The Practicing Mind Author: Thomas M. Sterner New World World Library: Library: 2012 While this book is a selfhel! title and thorou"hly u ns#ientifi# in its a!!roa#h to the to!i# of #o"nition$ the author%s a!!roa#h to mana"in" the #o"niti&e fun#tions to fo#us on the !ro#ess of a#hie&in" a "oal$ rather than on the "oal itself$ seem worthwhile to #onsider$ #onsider$ !arti#ularly in desi"nin" user e'!erien#es. •
(ntrodu#tion
1. 2. +. . . 3. 6. . ;.
The Learnin" )e"ins *ro#ess$ Not *rodu#t (t%s ,ow -ou Look at (t /reatin" the ,abits We esire *er#e!tion /han"e /reates *atien#e The 4our 5S5 Words 78uanimity and 9/ Tea#h Te a#h and Learn from /hildren -our Skills Are
Introduction The author starts off in a rather weak$ usin" the meta!hor of the 5=ourney of life5 and su""estin" that 5!ea#e and #ontentment5 #an be found by takin" a !ro#essoriented a!!roa#h to thinkin". ,e obser&es o bser&es that "oaloriented thinkin" is a learned !ro#ess and that as #hildren !eo!le find the world to be a wondrous and en#hantin" !la#e !re#isely be#ause they ha&e no !ur!ose in life e'#e!t to en=oy li&in". Attem!tin" to a##om!lish somethin" means stri&in" and bein" dissatisfied in the meantime. A !erson who #an !lay the !iano well takes ! ride in the ability$ but seldom refle#ts on the years of !ra#ti#e it took to de&elo! that skill and the frustration they felt at the diffi#ulty of the learnin" !ro#ess. (t was an un!leasant stru""le. Mu#h of life is s!ent the un!leasant stru""le to a#hie&e$ bein" unha!!y until we ha&e finished somethin" and e&en then takin" a &ery short time to dis#o&er some new thin" we want and "oin" throu"h the #y#le of unha!!iness all o&er a"ain. We ne&er "et to the !oint where we ha&e a#hie&ed all we wanted and #an rela' and be ha!!y. We We seldom a!!re#iate the =ourney$ and feel stressed and unha!!y far more often than we feel satisfa#tion in our li&es. (f we #ould learn to fo#us on e'!erien#in" life or more a!tly$ if we #an remember how to do that we #an free oursel&es from a "reat deal of stress and misery. We We #an learn to feel ha!!iness before we ha&e rea#hed the "oal$ and we #an be more able to sort out whi#h "oals are worth !ursuin". That is the author%s au thor%s !ur!ose in the !resent book.
1 - The Learning Begins >irtually e&erythin" one mi"ht a#hie&e re8uires learnin" and !ra#ti#e. That is$ in order to be able to do somethin"$ you must learn to do it and !ra#ti#e doin" it. 4or e'am!le$ #hildren show "reat interest in musi#$ but do not en=oy learnin" and !ra#ti#in": they want to be#ome skilled ri"ht away so they #an !lay effortlessly. The slow and !ainstakin" !ro#ess of learnin" is onerous an d many #hildren lose interest some of them$ throu"h for#e of will or for#e of !arents$ soldier throu"h their lessons and e&entually learn to !lay well$ and find !leasure in e'er#isin" their skill. The author relates his own #hildhood e'!erien#e in this re"ard$ and su""ests that this #ontinued for many years (nto his twenties$ he was 5a !retty "ood musi#ian by most !eo!le%s standards5 and !layed "i"s in bars and #ountry #lubs. ,e was unable to make a li&in" at it$ but the lesson he took is that 5!ra#ti#e5 is not limited to musi# or the arts$ but is a!!li#able to any skill. ?7N: (%&e trimmed 8uite a lot it was a lon" and &ery selfindul"ent a##ount.@ ,e then talks about "olfin"$ whi#h is also a learned skill. ,e notes that whene&er he "oes out on the links$ he seldom noti#es anyone who is &ery "ood at !layin" "olf. Most of them are thorou"hly rotten. Naturally$ there are those who are e'tremely frustrated with their la#k of ability on the #ourse$ but for the most !art these terrible "olfers seem to be en=oyin" the a#ti&ity nonetheless. There%s a bit of a shift on this e'am!le to the notion of learnin": bad "olfers seem to assume that !layin" the "ame is a natural talent$ and think they #an learn to !lay =ust by wat#hin" others and e'!erimentin". That ne&er works out. (n some a#ti&ities$ it is fairly ob&ious that a lot of trainin" is ne#essary nobody would assume they #ould be#ome "ood at !layin" !iano =ust by wat#hin" others do it$ but that%s e'a#tly how they a!!roa#h the "ame of "olf. ,e "oes a bit floral about mental attitude$ e'!ressin" that our mindset im!a#ts our e'!erien#e and !er#e!tion. A healthy attitude enables a !erson to see thin"s !ositi&ely$ to ha&e the self#onfiden#e$ moti&ation$ and !atien#e to take a#tion it enables us to weather diffi#ulty and minor setba#ks without be#omin" dis#oura"ed. Swit#h to the notion of multitaskin" it is not merely enou"h to be doin" somethin" with e&ery moment of e&ery day$ but now we are e'!e#ted to do multi!le thin"s all at on#e. That sounds like a "reat idea$ but it has in many instan#es rea#hed an absurd le&el su#h that our attention is so dis!ersed that we don%t really fo#us on e&erythin". 9n to! of that$ there is so mu#h #om!etition for attention. The author mentions a !arty for his si'year old dau"hter. There was loud musi# o&er the main sound system$ and another sound system that !layed a different musi# from the house *A$ si' tele&ision monitors !layin" different !ro"rams$ about half a doen &ideo "ames all makin" noise to "et
attention$ et#. (t was a #a#o!hony of 5ba#k"round5 noise in whi#h nothin" #ould be dis#erned #learly$ and it made #on&ersation &irtually im!ossible. This is all &ery re#ent$ and the human mind wasn%t made to #o!e with it. We are not "eared to !ay attention to multi!le thin"s while doin" multi!le other thin"s. Whether we #ons#iously realie it or not$ it is a"itatin" and stressful. The mind does not !erform$ well under these #onditions. The 5!ra#ti#in" mind5 is 8uiet$ and fo#uses on one thin" &ery #losely and the a#t of thinkin" should be rela'ed and meditati&e rather than stru""lin" for attention a"ainst the din. ,e mentions that this is not a new !roblem in the !resent a"e that there was a 5#enturies old5 story about a 5Boman5 #hariot drawn by four horses$ whi#h re!resent the mind that runs in multi!le dire#tions. ?7N: (t was
