Story

Hello to everyone, I just want to inform you that this will be a quite long story because it will cover almost my entire sexual life from 12 years old to 24 years old, today. I decided to do this not only because I lie writing but mostly !cause I thin that it is necessary in order to understand com"letely my addiction and the way I#m defeating it.  $his is an act of gratitude to the entire %o&a" %o&a" community that hel"ed me a lot in these last months, and I ho"e that I can contribute a little bit to hel" someone lie me, and the fact that I decided to write my story is an actual "roof of my renewed will "ower to do things, 4 months ago I just couldn#t c ouldn#t imagine that one day I would do such a thing. '()%I%*+ there are references to sexual acts, i tried to minimie them but in some cases they were necessaries to describe the situations, nothing too ex"licit though. -o, after all of the "remises, here is my story+ y name is &ederico and I#m 24 years old, I discovered the magic world of the masturbation at the age of 12 thans to a classmate/ at the time I was quite a child com"ared to other boys of the same age, I really new nothing about girls, sex and similar. I still remember those afternoons when I tried to wae u" my little friend, stroing it without any result, until a day, in the bathroom of a friend#s house, I reached, for what I can remember, my 0rst voluntary orgasm, and I reached it thining about a muscular woman. $he 0rst orgasm at all was some day before looing at the monitor of my com"uter in which there was a female bodybuilder I did nothing but that image shoced me in a "ositive way3 so much that I came without even touching myself. I thin that I have always been attracted by muscular women but it was in those days that the attraction became eectively a sexual attraction. -o day by day I acquired familiarity with the masturbation and with the sexual arousal watching images and not only fantasiing, mostly with the female fe male bodybuilder but also with the classic calendar calendar models, not so much with the "orn I have never been a big fan of the normal "orn3. In that 0rst "eriod my body didn#t "roduce s"erm yet, so the masturbations were less tiring and thans to this, one day I reached the "ersonal record of seven in a row, big tro"hy5 'ith the time the semen arrived and I acquired a more normal rhythm, with an average of one or two "er day. $he time "assed by, the masturbation became "art of  my life life,, a "leas "leasan antt habi habit, t, and and my attr attrac acti tion on for for musc muscula ularr wome women n cont contin inue ued d to increase with the arrive of 6ou$ube and the enhancing of my web com"etencies I started to watch videos and other funny things I never thought about masturbation in a negative way until then. I also fantasied about female friends, girls in the school, my catalogue was very vast. +7 I started high school and my hobby continued with no "roblem, never issed a girl but that was not a "roblem, I had my secret "assion for my hand and that was the only thing that matters. %ow in fact it#s the time to tal about girls+ I#m absolutely not a monster, maybe I#m not atthew c8ounaghey but I#m a quite "retty guy, I#m tall and I always "racticed s"ort, mainly swimming, so I was not bad at all from the age of 12 to the age of 19 I had a lot of o""ortunities with girls, girls that it was sure lied me, I sometimes went out with them but never found the courage to iss them or something lie this. It#s obvious that I new some girls that I lied very much, but most of times I hadn#t the balls to as them out, so normally I found myself in the city centre with a girl who lied me but that didn#t mean a lot to me. I always convinced me that I

