about a lot, which is forget outcomes, forget specific outcomes. Instead look for very predictable structures that everyone has that you can get, you can use to get what you want. Okay? So, when we name a thing, we make it real. If you know the name of something, it exists. And you can convince someone else that it exists as well. As you begin to describe it, it comes to life. Think about this. Okay? If I say chair, you go, okay, yeah chair, I got it. And I go, well, aluminum chair, roughly three and a half feet tall, it's got a green fabric pillow on it, maybe a red leather back. Okay? And it's sitting three feet to you left oriented 45 degrees off towards the north. Well all of a sudden you have a much better idea about it. Okay? If I say can you rememb er a vacation spot? Ooh, yeah, they can. Well maybe it was at the beach. And on that beach you can feel white sand compressing from my, underneath each and every step. You can feel the onshore breeze with that tang of salt air, the birds crying overhead, the rustle of the palm fronds, the smell of the coconut oil is drifting on down the beach, the snap of the bikini string as she unfastens to roll over. Okay? Oh, yeah, it's getting better and better, isn't it?
Audience: Laughter Major Mark: It's becoming real because you're using language in a very powerful way. Okay? Now, what we aim at, what we talk about a lot is the way in which you use language structures to create a beneficial reality, a very pleasant reality. Okay? Is this the only thing that we do? No. The reason we're in this line of work is that each and every person in this room has, at some in their life, used language in a bad way. Okay? Let me give you an example. There's something I was working on the plane as we were coming up here. I have these interests and I have these obsessions and I have these projects. Okay? Ooh, they all came real, oh god. Okay. What I'm working on these days is how to take bad things and turn them into powerful good things. Okay? Cause I get, I have a therapeutic practice. Okay? And it's because I'm hooked on talking to women and I'm really lazy and I only do things I get paid for. Okay? Audience: Laughter Major Mark: So, what better line of work for a guy like me than to have women pay me to listen to them discover their innermost secrets and make them feel wonderful. Okay? It's a good job. Audience: Laughter Major Mark: But, people come to me and they have desires and behaviors that are not acting in their best interests. There's this thing we have, back up, back up, back up. Rewind. Thank you, Ben. All of us are capable of going in and out of trance. We do it all the time. Okay? That's why I work as a hypnotist and the easiest thing in the world for me to do is to teach people how to go into trance, cause all I have to do is teach them how to recognize how they've been going into trance all their life and then say, "Now, do it again and listen carefully as I explain something.” Okay? That's it. Okay? At 150 bucks an hour all day, every day, right? So, there's this thing, people go into trance all the time, they do it outside their conscious awareness, they do it repeatedly. Now there are good trances, like when you daydream about something wonderful and you emerge from this daydream feeling relaxed, refreshed, feeling great, new ideas about possibilities in your life. There's this thing called pathological trance. A pathological trance is a belief, a behavior, a mindset, an attitude that acts in conjunction with other things like this to limit your choices. Okay? Now let me give you a really good example. Okay? There's this thing called a compulsion and a compulsion is defined as an irresistible urge to perform an unnatural act.
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Audience: Laughter
that fucker up?
Major Mark: Every time I talk about this, sheep get into the conversation.
Audience: Laughter Major Mark: All right? Sounds good. Let's look at another one, another example of sloppy, sloppy language. Okay? Ooh, ooh, ooh, this is one of my ail-time favorites. Constraint. A constraint, well it means many things, but one possible meaning is a repression of one's own feelings, behaviors or actions. Okay. I used to do a lot of work with engineers; I used to be an engineer, spent 18 years in the software industry. This is after I stopped shooting people and before I started healing people. Okay?
Audience: Laughter Major Mark: I don't know what it is. Okay? Okay. Choices of language and here, ooh, I didn't spell that correctly. Just assume this says irresistible. Okay? An irresistible urge to perform an unnatural act. Okay? So, if we were to look at this, many people think that compulsions are bad. People come to me all the time, they say, "How dare you work with compulsions. These are bad things, bad, bad, bad, bad.” Okay? People say that a lot when I'm talking. Okay? What we have here is a failure to understand things clearly. You look for perjoratives. Perjoratives are negative connotations that are applied to words. Which if you accepted that concept as true would tell you that a word, a word exists, it refers to something that's real as you u se it in description that brings it to life, well you could start doing bad things. And that would be a bad thing. Look at this one right here. Unnatural act. What does unnatural mean? Well, in the popular parlance, unnatural means deviant. Okay? It's a bad thing, it's an unnatural act. What unnatural actually means is it is not something that you would naturally do. It is not part of the patterns in your life, the patterns that you typically use as a substitute for thought. Okay? There are a lot of patterns we use in our life to avoid thinking. Okay. Belief systems are patterns we use to avoid thinking. A dogma is something we use to avoid thinking. Okay. So if we look at this and said an irresistible urge to perform an unnatural act, we could do a very rational thing, that must have sounded wonderful, we could do a very rational thing and simply redefine for everyone in the room well unnatural means, but since we're all learning how to be hypnotists and we're all already great guys and we don't do negative things, what if you just cross that part off? And I say compulsion, an irresistible urge to' perform an act? Ooh, that sounds pretty good doesn't it? That could be used as part of a propulsion -system. That could move you irresistibly into a , highly desirable future. Okay? When we're building our pictures, we might want to look and say, "Where have we had a compulsion in our life?" Okay? "Where have we been compelled to do something? Where do we keep that memory and what would happen if in that very same spot we were to just blank out the previous content, keep the power and put in a new picture?" Oooh, yeah. And you could make that picture bigger; you could move it right into your immediate future? And you could turn
Audience: Laughter Major Mark: And one of the things you do as an engineer is you're paid to solve problems. People pose problems to you and then you go ahead and you find a series of solutions and then you pick you ideal solution. Well, as you do so, one of the first questions you ask yourself are, "What are the constraints?" If you're working on a product design, for example, you want to know what is all the desired functionality, what are the things it can't do, like in the software world, what are, what are the things that it must not do in order to keep the overall environment running? You know, the Microsoft environment, so it only crashes three times a day instead of twelve. Audience: laughter Major Mark: Okay? Or constraints can be environmental factors like you could define, you could design the best software product ever, but if it would cost 3, 000 dollars a copy, you're not going to sell all that much. But if sell it at $39. 95, you're going to sell just a bazillion of these things. Okay? Constraints are rules and boundaries that you place around the area within which you solve your problem. Okay? Well, gosh, constraints have another meaning as well though. A constraint is a repression of one's own feelings, behaviors and actions. So if you were to look at how do I go about solving the problem of my life, how do I go about designing new behaviors, new belief systems, new attitudes and new actions so that my life gets better than it, I ever, you know, imagined in my wildest imaginings? Everyone starts out and they build a box. Okay? And within this box is where we're going to devise our solutions. The boundary of the box is the constraint. Well, what is a constraint? A constraint is that area in which you have a repression of your own feelings, behaviors and actions. Okay? Listen to yourself talk to yourself. Because if you start thinking about constraints, not only do you say, for example, that, you know, I'm inside a box but it's
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attractive because it's my box. You know? You also say that there's all this area outside the box. There are a million, a billion potential solutions outside the box. What keeps you from moving outside the box? Constraints. What is a constraint? It's a repression of your own feelings, behaviors and actions. We were talking earlier today about obstacles. Okay? And how obstacles are perceived. Obstacles are constructs in our mind. There are very, very few natural obstacles. I'll give you an example of a natural obstacle. Okay? I used to be a top-ranked shooter. Okay? I could go anywhere in the world, pick up my tool, compete, and come out very, very well. Now, in the interim, I have had two accidents, one of which damaged my left eye, one of which damaged my right eye. Ooh, bad thing. It's a physical constraint. There's absolutely nothing I can do about that, So, I don't compete in that particular level any more. Now they go out shooting, I go talk to their wives. Right?
thing? Well, maybe not. It depends on what you're doing. All these things are value free, okay? Words don't have anywhere near the power that most people think, even though they control everyone's reality. How can this be? Well, Lenny Bruce was right. And Lenny Bruce made a very nice living off of talking about things that you're not supposed to talk about. Okay? Lenny Bruce used to be able to stand up in front of an audience and say "fuck" and people would applaud while even paying for it. You know? I think I've got a good job, jeez. But the thing is, words are value-free, it's the connotation and the notion of reality that you bring to them that determine whether they're helpful or they're harmful. Okay. Now let's do obsessions. Audience: Are _____ connotations, are they are _____ . Major Mark: Yeah. Perjority means negative and negative in this sense means it hurts somebody. Okay. I, I am a real big believer on good things, bad things. I mentioned this before. In my life, good things are that which expand your possibilities and make you feel good. Bad things are things which restrain your possibilities and hurt you. Now, I'm not talking about did it hurt your feelings. I'm talking about did it puncture this bag of fluids and you're leaking. Okay? I'm not tremendously concerned about whether someone has hurt feelings or not because I can't control that. I have no idea what garbage has been placed in your mind and you've been practicing for the past 20 years. Not my problem. Okay? But, if I haul off and I'm gesturing wildly and I whack you in the side of the head, that's a bad thing. Okay? I've entered into your personal space as Brother Orion said and yeah, in a very direct way and it didn't turn out very well. Okay. Obsessions. A persistent disturbing preoccupation with an often unreasonable, oh, idea or feeling. Okay. A persistent disturbing preoccupation with an often unreasonable idea or feeling. Do you get the idea that the people who write these dictionaries are like trying to get a point across? You know? Persistent, disturbing, preoccupation, unreasonable. Well, what does this really mean? You know what an obsession is, right? It's a thought that gets into your head and you just can't let go. All right? I just came from Disney World and I really worked hard to avoid anything that was going "It's a small, small world.”
Audience: Laughter Major Mark: Okay. However, there are no other constraints in the rest of my life. I can do anything I want. I can think anything I want and believe anything I want. I don't accept the idea of constraints. When I find something that's an obstacle, the first thing I do is I think, speed bump, okay? An obstacle is this little blip in the road that let's me know that, whoa, something just happened there, maybe I ought to slow down, maybe I ought to go around next time, maybe I'm driving down the wrong fucking street. Okay? But, it's now longer this huge thing looming in my mind because I have redefined it. And as I start using new terms, as I use new words, I build new realities and by describing it to myself, I bring it to life. Does this make sense? Say yes. Audience: Yes Major Mark: I like this. Okay. Let me give you one more example. Okay? People also get down on me cause I like to talk about, well we won't do dominance. We'll do obsessions. Okay? I'll make you do dominance. Ross: There's nothing wrong with dominance. Audience: Do dominance. Major Mark: Dominance, dominance is really simple. The actual definition of dominance is to exert the supreme or determining influence. Okay? It does not mean to control. It does mean to, you know, hook her up to a leash and drag her around the room. Instead, it means you are the most powerful influence in someone's life. Now, does that sound like a negative
Audience: Laughter Major Mark: Because these people are very clever. That thing will stick in your mind for months. All right. An obsession is an idea that gets into your
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head from whatever way, whatever cause and it just haunts you. Okay? You can't get it out of your head. So, let's look at this again. Persistent, that's not too bad. Disturbing; what does disturbing mean? It means it is interrupted the normal progression or the normal reality that you've got running inside your head. It has disturbed it. If you go out to a flowerbed and move the dirt a little bit around, you have disturbed the dirt. Have you caused the dirt nightmares?
saying things to yourself like, "I'm not the kind of guy who does x, y, z.” Or, "She would never be interested in me.” Or, "I could never get all the way into wild, screaming, rip-up the-sheets sex on the first date.” Okay? All of these are examples of pathological trance. None of them are true. Okay? You've been using language in bad ways and it's time, this weekend, now, to begin to think very, very carefully about how you talk to yourself. What is it that you say to yourself and how do you say it? What is the tonality you use? Kim's going to come up and she's going to be talking about tonality. Okay? I've had the great pleasure of being around Kim for quite some time now. She's fabulous. You're going to love it. She's right. Okay? You could be telling yourself a good thing in your head and if you're using this whiny little tonality, okay, it's like the dentist drill. Okay? That's what tonality is. You ever go into a dentist's office and you're sitting there and you're looking at some magazine that was old six months ago, and in the background you hear this rrrring, rrring, rrring? I'm convinced that they, I mean, they don't even do the work. They just tape it and play it, You know?
Audience: Laughter Major Mark: No. Okay? All it means is to move out of the normal order. Preoccupation; what is a preoccupation? Or how does it manifest itself? If you were to imagine the movie screen right in front of you that you're playing your entire life, okay, and now right in front of you, in your own person movie theater, you have a large, unpleasant woman wearing a large hat, okay, you would be preoccupied with the fact that she was blocking your view. It takes a central point, a focus within your life. Okay? Often unreasonable, unreasonable; what does that mean? It means it doesn't make a lot of sense. But wait a minute. We've been talking about intuition. Intuition is a good thing. We all want it; we're going to be practicing it. But where is the rationale behind intuition? Where is the clear and obvious mechanism that intuition uses? Well, you can't see it, that's the whole point. Okay? It's unreasonable. So, let's strike out these things that have the messy, messy ambiguities. Okay. We'll cross out disturbing, we'll cross out often unreasonable and say an obsession is a persistent preoccupation with an idea or feeling. Okay? I've had the privilege of meeting some people who have competed in the Olympics. My father competed in the Olympics. Through him I got to know a whole bunch of these people. Okay? When they talk about doing their mental imagery, when they talk about doing their preparation for their event, for their competition, they talk about a single-minded focus on an attitude, an action and an outcome. Okay? What are they? They are obsessed with correct performance. Again, this about a time in your life when there were thoughts going through your head that were persistent, they were outside your normal order of things, you couldn't get them out of your head and you really don't know why it's happening, but god dammit, you just can't get it out of your head. That's an obsession and you can use it on your own behalf. Okay. Now, why am I telling you all this stuff? First of all, it's true. These things need to be said. You've been talking to yourself in bad ways. You've been talking to yourself in ways that have acted to close down your sense of possibilities. You've been
Audience: Laughter Major Mark: Because they, they get you into such, such a deep trance state before you even hit the chair. It's like I give up, do me, you know, rrrr, rrring. Tonality sets the tenor of your response to a message. Okay? So you, you choose your words very carefully. You think about the tonality. You'll hear people like Ross and myself, we'll be talking away and we'll stop, we'll go, "Aaah.” Okay? It's a tension release but it also moves us right back down into the point where we can talk instead up here and really fast like I often do. You go slow down. Okay? And you get the tonality going and you're soothing yourself Now, I told you all that to tell you this. There are a lot of ideas that are going on in the world about what does it mean to be a seducer? Okay? If you'd walk up to the average woman on the street and say, "Describe a seducer, " you're going to get a negative response back. And yet, if you ask her, "Has ever been a time in your life when you met a man who just, out of the blue, appeared in front of you, the very picture of someone you've wanted all your life, someone who is blah, blah, blah, blah, " you just describe them, "would you find that attractive?" "Ooh, yeah.” Well, wait a minute. A seducer is bad and yet the man who is capable of seducing them is good. How does that work? You know? How can these things both be true? And it's because there's a connotation with the word. Words resonate with
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people in certain ways. Now, some of the questions that have been asked so far this weekend have to do with things like where is it ethical to use these technologies? Okay? How can you use it ways that help women without hurting them? Okay? How could you use it to fit within the social constraints so that you don't, I mean, listen, I ... I do research projects. I get bored really easily, so when I do a research project, I don't just like go out and say, "Someone told me this is true. I tried it and it's true. I'll try it ten more times and see if it's still true.” No, no. I immediately go back to my previous slide here and say, "Fuck constraints.” Okay? "Where are the real boundaries on this stuff So, as a result, I have, yes in fact, jumped out a second story windows while somebody else was coming up the stairs with a gun. Okay? Bad thing, bad, bad, bad. Okay? I have had a real problem with my landlord in an apartment complex because women kept breaking the lock on their front door and coming in and pounding on my door, cause they wanted more. Okay?
Audience: Laughter Major Mark: Okay? This is a bad thing, bad thing. Audience: Laughter Major Mark: Yep, good thing, bad thing. So I learned to express myself in different ways. Audience: Laughter Major Mark: Okay? I learned that there are ways of being a seducer that do not slip into pathological trance. There are ways of approaching seduction that do not involve limiting anyone's options, harming anyone at all. And the key to this is to (a) use your language correctly, always be scrupulously honest and actually do everything that you're talking about. Brother Orion's main point, okay, you cannot crank, somebody kick Brother Orion. Okay, there we go. You cannot crank them up to nuclear pitch and then leave them hanging there. Cause what happens? It pisses them off. They're in a highly energized state, they're paying attention to you and now they're pissed off. Bad thing. Okay? You want, instead, to follow through on everything that you promised, which means you need to be very, very careful about what you promise. You promise things, things through words, you promise things through Implication, through your use of ambiguity, you promise things through your physical performance. Okay? You have to fucking pay attention. You're always communicating, inside and outside. Okay. Now, some people come up and ask me and they say, well, oh, for example, let's just use this few minutes here to talk about one of my most famous research projects, which is the scoring with married women book.
Audience: Laughter. Major Mark: This is no shit. I mean, it's, reality is far stranger than any fiction you could ever come up with. Okay? Audience: Laughter Major Mark: Once you learn this sort of stuff, there is this natural tendency to go out and try it a lot. Okay? You sit back and think, "I am a master speed seducer. I have always wanted six foot athletic blondes.” And see, you start to collect some. Okay? Audience: Laughter Major Mark: And you forget the off switch. Okay? And so all of a sudden, you've got this small stable of athletic, you know, blondes who want more of what they got before. Okay? It may be you got a little sloppy and didn't redirect all that energy some place else so they're still looking for you. Okay?
Yates: This concludes Side 12 of the Ross Jeffries Basic Speed Seduction Home Study Course
Audience: Laughter Major Mark: I was living in this apartment complex, no shit, women were like breaking the locks on the entrance door, coming upstairs, pounding on my door, three in the morning, "I now you're in there. I know you're in there with her.” Barn, bam, bam, ... I'm thinking, "What the fuck is this?" And then my neighbor starts getting really upset, not because of the noise, but because his wife is sniffing around saying, "What's so special about Mark that he's got all these women?"
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Major Mark: you just go ahead and you succumb. You know? People ask me all the time, you know, "Gee, you're Major Mark. You're this world famous seducer, you know. If you can do anything in your life you want, for Christ sake, look at everything you've done so far, why did you get married?" And the answer is really simple. Cassie's a much better hypnotist than I am.
Tape 7 – Side 1 Yates: Welcome to Side 13 of the Ross Jeffries Basic Speed Seduction Home Study Course
Major Mark: To end it up, there's a public called THE RENEGADE HYPNOTIST REVEALS AMAZING TRUE SECRETS ABOUT SCORING WITH MARRIED WOMEN.
Audience: Laughter Major Mark: But the thing is, our concept of marriage includes pathological trance. This is a verifiable fact. It closes down your options. And for most women in our society they move into a predominantly sexless role. Does this mean they don't have sex? No, it means that that aspect of their life, they vibrant sexuality that they reveled in just a year before, is sublimated to the concept of marriage. Okay? They are now a wife. So, you've all seen it. It's like you meet some woman, she's very active, she's friendly and all this kind of stuff. She goes and gets married and then all of a sudden she can't go to lunch with you because she's married. Okay? She can't talk to you at parties, can't fool around and flirt like she used to cause she's married. Okay? Women are taught to protect themselves, to hold men not at an arm's distance, more like a football field's distance, once they're married. Because they want to avoid the appearance of temptation, they want to avoid the reality of temptation. Okay? Well, unfortunately, women are just like people. This shit only goes so far. Okay? A few years into this, maybe even sooner, they start going, "Hey.” Because the woman they used to be is still alive. Okay? That, that laughing, happy girl who'd go out and dance all night and just love the experience is still alive, she still wants to come out and play. See, there's this very important truth, and that is there's no such thing as a married woman. There is no such thing as a married woman. We, we've got the words all wrong. There are only women who have gotten married.
Audience: Laughter Major Mark: Okay? Audience: Laughter Major Mark: That's right. Hey, you know. And the thing is the reason I started thinking about all this was in my work as a therapist, I see anywhere between, oh jeez, 40, 50 women a week professionally. Okay? Out of those, at least half and this spans, this is an average, this spans the last 10 years, I would say at least half have either said they're going to have an affair, they're having an affair, or they have had an affair. And I'm thinking, "Well, now wait a minute. How can this be when, in fact, the whole image of married women is that marriage is sacred, it's forever, it's true, it's permanent, it's concrete, you know, it's titanium, not can possibly interfere with it.” Well, the fact is as I mentioned before, women are people. Okay? People are engines of infinite possibility, including behaviors, including desires, including needs. Okay? And we have a myth built up in our culture that says before marriage women go through predictable stages. Okay? They're little girls who are dreaming about the future and what must be. Okay? They're adventurous young women who are out partying, dancing, flirting, experimenting with love affairs, finding out what life is all alike, and then suddenly at some point it's like they throw a switch, boom, new path, and they decide they want to get married. And marriage is something that is apart, marriage is something different. Marriage means that they go o ut and they decide "I'm ready to get married, here's the kind of man I want to get married to, " and heaven help the next poor sorry bastard who wanders into their sights.
Audience: Laughter Major Mark: Okay? There are women who have changed t heir legal status and somehow wrapped up in this thing is the whole idea that now I have to be completely different person and shut down huge areas of my life in order to be a happily married woman. Who benefits from this? Married men. Okay? Married men love this shit. Okay? Cause they can still run around and do anything they want, they can be masters of the universe, they can be in charge, knowing that wifey is going to be home, wifey's going to be a good girl. The one thing that terrifies a married
Audience: Laughter Major Mark: You know? Because she's ready. Okay? And she's going to girlnosis on you until ... Audience: Laughter
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man the most is the idea that his wife is going to wake up. Okay? She's going to say, "Hey, I've got desires, I've got needs, I'm a human being, I want to have a little adventure, I want to have a little passion, I want to do something outside the box. I can see over this constraint and see that it's just a line here, it doesn't really exist.” Oooh, what starts to happen then? They start looking for possibilities. Now, up until relatively recently it was men who had greater possibilities for infidelity. Oooh, okay? Infidelity means unfaithful and that really refers back to what's the nature of the promise you made, which is, you should be really careful about it. I just went through this marriage ceremony where half of it was in Hebrew and that made me nervous as hell. You know? I mean, I have no idea what the man was talking about, I just know, you know, he was going on and on and the whole congregation was going, yeah, yeah, and I'm going, "What is this?" You know?
hump her leg right here. Audience: Laugher Major Mark: You know? Okay? Well, as women in our society take an ever-increasing role in everyday activities, the broad-range activities, guess what? Their opportunity goes up so the number goes up. Okay? Is this a bad thing? Well, this is where people argue. Okay? People have various opinions; they have various beliefs, good thing, bad thing. I'm not really qualified to judge. All I know is that in my professional practice if a day goes by without somebody hitting on me, I figure I must be on vacation or I'm sure as hell not in the office. Okay? It happens all the time, all the time. Now why do women do this? Pause for reflection. Women do this because they want the same things we want. Okay? They want pleasure, they want passion, they want adventure. And it's not that they have something specific in mind. They want something that they associate with those words. They want something that they associate with those values that the culture has pounded into them. Okay? When you want to keep a wife from straying, you are actually running up into this headlong confrontation with 20, 30, 40 years of cultural conditioning to be just the opposite. Okay? I mean, it is absolutely amazing. Now women are able to compartmentalize their behavior in ways that men find unnatural. What is unnatural? It's not bad, it just means we haven't practiced it. Okay? Men are such simple creatures. It's really true. I teach this course called BUILDING A BETTER GIRLFRIEND. Okay? And guys get wildly excited about it because it all works. It works wonderfully well. Women don't even blink. It's funny. Guys go, "Well, Jeez, you know, does this really work? Can I do this, can I do this with it, can I do that with it?" Women go, "Cool, where do I sign?" Okay? They find out I teach this stuff, they're reaching for their checkbook. Okay? They understand this stuff cause they know that behaviors fall into different categories in your life. Okay? And a way a woman is going to approach doing something outside her marriage, seeking pleasure outside her marriage, or even worse yet, seeking meaningful conversation and meaningful emotions outside her marriage, she'll do it in a box. Okay? This is a question when I first started doing the research, I couldn't figure out how is it that women cheating on their marriage was such a bad thing was so many of them appeared to be doing it. You know? You would think that the countryside would be just littered with destroyed lives. I mean if one out of two women are doing it, you would think that we would be totally fucked instead of mostly fucked up.
Ross: You waved your stock portfolio. Major Mark: That's right. Audience: Laughter Major Mark: Exactly right. I affirmed the second mortgage and you know all that kind of stuff. But the thing is there are, there are a couple of studies that came out last year that have to do with married and their, their sexual behavior. And the most conservative study that came out of U. S. Government, oddly enough, because they don't publish the one's that aren't politically correct, I don't know if you know this, but there's all this research that never makes it outside the Library of Congress because they don't want to admit it. Okay? But, the most conservative study published for the past couple of years said that one out of three wives will, in fact, repeatedly have affairs while she remains married. One out of three. Okay? Now, if that was the only number, that means there's one hell of a lot of women doing this. My experience as I said is that, is roughly half The greatest predictor of infidelity is opportunity. It's a fact, okay? You all know this is true. You're men, you're dogs, you sniff butts, you know? Audience: Laughter Major Mark: You know that if the opportunity presents itself in front of you, you go, oooh, this is nice. Okay? I can always think about how it's a bad thing later. Audience: Laughter Major Mark: Right now it's here. You know? I want to
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Audience: Laughter
in such a way that it would never negatively impact your primary relationship ...” I mean, look at all the qualifiers I'm using. Okay? Okay. ”Would you do it?" Well, yes they would. Okay? Do I ever have to say, "Would you like to go fuck?" "No!" Okay. If half the married women in North America are either looking for the opportunity, have the opportunity, have had the opportunity, chances are all I have to do is be available. The greatest predictor of infidelity is
Major Mark: All right? Okay. And what I found is that the question I learned to ask, which is the killer, killer question, is if there was a way that you could experience a once-in-a-lifetime romantic or sexual adventure, without it negatively impacting your primary relationship, would you do it? Yes, the answer would comeback just like that. Okay. Because within those constraints I drew a bigger box. Right? Within those constraints they all go for it. Well how can this possibly be if it's a naturally bad thing? It's because I used language that allowed a greater sense of possibility. Okay.
Audience: Possibility. Major Mark: Possibility. Opportunity. Right? Okay? If you bring in a carload of starving women all I have to do is look like the dessert tray.
Audience: Can you restate that?
Audience: Laughter
Major Mark: Which part?
Major Mark: These women are going to go out and they're going to be looking for that experience with someone. Now, they could go out and find somebody who hasn't been through this course before and so isn't very skilled, isn't very knowledgeable, isn't very mature, doesn't know how to do it in such a way that doesn't hurt people, and so they can end up with them.
Audience: The part, if there was ... Major Mark: Oh. If there was, ha ha, you want to use this later, huh? Audience: Yeah. Major Mark: If there was a way for you to enjoy a romantic or sexual adventure outside your marriage in such a way that it would never negatively impact your primary relationship, would you do it?
Ross: There's a point I want to make here. And I hope you can see this point. The point I want to make is regardless of whether you're interested in seducing married women or not, there's a, there's a much more interesting thing going on here. In my opinion. And that is Mark's ability to see beyond the box and refuse to be, however temporarily at least, refuse to be brainwashed by a set of word associations. The, the, the, everything that he's doing here flows, and correct me if I'm wrong, but I think I'm night, I think I know how you think, at least I think I think I know how you think, but then there's what you know that you know, then there's what ...
Audience: Thank you. Major Mark: I've, I've asked tens of thousands of women this question. I've not yet gotten a no answer. Okay? This tells me I'm on to something. Audience: Laughter. Would you repeat that one more time? Major Mark: It's actually all on a very fine course called BUILD A BETTER GIRLFRIEND. ?: It's available.
Audience: Laughter
Audience: Now, I ...
Ross: You don't know you know until one day you suddenly realize you know you know it. And then when what you don't know you becomes what you know you know, then you just think things differently. You know? So anyway, little confusion. Here's the point. This all flows out of Mark's understanding that there are no married women, there are only women who got married. So he refuses to have a category in his mind that says single women/married women. To him they're all women. And therefore he's able to reach the conclusion, "Wait a minute. They still have the same response, the same desires, the same mindsets as single women.” So that ability to take a, a defining wordset,
Major Mark: Yes I will. Audience: When you ask that question, do you ask it as sort of like research to find out or do you ask it as part of a seduction? Major Mark: Well, if I'm in the office its research. Audience: Yeah. Laughter. Major Mark: Uh huh. But, if I'm sitting at a restaurant somewhere, I'll just ask it. I'll say, "Listen, as a man, I'm curious about something that you can reveal to me now and that is ...” boom, I hit them with the question. ”If there was a way for you to experience a romantic or sexual adventure outside the realm of your marriage
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a set of words that captures and traps people's neuro associations and forces them along a narrow line of thinking, so narrow that they can't even see the opportunity that's over here. You really want to begin to question for yourselves, even if you don't accept that seducing married women is something you would even step towards doing, at least ask yourself, "Okay, what else is there in my life where I'm accepting the definition that's so narrowing, so constricting?" In fact, what Mark is really saying, if I might, he saying that the very term married woman is a pathological trance inducer.
example of how our cultural mindset and how we use language exerts a powerful, powerful influence on you. But the key to shatter, to break that control is to just wake up, to look at what's _____ , to listen to what is actually being said inside and outside your head, and going, "Wait a minute. Is that true or not?" Yes. Yes sir. Audience: Yeah. I support your concept of breaking out of the box. I started out with a thousand dollar MasterCard loan and I built up a multi-million dollar worldwide _____ . Major Mark: Sure. Okay.
Major Mark: Uh huh.
Audience: Breaking out of the box. Reading about doing that and I like your openness, okay?
Ross: Why? Because it narrows the type of things you can even begin to consider let alone act on. Okay? Even if you would never seduce a married woman, at least see how the very word, married woman, is actually a pathological trance inducer, cause it's taking away your choice to even think about it in a different way. And a huge amount of the control mechanisms in our society are pathological trance inducers through words. If someone can determine how you think about something, then they can determine how far you think about something. Okay? And the way they do that is through languaging and through words. So look at this, even if you don't agree with seducing married women or not, look at this as an opportunity to begin to explore how words induce pathological trance. And dating is, in effect, a set of words that induce a pathological trance. A pathological trance that requires men to be supplicators, that requires men to be sex beggars or bullies, or requires men to be, accept terrible choices that you either do nothing or you have to live on luck and chance. Okay? You've been sold a huge amount of pathological trance. A huge amount. And that pathological trance is called dating. Am I correct about this?
Major Mark: Uh huh. Audience: And you talked about being honest ... Major Mark: Uh huh. Audience: Okay? And I respect that concept. But if you promise somebody at the altar and you go and break that contract, you are not being honest. Major Mark: I understand what you're saying. Audience: In my, you know, my ... Major Mark: Okay. Audience: Do you agree with that or not? Major Mark: Uh, yes and no. Okay? I'm not trying to dance around the question, Okay. The marriage compact as we understand it in American culture is one of the very few open-ended contracts you ever enter in, enter into. Most contracts are bounded by terms and conditions that are often bounded by dates as well. Okay? Marriage is the one area where you don't know what the hell you're doing with somebody you don't really understand and you promise a certain set of behavior forever. The fact is people change. Okay? Now, if I were to look at anybody, male or female, who looks at what they promised before and says this binds my behavior forever, regardless of how unhappy I may be, as someone who makes a living out of helping people, I have to wonder about that line of reasoning. Okay? I understand what you're talking about because when I give somebody my word, I go through, I mean, I will go through the fires of hell to make sure that I promised. In fact, that's one thing people will tell you about me is I'm very careful about what I promise because I'm obligated to perform. Okay? That's why when we got married, I didn't make any promise to be faithful forever, sexually faithful forever. It didn't even come up. What
Major Mark: Yes. Ross: Is this where you're driving with it? Major Mark: Yeah. Cause see the thing is, I'm always honest with you guys, but let me just abandon any kind of sophistication and go right for the blunt edge. The reason that I talk to people about my research into this area is because the whole concept of scoring with married women gets people right by the balls, gets guys right by the balls. Some guys go, "Oh, yeah, I want to do that.” Other guys go, "You fucking scum. How dare you even think this.” And then most guys go, "Huh?" Cause it never even came on the radar screen before. Okay? The thing is, this is a prime
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I explicitly promised and which I will honor to the day I die is that I will never do anything to hurt her.
you going to lie? Audience: I would say to him, "Are you crazy?"
Audience: But if you have sex with another woman in the age of AIDS, there's a chance. If your wife ...
Ross: Well, he says, "Do you have any Jews in your home?"
Ross: Okay. Hang on a second, hang on a second. There's a degree which an exchange degenerates into a dialogue in an argument. You, he made, he, you acknowledged what you appreciated about him and where your difference was and he answered you back. So we can keep going but, but, but, but, but ... I think that the discussion has gone to the point where it's getting extended to that. I don't want it to do that.
Audience: "What a question to ask of a Nazi.” Ross: Okay, good. So you would say no. Okay. Audience: No, I wouldn't. Ross: You would, you would not lie. Major Mark: No, that dissembling. That's dissembling. Ross: That's dissembling, that's not telling the truth.
Major Mark: Right. It's a mistake to get too attached a model ...
Audience: I'm not saying no.
Ross: It's a mistake to but, but, but, let me say this. There's, there's one point I want to make and then I want to drop that. There's a concept in law, having been a former paralegal, called an adhesion contract. Do you know what an adhesion contract is? The law frowns upon contracts of adhesion. It basically means you're stuck with it. Adhesion, to adhere, it means the contract is so binding and one-sided and oppressive, you're basically forced into signing it. And the law frowns upon that sort of thing. An example of an adhesion contract is an insurance policy. If an insurance policy has impossible conditions and you still sign it, the law will look, look at that say it's voidable.
Ross: But if you said yes, if your only choice was yes or now, I'm serious, if your only choice was yes or no, would you lie? Audience: I'd just, I'd go off on them. ”How dare you?" Ross: Listen to me and answer my question. If your only choice was yes or no, would you lie? Audience: Yes I would. Ross: Okay. So being honest is not always the best thing. Okay. Let's drop this topic. Major Mark: Okay. Perhaps I can put some minds at rest by saying I have never hit on a married woman in my life. I've never set out to seduce a married woman in my life. Have I ever had married women hit on me? Yes, constantly. Okay? The thing is, once a woman puts her mind to this, okay, once she's changed her boundaries, when she has changed her constraints, she's going to be out doing something, if she's moving through society like a virus in pumps and pearls. Okay? I mean, ...
Major Mark: Not enforceable. Ross: Not void, but voidable. And there's an extent to which marriage is an adhesion contract because the norms of society will only confer certain benefits if you agree to certain sexual restrictions that may not be in the best interest of human beings. They may or they may not . So there's an extent to which marriage can be viewed as a contract of adhesion, you know, that, that it's so binding and oppressive that to break it is not necessarily, it may, and by the way, not all dishonesty is bad. If you're, let me give you an example where dishonesty would not be bad. You're a German in World War II and you're sheltering Jewish people in your attic. Okay? You decided that policy of murdering Jews is not a good thing. I think you would agree, murdering Jews is not a good thing. Yes? Murdering innocent people is bad.
Audience: Laughter Major Mark: That's right. And see, the thing is , she's, she's going to go out and she's going to engage in the behavior along with half of all her other married sisters. Okay? The thing is if you were to get involved in this sort of thing, the only that's necessary to do is to become the sort of man that married women are attracted to. Okay. Now, does this sound at all familiar? Say yes.
Audience: Response from audience.
Audience: Yes.
Ross: Okay? So you've got Jewish children hiding in your attic and the Nazi official knocks on your door and says, "Do you have any Jews in your home?" Are you going to tell him the truth; yes I do or are
Major Mark: Because the whole purpose of speed seduction is for you to transform yourself, transform yourself into the kind of man that women find
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comp elling.
know this is outside of the box, what if, just suppose as a result of this experience of wild and amazing passion, she could take that passion back into her marriage and re-energize and revitalize it?
Audience: I have a question. If even with all the social pressures and whatnot that come to bear with taking a woman, you know,
Major Mark: What if she got it out of her system?
Major Mark: Right.
Ross: I'm serious, I'm not trying to be facetious, I'm not being cynical here. I'm deadly serious. What if passion were not just a limited thing she only has so much of like porridge handed out at the orphanage? This is another scarcity thing. What if passion were something you could reawaken in her so she then goes back to her marriage and takes it back into her marriage and re-ignites it? He may be marching around going, "Wow, must be the new cologne.” But
Audience: Oftentimes still can't force monogamy, do you think that it's, that in some way that it's a commentary on how _____ transformation occurs that it has to be an entire process over a period of time because people aren't static _____ that ... Major Mark: That is certainly true. But let me tell you that women are far less resistant to stepping outside a marriage than men are. Okay? Honest to god. Okay? In my professional opinion I experience women will go for it at the drop of a hat. Okay?
Audience: Laughter Ross: And he never has to know. See it, to my mind, to my mind, the important thing is not to violate or disrupt a loving, good, healthy relationship. Whether that's in the institution of a marriage or whether it's an institution of people who are still single. But you could be in a marriage where people absolutely hate, what if they absolutely hate each other, make each other miserable? Is that a bigger violation than to go and try and break up people who are single but are really deliriously happy with each other, simply because there's a rule that says don't do it? But, but, let, let's, if we can, get off of the, get off of that aspect and move on to something else. Is it on this topic, cause if it is, let's drop it.
Audience: On a different subject. The 64 thousand dollar question. Of the thousands of women that you interviewed you say that they all never say no ... Major Mark: Right. Audience: Do they ever say anything besides yes? Major Mark: They might want to know more details about how it could not affect their primary relationship and I ask them, I say, "Are there areas of your life where you're a mom?" Well, if they have kids, they'll go, "Yeah.” I go, "Okay, there's clearly accepted rules and roles of behavior within that.” And they go, "Yeah.” And I go, "But there are also areas where you're a wife.” And they go, "Yeah.” And I say, "It doesn't always overlap does it?" "Well, no.” There are different behaviors they keep in different parts of their life. Then they've got their working life. It's all the behavior that they associate with being in the office, what you can and can't do, how they relate to people, who their friends are, okay? Then they go to church and they have the life of, "Well, how do I _____ myself within the boundaries of the congregation?" Women understand this stuff. They compartmentalize their lives cause that's how they get through all the demands in their life. Adding one more box that happens to contain the possibility of wild passion, a once in a lifetime romantic adventure, and fulfillment beyond their wildest dreams, well, that's not so difficult to do.
Audience: I had a question about compartmentalization. Ross: Yes. Compartmentalization ... Audience: When you were talking you mentioned roles, it seemed like there was always a role name that went along with the compartment. If someone, if someone cheats, what's the role name for that that's not, doesn't have any pejorative connotations to it? Major Mark: Lover. Lover. Okay, listen. There are lots of examples of women loving someone deeply. In my mind ... Ross: In my mind, okay. Audience: Laughter
Audience: So, in other words, an affirmative response means that they can put the extra box in?