2 - Process, Not Product There%s a lon" ramble about the "ame of "olf. (t takes lots of !ra#ti#in" to make the "ame fun$ and be#ause it is not fun !eo!le tend to ne"le#t to !ra#ti#e at it. (t takes a "reat deal of dis#i!line to bu#kle down and do the work$ and this is the reason many !eo!le be#ome dis#oura"ed. They do not ha&e the !atien#e to a!!ly themsel&es dili"ently enou"h to "et u! the stee!est !art of the learnin" #ur&e. There%s more meditatin" on how !eo!le tryin" to do too many thin"s and end u! doin" them all &ery !oorly be#ause they do not fo#us on anythin" suffi#iently. (t is ironi# that it takes a lot more effort to do somethin" badly$ and s!readin" oneself so thinly "uarantees that e&erythin" will be a stru""le. *eo!le who are &ery "ood at somethin" make it seem effortless and it is$ for them. ,e obli8uely des#ribes the Cenlike notion of doin" what you are doin". When you are !ra#ti#in"$ you are doin" e'a#tly that. (f you fo#us too mu#h on the desired out#ome$ you lose !ers!e#ti&e of your #urrent a#ti&ity. This inattenti&eness to the !ro#ess often !re&ents rea#hin" a satisfa#tory out#ome. ,e mentions the idea of 5"ood !ra#ti#in"5 whi#h means !ayin" attention to the !ro#ess of a#hie&in" a "oal. (f the !ro#ess is not done well$ the out#ome will not be "ood. -ou do not a#hie&e thin"s by wantin" to a a#hie&e them$ but by doin" the thin"s that are ne#essary to rea#h that destination. And ideally$ you should find =oy in the !ro#ess. ,e mulls o&er the a#t of learnin" somethin"$ whi#h is obser&ational and #on#e!tual$ whi#h is different than !ra#ti#in" as the latter means a#tually doin" somethin"$ and often doin" it attenti&ely and re!etiti&ely. -ou #an learn what it means to draw a strai"ht line without a ruler &ery easily but to do it re8uires a lot of !ra#ti#e. Mu#h selfhel! literature is fo#used on the "oal and i"nores the !ro#ess. (t is assumed that the desire to be finished doin" somethin" will moti&ate ! eo!le to do it well. The result is that they want to do it 8ui#kly and fail to do it well be#ause their eyes are on the out#ome rather than the !ro#ess of a#hie&in" it. They !ay little attention to what they are doin" and take little !leasure in the =ourney. 9r said another way fo#usin" on the "oal kee!s us from li&in" in the !resent$ be#ause the "oal hasn%t o##urred yet. More enlike musin"s that fo#usin" your attention on the !resent redu#es stress and enables the mind to fo#us on what is essential and i"nore the distra#tions. (t%s 5bein" where we are.5 ,e su""ests that failin" to fo#us on what%s before us #auses us to make more mistakes$ and to feel "reater an'iety about them$ be#ause the mistake is a barrier to the "oal. (f it is a mistake to fo#us on the "oal so mu#h you lose site of the moment$ it is also a mistake to fo#us so mu#h on the moment that you lose si"ht of the "oal. The "oal is ne#essary to tar"et your a#tions to an out#ome but that is all. (t%s like the !in in a ma! that
marks the destination$ whi#h "i&es you a sense of whi#h dire#tion to mo&e in the moment$ but it doesn%t tell you the route$ or how to take ea#h ste!. (roni#ally$ he mentions the &ery a#t of writin" this book. ,e feels that if his "oal was to "et to the end of ea#h #ha!ter$ he would not do a &ery "ood =ob of e'!lorin" the to!i# of the !resent one. )a#k to the to!i# of mistakes: they should not be stressful be#ause they "uide you to the "oal. ,e uses the e'am!le of tossin" balls into a #u!. The first ball doesn%t make it into the #u!$ but tells you how to ad=ust your throw on the ne't one. (t may take a number of tries before you "et it 8uite ri"ht$ and what you learn from ea#h failure "uides you #loser to su##ess in the ne't try. Be!etition is !art of !ra#ti#e$ and trialanderror is ne#essary to su##ess. )ut more im!ortantly$ if you are an'ious to a#hie&e the "oal$ you are often failin" to !ay attention to what you are doin". 7a#h miss is a failure than brin"s frustration$ not an attem!t that im!arts learnin". 5Dud"ment redire#ts and wastes our ener"y5 when we are !redi#tin" the out#ome of an attem!t. 7&en if we are ho!eful of a !ositi&e out#ome$ it takes our minds out of the !resent moment$ #auses us to rush$ and "enerally draws our attention from where it needs to be. (t is human nature to be im!atient with life. We take a#tion in ho!es of a#hie&in" an out#ome and$ e'#e!t for leisure a#ti&ities$ we fo#us on the out#ome and fail to e'!erien#e the !ro#ess. (t takes "reat effort to stay 5in the moment5 and there%s a "reat deal of reli"ious tea#hin" that attem!ts to remind men of the im!ortan#e of doin" so. Western #ulture$ reli"ion$ and !hiloso!hy la#ks this !ers!e#ti&e$ an d we are tau"ht in e&ery as!e#t of life to show "reat interest for the out#ome. The !ro#ess is an ineffi#ient in#on&enien#e and we are #oa#hed to i"nore it almost #om!letely and kee! our eyes on the "oal. • • •
(t%s not about !layin" a "ame$ but about who wins (t%s not about learnin"$ but about the "rades you earn (t%s not about doin" "ood work$ but "ettin" a raise
The irony of this !ers!e#ti&e is that we are so fo#used on the out#ome that we ne"le#t to do the thin"s that are ne#essary to a#hie&e it. And worse$ we seek to take short#uts$ e&en at the e'!ense of ethi#s$ to "et what we want faster. (t is the reason !eo!le #heat$ lie$ and steal. )ut neither does he !ro!ose the e'a#t o!!osite$ whi#h is what so#iety seems to do. The edu#ational system re#o"nies that "rades aren%t meanin"ful$ seeks to en#oura"e and reward !arti#i!ation$ and student are e&en worse off than before.
Another !ersonal a##ount follows about the author%s stru""le as a student$ his desire to do better and frustration at his inability.