deserve better, that I was in "eace with myself and that I needed the real one, the big love to go out of my comfort one. $his was in "art true, I had a good life, lot of  friends, a caring family and I also "rojected e successful image of me, I also told the "eo"le around me that I had a lot of sex with random girls new in some "arties in order to mae im"ossible for my friend to verify if it was true or not3 and they always trusted me "robably because of my success in the other 0elds of life school, s"ort, friends and so on3. $he im"ortant thing is that I was really satis0ed of my life, I didn#t need a girl to 0ll it, or at least I was convinced of that. (round 1: years old I began to have some doubts about my secret hobby, I started to be u"set of "assing my afternoons in front of a com"uter for hours and hours and seeing my friends having a more real life/ I started questioning if I was going a little over the line with masturbation. -o it was around that time that I tried my 0rst strea of no ;1>, and I remember also the enormous "leasure that I ex"erienced after 1= days of abstinence. I told me that I would continue to masturbate only after a strea of abstinence to try a more "leasant ex"erience, quality instead of quantity, but of course I restarted to ;< everyday for ; I refer not only to the classic "orn but mostly to videos of muscular women, that was my ?"erversion@ if I could de0ne it that way3. Aetween 1: and 2> years old I tried new strea of abstinence every now and then, I thin that I reached something between three wees and thirty days one time, but without nowing nothing about ;IB7 of  course, I had never issed a girl at the time, so the sex to"ic wasn#t contem"lated +73 I wasn#t sure that abstaining could be useful in some way, so every time I returned to my dear old habit with the same old rhythm.  $his is more or less the situation in which I arrived at the age of 2>+ single, never did nothing with a girl although having multi"les occasions, a lot of friends, satis0ed in other sides of life but not interiorly I was starting to be worried to be an addict and that it could be the cause of my lac of ex"erience with girls/ su"er0cially I was o with it but it was really oC ;robably not. I thin that my addiction made me feel sexually satis0ed but not emotionally "leased, I was convinced to be o and I didn#t want to lose time chasing some stu"id girl, that was my confusional way of thining, quite a mess to be honest. Dittle after my 2>th birthday I went out with a female university classmate, with a common friend a male classmate3 and a friend of her it was since some months that I was interested to her and that time maybe could be the right time to exit from my comfort one. $he main objective of the night was to mae our friend meet the girl, but in my mind I wanted to ex"ose my feeling to Brica, the name of my classmate. (t around around 1.>> am of 2Eth %ovember 2>12 I gave the 0rst iss in my life, the alcohol hel"ed a bit but I was really "roud of me/ just for information the other two antici"ated us by some minutes +7. Ay the way she became my girlfriend, I thought it was the right time for me to tae my res"onsibilities and all went well. -exually s"eaing we did nothing until Fanuary and I continued to ;< as nothing was dierent than before. (fter the 0rst hj of my life, that went "retty well, some days later, one night at home, we tried to have sex and my little friend was lie dead, nothing moved right there. I don#t thin that the main "roblem that time was the "orn addiction but the 0rst time

"erformance anxiety, mostly because I described me lie a 7on *iovanni who had lot of girls, so she obviously couldn#t now that that was my 0rst time and also using a condom wasn#t a big hel"3. I was inda de"ressed the day after but she didn#t mae me feel lie an idiot, she was very gentle to me. -ome days later we tried a second time time but nothing nothing changed changed,, maybe maybe my "enis "enis was initially initially a little little harder harder but then nothing it#s interesting to say that in both cases when we were on the sofa dressed, I was very aroused, it was when we get undressed and near to the "oint that my little friend became shy3. $he third night that we tried I failed as well but after that she gave me a hj and I became more relaxed, in my o"inion that was a turning "oint, I am grateful to her for her "atience. 'e decided to tae it easy and to wait a little bit to having sex, the months later we continued with hj, bj and cunnilingus I#m sorry to use this ind of word but I don#t now what is the softer word in Bnglish to describe it3 and it was in &ebruary that I decided that sto" masturbating could have hel"ed me. 'e started to get comfortable being naed together and touching us, and around Baster 2>1G I 0nally could enter inside her, just for a few seconds because my Fohn retired himself from the battleground but I was already satis0ed at the end o the month I had my 0rst orgasm inside her "lus with the diculty of wearing a condom3 and my con0dence was sy high. It was in that moment that my ha""iest and greatest sexual "eriod of my life started I could get hard when necessary, having successfully sex, and I sto""ed watching "orn and 14, so about a year later after I#ve decided to cut it u"3+ I didn#t want to masturbate so I limited to watch videos and so on but one day I came without touching myself and I was w as quite disa""ointed. Aut in truth I lied it, so after some days I started watching "orn and ejaculating without masturbation, only watching and thining. $he sex continued to be good and regular but it wasn#t the most interesting "art in our relationshi"/ in fact I never found my girlfriend so much sexy, it was her way of being and thining, and sharing our "assions together that made me love her, but she was also a good looing girl so it wasn#t so bad having sex with her, only it wasn#t the main m ain dish of our story. story. In the following year I continued my strange ind of masturbation but moving close to the ?classical one@, initially discovering that having a weight lie a boo3 on my "enis made easier to ejaculate, then moving the weight in order to orgasm quicer, then masturbating without touching directly my dic but doing it through the "anties and 0nally in 1E I decided decided to masturbate masturbate normally, normally, because because I was only lying to myself thining that I was "ure only by not touching directly myself. In the meantime

