Breaking

© 2005, Mark J. Ryan, All Rights Reserved www.SeductionCode.com Contact Mark at [email protected]

Frankly speaking this is our humble effort to all mankind (man kind only!!) who wants to improve their game of seduction. First of all let me make it very clear this e-book is different from all the other e-books/booklets/and other written material in the approach, in the techniques and finally in the endeavor. No way is this e-book written to play any foul play the with women’s community. (Well, maybe a little. We know we’re going to be blamed for something we say, though there’s no telling exactly what line will set off what women, so we might as well own up to it right now.) Let us say for the record: we love women. We do. We have come to the conclusion our lives are better with them than without them and if you’ve come to that same determination we’re going to tell you how to get more of what you enjoy into your life. Namely women. Basically this is all about to improve your personality as whole and take it from us after reading this e-book you are bound to get yourself on the top of the world, as this is all about changing your attitude, using your energy into the right direction, eliminating the unnecessary fear and feel more confident with women. They say, “It is your attitude, not your aptitude, which determines altitude in your life”. We shouldn’t have to say this, but it’s true: Remember, after reading this ebook, you and only you are responsible for your actions and your behaviors, and any circumstances resulted out of the material. You are advised to follow the material wisely. However, if you have any personal query or doubt please feel Breaking the Seduction Code © © 2005, Mark J. Ryan, All Rights Reserved www.SeductionCode.com Contact Mark at [email protected]

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free to contact us personally, we would feel honored and happy to answer them as best as we can do by putting Mark’s more than 20 years of experience in training, hypnosis, and NLP to use. To be crystal clear: the authors, contributors, distributors, and publishers of this e-book disclaim any responsibility for how you chose to use this material. Do you get that? It’s on you. Don’t go out do something tasteless, classless, and illegal, and then claim the book made you do it. At the very least, you’ll get slapped, at most you’ll find yourself in for a nice stay at Sunnyside Farm for the Emotionally Challenged Citizen or you’ll share a cellblock with a heavily tattooed guy named Sweetie. It’s always your responsibility to make sure that the actions you take with women are legal and consensual.

Breaking the Seduction Code ©

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Table of Contents DISCLAIMER........................................................................................................2 A NOTE FROM THE AUTHOR ............................................................................8 WELCOME!........................................................................................................13 THE VERY FIRST STEP...........................................................................................13 THE EARLY LESSONS ..................................................................................................15

CREATING AN OPEN SPACE...........................................................................23 OLD THINKING #1: YOU HAVE TO BE GOOD LOOKING TO DATE W OMEN .........................23 OLD THINKING #2: YOU NEED LOTS OF MONEY IN ORDER TO SEDUCE WOMEN .................24 OLD THINKING #3: GOOD LOOKING W OMEN W ILL WANT NOTHING TO DO W ITH YOU ......24 OLD THINKING #4: IF YOU ARE NICE, SENSITIVE, AND SHOW YOUR EMOTIONS, W OMEN WILL W ANT YOU. ........................................................................................................25 OLD THINKING #5: SOLVE HER PROBLEMS AND SHE’LL SLEEP WITH YOU ......................26 OLD THINKING #6: THERE ARE A LIMITED NUMBER OF WOMEN AVAILABLE AND MOST OF THEM ARE BUSY. .........................................................................................................26

OLD THINKING #7: GETTING A HOT WOMAN TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU IS TOO TIME CONSUMING. ...............................................................................................................27

OLD THINKING #8: IF YOU WAIT LONG ENOUGH, THE COURAGE WILL COME TO APPROACH WOMEN.

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OLD THINKING #9: W OMEN KNOW WHAT THEY WANT, AND THEY WILL TELL YOU. .............28 OLD THINKING #10 – DATING IS FAIR, AND YOU WILL GET YOUR TURN ............................29

THE TRUTH ABOUT SEDUCING WOMEN.......................................................31 ALL W OMEN W ANT TO BE SEDUCED ............................................................................31 WOMEN YEARN FOR ROMANCE ...................................................................................32 A MARRIED MAN MIGHT STAND A BETTER CHANCE AT SEDUCING A W OMAN .................33 WHAT CAN YOU LEARN FROM THIS?............................................................................34

THE GAME OF SEDUCTION .............................................................................35 THE LOOK OF SEDUCTION ...........................................................................................35


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THE FEEL OF SEDUCTION ............................................................................................37 THE W AY A W OMAN HEARS SEDUCTION .......................................................................38 THE SEDUCTION ROADMAP: INWARD TO OUTWARD .......................................................40

THE POWER OF SCENTS AND ENERGY........................................................46 HOW A W OMAN W ORKS ..............................................................................................48 RAS-RETICULAR ACTIVATING SYSTEM .........................................................................51

BELIEF SYSTEM AND PERCEPTION ..............................................................53 SMART VS. LUCKY .......................................................................................................54 SHE W ANTS W HAT ONLY YOU CAN GIVE HER ..............................................................56 THE POWER OF BEING YOURSELF ................................................................................58 AND HE’LL HAVE FUN, FUN, FUN! ................................................................................59 A TRUE STORY ...........................................................................................................61 THE EXTERNAL POWER ...............................................................................................62 THE EXTERNAL DRAWBACK .........................................................................................65 HOW TO TRAIN A FLEA................................................................................................67

TAKING DOWN THE WALLS ............................................................................71 FEAR OF SEXUAL DISCLOSURE ....................................................................................71 DIRTY YOUNG MEN .....................................................................................................72 THE POWER OF ADJUSTMENT AND ACCEPTANCE ..........................................................75 THE POWER OF HAPPY ................................................................................................76 GROUNDHOG DAY .......................................................................................................76 REWRITE YOUR MOVIE ................................................................................................78

FEAR AND HESITATION...................................................................................79 STARS AND GODS .......................................................................................................79 WHEN REALITY SMASHES INTO YOUR ILLUSIONS ..........................................................82 ...................................................................................87 ........................................................................................90 ..............................................................................................92 .....................................................................94