3 - It's How You Look at It The author s!eaks in a roundabout way about an obsession with !erfe#tion the desire not merely to do somethin" well$ but to a#hie&e the !inna#le of e'#ellen#e. (t%s not enou"h to run a marathon$ but to win the most !o!ular ra#e and break e&ery re#ord in doin" so. The !roblem is that the &ast ma=ority of !eo!le will ne&er do so and for the &ery few that do$ what thenE ,e s!eaks a bit about the way in whi#h the media #reates unrealisti# e'!e#tations. The models and a#tors are !erfe#tlookin" !eo!le that lead a&era"elookin" !eo!le to be miserable with their own a!!earan#e. The lifestyles de!i#ted are far more la&ish than most !eo!le will e&er be able to ha&e$ and the e&ents more e'#itin" than most will e&er e'!erien#e. /ommer#ials de!i#t the e'!erien#e of ownin" a !rodu#t as total satisfa#tion of desire that the real e'!erien#e will not deli&er$ and su""est we should be unha!!y until we ha&e obtained it. (n sum$ all of these influen#es ser&e to distort our !ers!e#ti&e of our !resent sel&es$ makin" us dis#ontented and misleadin" us as to the !ursuits that will lead us to ha!!iness. ,e ba#k!edals a bit$ su""estin" that it is healthy to ha&e sour#es of ins!iration$ and those who a##om!lish "reat thin"s #an ser&e as role models. )ut when we e'!e#t that we ha&e the ability to a#hie&e their results and use su#h indi&iduals as ben#hmarks$ we will end u! disa!!ointed and de=e#ted. Also$ if you del&e into the history of anyone who has had "reat su##ess you will find that it didn%t #ome easily to them. The star athlete in&ests years of trainin"$ hours e&ery day$ with #oa#hes and trainers. (t%s im!ortant to be mindful that we #annot e'!e#t that we #an ste! onto a "olf #ourse after takin" a #ou!le of lessons and du!li#ate their !erforman#e. We want the "oal$ but want to ski! the !ro#ess of a#hie&in" it. ,e s!eaks of nature: at what !oint in the life of a flower has its bloom a#hie&ed !erfe#tionE (n one sense$ it is ne&er !erfe#t$ as #lose ins!e#tion will show flaws e&en when it may seem to be ideal. (n another sense$ it is always !erfe#t it is !erfe#t at bein" e'a# tly what it is. ?7N: This #arries on a while and "ets 8uite silly$ but the !oint is welltaken that thin"s are su#h as they are$ and it is only mankind who is disa!!ointed with himself for failin" to be what he ima"ines he ou"ht to be$ and that this is entirely unnatural.@ There%s another di&ersion about failin" to be inthemoment be#ause we distra#t oursel&es from the moment with thou"hts of other thin"s. We #om!letely miss the !resent moment for thou"hts of future moments that are often less im!ortant. There are instan#es$ and rather few$ when we are totally immersed in somethin" and the rest of the world fades away but these tend to be few and far between.
(t%s im!ossible to see oneself when we are in this state$ bu t it%s likely we ha&e seen this in others: !eo!le who !lay &ideo "ames be#ome &ery oned into what they are doin"$ #om!letely obli&ious to the outside world or an y future e&ent. *eo!le #an "et the same way while wat#hin" a mo&ie or readin" a book$ or absorbed in other re#reational a#ti&ities. 4or many$ !art of the !leasure is bein" dee!ly en"a"ed. (nterestin"ly$ we tend to "i&e full fo#us to thin"s that are not !arti#ularly !rodu#ti&e or im!ortant and this is be#ause we #hoose to do so. When attendin" to a ne#essary task$ we are ea"er to #om!lete the task and not &ery fo#used on the !ro#ess. When we en"a"e in !leasant a#ti&ity$ we !lan for it and seek to immerse oursel&es fully. ,e refers to the Cen #on#e!t of the 5be"inner%s mind5 in whi#h a !erson who is doin" somethin" for the first time must fo#us their full #on#entration on "ettin" it ri"ht and as they be#ome more ade!t at an a#ti&ity it is not ne#essary to "i&e it full attention and they be#ome la#kadaisi#al and inattenti&e. (n essen#e$ they are on 5auto!ilot5 and this is where mistakes and a##idents o##ur. ?7N: The notion of 5hi"hway hy!nosis5 #omes to mind as a "ood e'am!le.@ Aside of the dan"er of failin" to fo#us on tasks su#h as dri&in" or o!eratin" hea&y e8ui!ment$ there is also a la#k of satisfa#tion that #omes from failin" to ne en"a"ed e&e n in a !leasant a#ti&ity. (ma"ination is not as en"a"in" as the stimulation of our senses$ and that stimulation only o##urs in the !resent moment. ,e also notes that in the work!la#e$ we seek to a&oid failure rather than a#hie&e su##ess. We do not seek satisfa#tion from doin" "ood work$ but instead seek to a&oid the !unishment for failure to #om!lete work on time and to meet the e'!e#tations others ha&e of us. The fear of bein" re!rimanded or fired$ fear of the ne"ati&e effe#ts to the family that de!ends on our in#ome$ et#. #ree! into our minds and rob us of any satisfa#tion. This also brin"s to mind the way in whi#h work de"rades 8uality of life e&en when a !erson is not on the =ob. The stress they e'!erien#e in the offi#e bleeds into their home life$ su#h that they #annot be in the moment when s!endin" time with family$ but are always thinkin" of thin"s at the offi#e. ,e mentions the !rofession of a#tin". Method a #tors are 5in #hara#ter5 and deli&er #om!ellin" !erforman#es by immersin" themsel&es in their role. They are not distra#ted by themsel&es$ but in the role of the fi#tional #hara#ter and the moment in the drama that they are !ortrayin". Most !eo!le ha&e diffi#ulty doin" that in their real li&es. The author%s ad&i#e is sim!ly to endea&or to be !ro#essoriented$ e&en in work that is mundane or un!leasant. Fee! your mind on the !resent and retrain your fo#us when you find yourself thinkin" about other thin"s or other times. )e attenti&e to what you are doin" at ea#h moment. 5This !rodu#es inner !ea#e and you a##om!lish more with less effort.5 ,e admits this is not the easiest thin" to do$ but it%s worthwhile and it also takes !ra#ti#e to #om!el your mind to fo#us. (t will be#ome easier o&er time.
- !reating the Ha"its #e $esire )ein" !resentminded is a#hie&ed in mu#h the same way as any other habitual !ra#ti#e: it re8uires effort to a!!ly and !ra#ti#e. (t is all the more diffi#ult for those who ha&e fallen into the habit of bein" absentminded$ !arti#ularly if they are unaware of it. is#onne#tin" our thou"hts from our a#tions does not make us effi#ient but 5takes away all our real !ower.5 Trainin" oneself is mu#h like trainin" another !erson. -ou must first obser&e them to re#o"nie what they are doin" wron". Then$ su""est a more !rodu#ti&e #ourse of a#tion. Then$ remain attenti&e to ensure that the su""estion is followed and !ro&ide #ontinued "uidan#e and su!!ort until the su""estion be#omes the normal way the student d oes thin"s. 9f im!ortan#e$ an instru#tor must be !atient. ,e do es not "et emotional when his student doesn%t understand or mo&es off the ri"ht !ath$ but "ently "uides him ba#k to where he ou"ht to be. ,e a##e!ts lessthan!erfe#t !erforman#e be#ause it is !ro"ress. ,e "oes ba#k to the e'am!le of tossin" balls into a #an ea#h throw "ets you #loser to su##ess. ,ow we think is a !attern of beha&ior$ and as su#h the dis#onne#tion of thou"ht and a#tion is somethin" we ha&e fallen into or learned. That is to say$ it%s a habit. ,abits are beha&iors that ha&e be#ome routine be#ause they were at some !oint !ra#ti#ed$ be#ame familiar$ and then be#ause the default #hoi#e we make. With some efforts$ these defaults #an be reset. The formation of habits has been &ery #losely studied by beha&ioral s#ientists and s!orts !sy#holo"ists. S!orts$ in !arti#ular$ demonstrates the way in whi#h habits are #han"ed the way a !erson instin#ti&ely tries to throw a ball is modified and rewired throu"h instru#tion and !ra#ti#e. (n bo'in" and the martial arts$ it%s seen that a motion and a res!onse is learned in a manner than makes it !re#ise and li"htnin"fast.