Major Mark: Women are able to couple the rational with the emotional to a far greater degree night out of the box than we are. I don't know why it is; it's just the way it works.
Major Mark: Yeah. Yeah. Ross: There's, there's, there's another thing to keep in mind here. What if it were possible, just suppose, I
Audience: The purpose of colossun is actually thicker than our, so they naturally have an ability to send
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neurological signals back much faster and cleaner ... Ross: Unless you're taking a lot of Porasitin then you can, then you, then you get even with them. Audience: Laughter. Major Mark: The corpus colossun for those of you who don't know is that little bundle of nerve fibers that connect your two hemispheres, that allow your two hemispheres to communicate. Okay? It's one of the cool things about women. This is why they come up with all these amazing insights all the time. Ross: I would say that men are equally complex in different areas, but when it comes to sex, men are not complex. Okay? Men don't compartmentalize, sexuality diffuses and infuses all throughout our waking, every, every waking thought and every waking moment. But men can be equally complex in other areas. Major Mark: Okay, let, let me, let me tiptoe out of the minefield here for a second here, okay, cause we were in, perilously close to blowing ourselves up. Okay? Again, why am I talking about all this stuff? Okay? There is a world of infinite possibilities, most of which we never see. Okay? It's like we're inside Carlsbad Caverns only we forgot our flashlight, so we're stumbling around, okay, we hold up a match and we see the pool of light around us and we go, "Wow, this is the world.” Okay? In the meantime, we've got this incredible splendor and wonder all around you and you don't see it because you're not capable of perceiving it. Well, for those of you who've been paying attention, what is the single most important tool that we have that allows us to perceive reality? Audience: Our eyes. Major Marks: It's our words. It's the concepts we use to define and structure the universe around us. Okay? The universe is, the universe exists, it's there. It doesn't know about us, okay? We are a biological
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very careful. Okay? You had the question earlier. How do you do the speed seduction thing without hurting people? And I gave you an answer that may have sounded flip, but it's absolutely true. To make sure that you don't hurt people, never, ever do a hurtful thing. Concentrate on moving towards pleasure, moving towards expansion of possibilities and remaining highly sensitive and aware of the impact of your thoughts, your actions and your beliefs. Mark?
infestation that got out of control. Okay? We are more spools that got uppity and started thinking that, you know, we're it. Ross: Life is a sexually transmitted disease invariably fatal. Audience: Laughter Major Mark: When you start to change the words that you use, when you change how you string them together, you change your very perception of reality. And as you start to use words differently in your communication with the ones you love, with the ones that you may like to love, with the ones that you're doing business with, with the person sitting next to you on the subway, you're changing their reality, too. Okay. I'm a hypnotist. He likes to say I'm one of the best hypnotists, most powerful hypnotists he's ever met. I don't know, they may or may not be true. I do know that I'm real damn good at what I do. And the only thing I have to work with is my voice and my words. Okay? And I've found that all I have to do is talk to someone, I can touch them, I can heal them, I can change their life forever, and by listening to myself do it, I've erased all the lines around my box. Speed seduction context, I walk up to Freda here, okay, and I am so engrossed with nipple distention, green light.
Mark: When you were out there among those dangerous people, were you also watching your thoughts so that you weren't broadcasting ... Major Mark: Yeah. Okay? The, well, the most important thing I had to watch was doubts. Okay? Far more deadly than the North Vietnamese were my selfdoubts. Okay. And I had to guard against that constantly. Okay? Sneaky little fuckers in the bush with guns, I mean, you can handle that. Okay. You're trained for that. What you don't have a defense against is the crap that is going on inside your head. By definition that voice is already inside any conceivable defense you might put up. So the real defense against that kind of belief or that kind of damage that is caused by those pathological trances is to stay awake and just fucking don't do it. It means you have to be awake and aware each and every moment of your life. Okay? Now the good news is that's how is defined. Okay. You are awake every moment of your life, you're just not aware. Okay? So you're half way there already. Cool. You know? Not bad. The rest of the part is paying attention. Right?
Audience: Laughter. Major Mark: If I am so engrossed in what's going on in my head with, what was that transition phrase, how does this pattern go? Okay? Am I doing this right? What comes next, I'm not paying any attention to her, okay, and I'm missing each and every message that she's putting out for my benefit because she can't stop communicating, none of us can stop communicating. Okay? It's like we're a thousand watt radio station and somebody welded that switch on. Okay? There is no way that you can not communicate. Now I was trained long ago and far away to go as far as humans possibly can to not communicate because if you're creeping around in the bush and you're surrounded by well-trained, heavily armed, highly motivated people who really want to kill you, okay, you really don't want to be broadcasting a lot of information. You know? Instead, you want to just close that puppy down and make sure that you just, like this little black hole, that you don't even exist. Even so, you can be spotted, you can be perceived cause you're sending out these messages. Okay? You're affecting your environment in each and every thing you do. So, it behooves you to be very,
Ross: What were you saying? Audience: Laughter Ross: That was easy. The rest of the part was changing ... Audience: Is it, is it the case that, that the stuff you were talking about earlier, pejorative connotations of any word is necessarily a pathological trance induction? Major Mark: Not necessarily. Okay. Let's take murder as an example. Okay? You said I would never murder anybody. Okay? And I'm not picking on you, but you were just talking during this, so I'm using your example. Okay? I used to murder people for a living. I got paid for it, but I did it within a context where it was okay. Okay? I was serving the national interest, I was protecting my buddies, and ... Audience: Response from audience Major Mark: What?
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Audience: Response from audience
have. To begin to think in terms of design, rather than watching what's there. That's all well and good, but what if you began to think what's not there yet, what are you not thinking about yet, now? What imagery have you not yet had in your mind now that would be more useful than you only before used to have before you walked in that door, but which now seem impossible even to get near? Because the more you move towards the direction of thinking what you want to put in rather than how can I remove it, it's there that doesn't serve, the more you begin to have only things that do serve because you wired them in rather than having them accidentally there. Cause see, you were grown, you were born and you grew up and you had lots of things put in there, and, you know, some of them serve you and some of you don't, but what's more useful is this; is to go, "Hey, wait a minute. What's not there yet, what am I not thinking about yet?" Because yesterday there was a time when you didn't have the thoughts you've already had.
Major Mark: No, by definition. I mean, the people who run, if the people who run the country say you go, you go. Now it may be really fucked, but that's how you define the national interest. Okay? Words do have true meanings. Okay? So, the thing is, you say, pejorative, okay ... Audience: I'm trying to think of a word that's somehow, in my own mind, have a pejorative image or idea in my own mind of that, does that necessarily do some pathological trance on me? Major Mark: Not necessarily. Okay? But let me ruin the life you had up until this moment and I'm going to ruin it forever. Okay? It is your responsibility to take each and every input, whether You generate it yourself or it comes from outside you, and to determine its validity in your life. You are responsible for accepting or rejecting each and every thing that occurs to you. Okay? There are no rules, there are no rules, we grew up, okay? We have rules for little kids because you really don't want them running with the scissors. So there's a rule; do not run with scissors. And as hypnotists we know that makes them run with the scissors because you imbedded the command run with scissors. Okay? But all these rules are meant to guide people who don't have a higher cognitive sense. Okay? Well, past the age of 9, you've got it. Okay? At that point, rules have less and less relevance in your life.
Audience: Yeah. Ross: And tomorrow, there'll be a time when the thoughts you haven't yet had will be thoughts you've already did have. So why not determine what you're going to design in. And what does it mean to determine what you design in? Audience: Response from audience Ross: Yeah. I know. What does it mean to really stop and think, "What imagery do I want to put in that uh huh box? If I could see myself any way I wanted to see myself just before I stepped off, up to talk to a lady, what image would I like to see?" Now, you probably couldn't see yourself 40 feet tall, laid back, bulletproof, glowing with power. And it's absolutely impossible, I'm sure you're way too, ... Huh?
Ross: But let me give you an answer, cause I know how you're processing things and it's not useful. It's far more, rather than sitting there obsessively watching your own internal dialogue going, "Is that a pathological ...” Fuck all that. Flush it down the toilet. Instead think in what you want to design in that would work best for you. Not just in what you say to yourself, but the sounds you make, what imagery you make, ah hah. Okay? The body feelings that you want to build. Do you understand?
Audience: I have difficulty seeing that. Ross: Yeah, well of course you had difficulty and that was the problem. But listen. If you were to take image of yourself like this big and watch this. Watch this. Watch this. We're going, you ever see a jack-in-thebox and you put in back in the box, let's push it back in the box, put the lid on, and now I'm going to step on it. It's going to bounce up out of the ground. Ready?
Audience: No, say it again. Ross: I know, because it's so outside of what you're used to ... ?: Laughing Ross: Listen to me. Rather than sit there and watch and listen to your own internal dialogue, and go, "Oh, better watch out, that's a word I shouldn't use to myself, then I'll do ...” Fuck all that. Instead think what you want to design in. It's not just your responsibility to be aware and alert to what's coming in, it's also your responsibility to design in what you want to
Audience: Yeah. Ross: Bing. Now, look at that. Now we're going to push it down into the box again, give me a hand here. This _____ . Audience: Laughter.
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Ross: Okay, put the lid on. Okay, now watch. I want you to see an image of that beautiful woman and then I'm going to step on this, and this image is going to go whoosh ready to be caught. Ready? Bing.
Audience: Laughter. I mean, this is, this is real. I mean like ... Kind of, kind of like a blondish guy who's maybe that size or something. It's just like, but, you know, if I were to look in the mirror, I would see what I saw then, but that's one thing I had difficulties when I visualized me I, what do I look like?
Audience: Laughter Ross: Now you can do this and really enjoy yourself and you can think . Now try and go back to thinking, "Well, what if I say this to her? I don't know if ...”
Ross: Yeah. Audience: I really don't know, until now.
Audience: I didn't think that.
Ross: Until now.
Ross: Well, whatever it was you thought. Now this is confusing because he's going to access where he was and now he's going to access where you are. Okay, yeah, so what am I going to do now? That's right, okay. Yeah. Okay, now take that 40 foot tall image, reach out, reach out with your hands, grab it, raise it up above your head and pull it down on top of yourself
Audience: Till now. Ross: Look at it there. Now you're not looking it there. Watch this. Take a deep breath. Now blow out through your mouth and put a golden color to that image. You don't need to touch it. Take another breath, blow out again. Okay, let it out more easy than that. you knock the stand ... Now look at it Audience: Let's hope.
Audience: Now I'm facing backwards.
Ross: Yeah, we'll, well, I don't want to hope. I just go out and ask for it. Okay? We're going to put this together for all of you tomorrow. But see the thing is I watch how people are talking and I want to see what's more useful. I, I haven't grown out of it yet completely. I have t do this. Someone came to me in my gym. She's a friend of my trainer and she said, "I'm going to take this NLP weekend course with this guy, blank blank.” Okay?
Ross: Well, turn it around, that's all. Audience: Laughter Ross: Now pull it down on top of yourself. Pull it down on top of yourself. Pull it down on top of yourself like this, whoosh. Yeah. Okay, now we've got through 40-foot tall eyes at that beautiful girl. Now remember the sequence of sounds you made in your head that worked best for you?
Audience: Laughter
Audience: Yeah
Ross: And what do you think of Mr. Blank Blank? And I said, "Well, you know, really ...” And my trainer yelled at me. She says, "You're going to make her feel like a dumbass.” I said, "If she goes to see what's, what's this person's name, she is a dumbass.” She said, "Well, you go tell her, go support her decision, you were not nice.” So I went and, you know, cause my trainer will beat me up if I don't. So, you know what this guy did? He taught something called the Metamodel. The Metamodel is a set of questions you give to a client who comes in to help that client clear up their internal dialogue. But it's not meant to be used on yourself If you use the Metamodel on yourself, what you do is wind up in this endless loop of looking at your own internal dialogue to see if its accurate, true or correct. So she was looping, it was completely confused. And so you want to, when someone asks for a change, you want to see if they're stuck in a certain way of doing things. And it would not be useful for him to loop on looking at what thoughts or, or, or pathological _____ . Instead, it's far more important to you if _____ what you want.
Ross: Run them. Audience: I can't remember Bullwinkle, I forget. Ross: (Humming Bullwinkle theme). Shhh. Now watch this. Let's stuff it back in. Okay. Stuff it back in, you got it? Okay, now look here, look here, look up. Okay. I want you to see the beautiful girl, look at her, narrow your eyes a little bit, do the first of your sounds, whatever it might be. Okay. That's the first one. Let's do this. Okay. Stop. Do your sounds, now see the girl, narrow your eyes a little bit, step on your jack in the box, ding, make the other sounds. Audience: Okay Ross: That, that works pretty good? Audience: Actually, the most powerful thing for me is that, is that when, when you did the 40 foot tall thing for the, for the very first time where something's, I actually saw me as opposed to like yesterday where I saw like Calvin in the in the comic strip who's, Calvin's probably not the best in
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Okay? Oh, by the way, the more you find that the images of what you want _____ do that, the more motivated you'll feel towards moving towards things. Do you ever have to argue yourself into doing things? Audience: Less so in the recent past than in the more recent past. Audience: yeah. Ross: Whoosh, whoosh. Audience: _____ that picture I see. Ross: You know what? Do it with your own arms. Take another picture that you can't see, very large, pick one. Pick a picture that's small for you. Audience: Okay. But, all my memories I can, I can see them so ... Ross: Okay, make it bigger. How would you make a picture bigger? What would you do? Audience: Okay. Ross: Grab a hold of it. Whoosh.
Yates: This is the end of Side 13 of the Basic Speed Seduction Seminar
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Audience: I, I, I, I can't, I can think them, I can't see them.
Tape 7 – Side 2
Ross: Oh yeah? Oh, see what he did. He said I can think them _____ back here. God, you're fucking stubborn. I'm going to ...
Yates: Welcome to Side 14 of the Ross Jeffries Basic Speed Seduction Seminar
Audience: Laughter Ross: Okay. But what if what you wanted to do was so compelling and motivating, cause it's a big bright picture.
Ross: If I have to pull it out of you, I will. It's like pulling teeth. You want to give me a hand, Kim? Let's take this one. Pop.
Audience: Yeah, I have, I have hard time seeing big bright pictures unless ...
Audience: Laughter Ross: Alright. Look at it.
Ross: Oh, yeah? Audience: Ah, it's pretty blank. Audience: yeah. Ross: Whoosh, whoosh.
Ross: Okay, fill it in. Take the image here that's stuck in your head ...
Audience: _____ that picture I see.
Audience: Uh huh.
Ross: You know what? Do it with your own arms. Take another picture that can't see very large, pick one. Pick a picture that's small for you.
Ross: Put it on a slingshot and ...
Audience: Okay. But all my memories, I can, I can see them.
Ross: Fling it out here.
Ross: Okay. Make it bigger. How would you make a picture bigger? What would you do?
Ross: Okay, good. Well good. So that means the colors are there.
Audience: Okay.
Audience: Yeah.
Ross: Grab a hold of it. Whoosh. And then what? Whoosh. Yeah. Does that make the memory more vivid?
Ross: Okay. So notice as they begin coalesce into something.
Audience: Uh huh.
Audience: Now it's like, color like a _____ .
Audience: Alright. Now I see your hand. Audience: Oh, yeah. Ross: Okay. My hand is gone. Ross: More enjoyable? Audience: Okay. Audience: Yeah. Audience: laughter Ross: And you'll notice that if you were to take each and every memory that really serves and supports your moving in a completely new way and found that in your dream at night, you made those whoosh, whoosh, whoosh, and all the ones that didn't work ...
Ross: What you can do this tonight in a dream. Audience: Okay. Ross: All right.
Audience: Right. It's not the memories but the design that, that I ...
Major Mark: As to the original question, constantly ...
Ross: Exactly.
Major Mark: To, ...
Audience: the memories because I recall them to a greater lesser extent. I can't picture those.
Ross: But it was useful.
Ross: Oh, sorry.
Major Mark: Be that as it may, yeah it was. It was great. But the thing is, constantly looking for examples of pathological trance is a pathological trance. Okay?
Ross: Right. Audience: But the things that I want to design ... Ross: The possibilities ...
Audience: laughter
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Major Mark: Because ...
this. Here's process language. I'm going to sell you pens. You work for some company that needs to buy a lot of pens. I'll say, I'll say to you, "You know, I don't know what it is you do when you go inside and you think of the ideal pen product that you want for this company, but as you think about that, as you begin to really get clear on exactly the qualities and characteristics of such a writing instrument, and you begin to think of everything I say to you in exactly that way, in exactly along those lines, I’m not sure exactly what thoughts will begin to appear in your mind, but I think it will help to make this presentation a lot more enjoyable, a lot more fun and I want you to realize that if you have any questions, just feel free to ask me. Because understanding is part of the process of making a good decision today with me.” So. what did I just say?
Audience: Laughter Major Mark: You're ... Ross: Tie that knot tighter Major Mark: You're focusing your awareness way down too small. I mean you can easily recognize everyone has the ability to recognize when they're being held back, when they're feeling bad, when things aren't going the way you want. It's only important to be able to recognize it long enough for you to let go, Okay? You don't have to go looking for it because your unconscious is a happy little slave. If you want to go out looking for each and every example of how you're, you hold yourself back, even if you don't do it, you will. Because your unconscious will generate lots of things for you to find. Okay? Be careful about your language.
Audience: I am completely tranced out. Ross: I know.
Ross: How are we doing here on presentation time? You want to wrap it or you ...
Audience: Laughter and applause.
Major Mark: No, I, I, I'm, I'm basically done.
Ross: Now, now, can you repeat any of that? Audience: Part of it was you couldn't, you didn't know what factors, and that's it.
Ross: Let's give him a thunderous Audience: Cheers and applause.
Ross: Yeah. Yeah.
Ross: Because it's process language. We are trained, there's a difference between processed language and content. Let me give you, content is facts, figures, data that you can enter into a computer. Okay? Anything that you could put in a computer database in content. This pen is 50 percent more biodegradable than the other leading brand. It comes in 10 designer colors. Now what did I just say?
Audience: Laughter. Ross: Now, but, but as I did that, were you thinking, as I did that, what were you thinking in your head? Audience: I, I, I was thinking it was good, but I couldn't ... Ross: Were you thinking of what kind of pen you would like and what you would like in that pen?
Audience: Was that a, you described all the characteristics ...
Audience: No.
Ross: Well tell me what I said. What, how many colors does it come in?
Ross: You may be, I think you were unconsciously. See, here's the thing. When you use that kind of vague language, people will go, "I don't know how you were able to tell me exactly what I was looking for.” And I didn't. All I did was tell you to think about it. The reason why you can't remember it and why they can't remember it, this is why I say don't worry about it when you see articles where they give patterns like, like the articles they write about me, where they give away my patterns. People go, "Oh, no. They'll recognize it.” No they won't. People have amnesia for process language. They do not remember it. They only undergo a process and wind up wondering why.
Audience: 10 different colors. Ross: How more, how, what percentage more biodegradable is it than the other leading brand? Audience: I believe it, that. Ross: I said 50, but okay. Audience: Okay. Ross: Okay Audience: But, but if it came ... 10 percent or something like
Audience: I tried to recall what I actually said to the girl 30 minutes later and I can't recall it.
Ross: Okay, so I'm giving you content, But listen to
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Ross: That's why I recommend you all keep a journal and write down what you said so you can keep track. I have seduction journals - you're never going to get to see them - but here's one, no this is not one. I keep a seduction journal where I write down exactly what I said, what responses I got, and I date it. Keep a journal. Keep a journal. Keep a journal. Keep a journal. And by the way, go and buy a journal and keep it. And make an entry every freaking day, even if it's to say, "I did nothing today.” Or even if it's, even if it's to say, "Today I just worked with one pattern. I wrote it out and I spoke it out loud.” By the way, the way, one of the ways to rehearse these patterns is out loud. How do you rehearse the patterns?
Audience: Laughter Ross: Hey, compared to some of these evangelists on TV, I am a third-rate amateur. Oh, there's one of them who I really admire because no matter how many times he's convicted of a crime, he comes right back, and I got to admire that man, that's faith. Audience: Laughter Ross: "I'm sorry. I fucked it up so bad last time. Now you got to send me more money cause I'm in more trouble. Oh.” Audience: Is that Jimmy Swaggert? Ross: Ah, well, I don't want to name names.
Audience: Out loud.
Audience: Yeah. Comment from audience. Laughter.
Ross: It's okay to diagram them, it's okay to write them out on flash cards, but you must rehearse them out loud. Rehearse them out loud, listen, look up here, in the exact posture you'd be in if you were using them. So if you're going, if you want to rehearse walking up and talking to women, don't rehearse it sitting down. Rehearse it as if you're actually there, do, take some steps, and imagine a woman in front and speak, and Kim's going to show you how to do some of this, speak with the pace and the tonality and the volume you actually use if there were a real woman right in front of you. Do not rehearse in the mirror. Why should you not rehearse in the mirror? Because if you rehearse in the mirror, it's telling your brain only do this when you see yourself looking back at yourself. Which means the only time you're going to be seducing is when you're having an out of body experience. And that's a different seminar.
Ross: "My legal bill's are huge. Satan is oppressing me. It was only one prostitute, so what if she was five and ...” Audience: Laughter Ross: Okay. You get, now this is a very important principle for human change. I want you guys all to get this. I want you to look up here and I'll give you plenty of time to write it down, I'll repeat it three times. I want you to look up here to really get it. I want you to understand this. So, you know, as you think, now, watch him go into trance again. I don't even have to look at him or say anything. Cause some of you probably didn't notice it as he was breathing, I was pacing his breathing. That's right, with the movement of the pen. I can look over here, I can stand up on one foot like this, and talk to you about Bullwinkle, Rocky, the situation in China, because what can happen when a person can go all the way down, and this is a magic pen. It's the pen of imagination and new possibility and as you take it from me with your imaginary hands, what does it mean to have imaginary hands? And you close your eyes all the way, lids down, now. And you find that movie screen in your mind where anything can be possible, anything can be tried on, anything can be tried out. All the way down, You can take this magic marker, for that's what it's called, and the magical thing about the marker is, you can mark up new possibilities for yourself Okay. Anyway. So, listen. This is a very important principle. Look up here, I'll repeat it three times. Understand it the first time. There's no difference between what you dwell on mentally, between what you mentally review, and what you're rehearsing to do the next time out. This is why if you dwell on your mistakes, you know what you're doing? You're inadvertently, without knowing it, rehearsing those mistakes so your brain
Audience: Laughter Ross: Okay? Yes sir. Audience: How do you access them when you need them? Ross: You rehearse. Now this is a very, and listen to me, this is important question. This is a big rule of change. I want you to write this down. You get what you rehearse. You get what you rehearse. If you want a new behavior, you must rehearse it, explicitly and vividly, over and over and over again. If you don't, your brain won't know what to do different and it'll just do what's familiar. This is the structure of a slump. Let me show you something. Oh man, honey, do I need some work here. I pinched something. Okay, I can write on this. That's all right. This is the structure of a slump. If you draw a circle, you at home who are listening, as you reach for your wallet and pick up the phone, draw a circle.
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will do them the next time around. That's how ...
that you become students of structure and form, you not only learn how to do patterns but you learn how to move people at a much deeper level. You becomes masters of levels that most people don't even know are there. And there are a lot of them. There are a lot we won't teach in this seminar. Yes.
Audience: Why do I always fuck up? Ross: Yeah. If you ask questions like "Why do I always fuck up?" you're going to review the times you fucked up and the brain is an obedient little slave. It goes, "Oh, he's giving me these images. It must be what he wants me to do the next time around. So that's what I do.” So you review, that equals shitty behavior, that leads to limiting beliefs, that leads to shitty questions which leads to shitty reviewing and you're stuck in this shitty circle. It's actually, hang on a minute. It's actually quite brilliant. There's a nice structure there. Yes sir.
Audience: When we do behavior beliefs ... Ross: And the questions you ask yourself Well, if I say to you, what's your name? Audience: Jason. Ross: If I say Jason, ask your, close your eyes and ask yourself this question. Why do I always fuck it up with the women I really want? Ask yourself that question. What pops into your mind, what image pops into your mind when you ask yourself that?
Audience: It's important, though, for me, to acknowledge, okay, I made a mistake, that's over, that's history, this is now.
Jason: Ali, the stuff we were doing yesterday when I was up there. It seems to be an _____ bearing question still.
Ross: Yes. That's, that's perfect. And you, you're telling me congruently. See, you're much different than you were the last two days. I appreciate this. You, and also, his gestures told me that that's really what he does. He takes it, throws it over his shoulder. That's fine. But I'm talking about dwelling on something. If you dwell on it over and over again, there's no difference between what you dwell on and what you rehearse. So watch what you put in there. Okay? The same structure for the slump is the structure for excellence. A structure for excellence saying, "Hey, what did I do really well?" To review it over and over and then when the, it comes time to do it, your brain automatically does it for your, it builds the belief that says, "Yes, I can continue' to improve and learn to do anything well.” It's the same structure, different content. See, you're probably well aware of this, the content of your thoughts, but you probably weren't aware of the structure. Cause the mind has amnesia and is unaware of structure and, structure and form. The more you become aware of the structure and form of human thought rather than the content, the more powerful you be, you begin to become cause you see levels of experience that other people aren't even aware are there. When you master this stuff, you are operating at a different level of understanding, cause, how many people were aware of the exact nature of this structure before I just talked about it? Okay? For a lot of you, it's the first time you even realized that structure was there. Okay? Most people in the world aren't even aware the structure is there. They know they have these shitty thoughts, but they're not aware, they're very familiar with the content. If you ask them, "What are your shitty thoughts?" they could tell you. But they're not aware that this is the structure and the form. To the extent
Ross: Yeah. The questions you ask tend to generate the imagery in your mind. Forgive me. My throat is giving me some challenges today. By the way, the guy, you guys look different today. Yo u look much more alert. Audience: On the pattern languaging does it, I imagine it works well on a conscious level with women, too, because they don't talk in statistics data, they ... Ross: Well, consciously, here's what they're aware of Consciously what they're aware of is a sense of real comfort that they met someone who talks about things that interest them. But they still won't remember what you said. And in fact, if you tell them what you said, they don't care. I, when my early career in doing this, I would tell women after I was sleeping with them, here's what I did with you. And they went, "No, you didn't do that. I, I, I love you cause you're this and this and this.” And I go, "No, that's what I did.” They go, and they just rationalize it. They go, "Oh my god, someone who cared enough about me to learn to talk this way. Wow, great.” Audience: Laughter Ross: I'm not kidding. I'm not kidding. They think it's wonderful that someone cared enough about pleasing women that it would go to all this trouble. ?: Cause he can talk for an hour saying nothing. Ross: Ahhhh. Audience: laughter.
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Ross: You just got stabbed in the throat and in the back.
They're competing to show ... Ross: Yeah. But women compete, too. You should hear a woman talk about another woman's looks behind her back.
Audience: Laughter Ross: Well, wait. He's making a good point. He, he, he's, he's well, he's making a good point. Shhh. He's making a good ...
Audience: Oh yeah. Laughter. Roger: While women supposedly as the theory goes speak more on a bonding terms, you know, "Oh, the same thing happened to me yesterday. I, I, I experienced what you're going through.”
Girl: He's implying that women are naturally better at this than guys. Ross: Yeah, There you go Bunny.
Ross: Right.
Audience: laughter
Roger: So it's more of a bonding pattern.
Bunny: Women are naturally, naturally master bullshitters, we can talk on the phone, we can give rapport to anybody, whereas guys are, can't do it. We're better at this. That's what _____ .
Ross: Right. Roger: Rather than a competing ... Ross: Right.
?: _____ clueless about that and I'm learning how to _____ .
Roger: Competitive pattern.
Ross: But you're, but you're leaving that cluelessness behind.
Ross: And ... Roger: Men are supposedly ...
Audience: Comments from audience.
Ross: And, and, yeah, and therefore, yeah, I agree. And the conclusion, I agree with you, you're right.
Ross: Yeah. Brother Orion: And that's to think about, yeah, how much energy women put into communicating in this way, into understanding relationship. I mean the relationship books are all bought by women for most part to, you know, that's what they use to sell a lot of the glamour magazines, and they're, and they focus as they talk to other people about relationships, the way people interact, what they could have done better, what they could have done worse. And it's now finally that, you know, some guys are, have gotten it together enough, like you guys to come out here and realize it's worth the effort as well. Ross: That right. We came out from our underground lab in Los Alamos ...
Roger: All I'm saying in terms of what we're talking about it seems to work into it, if you can speak the language, the so-called language of women which, according to this theory, is that, you know, they like to bond, they want to get to know one another, they ...
Audience: Laughter
Ross: There are millions of books, there are, I would say conservatively there are at least 500 different titles on the subject of losing weight and making money. But we don't have a world filled with skinny millionaires. So something is wrong somewhere. Ah, what's wrong is they're still giving content. These books are content books where they give different pieces of information rather than getting people to focus on process and form. What I'm teaching is sort of Zen-like. Zen is not about content. Zen is about the process of thought and engaging in different kinds of thought process. Okay? But let's skip; let's move on. What I want to do now is take one minute to turn this off and switch on to a tape that we will not use as part
Ross: Well, but that's not quite what I'm talking about. Listen to me. That's not quite what I'm talking about. I'm talking about the language of process. See, all these books written for women don't really help the women. If they did, they wouldn't need any more books. Think about it. There are millions of books, ... Audience: Laughter
Ross: Doctor Teller and I, yes sir. What's your name? Audience: Roger. Ross: What's up Roger? Roger: There's a book by Deborah Tannin that talks to it, I think the name is called WOMEN AND MEN DON'T UNDERSTAND EACH OTHER. Ross: Yeah. Roger: It talks about how men, women communicate, They speak on like higher _____ planes. They're competing when they talk about sports or politics.
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of the course. ?: That's what we've done. Ross: Oh, but I did want to use this part. I want ... ?: We'll transfer. Ross: All right. ?: This may be _____ to edit. Ross: Well, okay. Can you edit using this equipment? ?: It's a special type. Ross: All right, okay. ?: You're Ross: Okay, but the last part I want is part of the course we're doing. Okay. I want to bring people up now, I want to talk about Manny the Martian. How many people did the exercise? Okay? All right, good. How many new people who have never been to the seminar before, this is their first seminar, did not do the exercise? Audience: I didn't do it, but I did something else. Ross: Well, okay. All right, let's talk to people who ... Audience: Comment from audience Ross: I just went into trance there. Of course if I didn't do it, then I like, implication, you had to do something else. Let's talk to some people who did it and had some fun learning it. Someone raise your hand if you did it and had a fun learning. Why, I know you would do it. One of you come up here. Audience: Laughter Ross: You would go up and go, "My name is Peter Penis.” Audience: Laughter Ross: I don't think ... ?: _____ let me show you _____ penis. Ross: Ah, the battery on this is low. We need to have a battery replacement. By the way, Brother Orion? Girl: Now, how fast do you think I ... Audience: I, I had no idea where to go from there. Ross: There was no where to go from there. Audience: I said, and I said, "Great. Would you like some more?"
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Ross & Audience: Laughter
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Audience: And she said, "Sure.” I said, "Okay.” Ross: Okay. Did you try it with anyone else? Audience: I didn't try that but I did try something else I'd never done before. Ross: Oh. Follow directions. But tell us what you did. Audience: The, the hostess who seated us, very attractive young lady, and ... Ross: I've noticed that's often the case. Audience: Yeah. Ross: The ugly ones are in the kitchen. Audience: Laughter Audience: And I said, she seated us, and asked blah, blah, blah, blah. And I said, I put my hand to my forehead to be, you know, making a gesture, I said, "I know you.” Ross: Ah. Audience: "Have you lived around here for a while?" And I kept my hand on my forehead. And she said, "Yeah, a couple of years.” And I said, "I know where it is. I've been reading a book on angels and you're on the cover.” Ross: Ha, ha, very good. And how did she respond? Audience: And she was, and I was, I was shaking, "My name's Paul.” Ross: Yeah. Audience: And I held on to her hand for a good minute ... Ross: Yeah. Audience: And she's very, very busy, it was, you know, Saturday night at ... Ross: Yeah. Audience: TGI Friday. Ross: How did she respond when you said, "you were on the cover?" Did she smile and laugh? Audience: She smiled, she glowed ... Ross: Yeah. Audience: It was like she Ross: Good. Audience: tilted her head and it was ... Ross: Now that's an example of the kind of thing where if you tell a guy that would work, he'd go, "No
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way, " but women respond to it. Excellent, very good.
wanted to practice that.
Audience: I never would have tried that.
Ross: Okay. But you are, but you will do the exercise? Do it several times. Yes sir.
Ross: No. Well, good, good. Give him a big hand. You're making good progress.
Audience: I didn't do it.
Audience: Applause.
Ross: Why not?
Ross: Ah, the point of the exercise is, is to get you, number one, to get you moving so you can actually say something. And, by the way, this is another exercise where we, where we're forgetting about the content. We're giving you nonsense content so instead you can focus on the process. And the process is to go up, get moving without hesitation, move, say something, and watch the response. And to train your attention to go somewhere other than inward into your own internal dialogue and instead direct it outward and watch the response you're getting. Those of you who did not do the exercise are robbing yourselves of a very important skillset that you need to learn. Speed seduction is not just about knowing what words to say, it's also about noticing responses and paying attention. Hang on. Okay? Knowing what responses to look for and what to listen for is as important a pattern of seduction as knowing all the words. So, who didn't do the exercise? My purpose is not to shame you but to find out if there's something I can do to facilitate you're doing the exercise. Is there something I could have told you that ...
Audience: I thought it was goofy, but ... Ross: It is ... Audience: I, I should do it. Ross: It, hang on. It is goo, wait. Let's get this out of the way. It is goofy. I designed it to be goofy. I designed it to be goofy. If it's goofy then you don't have to worry about whether she accepts or rejects you cause that's not the point anyway. Audience: That's true. Ross: That's the, I made it goofy okay? Audience: I watched people get kicked out of the mall being goofy. Ross: You got kicked out? Audience: Oh yeah. What? Ross: All right. Audience: Applause and cheers. Ross: He gets some kind of tape or something. Get him a tape. That's the whole point.
Audience: I was tired and went to sleep.
Audience: I ran into him when five security guards
Ross: Okay. No problem. I understand, You?
?: What happened?
Audience: I just, I don't know, I just didn't want to do it. It seemed too goofy so I went up to a waitress ...
Ross: Would they physically grab you? They didn't put their hands on you? Tell us.
Ross: Goofy is the point.
?: Tell us the story. Tell us about it.
Audience: Yeah, I guess so. So I went up to a waitress and I, I told her she was ... Ross: No, I don't want to hear this.
Audience: I went up to like five people, five women ... Ross: In a group or separately?
Audience: Okay.
Audience: Separately, and _____ I didn't make it like, I made to a, I made it past like five stores, didn't
Ross: This is not important. My point is I want you to do something goofy because that takes your mind off of having to get a result and allows you, frees you up, to pay attention to the other person's response. You understand? Who else didn't do it? Well, that's okay. You didn't do it? Bad boy. Why didn't you do it? By the way, thank you for this. It's helping.
even go through the whole mall. And all of a sudden I caught beautiful-looking woman in a black dress who actually worked there in a store. And all of a sudden, you know, all the responses were like, "uhhh, I don't know what the hell you're talking about, you know.” Now most of them said they, they don't see any, they don't have any ...
Audience: Because, I, I was, I got, I got _____ onto the concept of frameworks and I got absorbed in that
Ross: Uh huh. So, get to the security guards. Do they come running after you?
whole idea which I hadn't understood before and I
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Audience: Twenty security guards come on to me and store owner ...
Ross: We're having fun. Oh my god, look. You walk in and look at this wonderful scene. Look, look, look.
Ross: What did they say?
?: The ducklings.
Audience: Guy comes up and he's like, "Did you make some vulgar remarks ...”
Ross: The ducklings. ?: _____ two or three words wrong.
Ross: No.
Ross: That's so cute.
Audience: "to a person?" I was like, "No.”
?: I'll say _____ .
Ross: You should go, "We Martians don't understand vulgarity.”
Ross: Look at that. He's out here, so mom's out with her little ducklings.
Audience: Laughter
Audience: Responses from audience
?: Or you talk to him and say, "My name is Manny Martian.”
Ross: Well, sit up here. Come on in. Audience: Responses from audience
Audience: I told him, and, the drill like, "Have you been in the store?" I was like, "No, I didn't even walk through the whole store yet. I was, I just walked in.”
Ross: Come in and have a seat. That's so funny. Get him, give him a big hand.
Ross: Yeah.
Audience: Applause. Response from audience.
Audience: You know, and they're, they're like, "Well, let's go and find out.” You know? And go up there and there she is, you know, standing there
Ross: Did you? Audience: The security guards were ... Ross: We have a special guest. Come up just to say hello just for a second. This is my good friend and colleague and one of the most amazingly fantastically gifted NLP trainers in the entire world. Rex Sykes. Say hello Rex. It's so good to see you up here.
putting up clothes on the rack, you know, and she's like, "Yeah, that's him.” You know? Ross & Audience: Laughter. Ross: Good, good for you.
Audience: Applause.
?: You know what I'd say to him?
Ross: It's so good to see him here. Rex is based in Milwaukee.
Ross: Now, now ... Audience: Responses from audience.
Rex: Correct.
Ross: Now, if you can do this, then you can, then, if you can do this, then it's going to be easy to walk up say, "Forgive the interruption. I just want to tell I think you are absolutely breathtaking and I had to meet you.” By the way, if you were to try this exercise with a haircut and an Armani's suit? Different ball of wax.
Ross: Yes. If you want to get trained in NLP, go here. Did you bring any kind of ... Rex: I brought some postcards on the home study course. Ross: Cool. So at the break if you want to get postcards or talk to Rex ... When are you doing, you're doing a practitioner training, what are you doing?
Audience: Laughter Brother Orion: What did you say to her?
Rex: On Friday we're doing a 14-day training, we've got, I think, two spaces left. If that's, but our postcard will have website contact information.
Audience: I said, "Hello, . Excuse me. Can I tell you something? Hello. My name is Manny Martian. What flavor, flavor bowling ball do you like?"
Ross: Cool. He's absolutely superb. He's an incredible trainer. He's unbelievably good. Anyone here study with Rex before? What do you think?
Brother Orion: Then what did she say? Audience: Response ?: _____ come on in.
Audience: Hey, he allowed to get my trainers training with Richard.
Audience: Laughter.
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Ross: Ha, ha. So Rex is going to be training with us in Cancun, yes. So, I'm excited. Go have a seat.
an exercise in learning to pay attention to people's responses. So I gave the assignment of going out and saying, walking up to women and saying, "Excuse me. Forgive the interruption. I just want to tell you my name is Manny Martian. What's your favorite flavored bowling ball?" And then their job was to watch the response the person had when they went inside to process it and what they looked like when they came back out. okay? So, tell us about it. What did you do?
Rex: Thank you. Ross: All right. Good. Rex: Good to see you all. I'll be here for a little while. Ross: And Rex has also got some other cool skills. He's an actor, he was a magician. The real cool thing is Rex also used to be a street preacher. Yeah? Rex: Yeah.
Amos: Well, I didn't do it last night like I was supposed to. I ...
Ross: An evangelist? That's so cool. Do you ever run into people who you converted back in your early career?