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GOLD PANNING TECHNIQUE.........................................................................................96 .............................................................................................................101 ........................104 USING SAMENESS TO GET RID OF THE ELEPHANT .......................................................107 USING DIFFERENCES TO GET RID OF THE ELEPHANT ..................................................110 ...........................................................................114

DICHOTOMY OF WIN AND LOSE...................................................................116 THE NATURE OF SECOND GUESSING..........................................................................116 AN EMPOWERING EXAMPLE .......................................................................................119 MILLIONAIRES AND MASTER SEDUCERS AREN’T AFRAID TO BURN BRIDGES ..................121 GETTING W HAT YOU W ANT FROM THE GET GO ..........................................................122 THE GAME OF SEDUCTION – ARE YOU “ALL IN”?.........................................................124 BECOME A LASER BEAM INSTEAD OF A LIGHT BULB .....................................................128 DEFINING THE PERFECT WOMAN................................................................................131

THE FANTASY OF A WOMAN’S MIND ..........................................................135 THE REALITY OF DON JUAN .......................................................................................135 YOUR “CHARACTER” IN HER FANTASY ........................................................................136 LET THEM TRY ON YOUR ROLE!.................................................................................140 USE THE ENERGY OF CONTRAST ...............................................................................142 CHANGING YOUR CHARACTER AND W HY YOU’D W ANT TO...........................................145 WORDS OF LOVE GET YOU LAID! ...............................................................................147

AND LAST BUT NOT THE LEAST ..................................................................149 SOAP OPERAS ..........................................................................................................149 MEN SAY AND W OMEN IMPLY.....................................................................................153 .....................................................158 ..........................................................................................160 TIME FACTOR ...........................................................................................................163 INTERACTION OF SEDUCTION .....................................................................................164 ESSENCE OF THE MOVIE “SWEPT AWAY” ....................................................................166


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GET OUT THERE AND BE A MASTER SEDUCER!.......................................172


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I have been doing hypnosis for so long, I have a tendency to speak in process language and form - a lot. Process language is language at a deep unconscious level and is very hypnotic. This may sound a bit confusing at first, but don’t let that worry you. It isn’t nearly as difficult as it sounds. I’m explaining this up front so that with time and practice, you will begin to see that the techniques I teach you to become a master seducer, the techniques that crack the code, are actually hypnotic techniques. This doesn’t mean that you will be waving a watch in front of women and saying, “You are getting sleepy.” But it does mean that you will have some of the skills necessary to break down the defenses of women and have them begging to be by your side. The difference between content language and process language is the difference between the instructions for baking a cake and the ingredients in a cake. The ingredients in a cake would be considered content language. The instructions for baking the cake would be process language. The unconscious mind – the part that is working without our control - is much more adept at process language - how things work, how things go together, how things flow, and pattern recognition. So when I talk to people in process language, many times people say to me, "What you said was crystal clear, but I didn’t understand a word you just said.” What they're telling me is that their unconscious mind picked up the information just fine, but they're conscious mind has not yet grasped the information.


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While you're reading this book, keep that in mind and allow yourself some time to absorb these new concepts and ideas. The key is getting BOTH your conscious and unconscious minds to, first, understand, and, then, work together to make you an expert at attracting women. What I am attempting to do in this book is teach you more useful processes that master seducers have learned and women accept – both biologically and in their minds. That is the kind of thing that hypnosis does to people. It overloads the conscious mind and goes directly to the unconscious mind, which, believe it or not, understands it perfectly. An amazing thing happens when the unconscious understands the process. It tests and uses it to see if it is useful. People will initially know that their unconscious mind got the information and is applying it. But over a period of time, things begin to happen. And the next thing I know is that they start to give me stories about how they understand on a conscious level. If I stop them, and ask them why they are telling me that story, most of the time they say, "I have no Idea" and then just stand there with a blank look on their face. That is deep trance. They understand enough to tell me but they don't have any reference points to back it up. They are out in the middle of “know where.” Some people call it a pattern interrupt, because you interrupted the linear flow of thinking. Once a person is at that place, they can be led to just about any place in their thinking (again Hypnosis). The cognitive dissonance (the difference between two seemingly opposed ideas) is so great; that they are looking for any thought that makes sense, any thought Breaking the Seduction Code ©

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to narrow the gap that makes them feel lost. The people become so confused at this point that any idea that seems to make a little bit of sense will be one that they will start to gravitate towards. When the person gets this experience, that is the perfect time to direct them into the desired behavior. So how do we apply this COMPLICATED psychology in an EASY way to pick up women? When you keep a woman guessing and keep her unsure, off-balance, especially in a fun way, you have just created a cognitive dissonance. Do you see how “fun” and “unsure” can be opposing ideas? When she feels this conflict, she will begin to look to you to see if you're going to lead her into a secure and fun place. If you take this opportunity to first create confusion and then lead her out of it to a safe and fun place, maybe even adding excitement, she will let you do it more often. Like Pavlov's dog, you will begin to condition her to know that you are a safe lead to follow. She starts to attach her new and wonderful states of emotion with you. And, since none of her defenses have come up, she is amazed and interested in how you are doing it and she wants more. It’s like a rollercoaster - safe but exciting and unpredictable. She knows something is going on, but not what. It is because you are using process, not content. It is deeper and works much better. If you are dealing with content, you might think that buying a dinner or giving her a gift or leading her to know you're rich or that you have a fast, expensive car will be all that she needs to make her happy. It's like throwing all the ingredients of a Breaking the Seduction Code ©

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cake into the bowl and expecting them to mix themselves and put themselves into the oven until done. It's not going to happen. Let me give you another analogy. Imagine a time before people understood radio waves. But you not only had the information, you had the equipment to send and receive radio signals. Kind of like a Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's court. You would be considered a magician. We'll just imagine that women have no idea about this level of communication. And if they don't have any idea about what you're doing, then they have not developed any defenses over the years to put up against what you're doing. So process information slips right through. It's like finding a backdoor in a computer program that lets you in without the access code. By using this information in the Seduction Code you will be able to get into both the front door and the backdoor simultaneously. Another analogy: One of my teachers, who I believe is enlightened, has been doing this to me for years. Many times I get that ah-ha experience and then all of a sudden, I remember that he told me this awhile back, and I find my mind processing automatically the useful tools that he gave me. It is like they were hidden files waiting to be used. They just needed the right process to be used. Imagine women having many hidden files. All you have to do is find the right process so you can have access to all of them! When I do therapy with people, I explain to them that it is like an engineer who is trying to build an aqueduct, and trying to get the water to the city that needs it. He