tri""er. The tri""er may not be his remark$ but the 5!o!5 of emotion you feel. (nstead of lettin" that result in a ne"ati&e res!onse$ asso#iate it to a beha&ior ?su#h as remainin" silent for a few se#onds while you #onsider a !ro!er re!ly@. ?7N: No mention here as to how one mi"ht !ra#ti#e this seems to be somethin" that is done in realtime$ or somethin" one fails to do. *erha!s it%s a not a &ery "ood e'am!le be#ause it re8uires another !erson to in&oke the tri""erE (f your "oal is to be !resent minded$ that%s entirely internal.@ ,e shifts to another habit su#h as wat#hin" too mu#h tele&ision in whi#h you #ould fo#us on asso#iatin" the a#t of !i#kin" u! the remote #ontrol and learn to asso#iate it with a different #hoi#e than turnin" on the tele&ision ri"ht away. ?7N: *hysi#al habits like this are easier to address by makin" some #han"e to the ob=e#t. *uttin" the remote in a different !la#e$ kee!in" it in a slee&e$ or "luin" a "rain of ri#e to the !ower button will also #ause there to be somethin" a little different that "i&es a !erson !ause and reminds them to sto! and think.@
% - Perce&tion !hange !reates Patience The stressful !a#e of life in the !resent day has led to a "eneral loss of !atien#e whi#h itself is the 58uiet !erse&eran#e5 in the fa#e of stressful situations. We re#o"nie the need to be !atient with others in so#iety$ and we re#o"nie the need to be !atient with the situations that arise in the #ourse of a "i&en day$ but find it &ery diffi#ult to a#hie&e. Swit#h to the ne"ati&e 8uality of im!atien#e it is a ne"ati&e emotion that arises when we are unable to "et what we want. (t should be immediately ob&ious that an im!atient !erson is not #o!in" &ery well with the hereandnow be#ause their mind is on some future moment when they will a#hie&e what they !resently desire. And$ as usual$ they are i"norin" the reality of the !resent moment and what they must do ?if only to endure the delay@ to "et to where they e&entually want to be. The author obser&es the manner in whi#h his own mind wanders$ from one thin" to another with no #onne#tion between them$ and seems to be e&erywhere but where he really is. ?7N: (%&e heard different !eo!le des#ribe their minds as bein" noisy or 8uiet in idle moments. )rowsin" forward$ it seems that the author$ like many noisyminded !eo!le$ seems to think that e&eryone else is the same way$ and ( don%t see an y ad&i#e for the 8uietminded indi&idual.@ With this in mind$ the first ste! is to be#ome aware of your internal dialo"ue$ and the moments in whi#h it tends to run wild and dra" you behind. Sim!ly stated$ you must re#o"nie this and rein it in. A se#ond ste! is to understand you will not always be able to do this but to remain !ersistent in attem!tin" to d o so. Another key !ra#ti#e for !atien#e is understandin" that you will ne&er a#hie&e true !erfe#tion in anythin"$ and a##e!t that !erfe#tion is entirely unne#essary. *erfe#tion is the !ers!e#ti&e of others. -ou #an wat#h a shi! sail to the horion from the shore$ but you will ne&er see this when you%re standin" on the de#k the horion is unrea#hable. Stri&in" for !erfe#tion is the same you will ne&er rea#h it and will sa! your morale by e'!e#tin" that you will. The best you #an do is to attend to the business of sailin" followin" the wind$ tendin" the wheel$ and kee!in" the boat mo&in" forward. ,e also mentions the human tenden#y to daydream of the 5!erfe#t life5 !eo!le always want more money no matter how wealthy they "et. And when !eo!le "et the thin"s they wanted$ they are seldom #ontented with them for &ery lon". Life is endless and you ne&er will a#hie&e the !oint where it has a#hie&ed !erfe#tion. This is why those who seek ha!!iness in the result are ne&er as #ontented as those who seek ha!!iness in the !ro#ess. They are fore&er frustrated$ im!atient$ and e'h austed. ,a!!iness belon"s to those who take satisfa#tion at "ettin" better at somethin" rather than insistin" on be#omin" 5the best e&er5 at anythin". (t enables them to be ha!!y while they are workin" toward it.
The author shares a story about takin" lessons from a &ery talented !ianist who felt he needed to work harder or he would 5ne&er "et really "ood on the !iano.5 While his tea#her was 8uite a##om!lished #om!ared to the no&i#e$ he still had the mindset of a student who #ould always be better at his #raft. (n addition to #oa#hin" him to be better$ the tea#her "a&e him the ability to witness his own !ro"ress and take satisfa#tion in the !ro#ess of learnin" to !lay. ,e also mentions in his own musi# study that he lays out lon"term !lans. When he is frustrated with a bad !ra#ti#e session and feels ho!eless$ he is able to re&iew the !lans he made lon" before and re#o"nie how far alon" he had #ome. Thin"s always seem &ery hard until we%&e done them$ and if you think ba#k to the way you felt o&erwhelmed at the start of somethin" you ha&e already finished$ you will be astounded by the !ro"ress you ha&e made. The notion that !erfe#tion is im!ossible should not be dis#oura"in". What it means is that you will ne&er run out of room to "row. 5We ha&e seriously missed the boat with this whole #on#e!t in our #ulture.5 Stirner #onsiders the 5self!layin" or"an$5 a !rodu#t that was desi"ned for !e o!le who wanted to learn to !lay$ but also wanted to make musi# ri"ht away. *ressin" a few keys would !lay !art or all of a !o!ular son" it #ould !lay the lefthand !art so you #ould !lay the ri"ht$ or &i#e &ersa$ or both at on#e so you didn%t ha&e to do anythin". The or"ans sold &ery well$ but !eo!le didn%t use them mu#h. ,e mentions seein" a few "atherin" dust in !eo!les% homes$ but he ne&er saw anyone a#tually !lay one. Said another way$ #heatin" dis#i!line doesn%t work. -ou mi"ht fool a few !eo!le into thinkin" you ha&e a skill$ but you%ll feel all the worse for bein" a sham on to! of bein" a failure. And your own sense of a##om!lishment at fakin" the results is sa!!ed by the knowled"e that you did not a#tually a#hie&e them. ,e also mentions #redit #ards as a form of instant "ratifi#ation whi#h is to say they offer shortterm "ratifi#ation and lon"term disa!!ointment. They are the way to ha&e the end results without makin" the effort$ so that you ha&e a #han#e to be disa!!ointed by somethin" before you ha&e earned it. Many !eo!le "et into dee! trouble with debt in this way$ and take little satisfa#tion from it. Dust as with the self!layin" or"an$ it is a way to #heat yourself from the ne#essity of earnin" it. To the author$ the =oy and !ride in a##om!lishment is that the 5thin"5 you now !ossess is the result of a lon"er !ro#ess of earnin" it. Bewards that #ome at no #ost are worth their !ri#e in terms of the satisfa#tion earned: ne't to nothin". The ad&i#e he offers is to !i#k a "oal that you wish to a#hie&e$ mark the ste!s of the =ourney to "et there$ and re&iew your !lan !eriodi#ally to "ain the satisfa#tion of ha&in" made !ro"ress toward that "oal. 9f !arti#ular im!ortan#e is to fo#us on the !ro#ess and not the "oal.