Ross: Put your hand out. No, no. Like that. Aversion therapy.
Rex: Oh, yeah.
Amos: I tried, but I had problems. I had like about four or five very good opportunities and I just didn't do it.
Ross: Really? This is cool. I got to ask you. Like, what do you tell them? Do they say ...
Ross & Audience: Laughter
Ross: Okay, let's talk about that. Let's talk about it. Stop for a minute. So, let's talk about how you know when you have an opportunity. So what do you mean by that? What was the opportunity?
Ross: That is so cool.
Amos: Well, there were women walking by ...
Rex: It's not my job to be a stumbling block. You know? It's my job to allow people to grow and develop in whatever way they choose for themselves and so I go _____ , If they go, "Why are you doing what you do?" I go, "Cause I'm moving on and developing. God bless you.”
Ross: Uh hmm.
Rex: I go, pray to God, keep going.
Amos: And ... Ross: Women were walking by. Amos: Well I was going out ... Ross: What neighborhood were you in? Cause I want to go.
Ross & Audience: Laughter Ross: That's too funny.
Amos: No, no, I was walking along the street and like one instance, I was walking down the street and this waitress was coming out of the restaurant.
Rex: I have _____ . Ross: Cool. Yeah. You know, give them out at the break. And also Rex is going to be a dad soon, right?
Ross: Uh hmm.
Rex: Yeah.
Amos: She was going to get in a car to leave and instead of me going, going up to her and saying something, I just heard a voice in my mind that said, tin, no ...”
Ross: How's that going? When, when is Carolyn due? Rex: July, towards the end of July. Ross: July. Cool. Cool. His wife has the greatest voice. Okay? Do not call 1-800-REXSYKES and try to speed seduce his wife.
Ross: Stop. Amos: "She wouldn't want ...”
Audience: Laughter
Ross: Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, Stop, stop. Now here's where we're going to deal with something we did earlier. What did he say? He said, "I heard a voice in her, my mind. It said ...” What was the sound the voice made?
Ross: Cause she's used to it. Okay. Who else did the exercise and wants to come up and share? Come on up. Amos. Yes. Give him a hand. All right. Audience: Applause
Amos: It said, "No.”
Ross: Rex? Rex? Just so you know what we're talking about, I gave people the assignment, it's sort of, it's
Ross: No. Before it said that, it made a sound. What was the sound it made? Ahhhh.
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Amos: Ah, yeah, something ...
of ahhh?
Ross: All right. I'm going, we're going to play a game, We're going to play a ventriloquist dummy. Okay?
Amos: Ahhhhh. Ross: Ahhhhh. That's right. Now close your eyes. Imagine you see those women and instead of making an AHHH go ahhhh.
Amos: Ahh. Ross: l have to do that sound. So put your hand on my back. I'm your dummy. Okay? No, here's where you operate the dummy. Okay? Now, l want to make that sound in my mind exa ctly the way you made it. So what's the sound I make?
Amos: Ahhh. Ross: Here watch this. Put your shoulders up like this. Look at me. Now drop them as you go ahhhh. Amos: Ahhh. Ross: Yeah. Exactly. Okay, now in your head, exactly, this feels different. Now look. Close your eyes. Now when you see the woman, instead of going AHHH go, put your shoulders up and drop them and go ahhhh.
Amos: It said, "Ahhh, no.” Ross: Before you do the dialogue, just make the sound. Amos: Ahhh.
Amos: Ahhh.
Ross: Like that? Abh? Amos: Yeah.
Ross: Yeah, make that sound in your head. There you go. Want to do a little with him?
Ross: Okay. I want you to try something. Close your eyes. Say that sound again.
Kim: You already got him _____ .
Amos: Ahh.
Ross: You already got him, hahahaha. Okay? Feels different?
Ross: Ahh. Let's do it again.
Amos: Yes.
Amos & Ross: Ahh.
Ross: Now, remember what I said the other day. I said the sounds you make on the inside will determine what circuits you open, what dialogue you engage in. It's not what you said to yourself It's that sound you make before you start the dialogue that determines what circuits are going to open. Now, given what you did, no one could have done it. I guarantee you if you took anyone off the street and had them make that sound in their head, not a single person would have been able to go up and do it. Absence and real stimulus like a gun to their head. Cause then they would have gone "AH my fucking god, I better go do it!" Okay? So, granted that you made that sound in your head, it is not your fault. It's the sound's fault.
Ross: I think I got it. Ahh, ahh. Okay. Now, can you go, ah hah? Amos: Ah hah. Ross: Okay. Put your hand here. You want to help him with this Kim? You want to help him a little bit now? Before you do your major presentation? Yeah? Okay. Kim'll come up and help me with this cause she's ... Kim: We're going to do it. Ross: Okay. Okay. Now, look at me. Can you go, "You ever seen something so delicious that you really, you had to put it in your mouth? It was really good to eat. Ahhhh.” Or, "Have you ever come home from a really hard day and relaxed completely and went ahhhhh?" You ever done that?
Amos: Okay. Ross: Okay? Granted it's the sound's fault, let's blame the sound and tell the sound, "Fuck you, You're never coming around again.” Okay?
Amos: Yeah. Ross: Can you make that sound?
Amos: All right.
Amos: Ahhhh.
Ross: It's like a, if you were driving down the street, okay? And there's a little midget in the front seat and every time you got near a car it went, "Oh my god. Fucking look out. AHHH.” You know? You'd be crashed.
Ross: Ahhhh. Okay. So, I want you to put your hand on my back. Okay, I'm your dummy. Okay, let's do the sound that you made it the first way. Amos: Ahhh.
Audience: Laughter
Ross: Ahhh. Okay. Now can you do the relaxed kind
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Ross: You know. It's not your fault. It's the midget's fault. So you got a little midget sound and you're going to get rid of it. Okay?
Amos: Ahhh. Ross: Ahhh, ummm. Okay, Kim's going to work with you more on this and the entire room. But here's the thing. That is no problem. I understand how you didn't do it. How you didn't do it is that sound that was there. And that sound that was there was a big problem. Right?
Amos: All right. Ross: All right. Amos: had one. Do … Ross: Oh. Let me show you how you do that. Here's the thing that Kim is going to be teaching later today. So when Kim comes up here, you really want to pay close attention. Not just cause she's, looks babe-a-liciously cute in that outfit. You do, Bunny. Your legs are looking good. Ummm. When you look at a pair of legs like that, what sound do you make to yourself?
Amos: Right. Ross: For anyone. Would you agree? Audience: Yes. Ross: I mean, but you know, if you, as you learn to make different sounds in your mind you'll realize. The question to ask yourself is what circuits do you want to open in your mind? Because here's the thing. If you can learn to open the night circuits in your mind, guess what you can learn to do with her mind?
Amos: Uh huh. Ross: Look at him. Audience: Laughter
Amos: I can open up all circuits in her mind ...
Ross: Just look at him. What sound do you make? Make it.
Ross: That's right.
Amos: Ummmin
Amos: But, correct circuits.
Ross: Unmmm. Yeah. Very good.
Ross: She's, her legs are the instant tonality transformer.
Ross: That's right. And now when you think of, of a woman who you're really attracted to and really think, I don't want you to think of that woman right now, but if you were to think about her, what circuits do you think you'd like to have open in her mind?
Audience: Laughter
Amos: Pleasure
Kim: I don't even need to talk. I'll just get up here and flash my legs.
Ross: Yeah
Audience: Laughter.
Amos: Fantasy, fulfillment
Ross: Yeah.
Ross: Yeah. Stop a minute. What if her mind was like the magic door in the story of Aladdin? That if you said the right word in the right way, the door would open? How would you say pleasure in order to open the pleasure circuit in her mind?
Audience: Laughter. Response from audience. Ross: Yeah. Very good. See, now this is fun. Doesn't it feel better to make those sounds? Amos: Yeah.
Amos: Pleasure.
Ross: Okay. Now part of the way you make sounds and Kim is going to be showing you this in a very exquisite way, she's very good at this. I'm thrilled to have her here. Is, look at this. When you come home from a hard day at work, where are your shoulders usually?
Ross: Very good. Now, what if, that's exactly right. It feels good. What are some of the other things, circuits you want to open in her mind? Amos: Pleasure, excitement. Ross: Okay. How would you say excitement to open the excitement circuit?
Amos: Down. Ross: If you, when you take, ahhh, when you really sigh, what do you do?
Amos: Excitement. Ross: How about excitement?
Amos: up.
Amos: Excitement.
Ross: And then you relax them. Drop them, go ahhhh. Do it again. Make the sound.
Ross: Yeah, good. Okay. Kim's going to work with
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you more, good, give him a hand?
Michael: Last night, I went out to dinner with some friends and didn't have the opportunity. So, this morning I decided I was going to have some fun if I could find an opportunity that presented itself. And it did.
Kim: That was more like it. Audience: Applause. Ross: That's good. You can stay up if you want, if you're comfortable. Huh.
Ross: Tell us about it.
Kim: If I'm not doing anything.
Michael: As I came out, to check out the hotel downtown, I, I was, didn't see anyone that looked particularly attractive, just didn't present itself. So I pretty much had given up.
Ross: Oh, okay. Well then, your legs are a good change stimulator. Kim:
Ross: Now, hang on just a minute. Nowhere in the assignment did I say approach someone attractive. I just said approach, but go ahead.
Ross: No, woooo. Oooh, sit down. Audience: Laughter.
Michael: Anyway, well I choose to approach an attractive person.
Ross: Bad thing, bad thing. She knows where to hit. Anyone else try the exercise? Come on up brother. What's your name? Brother what?
Ross: I understand.
Audience: Michael
Michael: So, as I'm getting out of the elevator, all of a sudden there is s omeone there _____ at the door and ...
Ross: Brother Michael, have a seat. I like this. What's the vest made of?
Ross: Isn't that interesting how opportunities just all of a sudden they're there?
Yates: Kind of a suede. Ross: Suede?
Michael: Exactly. And it presented itself and she was startled and she was coming on to the elevator and didn't see and she jumped back. And I said, "Oh, excuse me.”
Yates: Yeah. Ross: I had a lamb suede vest. Women would come up and go, where did they all want to feel this?
Ross: Could I ask you a question?
?: Yeah, that's how it works. Ross: Yeah. Okay, talk. What did you do?
Michael: My name is Manny Martian.
Michael: Well, I was going to do the exercise last night, but I didn't have the opportunity.
Ross: No, but remember, the exercise was, "Excuse me. Forgive the interruption. I just wanted to tell you ...” and you want to pause. Now what's the purpose of pausing? What does it do when you ...
Ross: Uh huh. Michael: So, to, so I thought, well, I'm not going to get to do the exercise so, but I was thinking about it all the time, looking as I watched there with some friends.
Michael: Grabs the attention. Ross: Right. Michael: Well, I had her attention cause she was startled and ...
Ross: Hold on a minute. We're going to play a game with you. Where's my metronome? Where's my metronome? Is it here in the room? Okay. Well we don't have it. You need to slow down. You're talking so fast that even if people want to understand you, it's going by way too fast. I mean, I'm pretty hyper, but I'm going to have to make a cappuccino, cornhole cocktail ...
Ross: Well, so would ... Michael: that was the interruption. Ross: So would Ted Bundy. You know. Michael: Anyway, it worked. And so she, she rolled her eyes back for a second ...
Audience: Laughter
Ross: Now hold on. Show us what she did with her facial expression and her body movements when she went inside. What did she do? Show us.
Ross: to keep up with your speed. So, slow down; we're all listening. Pace yourself. Go ahead.
Michael: She just went back ...
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Ross: Like that.
BREAK IN TAPE
Michael: and looked up for a second and then she said, "I don't have any.”
Ross: I want to go over some of the, the basic tools like quotes, negation, embedded commands, trance words, and most importantly I want to go through context. Because a lot of you I know now have a basic understanding of how patterns work, but you're, you're still not sure exactly in what context which patterns to start with. I know a lot of you would like more of a road map. It's sort of right now you've looked at the showroom floor, you've seen what the car can do, now you want a map saying, "Ross, given that I want to drive here, tell me which patterns to use, " and I will do that, so that when you come out of here, you have like two or three different game plans that you can try. Fair enough?
Ross: I don't have any. Michael: She didn't speak English very well. She got the thing but she just basically said, and I said, "But you have everything you need. Nice to see you.” Ross: Cool. Michael: So I did that. Ross: Cool. Is that it? Michael: That was my _____ . No, there were two. Ross: Tell us the other one, ...
Audience: Yes.
Michael: So I was about ready to ...
Ross: So, you're looking and it's second down, three yards, what play do I use? Now, once you get familiar with doing this, I want you to begin to write your own playbook and call your own play, but I will provide that for you. That's only fair, yes?
Ross: then we need to take a pee break. Michael: All right. Ross: Cause I hear bladders going uhhhh. Michael: Should I go faster?
Audience: yes.
Ross: No. That's all right.
Ross: I know, even though you're going to lie to me and tell me it's not true, I know that there's still a lot of confusion and open loops in the room. I've done that deliberately because I've sort of overloaded you and now today's the day where we tie everything together in a nice package and you're going to feel that sense of completion getting stronger and stronger as the day moves forward. Okay?
Michael: I'll slow down. Ross: I, I ... Audience: Laughter Ross: I have trainer ears. When you have trainer ears, you hear bladders squeaking and bowels rumbling and people leaving the room. Go ahead.
Audience: Okay.
Michael: Interesting. The second opportunity it was actually checking out and they said, "What's your room number?" and I said, "Fourteen ten.” And she said, "Mr. So and So?" It was the wrong one cause I had transposed the numbers.
Ross: Fair enough? Audience: Yes Ross: So, yes?
Ross: Trance posed the numbers. Yeah, go ahead.
Audience: I had a couple of questions about yesterday.
Michael: So, I said, "No my name is Manny Martian. And I'm, well, I would like to ask you a question. Do, what is your favorite flavor of bowling ball?" And she's an African-American lady and she looked back for a second and said, "Chocolate.”
Ross: Okay. I'll tell you what. Hold that and we're going to do this and then we'll go back to your questions. So, one of my favorite tools as we discussed yesterday is quotes. Now quotes does a lot of things. You can use quotes to, as a conversational framework. ”I was watching the most interesting show on TV. They were interviewing a man on the Discovery Channel who makes his living designing rides, attractions. And he said boom.” Got it? You can use quotes to test someone's boundaries. You know, I can't believe, so you can use quotes as what I call a sexual accelerator. -You know? Towards the end of
Ross: Ali, good. Michael: I said, "Me, too.” Ross: Good. Audience: laughter Ross: All right. Have a seat. Ten minute ...
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the time you're spending with her you can test to see if she's ready. You can go, "You know, some guys are so crude. I was at this bar and a guy walks right up to this girl and he says, 'I want to tongue your beaver till you s cream for mercy. ' Did he really expect her to feel that and think about it all night long, Debbie.” Now, do you hear the commands in there? Feel that, think about it all night long? The thing to understand with commands is low play, low key them. I step on them here so you can hear it, but the more you put them in quotes, the stronger you can be with it. Okay? If you put something in quotes you can really step on it cause it's not you saying it. So, here's an example with the famous joke we call Voodoo Dildo. So, I'm going to tell this joke. All right? And when I do a command, I'm going to wave my hands like this so you can hear it. Okay? Right? Audience: Right Ross: So, this businessman is leaving town and he's kind of concerned because he knows his wife is a nymphomaniac.
Yates: This is the end of Side 14 of the Ross Jeffries Basic Speed Seduction Seminar
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nervous, jellified wreck. And she tries pulling it out but the harder she pulls, the deeper in it goes, the more she can feel that unbelievable pleasure. So she figures, "Oh my god. I'm going to have to call 911" And she picks up the phone, calls 911, they don't believe her. She thinks, "Oh my god. I'll have to drive to the emergency room.” She waddles to the garage and she continues to have orgasm after amazing orgasm. She's swerving all over the road. A copy pulls her over. He says, "Okay lady. Let's see your driver's license. How much have you been drinking tonight?" "Officer, I haven't been drinking. It's the Voodoo Dildo.” "Voodoo Dildo, my ass.”
Tape 8 – Side 1 Yates: Welcome to Side 15 of the Ross Jeffries Basic Speed Seduction Seminar
Ross: The famous joke we call Voodoo Dildo. So I'm going to tell this joke, all right? And when I do a command I'm going to wave my hands like this so you can hear it. Okay? Right? Audience: Right Ross: So, this businessman is leaving town and he's kind of concerned because he knows his wife is a nymphomaniac. And he knows that as soon as he leaves town she's going to think to herself, "You gotta get some right now. Go for it.” So he goes to the sex toy shop to see if he can find anything to keep her occupied. He's looking around and amongst the blow-up dolls, sheep and, you know, the different little vibrators and balls, but he doesn't really see anything that catches his attention or interest. He notices behind the counter there's an ornately carved wooden box. And he says to the proprietor, "What's that?" And the guy says, "Oh, that's the Voodoo Dildo. Let me show you.” He opens it up and there on a bed of red satin is what appears to be an ordinary white plastic vibrator. The guy says, "Voodoo Dildo?" And the proprietor says, "No, watch this.” He says, "Voodoo Dildo, door.” And with that the Voodoo Dildo magically rises up out of the box, flies across the room and starts slamming into the keyhole, bang, bang, bang. Just as the door is about to splinter off its hinges and go flying out into the road, the guy says, "Voodoo Dildo, box.” And with that the Voodoo Dildo magically flies back and like a leaf coming gently to rest on the floor of the forest goes back into the satin box. Well needless to say, he's gotta have it. So, a thousand dollars later he wraps it up in a package with a red ribbon, brings it home to his wife, explains it to her, kisses her on the cheek and off he goes. Now, for three days she thinks about it. For three days she can feel the hominess building. She can feel that growing desire, that hunger for pleasure. Finally, she can't take it anymore, she rips open the box, says, "Voodoo Dildo, my koochee.” Now the Voodoo Dildo flies into her, its stroking her at exactly the right angle, with exactly the right pressure, exactly the way she loves it. And she starts to have orgasm after rippling orgasm. She starts to surrender to the amazing pleasure. Well this goes on for five hours. At the end of five hours, she's a
Audience: Laughter Ross: So, and the interesting thing about dildos up the ass that he is, no. Audience: Laughter. Ross: No, no, no, no, no. So, one structure you can use to embed things is jokes. Okay? Another one is poetry, seduction poetry. Now if you're a member of the SS list, we have seduction poetry we from time to time. I'll tell you how to subscribe to that in just a few minutes. It's free for paying customers at least. Audience: Laughter. What is the SS list? Ross: The SS list is a, that's a good question. The SS list is a subscriber e-mail list. If you're on the internet where students from all over the world, 15 different countries I think we have, can exchange stories, can exchange tips, information, what worked for them, what didn't work, that sort of thing. And we'll tell you how to subscribe to that later today. And again, it's, there's no charge, I mean, you know, it's free. There are some rules of etiquette that people have to obey or they get kicked off. I have kicked people off the list before. Can I get some of that please? So jokes is a good structure. Poetry is also very good. Poetry is really, really good. Poetry may not be, you know, technically quotes, but poetry is a way of talking about a subject without you really being the one saying it. I have a poem that goes something like this. Chicks, who has ever used my fascination poem? Did chicks eat it up? Audience: Ooooh. Ross: Now, poetry is really good for phone speed seduction. If you call someone on the phone and go, "Hey, listen to this Debbie. I just heard this amazing poem. Someone sent me this on the internet.” Right? So the poem goes something like this. Have you ever been fascinated by someone who's
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words just seem to captivate you? As you listen so
Ross: It's in the speed seduction book.
close and you start to wonder, "What would it feel like to falling under a spell, ummm, so magic, being spun by the sound of a voice who's rich was spreading on down. Have you ever experienced instantaneous connectio n to the point where your thoughts moved in just one direction? People sometimes say, "Please, just a kiss.” Funny how you find yourself wishing the same wish. Your mind is amazing when you really let it go, as you find yourself picturing, ummm, you know. As those pictures get bigger and that warmth starts to glow, spreading and pulsing where you want it to go. Now what doorway are we using there?
Audience: It's one of the newsletters. Ross: It's in one of the newsletters. Audience: Yeah. Ross: Okay? It's in one of the newsletters. Audience: Response from audience Ross: It gets smaller and darker and fades into space, ... What you've looked for so long you've finally found, what you've longed for and hoped for has finally come round. Okay? Now listen to me. You could call her up, this is all quotes. You're not quoting a person; you're just reading a poem. And now what is the topic of that poem? Fascination? Connections? You can say, and here's what you do. You say, "You know Debbie. As I thought about it after I read that poem, I thought, wow, isn't it interesting how people connect with each other? Isn't it interesting?" This is another great topic opener. Excuse me. Saying, "Isn't it interesting. Isn't it interesting how people connect with each other?" Now, what pattern would you go into there? Incredible connection, which is in your workbook. So, poetry is a great way, again, to quote something. A. very interesting thing is that I and, and we have a classically trained hypnotist here, I think that jokes and poems and stories all work on the same mechanism even though they appear different, one from the other. They all work on the mechanism cause they call connect with the deeper part of the mind. They connect with the playful part of the mind, the imaginative part of the mind, the part that's open to suggestion, that's open to new possibility. ”And when you open to nude possibility Debbie ...” Now, that's called phonetic ambiguity. Phonetic ambiguity in and of itself will not get you anywhere. Okay? It's simply not enough to walk up to a woman and say, "My best thoughts are not from above me, they're from below me.” That's not going to get you a blowjob, okay? And to talk about moving in a nude direction; am I say new direction or nude erection? Now, there have been people who have seen me do this and I am blatant, I am clearly saying nude erection. And I am doing this. Who is, some people were with me in San Diego and I was doing this to a waitress and I had my hands out like this. And I said, "And you take this huge nude erection and you move it deep inside.” And she wasn't getting it. She didn't know that I was saying, they don't get it. But, in and of itself it's not enough. You have to do it as part of a chain of suggestions. Okay? But, so phonetic ambiguity is used within a chain of suggestions to tell the unconscious where they're going to go. All right?
Audience: Body sensations Ross: Body sensations. As those pictures get bigger, visual doorway, and that warmth starts to glow, spreading and pulsing where you want it to go, body sensations, I will tell you all you desire me, I know, you desire me? You step out of what was, invited, slipped inside, what is that? Sexual metaphor. Feels like warm rain between your sighs. And it's not important that you find every inhibition has left far behind. Now listen to this. We're going to do a little boyfriend destroyer. And if in your mind another man is around, watch as his picture drops straight to the ground and gets smaller and darker and fades into space as a picture of us pops right in its place. What did we just do? The boyfriend destroyer. Audience: Laughter Ross: You, well that's what we did. We said, "And if your heart there's another man around, " okay? "Watch as his picture drops straight to the ground.” Now, I didn't say, "Will his picture drop straight to the ground, " I said, "Watch as his pictures drop, drop straight to the ground, " meaning it's going to happen. The only thing you can do is watch or not watch. Okay? "Watch as his picture drops straight to the ground and gets smaller and darker and fades into space, as a picture of us pops right in its place.” Audience: Where do we get a copy of this? Ross: It's in your notes. I think the fascination poem in our notes. Audience: Is it? I don't think so. Responses from audience Ross: Is it in the notes or is it in one of the workbooks? The fascination ... Audience: It's in the little manual.
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So, some phonetic ambiguities are below me, like as in the direction of above or below, and blow me, new and nude. Someone else, what are some other good phonetic ambiguities?
Audience: laughter Ross: Not a breech loader, a repeater. Okay, look. Negation. Negation is very simple. To negate something you just put can't, shouldn't, mustn't, don't ... Now the purpose of negation is to, negation is useful in a lot of different ways. One of the things negation does is it takes any resis tance they might express, expresses it for them and gets it out of the way. So, for example, you can use this if she puts up some last-minute resistance to your physical moves. ”Oh, this is going too fast. We shouldn't be doing this.” Now the rule is to just agree with her. Now the wrong thing to do is go, "Well, why do you think that?" Why, why, why is that not useful to say, "Why do you think that?"
Audience: You're mine. Ross: Yeah, that's another one. Your mind m-i-n-d or you're, as in the contraction for you are, mine, m-i-n-e. That's a very, very frequently used one. Audience: Succumb Ross: Succumb. Audience: Laughter Ross: Yes, when you succumb, that's yeah, succumb is a good one. So you're saying suck come or succumb. The Three Stooges used it, Curly said, "If at first you don't succeed, keep on sucking till you do suck seed.”
Audience: Reinforces ... Ross: It just reinforces the problem. She'll come up with the reasons why she's right. So instead you say something like, like this. Look up here. Ben, Brother Orion. You're, you just, you guys are like noise machines here. What is going on here? I know, but now he's doing it.
Audience: Laughter Ross: It's true. Yeah. Anyone else have a good one? There, there are lots of them. Happiness or hap-penis, you know.
Audience: Laughter
Audience: Hop-penis
Ross: If you keep it up, you're going to be dead meat.
Ross: Hop-penis, yeah. Audience: Response from audience
Audience: Laughter
Ross: What?
Ross: Cause if you're going to act impotent ... Anyway. Never mind, ever again.
Audience: Hot and ought.
Audience: Laughter
Ross: Hot and ought? Ah, that's not a very useful one, but okay.
Ross: I'm just kidding.
Audience: Response from audience. By now
Audience: Response from audience
Ross: By now, yeah, okay. So, anyway.
Ross: No, I'm just kidding. Yes.
Audience: Response from audience
Audience: Could you restate the purpose of that tool?
Ross: Yeah, hot to know. Oh, ah, ah, harden me a minute. I'll walk, get up and go to the bathroom and go, "Harden me a minute.” Twat's that? I cunt hear you. No.
Ross: Yes I can. Negation is useful for the following things. It takes, it states someone's objection and resistance before and, and dissipates it. ”You probably couldn't ...” Let me put it another way. Let's say you're making out with a woman. And she says something like, "We shouldn't be doing this.” You agree with her. Say, "You're right. I shouldn't be putting my hand into your pants. There's no reason for you, you absolutely mustn't feel the pleasure as my finger goes here. I absolutely should not be taking off your blouse and licking your beautiful nipples.” Okay? You just tell her what you shouldn't be doing and how she should not be responding as you continue to do it. It, what it does is it dissipates resistance. Now there's a second and equally useful
Audience: Laughter Ross: No, no, no. Don't use that. Don't use that. No, do not. Okay. Speaking of saying do not use that, let me show you another quick little tool, haha, quick little tool? Negation. Audience: You might want to drop the quick part. Laughter Ross: Yeah. You drop what you want; I'll drop what I want. It's a repeater.
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way to use negation. There's a class of women out there that are called polarity responders. And a polarity responder will automatically come up with reasons why anything you suggest is incorrect. So, negation is very useful for offering challenges. Remember what I said. Do not supplicate, but instead offer challenges and structure opportunities? So, if you were to say to a woman something like this, "You're probably not the kind of person who can look past the surface and see something much deeper, something really worth getting to know.” You know? And then they're going to go, "Well, yes I am ... ... You know, it's probably, you're probably not open and adventurous enough to really want to explore this kind of subject matter further with someone you realize really understands it.” And they'll go, "Well, yes I am. That's not true.” You understand? Now the question is well, how do you know if someone's a polarity responder? Okay? That's simple. It's a matter of observation. If every time you say something they say no it isn't or that's not true. Here's what a polarity responder does. What a polarity responder does is they look for differences. They look what, for what doesn't fit. They take what you offer them and they match it against what they already know and they see what can't work or work, they disagree with. Now, that can be useful. Understand that any strategy is useful. That's particularly useful if you're in business. You want a polarity responder at some point in the loop. You don't want them when you're brainstorming cause they'll kill the idea session, they'll kill the creativity. But after you've come up with an idea, you want the polarity responder to go, "Wait a minute. You forgot about this where it could go wrong.” You want someone to point out the pitfalls. You've just got to keep them out of the loop where they're not useful. Okay? But the problem with polarity responders is they can't turn it off, they're stuck with it. They're stuck with that strategy. Now the problem, what happens is if someone comes along with something that's so outside of their box, their circuits fry because they have nothing to compare it against and they shut down - ehhhhh. Okay? So, this is a useful thing. So quotes, negation, what's another one I can show you? Those are, those are ones we use quite frequently when, when we speed seduce.
course it can process the negative and, in fact, both of them are correct. If you have a strong sense of rapport with a woman and you offer her a negation in your speech, the sense of rapport allows you to communicate directly with her unconscious mind and the unconscious mind actually cannot discriminate between the negative, the positive, it can't discriminate between what is true and false, what is fiction, what is reality. So when you offer a negation it processes both sides. Okay? So your message actually gets through. If, however, you do not have a strong sense of rapport with a woman and you offer a negation statement, they process the negative and that's it. They agree with you. Okay? So, if you want to work with things like, "Well, you probably can't begin to feel that growing sense of arousal for mysterious reasons.” Okay? Do that while she's not in rapport and she will agree with you and she'll walk out. Okay? If you do it while she's in rapport she will follow right along because negation just drops out. Ross: That's correct. Now there's something here to, to realize overall. Overall everything we're showing you for the whole weekend is designed to communicate with that different part of the mind; the part of mind where you bypass the critical factor. Okay? With classical hypnosis what you're doing is you're putting someone in an altered state that bypasses the, the critical factor, the factor that says I can't do this, I can't do that, this is what's possible, this is what's not possible. And you take them into a place where there're a whole new realm of possibilities where anything can be tried on, where anything can be tried out. So, I see you, hang on a minute. Just wait. Okay? So, with the female what you're sort of doing is you're bypassing what I call the criticism factor. The criticism factor is that part of her mind that says I only go for this kind of guy, I only go for a guy who has this, I only have a, go for a guy who has that, ah, I don't do this on the first date, I only do this. Remember the story where the woman said, "I've never done this with a guy I haven't known for at least six weeks?" That's typical. Well the reason she's doing it with the, the Brother who used that is because he's bypassed that part of her mind. Now the problem with the dating game is, you still have to deal with that part of her mind. So you either have to qualify yourself or you have to pretend to have those things. When you use Speed Seduction you're completely bypassing that part of her mind. You understand? So all the tools we're showing you, whether they're trance words, weasel phrases, negation, embedded commands, quotes, the patterns themselves, the conversational frameworks, they're all
Major Mark: I have something on negation. Ross: Yes. Major Mark: If you were to this value say in hypnosis for example, you'd find it a lively debate about negation. Some people say that the unconscious mind cannot process the negative. Others say that of
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designed to bypass those structures. And a lot of what we've been doing this weekend has been designed to bypass your structure in your mind that before you walked in that door prevented you from opening to new possibilities. Do you understand?
Ross: Okay. So let's talk about the part that you're not getting, cause that's what I want to help you with. If fact, come up here, come to the front. John: My biggest problem is the negation button. Ross: No, sit down. Now tell me what you were going to say. What did you just say?
Audience: Yes. Ross: So, we're in a sense speed seducing you into a new realm of possibilities. We're doing to you in a sense what you're going to be doing with women. Does that make sense?
John: I don't know. The negation topic Ross: All right. Actually, as a matter of fact, that's not so.
Audience: Yes
John: It's like ...
Ross: And by the way, if you think I've been rambling the whole weekend and jumping from topic to topic, I have; but I'm doing it by design. Because today is the day where everything gets tied up into a neat little package and you're able to go out there and actually use it. You understand?
Ross: Well, first of all I want you to ... John: _____ . Ross: I'm like the teacher. Spit out, spit out your gum. Spit out your gum. Audience: Laughter
Audience: Yes
Ross: There you go. All right. Now, what were you saying?
Ross: And the other thing is, I want to bring up one point, and Kim pointed something out to me. Thank you, honey. Your observations are almost always right on the money. She said there are a couple of people in here who have a, the mindset of this is their last ditch effort, this is it. And I'm here to tell those people you may be correct, but nonetheless this is not a magic bullet. Speed seduction is not a wonder weapon in, in the sense that you're suddenly going to be able to push a button and use it right away. This is going to take time, practice and dedication. You will get results. I will put you in touch with a community of people who will support you in your ongoing efforts. Okay? And understand that it's going to take some time to get results. If you go out tomorrow and walk up to the best looking woman in the world and expect that you're going to take her home and ten minutes later, your expectations are going to defeat you. You must have the willingness to work with these tools. This is not magic, it's mechanics. The distinction is that magic you utter the words and you get what you want. Mechanics means you have to do the work. But there's a predictable structure to get the results, but you must do the work. I saw your question back there. Now you may ask it.
John: Well, I, you know, I'm forward and all. I can ... Ross: Hang on just a second. I'm not ready. John: My question is ... Ross: Well, I'm not ready. Wait. John: Shouldn't, you really shouldn't ... Ross: Good. John: If someone says like a, you know, "No, I haven't felt that instantaneous connection" you'd use, "You're right, you really shouldn't feel that instantaneous connection" and then go into the, if they haven't felt and all ... Ross: Yes, but you're starting from the wrong place. And here's the wrong place you're starting from. You're, let me say, the way you described your problem is not what's really going on. I think you're perfectly capable of communicating, you're perfectly capable of describing what's going on, where you, up until this moment have had a lack is what you yourself can experience. See, it's not that you can't communicate the patterns, it's that the patterns may not resonate with something that you yourself have experienced in here. So rather than giving you better tools to talk, which I will give you and which you have been getting, perhaps what you need to focus on is learning to experience ... I have an intuition about you. By the way, that's a very good pick-up line, is to say, you know, "Excuse me. I know this is going to sound strange, but I have an intuition about
Audience: All right. With the ... Ross: By the way, what's your name? Audience: John Ross: Let me ask you a question. Are you getting this? John: For the most part, yes.
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you.” Why is that a good line? When you say to a woman, "I have an intuition about You, " what state do you put her into?
Ross: John is incredible and he just keeps getting better and better. Audience: Like Doritos.
Audience: Intrigue
Ross: Yeah, like Doritos. Anyway, John does this thing called drug of choice where if you've ever had any drug experience, you can recreate it. Now wouldn't it be great if you could smoke imaginary marijuana or have imaginary LSD, imaginary ecstasy. I mean, you wouldn't have to go out and score with a dealer, right? You know? What are the cops going to do? They pull you over, go, "All right. Get out of the car. You're under arrest for using your brain.”
Ross: Intrigue and curiosity. So the moment before, she was neutral. Now you've moved her into curiosity and intrigue. I have an intuition about you. And we're all safe here and no one's going to tell on anyone. My intuition is that you have in your past experienced some altered states of consciousness. John: Definitely. Audience: Laughter
Audience: Laughter
Ross: And, and, and, and by that I don't mean yoga or meditation or ...
Ross: Blow into this machine. Zero. It doesn't make any sense. Well, look. I'm here to tell you that you've been mistaken in what you believe about those chemical experiences and here's what I mean. It's not the chemical that gives you the experience. And you're thinking, "Wait a minute. It sure is because I bought a lot of them.”
Audience: Laughter Ross: No, I'm just saying, my, my sense is that you, that you're primary vehicle for having experience, different kinds of experience in life, has been chemically induced?
Audience: Laughter
John: Yep.
Ross: No, no. It's not the chemical that gives you the experience, it's your brain and body's reaction to the chemical. Now let me give you an example of this. I'm going to teach you a little something. I'm not a particularly great artist, but the way it works is there are receptor sites in the brain. Okay? So, if the receptor site looks like this, imagine a jigsaw puzzle. Okay? There are receptor molecules in the brain. And that means the only drug that can fit in has to chemically sort of look like this. Okay? So, what happens is it's like when your brain has that response its because the, the -drug fits in with the receptor
Ross: Okay. Audience: Laughter Ross: No problem. We all go through that phase. Some of us are stuck in that phase of development. Some of us get out rather quickly because they don't like it. That's no problem. You haven't lived till you've seen me on magic mushrooms. Those many, many ... Audience: Laughter Ross: What is that slime trail, oooo. Audience: I will buy that video. Ross: You know, if you ever ...
that's naturally there. Do you understand? Do you understand?
Audience: Laughter
John: Yes
Ross: Yeah, I bet.
Ross: And then the brain has a response. Well, what does that imply? It implies that somewhere in your brain or body there's a natural version of that drug anyway. Otherwise the receptor site would never be there and the drug would have no effect. Do you understand that?
Audience: Laughter Ross: And you'd give it to the news. All right. By the way, are you having a lot of fun? You look different. You look like you're much more relaxed and enjoying yourself. I'm glad. Good, good. You deserve that. Good. Here's the thing. Well that can be very useful. When we do our weeklong seminar, as we do something called drug of choice, John Lavow, who's Richard Bandler's training partner ... Has anyone ever trained with John? Yeah. Is he awesome or what?
John: Yes. Ross: Okay. So if that's the case, that means your brain already has all that stuff running around in the first place. The reason why people take drugs is they want the state and they don't know how to get to the natural response in their brain. That means that you
Audience: Yeah
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actually have the ability to generate any set of responses in there that you want to. Think about that. That means that you can generate a million different experiences for people to share with you. Right?
can learn to do it more effectively. So, of the tools that we've reviewed so far ... John: This and tools that, there, they, you know, expanded my vocabulary.
John: Right.
Ross: Right.
Ross: Exactly right. And with that realization what would it be like if you closed your eyes for a second and allowed that realization that you can generate millions of experiences to share with people? That in there you can learn to feel anything you want to, you can build new feelings. Cause the interesting thing about great nude feelings is to find a person to share them with. Because if you were to go back, all the way back, to the first time you began to ever use your brain and you took this ability with you to generate new thoughts, new feelings, new experiences, to begin to pay attention. If you were to remember the best ~ if you were to remember the best time that ever happened and remember what that felt like, you could begin to understand that you can track feelings in your body. You can pay attention to where a feeling starts, what direction it goes, and from doing that, if you were to go back and read the incredible connection pattern and as you read it, imagine that you could feel what that would feel like from right in there. Then you could use that feeling to guide your words. There's a story called HANSEL AND GRETEL where Hansel and Gretel didn't want to get lost in forest, so they left a trail of bread crumbs that they could follow back. What if these feelings in here were that trail that you could use to lead people to share an experience with you? And the method you used were the words and the tools that we gave you? That would be interesting wouldn't it? So, what I want you to begin to realize is what you thought was a liability and what can be a liability, given the social norms, we have to watch those things, actually it's Just an ability you haven't been using properly. Because your brain has the ability to generate a zillion different states to have all sorts of different feeling and experiences. You can experience a lot of things; it's just up until now you only had one way to do it. But what I want you to know is, it's always been your brain doing it all along anyway. Okay? Now, what else are you having a difficulty with?
