Subject: How to make an enemy, ACTUALLY for REAL tyler
Joined: 22 Feb 2005 Posts: 95 Posted: Tue Sep 27, 2005 9:26 pm enemy, ACTUALLY for REAL
Post subject: How to make an
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------For late comers.. "How to make an enemy, ACTUALLY for REAL" Just looking to address an issue here.. What's in here accounts for pretty much every guy who has beef with me, and the lessons that took me three years to learn.. This used to annoy me big time, but these days I understand it better and I don't care.. I'm on my path to world domination and I actually wish these guys the best.. But I see a lot of you guys about to go down my old paths, and I want to offer a heads up so you know what to expect.. When you start teaching pickup, you'll have a lot of guys wanting to be friends with you. Many of them are really cool guys. What's interesting, and what you will have a blind spot towards at the time, is that many of these guys would not be friends with you were it not for what you have to offer them. It's hard to believe, because their personality will be very authentic. And IS IT. It's just that it's ONE SIDE of their personality, and you're not being shown the other sides. They DO like you, and the difference between them and a normal guy friend is extremely subtle. It takes a long time to recognize this. I mean, it is REALLY subtle. You'll probably only recognize it after you've been on the other side of it for quite a while. Eventually though, like with girls, you will develop a value awareness for where you stand with guys. Now there are THREE types of guys who you will meet when you're in RSD: 1- The best of the best. The type who you want to learn from yourself, and whose game will get good enough to join RSD. This type of guy will often join RSD, and therefore you will remain friends with him because you will be in the same clique. Or, he won't want to join RSD, since the reason he's cool in the first place is because he has a LIFE. He's also the kind of guy who if you talk too much about pickup or invite him to hang on workshops will actually ditch you, because he just found you to be a cool guy and all he wanted was to hang out.
2- The kind of guy who knows that his game will never be good enough to join RSD, and therefore you will remain friends with him because you will always have something to offer him in the future. 3- The worst kind of guy. The kind of guy whose game is better than average, but basically sucks because it doesn't go anywhere. This is the guy who can do a good initial approach, and hang on workshop to help shove students in set and offer a bit of advice. He's not trying to come across like a guru, so you let him hang out because he's a nice person and you enjoy his company. He actually appreciates that he's getting to learn a bit more from you on an ongoing basis. However, he cannot actually CLOSE and he is not a cool enough of guy that you would feel good about having students MODEL him. And when he gets frustrated at not being able to close, he realizes the solution to his problems.... "Those who cannot DO... TEACH..." The problem with the third type of guy is that he will have increased his internal validation by hanging with you, and when you tell him that he can't join RSD he will be forced to rationalize that YOU are the problem and not HIM. He will feel like you have DE-VALIDATED all of his progress for not ACKNOWLEDGING it by bringing him into business with you. This will actually mess the poor guy up, because what you did was YOU GAVE HIM MORE VALIDATION THAN HE WAS PREPARED OR ABLE TO HANDLE. You made him feel like a champ for getting to hang with you, but because he needed your acknowlegement to continue feeling that way he eventually resented you and the entire game for how he came to feel. In the end, you didn't really do him any favours. That leads him to "The 7 Steps of Becoming a Hater". There's the "MM 7 Steps," and then there's this: Step 1- He decides to start his own dating company and be a guru... Maybe he even tells you that he still wants to be down with RSD, he knows he's not on RSD's level yet, and he's just doing it to get even more experience to come back with later.. Whatever, its not your problem and he'll never have the charisma to go big anyway. So who cares. Step 2- He starts creating his own philosophies to distinguish himself from you. He rationalizes that your stuff wasn't that great anyway, and focuses overly on the 5% about your program that he disagrees with even though a week ago he wanted to join you. Step 3- He starts to become defensive and begins shit talking you when students ask him "Are you as good as the RSD guys?" and goes on and on about how what RSD teaches is evil.