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must first plan the routing system and then build the system before he releases the water from the dam. Otherwise the water will flow wherever it flows. What we’re doing is creating channeled viaducts to let the water flow where we want it to flow after we open up the dam. We understand the dynamics of water so we can build according to how water acts and flows. What I am attempting to do is to build the systems at a deep level so when a guy gets into a pinch with a lady, he has some already-installed overflow ducts ready. I want to give him many options. These processes are not just for seducing; they are for making better human beings, and may even open some higher doors for them. If you understand behavior you can prepare for that behavior. If you know someone is going to act a certain way almost every time, it gives you an advantage to prepare yourself for what to say or do. So if we know that men and women's biology are hardwired a certain way, we can begin to plan a journey for them. Just consider yourself a tour guide for women. And if you’re a tour guide, you already know the territory. Your job is to make the journey fun and exciting for them so they will want to come back over and over again.


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You are about to embark on an adventure and like a captain leading his men off to unknown waters gives a speech, we’re going to start off with a poem. OK, it doesn’t sound like the same thing, but this poem is by Colin Fisher and he is a friend of Mark’s as well as a master seducer with no problems with women and sometimes you take your advice in whatever form you can get it.

THE VERY FIRST STEP It starts with a glance, a simple look. So subtle it should never be mistook. Mistake it for a nothing or a whim. Welcoming opportunities they’ll be thin. Relax and send a message so sincere. Communicate on a level where she’ll hear. That level that we call the quantum field. Can permeate a woman’s strongest shield. Avoid sending messages of the smut. Unless you fancy falling on your butt. Court her and Charm her, without a single word. Think only pleasant thoughts, if you want to be heard. Once you have connected, to her to energy strands. Then you can perform, shell be putty in your hands. Like a book shell open, to your every affection. Because now you have a link, you’ve made a deep connection. Breaking the Seduction Code © © 2005, Mark J. Ryan, All Rights Reserved www.SeductionCode.com Contact Mark at [email protected]

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A connection that was made. Before she even knew. She’s feeling those wonderful feelings. And it’s all because of you. The depth that you have traveled to. Can surprise the most beautiful women. It cuts through the intellectual too. It’s almost like a state of Zen. So make sure you appreciate, What it is that you’ve got. Be ready to quantumly change you. Be willing to shift your lot. Ready to acknowledge, this added extra pep. The secret is in the doing, as always in THE VERY FIRST STEP Copyright Colin Fisher November 2003

There’s also another friend you’ll be hearing from throughout the book. Teri is a researcher, editor, and writer lending a hand with this project. She unabashedly admits to thinking men are the greatest creatures God ever made. We don’t always agree philosophically, but at the end of the day, we both want the same thing: for men to be men and women to love them. We’ve asked her to make comments from time to time, just to affirm, or contradict something we’ve said.


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The Early Lessons Learning how to seduce women is a science, practicing seducing women is an art, and like any art or science, you must start with a premise and work to prove it or show it is right. The premise you want to build is effective communication, which isn’t learning how to communicate like a woman, but rather learning to communicate to a woman; confidence (the best accessory you can wear because it fits every woman), and the freedom to flirt – which is a natural offshoot of being able to confidently communicate. We understand that you weren’t born with the command of language Shakespeare was born with, or the looks of a Brad Pitt or charm of a Mel Gibson. The good news is: they weren’t born with them either. They had to meld their natural attributes with lessons they learned along the way to become what we know them as. The even better news: you can develop your attributes, marry them to the lessons in this book, and become a master seducer in your own right. If your looks are more Brad Garrett, than Pitt, if your charm is more Mel Brooks, than Gibson; it doesn’t matter – all four are married to good looking women, which is proof that any man with the right skills can score women – any man! Your very first role models were found at home in your parents. You mimicked their behaviors and depending on how they reacted, you kept some and the others you dropped. If you have siblings, they also modeled behavior, and then there are your friends, teachers, other adults, and even strangers. Some of those behaviors you embraced, some you denied, until voila – it’s a boy! It’s you. It’s how we all learn: we see behaviors or are told to have certain behaviors and, depending on the payoff (in pleasure or pain), we adopt them until they are second nature. Think about it for a moment to let the realization sink in because Breaking the Seduction Code ©

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that’s going to be the key you are going to use to unlock the door that leads to the land of more women. The door that key unlocks are the techniques you will learn. So, if you know we come by who we are by a series of trying on certain behaviors and beliefs and keeping the ones we think fit, do you now see how that same technique can be used to increase the number of beautiful women you can seduce? We’re going to give you the techniques used by master seducers (the art), add some more of what we know, (the science), let you try it on for a while (actually, as long as you like), ask you to put some effort into making it work while we sit back safe in the knowledge we’ve helped increase your love life. We’re going to tell you this again because it bears repeating, but also because that’s one of the techniques to help you understand that your reach has not exceeded your grasp: you can get more beautiful women to talk to you, to date you, and to sleep with you. Yes, you: the guy who doesn’t think he’s good looking enough, rich enough, and doesn’t drive the big name car. You can have more women in your life and in your bed. Milton Erickson, the greatest hypnotist ever, said, “You can pretend anything and master it.” An updated version of the same sentiment is: “If you dream it, you can see it; if you see it, you can achieve it.” If you’ve dreamt of becoming more successful, we’re going to help you see how possible it is. Once you see it, you are well on your way to making it happen, and part of it will be to jump right into the persona of a man who knows he can have beautiful women. There’s really no great secret to getting more women in your life. Simply give them what they want. That’s it. Now for some, that will mean diamonds, furs, and Breaking the Seduction Code ©

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spending money for shopping sprees that would turn Rodeo Drive into a strip mall, but most women aren’t looking for that. Most women have basic needs that go to the very core of their being. They often try and fight it by spouting feminists’ terms, but deep down inside a woman wants a man to be a man. Give her that and she will inscribe your name on her heart forever. If you’re familiar with Maslow’s needs hierarchy, then you know food, shelter, and clothing are the primal needs of every human being – including women. The next need for both men and women is sex. Humans crave closeness and intimacy and sex is one of the ways to achieve it. We’re going to show you to convince her you’re the man to give it to her.