John: It's good. It's definitely good. Ross: Well, let me, let me explain something to you then. This, yes it is good and let me tell something. Let's use an analogy. Let's say you've never been able to walk in your entire life. You've always lived in a wheelchair. All of a sudden one day some mad man comes along or something happens, you get up out of the chair. All of a sudden you have a whole new set of things to deal with. You have to learn how to, you know, tie your shoes, you may have to learn how to walk uphill, all of a sudden you could get lost wondering around a neighborhood you've never been before, but you're still better off than you were before. So this, this, the distinction between a new direction that you're efforting towards and having a problem, I think what you're doing is, actually you're, you're experiencing some growth and that's a good thing. Okay? That's all I want to tell you, I mean, is there any part of that has to do with clarity where you're not understanding what's being presented? That's what I want to know about. Cause as you learn to do something, I mean, when, anyone here play a musical instrument? When you first learned to play, did you feel like a little klutzy, like you didn't know what you were doing? Audience: Uh huh. Ross: Okay, but now, you, you can do it with, with ease. Do you drive? John: Yes. Ross: Could they, they didn't take your license away? No? John: No they didn't. Audience: Laughter. Ross: All right. Hold on sheriff. This man's insured with Eastwood. Do do do do. I don't know if they have those ads out here. Anyway. Well when I first learned to drive I had to think of everything, I mean, I had to think, "Oh my god. What do I _____ ?" Now I'm just, you know. You don't have to think about it. These tools will be become natural the more you practice. All right? All right, have a seat. I'm done with you.
John: Just the communicating. Ross: Okay. Well, communication is not a thing. This is a thing. Okay. You hold it in your hand, you know? John: Right Ross: And you can't hold it in your hand while you talk. Communication is a process. All right? And you
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Audience: Applause
part of her mind that, that deals fantasies and that, that sort of thing. Mysteriously. That's another favorite trance word. What does it mean when something happens mysteriously? What part of the mind is being evoked or engaged when something happens mysteriously?
Ross: Oh, oh. See. Now I wasn't paying attention. Look what I did. that's all right. Audience: Response from audience Ross: Sorry about that.
Audience: Response from audience
Audience: Laughter
Ross: What's that?
?: It's that sensory acuity.
Audience: Wonder, curiosity.
Ross: Ah, shut up.
Ross: It's, it's that, yeah, the imagination. ”So notice what it's like as your mind mysteriously begins to think in a new direction.” Good morning
Audience: Laughter Ross: All right. Now let me go through some more of, few more basic pieces of the course. Okay? This is important. By the way, I meant what I said to him. And those of you who ...
Brother Kathleen. What? You can come sit up here if you want to. No? Another one I like. Instantaneously. What does it mean when something happens instantaneously? "Notice what it's like as your mind instantaneously puts a picture of you and I being together in a very special way, right there in that place.” What does it mean when something happens instantaneously? When something happens instantaneously, do you have conscious control over it?
BREAK IN TAPE Audience: What are you going to teach ... Ross: We'll do that later. We'll do that later. We're on. All right. I just want to go through some trance words. Trance words are words that tend to evoke an altered state of consciousness. Now, it's not quite like open sesame and the doors of the cave open, but they do tend to as part of a train of suggestions evoke an altered state. We'll just go through a few of them. My favorite one is imagine. What is imagine do? Imagine evokes that part of the mind that does work on a rational basis. And I will frequently say as I'm offering a chain of suggestions, I will frequently use this phrase; it's one of my most used phrases. Reach for the sky but no.
Audience: Response from audience Ross: No, it's just happening. Okay? Another trance word is suppose. ”Suppose you were to master these skills of speed seduction so naturally and easily that you look back on this weekend as having been the best decision you ever made, wasn't it?" What is supposed do? Suppose is really a command to get out of your rational mind and get into the part of your mind that considers new possibilities, new directions. Picture. Well picture is just like imagine. ”I don't know if you can picture the two of us together - fucking, having an amazing time.” Boy, I better not go into that.
Audience: Laughter Ross: My, one of my most frequently used phrases is, ... Mark: This is so ...
Audience: Laughter
Ross: Is ...
Ross: There's a book you should get called PROVOCATIVE THERAPY by Frank Farrelly. I" repeat the title three times. PROVOCATIVE THERAPY by Frank Farrelly. ”Can you spell Farrelly?" Yes I can. I believe it's spelled F-A-R-RE-L-L-Y. PROVOCATIVE THERAPY, last time I'll say it, by Frank Farrelly. F-A-R-R-E-L-L-Y. Where Farrelly found if he provoked and shocked his clients, he got a lot better change than if he was like real sweet and nice to them.
Audience: Laughter Ross: Is I don't know if you can imagine this as I describe it. So I don't know if you can imagine this as I describe it. What is the command? Audience: Imagine, imagine as I describe it. Ross: The command is imagine this as I describe it. Now, do you have to say that in order for her to imagine it? No, but why take, I, I really want to make sure she does. So I'll say, "I don't know if you can imagine this as I describe it.” The great thing about this word is it tends to turn on and energize that, that
Brother Orion: Bandler Ross: Yeah. Bandler, Bandler especially I think
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modeled it.
Convince yourself What does it mean to convince yourself? What does it mean to convince yourself?
Audience: Laughter
Audience: Responses from audience
Ross: Sometimes you can use shock on a woman if she's resistant. I have done this before. I don't recommend it for beginners. Please don't do this until you've really gotten your feet wet. But I've looked at a woman who was giving me trouble and said, "It's time you and I started fucking (pause) around with the idea ...”
Ross: Go inside and change your own mind. Find yourself This is a really good one. I use this all the time. What does it mean to find yourself? "It's not important, " there's negation, "that you find yourself thinking about me in a completely new direction. If I were to you it's not important that you find yourself thinking about me in a completely new direction. If I were to say to you ...” What is "If I were to say to you?"
Audience: Laughter Ross: "of your realizing that it's not about you making me wrong or me making you wrong. But it's about two people sharing something, that we each really want to feel this. Don't you?"
Audience: Weasel phrase. Ross: Weasel phrase. What what is the purpose of, of a weasel phrase? It sets up all the commands you're gonna, you're gonna give. Are you getting this Amos?
Audience: Laughter Ross: nose of you at home when I said "feel this" I grabbed my crotch area. Shock can be a way to get through to people. There's some of us who are stuck with that method and need to learn some flexibility. By the say, she, this tends to be the meth, method of confrontational training. It was like _____ or the forum. They want to shock you. You know? It's the only way they know how to teach you, "You're a fucking asshole. What are you here ...” You know? Now, I can be confrontational sometimes, and sometimes it's useful. But if it's the only thing you know how to do, you're stuck. Realize. The, the, these are sort of the, the presuppositions of awareness, but they also are trance words. Realize. What does it mean to realize something? I suddenly, to suddenly realize something. Does that mean it's something that you worked out consciously?
Amos: Yes. Ross: Okay. We're going to bring you up later and pick on you. Amos: _____ . Ross: Huh? Amos: I said no problem. Ross: Okay, good. ?: Weasel phrases are also softeners. Ross: Yes. Softeners are anything you introduce or use that makes the language you use acceptable. A softener would be like, "You know, I know this may sound a little strange" or "I hope you don't mind our discussing this. It's very important that when I understand someone that I find out what's really important to them.” Okay? In a sense, with these things what you're doing is you're stepping back from it and making it more acceptable than going straight up and saying, "Find me fascinating. Convince yourself right now.” You know? Now, I know there's some people out there in the NLP community who teach that kind of thing, but let me suggest, that works in the seminar room but not in the real world. If you go up to someone in the real world and go, "The more you listen to what I say, the more it will cause you to find everything I say utterly and completely true.” If you do that in the real world, what's going to happen?
Audience: No. Ross: No. Yessir. Mark: The nice thing about realize also ... Ross: Yeah. Mark: that it's a phonetic ambiguity. One thing that I do is I point to my eyes and go "real eyes.” Ross: Oh, by the way, I heard a good one, man. They do, they have in Los Angeles, they have radio ads for the laser eye surgery. Okay? And they, and, and, and they said "the so-and-so clinic, remember, come to the so-and-so clinic for people who special-eyes ... ?: Uh, got it.
Audience: Responses from audience.
Ross: And they did it very subtly. But they talked about having special eyes. I'm going, "Whoa. That's a real good one.” We did mysterious. Oh, here's one.
Ross: Now, if you do that in the seminar room and, with a bunch of cooperative zombies, they're going to
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jump up and down and go, "Yea.”
Audience: Oh yeah.
Audience: Laughter
Ross: I mean, remember the formula: break her state, focus her attention on you, take control of her internal representations. Okay, that's the pick-up formula. But look, look. I could do that by walking up and, and, and with my dick out going, "(panting) Hi there. Doc say I need to get my inhibitions out.”
Ross: Okay? But, but, you know, that, it doesn't work in the real world. So, watch, yeah, that's right. So, if someone's teach you, you know, some language pattern mastery, you got to ask yourself, "Wait a minute. So that really going to work outside the seminar room?" And I hope you're applying that to what I'm teaching you, too. I invite that kind of mindset. I invite skepticism; as long as it's presented non-rudely, you know, within some rules of decorum. So you want to be able to ask yourself, "Hey, you know, is thing going to work outside the seminar room, Ross?" Yes. Greg.
Audience: Laughter. Ross: All right? I had a guy write me ... Listen. I had a guy write me. He says, "Ross, you know, I've read your books and stuff.” And he says, "I feel like a coward cause I was on the subway and I really wanted to show my dick to this girl, but I just couldn't get my confidence up. Should I have shown her my dick?"
Greg: Can you do softener again. ”I hope you don't mind us talking about ...”
Audience: Laughter
Ross: "You know, I hope you don't mind us discussing this but it's really important when I meet someone and, and I understand them, to find out what's important to them.” Or you can say something like, "You know, I hope you find this line of questioning acceptable and respectable because I do want to respect you as I learn about your cause it's important when I meet someone who I like to learn what's important to them. And I will equally share with you what's important to me.” So, in a sense, when you do this process of persuasion, one of the things that you want to do, seduction, persuasion of any kind, what you want to do is to pace their ongoing reality and not jar it. Now, there's sometimes when jaming their ongoing reality, as in shocking them, is useful. Okay? There are times when you _____ , when you want to interrupt the reality. When you do a pick-up and she's walking along and doesn't even know you exist, what's your state of mind towards you?
Ross: I swear. We get freak mail, man. We get some very sick mail. We, I have a, I have, I'm very cog, cognizant of my security. I have a, a little file where I'm kind of like keeping track of the potential hazards. Audience: Laughter Ross: To give them to, to Brother Pelone. Hang on just one second. So, so, he says, I wrote him back and I said, "You're a very ill young man. You need serious therapy. Under no circumstances are you to show your dick to any woman unless it's behind closed doors and she asks to see it. Or she is a licensed medical professional.” Audience: Laughter Ross: Okay? "And we're taking you off our mailing list. I want no further responsibility ...” We kick people off our mailing list. I mean, if we feel that, that, you know, we ... Yes, question. Audience: Yeah. I just wanted to break her states ...
Audience: Responses from audience
Ross: Focus her attention on you. Well obviously you don't want her attention focused on someone else. Focus it on you, and begin to take control of her internal representations. By internal representations I mean how she pictures things, what she says to herself and what feelings she's going to have in her body. That's very simple stuff. Good question. 'thank you. All right? Ah, let's see. What other trance words are good? Wonder. I like the word wonder. Brother Coby has this thing where he says to a woman, "So let me ask you something. What would a guy have to do to convince your wondrous self to have a cup of coffee with him?" Okay? Wonder, wondrous. What does it mean to wonder? When you wonder, are you
Ross: Neutral. Okay? She doesn't even know you're there. What you want to rapidly do is move her out of that state. But, still, you don't want to jar her. If you do jar her, you want to jar her with humor. That's why when I walk up to that woman and I act gay, "Excuse me, princess ...” I could jar her by walking up with an axe. Right? And going ... Audience: Laughter Ross: "Ted Bundy rules.” Okay? Audience: Laughter. Ross: Would, it would, I'm serious. Would that break her state?
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using your rational thought process? Remember, picture it like this. Remember the other day we had the Brother ... There he is. Look at me a minute. Was it this hand? Okay? You want to consider people like this. Consider this about moving energy around.
Yates: This is the end of Side 15 of the Ross Jeffries Basic Speed Seduction Seminar
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Mark: Chopin started riots.
Tape 8 – Side 2
Ross: Did he really start riots? Are you kidding? Why did he start riots? Yates: Welcome to Side 16 of the Ross Jeffries Basic Speed Seduction Seminar
Mark: Because he created some powerful emotional music and he did it in a time of political upheaval. So when he _____ , for example, it started riots and they banned it. they, they ran him out of the country.
Ross: You want to consider people like this, Consider this about moving energy around. I know those of you with a scientific mindset will go what point of the electromagnetic spectrum is that energy on? I don't know. Okay? You want to move energy from one part of her mind to another. So this is point, the critical part of her mind, the part that's analytical and has all the critical stuff in it. Like, "Well, he's got to have a certain look, he's too old.” You want to take energy from that and move more and more of that energy into this part, the part that imagines, daydreams, fantasizes, where anything can be tried out, where anything can be tried on. Is there a possible pattern here to be spun? Maybe. Some are listening and some are really listening, and some are really not listening at all. Okay? You want to, everything we're showing you is a way of moving energy from one part of her mind to another part. Now here's the really cool thing. This part of her mind may not be very active. She may not really know how to use it. you may be the very first person to come along and really show her some amazing tools to do that with. You're waking her up. You're sort of like, anyone know the story of Helen Keller and Anne Sullivan, THE MIRACLE WORKER? Anne Sullivan taught Helen Keller, who is deaf, dumb and blind, how to perceive the world. She gradually put energy into that part of Helen's mind that could perceive. That's sort of what you're doing, but some of the women, you know, you're like THE MIRACLE WORKER, waking this part up. ”Hallelujah. I can see.” A nude possibility, moving in a powerful new direction. Okay? I'm serious about this. It's an amazing tool.
Ross: Wow. Mark: Okay. Mozart had women throwing underwear at him. I mean, that ... Ross: He's, he was ... Mark: _____ . Ross: The underwear in those days is pretty big. Audience: Laughter Ross: You'd have some muscular guy picking that shit up. I just want to say ... BREAK IN TAPE Ross: This is such a simple understanding doesn't mean . Okay? If you pay attention to where something is, it gives you the choice to move it somewhere else. If you're not paying attention to where it is, you can't move it, you can't do anything with it except _____ . All right? Being able to pay attention to where something is gives you the flexibility and the ability to move it somewhere else. If you're not paying attention to where it is in the first place, the only thing you can do potentially is clash with it. so that's why doing that exercise is important; so you can learn to pay attention. See some of the useful questions to ask yourself when you're doing patterning is to ask yourself where is she now? To ask where to I want her to go? In other words, the average frustrated chump asks questions about where he physically wants to take a woman. ”Should I take her to the movies, should I take her to, should I take her to an expensive restaurant, should I get my car washed?" You want to ask questions where's her mind and where do I want to take it? What are the series of states I want her to experience with me? You look confused are you confused?
Audience: Laughter Ross: Right? That's right. ?: Wow. Ross: Okay? So, those are trance words, those are just some, some of the smaller pieces. How're we doing? Anyone need a break? We doing okay? We'll go for another like 15 minutes before we take a break. What I want to do now is, Mr. Paul?
Audience: Yes. Ross: And what specifically is confusing you. Audience: its such a broad question - where is she Ross: Mentally, where is she? Is she neutral towards me? Is she excited about me? Okay? Here's the thing, you go, I want you guys to understand. Picture this.
Mark: _____ started riots. Ross: What's that?
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Let's use this metaphor. Let's talk metaphor for a minute. And I know what he met her for. Look up here. I don't want any writing down. Okay. Look. Let's, let's speak metaphorically. Let's say that she's a car, okay? And you want her to drive the car into your garage. That's sort of an opposite metaphor, but let's say that's what it is, okay? Okay. Here's the car. Let's say she's already highly attracted to you, she's highly attracted to you, she's ready for a man in her life, she's been alone for a long time and she really wants to be with a man tonight. Okay? How mu ch patterning do you have to do?
panel going, "What does this button do?" Audience: Laughter Ross: "Do I put on my parachute or do I try and get the plane to fly?" You know? "The control inputs are not working. What is this pedal for? What does 'Do Not Push' mean?" You know? That's what you're trying to do cause you have no idea. Do I, so, but when you learn to use language, when you, first of all, learn to pay attention to see where a person's at and then you begin to think what states do I want them to go through and you begin to move their states in a deliberate way, then you begin to have a lot more power and choice. So, if we want to create curiosity, casual comfort, that's good. We can do that with our opening line. You know, a good way to do that is say, "Excuse me. Forgive the interruption. I just want to tell you I think you're absolutely breathtaking. My name is so-and-so.” You know? And then to create curiosity and intrigue, a great line is to say is, "I have an intuition about you.” Now, when you say, "I have an intuition about you, " what does that do? Curiosity and intrigue. She may have a little skepticism like "Okay, tell me, buddy. Show me what it is.” Okay. Now you can joke around. You can go, "My intuition is that if I invited you to sit down and analyze your handwriting and tell you secrets about yourself your best friends don't know, you'd be smart enough and open enough to accept that invitation right now.” Okay? You get the kind of languaging? I'm not going to repeat it word for word because the word for word is not the point. The point is the attitude you want to convey. The attitude is really are you smart enough to do this. You're not really saying, "I think you're, I believe you're smart enough.” You're really saying, "Are you smart enough? Let's see if you can take this opportunity.” Remember what I said. Never ask, never supplicate. You didn't say, "Would you sit down with me and let me do your handwriting?" Or, "Do you want me to do your handwriting?" You said, "You know, I have an intuition about you. My intuition is you're smart enough and adventurous enough that if I offered to sit down and analyze your handwriting and tell you secrets about yourself your best friends don't know you'd jump at the opportunity right now.” You're challenging. Guys, you have no idea of the power of this. If you use these patterns combined with challenging and structuring opportunities. Okay. Here's the wrong way to do it. ”Will you please sit down and let me do your handwriting?" Or "Would you like me to do your handwriting?" Never ask, never supplicate. Instead, structure opportunities and offer challenges. It doesn't matter what specific language is. As long as your attitude is, "Hey, are
Audience: Very little. Ross: Very little. Okay? Now let's say you're not her type. Okay? She's just not physically attracted to the way you look. And let's say she's kind of just a little bit gun-shy. You're going to have to some more work. Okay? So, it's important to be able to assess where the person's at. Now. So, if she starts out, ideally she's going to be highly attracted to you right off the bat, but that rarely happens. So let's say she's neutral. Her state of mind towards you is neutral. She doesn't hate you, she doesn't love you. If you're lying on ground on fire and she had a bucket of water, she'd pour it on you. You know? She may not check on your condition, but you go, "Yeah.” Instead of whacking you with the bucket or going and getting some lighter fluid ... Okay, so she's neutral. What's a good state, realistically, what's a good state to move her from, from being neutral, do you want to move, do you think it, you can move her to absolute slobbering lust feeling like you are the last piece of hot dog in the world? Audience: Responses from audience Ross: Yeah. Audience: Responses from audience Ross: Yeah. Curiosity, intrigue, comfort ... Audience: Loveliness Ross: Now what happens if that's as far as it goes? If the only state she ever experiences with you are curiosity and casual comfort, where do you think this is going to go? Audience: Wrong, wrong, wrong. friends. Ross: Let's be friends. Okay? Now the problem with the old dating game that you used to do before you walked in the door on Friday is the things that you would have to do to get her out of this were all guesswork. You're frantically trying to push the button in the 747 that's crashing. You're in the control
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you sharp enough to take this opportunity?" You don't say it right out. You don't walk and go, "Are you sharp enough and smart enough to take advantage of this great opportunity in front of you?" Okay? That's when you get the little, the little bird waved in your face. Every time you structure you structure your communication, if you can get into the habit of asking, "How can I structure this so it captures and leads the imagination and it either/or or both, structures an opportunity or offers a challenge?" If you don't structure an opportunity what you're doing is begging. What you're doing is saying, "I'm always available.” But if you're like Mark's moving feast, here you are this movable feast, is she fast enough to grab something really good off the banquet table? Then, then my friend, you have tremendous power. There are a lot of different ways to structure a challenge; through the way you use your language. I did this thing where I, where I called this woman. Let me tell you a true story. Cause this is a part I want to get into. In my original book I talked about don't leave messages on answering machines. But technology has changed since 1989. Nowadays a lot women rely on voice mail and pagers. Yes?
who's good enough to do this?" But that's what I did say. And I said, "I wager that you are. My bet is that you are.” Now what does that imply? It implies, "I'm wagering, I'm, I'm putting my money on you. Now you want to be a bitch and a shallow person who disappoints me, that says something bad about you.” You see what I'm saying? Now when I tried being sincere with her the first go around, saying, "Hey, I really enjoyed talking to you. I'd like to spend some time with you without time pressures or interruptions.” Never heard back from her. If you can learn to structure your communication in a way that offers a challenge or structures an opportunity, I could do a whole day on this, you will go bananas. Another way to offer a challenge or structure an opportunity is to say, "Look, I don't have a lot of time.” Oh, the other thing I said to her is, I said, "So even though you realize I'm hard (pause) to get a hold of and I'm ...” Audience: Laughter Ross: "I'm probably too busy to spend too much time with you, you can still feel enthusiastic about reaching for the phone.” Okay? I'm telling you. This is like, this is where your seduction skill will obtain critical mass like these A-bombs you saw going off. There's a reason why I kept showing you that. If you can combine the language patterns with the attitude of nerve supplicate, just structure opportunities and offer challenges, boom. Now I'm going to offer a challenge to you guys. Rather than give you specific languaging on how to do this, I want you guys to form your own support group. And the subject matter of this support group for the next three months is going to be "What language do you use in every phase of seduction to structure opportunities and offer challenges?" We're going to pass around a sheet, exchange e-mails, that sort of thing, e-mail addresses. I want you guys to form your own workshop, your own braintrust and really work on this. Rather than spoonfeed you, I want you guys to come to understand that you are the source of your own change. I'm like the irritant, I'm the little grain of sand that gets into the clam and forms the pearl. Okay? I like to view myself, my mom always used to say, "You're a gadfly.” "So what's a gadfly?" She said, "It's a fly that buzzes around and irritates people and bzzzz.” "Thanks mom. I never thought of it that way, but good.” You can see my mom saying that, couldn't you Kim? I'm sorry. Yes? Brother Orion.
Audience: Yes. Ross: So, I had met this woman at a, originally, maybe four months ago and I left a sincere message on her voice mail. She never called me back. Ran into her again about maybe six weeks ago, got her number again, and through talking to her what I elicited from her is she's very snobbish. She likes to believe she's smarter than any other woman out there. She doesn't like women. In her mind, these are her own words, "Women are shallow and only look at the surface of things.” She likes to think she has more depth than that. So when I called her I left a message along these lines. Now the words are not important. What's important is the attitude that I conveyed. I said, "This is so-and-so, blah, blah, blah, you know. I don't know, I don't know for sure if you're the kind of woman who can look past the surface and see something deeper, something worth really getting to know, but my bet is you are. My wager is you are the kind of person who can stop and imagine being together really enjoying each other's company. So if, and only if, I'm right about you, you can reach for the phone and call me at ... And I hope this, you know, and this is all I can do right now cause this is the only number I have to reach you. And I hope this message has reached you.” Okay? You get it? She called me back like boom. Okay? Now, I challenged her. I said, "Are you, " I didn't say, "Hey, are you the woman
Brother Orion: I was just going to say, I've been to a few of the seminars and, and started, you know, meeting some of the people through you and getting
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everybody's names down. And I've met some of the coolest people, you know, through following through on this. But what you can't expect, you can't expect to get that call that says, "Hey, we're all getting together" and here it just happens to be a day that you're, you're going to be free anyway and just go and do it. You got to take a little bit of effort, you know, if you, or if you have a success, you want to just talk to somebody about it, just put your name on it at random, well it seriously, I mean, if you remember the person that well. Some of the people I didn't remember that well at the seminar, but we go together and we had a great time and I'm still friends with them from a year ago.
from ... Ross: Everyone, almost every woman is motivated by a challenge. No woman, no woman is, is excited by supplication. Except sadists who want to kick you around for that. Okay? If you don't, if you do nothing else but avoid supplicating, you will do fine. And when you're going to make a move towards a woman, there's an exercise you can do. If you imagine a circle in front of you, everyone do this. Imagine a circle in front you, like maybe three feet in front of you. I want you to imagine yourself inside that circle. Okay? And I, consider a move you're going to make towards a woman, like picking up the phone and calling her, and look at that one and hear that one doing that particular move you're considering. And reach out your arm, literally physically reach out your arm and just touch a fingertip on that, and that you in the circle and feel its energy and say, "Is this coming from an energy of supplication or energy of challenge and structuring an opportunity?" Okay? If it's coming from an energy of supplication, you know not to do it. If you do nothing, that's better than doing what's in there. You understand? Sometimes I'll just do nothing. If I can't think of something to do, circle's gone, if I can't think of something to do other than supplicating, I'll do nothing until my mind comes up with a better alternative. You understand? If you, if you're in the woods and the only thing you learn from someone is what, where all the poison things are that you shouldn't eat, then you're home free cause all you have to do is don't eat those, eat anything else. Okay? Stay away from supplication and you'll do, I'm telling you. If you combine that, did you have a good night last night?
Ross: Yes, Brother Kathleen. Brother Kathleen: Well, I have question about what, what you said when you're offering that challenge on ... Ross: Yeah. Brother Kathleen: the phone because if somebody did that to me, I would, and I, I, let's say didn't call them back. Ross: Yeah. Brother Kathleen: And I didn't want to or ... Ross: Yeah Brother Kathleen: something. I would, I'd be more likely to like to want to stay away from that person because I'd be like they're trying to make me feel bad. Ross: Well, you know this technology. Brother Kathleen: And I don't want to feel bad.
?: Oh, I had some fun.
Ross: You know this technology. You know this technology. But most people are going, "Uh oh. I don't want to feel like an absolute rude bitch. I better call him.” You know. And most people, I'm, I'm just saying that with a lot, and it doesn't work with everyone. Okay? But with a lot of people it does work to offer that challenge. So you like challenges in a different way. And understand what I did with her is I used her own languaging. Because this woman had talked to me how most women can't look past the surface and see something deeper. So I just mirrored back her own language with her. Okay? I'm saying it's not about the specific language, it's about the attitude. Yeah?
Ross: You had some fun. Okay. Yeah. ?- I had a kick-ass night. Ross: He had a kick-ass night. We, we don't want to get into it but you had a kick-ass night? Were you supplicating? ?- You think I'm crazy? Ross & Audience: Laughter Ross: Were you running around with a black cape? ?- Yes I was. Ross: Yes sir.
Audience: It, it, it also, this is going to appear, this is going to appeal to some people and it doesn't appeal to others. Some people have kind of going towards strategy and other people having a running away
Audience: You mentioned safety. Ross: What?
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Audience: You mentioned safety and curiosity ...
this is for you to understand and incorporate. Just because the skillset you have is not yet perfected doesn't mean that what you're offering, however imperfect, isn't of extreme value anyway. Even if you do these patterns n ot quite right and you flub it up, you're still going to be creating states of mind and feelings for her that no other guy can. So the challenge is can you walk into a situation where you're not quite sure if it's going to work and still do it without being supplicating. Without going, "Please, I hope this pattern works. Tell me I'm good at speed seduction. Oh goddess, oh goddess.” I guarantee you that will fuck it up. Okay? If instead you go, "Let's have some fun, see what I can do, see how she responds.” If your mindset is not "I've got to get her" but "Hey, let's see what happens.” More progress has been made in human existence through the mindset of "Let's see what happens" than has been made through "Oh my god, I've got to do it.” Let's see if you can join the "Let's See What Happens Club.” Write that, that one you can write down. The "Let's See What Happens Club.” I hereby appoint everyone members in good standing of the "Let's See What Happens Club.” And the dues for staying in the "Let's See What Happens Club" is at least once a day you've got to as yourself, "Let's see what happens" and you go see what happens. And then you share it with someone who's also interested in this technology. Okay? Cause the rest of the people in the world are in the "Oh my god, I've got to make it happen" club or "What the fuck just happened" club.
Ross: Ah ... Audience: Casual comfort Ross: Casual, no I said casual comfort and enjoyment. Audience: Okay. Ross: But safety goes along with comfort. Yes sir. Audience: You had mentioned in getting what language do you use ... Ross: What language, I want you to explore. What languaging can you use in every phase of seduction from initially going up and meeting her to closing the deal, to if you get a number calling her and getting her to call you back that reflects structuring an opportunity or offering a challenge? You can create games, create a quiz game. Okay? Where you go, "All right. Here is a response. Is it structuring an opportunity or offering a challenge or is supplicating, errr" Come up with a creative ways to drill among yourselves for this. I do not want to be the person responsible for your learning. Yes. Audience: Explain supplicating if you would. Ross: Supplicate means to, to entreat, to make earnest, please. If you're the king and the king can pardon you for a crime, you supplicate the king for his pardon. Yes. Audience: There was a couple of times last night when I was running patterns and I noticed myself slipping into that old mode of ...
Audience: Laughter
Audience: Ask permission.
Ross: Or "I wish it hadn't have happened" club. You're going to be in the "Let's See What Happened Club.”
Ross: Yeah.
?: _____ .
Audience: I'd just instantly stop it and turn it into a challenge ...
Ross: That is a compliment of which I am not worthy, but thank you. Thank you. That's a great compliment. I'm not worthy but thank you.
Ross: Yeah.
Ross: Right.
Audience: What were the compliments?
Audience: The result on their face
Ross: Doesn't matter. Anyway, so, don't we have something we have to do now? Okay. Are you going to let me know when we have to do that?
Ross: Right. Audience: was incredible. Ross: Right. Now, here's the real key. Guys, here's the tricky part. This is the tightrope. Okay? The key is this. Can you start with the set of skills that you're not quite yet good at and present that skillset without feeling the need to supplicate with it? Just because, just because you're not completely polished with what you're doing does not mean that what you're doing has no value. I'll say it again. Just because you're not, I don't want writing,
Ross: Okay, let's do it. So how do we do it? ?: They'll walk in Ross: Well, tell them to walk in. ?: I'm not ready yet. Ross: Okay. You're not ready. You'll let me know
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when you're ready. Okay? I'm serious. Let me know. It's up to you, you're running this show. Okay. So, does that make sense?
when you ask them out and, I know I'm not going to be doing this anymore but I'm going to be challenging them, but when you ask them out and they said, "Well me back on a Wednesday ...”
Audience: yes
Ross: They want to see if you'll be their spare tire. But here's my point.
Ross: When I first started doing speed seduction there was a period for like two years where I would on and off supplicate until I learned to stop it. Does anyone know anything about or do we have any former pilots in here? Any military pilots who flew?
?: I'm not needing and buying insurance. Ross: Yeah. Audience: If nothing else comes up, they're available to go with you?
Audience: I'm one. Ross: Urn, fighters? Did you ever fly, did anyone ever fly anything that got shot at?
Ross: Right. Right. So here's the thing, here's the thing. You need to build in in your mind a supplication warning system when ...
Audience: In _____ , I have. Ross: Oh, you have been in planes that got shot at. Okay. Well, one of the things they do with fighters is, modem fighters have equipment looks to see when radar is being turned on and is scanning them. Now why would it be useful for someone in a fighter or bomber to know that radar is sweeping their plane?
Audience: laughter Ross: I'm serious. Go through, what you do is, you go through with a piece of paper and write down all the things that women do that have triggered that in the past and you wire, and you can tell your radar watch for these behaviors and the minute you get the signal, you step out of that and you move in to being challenging and structuring an opportunity. Okay? You need to build in, I have an enunciator that goes, "Warning, warning, supplicant, supplicating ...” I do. I have an enunciator. You know what an enunciator is?
Audience: Responses from audience Ross: Well, it means you could be, you're about to get shot at, okay? So they have a whole bunch of systems in new, in, in, in aircraft to, what they can do is based on the radar that's scanning you, they can tell you the kind of weapon that's about to shoot at you; whether it's anti-aircraft missiles, whether it's guns, etc, etc. Okay? You need to build in an antisupplication radar set - I'm serious about this that tracks whenever that supplicating feeling is starting. Now women are experts at getting men to supplicate. Here's some ways women get you to supplicate. They don't do what they say they're going to do. They don't call you back. You ever have a woman say, "Call me at nine o'clock and we'll talk about going out, " and you call at nine o'clock and you get her answering machine? Have you ever had a situation where she says, "Call me at nine o'clock" and she's there to pick up?
Audience: Warning Ross: You military people, what is an enunciator? What's the job of an enunciator? Mark?: It delivers a specific warning that's caused by a specific cue. Ross: Right. Mark?: So, if it says for example, oil pressure low, number two engine out, eject, eject. Audience: It's the rocking robot. Ross: Yeah. Audience: Danger, danger.
Audience: No, once
Ross: Yes sir.
Ross: Uh, uh, uh. Now is it, did it, sometimes but for the most part, gee, if you think that's just coincidence that she's not there? Chance will you at least 25 percent of the time she's there. So, if she's not there at least 25 percent of time, guess what? She's fucking with you. Okay? She wants you to be a supplicant. Actually she doesn't. She's hoping that you won't. What?
Audience: _____ the statement pay attention to yourself. Ross: That's a good one, too. That's a good one, too. But I'll have one that goes ... Audience: _____ . Ross: Yeah, of course.
Audience: What happens when they tell you, well,
Audience: Laughter
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Mark: You might want to consider another one that says stop paying attention to yourself _____ .
Mark: Okay, I tell her, "I understand. I don't have a lot of time right now. If you can get right back to me at this number ...”
Ross: And pay attention to externally. That's another good one that you need. Okay? Warning, warning. I'm telling you. If you can move out of the energy of supplicating and into the energy of challenging and structuring opportunities, then I guarantee you, I guarantee you, that even if you flub the patterns the patterns will still have a lot of power. I would rather have someone do a pattern half way right with the right energy than do a pattern crystal perfect with the wrong energy.
Audience: And I call her again, once and a while I get her. But she has it set up so that she's very unavailable. Mark: Okay, so what is the message? Okay, you hear all this communicating and everything you say, think, do is always a message, right? Now if in this day and age she is not capable of acquiring a machine for her phone, she's not terribly interested in incoming messages. Right?
Mark: If you get half way through the pattern with the right energy and _____ , she will correct you and she will try to help you _____ .
Audience: Right. Mark: But she is interested in communicating with you when she wants to with her message. Correct?
Ross: Yes sir. Brother. Brother Kim? That's distracting (pause) me.
Audience: Right.
?: Just an example, the last two days I've had phenomenal success and I haven't been able to remember any of the patterns. I'd be like getting into about two sentences and I'd just start to have to go impromptu and it was just using anchors, using challenges. I found challenges would just light them up. I'd start to go into, "Well could I ...” then I'd go, "Wait a minute, that's supplicating.” I'd go, "You know, well, what would it take for you ...” or I'd go, "I guess we can't get together tonight.” And all of a sudden they'd go, "Oh yeah we can.” And it was just interesting to see them go from a point of, "well, " to _____ , "I'm going to make sure this is going to happen.”
Mark: Is that the sort of person you want to be associated with? Audience: No. Ross: Part of being a non-supplicant is knowing when to go "I'm booting this ball.” Audience: Laughter Ross: Punt. Yes. Brother Orion: There's just one last thing on this subject ... Ross: Yes, one last thing. Brother Orion: This is just the reality of the situation. There's so much of this kind of thing going on and there's various strategies for dealing with it. But the real way to deal with it, you know, if you're not, if you're not in a relationship and you're looking to hook up with someone is to meet a lot of people so that you can play the numbers game and win it.
Ross: You missed some great stuff. Audience: Response from audience Ross: Well, I'm serious. Audience: I know. I'm serious, too. Ross: We'll give you tapes.
Ross: Right.
Audience: Okay.
Audience: Yes.
Ross: Okay? Yessir.
Ross: Let's move on from this.
Audience: Okay. A lot of times when you maybe calling a woman and she'll say "I'm on the other line, can you call me back?" How do you know if she's bullshitting you or not or if she's actually on the other line? Cause she's been trying to get you to supplicating or she could be actually wanting to have you ...
Audience: Response from audience Ross: Let's move on from this. But I did want to include that little section because it's important. I want to talk a little bit about, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, I want to talk a little bit about context. I know some of you are still concerned about that and I promised I'd cover it. And again, these are not the only distinctions, these are just the ones that are occurring to my mind right now as I'm teaching you in front of
Ross: He's got an answer. Audience: Okay.
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the room and you're listening. Really listening. That's right. Cause hypnosis requires you say the right words or does it? It's called the breath induction. It's a weird thing, I mean, think about it. If by your communication you can control as intimate as in private, and as private as how something is breathing, that's pretty, that's pretty cool, isn't it? Oh, we'll go to lunch in about 15 minutes. Okay? Let's talk about the context of what you do in person versus what you do over the phone. Okay? Now, basically you can do everything in both contexts. But on the phone a very good pattern to start out with, I really like, when I call someone on the phone and Brother Orion can confirm this, a great pattern to start out with on the phone is the Discovery Channel pattern.
you how to get on the list in a minute. Yeah. Audience: Just a little technical note. Make sure your phone is a good quality phone. I have a phone that when I talk on and I had to get rid of it cause people thought I was on a cell phone. I couldn't hear any distinctions. I went out and I got some phones and called them up, kind of run there and found out what it sounded like at the other end when someone talked on the phone it made a world of difference. Ross: And by the way, make sure you turn off call waiting, cause I hate to have, to be distracted by boop right in the middle of what I'm saying to somebody. Someone did that to me ... Brother Orion: It's Star 70
Brother Orion: You can jump right into it. You get to say, "How're you doing. What are you doing today?"
Ross: It's 70 pound. It depends ... Brother Orion: Star 70.
Ross: Jump right into it. Cause it's typical for people who call on the phone to talk to what they saw on TV. From the Discovery Channel you can move on to incredible connection. And from incredible connection you can move on to the blowjob pattern. Some other things you can do on the phone are jokes and poems. They're really good ways to start out. I want to give you guys this road map. Okay? And I you guys, the other thing I want you guys to discuss among yourselves is transitioning from one pattern to the next. I've shown you that but I want you guys to make that a sub-topic of what you discuss amongst yourselves. Okay? Yes.
Ross: In L. A. it's 70 pound. Okay. Now, look at me, look up here, look up here. The phrase you use, one phrase you can use to transition from discovery to incredible connection is "It's just like ...” And a phrase you can use to transition from incredible connection to blowjob is "The other interesting thing ...” Okay? In person, in person, in person, there are a lot of different directions you can go in person. But in person you can start with incredible connection, you can go to discovery channel and you can go to blowjob. This sounds so, to someone who doesn't know what we're talking about, they go, "What in the fuck is this?" Just give them this little section of the tape.
Audience: Okay. There can be, you can't see the person, so there could be distraction at her end.
Audience: Ross: Yes.
Ross: There could be but she'll let you know that. Generally speaking there's not. And you can also hear responses. When you hear, (deep breath), uh, I've heard moaning on the phone, I've heard ah. When I read the poems, I've heard oh, ah. Those are good signs.
Audience: one of the patterns over the phone Ross: Right. Audience: And then you go meet someone ...
Audience: That's not a good time to run this?
Ross: Okay. Now I'm going to talk about that. Okay? Let's say you do all this on the phone and you set up a meeting. The great thing to do at the subsequent meeting is a pattern we call blammo. Now I'm going to show you the blammo pattern later this afternoon. The blammo is like your coup de Gras. Anyone ever see bullfighting? What do they call that thing where the, the matador puts the sword in the bull for the final whatever that stroke is called? That's your ...
Ross: Yeah, obviously.
Audience: Response from audience.