Step 4- When he next sees you and you're nice to him, he feels guilty for everything he's said behind your back and so he unconsciously acts negative towards you even though you're supposed to be friends.. This leads to A) You stay positive and respond nicely, which he interprets as you obviously having an agenda because it doesn't make sense that you're being nice when he's being a dick, or B) You aren't as positive, which he uses as an excuse for why he never liked you anyway. Step 5- He goes on and on to his friends, students, and forums about how he used to be a "cool insider" with the RSD guys, and that he knows the 'REAL DEAL" about everything and that's why HE left on his own accord.. Apparently he never liked you anyway, and really he had game all along and you had nothing to do with getting him to whatever mediocre level he's reached.. Step 6- He becomes obsessed with you, and uses the few skills that he picked up while hanging out on YOUR workshops to run a half-assed but still better than average workshop, while twisting around theories that he learned while hanging around your programs into things that you never really said. You then get five emails a day from ex-students asking why you taught them the wrong stuff, because they read on the internet that a bonafide EX-REAL SOCIAL DYNAMICS INSTRUCTOR has "given up his old ways to see the light..." Step 7- You see him at an event and ask what's up, and he gets mad at you. Now you have to deal with some irrate little bitch in the room who hates you, when all you ever wanted to do was hang with a guy who seemed decent and wanted to learn. Now, none of this is a big deal. I'm definitely not a guy who minds confrontation. But I'm not looking to generate it either. And when I see this stuff, I wonder to myself, "Was it all worth it? If I could go back would I have let him hang out? Is this what I get for copping out and not finding people on my own level to associate with?" I'm such an optimistic guy, and I often naively project my own motivations of about self-improvement and working together to improve onto other people who don't share them. And when BEING NICE TO SOMEONE leads to you having more people who don't like you, you have to take a step back and wonder what you're doing wrong. In my opinion, it comes down to keeping your business and personal life separate. So to avoid this kind of thing, the solution is this: Do not make new friends from the community and especially from the Lounge as they are the most inclined towards problems. Do not crash at their houses and don't have them stay over at yours. Do not invite
them to hang with you, and do not bring them on or around programs. Do not answer their emails and do not return their calls. It leads them to think "I'm as good as them. I can do what they do. They're regular guys just like me. When we ate hamburgers together, I could tell that they weren't all that." Keep yourself off of their radars. Being around them will only give them a head complex. The big lesson I've learned is this: Focus on making friends with people who like you for you, and cultivating better relationships with the people who you're already friends with. I'll wrap this up with the latest example from this week. The latest guy on the scene is JT. JT is a pretty nice guy, and I like him. He had sex with a two girls after going out every night for a year, and even dedicated the LRs to RSD and Mystery among others. He was keen and could hold a set. He has not yet BLOSSOMED into a full-fledged RSD hater, and perhaps he never will. But it was interesting to me to see this post on the commercial Mystery Lounge, which was not all that bad but still left me kind of curious why he'd write it because it didn't reflect that we were nice to him and allowed him into our home a few times...: --"I was on the periphery for most of the action, but I knew the majority of the ProHo players and hung out there only occasionally on a social basis (I was friends with the only natural there- a non-PUA who's probably fucked as many if not more girls than the gurus and thinks that EVERY SINGLE PERSON in the house excluding him and Style were utter social nerds and/or basket cases- been surfing with Style, etc). I saw some of the drama, was told some of it, and read the rest on the boards. I would say AT LEAST 80% of the drama, dark shit, and negativity IS TRUE." --So reading this I was a bit surprised and confused, but didn't really care and I forgot about it. Then later in the day I read this on the Lair: --The Asian Playboy sent me this announcement about a free (well, sort-of) seminar he's holding for all the local boys in Dallas this October. On Saturday, October 15th the Dallas Lair will be holding it's first