my sexual desire towards Brica decreased a lot, but after fantasiing a little at the beginning everything wored. It arrived the day of my 2Grd birthday in 1 all of the "roblems came u". (n advice to all of you, if you are in a situation lie this one, I "ray you, tal to your girlfriend, girlfriend, tal before it#s too late, she will hel" you and you will be lighter, lighter, and if she won#t, well maybe there#s something to thin about 1, I cannot say that ;< was the only cause but in my o"inion it was the "rimary cause I discovered that sex in a cou"le is fundamental, it#s lie an engine that should never sto", otherwise you start to drift a"art. I have been very synthetic on my love story but I can assure you that those 4 years have been the ha""iest in my life, a "eriod of great "ersonal growth, I became a man. Aut my addiction ruined it all, maybe it would have ended the same, but I was really furious with myself that I couldn#t be able to manage it. $he days before the brea u" I discovered %o&a" and all of that is subsequent and I started a strea of abstinence in order to be ready if there would be the occasion to have sex with her, to demonstrate that I really started changing I never told her about my addiction, I only told her that her reaction at my birthday shoced me and never let me enjoy sex anymore, that was true but as you now it wasn#t the only truth3 but it was too late, we didn#t sex for a last time. I tried convincing me that %o&a" was hel"ful for me and not only to satisfy her, but after some day of single life, arrived at day 21 I rela"sed, watching whatC ( muscular girl obviously, it was a nightmare. -o I arrived at 7ecember 21st 2>1, after more than a month "assed ;1 I didn#t have the occasion to ;<, and I was ha""y that after a longtime I managed to mae one day without touching myself. (nt the day after it continued. $he 8hristmas Bve I was really joyful, it was my Grd day %o&a", %o&a", I "lanned a %ew 6ears 6ears Bve ?on ?on the road@ with a friend and I felt a lot of energy inside me maybe because I had 0nished to write a letter for my ex girlfriend in which I analyed our story and doing that I understood that I had to begin a journey in order to get better, a "ersonal journey to ameliorate all of my negative as"ects, 0rst of all my addiction3. (nd so it was a casualty the beginning of my actual strea, and the "ositive eects arrived quiet soon+ I started being more con0dent, and in a real way not only in the a""arent way that I always was, more lined to the "resent, with more will to stay with others I never loved so much going out with friends3, the classical eects of 

nofa" nofa" we can say. I cut o com"let com"letely ely everythi everything ng line lined d with with "orn "orn and muscul muscular ar women, "orn also for ethical reasons I just want to say that in my o"inion there#s nothing wrong being attracted to muscular women, in fact I still thin that a 0t body is the sexiest, but I watched lot of videos inda fetish of domination that I didn#t want to share with others, something that I consider "ervert and that didn#t mae me ha""y/ it#s for this reason that I really wanted to eliminate it. )eading the theory of nofa" I discovered that the ?gold standard@ is 9> days so I decided trying reach them, better if  1>>, round number, not that it means that I would rela"se on day 1>1. E fourth wet dream, dream, I don#t remember remember about what but not muscles, muscles, I am sure, day 1>= I#ve seen -ara, she came to my a"artment one night and 0nally she gave me a hj/ incredible, I didn#t thin for a while about my "roblem and I came in a minute, I guess that this is a very good sign. %o chaser eect. 7ay 122, the night of my graduation graduation "arty, I ended u" in the car with her, we taled a lot she clearly wanted me to have sex with her but I refused. Aut I refused only for sentimental reasons and not because of my sexual anxiety and I have to be sincere, it required a strong will to refuse it because I was really really aroused. I want her to leave his boyfriend, I don#t wann wanna a beco become me her her frien friend d with with bene0 bene0ts ts beca becaus use e I#m I#m strt strtin ing g to have have very very stro strong ng feelings towards her. Fust in order to demonstrate how aroused I was let me tell you that I came only by her touching me trough my trousers, quite embarrassing but for a "erson aected by ;IB7 lie me I thin that it#s a sign that tecovery is woring. %o chaser eect. (nd now I#m here, day 12=.

-o, in conclusion+ the 0rst 2>JG> days of the recovery were s"ectacular, I really saw the dier dierenc ence e In me for what what concer concerns ns self self esteem, esteem, sociabil sociability ity and ha""in ha""iness ess in general, but I new that it wouldn#t last forever. In fact I didn#t ex"erienced a real Kat line, some days I felt quite blue but I was always conscious that the "rocess required u" and downs. In the second "hase of the recovery I get used to my new state of  mind, so I was less eu"horic but I continued to feel great, sim"ly this way of living started to become my new reality. &ive years ago I would never issed a girl met the same night, for instance. I feel really con0dent and all of the "eo"le around me told me that I have a big ego, some someth thin ing g never never ha"" ha""en ened ed in the the "ast "ast,, ahah ahah..