Audience: You have a list of classical poems, like Browning or ...
Ross: Yeah. Brother Orion loves doing the blammo. Okay. I'll show you how to do the blammo this afternoon. The blammo is a massive sexual
Audience: Oh yeah. Ross: Yeah. Audience: She's in the kitchen making something and her mom's coming in ... Ross: Well, pay attention to that obviously.
Ross: I don't do, we have our own on the list. I'll tell
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accelerator. Okay? And you set up the blammo by talking about how interesting it is that people do things in their mind in a certain way. I'll show you how to do that. And also it's always good to read poetry in person. Poems, poems so on the, so you've got, you've talked to her on the phone and then you set up the meeting. Poems, blammo, jokes and quotes. Remember, another sexual accelerator is quotes. ”I can't believe it, Debbie. Men are so rude. I was in a bar and this man walked up to a woman said, 'Can you imagine me going down on you all night long exactly the way you like it? Did he really expect her to think about that and really enjoy those feelings all night, Debbie?" Okay?
would for a minute. Mark: Oh, sure. Ross: Major Mark. Major Mark: 'Mere are laws of hypnosis. Okay? Like all laws, all rules, there are exceptions. You use them someplace where they're appropriate, other places they're not appropriate. But where hypnosis really gains its power is not in trance inductions, initial suggestions or the responses to those suggestions. Rather hypnosis gains power through repetition. Okay? You can do this within a short amount of time by cycling through the same suggestion over and over again so that with each repetition it becomes stronger or more powerfully implanted. It becomes more native to their thoughts as opposed to another. You can do it through a different type of repetition that is spaced over time. For example, when I do clinical work, I used to do kick-ass nuclear-powered, single-session hypnosis work. They'd come in, they'd tell me what they want to work on, I would fix it for them, I'd show them how to do it themselves, and send them out the door. Okay? And I was charging 75 bucks a session for this . Okay? I had tons of happy ex-clients and I was going fucking broke. Okay? So, this is not my business model. Okay? So, what I decided to do instead was we only do programs now where you come in and you talk about what you want to do, what you want to accomplish and we'll sell you programs. Almost like a health club. You ever join a health club, you know, and they never want to tell you exactly what it costs _____ talk about how good it's be when you're all buffed up and you can see through the window all these people who don't need to be in a health club but they're out there anyway? You know? So, what we do is we come in, we sign you up. Our minimum period now is nine weeks. That's what we consider really a short program and we sell programs up to a year. Now, in order to participate in the program, you must come in twice a week for about an, well forty minutes to an hour and we'll do trance work with you. Okay? Now people come in with something a reporting problem which is what they had on their mind in the first place. But, let's say somebody comes in and they're a hundred pounds overweight. Okay? And so they're thinking weight is what I really need to change in order to change my life. Well chances are there are many things that need to change their life. You will never run out of areas where you can improve in your life. And so we want to get them hooked on the process of change. And so we'll do repeated suggestions not only within a particular session but also repeated sessions over time. And you get phenomenal results. In fact, I can still cure people of smoking in a single
Audience: Where will you _____ . Ross: You can do the poems in the beginning, you can do the poems midway. Poems fit in anywhere. Audience: You said jokes. Well, ... Mark?: Poems all fit in the same category Ross: Yeah. They all do the same thing. Yes, yes. Audience: Between the Discovery Channel and incredible connection, what are the themes that connect the two? Ross: Okay. What is the Discovery Channel about? It's about how people can, what's the ideal attraction. And you say, "And as I thought about it, as I watched the show, I thought, isn't that just like ... the ideal connection between two people.” Think of the Discovery Channel pattern. You're talking about. Okay, the Discovery Channel pattern you talk about how you ride that roller coaster, you feel excited and completely safe and you're fascinated? It doesn't make sense to say to her, "You know, as I thought about it, I thought, isn't that just like ideal connection between two people?" And then you go right into incredible connection. Yes sir. Audience: When you use the incredible connection patterns _____ slight variation from phone to in person ... Ross: Yes. Audience: Ross: Yes, yes. Repetition, yes, you can repeat. With slight variations you can repeat the same thing. You can say, "Remember when we talked on the phone about incredible connections?" Here's how you repeat something. You say, "Remember when we talked about x.” And you just repeat x. Talk about the law of repetition in suggestion in hypnosis if you
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session, for example. You just take the smoking away and you give them something better; that we still got nine weeks left. Where do you want to go? You know?
like when - will really get you laid? "It's just like this poem I read on the Internet. Two eyes across a crowded room, ... A spark electric in the gloom.
Ross: Now, ...
A fleeting glimpse of one with whom
Major Mark: You can ...
You can truly feel free.
Ross: I'm sorry.
For one long beat the contact held
Major Mark: There's another way of compounding through repetition and that is simply compounding different suggestions. That is within a single session or single trance induction or in this case a single conversation, you want to give a series of suggestions through these embedded commands. Now, it doesn't really matter that they are different suggestions. They can even be suggestions heading in different directions. The unconscious mind doesn't care, it is happy to do whatever it is that it thinks it's supposed to do, which is take this in and make it permanent. So you can give suggestion number one, fla, fla, fla, suggestion number two, fla, fla, fla, suggestion number three. Okay? By the time you get to three it's also reinforcing one and two. You hit four and that not only goes in but reinforces one, two and three at the same time.
A time in which you are enspelled. A time in which two souls can meld If only this could be. Then comes a smile to match those eyes A gentle voice invites your sighs A voice as soft as butterflies that brush you tenderly. A voice that flows like liquid gold And warms your senses in its folds And gives in your heart to hold The hope that this could be. Okay. It's the same bullshit, different delivery vehicle. Okay? So, here's what you do. You can call her up on the phone, read her, "Hey Debbie, " quote the poem, "I heard this most amazing poem, " and then go right into the connection pattern. You can do the connection pattern and quote the poem. Do you understand?
Ross: Now the trick is, when you're doing seduction is to come up with a structure that tricks her or distracts her conscious mind long enough not to recognize that you're repeating the same thing over and over, And the way you do that, if I might now, ... Major Mark: Uh huh.
Audience: yes
Ross: This is exactly where I wanted to go with this. The advantage about poems is, let's say you write a poem based on the incredible connection pattern. You can do the incredible connection pattern and say, "Debbie, it's just like this poem I wrote.” Or, "It's just like this poem I read.” You do the poem and it reinforces every single thing almost word for word that you just said in the pattern but because it's put in the structure of a poem, she doesn't think, "Oh, this guy is repeating to me.” You understand? That's the beauty of it. If you take a slightly different format you can say almost the same goddamn thing and reinforce it. And then you can tell a joke based on the same thing. Now we have poems, so let's say, ... let's say you want to talk about incredible connection. We have a poem on the SS list written by Brother Nick, Brother Nick Fortune. Beautiful poem called YOU CAN MAKE IT BE. So let's say you do the incredible connection pattern. You go, "Debbie, it's just like ...” remember I said those words - it's just like and it's just
Ross: It allows you a structure for repetition. And then you get the same effect as if you were a master hypnotist and they were coming into your clinic. Except when they come in your clinic it means something's slightly different. Audience: Laughter Ross: Okay? Are you get, or does it? Are you getting this? Audience: Getting the whole, weasel and vinyl seats, by the way. Ross: Is ... Audience: laughter Ross: Okay. Is it, is the methodology for doing this in the context starting to become more clear? Audience: Yes. Ross: Yes.
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Audience: I've got a question.
sudden I got this really powerful insight about you.” So instead of saying intuition say insight and explain the process that went, you went through beforehand. Does that make sense to everyone?
Ross: Yeah. Audience: The examples you gave of the different patterns to use in ...
Audience: Yes.
Ross: Yeah Audience: in person versus on the phone
Ross: Do, logically, do you see the difference between walking up to someone you've known for a while and saying, "I have an intuition about you.” It just doesn't quite fit. Instead you say, "You know, I was thinking about the people I know in my life and I just got this amazing insight about you, this incredible intuition.” You get it? You have to do a little more setup. So, the only difference between already knowing her and first time talking is, here's the irony, if you already know her, you have to do more of a setup. When you already know her, you need, you need more setup. If you don't know her, you can go right into this stuff.
Ross: Yeah Audience: Are those just random examples or is there a specific reason you chose those? Ross: They're the ones I, they're ones that tend to work really well. You could do the, here's the thing, here's the thing. Let's say I walk up to someone in person and say, "Excuse me. Forgive the interruption. I just wanted to tell you I think you are absolutely breathtaking and I wanted to find out what the person inside was like. My name is Joe Blowjob.” Okay? Okay. What sense does it make to say, "You know, I was just watching the most interesting show on the Discovery Channel.” It only makes sense to keep talking about her. And they way you keep talking about her in transition into the incredible connection pattern is to say, "I have an intuition. I know this is going to sound a little funny, but I have an intuition about you. My intuition is when you connect with someone, someone who you really like, you know that sense, that click, right there, blah, blah, blah, blah. My sense is when that all happens you can imagine a time in the future, say years from now ...” Get it?
Yates: This is the end of Side 16 of Ross Jeffries Basic Speed Seduction Seminar
Audience: Uh huh. Ross: And then you say, "It's just like this show I was watching on the Discovery Channel.” But it doesn't make logical sense in the context of talking about what you think about her to immediately go to that. Do you understand? Audience: Right. I got you. Ross: Another context to pay attention is have you already been in or do you already know her, or is this the first time talking? And you can use the same patterns, you just have to use them in different order. Because, what's your name sir again? Audience: Jason Ross: Brother Jason. Doesn't it just make sense if you already know someone, if you already know someone and you can s ay, "I have an intuition about you, " but you have to set it up different. You can't just blurt out, "Hey, I have an intuition about you" to someone you've known for three weeks. Or three years. What you can do is say, "You know what? I was thinking about the people I know in my life and just all of a
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Ross: I've tried everything.
and yet very effectively. So here's what we're doing here. What we're talking about and what we're teaching this weekend is we're teaching men to communicate in a way that captures and leads a woman's imagination. The understanding that we've been learning together is that men and women don't think the same. That in order for a woman to feel romantic about a man, he's got to touch her in a different place mentally. He's got to open up, not the part of your mind that thinks about the ordinary, mundane things you have to get out of the way, cause you have stuff like that.
Audience: _____ used poetry.
Lisa: Right.
Brother Orion: Ross? You just mentioned poetry. Do you mind if I read someone a poem?
Ross: You have to do laundry? Right? Just cause you're a pretty girl doesn't mean you don't have the tasks of life. You still, I got to do your laundry. Right?
Ross: Oh, no. Sure. But let's set up the context before we do it. Come on up.
Lisa: Of course.
Brother Orion: Come on up.
Ross: You got to pay your bills.
Ross: How do you know Lisa? How do you know Lisa?
Lisa: Yep.
Tape 9 – Side 1 Yates: Welcome to Side 17 of the Ross Jeffries Basic Speed Seduction Seminar
Ross: If you don't know her, you can go right into stuff. Yes sir. Audience: Have you ever tried using song lyrics ...
Ross: You got to do all that bullshit stuff. You got to do tasks and you got it out of the way. And the problem with most men who meet you is they communicate with you in a way where you think about them as a task that has to be gotten out of the way. Okay? And no matter what they do, once you put them in that part of your mind, as a task that has to be rid of, there's, they're gone. There's nothing they can do. They can beg, they can plead, they can annoy, they can pester, they can give you presents, but it don't mean jack shit. Right?
Audience: Applause Ross: Ben, Brother Orion, how do you know her? Brother Orion: I just met her outside. I told her we teach hypnosis and seduction. Ross: Have a seat. Brother Orion: And that we're teaching guys how to communicate with women. Lisa: Can I just stand?
Lisa: Uh huh. Ross: Have a seat. Ross: But the understanding I also want to give them, and, oh by the way, I want you to express what you really think. If you don't agree, let me know. It's fine. If you agree let me know. You agree with what I just said?
Brother Orion: Yeah, have a seat or stand, it's up to you. Ross: Have a seat. Lisa: I'll just ...
Lisa: Yes. Ross: Well, just calm down a minute. Have a seat, have a seat and relax. You're a smoker, huh?
Ross: It's equally true, by the way, how old, young a lady are you?
Lisa: Yeah. Lisa: I'm 22. Ross: Okay, now, here's the cool thing. We're going to have fun. We are not going to embarrass you in an unhelpful, and this is all going to be fun. What we're talking about here, I need, I need to give a context and then we'll turn you loose. Brother Orion: _____ a lot of time, though.
Ross: Twenty-two okay. It's equally true and this is something they didn't know a lot of it until this weekend, that there's another place inside the mind of every woman, I don't care if she's young, old, pretty, plain, there's that place inside where you keep your most special memories? Yes?
Ross: I understand. We're going to move very rapidly
Lisa: Uh huh.
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Ross: That place inside where you explore new possibilities, where you feel safe to imagine things, to explore that place where anything can be tried on or anything could be possible? The place where you keep your best memories, where you ponder fantasies, daydreams, unlimited possibilities. The kinds of things you do, if no one ever found out, you wouldn't even want your best friend to know you longed for. You know that place?
I feel it? Lisa: Go ahead. Brother Orion: That feels really nice. And I, and I think it's amazing how things that have that affect are sort of your saying, you were comparing it to like, oh, those posters that glow in the blacklight. They capture your eye in a certain way or the way like when you're driving along a country road and the sun, like when the sun is setting and the sun filters through the trees. It's like it captures your, your eyesight. It captures your imagination. And when I read a poem, that's what I'm trying to evoke. So, as you read it you can just imagine the kind of imagery that comes to your mind naturally. Okay.
Lisa: Yep. Ross: When a man can learn to communicate with a woman in a way that touches her in that place, don't you think that guy has a different effect on you? Lisa: Oh, yeah.
Have you ever heard a voice that seems to draw you near;
Ross: Isn't it different? Lisa: Definitely.
To feeling a connection, an image growing clear.
Ross: And what happens is maybe you go home. I don't know if you ever do this. You're lying in bed, you find that place in your mind where you think about the things you most want to experience and explore, and it's like suddenly this person is present in that place. You know what that's like?
The more you see desire, me, I know that special place, The person who you've longed for Now you see it in my face. And you begin to notice how wondrous it can feel As warmth inside just glows for us, so lustrous, so real.
Lisa: Uh huh. Ross: Yeah. Can you feel that something you've experienced before?
A tidal wave comes crashing down, powerful and foamy
Lisa: Oh yeah.
And the tremors of an earthquake ripple up from deep below me
Ross: Yeah. It's a good thing. So what we're talking about is one way to do that is through poetry. That if a guy reads you a poem, he can open that place in your mind. Make sense?
Like sweet honey nectar flowing from my lips, A tongue to lap up every drop as quickly as it drips.
Lisa: Uh hmmm.
The fountain of a fantasy, your eyes begin to close
Ross: Okay. So he's going to read a poem to you and ...
As the musky scent of passion starts tickling your nose.
Lisa: Well, what am I going to have to do?
When desire is matched with rhythm, a single distant drum,
Ross: we're just going to want ... Just listen.
Overpowering sensations invited you can come
Brother Orion: _____ .
Along on a journey and deep inside your mind
Lisa: I don't want to be asked anything.
Peaceful and secluded, on passion we can dine.
Ross: Okay, no. We're not going to ask anything.
Aloft on the wings of rapture, together spirits soar
Brother Orion: Okay. Lisa, I, Lisa, you have just have the coolest shirt. Is this not just the coolest shirt?
Wild, untamed and sensuous just like a lion's roar.
Ross & Audience: Yeah.
How long ago it seems since the two of us first met
Brother Orion: I was telling her she got it at a store called Rave and I, and I, and I stopped her because I think it's really cool. I love fabrics like that. I bet it, can
As time is rendered meaningless or timeless better yet.
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Seize this opportunity, this day that we have danced _____ as you sit there, so magically entranced.
?: Before she gets started Ross: Before she gets started, let me just say a few words about . When I heard, the first clue I got that Kim was a woman of extraordinary intelligence, she, she was terrific. She came to work with me and I was talking to her and I said, "You know, it's not important for people to feel connected.” And she said, "I can't speak in the infinitive.” She named the exact framework that's called the infinitive meaning ...
Take with you this rose, a red remembrance of this feeling, To lead you back here now or whenever is appealing. Ross: Like that? Brother Orion: Thank you.
Kim: It means like if you to whatever.
Ross: Ah, she liked it.
Ross: Yeah, it's called the infinitive. She said, "I can't speak Kim:
Audience: Cheers and applause. Brother Orion: How long _____ .
Ross: And I went, "Whoa. She's so sharp.”
Audience: Applause
?: It's mentioned that she's turned on, right?
Ross: Nice, Paul.
Ross: Oh, okay.
Brother Orion: I just want to talk to you for a second.
Audience: Laughter
Ross: Okay. Outside. Thank you very much.
Kim: _____ for a minute.
Lisa: Thank you. Brother Orion: I really appreciate it. Guys, give her a big round ...
Ross: Now there's a challenge _____ . She's on. Kim: Isn't it? Oh no, it was on me. Okay.
Ross: Yeah.
Ross: It's on. Okay. Here's your, here's your marker if you need to use it. Kim is going to talk to you about one of the very most important things you can possibly do which is to learn to use your voice. Because, you know, if you don't use your voice, you're going to be up the shit creek without a paddle, so. Are you ready?
Audience: Cheers and applause. Ross: Now, now, wait until she's out of earshot. How many people think she had a strong, positive response? Audience: laughter Ross: Now notice what he did. He spoke very softly so she had t o really listen. He spoke slowly so she could have the responses he was describing, and what did I do? I set it up so it was okay for her to respond. What did I talk to her about?
Kim: No, but that's okay. I'm up here, so I guess I better do my best. Let's see. Ross: Let's give her a huge hand. Audience: Applause
Audience: Responses from audience
Kim: Stay up here for a minute _____ .
Ross: I talked about how, I paced her ongoing reality. She's a pretty, young girl, mostly guys she meets, they're tasks she has to get out of the way. But then I talk about what it's like to access that different part of the mind, the part where anything can be tried on. So essentially I said, "go into that different place in the mind and from there listen to his poem from there.” Now, if he can do that in a roomful of horny guys and get that result, what can you do in private, over the phone or in person? All right, we're going to go to lunch. It's now 1: 10, when should we come back?
Ross: Oh, I see. Kim: Okay. So. Ross: Doesn't she look a lot nicer than I do up here? Audience: Yes. Kim: I figured if I wore a skirt this short, if you didn't like what I was saying, you'd be entertained anyway. Ross & Audience: Laughter Kim: So.
BREAK IN TAPE
?: Thank you, Kim.
(VOLUME VERY LOW)
Kim: I know you appreciate the effort, huh?
Audience: Applause.
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Ross: I'm entertained already.
And you're willing to let go of the familiar and really step in to difference realities, and that's very important. It's like when you were a kid, and when you were a kid, you're really willing to try on new realities. One day you're an astronaut, the next day you were a race car driver ...
Kim: So, first let you guys know I am not a professional speaker, so bear with me. If I'm not loud enough, just tell me and I'll project better. ?: _____ . Kim: No, I don't think you want to do, that to happen. But, and the only reason I'm up here now is cause my boyfriend told me if I didn't get up here, not to come. So, I'm here. So ...
Ross: I was always a transvestite, but that's ... Audience: laughter Kim: And you were bad. You were bad. But you were whatever you wanted to be at moment, and as a
Ross: That's called the move-away-from strategy.
kid it was really easy to step into new realities and try new things. And as an adult people kind of started
Kim: Yeah, it is the move-away-from strategy. So, let's get started. First thing, how many of you guys here have seen the movie THE TRUMAN SHOW? Did anybody here s een it? Do you guys like it?
stick their little toe in the water and test things, but they're not willing to step completely into a new
Audience: Yes
reality and try it on. So, it's something that kids have that we could all really benefit from. And that movie
Kim: It's a great, great movie. And it made me think of a lot of things. First, for the guys who haven't seen it, let me give you a brief plot synopsis. In the movie there was this guy Truman. And when he was born he was adopted by a corporation. And this corporation put him on a big, huge, gigantic movie set that doubled for the real world for him. So, he's going along and he hits about 30. And then he starts realizing that something's wrong there and that things are being choreographed around him. And he gets really curious and starts trying to escape from where ever he is cause he doesn't know what's going on at all, so he keeps trying to get out and get out and get out. And then they have the guy who created this movie, this show that's on 24 hours a day, starts taking calls from callers. Now the first caller is this lady. And she says, "You know. I don't understand how you had him set for all this time and he didn't even realize that something's going wrong, that something's not right about it.” And his response was, "That people accept the realities that are presented to them, " which is very true in our world. And the second caller was an ex-cast member. And she called in, she was all upset saying, "Well, I can't believe you're doing this to him. This is horrible. How can you do this to this guy?" And he listened to her and he said, "Listen, I think you're more upset that Truman is willing to, was more happy in his cell than he is being out there.” And these two things really made me think, because if you think about it, most of the people out there do accept all the realities that presented to them and they are happier being in a cell than they are going out and exploring new things. But then you have this percentage of people, such as you guys here, who are willing to try new possibilities.
really made me start thinking about all that and it started making me think about you guys. I was like, "God, wouldn't this be great for Ross' students? All these new ideas?" So, today we're talking about your speaking voice. I _____ constrained right now cause I'm very nervous, but ... Ross: You're doing fine. Isn't she? Audience: Yeah, applause. Ross: Bunny, Bunny, Bunny, Bunny, Kim, Kim, Kim, Kim, Kim, Kim. You're doing fantastic. ?: I thought you said you weren't a speaker. Kim: I'm not, but that's okay. Ross: You're doing great. Kim: Okay. Ross: You weren't, but you are now. Keep going. Kim: Okay. So we're going to talk about your speaking voice. Okay? And some of you might be wondering why it's important to have a good speaking voice. Well, of course, it's a nice thing, but isn't it more important than what you say, right? But then, okay. But actually your speaking voice is what first attracts a person or what keeps them there. Cause people want to be around someone who's appealing to them. And if the voice sounds like nails scratching across a chalkboard, then nobody's want to, going to want to be around that person. Okay. So, and in Atlanta where I live there are all these good old boys. All right? Is anybody here from the south? Oh no. You're from the south? Where are you from? You're from,
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yeah, you're from Texas originally. Where are you from.
"But her voice, nobody can stand her because of her voice.” And you go and she's going, "Woo wee, y'all good ole, howdy y'all" and it's just like to whole bar sits and cringes when she opens her mouth. Okay.
Audience: Maryland. Kim: Where?
Ross: I'd be gone by then.
Audience: Maryland.
Kim: Sorry about that. But that's why your speaking voice is important because people do talk about it and people do notice it. Okay? And now I'm going to refer to my notes cause I forgot what I'm going to say next. So ...
Kim: Maryland? Audience: It's on the Mason-Dixon Line. Kim: Oh, god. I'm like that's the south? What are you talking about?
Ross: That just means the information you're presenting is so amazingly valuable that you yourself at times get overwhelmed by it. I think that's only a sign to be even more enthused by what she's presenting. Yes?
Ross: That's not the south. Kim: If you don't talk like this, you ain't from the south, boy. Ross & Audience: Laughter
Audience: Yes.
Audience: My family's from Louisiana.
Ross: That's all
Kim: Well, that's the south.
Kim: Shut up. Okay. So there are many elements to the speaking voice. There's pitch, pace, tempo, pitch, tempo, resonance; your breathing and posture are some things that are very imp ortant to your speaking voice, believe it or not. I'm sure it doesn't seem like it.
Ross: That's the south. Kim: Okay. I lived there. Ross: (Humming DUELING BANJOS) Kim & Audience: Laughter
Ross: I have a question. What about volume? That's important, too, huh?
Audience: Response from audience.
Kim: Volume's important.
Ross: President Clinton over there is from the south, ain't you Bill?
Ross: Did you notice what Brother Ben did when he was up here? Did he speak really loud like ... he was like this, quiet so she had ...
?: I grew up in the south and I, many times when I was a child sometimes _____ have intercourse with my sister.
Kim: Right
Ross & Audience: Laughter
Ross: to really listen.
Kim: _____ , there boy. But if you don't get up to the level of your mother, you're not getting anywhere now.
Kim: Well, volume's important in the sense that you want to use different volumes for different states you want to induce. But volume's important in another way. Each person speaks at a different level. If you're talking to someone who speaks really quietly, you don't want to be blasting them away because people tend to radiate toward people who are more like them. So if someone speaks pretty quietly you'll want to pace their loudness. And that's also something we'll talk about in tempo later because someone who talks really fast can't really communicate with someone who talks really slow.
Ross & Audience: Laughter Kim: But, now on with your speaking voice and how important it is, cause there are all really big old, good old boys in the south. And then you talk to them, you go up and you hear, "Howdy, y'all. How y'all doin?" Ross: Laughter Kim: And it just takes this big guy and it turns him to this little wuss right in front of you, you know. And the women aren't much better sometimes. And there are people with great voices there, but sometimes, there's a woman at this bar and she is gorgeous. My boyfriend told me before we went there, "You're going to see this girl and she is just beautiful.” And he said,
Ross: And this is very important ... Kim: It's very difficult. Ross: This is, and this is very important, thank you, it's a good point. When you do the patterns, I had a
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student demonstrate for me and the woman said, the woman said to him, "Slow down. I want to understand what you're saying.” He was talking so fast that she couldn't process. So one of the things to understand about people is they speak at the speed which they understand.
Ross: So, if you're calling someone on the phone and they talk like this and you're trying to sell them something ...
your voice into the world. Now, we're going to do an exercise and I'll have you come up because you talked to me about breathing earlier. Do you want to come up? Or, he'll, no, you have to have it for breathing. What am I doing? I'm doing posture. I'm sorry. I keep skipping ahead. First we'll do posture. I'll do it with you later. I want, had a guy who wanted to _____ with posture. I don't, can't see him right now. He wants to do it? Okay, come on up then. Okay. Stand up though. Okay, you're going to have to stand up. I might have to get on the stool so I can get above you.
Kim: Then you talk like this.
Audience: laughter.
Ross: Exactly.
Kim: But, for posture we're going to do a really simple exercise right now. And if anybody wants any more help with it later, like any stretches or anything, come to me afterward, because most of the people aren't going to need that. But for people who do, come speak with me. So, what I'm going to want you to do is this. - get on my knees up here. First of all, stand in front of me. Okay, Your shoulders are way forward. There. Okay. Let me get down. First of all, you're standing like, like this. You notice how far your head is forward?
Kim: Uh huh.
Kim: Because they're going to understand, people understand at the pace they speak, like you just said. Okay? Ross: Right. Kim: And I'll give you, you're going to have that for an exercise later all on your own. We're not going to do that with me on stage here. It's something you'll do in the real world out there. Not like it's not the real world here, but, you know.
Audience: Right.
Ross: This is kind of ...
Kim: And how far your shoulder is forward? So I'm going to have you just imagine something. And actually if anybody's taken Tai Chi here or anything, they've probably heard this before. What I'm going to have you do is imagine a string right out the top of your head. Close your eyes. And I want you to imagine this string right through here and I want you to imagine that string goes all the way down through your neck, down through your spine and all the way down. Okay? Now what I want you to imagine is that someone starts to pull up slightly on that string to the point where the head aligns with the neck and the spine aligns all the way down, so that if you didn't have the string, if you didn't have your ligaments and muscles connecting your bones, that each bone would sit right on top of the other until you were straight. Okay. Now, I want you to feel this and get used to this for a moment. And I want you to open your eyes only as quickly as you find yourself integrating part of this into the way that you stand naturally and remembering the way this feels. Okay? How does that feel? Does that feel different?
Kim: A little different. Ross: storybook real world. Kim: It's a little bit storybook. We're all here with the same purpose. So the first thing we're going to deal with is we're going to talk about posture, which I'm leaning down right now. But posture is very important because air is ammunition that you use to project your voice into the world. And if you're all hunched over, then you can't get enough ammunition to project your voice into the world. So now what I'm going to do is do a little extreme exercise with everybody here right now to show exactly how, how important it is. First I want everybody to try, touch, try to touch their shoulders together in front of them. Okay? Yeah, put your stuff down and lean your head forward. Now, I want you all to say, "I have an intuition about you.” Audience: "I have an intuition about you.” Kim: It's not that effective, is it? Kim/Ross/Audience: Laughter
Audience: Yes.
Kim: Now, a lot of you guys to a smaller extent are doing that by leaning your shoulders forward and leaning forward a little bit and closing off a lot of the area where you need to get air so that you can project
Kim: Okay. And you will have to practice this and remember it. But it's a much better way of standing up and keeping yourself. Because now you'll be able to speak different, you'll have a different resonance to be
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able to project. So, does that feel better? Audience: Yes. Kim: Okay. Ross: Now, I want, I'm curious. Let's hear him, put him back in that posture, let's hear him speak from that posture. Kim: We want to get him, we want to put, okay, now speak from this posture first. Audience: Hello. Oh, from the, from the posture I'm in right now? Kim: Right. Audience: Hello, welcome. Kim: Okay.
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Audience: Laughter.
Audience: _____ hear something, I used to, you mentioned you're not a professional speaker. I, I used to teach high school students how to debate. And I've got to say, your speaking is very, very good.
Kim: I'd be like six feet tall, but it doesn't work that way. Ross: But you wouldn't be nearly as sweet. And cute.
Ross: Yeah.
Kim: Sweet? It's never been a word used to describe me, but that's okay. So what I want you guys to do is I want you all to do this exercise. I want you to break up in pairs and do it with each other and do what I did. You saw me push his shoulders back a little bit, help him correct, show him down, where it worked, and all you have to do is say, "I want you to pull up, just put the string down through" okay, and then have them be, be as if someone pulled up on that string, putting, aligning the head with the neck with the spine so that each, if there were no muscles, each bone would sit on top of the next naturally and stay there. What, you want to write it down? Okay. Ross: As if the bones naturally aligned without any muscles or ligaments ...
Kim: Oh, thank you. That makes me feel better. Okay, it, it's up to you whether you want to do what he says. Because I don't know if you, I mean, you can always switch back and forth. I mean, you'll want to eventually stay in this posture but if you want to try speaking from another posture ... Ross: No, I want see it, only for the people at home who can't see him if I provide a dramatic demonstration ... Kim: Okay. Ross: if you were to put him into the earlier posture and say something _____ . Kim: Okay.
Kim: And as if they just sit there one on top of the other ...
Ross: and then get back into the other one. So this is his early posture.
Ross: Because they sit atop each other so perfectly. I want you to recognize in everything you learn there's a potential to learn more. As if, that's a weasel phrase, as if the bones, as if the bones were so naturally aligned that any muscles and, without, as if the bones were naturally aligned without any muscles and ligaments because they sit atop each other so perfectly.
Kim: Okay Ross: for Kim to have to correct. Audience: I want to say I used to coach high school debate and ... Kim: That is different. Ross: Yeah. Kim: Okay. Now close your eyes and go back into that other posture. Remember the way it felt, right there. Okay. Now how does that feel?
Kim: And I change it every time I say it, so however he words it, however it works for you, just do it that way.
Ross: He's got to talk, _____ .
Ross: Right.
Audience: I used to coach high school debate and ...
Kim: So.
Kim: Okay.
Ross: And then it might be useful in this exercise to have the person say, "The rain in Spain falls mainly in the plain" in their beginning posture ...
Audience: I want to say your speaking very good. Ross: Wow, better.
Kim: Okay.
Kim: It makes a tremendous difference.
Ross: Have them say it again in the new, open erect ...
Audience: Applause.
Kim: Okay.
Kim: Thank you very much, for being my first speaker. Yes?
Ross: posture.
Audience: That almost made him about two inches taller.
Kim: Or just, "I have an intuition about you.” Ross: Open and erect posture.
Kim: You know, that is, _____ it does, it makes you taller. Now, if only I could do it every day and make myself two inches taller every day ...
Kim: Oh, god. Okay, split up into pairs you guys. BREAK IN TAPE
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Kim: Uh huh, it does.
everything together and then I had to learn how to shoot. Now, at first it was a little difficult and I had to work at it, but
Audience: It's just natural. Kim: Awesome. I'm glad you guys noticed that. That's great. It does.
then it became natural just to pick up my gun and know exactly how to work it. Okay?
Ross: What did you guys notice?
Ross: And she's good.
Kim: That it moves the location of his voice.
Ross: We just did posture.
Kim: I do okay. I'm sure Pallone could kick my butt. But that would be natural. He's shot much more than me. So, now when you're breathing, a lot of people think, "Ha, I'm a man, I'm going to breathe into my chest.” Okay? But that's not right because if you breathe into your chest you talk like this and you don't sound much like a man. So what we're going to do ...
Kim: And now we're doing breathing.
Audience: Laughter
Ross: Breathing. Do you want me up there or do you want me off your stage? It's your choice.
Kim: I can't help it. I know I'm not as funny as Ross but I'm trying.
Kim: You can stay, but, yeah, you can stay.
Ross: No, you're good.
Ross: Okay.
Kim: So, let's see. So what we want to do ...
Kim: I don't care. Okay.
Ross: It's hard to be funny when you're that pretty.
Ross: Change microphones.
Kim. - Oh, god.
Kim: We already did. I have it over here. And I have it ready to beat him on the head if he's too much. Okay. That's it.
Ross & Audience: Laughter
Ross: Yeah. Kim: Okay. So. Now we're going to talk about breathing, which this part, this did help with already, with your breathing and breathing deeper. We already talked, okay. One second. Let me acclimate again.
Kim: So. Audience: Laughter
Ross: I like that. You know that.
Kim: So, what you're, I'm going actually want to do is breathe in your stomach. Now I need another volunteer. He's volunteering right there. And he's so tall I will stay sitting in the chair cause I'm taller that way. Actually, I don't need to. That's okay. I'm secure. So you can stand up and you have your posture thing going on.
Kim: I know. He likes it or else I would. So ... Audience: Laughter Ross: The other is the Kim Shoulder Hair Pull Control Method. Kim: I haven't had to use that in a long time. I have better ways of control now. So, now we're going on to breathing. I wanted to stop that line a little bit. We already talked about how posture allows you to have the ammunition to project your voice into the world. Now when you breathe, the air is the ammunition. Okay? So where you put your ammunition is very important. All right? No, not there Phoenix. Just cause my hand's down there doesn't mean I'm gesturing.
Ross: Jeez, he is tall. How tall are you? Kim: I know. Audience: Six-five or six maybe. Kim: You know, six foot five guys always like tiny, short girls. Do you know that? Audience: Laughter
Audience: Laughter
Kim: Not all the time. But lots of them do and I don't know why. I don't want to say I know, but I've heard stories. So what I want you to do is first breathe, just breathe naturally. Okay. I'm going to check something here. Cause where he's breathing you can't, you might not be able to see it. But he's breathing high in his chest. So what I want, so I going to have you do is
Kim: Okay. _____ just so cute and you know it. No. So we're talking about where you put the ammunition. Cause I shoot guns so I like this metaphor. Okay? Cause I do, had to learn how to take care of my guns, clean them, get
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first just breathe there, okay? And as you let out your breath, I want you to let out a sound, just an "ah" like, like "ahhh.” Okay? Now I want you to move down here so, out, you're extending out here. Breathe right into where my hand is, okay?
Audience: Laughter Kim: So ... Audience: Laughter Kim: Had the opposite effect, maybe, but I don't know. So, okay. Now just try breathing right here. Fill your stomach with air, close your eyes, cause there's nobody here but us. Okay? And feel your stomach move out as your breath moves in. Keep your chest still. In, okay, there, you're getting there. Okay, that's better. There you go. Now, I want you to let an "ahhh" out with your, as you're, your breath out go, "ahhh.” Okay, that's better.
Audience: Breathing Kim: Okay. Audience: Too much drinking _____ okay. Kim: Okay. Audience: Ahhhh. Kim: Okay. Cause then we're going to move it even lower, down to your solar plexus. And I want you to let this stay still and breathe right into where my hand is.
Audience: Ahhhh. Kim: Okay. Now you can stop. But you need to keep breathing it to there, okay?
Audience: Breathing
Audience: It's all right there, right?
Kim: No, just keep, try it for a minute and let it, keep this still, breathe in deeper right into where my hand is.
Kim: It's all right and down. It's not that you're letting in, it's not really that you're taking in so much more breath, it's not deep breathing. Okay?
Audience: Breathing
Audience: I notice when I lie down, it seems to ...
Kim: You don't have to let out a sound. Just, just breathe into here. Concentrate on breathing into where my hand is. Right into the solar plexus.
Kim: Exactly. Audience: _____ , resonate more down here.
Audience: Breathing
Kim: Right. And that's one thing I was, that, that's a good point. Because that's another exercise. We're going to do the breathing and having you, having you guys do this, dropping the breath down. Now if for any reason anybody needs more help what you want to do is lay on the ground on your back. And then it naturally, the reason it does that is because you're, stand up straight, is naturally when you lay on the ground it gives you perfect posture, or almost perfect posture on your back. And that's why when you lay on the ground the breath goes in deeper. Okay? So what I want you guys to do ...
Kim: Getting better. Calm down, you're shaking. I know, it's harder when you're not calm. Okay. There you go, you're getting there. You don't have to breathe all the way up. Just calm down and just breathe right into here while this stays still. There you go. Okay. Now try breathing right into here, so your stomach moves out as your breath goes in. If you want, you can put your hand on my stomach and feel how it feels when you do that. Ross: Her stomach. Audience: Laughter Kim: Can you feel that? The difference? Could you feel right here on me? Okay? And I don't move. See how there's no movement? Just breathe right into, into _____ right here. Okay. You're getting better. That's better. You don't have to fill your lungs completely, just breathe lower. Okay. That's about getting better. Calm down. Let it just drop. I might need more with him, it's not going down. Don't you know how to go down?
Ross: Oh, by the way, let me just make ... Kim: Okay. Ross: ... a comparison for a point. One thing you can do when you approach an h. b. is if you focus on your breathing ... Kim: Uh hmmm. Ross: ... make sure your breathing comes from here, you cannot be nervous and it's an anchor to stand on, relaxed ...
Kim & Audience: Laughter Kim: I'm kidding. Kidding, I'm teasing you. I'm making you, trying to make you less nervous.
Kim: Right. Ross: ... powerful, balanced state. So one of the
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things, instead of paying attention to internal dialogue, pay attention to your breath. If you keep your breath here, this is very, by the way,
(Demonstrating breathing) Ahhh. That's about all I can get. Ross: Yeah.
Kim: Okay.
Kim: Okay. And then here. Ahhh. There's a little more power, but then when I bring my breathing all the way down, ahhh, it has so much more power when you breathe in deeper. Now you don't have to fill it, for, what he was trying to do at first was to fill his lungs all the way up through his chest, from down here all the way up here. That's not necessary. You're Just breathing deeper, not more necessarily. Your chest ...
Ross: Whoever is speaking ... Kim: Right. Ross: ... please turn off your piece of equipment. Kim: And after you ... Ross: _____ don't take it out of the room. Kim: And after you've naturally started to breathe into this area at all times, it's a good way to notice what your state is. Because frankly, even when I get nervous, I start to breathe a little higher and I can feel the chest constriction. Okay? But when you're naturally relaxed, when you relax, you'll naturally start breathing just into here once you start doing the exercises and getting used to it, okay?