Does it sound incredible? We understand. It sounded that way to us when we heard it, and it was even more incredible when we discovered it worked and our own dating lives picked up. Don’t let disbelief stop you from going for it. And when you do go for, be prepared for the discomfort you’re going to feel and don’t let that stop you, either. It’s going to feel new and different; it will be like wearing a new pair of shoes. They feel a bit uncomfortable, but they’re not yet broken in and you may get a little soreness before they mold themselves to your feet. These new disciplines will take some time before they mold themselves into your personality. You may think you’re not being genuine or true to yourself. Well, I have news for you. You didn’t feel comfortable when you first learned how to walk, drive, and explain to your parents why you missed curfew, but soon that awkwardness disappeared and you forgot about the discomfort and went for what you knew. Breaking the Seduction Code ©

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All we’re asking is that you try these new behaviors and ideas, wear them for a few days, and then determine if you want to keep them or not. There’s a wardrobe to be mixed and matched, and you could come up with a combination that’s news to all of us, and you could learn something you could teach us! We going to repeat this again since repetition is key to learning: You cannot determine if it will work before you work it. You can’t tell if what we’re saying to you is valid based upon your old thinking and your old fears. You have to step out of the comfort zone and try them in order to determine how useful or relevant it is for you. Don’t dismiss it out of hand - that’s your past talking and your past hasn’t done much for you lately. Create an open space in yourself that’s willing to unlearn all you thought you knew and replace it with a new challenge. Don’t let old disempowering beliefs ground you before you have a chance to take off. We’re making the assumption you know where to find women, and can even approach them. We are also assuming that it is too fearful for you to really go for it and that in all likelihood, your technique may need some reworking. Once you know where to find them and see someone you think fits the description of “the perfect woman”, you have to know how to approach a woman. You have to be able to assess the situation to see how long you have to put your plan into action. Generally speaking, you don’t have many options: 1. You have days or weeks to seduce her 2. You have a few hours to seduce her 3. You have a few minutes to seduce her.


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A master seducer knows how to take advantage of a few minutes as well as a few weeks. For some men, it takes more guts to ask a woman out after two minutes than one you’ve been eyeing for two months. For other men, it may be the other way around. Having more than 20 years experience behind me, I can safely tell you to start your seduction process very quickly, within the first few minutes of your first encounter, or you are bound to find the process more difficult in the future. There may be more than one reason why you should start your process immediately: •

To keep you from freezing

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To keep from reverting back to your old ways

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To sharpen and hone your skills

But there’s one primary reason for starting the seduction process right away and making sure your intentions are clear from the very beginning: Because she will decide very quickly whether you’re a potential lover, a potential friend, or a potential nothing to her at all. And when we say quickly, we mean within the first few minutes – like less than five. It’s like an employer looking over resumes - you have to have a hook right at the very beginning or they will gloss over your resume in search of the one that hits them right away. Women are no different and you are interviewing to be her lover. It may be for long term employment, it may be a temp gig, but she’s got to see the potential in you right away or she will decide for herself what category you belong in. And if


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she decides to place you in the friends category, it’s almost a lock you’ll be sentenced there forever with little chance of parole. You must enter into any interaction with a woman you are attracted to as a master seducer. If you enter her mind and emotions as a friend in the beginning, it is extremely difficult to cross back over to lover. So, start off on the right foot, and save yourself some future disappointments. Start immediately as a master seducer. Make it a part of who you are. Both woman and men respect a person confident in their abilities. And you will find that men begin to treat you better because of how you generate interest from women, and your confidence with them. This is why it is important to get your game plan going right away. We do, however, understand how frightening this can be, especially if you aren’t used to talking to women or approaching them. Luckily for you, we are here to teach you! We are here to give you the foundation you can stand on that makes speaking to women easier and more productive all at the same time. And once you make talking to women easier, it becomes easier for you to put your plan into action. We know there’s a glut of information out there. We’ve seen the hardcopy books, the ezines, and the ebooks that tell you how to land women and get laid. And we know that some of those books are filled with just enough information and useful techniques to get you to spend money, but not enough to really make it real. We have filtered through all that information and the stuff that bears repeating is here. AND you get all the stuff the other books don’t tell you. We bring you information and knowledge on how to apply the principles of NLP, hypnosis, and self-treatment.


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What’s the difference? Like we stated at the very beginning – we love women. We love them from a place of knowledge. We understand their complexities and nuances; we understand what makes them so annoyingly complex and wonderful. That knowledge gives an edge to you over those who teach you that a good pick up line and a nice suit is all you need. While looking good and having a command of the language are essentials that we will discuss, we will also tell you that understanding the object of your potential affection and knowing the hows and the whys of the way they act will help you gain confidence in how you act with them. The techniques discussed in this book, and personally used over the past few decades, will teach you how to find out what she wants and how to give it to her. You will be able to take your modus operandi into any place where there are women and wear it like that nice suit. You will have better potential to sweep any woman off her feet, whether it’s a woman you want to sleep with or one who you just want to make feel better about herself. This isn’t just a guide of lines and war strategies; this is a hands-on user guide that looks at seduction as a process instead of an activity. Seduction is more like growing a fruit tree; it keeps growing and producing over the years for you and the women you choose to give the “fruit” to. It’s going to give you skills to know what to say, what to do, and how to gauge and predict her reactions. We are confident this is a more complete and comprehensive guide to dating and seduction than you’ve seen on the net or on the shelves. It doesn’t matter if you’re a beginner or someone who’s had success, you will learn a powerful seduction system that will change your dating and sex life forever. Breaking the Seduction Code ©

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This book will teach you: •

How to appeal to women on a subconscious level.

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How to interpret women’s behavior and use that knowledge to your advantage.