)y so doin" you will free yourself of the frustration of your #onstant failure to a#hie&e the end$ and feel em!owered at your #onstant su##ess in "ettin" in#rementally #loser to it. This is &ery em!owerin".
( - The )our *+* #ords The author introdu#es four 5S5 worlds that are useful in de&elo!in" #ontrol o&er one%s own mind$ whi#h re!resent te#hni8ues that work in #ombination: •
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Sim!le The mind be#omes !aralyed by #om!le'ity$ and while many issues are #om!le' they #an be sim!lified$ broken down #om!onents that are far more mana"eable than the whole. Bedu#in" #om!le' matters to sim!le ste!s hel!s to make them mana"eable and a&oid mental fati"ue. Small A &ery sim!le task may still be &ery lar"e$ and o&erwhelmin" by &irtue of its sie. Lar"e thin"s #an similarly be broken down into small ones to better fo#us the mind and a&oid !ro#rastination. 4or e'am!le$ #leanin" the "ara"e is su#h a hu"e task that most !eo!le a&oid it$ but sortin" throu"h the items on one shelf is mana"eable so do that$ then look for somethin" else that #an be done easily. Short A sim!le and small task may still take a lon" time to finish$ so fo#us instead on short bursts of a#ti&ity$ ten minutes to an hour$ that !resents a more mana"eable #hunk of time. /onsider the "ara"e#leanin" e'am!le: it mi"ht take three days$ or it #an be done an hour a day o&er the #ourse of a month. Slow Work at a !a#e that allows you to !ay attention to what you are doin". Bushed work is bad work$ and needs to be re!eated ?or the !oor results be#ome dis#oura"in"@$ but workin" at a steady !a"e enables you to do thin"s on#e and do them ri"ht. The !arado' here is that by tryin" to work slowly$ you will often #om!lete tasks more 8ui#kly and with less effort be#ause your a#tions are fo#used.
4rom there$ he s!eaks of !uttin" these to work in his =ob as a !iano tuner$ whi#h is a bit !rotra#ted and fussy$ but some of the details are worth !reser&in": •
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,is !rimary fo#us was on workin" slowly takin" out one tool at a time$ !la#in" it "ently into !osition$ makin" ea#h of his motions slow and deliberate$ then re!la#in" it in his kit #arefully. oin" so #aused him "reat an'iety and the sense he was wastin" time rather than mo&in" 8ui#kly enou"h$ but he #hoked that ba#k and #ontinued to mo&e slowly. (t took a lot of #on#entration =ust to hold himself ba#k. (n time$ the an'iety died down and he be"an to en=oy the !a#e. ,e a!!lied the same effort to bein" slow in unne#essary motions$ su#h as walkin" and eatin". ,e had taken off his wat#h to a&oid #he#kin" the time$ and did not dis#o&er until he "lan#ed at the #lo#k in his tru#k and the end of the hob that he had a#tually sha&ed 0G of the usual time. ,e felt he must ha&e been an hour late$ but had a#tually worked faster. ,e attributes the seemin" s!eed to the elimination of waste one tool at a time meant less time sortin" throu"h a #lutter$ one strin" at a time meant he " ot it ri"ht the first time$ et#.
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4o#usin" on slow also fed the other three: the task be#ame sim!le$ small$ and short as he #on#entrated on tunin" ea#h strin". ,e also notes that he a##om!lished mu#h that day$ and did not feel at all stressed or o&erworked at the end of it.
,e%s a!!lied this te#hni8ue to other !arts of his life sim!ly not rushin" throu"h thin"s. (t is diffi#ult to do so be#ause our #ulture demands 5faster5 and we be#ome automated in many a#ti&ities and fail to !ay attention. At the onset$ it re8uires a "reat deal of effort =ust for#in" yourself to remain slow and steady$ but o&er time it be#omes se#ond nature to be 5in the moment.5
- .uani/it0 and $! 578uanimity5 is a term that means mental #almness$ a 8uality that many seek to a#hie&e ?or more a!tly$ a 8uality many wish to ha&e$ without workin" to a#hie&e it@. (t im!lies #almness$ fo#us$ and the ability to !erse&ere in stressful #onditions. Stirner su""ests that e8uanimity #an be a#hie&ed by a&oidin" =ud"ment. *eo!le tend to e&aluate e&erythin" they #annot merely dream or eat but must =ud"e that they ha&e e'!erien#ed a 5bad dream5 or a 5"ood breakfast.5 The same is done for the !resent ?( am ha&in" a "ood lun#h@ and the future ?( ho!e to ha&e a "ood su!!er@. Assessment re8uires a fairly #om!le' mental !ro#ess$ whi#h is often 8uite !ointless and a drain of our ener"y. To =ud"e somethin" as "ood or bad re8uires de&elo!in" a !re#on#ei&ed notion of the way it ou"ht to be and #om!arin" it to the way it was$ or is$ or is e'!e#ted to be. 7&en when the out#ome is a "ood =ud"ment$ we has still in&ested mental resour#es in makin" that e&aluation. There is also the !roblem of the !ro"ression of ideals. 