Ross: Your chest Kim: will be still. Your chest will be still. Ross: Just breathing deeper, not more. Deeper, not more. Kim: I mean, by a little more maybe but it's mostly just a change of location into where you're breathing. Okay?
Ross: And be _____ powerful state.
Ross: Now this is profoundly powerful. How many here are martial artists, the study of martial art? How many in your martial art teach you about the importance of centering your breath? They call it the Don Dien ...
Kim: And then, and it'll make you a bit more aware of your state at times. You can tell a lot by your physiology what your state is sometimes, cause sometimes people aren't quite as aware of their states as they should be.
Kim: Don Dien
Audience: So you can't hide your beer gut, then, right? I mean ...
Ross: They call it the Ha Ra, different spots in different, in different cultures but they all talk about breathing ...
Kim: It really doesn't make a difference. I mean, it's like, I mean, I know I used to think that, too, cause I'm kind of obsessed with having a flat stomach. But, it really doesn't make a difference where you breathe. I mean, it doesn't, people,
Kim: Uh hmm. Ross: from here. In the Hawaiian tradition of Huna they talk about it. This has been around for thousands of years in multiple cultures. Try it, okay?
Ross: Most people ...
Kim: Yeah. It's pretty ...
Kim: People are more aware of, of what, of it themselves than anybody else out there because people aren't going, "Hi. How are you doing?" and staring at your stomach. They're looking at your face.
Audience: Comment from audience Ross: Yes sir. Audience: Also, from what I've read, two-thirds of the lung vessels in your lungs are _____ of your lungs.
Audience: Comment from audience. Kim: Well, yeah, but that's different.
Kim: Oh.
Audience: Laughter
Audience: _____ in order to get much better oxygen
Kim: Don't bring the rare exception up, okay? That's the rare exception. So all I want you guys to do is break into pairs and do the same exercise. The reason I'm having you let out the "ahhh" sound is because you can tell that the voice is dropping by the more powerful sound. Cause when I breathe up here, I'll do it for you guys. Okay. I'll change my breathing.
exchange if you're filling the lower area of your lungs with oxygen. Kim: Wow. I didn't know that. I didn't know that. It's good information though. It's more, it's convincing if they don't care about their voice they care about their body or something. Getting some oxygen, yeah.
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?: More energy.
Ross: Ow. Okay.
?: World class cyclists also use this. What it, what's
Kim: On that note, let's ...
Ross: World class psychos?
Ross: Laughing
?: Cyclists.
Kim: all break up and get partners.
Kim & Audience: Laughter Kim: No, not you Ross. They're not talking about you.
BREAK IN TAPE
Audience: Laughter Ross: There are already so many arrows in there there's no room for ...
Kim: (Speaking Spanish) ?: _____ A little bit.
Kim & Audience: Laughter
Kim: Okay.
Kim: At least I don't twist them.
Audience: Comments from audience
Audience: Laughter.
Kim: Okay. There's a whole bunch of people out in the hallway, so I guess I'm going to say it in class. We were talking about stretching and working out as a, to build good posture. Okay. Now the thing that's going on in the world today is a lot people work on computers. A lot of people are engineers, a lot of people are at their desks a lot and a lot of people are driving a lot. Now what naturally happens when they do that is they're leaning for-ward like this all day long. Okay? And they're working these muscles and not working the back muscles. Okay? So what's happening is the chest muscles tighten up and pull the shoulders forward and the back muscles atrophy, Okay. I think that's the right word, I don't know. So, so, I was showing some guys a couple of stretches to stretch out the chest and to strengthen some of the back muscles. Now I won't be able to show you that much in the class but I will show you a couple of stretches. Does anybody want to come up and demo for me? Ben, of course, always wants to demo. So, I'll finally let him up. Come on, Ben.
Kim: No, I think I put them more Ross: What did you just say? Kim: in the front. I don't even bother ... Ross: What did you just say? Kim: Like I even bother doing toward your back. I just do it right to your face. Come on. Audience: Laughter Ross: Watch out for the little ones. They, cause they got to make up for it with the attitude. Kim: If we look this tall physically, we got to look ten feet tall energetically or however you want to say it, appear ten feet tall every other way. ?: What happens is your lungs are right on top of your diaphragm and when you breathe from lower down ... Kim: Uh hmmm
Ross & Audience: Laughter
?: instead of your lungs pressing against the top of your diaphragm, your diaphragm goes down ...
Kim: Ben's like, "Me, me, me.” You know? Okay. So, what we'll do ...
Kim: Exactly.
Ben: Orion.
?: and the air pushes it down and then it shoots it back up.
Ross: Orion.
Ross: Air is power.
Kim: Okay, I'm supposed to call you Orion?
Kim: Oh, okay. And that's why your stomach's distending. You're not taking air in your stomach but you're pushing the diaphragm down with your lungs.
Orion: That's okay. Kim: What, you have a stage name? You're special, nobody's supposed to know your real name?
Ross: I thought you didn't use a diaphragm.
Ross: laughing
Audience: Ohhhhhh.
Kim: He's incognito? All right.
Kim: (slapping Ross?)
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Orion: Daaa
Kim: Pectoralis. I can't believe that muscle left my, pectoralis.
Kim: Do do do. There you go. Okay. So what we're going to do is first do the wall stretch. I've already showed it to you so I'll have you do it right here. This is a stretch, yeah ...
Ross: He's stretching his ... Kim: His pecs. Ross: pectoralis.
Ross: For those of you at home ...
Kim: He's stretching his pecs. Okay. So, what we're doing
Kim: Now ... Ross: what he's doing is ...
Ross: In his case it's the pectoralis minor.
Kim: What you want to make sure is ...
Kim & Audience: Laughter
Ross: standing at a 90 degree ...
Kim: Ouch. So what we're doing here is, he has his arm about three inches above his shoulder. Okay? And what we're going for isn't him pressed up against the wall, it's more of an angle right here. Okay? A deeper, a more acute angle it would be, right here. Okay? Because what we're
Kim: lean like that ... Ross: at 90 degree angle ... Kim: and what I want to make sure ... Ross: at the wall ...
Audience: Turn him so we can see it over here.
Kim: is that you feel it right through there ...
Ross: That's not a bad suggestion actually.
Ross: putting his ...
Kim: Okay. How do we do it?
Kim: Do you feel it?
Orion: Shift to the other side now.
Orion: Uh hmm.
Ross: Do the other side.
Kim: Okay.
Kim: Do the other side? Okay. Yeah, that's a good idea. So what we're stretching out is chest muscles that everybody sits and uses at work every single day. Okay? There's another way to do it in a doorway but some people were having trouble with that so I chose this exercise instead. All right? And you want to do that 60 seconds on each side every day. It's a great stretch for the chest. All right? Yes Mark.
Ross: left arm behind him, palm flat against the wall and stretching his shoulders. Kim: Okay, put it a little, one inch higher, ... Ross: so his arm ... Kim: How's that? Ross: is behind him ...
Mark: You were mentioning to him that he should feel it in certain places. Where should he feel it?
Kim: Is that a little more? Orion: I feel it right _____ down there.
Kim: You, okay, Oh yes. You should feel it, the way you know you're doing the stretch right is you'll feel it from about here all the way down to the middle of the chest. Okay? And you can also do it at different, with your arm at different levels to get different stretches, but the main thing is you want to feel it from here all the way down through here, the _____ .
Ross: His arm is behind him ... Kim: But do you feel it up front _____ around Ross: palm flat against the wall, ... Orion: Yeah Kim: Okay.
Ross: Kimberly, for those who can't see you at home, are listening to the tape, describe where here is _____ .
Ross: stretching his deltoids. Kim: Now
Kim: It's right under the clavicle ...
Ross: What is he stretching?
Ross: Which is the collarbone.
Kim: He's stretching his ...
Kim: Which is the collarbone, about from the, the sternum, which is the breastbone, the breastbone all
Ross: Superior vena cava.
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the way out to the shoulder underneath the collarbone.
Orion: Away from your body, you're twisting ... Kim: Uh huh. You're twisting it back.
Ross: The shoulder bone to the hipbone, and the hipbone ...
Orion: Back. Kim: Back. Take your
Kim: Okay. Now that you've had your anatomy class, let's, okay. Does anybody else have a question? You had a question.
Orion: _____ palm with your body ... Kim: Yes. It helps very much to stand up. Okay. And then what you want to do, and if somebody has trouble doing that, just take your shoulder and twist it back in the socket and feel to make sure it's moving back in the shoulder socket. Okay? Cause sometimes it's not so easy for some people to reach that far behind their back. Okay?
Audience: I was wondering since we just talked about breathing if there's any breathing that's appropriate for doing the stretches that makes it more effective. Kim: I don't really, I mean, of course, you're always better with deeper breathing. I mean, but that'll become natural. I mean this is more so you can open up enough to do the deep breathing. Okay. And have the correct posture. Cause they go together so much.
Audience: All right. Kim: Let me show, I'll show you how to do it. Stand with your back straight, let your arm go. What you're doing is literally twisting back at the shoulder like that, okay? So you don't need to grab it. It's easier if you can grab it, but if you can't, do that. Okay? And now, what you want to do after you've done that, it's not going to work in this room, I don't know.
Orion: My arms kind of fall ... Ross: Does anyone have a hammer and a nail? Kim & Audience: Laughter Orion: _____ keeping it here. Kim: No. Probably, let go.
Ross: Laughing
Audience: Comments from audience.
Kim: Cause it's too cramped. Hold on. Here we go. Here we go. Okay, So what we're going to do ...
Kim: It's probably from being high up. So that's one stretch to stretch out the chest. Now after you've done that what you want to do is take your shoulders, hunch them up, back, and relax them down just like that, because that's going to allow them to reset further back. Once you've stretched out the, because they've been being pulled up in the socket, you're going to have them resetting lower, back in the socket. I did a few stretches and my shoulders actually in three weeks moved back over an inch. From, there's one mo re stretch; we'll try it but it's kind of difficult to show in front of a room. I don't know if you need it and you won't be able to feel it, but let's try it with you.
Audience: Laughter Kim: is ... Orion: Not me. Audience: Laughter Kim: Lean back in the, you have it back in the socket right? Ross: Who's got those shoe mirrors? Kim: Shush. And what you want to do is then take your head, okay? Turn it away from that shoulder, away from the shoulder you're doing with it. Okay.
Audience: Okay.
Audience: Oh yeah.
Kim: What you want to do is put your, grab your arm behind your back and you literally twist your arm back in the socket. You're twisting it in the shoulder socket. Okay?
Kim: Stop the stretch and look down, _____ towards your shoulder. Audience: Oh yeah.
Ross: Does it make cool noise to gross out your nieces ...
Kim: And you'll feel it through this front. Ross: Wow, that's a great _____ .
Kim: Oh, yeah. But you make sure you keep your lower back straight, twist the shoulder back in the socket, ...
Kim: Okay? Audience: Comment from audience
Audience: And you twist ...
Kim: Then you just take it, okay? Take your arm,
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watch me, and you literally, just watch it, just twist it literally back in the socket. Okay? You can feel it. You can feel each shoulder and see the difference. Then you do that, and look down. Okay?
it, Ben.
Ross: Very good.
Kim: So, any questions? Everybody got it?
Kim: You, it's like rotating your shoulder back in the socket is what you're doing. Just one at a time. Okay? And then look over, like you're looking over your shoulder, and look down. Can you feel that right through the front?
Audience: Yes.
Ross: If you need help, I'm here. Kim & Audience: Laughter
Ross: Do you need help ... Kim: No, you don't have it? Audience: No I don't.
Audience: Yeah.
Kim: Come to me afterwards. Okay? Cause it's not the easiest thing to teach. That's why I was kind of reluctant to do it in front of the room in the first place.
Kim: The thing is for the people who can't feel it, okay? For the people who can't, everybody's not going to. If you don't need the stretch, you're not going to feel it. Okay? But if you can feel it, you know you need it. And it's for, the place you'll feel it is there's a muscle here, muscles here called the scalines in the front of the neck. Okay9 And these muscles are, for the people, especially this exercise is for those people whose necks go like that and you can see them popping out all the time. If you can feel them there, you do some, yes, and you were feeling it, too, weren't you?
Audience: Form a line. Kim: What? Form a line, yeah. Everybody come get in the line. Okay. Ross: You okay now? Kim: Yeah. Not for that. Okay. So, next thing, really quick cause this has taken a long, taken a ... Ross: Uh hmmm. Kim: is, the muscles in the front, you stretch them out, right? The second part to that if you need this is strengthening the muscles in the back.
?: No, I was just checking to see if I ... Kim: Were you feeling it though when you did it? ?: Oh yeah. Kim: Okay.
Yates: This is the end of Side 17 of the Ross Jeffries Basic Speed Seduction Seminar
?: For people whose necks go like what? Kim: For people whose necks go forward a little bit like that, those are the people who are really going to feel this. If you can feel it through stretch, if you can't, hey, you're lucky, you don't need it. Okay? And if you have any questions about whether you need it, come ask me afterward. Okay? Cause I'm perfectly willing to talk to you guys outside of this, outside of being in front of the room. ?: Cool. Kim: Okay? Does anybody here have any questions? Audience: Do the other side now? Kim: You can do that on your own. Audience: _____ . Kim: Laughing Audience: It's a good idea ... Kim: It is a good idea to do the other side, but I think you're the only one whose actually been sitting doing
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strengthened, Okay? I knew this took a while but so many people were asking about it that I knew we should do it in the seminar.
Tape 9 – Side 2 Yates: Welcome to Side 18 of the Ross Jeffries Basic Speed Seduction Seminar
Ross: Now, now the reason why all the posture is important is remember, the posture is going to determine how you can get to the breath ...
Kim: I was kind of reluctant to do it in front of the room in the first place.
Kim: Uh huh
?: Forma line.
Kim: And that'll determine ...
Kim: What? Form a line. Everybody come get in the line. Okay.
Ross: _____ .
Ross: _____ determine how you're able to speak.
Kim: And we're not talking about pitch and resonance today, but naturally from proper breathing and proper posture, the pitch and resonance will start to follow. I mean on the tape, our exercises, but we're limited ...
Ross: You okay now? Kim: Yeah. Not for that. Okay. So, next thing, really quick cause this has taken a long, taken a lot, is the muscles in the front, you stretch them out, right? The second part to that if you need this is strengthening the muscles in the back. The rhomboids, the, I'd say the rear delts and the rhomboids are the two most important. Okay? In the back for this. Free weight exercise for rear delts. So you _____ just like this, straight back. Yeah. Well you can do it, you can either do it with your arms, arms flexed or straight. I asked a personal trainer, she told me straight was better, straighter, just a little bit, straight back, and you're going to feel it right there. Okay? Yeah?
Ross: What tape would that be? Kim: _____ to time today. My tape. How to Speak with Voice. Ross: Laughing Kim: So. But on the other, but those that ... Ross: Wait a minute. Are those tapes available? Could they order them at, today some time? From Dr. Yates? Kim: Oh yes.
Audience: Would it be better to do those like lying down on a bench or, or bending ...
Ross: Laughing
Kim: No, you can't lay on a bench. You can do it sitting or you can do it standing. You cannot do it laying down. You can do it sitting and do it like that, but you cannot do it laying, I wouldn't do it laying down on the bench. I mean, that's kind of awkward anyway. There are machines for it in the gym. And rhomboids, quickly, hands behind back, like this. Can you guys see or no?
Kim: From Dr. Yates in the back of the room right there. So, now, but we're not going to have time to get to those today, so we're just going to focus on a few elements of the voice today. All the metaphors on the tape, I'm not going to have time to do them today, either. There's a lot more on the tape, but this is just kind of a sampling and get you guys on the road to a good speaking voice. And believe me, before I used to have a horrible speaking voice. It was higher, no resonance, I had horrible posture arid through these exercises and all that, I changed my voice and I changed my posture. It's very different. So it really does work. I'm an example. So.
Audience: No.
Ross: She liked it so much, she bought the company.
Kim: Well, you don't have to do it. Everybody just, just sit down and watch for this one, okay? Cause everybody, cause you're not going to be able to see if you do it. Hands behind your back like this and you squeeze your scapula, your shoulder blades together and look up and hold it three seconds. And do that, repeat it 15 times. And that'll get your rhomboids
Kim: If I could afford to buy your company, hon, I would be a very wealthy woman.
Kim: No, because you have to do it, they're the rear muscle. If you're doing it on a bench, you're doing the chest. Audience: No, I mean laying, laying down on a bench.
Audience: Laughter Kim: Okay. Now, the next thing we're going to talk about is inflection, Now inflection's really important for delivering your patterns correctly. There are three ways of speaking. Okay? You can speak with in
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command language, you can ask questions, or you can make statements. Okay? Now statements are just, you have a pretty flat tonality when you're making a statement. You have a pretty flattened, flat inflection. So we're not going to deal with that today. Cause what I've seen with speed seducers a lot of the time is problems with commands and questions. Okay? Yes.
airport. I got there, my flight was leaving Atlanta an hour late, right? So we get there, go have dinner and come back 15 minutes before the flight and they go, "Well, sorry ma'am, we gave your seat away.” Friday night, I said, "No, cause I'm getting on this plane.” And he looked at me and he said, "Well I'm sorry, can you, you need to go in the morning.” And I said, "No.” I said, "If I have to talk to you, your supervisor, his supervisor, his supervisor, and owner of this company, I'm getting on that plane.”
Audience: Could you define what inflection means please? Kim: Inflection is just the raising and lowering of the voice, the tone of the voice in a sentence.
Ross: Laughing Kim: And there was no question in my voice ...
Audience: Okay. Thank you.
Audience: Laughter
Kim: Okay? And generally when you're making a command, the inflection drops at the end of the sentence. And when you're asking a question, the inflection goes, goes up. So, for example, if you're asking someone to go out with you and said, "(Breath) Let's go out.” That's asking them a question. But if you say, "Let's go out" you're giving a command. Now the problem ...
Kim: that I was getting on that plane that night, cause I wasn't coming back the next morning. Okay? If I had said, "Well, are you sure? I'm, no, I'm getting on the plane.” Audience: Laughter Kim: Do you really think I would have been on that plane or would I have been sitting my ass here Saturday morning instead of Friday night? See? So it's very important whether you, how your inflection is when you speak to a person.
Ross: "Let's go out?" Kim: "Let's go out?" Ross: That's a ...
Ross: And by the way, she got on the flight. Tell them what they did to get you on the flight.
Kim: That's ... Ross: _____ .
Kim: Oh. They, they had already given away my seat, they, they'd closed the doors and were about to pull away. The guard started frantically calling on the phone, said, "Okay, we're holding the plane for you, holding the plane, " frantically calling, went, opened the plane, pulled the guy off and gave me my seat.
Kim: Yeah. Because you're giving them the opportunity to say no if you're asking them a question, but if you're giving a command, they're much likely to just, much more likely to go along with you and just say, "Okay, let's go.” All right? So, let's see, where am I?
Audience: Laughter and applause
Ross: Plus an example would be like, I don't know, so Kim if you can ...
Kim: Okay? And my, yeah, and my boyfriend was there, who is a master persuader, and I was doing such a good job he didn't even open his mouth.
Kim: What? Ross: Closing _____ language from a pattern and you give the night inflection and correct _____ .
Audience: Laugher Kim: Okay. Do you have a pen, Ross?
Kim: We're going to do that later.
Ross: Yes.
Ross: Okay.
Kim: Here.
Kim: Okay. (Laughing)
Ross: I almost said, "Yes, sir.” Yes, ma'arn.
Ross: _____ .
Kim: Okay. Cause what we're going to do is, how are we for time?
Audience: Laughter Kim: Do that later. Yes, that is, that is command. For a good example of command language versus non-command language, on my way here I was in the
Ross: Ah ... Kim: Now that's a question tonality.
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Ross: Like a, like another ten minutes. Can you do it in ten or do you need more?
dropping your tonality Just slightly when you embed a command. Ross: Why am I leaning on it?
Kim: Ah, I need more.
Kim: He leans, I'm going to say, he leans on it because he wants you to hear it consciously so you can understand how to do it yourself But when you're doing this with a woman, you only want to have it slip 'in unconsciously. She doesn't want, you don't want her to hear that consciously. So you drop it maybe just slightly in pitch for the verb that you're doing and whatever command comes after it. Like you're saying, "Feel horny.” You're dropping your tonality slightly on those two words only. Just slightly. Cause it's like, "What's it like when you go inside and come up?" and, and not dropping it a whole bunch. Mark's a perfect example. None of you hear when he drops his voice up here. None of you do. It goes right in cause he doesn't lean on it. Okay? So, what I'll have Ross do is write a couple of sentences with embedded commands ...
Ross: How much more do you need? Kim: Ummm ... Ross: Take a guess. Kim: Well let's, well, I mean I can cut things short. Ross: Well guess. How much more do you need? Kim: Half an hour. Ross: Another half an hour? Can you do it in another fifteen? Kim: Well, we can skip some of the exercises and just have them do them at home. Ross: Yeah, yeah, okay. Do them at home. Kim: Okay. Ross: When you get the tape you'll be able to _____ .
Ross: Okay.
Kim: Okay, what I want you guys to do is practice command tonality. You can do this with each other during breaks, but we'll give you a few sentences. We'll start with simple ones. Okay? Like "Let's go out.” Okay? You just write these down and practice them. ”Let's go out.” Okay? I'll just write some down. Okay. Let's see ...
Kim: and I want you to underline the embedded command and the word that goes, whatever words go with it. The verb. Yes. Audience: Question from audience Kim: I want you to go inside. You don't have to. That's just the way of marching it out, the unconscious mind can hear much smaller shifts than the conscious mind. So it's not, it's very simple.
Ross: How about, "Let's go clothes shopping.” Kim: No, that's the one I use on you all the time.
Ross: You can pause if you like. There are, there are different ...
Ross: Laughing ?: "I'm getting on that plane.”
Kim: You can.
Kim: "I'm getting on that plane, NOW.” Okay.
Ross: ways to talk out commands.
?: Whoa.
Kim: Uh huh.
Kim: Just a couple of examples there. Just some short sentences to practice using command language. Okay? Because there's another thing about inflection that's even more important, you guys, and that's embedding commands. All night. Because what he does in the seminar is embedding the verb, verbal commands, like ...
Ross: You can even speak a little quieter ... Kim: Yeah. Ross: _____ . Kim: Well, let's just give them ... Ross: Okay.
Ross: "Feel horny.” _____ .
Kim: the basics right now.
Kim: No. What's it like when you go inside and, okay. So what you're doing in embedding commands ...
Ross: It's not important ...
Ross: Ben
Kim: They don't need to like hear every way of embedding a command in the universe.
Kim: When he's embedding commands in front of the room, you've got to remember that he is leaning very heavily on that tonal shift. Cause what you're doing is
Ross: _____ . Kim: Get confused, get confused. Mark only _____ .
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?: _____ .
barely stop on it. They'll get it unconsciously.
Kim: It's any shift in tone. The general way is to drop because that is command languaging in dropping the tonality. So if you're giving a command, you're dropping it just slightly to embed the command. That's the most common way, so that's the way we're going to tell you guys today.
Ross: When you start out exaggerating it and then you gradually take it down as you practice _____ .
Ross: It's not important to get aroused?
Kim: Yeah. Because it's not, it's really not important to stop on it, you really just need to do it very slightly. And that's why I wanted to make the point about how he speaks, because he's doing it for your benefit. Not, he doesn't want you to repeat this.
Kim: Right. Ross: to the point where it's barely perceptible by someone who's _____ .
Kim: Laughing Ross: _____ . Kim: It's not the point to get aroused. And find me very fascinating. Okay. So ...
Ross: Right.
?: Very often ...
Kim: Okay?
Kim: So just write down these sentences, sorry we're starting to rush here, but ...
Ross: I want, yes sir. Audience: With a very slight change in inflection versus a very strong change in inflection, you're mentioning that we don't have to make it a great change but is it more impactful on the unconscious mind if ...
Ross: Very often ... Kim: I thought I'd be too short in this, not in that way, but I thought I'd ... Audience: Laughter
Kim: No.
Kim: I thought I wouldn't ...
Audience: you really make a big ...
Ross: _____ .
Kim: No.
Kim: Do any of you guys have questions about inflection? Okay? Yes.
Audience: change? Kim: No.
Audience: Could you just do one line to show us ...
Ross: No.
Kim: Uh huh
Kim: Give me something to read, Paul, Ross. Let's see. Let me see if I can find something in here that I already have written. Cause I forget the patterns, frankly.
Kim: It's just the change, period. You can do tonal anchors, any kind of anchors. If I touch him, look, give me your hand real quick. Everything that impacts the unconscious mind, okay? So I'm doing a _____ anchor, which, have, do you guys know what _____ anchors are?
Ross: How about this? How about these?
Audience: No.
Kim: Okay. ”It's not important to get aroused. Very often a person can feel fascinated. What's it like when you desire more attention? Now, with me, when I desire more attention, I just go inside and find a way, " whatever. You know? You can hear me embedding the commands right there. Could you hear me embedding them? Just slightly, though.
Ross: We're going to show them.
Audience: they way it should be?
Kim: Oh, you're going to show them? Okay, well, he'll tell you what they are. But suppose he's in a state, okay, and I want him to remember that state by a touch. Okay? And if I touch him, that connects that touch with that state or, I was talking, I'm sorry, That connects that touch with that state, right? Does it make a difference if I touch him like that or if I go like that? No, it doesn't. It's the unconscious mind picking up on the difference.
Ross: Very slightly. Kim: Okay. Ross: You're barely stopping on it.
Audience: I see. So it's just for the purpose of marking it out that ...
Kim: Cause you just, that's what you do is, you just
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Kim: Uh huh.
Audience: Laughter
Audience: the greater the change isn't going to make it any more powerful.
Kim: But if you went, "No, mom, I really didn't do it. Kenny did it, I swear.” She's going to believe you cause the emotion in your voice is very important. In sales, especially when you're doing this kind of thing, cause if you want someone to feel a peak experience, you better be feeling it yourself first. Okay? You can't expect someone to go there unless you go first.
Kim: No. The unconscious mind will notice it and the fact that you drop in tonality instead of going up does make it a command language, but the slight drop is fine. Audience: I see. Thank you.
?: Right.
Kim: Okay.
Kim: Like Mark said, you don't have to be there completely or as deeply as they are, but you have to be there. Okay? Now let me give you a couple of hints to doing this. Cause sometimes I know some of you guys are going your heads and going, "Okay, what's the next word of my pattern?" All right? First of all, that's not the best way to do it. But if you're going to have, if you're going to be rehearsing patterns, what you want to do is think, "Okay, what am I talking about? I'm talking about a peak experience.” And what you want to do is use your visualization skills to put yourself in a place where you are feeling a peak experience. Like you want to imagine an amazingly beautiful sunset if that's a peak experience for you, so you can lead her into whatever peak experience she is feeling. Okay? Now, let me see. Like if you're visualizing trying to make someone feel lustful, if you guys in here are breast men, now you might want to visualize the pair of tits you've ever seen.
Ross: And also, the, the other way to do things is when Orion was reading the poem, his overall tonality shifted. Kim: Uh huh. Ross: He was talking, not tonality, his volume. He was speaking a lot more quietly. Kim: But that's another issue. Ross: Yeah, yeah. Kim: Okay, so the last thing we're going to talk about then is using emotion in your voices. Now I have noticed that some people here have a little bit of a flat voice no matter what they're talking about. Okay? And especially if you guys are reading patterns or you're trying to rehearse a pattern or rehearse something you're not really feeling yet completely. Okay? It's much harder to have people hear that emotion in your voice. But you've been talking about incredible connections. You want it to sound like an incredible connection. Okay? So, what we're going to do is have you guys, well, we're not going to have time to do an exercise, night?
Ross & Audience: Laughter Kim: Okay? And you'll be able to sound really lusty. All night? It's makes it Ross: Watermelons.
Ross: We can do another, one more.
Kim: easier that way.
Kim: We can do one more exercise?
Kim: Ummm,
Ross: Sure, sure.
Audience: Laughter
Kim: Okay. And the emotion that you use in your voice is very important. Like imagine when you were all kids. Okay? Think about when you did something wrong. Okay? Now imagine, I know, all these guys are going, "I did lots.” Okay. So imagine if you went up to your mom and went, "No, mom, I really didn't do it. Kenny did it.” Would she have believed you?
Kim: Watermelons. I mean, you're seeing some watermelons. Ross & Audience: Laughter Kim: So, what I want you guys ... Ross & Audience: Laughter Kim: What did he say?
?: _____ .
?: What about _____ .
Ross: Oh my god, they _____ Kenny.
Ross & Audience: Laughter
Kim: No, she, she wouldn't have believed you.
?: _____ .
?: _____ .
Kim: Oh god.
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Ross: Watermelons. Kim: I don't have that aspect, but I have the legs, so I don't know what you can think about for that. So, what I'm going to do is, should we do this exercise or should we skip it?
someone says, - _____ " like he says, they automatically think of lust. So you can add in a feeling to a word that, it doesn't necessarily correspond with. Like a little, really tiny penis. He's adding the long, people are thinking, "Okay, it's not real tiny if he's saying it that way.” Right? So you can ...
Ross: Yeah, do an exercise. Sure, do one more. Kim: Okay. One more exercise.
Ross: I'm only speaking truth.
Ross: You want to do another exercise ...
Audience: Laughter
Kim: Do you want to do it
Kim: Okay. So let me write up the words real quick.
Ross: do you find it helpful?
?: She's not denying that one.
Kim: or do you want to just
Ross & Audience: Laughter
Audience: Yes.
Kim: Okay.
Kim: Are you guys sure? Okay.
?: Curious.
Ross: Begin.
Ross: For those of you at home, the passwords are curious, beautiful, amazing, anticipating, anticipation, excuse me, ...
Kim: What we're going to do is we're going to compact two. Okay. I'm going to, first let me write these up, cause what we're going to do is have you guys split up and first we're just going to give you a few emotions to work with, a few, well, they're not necessarily emotions, I forgot to say that part. Because another thing about this is words need to sound like what they mean. Whether or not they're emotions, if you're saying that, "It was a really long day, " it doesn't express what you're saying. You want to say, "It was a really long day.” Cause words need to sound like what they mean when you're saying them.
Kim: Okay. And, do all of you guys know the peak experience pattern? Okay. Ross: "Do you remember the last time you had a peak experience? Like maybe you were climbing a mountain or you saw a ...” Kim: I'm not going to make it that long. Ross: "beautiful sunset ...” Kim: laughing Ross: "or heard a piece of music that really moved you? As you put yourself back into those feelings while we're talking, the really wonderful thing is how sometimes you can just stop the world and slow time down ...
Ross: "I've got a really smalllllll penis.” Kim: Uh huh. Ross & Audience: Laughter Kim: And that's ...
Kim: _____ .
Audience: Laughter
Ross: "and let yourself go with this. And you know, Kim: Okay. I'll just have you guys do one because we don't have time.
Kim: And actually he's exhibiting another point I want to make. Little does he know it now, but ... Audience: Laughter
Ross: Yeah, "an amazingly beautiful sunset.” Great, very good. Good choice.
Kim: the point is also ...
Kim: Okay. Yeah.
Audience: Laughter
Ross: Very good choice.
Ross: I'm out of here.
Kim: There's another one here that's good, but that, it exhibits saying thoughts with a lusty tonality, but you already know that. You've heard it all weekend, so.
Audience: laughter Ross: I'll see you later. Kim: That you don't have to be, people are anchored, well, I shouldn't even use that word, certain, certain tonalities say a certain thing to people. Okay? Like if
Ross: Lusty, tttttt. Brother Jed used to say, "Lustttttt.”
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Kim: Lust.
like this and you're going to fit in with everybody there. Okay? So what you have to do, what I want all you guys to do tonight, or whenever, when you have a chance, if you're watching the Bulls game tonight, you're not going to get a chance, is to go out in the world and listen to people. I don't care if it's women, I don't care if it's men, I don't care who it is, anybody, old people, young people, cause they're all going to be different and match the pace that they speak at. Okay? When you speak with them, I want you to speak at the same pace they speak at and the same volume. Yes, it's going to take practice. But once you get there, you don't want people missing every other word you say. Cause if you talk like this and you're talking to a Southern belle, she's only going to hear half of what you say, cause that's the pace she understands at. Okay?
Ross: "You're lusty, lusty, pervert.” What's that? ?: _____ . Ross: Okay. We need a minute Kim: Okay. Ross: ... to change tapes. Kim: Oh, is it done right now? Three minutes? Ross: Three minutes ... Kim: Okay, Ross: and we have to change tapes. Kim: we'll be ready, we'll be in the exercise by then. So what I want you to do is split up into pairs and use these words with each other, and you better convince that person that you mean it. Okay? Cause if they don't, if you don't convince your partner I expect them to slam you. Okay? Frankly. And then do this sentence using all the emotions with the different words. If you need to visualize, visualize. I don't care what you visualize as long as it puts you in that state. That's up to you.
Ross: So, if you say, "I really hate assholes, " she's going to hear, "I asshole.” Kim: Yeah. Audience: Laughter Ross: And the other thing ... Kim: yes. Ross: And the other thing you might want to do is get yourself a metronome.
Ross: So here's what she saying. With this first part you want to say the words with a, with a,
Kim: Uh huh. A metronome's good. For people who need to slow down in general, a metronome's very good. Okay? It's, if anybody in here is like that, get yourself a metronome. Otherwise, go out and pace people in the world and that is pretty much all I have to say today except for go out see THE TRUMAN SHOW because it's a wonderful, wonderful movie.
Kim: I'll, I'll ... Ross: inflection and tonality. Kim: ... do it right now. Ross: Okay, go ahead, do it. Kim: Um, curious. Whoa. Amazing. Why do I need this? I have a mike on.
?: So what's the tempo like? One and two and three? ?: One and two and three
Ross: _____ .
Ross: Depends on the people ...
Kim: Beautiful. Anticipation. Okay? And then, "Have you ever had a peak experience? Like maybe you saw an amazingly beautiful sunset?" Something like that. Okay?
Kim: There's no proper tempo, to whoever you're speaking to. Like if I spoke to you, I'd speak pretty slowly with a lot of pauses.
?: Something like that.
Ross: And occasionally she'd go (deep breath), "Well, here's what I want ...”
Kim: And that's, and, you know, everybody's going to be a little different, but you better be convincing. Okay? That's all I can say. Now split up into pairs ...
Kim & Audience: Laughter Kim: Yeah, if I spoke to you, I'd speak slower with pauses. Cause that's how you speak. So, and in everybody else here, it'd be a little different.
?: _____ . Kim: _____ New York is different than the proper tempo in
Audience: What if I s-s-s-spoke like th-th-that?
Texas. Okay? And Texas is more like a long, slow tempo. And in New York you're going to be talking
Ross: That's Matthew. Kim & Audience: Laughter
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Kim: If it were you, I'd smack you. Yes, cause I know you don't have to speak like that. So, I hope I did okay, you guys. My first speaking engagement was _____ .
Ross: So, what we're going to be covering later in the afternoon, we're going to bring Brother Orion up, he's going to cover some basic patterns in the, in your workbook, word for word, so you can see how they work. We'll do a little bit more work with you. Okay? And, by the way, one of the things I wanted to say is that I'm very proud of all of you. I really am. I mean, I was griping at Kim yesterday like, "These guys are really the slowest group I've had in a long time. They're not alert, they're not getting it.” But now, I look at you guys and I think you're really getting a lot more, aren't you?
Audience: Cheers and applause. Ross: Remember this. This is _____ . Audience: Applause Kim: Like I said, if anybody has any questions later, feel free to approach me. _____ . And I hope you guys enjoyed my presentation.
Audience: Yes
Ross: We did.
Ross: So give yourselves a huge hand.
Audience: Comments from audience
Audience: Applause
Kim: Okay. Here you go.
Ross: And, ...
?: _____ this is the first time.
Audience: Comment from audience
Kim: Laughing
Ross: Yeah, very, very true.
?: I can't believe how you'll be later.
Audience: Laughter.
Kim: I need that on tape to play for myself every day.
Ross: What ...
Ross: Okay, we need people back in their seats. Okay. Oh, if that's, no, we've been up there for, for a demonstration, for, okay. Is everyone back in their seats? People have been begging me, bugging me all day, "Ross, tell us about the products.” Well, ...
Audience: Comment from audience Ross: No, one of the major by products of being, one of the major by products of being here is that, by the way, you realize you're not laughing it off, you're laughing it in.
Audience: Laughter Ross: Well, and my perspective is, I used to think, you know, how can I get, I used to think how can I get people to buy products now? But, I came to realize that really we don't sell products, we don't give seminars, we don't really, on one level we do, your turn is over and your turn is yet to come. It's my turn now. Okay? The thing is this, is, let me give you something, a little something off the top of my head.
Audience: Laughter
Ross & Audience: Laughter
Ross: It's just the naked truth.
Ross: Just teasing. Okay. The thing is, is I really don't think in, in a, in a, in a very major sense that we sell any products. I really don't think we present any, any seminars. What, what we offer is, I think what we offer is way, a way to reach ultimately where you want to go with women. A way to, not just understand things on the surface level, but to understand things on a very deep level. A way to open up new possibilities. Do you understand what I'm saying? A way to reach so far beyond what you thought was possible before you walked in the door that that just seems ridiculous. Okay? Does that make sense?
?: _____ . body? Damn.
Ross: Because as Rex says, "When you're laughing, you're not in the past, you're not in the future, you're just completely in the present moment and every muscle is working together to give you one amazing feeling that you all want to have in your body.” Audience: Laughter
Ross: It's just the naked truth. My personal recommendations, by the way, we're going to come up with some packages, we'll confer together, and we'll offer some group packages that you can buy things together. My personal favorites, we now have the tapes from Hawaii. Audience: Oh, yeah. Ross: We have eight tapes of me teaching the latest speed seduction, stuff I do not teach in this class. This is a basic class. This is very advanced stuff. The latest stuff plus we have me teaching marketing
Audience: Yes
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secrets. If you want to learn how to market, knowing my marketing secrets, it's on these tapes.
Side Two, incredible connection, Side Three, love versus attraction, stack, Side Four, stacking realities, Side Five, blamo, Side Six, peak experience, Side Seven, setups, conversational setups, Eight, linkage phrases, Nine, negation, and Ten is a special treat. So if you want to review patterns without having to go through an entire course, by the way, you can only buy this if you've already bought a home study course. This is used as a supplement, not as a replacement for. Get these. These are really good. There's a total of ten patterns and they're repeated over and over and over again per side. Good way to get it into your mind. One suggestion if you have a light and sound machine, put it on the learn setting and then listen to these.
?: Oh yeah. Ross: These are videotapes. This is one of my absolute favorites. This is the seduction masters weekend tapes. It's me and Major Mark and a couple of other students just going deep shit, full bore, full tit boogie for three full days, talking about war stories and what we do in the field. People will often ask me, "Is there different material on each tape set?" Absolutely, yes there is. There's maybe 20 percent overlap but generally speaking, whether you buy audios or videos, you're getting 80 percent new material with each set. That's a tribute to how dedicated we are at stealing from all of our students. No ...
?: Oh yeah. Ross: It shows you how to custom design your state of consciousness that you want to be on. And it's a passive listening tape. I put you in a trance induction as you listen and it shows you how to custom design ...