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How to develop a better self image which is a self-fulfilling prophesy in the dating arena.

After reading this book, and putting the techniques in action, you will be able to approach a woman, make her smile, and gain and sustain her interest. You will be such good company that she won’t want you to leave her. Keep it up and she’ll think it was her idea to want you – because it will be. Not only that, she’ll want to be intimate with you! Isn’t that scary? Isn’t it wonderful? Isn’t it about time to learn? Let’s get started and congratulations in advance!


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Previously we stated you needed to be willing to create an open space in your mind and that was best accomplished by dismissing some of the myths about women and dating commonly held as the truth. It’s gotten to be a habit among men to believe certain things about women and how to get them to date us. We pass this information on to each other, affirm our own fears, and hold them as the truth. The only way to change a habit is to take one behavior or belief and replace it with another one we can use until we believe it as easily as we believed what we thought was true before. We would like to help you get rid of some of the most common beliefs regarding women and dating and give you the reasons why you should replace that old thinking with new thoughts.

Old Thinking #1: You Have To Be Good Looking to Date Women New Thinking: Do good looks give you an advantage? Certainly, but ask a frog what he thinks is good looking and he’ll say slimy skin, bulging eyes, and a nicely placed wart. Attractiveness and good-looking mean different things to different people. And women are less visual than men. We tend to go for the looks and eventually hope there’s something beneath them. A woman will look but she’s on the lookout for that thing we only hope for. A good-looking jerk will find himself out on the street in favor of the not-so-handsome guy who knows how to treat her. You may not have seen some really handsome guys without women (though we’ve seen plenty), but we’ve all seen guys we don’t think are as good looking as Breaking the Seduction Code ©

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we are, who are with beautiful women. We’ve all seen men with a beautiful woman and we can’t even imagine what she’s doing with him. We’ve come to the conclusion that attractiveness for women means something different than it does for men, and that’s good news for us. It’s not your hair, or how big your…feet are; your best feature is confidence.

Old Thinking #2: You need lots of money in order to seduce women New Thinking: We shouldn’t even have to talk about this. You’ve seen hot women with the mailman, the guy at the hardware store, and with people you work with. They don’t make a great deal of money. Are there women who want men with lots of money and have that as a criterion for whom they’ll date? Yes. We call them gold diggers and we don’t want them anyway. But for the rest of us who make average bank, we can still get beautiful women because that’s not what most of them are after. Sure, they want us to pick up the tab, but admit it; we want to pick it up most of the time because it makes us feel like a man. That doesn’t mean you have to go the expensive restaurants or get courtside seats. It may mean you have to be creative, but creative will get you points. We guarantee there are some minimum wage guys with maximum sex lives.

Old Thinking #3: Good Looking Women Will Want Nothing to Do With You New Thinking: Does anyone know where this started? Women: hot, lukewarm, or cool have the same physical needs as men. And when they need them Breaking the Seduction Code ©

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fulfilled, they are going to look for the best person to fulfill them. Since they are not as visual as men, they may appreciate a man’s physical beauty, but he better bring something else to the table if he wants to take a seat. This is where a guy who isn’t at the top of the handsome chain can make his move. She will appreciate the confidence of a man willing to approach her and make it clear he can deliver to her needs. She’s not likely to throw that guy in the friendship category during those first few critical minutes. If she is a woman all the guys in the room consider hot, you know there will be men there who will look at her but don’t touch because they buy into the myth that she won’t go for them. That leaves room for you and your approach.

Old Thinking #4: If You Are Nice, Sensitive, and Show Your Emotions, Women Will Want You. New Thinking: This is tricky because it’s more of a half myth. Women do want someone nice – they don’t want someone wimpy. They do want someone sensitive – they don’t want who is so sensitive they’re scary. They want someone emotional, but no more emotional than they are. They want somebody kind, but not somebody who reminds them first of a friend. If the encounter becomes a relationship, and the relationship becomes a commitment, you can add being a friend later on. At the beginning, you don’t want her to see you as a friend. You want her to see you as a potential lover. This means your approach should be ‘friendly’ but not friendship. That doesn’t mean you walk up to her and say: “I’d like to do you right now.” It means your approach and your demeanor should let her know you’re not just making idle talk and looking for someone to hang out with.


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Old Thinking #5: Solve Her Problems and She’ll Sleep With You New Thinking: Try this and women will punish you in more ways than one; the first being she won’t sleep with you. The second is, she will stick you hard into the friendship category and will actually call you for advice about the guy she is sleeping with who does her wrong. Third, eventually, you will be direct and tell her you want to be her lover and she’ll tell you that would akin to doing her brother. Women already have outlets for that kind of stuff; they’re called other women or girlfriends. Let them be therapists for each other - at least at this juncture. Like we said, you can add that part later. It will still be a tricky situation because women don’t like it when they tell you something and you tell them how to handle it. At this point, that’s not the drama and tension you want to create. Best leave girlfriend behavior to girlfriends.

Old Thinking #6: There are a limited number of women available and most of them are busy. New thinking: O.k. there are a finite number of women on the planet and some of them are married, some don’t wish for relationships, some are gay, some won’t be compatible with you, and some just aren’t within a reasonable traveling distance. That leaves roughly thousands for you to choose from. Women already think there’s a shortage of good men so if you’re on your game even a little bit, you’ve moved up ahead of a lot of men. If you’re running into the problem with women telling you they have no time, face that what they’re saying is they won’t make the time, and then figure out what it is Breaking the Seduction Code ©

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about your approach that needs to be changed so they will feel like being more accessible to you.

Old Thinking #7: Getting a hot woman to have sex with you is too time consuming. New Thinking: As opposed to the woman just sitting around with nothing to do? Who are you kidding? It’s work no matter which way you go – but it’s work that’s worth it when you consider you’re getting the sex you want. This is a complaint made by guys who haven’t used their time wisely in learning how to seduce women or maintain a woman’s attention and thus aren’t as successful as they’d like to be. It’s time to stop whining and using tired excuses instead of reaching higher. After you’ve applied what you’ll learn here, you won’t even recognize that old complainer you used to be.