9n#e we ha&e had a "ood meal$ the ne't one must mat#h or e'#eed it to be #onsidered to ha&e been "ood. 7a#h new e'!erien#e must to! all of the old$ and what was on#e satisfa#tory then be#omes disa!!ointin". Dud"ments are im!ortant in life be#ause they for the basis of "oals: nobody sets out to ha&e a miserable time or do !oor work$ whi#h #an o##ur if you are o&erly idealisti# in what you intend to a#hie&e. ,owe&er$ when this is taken to e'tremes it be#omes harmful: e&erythin" doesn%t ha&e to be !erfe#t all the time$ and it #annot be. Stirner seems to take a bit of a turn$ dis#ussin" !ra#ti#in" emer"en#y landin" !ro#edures for air#raft: the notion is that !ra#ti#e enables a !ilot to de&elo! a !ro#edure to follow$ to o&er#ome his !ani# and do as he is trained. And it works. The !oint is that when followin" emer"en#y !ro#edures$ you are not makin" =ud"ments$ but sim!ly doin" what needs to be done. -ou don%t se#ond"uess yourself in a situation where it would be disastrous to do so. )a#k to e&aluation: ea#h =ud"ment is based on the sense that there is somethin" that is ri"htH"ood and somethin" that is wron"Hbad an d this o##urs in a &ery binary manner. There are many thin"s that are not !erfe#tly ri"htH"ood but will a#hie&e the results we need in undertakin" a task. ?7N: ( immediately noti#e this as bein" at odds with the #ultural im!erati&e to stri&e for !erfe#tion e&ery time$ with the notion that !eo!le who aim low a##om!lish less than they #ould ha&e if they had ke!t their si"hts hi"her. So its likely that some balan#e is ne#essary: our "oal #annot be medio#rity or !erfe#tion.@
There%s some mention that our ideas #han"e o&er time. What would be ideal at a"e fi&e is different to a"e ten$ to twenty$ to thirty$ and so on. The notion that we will do somethin" !erfe#tly and ne&er ha&e to do it o&er a"ain is nonsensi#al. There is nothin" we #an do that will make us ha!!y fore&er$ =ust for a time. The author%s su""estion for o&er#omin" =ud"ment is to attem!t to be#ome an obser&er to witness what is ha!!enin" and delay makin" =ud"ment$ as if attem!tin" to listen ob=e#ti&ely to one !erson%s a##ount$ knowin" that you will later hear the a##ounts of others and will need to be fair in your assessment. This works be#ause e&en when you are thinkin" on somethin"$ you are only hearin" one !erson%s a##ount your own internal monolo"ue. And moreo&er you may be listenin" to someone who is u!set$ in a bad mood$ or thinkin" of thin"s in a sub=e#ti&e and distorted manner. When you think about them later$ you often realie how wron" you were in the heat of the moment. Dud"in" thin"s as you e'!erien#e them adds a layer of mental !ro#essin" to the task of obser&ation$ and re8uires more mental work later to untan"le your own !er#e!tions. (t also a!!lies your mental filters and #auses you to miss im!ortant details. -ou were so busy =ud"in" what you saw in one se#ond that you failed to noti#e what ha!!ened in the ne't. (t is im!ortant to remain #alm when listenin" to your inner &oi#e$ =ust as you would when allowin" someone who is u!set rant and ra&e knowin" that if you listen 8uietly and unaffe#ted they will e&entually #ome to their senses. -ou are not merely a !assi&e listener to your inner &oi#e$ but you are also the s!eaker. (n that sense most !eo!le ha&e some e'!erien#e #almin" themsel&es in a stressful situation.
Do, Observe, Correct ,ere$ the author #omes to his a#ronym of 9/ do$ obser&e$ and #orre#t. This is the basi# method of !ra#ti#e for any a#ti&ity$ su#h as learnin" a s!ort$ but also a!!lies to mental !ro#esses. Swit#h to a story about a #oa#h for the 9lym!i# ar#hery team. ,is bi""est !roblem was that the ar#hers were fi'ated on their s#ores or the out#ome of their shots$ and were not !ayin" attention to what they were doin". ,e mentions that the Asian teams were e'a#tly the
o!!osite$ fo#used on their !osture and motions to the !oint that they seemed not to #are whether they hit the tar"et and they were mu#h better as a result. Ar#hery is &ery #lose to the 5throwin" balls into a #an5 task Stirner mentioned before: you take a shot and ad=ust the ne't one to be #loser to the tar"et. (f you do not !ay attention to what you are doin" while takin" the shot$ you will not know how the out#ome was a#hie&ed or the s!e#ifi# ad=ustments you need to make. A!!lyin" the 9/ model to mental !ro#esses re8uires you to be aware of your !atterns of thou"ht$ #onsiderin" whether they are effe#ti&e$ and ad=ustin" them to be more effe#ti&e. (t does not mean interferin" with your !atterns ri"ht away$ and it is not an instant #orre#tion. Dust as with ar#hery$ your "oal is to "et your thinkin" #loser to the tar"et than the !re&ious time. And =ust as with !ra#ti#in"$ it%s hardest at the onset and be#omes better o&er time$ until the habit be#omes in"rained. ,ere$ Stirner tells a !ersonal story of blo#kin" se&eral weeks for a ma=or !ro=e#t that was #an#elled at the last minute and as a selfem!loyed s!e#ialists$ this was a si"nifi#ant disa!!ointment$ and usin" the doobser&e#orre#t method he was able to "et himself into a more !ositi&e and !roa#ti&e state of mind rather than merely frettin" about the !roblem. ?7N: The details of the e'am!le seem a bit odd$ and #ould muddle more than #larify the #on#e!t.@ The end bit #om!ares the !ro#ess of trainin" your mind to that of trainin" for a marathon: you don%t "o out the first day and try to run a threehour ra#e. (nstead you work in shorter !ra#ti#e sessions at slower !a#es and "radually build u! ... and as in all thin"s$ a!!re#iate your !ro"ress alon" the way.