Ross & Audience: laughter Ross: No, it's a, it's, it's, seriously, it's a comment on how we are dedicated to improving the material constantly. We have my classic book, which I wish would disappear, but it's still here, so, nonetheless, here it is. There's a picture of me in my smoking jacket with this hot date and a rib sticking out. Oh god, well.
?: I have friends _____ . Ross- I'm talking about bow to seduce strippers here.
Audience: Laughter
Excerpt from tape (Ross talking): I'm curious about something. I know that you have to walk a line. You have to walk a line between enticing the customers, getting them really hot and bothered, but not so hot that they juice all over you or try to assault you, you know? Or stalk you. How long did it take you to get comfortable walking that line? And they always give me a different answer. She, it took her like a couple of tries of dancing before she, she got into the groove. So immediately, she sees me as something other than a, than a mark, other than a customer. What I do is I just start talking to her about fantasies. I said, "You know, see, this place is really about fantasy and the world of fantasy really interests me. I think everything is based on fantasy, even jokes. Let me tell you a really good one.” I told her the Voodoo Dildo joke. How many people here have heard the Voodoo Dildo joke?
?: Ross, ... Ross: You know ... ?: _____ . Ross: Oh, yeah. ?: You need a mirror. Ross: We have ?: _____ . Ross: We have the skills builder tapes. Now, where, are they here? ?: Right here. Ross: Now I'm very proud of these. I got this idea from a marketing expert. He said, "You know, Ross, sometimes after I've reviewed your home study course, I don't want to have to go through the entire course just to brush up on one pattern.” He said, "For example, let's say I know I really want to get some oral sex, I want to just hear the blowjob pattern. Why don't you create a wonderful set of tapes that has a pattern per side repeated over and over and over again'.”' So we came up with the skills builder tapes. And what these, it has the incredible connection pattern. Side One, the blowjob pattern, my favorite.
Ross: I'm talking on the exact sequence of things seduce, to seduce strippers, but you'll just have to get the tape to find out more. Okay? How, how many here have the equalizer tape? Have you used it? Audience: Yes. Ross: What do you think of that? Audience: It's pretty good. Ross: I, that's one of my absolute favorite products,
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so we ... Kim: It's an awesome product.
BREAK IN TAPE
Ross: Thank you. For Kim to give that kind of compliment, that's no small ...
Ross: Oh, tell us a little bit about that woman, oh, talk about troubleshooters and the woman.
Kim: I think it's so important for all of you to get that tape night away.
Brother Orion: Okay. Well first, you know, obviously the people who were listening to those tapes did not see the girl that I had up on the stage, but some of you saw the girl who I had up on the stage. Does somebody want to tell me what they thought of her?
Ross: What the tape does is it drops you in a trance and I show you how to custom design your own state of consciousness. Remember I said that confidence isn't really enough? That you want to design a state that's part playful, part cocky, part outrageous, part intuitive, part clear-headed, part determined? It'll show you how to custom design that for yourself. I highly recommend that tape. Huh?
Audience: Hot, knock out. Brother Orion: Knock out, one to ten, come on. Audience: Comments from audience
?: Equalizer
Ross: She's about an eight-five, nine.
Ross: Equalizer is ...
Audience: Seven and a half.
?: _____ .
Brother Orion: What did you think?
Ross: Right here. Here's the equalizer.
Audience: Actually, she was a 10. She lit up a cigarette, an 8. 5.
Audience: You have a different order form than this? I don't see it on here.
Brother Orion: Laughing.
Ross: Is it on the order form, Dr. Ya tes?
Audience: _____ cigarettes lower.
Yates: We don't have any of the products on the order blank.
Brother Orion: Okay, well ... Audience: That's my opinion, but ...
Ross: Do you have to write down ...
Ross: She was a hottie.
?: That's not the catalogue.
Brother Orion: She was definitely a hottie ...
Yates: There are no products on the order form.
Audience: Comments from audience
Ross: Yeah, the products are here on display ...
Brother Orion: And, and she walked by the door, I was outside the room talking to Yates and I, Yates, you know, apologized, but I had to go off and talk to her. Basically what I said to her is exactly what you heard up here. Interestingly Ross said that, the same patterns that I had already used on her. I was like, "Oh god.” But ...
Yates: The products are in the catalogue and you have free catalogues _____ . Ross: Yeah, it's in there somewhere. It's in there somewhere. It's in there somewhere. ?: Happens when you use the blamo. ”I'm going to knock you, wow!"
Audience: Laughter
Ross & Audience: Laughter
Ross: Oh, that's what you did ...
?: "Mama said knock you, wow!"
Brother Orion: Oh yeah.
Ross: Okay. And also we're going to do value solicitation which is a very powerful pattern. You saw pieces of value, value solicitation when I worked with the lovely Brother Debbie. Right Brother Debbie?
Ross: to get her to come into the room? Brother Orion: I _____ natural versus culturally programmed woman, so, I also did the thing about her shirt. I said, "I really like your shirt.” She was with a guy at the time down the hall and the guy thought I was talking to her so they're both responding to me. But like he walked off and she stayed. So I walked
Debbie: Right. Ross: Right. How about that little Kim? Yaaa. Audience: Cheers and applause
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down and I said, I said I was doing a, doing a training at a, at a seminar on hypnosis and seduction and that, you know, a lot of women read things in COSMO about relationships and now finally men are getting on it and finding out about it. She was fascinated. And when she got up here, was she fascinated?
One of the things that I've had happening during the break since then and, I guess at most of the seminars I go to, ... Ross: Do you need something to write with? Brother Orion: some people ask me ... Where are the tapes? Somebody ...
Audience: Yeah
Ross: Oh, ...
Brother Orion: Did anybody notice any physiological changes?
Brother Orion: Somebody have the troubleshooters?
Audience: Oh, yeah.
?: _____ .
Brother Orion: What's that, bro?
Brother Orion: I, did they leave?
Audience: Her lower lip was swelled ...
?: Yeah.
Brother Orion: Oh, yeah.
Ross: Troubleshooters tapes, tell them about them.
Audience: She was ... Comments from audience.
Brother Orion: They already left. Well, the guys have been, me and Kamal, who's one of Ross' best students and a good friend of mine, get asked questions a lot of times during the breaks in the seminar. People want to know, you know, how is it that you do what you do, what have you learned, what lessons are there? We decided rather than answering everybody's questions again and again, we're going to make a product, we're going to sit down and record everything we've learned, you know, assuming that people already know these patterns, assuming that you know the patterns which I'm about to teach, you already know the tonality, what an embedded command is, you know, what a presupposition is, these kinds of things, what anchoring is; which is basically, you know, anchoring is simply when you get someone into a state, like when you're really excited about something, like, ah, for example, these tapes, right? When you're really excited, when you're really excited about something, you know? Maybe you can remember a time in the past like, like Kim was doing earlier, remembering a really intense state and right before the very peak of it, you anchor it with a sound, a touch, or something visual and that triggers off the state like Pavlov ring a bell? So this is the basic structure of anchoring and it's in the home, it's in the Secrets of Speed Seduction Home studies Workbook, which I'm going to be referring to in a moment. So, those are, those are the troubleshooters tapes. We recorded four tapes, high quality and it's all neat. We sat there and it wasn't a seminar. We were able to just sit down and pour our hearts out and say everything that we've worked and we've got some great patterns in there. Has anybody listened to those tapes?
Brother Orion: That's what she was thinking. ?: Breathing heavy and quickly. Brother Orion: Breathing heavy and quickly. And now ... Audience: Breathing slow. Comments from audience Brother Orion: Breathing heavy and slowly. Yeah, the deep, deep ... Audience: It was, the upper part of her neck was kind of moving around like Jell-O _____ . Brother Orion: Ooo, like her pulse? Audience: Yeah Brother Orion: You could see her pulse pounding. Audience: And she started to swallow harder. Brother Orion: Now guys, I, I didn't ... Audience: Laughter Brother Orion: Oh god. I did it, I did it exactly as I would have done it if we weren't in a seminar room because it was real. Okay? And, and afterwards the reason I left, I didn't, you know, ask her how intensely she responded was because I followed her out the room, I had to get her to sign the nondisclosure agreement, you know, or Yates would have been on me about it. And then of course just as a slight afterthought, I had to get her phone number so we could get together. So, I wasn't able to get her response, but it was, it was the real thing. I mean, that's how much I step on it. You know? Sorry if anybody couldn't hear but I dropped my tonality way down, I embed my commands pretty intensely and, and she went with it. It's cool. So that was a lot of fun.
Ross: I love them. They're, I listened to them like three times, laughed my ass off at what balls out seduction
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masters you guys are.
the words in your notes. Focus on the way I embed commands. I embed them differently than other people. People have their own unique style, but focus on the way I speak and maybe the response that you get as you listen to it. Because I am a neuro-linguistic hacker.
Brother Orion: Cool. I love hearing that. That just makes me glow. Audience: Laughter Ross: You are, I'm serious. You are worthy to receive the ROS, the Royal Order of Sargie.
9: Yeah.
Audience: Oooo, ...
Brother Orion: That's right. I'm going for it all the way, the deep states, quickly. I might start off the beginning of a pattern, if I'm first talking to her, using a more conversational tonality. But as quickly as possible I'm going to go from pacing the speed that she speaks and talks and thinks at to leading her into the states of mind that I want her to go into very rapidly. The core, as far as I'm concerned, pattern of speed seduction is the instantaneous connection pattern. It's the core because it creates the bond that lets all the other things work. Okay? So, I'm going to go into it night now and I'll tell you what. I'll tell you what. I'm going to have Brother Kim come up and do a, a value solicitation on her in a minute. And if you don't mind, you can come up and I'll read these other patterns to you, that I'm not pretending. Is that okay?
Brother0rion: Cool. Anybody else have any quick comments about them?
BREAK IN TAPE
Audience: I think that the, that the best tape really focus or have you think about is, is your own flexibility because, you know, oftentimes if there's certain things that, that we all do, like we all might learn, you know, love versus attraction and the Discovery Channel, but the point being is you can really, you can really do this thing with just about any topic you've had to experience in your life and just as kind of a pathological example, Brother Kamal talks about using the same sort of process to make a pattern out of a dead fish.
Kim: Laughing. Yeah, that's fine. Brother Orion: Okay. Kim: _____ use the metronome.
Brother Orion: yeah.
Brother Orion: If we were doing it, if I was reading these patterns to you outside of the room would that be okay?
Audience: Which, which, which is, is, is really kind of, you know, not very, not very sensual ... Brother Orion: Right.
Kim: No.
Ross: Brother Kamal is quite a wild man. He even quotes squirrels. ”A squirrel said to me the other day, " ...
Brother Orion: I didn't think so. Brother Orion and Kim: Laughing
Brother Orion: Yeah. And when he was in the Hawaii seminar, he was just blowing the brothers away. Flexibility is a great one. I forgot to say when I was talking about introductions just having flexible approaches. Like with this girl, I talked about her shirt, I talked about how it was hypnotic, that was, I was repeating what I said to her when I initially talked to her to get her attention. So, I'm going to move on and, I'm going, I'm going to get into the patterns of the actual wording. This is all in the Secrets of Speed Seduction Home Study Course Workbook where, where the patterns are all down there word for word. So I'm going to move through them a little quickly. I don't want you guys to write it down, I want you to listen to me, focus on what I'm saying and how I'm saying it more than the words that I say. Focus on the tonality that I use. You'll have the words, you have
Kim: People have tried. Brother Orion: I bet. Kim: Tried. Brother Orion: Once. Kim: It wasn't a situation in Atlanta that I had to deal with once, so yeah. Ross: And they were dead meat. Kim: What? Ross: And they were dead meat. Kim: He got yelled at a little bit. But he thanked me later. Ross: Her nickname is Shredder.
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Brother Orion: And now he's the keeper of the Kim McFarland, Mistress of Speed Seduction Fan Club, right?
You can use the words, you can use the ideas and you can leverage them. Ross: _____ . Then you're doing value solicitation, when you're doing value solicitation it's the fourth doorway. It's asking questions that touch her, touch at core level, she has to go into a deep trance state to find the answers. Okay? Now, you do value solicitation after you've gotten deep rapport and done some of the other patterns. I wouldn't start out with it if I were you. I know there's some people who teach you to start out with it right away but again, I don't know how what they do in the real world outside of their seminar room.
Kim: Oh god. Brother Orion: Kim, have you ever felt an instantaneous connection, like maybe as you were there looking at them, and you started to listen intently; it was like there was a cord of light going from you to them? And as you, as that cord began to glow with the warmth of the connection, maybe you were even able to imagine a time in your future, say six months from now, still feeling that sense of overwhelming connection and looking back on today as having been the start of it?
Brother Orion: Right.
Ross: Now, he's going a little fast. Do it at the right speed.
Ross: Okay? And I'm going to write down her answers for you.
Brother Orion: Okay. I just know there's a lot of material to go through.
Brother Orion: Okay. I do want to say that I can actually write down the answers while I'm doing it. A lot of the times when she looks up or something, I'll just sit and I'll write it down or if I'm doing a handwriting analysis, I want to have, or I'm going to write these down as soon as she's done, as soon as I'm done talking with her, cause I want to remember these. I want to remember these for a couple reasons. I want to remember the values, the words that she says, the rules that she has because I want to use them later. After the conversation I want to be able to list them and, and anchor them and more importantly, I want to, I want to remember them so that I can fulfill them, so that I can decide if I want to fulfill them.
Ross: I understand, but I don't want you to go Brother Orion: Okay. Ross: _____ , I want you to _____ . Brother Orion: Okay. I'm going at the night, oh, okay. Ross: Okay? Brother Orion: All right. Ross: I don't care what anyone ... Brother Orion: I understand. Ross: _____ .
?: I'm just wondering what, when you elicit the values, are the words that you get once you listed the values also similar to their personal trance words?
Brother Orion: I understand. See, what I think is so funny is how some people can just do that and let it happen instantaneously. Cause for me, it takes longer. But I do find that during the course of an evening, as you start to get to know this person better, as you start to really recognize those values and qualities in them, that you hold so dearly for yourself, with me, that's when you can make that connection and really feel that growing bond. Okay? So, there are variations on that in the workbook. That's page 43.
Brother Orion: They are oftentimes their personal trance words, especially when they start to talk about the subject of what's important to them in a relationship. You're going to start getting lots of personal trance words. You guys listen for them. Listen for the personal trance words and, and I will make a distinction between a quality in a person and a value in a relationship.
Ross: What I want you to do is value solicitation in one ...
Audience?: Can you explain what you mean by her personal trance words?
Brother Orion: I understand.
Brother Orion: These are the words that have special meaning for her, that she will put a special meaning on, that have a real punch to them, an emotional intensity. And so when you use them back to her, especially if you say them the same way, you're going to re-evoke that emotional intensity and you can leverage it. You can do, you can move them in
Ross: Okay? Brother Orion: I got it. I'm going to do the value solicitation next. And I'm going to get into pretty quickly without talking a lot about why it's important. But it does get very rapidly at the very deep values.
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different directions and create new combinations.
Basic Speed Seduction Seminar
Ross: Sometimes when you're doing the pattern, a woman will interrupt you and say, "Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, destiny, da da da da da da da, energy, blah, blah, blah blah, passion.” She'll give you her, now what words did she say? Destiny, energy and passion. They're words that mean something to her. I'm sorry. Go for it. Brother Orion: Okay. So you, I might, you know, I might start off talking to someone about "Have you ever felt an incredible connection, like maybe as you were there, really listening and feeling that sense that you were just meant to be together, that somehow destiny brought you together, feeling that bond, that cord ...” and talking about other things, getting her more connected and then, later on, start to ask her about, "You know, I think relate, I think that people make a big mistake in relationships when they ...” Kim: Hmmm Brother Orion: " ... think about what's important to them. They don't realize that, they don't, a lot of people don't even think about what's important to them in a relationship. And when they do, they confuse a quality in a person with a value in a relationship.” Now, I'm doing this a little bit differently than the wording in the book, but it's basically the, the important part is to ask her the question, word for word, don't change this, "What's important to you in a relationship?" Ross: Not "Why are relationships important?" but "What's important to you in a relationship?" Brother Orion: I've found those key words, when you stick to them, really keep you focused. The wording that builds up to it is also important and there is wording, you know, word for word, in the relationship, I mean, in the book, about relate, in, in the home study workbook about the pattern that gives you a nice setup for it. Audience: What page? Brother Orion: On page 56, but the basic thing that you're going for and it's called total fulfillment in a relationship, so this is for, for especially, you know, it's a good thing to look at for guys who are like, you know, you're just going to use this like, like our man here to hook up with three women in one night. You know? But you know, you can find that one special person and hook up for a relationship.
Yates: This is the end of Side 18 of the Ross Jeffries
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don't ...
Tape 10 – Side 1
Brother Orion: Exactly. Kim: ... and you respect all of them and you don't, then there's a problem then.
Yates: Welcome to Side 19 of the Ross Jeffries Basic Speed Seduction Seminar
Brother Orion: Right, right, right. Brother Orion: Especially when you can fulfill them and really keep them happy.
Kim: So you just have to be careful how you use them. So, ...
Kim: But if you use those to get someone and they come after you and you don't really mean it, you better watch Out, cause they will track you down. There have been cases of people being attacked with knives. So you better mean it. If you don't mean it, use one of Mark's patterns.
Brother Orion: Right. So you obviously have some pretty strong ideas about what's important to you in a relationship. I'm sure there's ...
Brother Orion: Right.
Kim: Laughing
Kim: Cause it does a completely different thing. You don't want someone to feel an incredible connection if you don't really want to.
Brother Orion: Yeah, I can tell. I can tell. Absolutely. Absolutely. And, and it's something you've thought a lot about.
Brother Orion: Right. Well, I mean, there's ...
Kim: Sometimes I do, but it changes a lot, too.
Kim: You know?
Brother Orion: Okay. Okay, it does change a lot and it's important to be, to be flexible and in ...
Kim: Pretty strong ideas about everything. Brother Orion: Pretty strong ideas about everything.
Brother Orion: Yeah, that's right. Kim: Of course. ?: _____ .
Ross: Tell them the leg story.
Brother Orion: Yeah. So if I were to ask you, "What's important to you about a relationship" what might you tell me?
Kim: to use in that case.
Kim: Let's see. Respect.
Ross: Tell the leg story very rapidly.
Brother Orion: Respect. I agree with you. I think respect, that's tremendously important. It really is one of the, one of the keys for me. And like Ross says a lot of the time, you know, people define respect in different ways. So, ...
Kim: There are other patterns
Kim: No, uh uh, it's not appropriate, I don't think it fits in right now, but ... Ross: Okay.
Kim: Uh huh.
Kim: No, I'm just saying, I mean, if you don't mean it, don't do it because there are other ways to do it. Mark does it all the time. Or used to.
Brother Orion: For some people, respect is that they're, that they always open doors for you, they always buy you dinner, but for other people ...
Brother Orion: It's also what you, what you do with the values when you have them and, and what, how much respect, you know, you treat the person in the relationship with. I don't think just eliciting the values is going to get people chasing you with knives, but ...
Kim: Because that's nice ... Brother Orion: ... respect is this. Yeah, it's nice, it's nice, but that's not, might not be what respect is.
Kim: Not just eliciting, but ...
Kim: No. No it's not.
Brother Orion: Right, it's ...
Brother Orion: For me, respect is when people follow through, when people, you know, are going to say they're going to do something and they don't, it really pisses me off and, and it violates. my personal sense of respect. So what does a person have to do in order for you, and I'm getting the rules for the value. What,
Kim: ... once you've elicited and ... Brother Orion: Right. Kim: ... if you decide to convince all them and you
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what does a person have to do in order for you to experience respect with this person because I know with me, that's an important value to have.
Brother Orion: Uh huh. Kim: That would, things like that. Brother Orion: Good. They see your opinion as being useful. So they value your brains as well as your beauty. You didn't say that. That's not, you know, that, it's a different way of saying it, but it's like, you know, they, they do respect your value, your opinions ...
Kim: Experience respect. They can't be condescending. Brother Orion: Right. They can't be condescending. Kim: They have to treat me as an equal. Brother Orion: Okay. What we got two, we got two there. We got the value for what must not happen ...
Kim: My intelligence, my opinions ... Brother Orion: Yeah. Yeah, and they take ...
Kim: Uh huh
Kim: My talents, my skills, all that.
Ross: The rule for what must ...
Brother Orion: Good.
Brother Orion: The rule for what must not happen and the rule for what must happen, all in one ...
Kim: It's very important.
Kim: Those are pieces of it, yeah.
Brother Orion: Excellent, excellent. So that they're, that they are able to really appreciate your values, your skills, ...
Brother Orion: Those are pieces of it. Kim: I don't even, I mean, I, those are parts, yeah.
Kim: Uh huh.
Brother Orion: Those are parts? Well, are those the major part or are there other small parts?
Ross: Now what does that imply that somebody has to do? They have to do what with it then?
Kim: Ummm.
Brother Orion: They have to listen, ...
Brother Orion: Or are there other bigger parts? Like what's the, what's the, if you were ...
Kim: Uh huh. Ross: They better listen.
Kim: Treating me as an equal is very important, so that's why ...
Brother Orion: They better listen, right, to what, to what she's saying and appreciate it. You know? This is not somebody who you, "Yeah, yeah, yeah, honey, okay, but I'm going to do something else.” No.
Brother Orion: Treating you as an equal is important. You don't want someone looking down on it. Kim: Never.
Kim: Right.
Brother Orion: Absolutely. Kim: I'd shred them.
Brother Orion: You want somebody to listen to every word ...
Brother Orion: Right. Absolutely.
Kim: Yeah.
Kim: Okay.
Brother Orion: and to appreciate ...
Brother 0rion: Okay. So respect is very important.
Kim: Uh huh.
Kim: Uh huh.
Brother Orion: ... your, your skills ...
Brother Orion: And, and you know, and, well let me ask you, when someone, how do you know that someone's treating you like an equal?
Kim: Yeah. Brother Orion: ... and your ability and your opinion. Kim: Yeah, and at least if I give an opinion, they don't have to necessarily do it, but they at least have to take it into consideration and look at it as valid.
Ross: Did you hear the question? How do you know that somebody's treating you like an equal? Brother Orion: Is that one, I want to clarify that.
Brother Orion: Right, right. And, and to be considerate of your, of your opinion and to respect that.
Kim: They respect my opinion, they want my opinion, they look at it as something that is useful to them ...
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Kim: Uh huh. And respect my opinion, yes.
Brother Orion: Yeah. Absolutely. And how do you know when someone's being considerate of you?
Brother Orion: Let me, I just want to stop here for a second. Now, did anybody hear what I was doing here? I was repeating back basically word for word what You said.
Kim: Ummm Brother Orion: And has that consideration? Kim: That if something they're doing affects me or even a time that they'll at least call to tell me what's going on, ...
Kim: Uh huh. Brother Orion: I wasn't adding my own words, I wasn't re-interpreted, I wasn't active listening, I mean, what a crock. You know? That's not respecting someone's opinion, is it, if you rephrase their opinion and so you, so what you really mean ...
Brother Orion: Uh huh.
Kim: Yeah, that's not.
Kim: Be respectful of, like say if they, I know that they're getting home at a certain time ...
Brother Orion: if you want somebody ...
Brother Orion: Uh huh.
Kim: I'd say, "No, what I really mean is what I said.”
Kim: ... and they know that I know and I might be calling or something. And they're out five hours later ...
Brother Orion: Exactly. And what I want to ask you is when I repeat back your words to you, does it feel like I'm doing something artificial, like I'm ... ?
Brother Orion: Right.
Kim: No.
Kim: I'll be worried if they don't call me.
Brother Orion: No, not at all. Even though you know exactly what I'm doing. You know, ...
Brother Orion: Sure, sure.
Kim: Right.
Kim: That they call me. Just, just considerate, just that ...
Brother Orion: ... you train this stuff.
Brother Orion: Right.
Kim: Yeah.
Kim: They're considerate of my feelings, ...
Brother Orion: Okay.
Brother Orion: Uh huh.
Kim: Familiar.
Kim: and think about how things will affect me ...
Brother Orion: Let me, let me finish _____ this.
Brother Orion: Right.
What else is important to your relationship?
Kim: ... that they do.
Ross: Okay. So the questions are "What's important to You in a relationship, how do you, " when she names it, you say, "How do you know when you're getting that, how do you know if someone is giving you that?"
Brother Orion: Right. How do you know when someone's being considerate of your feelings? Kim: That's mostly just, I guess, respecting my feelings, acknowledging them, not saying that, "Oh, you shouldn't feel this way.” Well, no, I should feel this way.
Brother Orion: Right. And what must not happen. Ross: And why are you asking that? So you can find out what behaviors you need to give her. So the first thing that you're determining what it is she wants, then you're determining how specifically she needs to get it, to know she's getting it. Very good. _____ what else is there?
Brother Orion: So, acknowledging your feelings. Kim: Acknowledging that I feel that way, maybe supporting, be supportive. Ross: Now, sometimes what'll happen is you'll get values that are really close, so, like she said, respect and consideration. To me they sound really close, so may I, if I may, ooooo (ringing in background).
Brother Orion: What else is important to you in a relationship?
Audience: Laughter.
Kim: Consideration.
Ross: Bad thing, bad thing. If I, if I were to step in and say, "What's, what's the difference between respect and consideration, cause I'm confused here frankly,
Brother Orion: Consideration. Kim: Uh huh.
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what is the difference?"
Brother Orion: ... when they're not around you, that they don't think ...
Kim: Respect is just treating me as an equal, we're on par.
Kim: Right.
Ross: Uh huh.
Brother Orion: ...” Whatever, I'm away from her, she'll be fine on her own.” That you want people ...
Kim: Okay? Consideration is when they're doing things even when we're not together if they think it'll affect me in some way. At least giving me a call to say, "Hey, honey, I'm not dead, I've just been, decided to hang out with some friends for a few hours.”
Kim: Right. Brother Orion: ... to touch, to touch bases with you ... Kim: Right. Brother Orion: To give you a call.
Ross: So consideration has to do with those behaviors that, that take place when the person is not in your presence?
Kim: And if they say that I'm going to call, they'd better call. Brother Orion: They'd better call.
Kim: And. well, in my presence, too.
Kim: When they said they did.
Brother Orion: Right.
Brother Orion: Yeah.
Kim: You know, I mean it, but just ...
Kim: Or else I will scream at them.
Brother Orion: Well, this is the difference that I see happening.
Brother Orion: Well let me, let me ask _____ , let me a different, a different way here. This is the idea of a hierarchy of values SO that if you want to go up one you might choose one of, of, you know, if there's one that's interesting to you, like, I think, I think consideration sounds like an interesting one. If I were to ask you what's important to you about consideration, what might you tell me?
Ross: Okay. Brother Orion: Is that, is that respect is more about somebody, when you have an opinion, when you have an idea ... Kim: Uh huh. Brother Orion: ... or skill and you express it ... Kim: Uh huh.
Kim: What do you mean? Brother Orion: Well. what I'm trying to get is, is, I'll just tell you this structure here, is that I'm trying to get a higher value. Well. consideration is important to you, right?
Brother Orion: ... the people say, "That's valuable.” Kim: Yeah. Brother Orion: Consideration is when you have a feeling, an emotional state, people say,
Kim: Yeah.
Ross: Very good.
Brother Orion: And when you're in a relationship that has consideration, you know, you enjoy that, you want to be ...
Brother Orion: "That's important.” Ross: It's a very good ... Brother Orion: That your, your ...
Kim: Well, I'm also more aware of what is missing when you're in a relationship ...
Kim: That's part of it, yeah.
Brother Orion: Right.
Brother Orion: ... feelings are important ...
Kim: Of course, respect is always as the forefront because that's ...
Kim: That's ...
Brother Orion: Ahhh.
Brother Orion: ... but, but even ... Kim: _____ .
Kim: Not because it's missing ever but because it's very, just extremely important to me.
Brother Orion: ... more importantly, that people don't ignore your feelings, especially ...
Brother Orion: It is important to use that. Kim: But when something that people, since I'm in a
Kim: Right.
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relationship, I guess, ...
It could be for her.
Brother Orion: Right.
Kim: It's very, it's very high.
Kim: ... things become more obvious in my forefront when ...
Brother Orion: It's very high. But we can get one higher. We can get ...
Brother Orion: Right.
Kim: Maybe, let's see.
Kim: ... they're not quite there ...
Brother Orion: We can get ...
Brother Orion: Yeah, yeah.
Kim: What does respect allow me to feel?
Kim: or they're coming, yeah.
Brother Orion: Or what's important to you about respect?
Brother Orion: Yeah. Absolutely.
Kim: Experience. Umm, ...
Kim: So that's why consideration ...
Brother Orion: Could be feeling cared for ...
Brother Orion: Absolutely. And, and of course I'm trying to be, you know, trying to be, obviously get to things that are both you know, things that you want to have and things that you ...
Kim: It's pretty high up there. Brother Orion: Yeah. Could it be feeling cared for? Kim: Kind of, yeah.
Kim: Uh huh.
Brother Orion: Kind of, yeah.
Brother Orion: ... you know, don't want to have as well.
Kim: But it's also, I guess, no, no, it's more like respect is just very important to me.
Kim: Right.
Brother Orion: Very important, yeah.
Brother Orion: Let me ask you. What's important to you about respect?
Kim: Laughing
Kim: What's important to me about respect?
Brother Orion: Well, let me ask you a question. Let, can you remember a time when you felt really, really cared for?
Brother Orion: Uh huh. Kim: What do you mean then?
Kim: Uh huh.
Ross: Well, another way to put it, if I may, another way to ask the question is, "What does having respect ...”
Brother Orion: Was it because you felt respected? Kim: No.
Brother Orion: Allow you to experience.
Brother Orion: Okay.
Ross: " ... allow you to experience? When you're with someone and you know you're being respected, what's that ...”
Kim: Laughing
Kim: Hmmm, what's it allow me to experience?
Ross: My guess is if someone didn't respect her, they wouldn't even get close enough to get a chance to show that ...
Ross: " ... allow you to experience?"
Kim: That's very true.
Brother Orion: Right.
Brother Orion: That's what I'm trying to say. That's what I'm trying to say. I'm, what I'm trying to say is in order for you to feel cared for you need to feel respected.
Kim: Umm, all I can think of is like total respected. Brother Orion: Respected. Kim: But I feel cared for of course.
Kim: No. In order for me to let someone close enough for me to care about them, they'd better respect me.
Brother Orion: If you ...
Ross: Yeah.
Ross: _____ cared for.
Brother Orion: Okay. Now we're talking about caring about other people rather than ...
Brother Orion: Cause respect could be a top value.
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Kim: Respect is this.
Kim: Being close.
Brother Orion: feeling _____ yourself.
Brother Orion: Okay. If I were to ask you ...
Kim: They'd better respect me. If someone doesn't think I'm smart, someone doesn't respect my opinions, they're out of there.
Kim: Feeling closeness, ... Brother Orion: what else is important to you, Kim: ... being close to someone.
Brother Orion: Right.
Brother Orion: you'd tell me of feeling close to someone.
Ross: Oh, man. Brother Orion: Okay.
Kim: Uh huh, yeah.
Kim: As a friend ... Brother Orion: Okay, well, I'm going to respect
Brother Orion: And what has to happen in order for you to feel close to someone?
Kim: ... or a lover ...
Kim: There has to be physical affection.
Brother Orion: ... your opinions.
Brother Orion: Physical affection. Yeah, yeah. And you're not just referring to, well, I want to know ...
Kim: ... or anything, that's it.
Kim: Not just sex. Brother Orion: Obviously. Not your sexuality, maybe sensual touch, but also ...
Brother Orion: Laughing Kim: I, I don't let people near me who don't, because that's, it is disrespectful and it doesn't show any, any, it doesn't show any care for me or any respect.
Kim: Just touch. Brother Orion: ... reassuring touch.
Brother Orion: Okay.
Kim: Yeah.
Kim: Respect, though, is the thing.
Brother Orion: Yeah, touch.
Brother Orion: Right.
Kim: Touch.
Kim: That's it.
Brother Orion: And you're a massage therapist as well.
Brother Orion: Well, let me, let me put it this way. I think, I mean, you have thought a lot about, about values. Maybe not directly, but in certain ways you have thought about it a lot.
Kim: Yes, I'm a massage therapist. Brother Orion: And that, that might connect to that. Yeah, yeah. I know how that feels to, to really ...
Kim: Well, I have. Brother Orion: You've realized ...
Kim: It's very reassuring to be, you know, that they care about you, to be touched. It's very reassuring.
Kim: But it's been a while.
Brother Orion: I agree.
Brother Orion: ... that respect is a real important one to you. A lot of people that you do this to will give you lower values. Feeling good, or something like that. Or, or being comfortable. Well, when you ask them, "What's important to you about being comfortable?" "Oh, it allows me to feel loved.” You can get higher values. But a lot of times, you know, in the original structure of this, the structure in the workbook, is you go across, laterally. You go for values ...
Ross: Ile word reassuring. Brother Orion: I just reached over and touched her. Ross: Listen to this. We've got respect, we've got closeness, we've got reassurance, we've got being cared for. Kim: Reassurance is quickly dropping, but of course, as you guys know, I date an NLPer, so everything changes all the time.
Kim: Okay.
Brother Orion: Right.
Brother Orion: ... that are at the same level. Respect.
Brother Orion & Audience: Laughter
Kim: Well closeness is also important ...
Kim: That, that makes it a little different.
Brother Orion: Closeness.
Brother Orion: Cool, cool. Well, well, how do you, you
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know, how many, how do you, I want to get the negative rule here, too, so how do you know that, that someone, that you can't, that you're with the kind of person you don't feel that closeness with? What must never happen for you to have closeness?
relationship?" "What's important to you in a relationship? How do you know when you have it? What must never happen?" Right? And then I can either ask, "What else is important to you about, in a relationship?" Or I can ask you, "What's important to you about that?" to get a h igher value. So I've gotten three values from you.
Kim: What must never happen? Brother Orion: Uh huh.
Kim: He had a question.
Kim: I can't think of something that can never happen cause ...
Brother Orion: Okay, I'm going, I'm going to answer them ...
Brother Orion: Well, well if somebody went for a long time without ever touching you for some reason.
Kim: You're gong to answer them later? Okay.
Kim: Oh, you mean, well, well, yeah, I wouldn't feel close to them if they didn't touch me ever.
Brother Orion: ... after I finish this, this particular pattern because I do want to move through this. So I, we've got three very important values here to you. And, and I, I imagine that when you think about the ideal relationship, the kind of person that you really want to enjoy that kind of closeness with ...
Brother Orion: Yeah, absolutely. Kim: But there are periods where they can go through that but it comes and goes, the closeness comes and goes sometimes in a relationship.
Kim: Uh huh.
Ross: Yeah, ...
Brother Orion: ... and feel that kind of touch, that physical touch that let's you just know that, you know, you can feel close with someone, it's cause ...
Brother Orion: Cool. Ross: _____ . You'll know, physical affection is very important to her. You will, we're not dramatically involved, but we're still very huggie.
Kim: Uh huh. Brother Orion: ... they respect you. It's because they respect not just, you know, the physical contact but also that you have contributions to make, that you have opinions to give, skills to share.
Brother Orion: Right. Yeah. Kim: Physical affection is very important to me, yeah. Ross: _____ .
Kim: Uh huh.
Brother Orion: Absolutely.
Brother Orion: Abilities, you know, and it's what allows you to really, you know, realize that someone is considerate of you. That even, you know, even when you have that, when they have that closeness and that touch and also when you're away from them, that they're still considerate enough to, to keep in touch with you. Right? Even if they can't touch you, they'll keep in touch with you. And they'll be considerate of ...
Ross: _____ get disgusted by it. Brother Orion: Absolutely. Now it's interesting because ... Audience: Laughter ?: Absolutely right. Kim: Do you want me to start giving you lower values so you can elicit higher ones?
Kim: Think about me.
Brother Orion: No, no, no. This is what I wanted. This is absolutely what I wanted.
Brother Orion: ... the way you feel. Kim: Yeah.
Kim: Okay.
Ross: What's important to you in a relationship?
Brother Orion: And they'll think about you. And when you think about the ideal relationship and how much, you know, how much closer you feel to someone when you experience all those values, can you feel that closeness as something you really want to experience?
Brother Orion: "What's important to you in a
Kim: Now, does that feel right to you?
Brother Orion: I, I have three of your highest values by asking what's important to you about a relationship, okay? That's the first question. ”What's important to you about a relationship?"
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Brother Orion: Yes, it does.
you really find a better relationship and understand the person you're with, so you're probably not the kind of person who'd be interested in hearing what these questions are. But, you know, well, I hope you'll indulge me anyway cause I'd really like to talk to someone about this. It really excited me. So, I'm just curious. If I were to start, the question they said to ask is, to start off asking, what's important to you in a relationship? So if I were to say to you ...” Hear the weasel phrase? "What's important to you in a relationship? What would you say?"
Audience: Laughter Brother Orion: So, so ... Kim: yeah. Brother Orion: What I, what I, if any of you, if any of you didn't see that, I, I, I went through, I listed the values, I, her eyes were big and wide, and, and I reached over and anchored it and "feel that" is an ambiguity. Can you feel that? And it was, it was great. I was working on a number of different levels cause she loves the closeness, she loves the touching, and because I was anchoring it and I was also, you know, basically, putting, putting it all together and linking it tome. Okay?
Kathleen: Urn, friendship. Ross: Friendship. Wow, yeah. Now the thing is I have no idea what she means by that. Kathleen: That's pretty broad.
Ross: And we're going to have fun, there's going to be no tears, it's all going to be good stuff, okay?
Ross: It's very broad, so I'm going to start narrowing it and I'm going to go, "Well, well, let me ask you something.” That's so broad then instead of saying, "How do you know when you have friendship?" I'll say, "Well, well, " what I will say, "What do you mean? How do you know when, when you're experiencing friendship with someone? What has to happen in order for you to know you have friendship with someone?"
Kim: I'm in a good mood today.
Kathleen: There's a sense of trust there.
Ross: Good, I'm glad. She was kind of, had some fun chemicals that her body had produced and I wanted to inject myself
Ross: A sense of trust. Okay. Now I've heard the real one. So I said to her, "How do you know when you have, what has to happen for you to know when you have friendship with someone?" She said, "There's a sense of trust.” Okay? And I, my belief is that trust is a really powerful one. So I'm going to run with that. I'll go, "Trust. You know, I agree with you. And, and I'll just share with you that if I don't trust someone, there's nothing I can have with them; friendship, relationship, anything. It just, maybe they get to the level of acquaintance and that's it. You know what I mean? So, I'm just curious. For me, to know that I have trust with someone is they keep my secrets, they don't reveal what I tell them not to, and they do what they say they're going to do. I'm just curious. What has to happen, what has to happen, what to has to happen ...” I'm finding out her rule now. Her value is trust, now the rule is going to tell me what behavior she needs to see and what behavior she must never see. ”What has to happen in order for you to know you have trust with someone?"
BREAK IN TAPE
Ross: ... solicitation here and you'll learn it all. Okay? Kim: Yes.