Old Thinking #8: If you wait long enough, the courage will come to approach women. New Thinking: And if you click your heels three times, the man behind the curtain will help you find that courage. Courage is a verb. It needs action to make itself work. You find it along the way when you’re headed to doing something that isn’t the most comfortable thing for you to do. While you’re waiting for the courage to magically appear, there’s someone out there making the moves on your girl, and she won’t know she’s supposed to turn him down, because you haven’t given her the option. Step up to the plate, dude.


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Old Thinking #9: Women know what they want, and they will tell you. New Thinking: No, they won’t - at least not directly - at least not at first. Women communicate differently than men and a lot of that has to do with wanting you to learn how to read their minds and know instinctively what it is they need. Well, unless you’re a mind reader, and you aren’t or else you wouldn’t need this book, or unless you’re really good at reading a woman, and you will be after reading this book, you need a woman to be more forthright than she’ll probably be. The truth is, women don’t always know what they want because they have their own unique fears and hang-ups, and then they have their individual ones and both sets collide to keep a brother from taking a quick path to their bedrooms. Guys, believe me - nobody wants someone who is oblivious to their (biological) needs - especially a woman. They want someone very special, with the qualities they’ve spent a good deal of time fantasizing about, and who has the qualities that can meet their deepest sexual needs. Most women are not attracted to supplicants, begging for the easy keys to melt their heart. It’s your independent nature and courage that gets them going, not your dependency on being told how to act. What women say they want and what they actually respond to are often totally different. Women can’t tell you what they want in a man; they can only tell you what they think they want in a man. There is a big difference. If you want to be successful in this game, then take initiative to break the barrier.


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Teri Tells: I know, it’s amazing I’ve stayed quiet this long, but this is the first thing I take true issue with. What I say I want is exactly what I want. If it seems like she’s changing her mind, you’ve probably fulfilled some of what she wants and she’s seeing if you’ve got the rest, or she’s discovered something you have that she didn’t think you did. If all you want is sex and only sex, don’t get frustrated at us because we’re not one-dimensional. We know what you want, but you’re going to have to show us something saying you’re worth giving it to.

Old Thinking #10 – Dating is fair, and you will get your turn New Thinking: You’re kidding, right? You know nothing in life is fair, and most especially dating. It is one of the most unfair systems there is – just ask the people on both sides. Men think women have the advantage and women think men do. There’s probably some truth on both sides, but since we’re men, we’re going with women have the advantage, and they aren’t going to give it to a guy sitting back and waiting for it to come to them. That’s not even natural for a man. Men are hunters, women are gatherers and nurturers. We must go after what we want in business, in sports, and in dating. The guy sitting back twiddling his thumbs will never have anything else to play with. I was talking to a friend of mine the other day. He was telling me about a friend of his that is 65 years old and has only been laid 2 times in his whole life. Two times!!! Here is the kicker. He has been married for 45 of those years. His wife (if you can call her that) has only given it up, twice, in 45 years. Frank was a virgin before he got married. Again he played by the rules. Breaking the Seduction Code ©

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But my buddy said Frank keeps trying with his wife, but she keeps calling him a pervert and saying “Not now”. My buddy said Frank is a great guy and believes he should follow the rules of the game he started with. That’s the kind of result I hear ALL the time in my therapy business and at a lot of the trade shows I do where men are the primary customers. Their situations may not be as severe as Frank’s, but it sure feels the same to any man to get treated that way. I offered free therapy to Frank. Lets see if I can get him “some” before the poor guy dies. Dating is a game. It’s a competition and an arena that can be navigated with success by those willing to get into it and mix it up. One year from now you will either be better, the same, or worse off than you are right now. If you’re going to be here anyway, why not be here with a woman who finds you attractive and wants to sleep with you?

Teri Tells: I’ve offered to fly out to wherever Frank is and let him go crazy with me. He’s a bit older than me, but I figure he’d be so grateful it would be worth my while.


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Here’s the funny thing about the universe: it was built so men and women would say yes to each other. Think about it a second. We all have base, animal instincts and animals mate using their own rituals, but they mate. They may preen and prance, and shake some feathers, but the bottom line is they end up locked together. They say yes to what their natures call them to do. Man is the only animal that places layers over our basic instincts and makes it a frustrating game built with rights and wrongs, and moral codes. That doesn’t mean we should all shed our clothes and go after each other like banshees – though that might have some merit, but we’ve gotten ourselves wrapped into our own rules so that the meaning of being a man or being a woman has moved far away from what it meant when we were first created. We want to teach you to get through those layers and back to the basics. That starts with understanding that, deep down, a woman is searching for a way to say yes to you. We understand you’ve run into a group of women who are adept at saying no, but we believe we can change that around. We believe:

All Women Want to Be Seduced It is a universal truth that all women want to be seduced. Seduction is a game of push and pull, give and take. Generally women get a LOT of pull and take, but not nearly enough of a well timed and well executed give and push. Seduction is a man’s game; women don’t need it - perhaps because there are so many jerks who crave them. With all the guys drooling over them, they are constantly building defenses to ward off the onslaught of needy men. As a master seducer, Breaking the Seduction Code © © 2005, Mark J. Ryan, All Rights Reserved www.SeductionCode.com Contact Mark at [email protected]

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you give her a chance to experience the proper kind of seduction her body and mind really desire. You give her a chance to compete in a game she wants to lose. Not a game that is given to her on a silver platter by a wimp. What fun is it to go out and play and be given the trophy before you get to the playing field? There is no fun in that for women. No, friend, this is a game women want to play. They want a man who knows how to play it with her in a way that brings out the seductress in her. You have heard it said many times by women, “We want a CHALLENGE.” They want you to compete for their virtue. We will show you how throughout this book.

Women Yearn For Romance It’s part of the ritual that helps them get back to the basics. For all the outcry of equal rights (and there should be) and women who can take care of themselves (and they should), romance novels sell billions of dollars in revenue every year. Whatever else they yearn for; they yearn for romance. There are male animals who have to display for females in order to gain their attention. Wild peacocks, for example, only show that magnificent display of feathers when they want to mate. They use their gifts to try and convince a peahen to mate with him. There are gifts you can give a woman that will lead her to thinking she could do worse than be with you: •

Show up on time

•

Open the door

•

Be obvious but not leering when you check out her body


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•

When you’re out, don’t be obvious when you check out other women

•

Don’t be rude to the wait staff

•

Make sure you shower before hand.