- Teach and Learn ro/ !hi4dren The author be"ins by su""estin" that a !arent tea#hes a #hild the lessons of their life$ but learns from their #hildren in the !ro#ess. /hildren tend to see thin"s &ery sim!ly$ and with a #learer eye than do many adults. Moreo&er$ #hildren and adults want the same thin"s: a sense of se#urity and interestin" ways to fill their time. These are more #om!le' for adults$ for whom 5se#urity5 means many thin"s and they think of time in a boarder sense. )ut in the s!a#e of a moment$ the desires of #hildren and adults are the same. ?7N: This "oes on a while and "ets a bit wistful about the standard to!i#s: how time seems to "o faster$ how #hildren are unaware of the world%s !roblems$ et#. Not mu#h &alue in these ha#kneyed obser&ations.@
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/hildren are &ery mu#h 5in the moment5 and tend not to think of the future /hildren don%t want to do anythin" that isn%t fun ri"ht away /hildren don%t see the !oint of !ra#ti#in" an d want instant "ratifi#ation. ,woe&er if the !ra#ti#e itself is fun they will be#ome dee!ly en"rossed in it. /hildren ha&e to be tau"ht the im!ortan#e of 5!layin" well5 rather than winnin" /hildren ha&e few !re=udi#es and !re#on#e!tions /hildren don%t think anythin" is im!ossible without tryin"$ and they 8u ite often do thin"s that noone would e'!e#t they were #a!able of /hildren let their emotions "et the best of them$ bu t #an be #almed if made to slow down and think
Some of these #hildlike beha&iors are &aluable to adults$ others re!resent #hildish beha&iors we would do well to out"row. ?7N: There follows some random ad&i#e for !arentin"$ lar"ely stemmin" from the way in whi#h #hildren are bein" treated like little adults$ what with their days bein" =ammed by s#hoolin" and s#heduled leisure a#ti&ities. This too be#o mes wistful and ha#kneyed.@
5 - Your +ki44s 6re 7rowing The final #ha!ter fo#uses with #han"es o&er the #ourse of a lifetime. Some skills will "row while others will atro!hy. The 8uestion is whether this is in a #ontrolled and deliberate manner are you "ainin" thin"s that are &aluable and losin" thin"s that are not$ rather than the other way aroundE ?7N: There follows a re#a! of some of the ma=or !oints of the book$ whi#h (%ll ski! here as the notes would be redundant.@ ,e swit#hes to the notion of e&olution$ whi#h is somethin" that !eo!le do within their own lifetimes. 9ur life is not a #hain of dramati# in#idents but a lon"$ slow series of #han"es. And like e&olution$ the !ro#ess of e&ol&in" oursel&es is measured a"ainst the tou#hstone of sur&i&al. (f a #han"e makes us more su##essful in our endea&ors$ then it%s a "ood #han"e and a lesson to be !reser&ed. ,e also hits on the notion of !ersonal #risis and the way in whi#h !eo!le #han"e dramati#ally when ma=or e&ents ?"ood or bad@ o##ur in their li&es$ and these #han"es #an be "ood or bad. )e#omin" more !resentminded enables us to weather #rises better$ and to make more of a #ons#ious #hoi#e in the way in whi#h our beha&ior #han"es in the wake of a #risis. ,e also "ets a bit s!iritual$ but is essentially ri"ht in the no tion that the material thin"s we "ain in life ?houses$ #ars$ money$ thin"s$ et#.@ tend to be tem!orary. 4ew !eo!le maintain the !ossessions they had as #hildren and those who do find them to be a useless burden. )ut more to the !oint$ &irtually the only thin" you ha&e in life that you kee! from birth to death is yourself. The rest of it #han"es and is lost o&er time. And there is the &alue of self im!ro&ement: you kee! it mu#h lon"er than material thin"s. -et !eo!le in&est so mu#h time in earnin" tem!orary baubles than in im!ro&in" themsel&es. 57&erythin" that you s!iritually a#8uire e'!ands your true self and be#o mes !art of you fore&er.5 ,e also asserts that de&elo!in" a !ra#ti#in" mind is worth makin" a !riority be#ause doin" so "i&es you the e8ui!ment to a##om!lish other "oals.
The Practicing Mind : Summary
The author of this book$ Thomas M. Sterner$ is a *iano te#hni#ian for a ma=or !erformin" arts #enter. The author admits that $ in his #areer s!annin" 2 years$ he had fa#ed a lot of #hallen"es to kee! himself dis#i!lined and fo#used ?#onsiderin" the a#t of tunin" and maintainin" a !iano $ an instrument that has notes $ is re!etitious and tedious by nature@. 9&er a !eriod of time$ the author de&elo!s a mindset that has ke!t him !rodu#ti&e.Throu"h this book$ Sterner tells his method of remainin" dis#i!lined. Process not the Product
(n any form of !ra#ti#e$ it is im!ortant to fo#us on the !ro#ess and not on the !rodu#t. There are um!teen &ariations of this statement that one "ets to hear.The author does a#knowled"e this fa#t but "oes on to add his own fla&or to this statement. ,e uses musi# as an e'am!le to show that fo#usin" on the !ro#ess takes #are of the !rodu#t $ but not &i#e&ersa. ,e says Fee! yourself !ro#essoriented. Stay in the !resent. Make the !ro#ess the "oal and use the o&erall "oal as a rudder to steer you efforts. )e deliberate$ ha&e an intention about what you want to a##om!lish$ and be aware of that intention. oin" these thin"s will eliminate the =ud"ments and emotions that #ome from a !rodu#toriented or resultsoriented mind. It8s How You Look 6t It
The author "i&es a beautiful analo"y of a flower to shift oneIs !ers!e#ti&e towards e&erythin" in life. ,e says
Ask yourself: at what !oint in a flower%s life$ from seed to full bloom$ has it rea#hed !erfe#tionE Let%s look at this ri"ht now and see what nature is tea#hin" us e&ery day as we walk !ast the flowers in our "arden. At what !oint is a flower !erfe#tE (s it when it is nothin" more than a seed in your hand waitin" to be !lantedE All that it will e&er be is there in that moment. (s it when it first starts to "erminate unseen under se&eral in#hes of the soilE This is when it dis!lays the first &isible si"ns of the mira#le we #all #reation. ,ow about when it first !okes its head throu"h the surfa#e and sees the fa#e of the sun for the first timeE All of its ener"ies ha&e "one into rea#hin" for this sour#e of lifeJ until this !oint$ it has had nothin" more than an inner &oi#e tellin" it whi#h way to "row to find it. What about when it be"ins to flowerE This is when its own indi&idual !ro!erties start to be seen. The sha!e of the lea&es$ the number of blooms are all uni8ue to =ust this one flower$ e&en amon" the other flowers of the same s!e#ies. 9r is it the sta"e of full bloom$ the #res#endo of all of the ener"y and effort it took to rea#h this !oint in its lifeE LetIs not for"et that humble and 8uiet endin" when it returns to the soil from where it #ame. At what !oint is the flower !erfe#tE ( ho!e you already know that the answer is that it is always !erfe#t. Ksin" this e'am!le$ the author su""ests that by followin" !resentminded a!!roa#h $ one #an e'!erien#e a tremendous relief from the fi#titious$ selfim!osed !ressures and e'!e#tations that only slow oneIs !ro"ress. Perce&tion !hanges !reate Patience