?: Could you move forward just a little bit so she could turn the chair just a little _____ . Ross: No. Sure, actually, that's not a bad suggestion actually. All right. What we're going to do is, we're going to continue to learn here together and I'm going to show you the questions. By the way, this is word for word in your workbooks. The point here is not to try and memorize but see It in action. So put your notes down cause you have it word for word. Amy, I mean Kathleen, Kathleen. We're working with Brother Kathleen. We met at a party, we're talking, we feel a rapport, you like me, I'm a bright guy, we're just having fun, all right? I'd say something like, "You know, I was reading the mo st interesting book on relationships. It was talking about how so many people just charge right into one without ever really pausing to consider what it is that would really please them, what it is they really want. Cause I think there's a difference between what people are just to on the one hand and what it is they really want on the other. So, it just had some interesting questions in there about if you ask yourself these questions, it'll help
Kathleen: I'd probably agree with your second point. They have to keep their word. Ross: "Keep their word. Now I'm curious. Why I asking this, I'm really getting curious. When you say
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keep their word, do you mean all the time, 100 percent of the time?"
the person is doing, it doesn't tell me whether that does for her. Okay? It's like saying sandwich instead of nutrition. Sandwich is the means, the value is nutrition. Okay? "So what were you saying? What was it? Fun and, fun and what? Adventure?"
Kathleen: Urn, it depends on how important the situation is that can, they can probably vary and be somewhat flexible.
Kathleen: Yeah.
Ross: "Hmmm. But it is important that people keep their word and I agree with you. Cause otherwise, what's the point? I mean, you might as well be by yourself if people aren't going to do, follow through. Don't you think?"
Ross: "I've got to tell you. You know, I agree with you because, otherwise I could watch Ren and Stimpy all day, you know?" Kathleen & Audience: Laughter
Kathleen: Uh huh.
Ross: "And eat my cheesy poofs.” Okay? "Well, well, you know, this book, it's kind of a fruity book. I don't know if I believe it or not. We probably shouldn't talk about this. You're not interested are you?"
Ross: "I mean, you may as well be all on your own. So there's no point unless they do keep their word and I agree with you. Well, that's real good. Let me ask you something else. I'll share with you. I'm just sharing, one of the things that's important to me in a relationship is mutual fun, really enjoying the person's company.” I'm just trying to prime the pump a little bit here. ”So I'm curious, cause they said in this book I read that you want to find at least three or four what they call values, and so far I know that friendship and trust are important to you. And I agree. What else is important to you in a relationship?"
Kathleen: Yeah, I'm interested. Ross: "Yeah, I'm interested. Well, this book was saying if you really want to understand someone, get four of these values. Okay? So, besides trust and, and friendship and fun and adventure, ...” Well fulfillment was really her stumbling way of trying to say fun and adventure. ”What, what else is important to you in a relationship?"
Kathleen: Um, that they lead an active life.
Kathleen: Um ...
Ross: "That they lead an active life.” Now that really is not a value in a relationship. She's describing something, a quality about the person.
Ross: I had to, by the way, did you have any of the passion fruit punch? Kathleen: Oh, ...
Now I want to chunk up a little bit, find out what that does for her. Okay, so I'll say, "Well, having an active life, when you're with someone who has an active life, what does that allow you to experience?"
Audience: Laughter Kathleen: Gee, I don't know. _____ passion. Ross: Oh ...
Kathleen: I think like a fulfillment because you can experience a lot of new things with them ...
Audience: Laughter Ross: No, is it important to you?
Ross: "Ah, so it allows you to experience new things with them?"
Kathleen: Oh yes.
Kathleen: Yeah.
Ross: "Oh yes. Umm. So, passion ...”
Ross: "When you experience new things with people, what does that allow you to, what's, what emotion does that allow you to feel, what does it allow you to have when you experience new things with people? If you could put ...”
Audience: Laughter ?: Is it a psychic exp erience _____ . Ross: "Passion is important to you.” By the way, I have an anchor I've set on, on Kathleen all weekend. Whenever I talked about something sexual or something like that, I'd go _____ .
Kathleen: Like adventure and fun. Ross: "Adventure and fun.” So now we have another value. The value is, twin value, it's adventure and fun. So she started out by saying, "It's important to be with someone who has an active lifestyle.” That doesn't tell me what the value is. It just tells me what
Audience: Laughter. Ross: Does the anchor work? Kathleen: Well, yeah. I mean it reminds me of that.
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Ross: Oh yeah. I know.
trust?"
Audience: Laughter
Kathleen: Yeah.
Ross: Everyone's going to be walking up going _____ .
Ross: "Well, can you tell me what that difference is? Cause I'm curious. I'm not playing with you guys, I don't know what she means, if there is a difference.”
Audience: Laughter
Kathleen: There is something, I trying to figure out how to put it, express it. Friendship is like a type of relationship I guess. And trust is like more of a quality ...
Ross: It's going to be a roomful of fucking gophers. For those of you a home, the anchor is biting my lip with my upper teeth. Now we got a bunch of gophers. Some of you are going to try and reverse it and go _____ .
Ross: Okay. So I would say her first ...
Kathleen & Audience: Laughter
Kathleen: It's like a, more of a _____ .
Ross: "Well, so passion's important to you. Well let me ask you a question. What has to happen in order for you to experience passion, Kathleen?" Hear the command?
Ross: Her first answer is really not a value in a relationship. She's talking about a certain kind of relationship. So I'd strike that one off. Yeah, I'd strike off friendship. ”So let me ask you a question. In addition to trust, fun and adventure and passion, what else is important to you in a relationship? By the way, it's fun that we're mutually learning together tonight, isn't it?"
Kathleen: Well ... Ross: I'm going to turn on the projector. No. Well, look where she looks. Well ... Kathleen: I mean, there's one obvious answer.
Kathleen: Yeah, and I keep wanting to say qualities about people.
Ross: Is there ...
Ross: Well go ahead and say the quality and I'll help you chunk up. Go, what's ...
Kathleen: Which would be like sex, but ... Ross: "Sex.”
Kathleen: Well, the one I've said before like, like that they're intelligent.
?: I like sex. Ross: "You like sex.”
Ross: "Intelligent. Okay. When you're with, " so she's not getting me, do you understand the distinction between a quality in a person and a value in a relationship? A quality would be like intelligent, daring, handsome, sexy, fun, okay? And, and the value is what being with someone like that allows her to experience inside. So when you're with someone who's intelligent, what does it allow you to experience?
Audience: Laughter. Ross: She just said she likes sex. Kathleen: But it doesn't just have to be sex. It could, it could be something like just if they have emotions and they're not afraid to express them. Ross: "Okay. So someone, I'm willing to bet that someone's who's expressive in all ways allows you to experience passion.”
Kathleen: Intellectual stimulation. Ross: "Intellectual stimulation.”
Kathleen: Uh huh.
Audience: Laughter Ross: "Intellectual stimulation. Ah hah.”
Ross: "So being with someone who's expressive allows her to experience passion. You know, you've told me so much about yourself, I must say that in order for me to experience passion, it has to do with rubber suits.”
Audience: It's a value? Ross: For her it is, yeah. Stimulation, intellectual stimulation, wow. There's a spot in the brain called the bee spot.
Audience: Laughter Ross: "No, I think passion is a great thing. l agree with you. I mean, wow. So, so, let me ask you a question now. So, is there, I'm just curious, this is my own way to clarify cause I don't know. Is there a difference between friendship and
Audience: laughter Ross: It's up there, huh? You touched it. ”What would it be like if every time you touched that spot
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Audience: Laughter
One of the things I can generally say about Amy is ...
Ross: Now, she knows what I'm doing but it's still working. ”Well, I think that's good. You know, now this book said something really fruity. I mean, I don't believe it myself, but I just had to share it with you. This book said that people actually put these values in a certain and to find out this book said you should ask, " what am I doing there?
Audience: Kathleen. Ross: Kathleen, Kathleen. We can edit out her name. Okay. Kathleen has told us a lot about herself. One of the things that Kathleen has told, I'm sorry, you're not my servant, I'll do it myself One of the things that Kathleen has told us about herself is Kathleen does not want to be bored. Kathleen really seeks adventure and excitement and if you bore her, boy, you're going to be out of there right fast. Uh huh, uh huh. Right?
Audience: Comments from audience Ross: "This book said you should ask, of those values, of trust, fun and adventure, passion, and intellectual stimulation, which one must you absolutely have to have, which is the most important, which one would you absolutely not be able to do without in a relationship of all of those?"
?: She will be out of there. Ross: She will be out of there right fast. Kathleen: I will run screaming. Ross: "You will run screaming.”
Kathleen: Passion.
?: Like a fucking _____ , out the door.
Ross: "Passion. Oh yeah.” Watch out for these Kansas girls. Okay. ”Passion. So, of fun and adventure, trust and intellectual stimulation, which one of those would you have to have? Fun and adventure, trust, intellectual stimulation.”
Ross: Now let me, let me deal with something else with you. ”I know it's also very important to you in your strategy for looking for someone that you find someone who's really compatible right away. But the challenge with that is compatible people may not be terribly exciting. Maybe the most exciting thing is to meet someone who's on your level and yet different enough to lead you into new ways of excitement. So maybe the process you've been using to look for that person, the sort for them, is doing the very thing that would stop you from finding someone who would fulfill you much greater. So maybe the thing to think about is to change your process and that's easy.” So, she's done a great job. Give her a big hand.
Kathleen: Probably fun and adventure. Ross: "Fun and adventure. Ummm.” We're learning a lot about her values. Okay. ”Of trust and intellectual stimulation ...” Kathleen: Trust. Ross: "Trust.” Boy, she shut me down fast there. ”So now this book said something really interesting. This book said if you name those four values all in a row, people go into a massive pleasure state. I don't believe it myself But according to the book, if I were to say to you, you know, maybe what you're really looking for, what would really fulfill you is a special relationship. A relationship based on passion, fun and adventure, trust and intellectual stimulation. Can you feel that?"
Audience: Applause.
BREAK IN TAPE
Brother Orion: ... any of the, you know, other patterns
Kathleen & Audience: Laughter
_____ you know, when I was doing like, like when we were in Palo Alto, but at a, at, the first thing we did when we were out in the hall and I started talking to you and you hadn't seen this pattern yet. So it was the way, you knew a little bit about the patterns, instantaneous connection, but you hadn't seen this yet. So it was my way to get to know you better without, you know what I mean, doing something that you would have recognized. And passion, fun and adventure, trust and intellectual stimulation, cool, cool. And you're able to feel really comfortable in front of a group of people. That's nice, too. And what I want to talk about is when I did the instantaneous
Ross: "Would it be something you'd like to create an opening for?" Kathleen: Oh yeah. Ross: "And the interesting thing about creating openings for things, openings to move in completely new directions, is it's not enough ...” Now, okay. Do you get the point? Audience: Uh huh Ross: Now, Amy's told us a lot about yourself, herself
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connection pattern with Kim up here before, I was reading it out of the book. I have it memorized, but it's memorized a little bit differently. Same thing with the blamo pattern. And I'm not going to read it out of the book. It's in there. I think it's page 59 and you can read it word for word. It's almost the identical structure to the way I read, but I want to do it more natural, my own way. These patterns change, but I have memorized it word for word from an earlier version of it. So, the first thing you want to do is you want to create comfort and a sense of, you know, that you feel really comfortable, using fluff talk or whatever it is that allows you, for all your own reasons, to feel comfortable. And then the next thing that you want to do is you want talk about an instantaneous connection. And one of the things that you do here, you can do here, you can, the whole pattern of the blamo bring together a lot about of what we've been talking about and it also moves from being general to being specific and personal. ”So, you know, I was talking to a friend of mine and she was reading an article in PLAYBOY ...” Okay, maybe it wasn't PLAYBOY.” She was reading an article in some woman's magazine talking about the way that people feel incredible connections. The way that with some people, you know, just don't connect, but with other people you feel almost like you were meant to know them. Like if it's destiny. But some people say that it's almost like there's a cord of light there, like you feel an energy, the warmth, a cord of blue light, or it's almost as if you just feel like as you talk to this person and feel so comfortable, like you're meant to be together, you can even imagine a time in the future, say months from now, still feeling that wonderful sense of connection that you deserve to feel it, and looking back on this moment as having been the start of it. Now, with me, I think being able to feel that kind of a connection is such an incredible thing to experience and it makes me think that, you know, as my friend was telling me, she thinks things happen in a certain way in your mind.” Now I'm going to talk a little bit about the structure of experience. ”You know, they don't just happen like all of a sudden, you know? Connection is there. You actually go through the process, you feel like you're, you know, beginning to get that, to know this person better, beginning to feel that powerful connection, see that cord of light, Things in your mind happen in a certain way. Like, for example, I was, I was reading an article in a psychology magazine about the way that certain things in our environment trigger off certain states of mind. And it's interesting how people perceive things in different ways. Like, do you like to ride roller coasters?"
Kathleen: Uh huh. Brother Orion: "Uh huh. You do like roller coasters. I went, I went and rode the most amazing roller coaster last week and when I remember it in my mind, I remember it in a certain way. Well let me show you how this works. Can you remember a time when you rode a, a really good roller coaster?" Kathleen: Uh huh. Brother Orion: "Okay, now, I don't know whether you imagine easier, more easily with your eyes open or your eyes closed.” Kathleen: Umm. Brother Orion: "Closed.” Kathleen: Okay. Brother Orion: That's better. Audience: laughter Kathleen: _____ but _____ . Brother Orion: "Close your eyes.” Ross: I'll hold this for her so she doesn't ... Brother Orion: I'll hold it for her, it's okay. Ross: Okay. Brother Orion: Okay, thanks. ”Okay, close your eyes.” Kathleen: Uh huh Brother Orion: "Forget everything, about all of that, and what I want you to do for a moment is I want you to see yourself, you know how on roller coasters these days there's a camera up there that takes a picture of you as you go on the ride?" Kathleen: Uh huh Brother Orion: "And you can look at the picture afterwards. I want you to see yourself as if you're sitting in that camera, seeing that Brother Kathleen, on that roller coaster riding it. Notice how she takes the ride for a little while. Now open your eyes and look at me. Okay? And this time I want you to close your eyes. But this time step into that person there on that roller coaster to begin feel that long, slow ascent to get to the top and come screaming down. See what you saw, hear what you heard and feel how it feels. That's right. Open your eyes and look at me.” And link all those wonderful feelings to me. Which is what when you say open your eyes and look at me, it does. Ross: You wouldn't say that. Audience: Do you say that? ?: No.
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Ross: He wouldn't actually ...
Kathleen: Laughing
Brother Orion: I wouldn't say and link all those feelings to me, no.
Brother Orion: This happens a lot when you massage people who are a little ticklish, a little sensitive. What I want you to do is you see that dial there? Is it on the left or the right side? On the left. Okay. Go ahead and put your finger on the tickle, on the giggle dial, and turn it down. And now you see right next that the relaxed and comfortable dial?
Audience: Laughter Brother Orion: But I could. It's been done. ”What I want to ask you now, cause I think it's interesting how people experience things in different ways.” Ah, no, that's okay. I was going to hold it, but, or I was going to give it back to her, but I'm going to have you close your eyes again in a minute to show you something else. ”What's interesting to me is you experience it in two different ways. And what, what I'm curious about is when you think about it, which one was more real for you, the first one or the second one? Which one allowed you to actually feel the feelings?"
Kathleen: Uh huh. Brother Orion: Turn that one up only as slowly as you feel more relaxed and comfortable, keeping your eyes closed. Okay? Now, that's right. Go back to that experience of exquisite pleasure; see what you saw, hear what you heard, and feel how it felt. And as you do that, once it reaches its peak, just lift your thumb just a little bit to let me know you feel that now. That's right. Take all the time you like. The next few seconds to feel those feelings building into a peak. Great. Great. And just once they reach the peak lift that thumb just a little bit. Great. Okay. Now, open your eyes and look at me. Now, you reached a couple of peaks in there.
Kathleen: Umm, when I was actually on ... Brother Orion: "When you were actually on the roller coaster. Right. Cause you're actually in the experience now. I want to show something really cool about the way the mind works. It's something called anchoring. Something that allows you to reexperience a feeling. So what I want you to do is I want you to remember a time when you felt exquisite pleasure in your body, now don't worry, you don't have to tell me what it was at that time, right there, oh yeah. Close your eyes ...”
Audience: Laughter Ross: I was watching that movie. Brother Orion: So I was, I was anchoring them as I went. I was anchoring them as I went. Now put your, now, put your mind back to that place. Close your eyes and really see what you saw, hear what you heard, and, ooo, feel how it felt and maybe even smell and taste those smells, that's right, as you feel those feelings building, only once they reach their peak lift that thumb right there to let me know. Great. Hold on to those feelings as you open your eyes and look at me. All right. Now the third time is the magic time. So close your eyes and allow yourself to enjoy that experience so deeply. Notice how every single inch of your skin feels. Notice every sound, whisper, sigh, whatever sound you hear, every feeling, and all the things you're seeing, the colors. And as it begins to reach it peak and only once it really begins to reach its peak, lift up that thumb to let me know. That's right. Great. Now hold on to those feelings and really enjoy them. Open your eyes and look at me. Now it's so interesting how a certain feeling can happen in a certain way. But your mind knows something else. Your mind knows how to even intensify things. Close your eyes for a moment. If that feels great and now I've got my finger on her, just arbitrarily on her, in her elbow, inside of her elbow. And now I'm going to allow those feelings to intensify, cause you would like to feel them intensify, wouldn't you? Okay? Now if
Audience: Laughter Brother Orion: "Close your eyes.” Don't worry. None of these guys know, oh my god. Only Ross and I can see the images that she's seeing. Oh man. I'm just kidding. ”Close your eyes.” It's not embarrassing cause nobody else knows what you're thinking. Kathleen: Now they do. Brother Orion: No they don't. Ross: _____ projector. Brother Orion: _____ beautiful sunset. ”Close your eyes and remember what you really want to remember to feel wonderful, see what you saw, hear what you heard, ooo, all right, take a moment in that time, remember only the good parts, feel what you felt, see what you saw, hear what you heard, and once it reaches it's peak, just wiggle that thought just a little bit toward me now.” Kathleen: I'm giggling too much. Brother Orion: Okay. Wait, just a minute. I get this sometimes from people. Open your eyes. What I want you to notice is that, the reason you're giggling is because you have your giggle dial turned up a little too high.
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that feels great, you know, when you begin to intensify it, it feels even better. That's right. Ummm. And I'm moving my hand up her arm; a slight anchor it's called. So if that feels great, you could feel even better. Open your eyes and look at me. What's amazing is sometimes you can just be talking to someone in a, you know, just having a conversation about some fascinating thoughts. And for whatever mysterious reason, you just start to feel great and even better, don't you? And you could even cycle those feelings back inside yourself to feel great and even better; great and even better. And I'm firing off the anchor again and again and again and
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Kathleen: It's not you.
it's intensifying each time. It feels pretty good, don't you?
Brother Orion: It's not you. But you know what it is.
Kathleen: Uh huh.
Ross: I don't care.
Brother Orion: Yeah, uh huh. Okay. No, it's not done yet, of course. The blamo pattern has even more cause I, we're going to let them up now, not yet, okay.
Brother Orion: You know what it is? Amy took her, took her hands, ... Ross: _____ .
Kathleen: No.
Brother Orion: Amy took her hand ...
Brother Orion: This is where it gets interesting.
Ross: Kathleen ...
Ross: We're going to huff and puff and blow their house down.
Brother Orion: Sorry, Brother Kathleen, Brother Kathleen took her thumb and pointed behind her with her thumb with her hand curled. Does this look like anything you've seen before?
Audience: Comment from audience Brother Orion: This is, it gets interesting because this is where, where I, I get into some things that I think are really fascinating about the way the, your mind works, the way that a lot of people look at and think about things. And that is that people need a way to sort out their subjective experience, to see images in a certain way in your mind. For example, if you, imagine that your mind was a big blank movie screen. Right? And you were to think of an experience that you had, right, where you felt just somebody you really, really liked. And as you think about that person, if you were to take and point with your finger to where see, Missy, that person's picture, where might you point right now? Okay. You knew right where it's at. Right there. And now I'm going, she's pointing and I'm going to put my hand right where she sees it. Right there? And I'm going to check. I've got it in the right place? Treat the, oh thank you, see, she corrected me. Treat the picture that it, like it's real. A lot of women will say, "What do you mean?" or "I don't understand.” Well, if you, if you could see an image or if your mind was a big movie screen or if there was an image, you suppose, where might it be? So is it right here? Someone you really like? Okay. Now, I'm going to leave that right there. But I want you to think about somebody, either somebody you really don't like or somebody you just don't care about. Someone who's no big deal. Okay. And as you seem to, as you seem to see an image of that person, where might you point to that picture right at now. Ooo, it's behind you.
Audience: Yes. Comments from audience Brother Orion: Now what do you, what ... Ross: Laughing Brother Orion: Say it, say it. Go ahead. Kathleen: Oh god. YOU'RE OUT OF HERE Brother Orion: So you don't do it like that. You don't say you're out of here like that? Kathleen: No, I ... Brother Orion: Okay. Kathleen: ... pump it, pump it. Brother Orion: Oh you pump it forward. So you don't say you're out of it like behind you. Okay. But do put people that you, that you don't care about behind you. Right? Now if would've just take and just for no reason whatsoever, just want to move that person's picture, just try in vain to move that person's picture from that place of someone you don't like into the person you really like, just try in vain. Yeah. It's like it doesn't, yeah, it, you're shaking your head no. It, it doesn't want to move. Your mind needs a way to sort out images in your mind. Isn't that interesting how sometimes, and now I'm going to stand in front of her picture if I can of someone she really likes, and you know, use that space in the future. Ross: _____ bite your lip. Audience: Laughter
Audience: Laughter
Brother Orion: No, it's you. It's your lip. It's your lip.
Brother Orion: It's behind you. You know what's interesting ...
Ross: Bite my lip?
Audience: Laughter
Audience: Laughter
Brother Orion: _____ , no, no, no, it's not you.
Ross: Don't follow the suggestions.
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Brother Orion: What I want you to do though is, I, is, what I'm curious about is, is the way that people sort things out in their mind is so fascinating. If you were to, for example, have you ever fallen in love?
Brother Orion: "I mean, can you imagine that? Did, did, you know, did she really, did he really expect her to think about that all night long? And you know what was so interesting? He actually, she actually played along with it. She turned around and she said, 'You know that feeling you get right before you have an orgasm and you feel those feelings pulsing and swirling through every inch of your body? God, I didn't know how much better she thought she was making him feel but it was just so interesting.”
Kathleen: Uh huh Brother Orion: Uh huh. Yeah. Felt pretty good. If you were to, as you think about falling in love, if you were to point to where you see him, to see a picture of falling in love, where might you point right now? Ooo, right in front of you. Right in front of you and a little up. Is this the right place? Please. Oh, notice how she corrected me. Okay. And you know what is so interesting about the way that people make images in your mind, for example, you know, think about the way that people feel connections, the way that you feel great and even better, and fire off _____ the again. If you were to, for example, think, think about my voice and hear my voice coming from that space of falling in love, and maybe even feel a certain warmth there, color, as you allow it to penetrate your thoughts and move and swirl and feeling better and better. What's amazing that I think is the way that a person can allow yourself, give yourself permission, to feel those wonderful feelings flooding inside your mind, to let those feelings come from that place of falling in love, penetrate your thoughts and feel you up and they spread down through every part of you. And now I'm going to intensify it using quotes _____ separating. Now, it's so interesting how sometimes those feelings can cause a person to act in a certain way. I mean, I was sitting in a bar once, went out, and this woman next to me was just sitting there having a drink and this guy came up to her and he'd been looking at her, and he just said, "If I were to say to you, can you imagine what it would feel like if I were going down on you ...”
Audience: Laughter Ross: I think you're going beyond the blamo, though, _____ and quotes. So you've done a great job. Brother Orion: No, no. Blamo's, blamo in the book includes the quotes at the end. And then you just wait for them to pounce or you pounce on them. Ross: Yeah. Let's give them both a huge hand. Audience: Applause.
Yates: This is the end of Side 19 of the Ross Jeffries Basic Speed Seduction Seminar
Ross: Uh, uh, uh, uh. We're, let's not, let's not go there. Brother Orion: Well, I won't say it to her, I'll say it to ... Ross: Let's not say it to her. Brother Orion: I'll say it to the lights up, up there. ”If you'd imagine how it would feel if I were going down on you for hours, exactly the way you like, and you were so hot and so turned on, that you were begging to have it, begging to really get it the way you've always wanted it. Wow. I mean ...” Ross: _____ muffins. Brother Orion: Laughing Kathleen: _____ muffins.
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about this. This is probably going to be one of the most embarrassing things that I've ever had to do in my life. I can't believe I'm doing this.” And now, after this is over with, I'm thinking, "I can't believe that I wouldn't consider doing something like this.” This stuff is real and the, the work that was done here over the weekend is extremely incredible and, and this is coming from someone who's had no prior exposure to this stuff so I'm totally like I haven't been at all even told what to say or by any means, and it's been great. Thanks.
Tape 10 – Side 2 Yates: Welcome to Side 20 of the Ross Jeffries Basic Speed Seduction Seminar
Yates: This is the end of the Ross Jeffries Speed Seduction Seminar for those basic students. And at the end of this seminar what we did was we passed the microphone around, after giving a little bit of instruction, and we let any number of students who would like to speak tell about their experience in this seminar. And that is what follows on the next few minutes of this tape. So stand by.
?: I would like to add that I met Ross just about a couple of months ago. I got introduced to the materials and before that time, I had a completely different paradigm about women in general, just the whole thing. This has not only changed my perspective in giving me the tools and the confidence but it's given me a new way to understand them. And the seminar I thought, "Oh, you know, I'm going to go to the seminar. I'm going to meet a bunch of people that have, you know, tape on their glasses and they're going to be very strange and probably the best thing that's happened is I met a bunch of people, I have met some of the neatest people that I've ever met here and I've made some ...”
?: No. Ross: You don't need to say your name. You can if you want to, but you have 30 seconds _____ . Audience: One of the things I got was the ability to just walk up to any like really attractive woman and not, not just talk to her or get her phone number, but then decide if I wanted her or not, like I had a choice, so I said, "Ah, I don't want this. Forget it.” ?: That's great. Thank you.
Audience: Applause Mark: Anyone else? I've made some really amazing instant connections with people ...
?: I have a great deal of experience with NLP and hypnosis, but almost all the trainings I've gone to has not taken the technology and applied so you can get results. With Ross, you'll always get results.
Audience: Laughter ?: ... who, you know, I know that I'm going to have relationships for a long time and probably one of the most powerful things is I know that I'm going to have the support and I'm going to have community of people who think like me of really intelligent people that I can lean on and I can look to for support and encouragement in the future.
Ross: Oh, I like that one. Anybody else? Yes. ?: I've been studying Ross' material for several months now and it's literally made a change in my life in that I've got the attitude that a lot of brothers will have very soon. And it's also helped me in, in my personal life in non, non-female situations such as my business.
Ross: That's more than 30 seconds. Ali, Willie, do you want say something? Go as _____ , and then as you.
Ross: What about this seminar? Tell me what this seminar _____ made a difference.
?: I would just like to say, is this on? No, I'm kidding. I would just like to say that Ross' class is changed my life and, well, I think you people can see the ways on the new every night.
?: Coming to this seminar, it helped me tie up some loose ends that I was having personal challenges with and I will be working on them to improve it even more, but it had, it has helped me.
Audience: Laughter. ?: It's been a wonderful experience for me and, hah, ow, the teeth, it hurts a little, so ...
Ross: Okay. Somebody else. Yes, brother. ?: Urn, I have had no prior materials that I have used with this program. So I came into it really fresh. I remember the moment I walked through the door I was thinking, "God, I am really feeling uncomfortable
Audience: Laughter ?: I just want to, I just want to close by saying that me and my dog Buddy have both been getting laid much
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more often because of Ross, and I would just like to thank him very much. Let's hear it for young Ross. All right.
bring her in here. I mean, for me, that was just an epiphany to be, just, you know, that I could come that forward with someone and still have them just fascinated by me. It was amazing. Thanks a lot, Ross.
Audience: Applause
Ross: Yes, you're welcome. The more playful you are, the mo re blatant you can be. Yes?
Ross: Now what did you think of it? Tell them why you came.
?: I've come to several of Ross' seminars and I have to tell you that they really opened my mind and really changed my life in a lot of different ways and I think the people who have seen me over the last year have seen tremendous changes and I really appreciate the, the results I've received.
?: I came, I'm writing a screenplay about speed seduction. I read the ROLLING STONE article and said, "I have to meet this guy.” I called my manager, had the meeting, we hit it off. Ross trusted me, we got along well. And just as I've been telling people the project and showing them the articles, people always say the same thing. ”Oh, that's bullshit. It can't work. It can't work, it's bullshit.” And I said, "Well, you know what? I think there's a movie here. I think it's the real deal, so I'm going to go check it out.” And it's been amazing. I'm glad to say that I came. I'm glad to say that I checked it out and I'm going to write a kick-ass movie about it cause it's the real deal.
Ross: Yes, definitely. You want ... ?: Yeah, what? Ross: You already did one. ?: _____ . Ross: No, no, you already did one.
Ross: I told you, you didn't see what I did until you came to see it.
?: Looks good. Ross: You already did one.
?: Right. Now you can't see it by the articles. The articles, the marketing, in the articles is, is just a way to get your attention. Really, so much, so much more interesting stuff goes on here. It's been terrific. Thank you.
?: Okay, I'm very glad that I came to this seminar. My uncle told me about it. I wasn't sure. Ross: Who was your uncle? I'm just curious. ?: Fred.
Ross: You're welcome. Anybody else?
Ross: Oh, I remember. Good guy.
Audience: Applause
?: Right. And this seminar has made me think about things differently. Before I was concentrating on what I would say or what I wouldn't say, how I felt. Now I realize not to think about that and to pay attention to how the other person feels and watch their reactions. And not to hear a voice in my head. And I feel much better about that. And I feel that I'll be able to do a lot more things because of that.
Brother 0rion: I want to say that Ross tricked me. I thought when I came into this material this is going to be some way, you know, just to get women to get horny around me. But it's done a lot more than that. It's helped me to transform the quality of my life and to help me learn how to transform the quality of other people's lives and to give gifts that I can, you know, not just to, not just to women who I meet to let them have these incredible experiences, these incredible states and learnings, but to give guys more tools. Even if I just talk to a friend about relationships and give them some more, you know, insight about them without actually, you know, directly talking about the material presented, you know, and especially when I'm in here teaching you guys. It's just the best thing, it feels so good to know that I'm sharing something that's made such a tremendous difference in my life and, and one thing that I thought was really fascinating that happened this week is when I talked, went out there and talked to Lisa and I told her, you know, I, I teach, I'm teaching seduction and hypnosis and I was able to tell her exactly what's happening,
Ross: You will. You will. Kim: That's a good one. Ross: Bunny, you want to say something? No? Anybody else. ?: Here Ross. ?: Yes, Ross. ?: This seminar marks a year since I was first exposed to Ross' ideas and instructions. And my social life has been transformed completely. I, I started off using the tools, in particular the jokes and the codes and people who thought I was just somebody who fit in with the, with the woodwork thought that I was a really
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interesting guy. In addition to my social life also it's in other areas I'm much more open and I'm, I have so many possibilities in front of me. And I just want to thank Ross for that.
?: Over here. ?: Ross' material gave me the choices and opportunities that I never used to have in every way. Coming to this seminar brought the technology to life, sort of like standing, the difference between standing on a beach and watching that sunset and looking at a crumpled up black and white photograph or running down on a football field scoring that touchdown and reading about it in the next day's newspaper. And, so if you want this to happen to you in the real world, then you need to take this opportunity and go to a seminar.
Ross: You're welcome, _____ . Audience: Applause. ?: Anybody else? Ross: Anybody else. ?: He's already gone. ?: _____ two years ago, okay, I got out of a divorce, okay? It was a pretty bad divorce and everything and it took me a long time to recover from it. Anyway, after I, I kind of dated for a long while and you went out on a Saturday night and you always were hoping to get lucky and find somebody, okay? A lot of the somebodies that you took home or that you found were people that you really wouldn't be satisfied with or that you, that you would never date now. Okay? Anyway, after getting Ross' course, I was able to communicate with women much, much better. Okay? And now the women that I talk to and that I have a relationship with are just no where near the caliber that I ever thought that I could. Okay? Now I'm able to find somebody that is worthy, okay? Somebody that make something better out of me. Somebody who's worth being with, okay? That is what your course has meant for me. Okay?
BREAK IN TAPE
Ross: We've now let you, we're going to wrap it because we've got to get out of this room. People want to watch the Bulls and the Bears. Go for it. ?: There was a time in my life when I, when I'd get excited about something that I'd actually become physically ill as a result of it. Right across the street from where this seminar is, is a place where I've probably thrown up five different times in my life. Fortunately, I've, fortunately, I've overcome that, but at the beginning of this seminar I noticed myself slipping back into those old patterns, because I was so excited about the opportunities that I'd enjoy here. On the second day of the seminar, ...
Ross: Very cool. Thank you. Very cool.
Ross: Like that character on South Park that throws up whenever ...
Audience: Applause Ross: "Before I came to Ross's course, my mother said that I should do something about my social and Ross, I want to say that thanks to you I have the courage to approach that blow-up doll that I've always dreamed of. Thank you, Ross Jeffries.” Yes
?: Right. Kenny. Ross: Wendy. Wendy Kesteberger. ?: Stan. Ross: Stan is the one who throws up, it's Wendy Kesteberger I'm talking about.
?: Just a note to, to anybody that's contemplating coming to one of these seminars, sure, if you use these tools, you are going to succeed in your relationships with women. But one of the important things that this seminar taught me is the fact that now I know I can step outside the box and use my rules.
?: Blahhhhh. Kim: Laughing ?: _____ .
Ross: I, that's great. You can step outside the box and use his own rules. Yes? Who's that?
?: But on the second day I volunteered to be a guinea pig up in front of the whole seminar and the, the techniques which were used on and with me and which I, I participated in made me so excited about the opportunities and the skills that I learned at this seminar that the illness that I felt coming on totally went away and now I'm just raring to go out there and get some.
?: You wanted it? You wanted it? ?: I'll take it. ?: Yep. ?: John.
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?: _____ with you?
to be, you know, making a gesture, I said, "I know you.”
Ross: Oh, wow. I don't even remember. Cool. I don't, cool. Good, good, good, good, good. Anybody else? Is that it?
Ross: Ah. ?: "Have you lived around here for a while?" And I kept my hand on my forehead. And she said, "Yeah, a couple of years.” And I said, "I know where it is. I've been reading a book on angels and you're on the cover.”
?: Here, I'll do it. Ross: You want to go? ?-. Sure, I'll go. Ross: Okay, good. Social proof
Ross: Laughing. Very good. And how did she respond?
?: Okay. Before I came to Ross, when I got his tapes, I had some doubts about believing that this stuff would work. But coming to this seminar has, he proved to me that this stuff really does work and as a person that grew up, you know, struggling to find things, because I never got the best of anything, you know, I always got the worst stuff. So I always tried to get the best of everything I could and I feel that Ross, if anything in your life that you want to get, you have to go and meet Ross. He will definitely change your life.
?: And she was, and I was, I was shaking, "My name's Paul.” And I held on to her hand for a good minute. Ross: Yeah. ?: And she's very, very busy. It was, you know, Saturday night at TGI Friday. Ross: How did she respond when you said "You're on the cover"? Did she smile and laugh? ?: She smiled, she glowed, ...
Audience: Applause.
Ross: Yeah. ?: It was like she tilted her head and it was ...
LONG SILENCE ON TAPE (FOLLOWING MAY BE A REPEAT OF PREVIOUS TAPE)
Ross: Now that's an example of the kind of thing where if you tell a guy that would work, he'd go, "No way.” But women respond to it. Excellent, very good. ?: I never would've tried that.
Brother Orion: Laughing Ross: There's nowhere for _____ .
Ross: No, well good. Good. Give him a big hand. You're making good progress.
?: And I said, "Great. Would you like some more?" And she said ...
Audience: Applause Ross: The point of the exercise is, is to get you, number one, to get you moving so you can actually say something. And, by the way, this is another exercise where we, where we're forgetting about the content, we're giving you nonsense content so instead you can focus on the process. And the process is to go up, get moving without hesitation, move, say something, and watch the response. And to train your attention to go somewhere other than inward into your own internal dialogue. And instead direct it outward and watch the response you're getting. Those of you who did not do the exercise are robbing yourselves of a very important skillset that you need to learn. Speed seduction is not just about knowing what words to say. It's also about noticing responses and paying attention.
Ross & Audience: laughing ?: "Sure.” And I said, "Okay.” Ross: Okay. Did you try it with anyone else. ?: I didn't try that, but I did try something else I'd never done before. Ross: Oh, follow directions. But tell us what you did. ?: The, the hostess who seated us, very attractive young lady and ... Ross: I've noticed that's often the case. ?: Yes. Ross: The ugly ones are in the kitchen. Audience: laughter ?: And I said, she seated us, and asked blah, blah, blah, blah. And I said, I put my hand to my forehead
BREAK IN TAPE
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Ross: Whoa. ?: _____ around the world and so far, so good, and
?: ... mostly in the rain to come here and I've been, I've met so many new friends and had so many exciting, fun approaches and experiences in the last three days that I didn't have the courage to or the, the materials and techniques to go about doing that before this seminar. I've learned a lot about how to communicate more effectively with people and to find the real reasons behind my past relationships and my, my past experiences with women that may have not have gone to the extent that I wished them to go to or to the length and this seminar has really opened my eyes up to that. And I feel my communication skills are a lot better as a result of it.
better days ahead. Thanks. Audience: Applause. ?: Dear Ross. My life before speed seduction with, with ... Ross: _____ . Try doing this. Instead of _____ , say what you think. ?: All right. Ross: _____ . ?: Sure. My life before speed seduction with chicks was pretty sad and pathetic. I would, every time I, I, I was very angry with women because they would always reject me and I thought that that was, they were just re, rejecting my approach. So now I would, it got to the point where I wouldn't even talk to them and I went out of my way to avoid them. Now, I know that I can approach and even, even if I do get rejected I know it's not me, it's just my approach and I need to work, and I keep needing to work on my approach. I'm not angry at women any more, I don't think they're bitches, it's just that they do, you know, I don't think they're, so I'm not sad and lonely any more. I can walk around life with a lot more happiness and joy cause I'm not walking around angry at a certain part of my life anymore.
Ross: Good. Make it count and kick some ass. All right. Thank you all for being here. Audience: Thank you, Ross. Comments from audience. Ross: You're welcome.
Ross: That's cool. Audience: Applause Ross: Yeah. It's on. ?: Okay. Yeah, this, this seminar. It, it really clued me in to the idea that, you know, as I stand here, I know what's inside my own mind, but I have a very poor idea about what I am perceived like by you all here, you know. And it's a gap I, I, it's a gap that won't be here in six months, or some length of time in the future. And, you know, all of you are my brothers and I want you to know that, you know, I need all of you to let me know what it is that I really do because otherwise I won't. Ross: Thank you. Is that it? Are you done? One more and let's get out of here. ?: The Bulls and the Bears. ?: This is the first of Ross' seminars that I've ever attended and my first real exposure to speed seduction materials and I just honestly say it was quite worth it. I drove 350 miles ...
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