Do just those few things and you would have smoked half your competition.

A Married Man Might Stand A Better Chance at Seducing a Woman We all know of men who have their flings on the side and a wife at home. A married man doesn’t have to go through the same rituals as a single guy. He already has a woman at home so he doesn’t have anything to prove. That means he can be out on the prowl and can take or leave women as they come along. If he’s a master communicator as well as a master seducer, he can use his married state to either make a women feel sorry for him and thus ignite her need to nurture and fix, or he can use it to make it a challenge and ignite her need to compete. Either way, he can focus more on the objective of the game. A married man looking for women who knows how to get them is lethal. Don’t believe us? We have two words for you: Bill Clinton.

Teri Tells: I want to make it clear. We aren’t telling married men to do this. What we’re telling you single guys out there is that you can change your focus from yourself to what you’re after and you’ve moved a step ahead towards getting what you want.


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What Can You Learn From This? One of the key things you’re going to learn is that you have a right to exist and a right to exist with a healthy sex life. You have to exude that right when dealing with the opposite sex. Walk like a man with confidence, and that’s what they’ll see. Act like a man’s who’s desperate or one who drools all over himself, and they’ll see that, too. If deep down inside you know you’re a man of humor, confidence, and attractiveness, allow those feelings to guide you inch by inch until you’re living who you are.


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Men and women are wired differently. Thank God for that. But because of that, we have to learn how to navigate the waters of the other side; just as women have to learn how to steer through our stuff. It isn’t always easy; it isn’t always clear, but the good news is that though men and women view it differently – we both have the same goal that ends in the bedroom.

The Look of Seduction They say seduction is mostly visual for men. Women have no problem with this concept. The "fairer sex" works hard to be visually pleasing. We all know stories of women spending hours getting ready to go out. They are rising to the level that they believe men will find very attractive. And don’t let women fool you with that sisterhood thing, women dress for other women; they dress to outshine the other women and bring the male attention to them. It’s the confident women that don’t let it show. What do we care? We get the benefit of both the women and the competition. Women literally support the economy, between clothing stores, hairdressers, cosmetics, general beauty products, and getting their nails done every few weeks. Most of them learn the subtle little tricks that enable them to present their bodies in the best possible way. When in seduction mode, they know how to look sexy, walk sexy, sit sexy, smile sexy, laugh sexy, and ultimately be sexy. Why? Because they know we’re visual. Whether you are male or female; regardless of your sexual orientation; no matter what kind of body houses your mind, heart, Breaking the Seduction Code © © 2005, Mark J. Ryan, All Rights Reserved www.SeductionCode.com Contact Mark at [email protected]

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and soul—whatever you do, determine to present yourself in the best possible way. Men, do your best to look nice. There isn't a person alive who doesn't appreciate a lover who works hard to be attractive and inviting. If it means losing some weight, getting some new clothes, or even changing the brand of deodorant you use, do it. In simpler words, the person you want to seduce will need to "see" you as being desirable. Nothing less and nothing more! Next point is that seduction is appealing. Yes? Yes, of course. Let’s see how. The dance between the sexes is a wonderful thing when it comes to the subject of seduction. Making ourselves alluring and attractive to the one we desire is both fun and exciting. If that were not so, then there would not be as much need for glamorous lingerie shops, hairdressers, rows, and rows of cosmetic shelves in department stores, stores that sell sexy clothing, and hundreds of fragrances from name brand manufacturers. Women know how to be alluring. That’s one of the reasons they can be so frightening. The trouble they go through with the hair, and the makeup, and the clothes to make themselves look so good is intimidating to men who don’t have to bother with the ritual. Can that woman who is so good looking be real? Yes, with the help of Max Factor and Estee Lauder, but we don’t think of that at the time. We just see a stack of gorgeous woman and we freak.

Teri Tells: Please don’t take that to mean that if you aren’t in the greatest shape you shouldn’t be out on the dating scene. Yes, we appreciate the effort, because we want you to appreciate ours. But we also want to know that if we don’t emulate what you see in the magazines, that you’ll still find us attractive. We’ll give that same courtesy to you. It’s amazing how attractive a plain guy can be if he knows how to handle his business with a woman. Good looks may be an initial attraction that gets you in the door, but your happy little ass and sixpack will be hitting that same door if you don’t deliver anything else. Breaking the Seduction Code ©

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The Feel of Seduction Seduction is romantic, and romance is all about feel - both the inner and outer feelings. The number one feeling a woman must have towards you is safety. If she’s looking for a short-term relationship, she needs to feel safe that you won’t turn into a stalker when the end of the term comes. If she’s looking for a longterm relationship, she needs to feel safe that you won’t do anything to harm her heart. If she’s looking for sex, she needs to feel safe enough to allow her body to do what it needs to do in order to gain satisfaction. Even if what she wants to do is take you for everything you have and empty your bank account and your personal wealth of confidence, she needs to feel safe enough to get away with it. That safety can take many different forms and is probably more of a collage of requirements than just one specific one. But there are things you can do that, like a well placed bowling ball can knock a few of them down in one throw. Getting someone to feel romantic towards you means doing those little things "in between.” It’s really great that you can last for hours in the bed, but it’s those hours when you’re vertical that can make the horizontal hours more fulfilling for her. Romance is the fine art of genuinely treating the object of your interest with an attitude that arouses the desire in her – creating a want to be with you

What are some of the ways to arouse those feelings?


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Calling when you say you will. Touching her in a way that’s a secret between the two of you. Kissing her gently instead of always snaking your tongue down her throat. One of my friends and a master seducer shared how he seduced his new girl the first time while sharing a meal together. We won't be too descriptive here but to say only that he did certain things with food items while he was eating them in a way that she definitely got the point. He said that he had a wonderful time doing it and they look back and laugh about it now. He ate his meal very slowly and deliberately and then delayed eating the last little bite for about 10 minutes. Both the waitress and the woman were waiting in anticipation for him to finish, and he would just smile at them saying he was enjoying the anticipation of the last bite. He was sending an underlying message to them about his ability to delay gratification. He was showing them that he knew how to build up anticipation of something good. He was showing them what he was going to do with them. And he had lots of fun doing it. Imagine what he did with dessert. It’s amazing when you watch this kind of power in person.