ever Introductory Bootcamp. The workshop will be complete with a 4 hour seminar and 4 hour in-field workshop nighttime extravaganza. The daytime seminar will consist of: Building Inner Game & Confidence Style & Fashion Direct vs Indirect Game Body Language Sparking Attraction Vibing & Making Conversation Getting Sexual Using Logistics to your Advantage And more The nighttime portion of the workshop will give you a chance to experiment with what you've just learned. It's a hands-on experience where you can practice sarging with the Lair and receive insightful feedback on the fastest and most effective path to stepping up your game. Expect to be opening sets, trying new things, and having a hell of a lot of fun. The guest instructors will be Prophet, a Mystery Method instructor and communication guru, and the highly cultured Asian Playboy, an independent instructor who has studied under the world's most famous dating coaches. You MUST contact us in order to be officially signed up. Space is limited, so RSVP now. Cover is $20. Refreshments will be provided during the seminar. The events kick off at 4pm and you'll want to schedule enough time to last through the night, until we wrap up at 2am with an optional breakdown and debriefing. You will be responsible for transportation, club fees, and any drinks you might purchase at the bar (Only for yourself of course. We kick you out if we catch you buying chicks drinks). And this is just a sneak preview of what's REALLY big coming to Dallas in November… Details will be revealed ringside during the bootcamp, VIP, 50-yard line, October 15th, at 4pm. --Aaaah, makes sense. Another one in a long line of more to come. Reminds me to keep doing what I'm doing now... That way, I will not make anymore new enemies.... actually... for real. PEACE!!! Back to top
hugh
Joined: 22 Feb 2005 Posts: 21 Posted: Wed Sep 28, 2005 12:21 am enemy, ACTUALLY for REAL
Post subject: Re: How to make an
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------Yo bro, I'll always have your back. You're my homie. Honorary yellow niggaa style. This is a very interesting phenomena. I know it sounds like an AMOG (it isn't), but you remind me alot of my friend Rhonda who used to be the singer guitarist in my old band. You both have very strong views, and you both have a habit of enforcing your frame in a conversation. She also had a bunch of people hanging off her, especially when she was in a position of power working at one of the biggest independent record companies in Australia. She found a lot of people she thought were friends talking shit about her when she was to the top, and even more so when she was on the way down. I think you have a strong personality and many people feel insecure about your brashness. These guys in category 3 never feel like they're on the same level and that builds up to some serious resentment. Maybe it's time for you to integrate some more humbleness in your interactions. Inside you there's a little Owen man-child. Let him out and introduce him your friends... to peace, love and hairy pussy. Back to top hugh
Joined: 22 Feb 2005 Posts: 21 Posted: Wed Sep 28, 2005 12:24 am
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... On second thought, fuck the humbleness. Best just to avoid the losers. Back to top tyler
Joined: 22 Feb 2005 Posts: 95 Posted: Wed Sep 28, 2005 3:11 am enemy, ACTUALLY for REAL
Post subject: Re: How to make an
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------hugh wrote: Inside you there's a little Owen man-child. Let him out and introduce him your friends... lol.. release owen-cito!!.. thanks for the advice man, i've been working to surround myself with the right guys and avoid losers, but i also remember you were saying the same thing about being more chill in the tube in london as well as in nick's room at pro ho, and you're spot on.. major SP of mine, and probably the other biggest way i make enemies other than the stuff i just posted.. i've been working on it for the last year but i have a ways to go.. i have a ton of help on it from you, randy, barry, and geoff.. on the good side i'm aware of it and have the best guys helping me out.. getting better every day because i'm a self improvement monkey.. come see me in a year and my owen man-child will be on steriods and fucking up the whole game!! Back to top geoff
Joined: 22 Feb 2005 Posts: 138 Posted: Wed Sep 28, 2005 11:42 pm
Post subject:
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------Wow, that is a funny thing for JT to post, especially since JT called
me several times trying to get on the actual mystery lounge, since JT was my first ever wingman when I was in LA, and since Randy hooked JT up several times hanging out with him. There's a new rule in place as Tyler said, and that is everyone is cut off. I even talked with JT recently, and I was giving him pointers on how to run a program. Well, I guess that's the way it goes, but hey the good thing is you learn to appreciate good friends. _________________ --Geoff Back to top randy
Joined: 22 Feb 2005 Posts: 38 Posted: Thu Sep 29, 2005 11:33 pm
Post subject:
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------he's been labeled a fagbitch and we're moving on. ---Randy