*atien#e is !robably at the to! of e&eryoneIs list of most sou"htafter &irtues. 9ne of the reasons that we be#ome im!atient is we ste! out of the N9W There is a sayin" that states that most of what we worry about ne&er #omes to !ass. Thinkin" about a situation before you are in it only s#atters your ener"y. The irst ste& toward !atien#e is to be#ome aware of when your internal dialo" is runnin" wild and dra""in" you with it. (f you are not aware of this when it is ha!!enin"$ whi#h is !robably most of the time$ you are not in #ontrol. The second &art is understandin" and a##e!tin" that there is no su#h thin" as rea#hin" a !oint of !erfe#tion in anythin". True !erfe#tion is both always e&ol&in" and at the same time always !resent within you$ =ust like the flower. *ro"ress is a natural result of stayin" fo#used on the ! ro#ess of doin" anythin". When you stay on !ur!ose$ fo#used in the !resent moment$ the "oal #omes to you with fri#tionless ease. ,owe&er$ when you #onstantly fo#us on the "oal you are aimin" for$ you !ush it away instead of !ullin" it toward you. (n e&ery moment of your stru""le$ by lookin" at the "oal and #onstantly referen#in" your !osition to it$ you are affirmin" to yourself that you ha&enIt rea#hed it. -ou only need to a#knowled"e the "oal to yourself o##asionally$ usin" it as a rudder to kee! you mo&in" in the ri"ht dire#tion. Su!!ose you are tryin" to learn how to !lay a !ie#e of musi# and you #ome from this new !ers!e#ti&e. -our e'!erien#e will be totally different than what we usually think of in terms of learnin" to !lay a musi#al instrument. (n the old way$ you are sure that you are not "oin" to be ha!!y or su##essful until you #an !lay the !ie#e of musi# flawlessly. 7&ery wron" note you hit$ e&ery moment you s!end stru""lin" with the !ie#e$ is an affirmation that you ha&e not rea#hed your "oal. (f$ howe&er$ your "oal is learnin" to !lay the !ie#e of musi#$ then the feelin" of stru""le dissol&es away. With ea#h moment you s!end !uttin" effort into
learnin" the !ie#e$ you are a#hie&in" your "oal. An in#orre#t note is =ust !art of learnin" how to !lay the #orre#t noteJ it is not a =ud"ment of your !layin" ability. (n ea#h moment you s!end with the instrument$ you are learnin" information and "ainin" ener"y that will work for you in other !ie#es of musi#. -our #om!rehension of musi# and the e'!erien#e of learnin" it are e'!andin". All of this is ha!!enin" with no sense of frustration or im!atien#e. What more #ould you ask for from =ust a shift in !ers!e#ti&eE
)our + words - +i/&4i0, +/a44, +hort and +4ow
The author shows the inter#onne#tedness between these words and the way these words #an be used to stru#ture any work$ be it followin" a fitness re"imen H #odin" an al"o H !layin" an instrument H #leanin" u! the house et#. Any task that is o&erwhelmin" at the first si"ht$ mi"ht !ut us off and sometimes we tend to !ermanently shel&e it. )ut on#e we sim!lify the "oal$ di&ide this sim!lified "oal in small se#tions$ do these se#tions in short durations at a slow !a#e$ !arado'i#ally $ we "et far more thin"s done effi#iently. This mi"ht sound all &ery ob&ious$ but then it is rele&ant to ask oneself a 8uestion$ When was the last time you did all the four thin"s Sim!lified a !ro=e#t$ Took a small se#tion$ worked on it for a short time and more im!ortantly slowly E More than any other !la#e$ ( #an relate this to musi#. -ou #anIt master a raa"a without the #om!onents mentioned. -ou ha&e to si/&4i0 the "oal of a 1. hr ty!i#al rendition of a raa"a$ i&ide in to small se#tions $*ra#ti#e on one of the the s/a44 se#tions in a short inter&al $ lets say min$ and more im!ortantly !ra#ti#e it s4ow40 . My Sitar "uru was mentionin" the other day about )udhaditya Mukher=ee$ a Sitar Maestro. (n an inter&iew$ when asked about his !ra#ti#e re"imen$ he re!lied that he !ra#ti#ed + hrs in the mornin" and + hrs in the e&enin" and more im!ortantly $ he does it 7>7B- S(N
/almness and e&entem!ered are the words that "o alon" with e8uanimity. These are the #hara#teristi#s that are desirable when we are workin" o n somethin". ,owe&er there is an e&il beast #alled Dud"ement that sometimes =um!s u!on us.Dud"ment is ine&itable in our li&es$ but it be#omes !atholo"i#al when we o&erdo it. Most of times we o&erdo it. We =ud"e e&erythin" in life and most of it un#ons#iously. We ima"ine hy!otheti#al s#enarios and think about the !ossible out#omes and !ossible =ud"ments that we would make H others would make in su#h s#enarios. (ts like runnin" simulations to #reate !arallel worlds and #he#kin" the !arameter &alues. (t is "ood in statisti#s as alternate worlds "i&es #onfiden#e inter&als on !arameters. (t is detrimental when we are workin" on somethin" as it robs us from the N9W. (t ha!!ens to all of us. We are doin" somethin"$ be it runnin"H readin" H !ro"rammin"H !layin" an instrument et#. (nstead of =ust bein" in the !resent$ we start =ud"in" it. We are thinkin" of the ne't a#ti&ity that needs to be done H we think of some odd #on&ersation with someoneH we ima"ine hy!otheti#al situations et#. We try to en"a"e oursel&es un#ons#iously in thin"s that ha&e nothin" to do with what we are /KBB7NTL-
doin". The =ud"ement "i&es rise to emotions and they stem from a sense that this is ri"ht and that is wron" or this is "ood and that is bad. Bi"ht and "ood make us ha!!y while bad and wron" make us u!set or sad. We feel that ri"ht and "ood are at least a!!roa#hin" ideal$ while wron" and bad are mo&in" away from it. We all want to be ha!!y and ha&e an ideal life$ but what #onstitutes ri"ht and wron" is neither uni&ersal nor #onstant. The e&aluations and =ud"ments we make un#ons#iously in e&ery se#ond of our li&es =um!start our emotions and brin" us so mu#h an'iety and stress.What #an be done about it E oin" work with out =ud"ement !art is far more effe#ti&e as the e'e#ution of the task would be that mu#h more #lini#al. The author su""ests meditation as a means to "et out of this e&er=ud"mental mode of mind. ,e also offers another ad=un#t method$whi#h he #alls 9/ o O 9bser&e O /orre#t. ,e "i&es ane#dotes and e'!erien#es from his work as a *iano te#hni#ian that brin" out the im!ortan#e of 9/ to !erform tasks effi#iently. Ksin" 9/ re!etiti&ely for most of the tasks that we do in our daily li&es$ it is !ossible to remo&e =ud"ement that #louds our thinkin" and e'e#ution. The / in the 9/ refers more to e&aluation and not =ud"ment. 7&aluation #omes before the a#tion of !assin" =ud"ement. After e&aluation$ you ski! the =ud"ement !art and then "o o&er 9/ #y#le$ as =ud"ment has no &alue in 9/ mindset. Teach and Learn ro/ !hi4dren
Time !er#e!tion is an inte"ral !art of the differen#e between adults and #hildren. (n "eneral$ /hildren donIt seem to ha&e a sense of where they are "oin" in life. There is today and thatIs it. They li&e in the !resent moment$ but not really by their own #hoi#eJ itIs =ust how they are. So$ makin" them do any a#ti&ity like learnin" to !lay an instrument H work on somethin" whi#h takes time and effort to master$ is diffi#ult as they donIt see a !oint in doin" it. There is no instant "ratifi#ation in learnin" math H learnin" an instrument. (t is usually an a#ti&ity whi#h will in&ol&e a lot of stru""leHfailures et#. So$there is a !arado' here. WhatIs frustratin" as an adult$ with re"ard to tea#hin" them to stay in the !resent when they are en"a"ed in somethin" that re8uires !erse&eran#e$ is that they #an It see the !oint. Why work at somethin" that re8uires a lon"term #ommitment$ a !er#e!tion of time outside the !resent momentE /hildren are always in the N9W and adults find it diffi#ult to be in the N9W. (s there somethin" that *arents and /hildren #an learn and tea#h ea#h other E The author shares his e'!erien#es in dealin" with her two dau"hters in this #onte't.