Teri Tells: Guys – here’s a hint for seduction. Take her to an ice cream parlor and just lick your ice cream cone. No chomping. No slurping. Just licking. Be sure to look her in the eyes while doing so. It’s a sure thing!

The Way a Woman Hears Seduction


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There’s a way a woman hears seduction. It’s the difference between a bad pick up line and telling her what she wants to hear. Ask a woman the best way to approach her and she will tell you to just say hello and leave all the cheesy pickup lines at home. There are certain things she wants to hear and she doesn’t want it to sound as if it’s something you say to every woman you meet. She wants to know that you’ve learned enough about her or want to learn enough about her to make her feel different than the other women you’ve talked to or will talk to again. She won’t help but notice the way you look, but it’s what you say that will determine whether or not you’re dismissed right away or never. Likewise, how you speak to a woman in bed, or when you want to get her there, can make or break an evening. There’s naughty talk, there’s dirty talk, and there’s gross talk. There’s a woman out there that likes each of those and you better make a determination which woman you’re with before you open your mouth.

Teri Tells: A guy I was with called me a bitch while we were in bed. He never called me a bitch outside of bed or anywhere else and I hadn’t been in bitch mode with him. We weren’t having hardcore sex, either. It broke the mood because I didn’t understand where it came from and took me from feeling safe to feeling uncomfortable.

You’re going to have to learn the specifics of each woman as you go along because they each have their own spin on what it feels and looks like. But that’s one of the fun challenges about becoming a master seducer - unlocking all the nuances of women. The road to her individual taste is mapped by the common Breaking the Seduction Code ©

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themes all women have. Our job is teaching you how to travel on the main highway that will take you to her private road. We’re going to show you the techniques you can use that all master seducers have used. They’re common to the men who know how to please women, and they can become common to you.

The Seduction Roadmap: Inward to Outward We look at the whole process of seduction as a mental map. You can see where you are, where you want to be, and the best route to take. Where you are now is a place where women are not responding to you in the manner you would like. Where you want to be is a place where you can be comfortable knowing your sex life is going exactly as planned. How you get there is by using the tools we provide to be able to focus on those things that will work for you as opposed to those things that hold you back. You will move forward in strength instead of in fear. You will learn how to make a woman feel special. Knowing how to handle each woman on an individual level is the difference between the standard approach to every woman, and the specialized approach you’ll be able to make. When you focus on your fears, your barriers, and your anxieties, you’re looking inward and staying there. You surround yourself with all types of negative thinking, which translates into negative actions and negative responses. When you recognize what you’re doing, and you make a conscious effort to change, and when you also begin to focus on how you interact with women, the process moves from inward to outward and the results are much more positive. Why? Because you take into consideration there’s someone else besides you. A woman will know if you’re


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paying attention to her. Your chance of success with her depends on making it clear she’s the object of your attention, and not what she can do for you.

Here’s a chart that explains the difference between inward and outward thinking:

!

"

# $

%

&

#

"

'

"

( )

) Women like the seduction game. We know they tell you they don’t like game playing and that’s a different thing. We as humans know the hunt and catch game but what we don’t like is when someone plays the game outside the norms. Men are no different than women. Men don’t appreciate women who tease, or women who try to change who they are. Men don’t like it when a woman acts too forward. Women have their own code of behaviors they don’t like in men during the seduction game.


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What you’re going to learn is how to read a woman so you don’t use the wrong strategies when trying to woo her; thus increasing your chance of success with her. 1. The first step to gaining outward focus is realizing there’s something going on inside that needs tending. 2. The second step is listening to our self-talk as we approach women or any other challenge. 3. The third is replacing those negative thoughts with positive ones that better suit our purpose. Here’s a reality check so you know this stuff is true: If you have Caller I.D. on your phone, you probably look at it before you pick up the phone. If it’s someone you want to speak with, your mind says: “Great, it’s Mark!” If it’s someone you don’t want to speak with, your mind says: “Damn, it’s Mark!” You played an inner tape, you listened to it, and your responded outwardly. Either you picked up the phone anticipating a good conversation, or you ignored it avoiding a conversation, or you picked up anticipating a bad conversation. Your inward dialog controlled your outward response. When you're talking to your best friend and you feel completely comfortable, you're focused outward. You're paying attention to your friend's responses, going with the flow, and relaxed. You don't think to yourself, "What do I say next?" and you're not focused on your own feelings. You just act normal and natural, and are simply not running all those negative self-talk dialogues. As a master seducer, when you go out to meet women, or when you're already holding a conversation with a woman, you also need to be outwardly focused. You should be talking with women as if they were just like your best friend Breaking the Seduction Code ©

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naturally and easily. If you're internally focused, however, "over-thinking,” tense and forced conversation, hesitation, and negative internal dialogue hold you back. Honestly, these feelings or activities are your number one enemy. Don’t confuse “talking like she’s your best friend” with “acting like she’s your best friend.” We want you to be as comfortable with your seduction technique as you are hanging with your friends. But trust us when we tell you not to act like she’s your best friend. She already has one and chances are it’s a woman. You want to act like someone who will be her lover. Move in the direction of trying to be her friend first and you find yourself delegated to that special place called ‘just friends’ with no way to get off the island. One of the best ways to practice inward to outward thinking is through public speaking. Think about it. If you can capture an entire audience, you should be able to do well one on one using the same principles: figuring out what the audience needs, wants, and expects, and delivering it to them. In that same way, you will figure out what the woman in front of you needs and be able to deliver it to her. Public speaking forces you to practice relaxation in front of other people, taking action, leading a situation, and taking command of the situations and circumstances around you. When you're speaking publicly, you can't be inside your head at the same time. Of course, you may be nervous and really suck at it at first - but that's the whole point. You've spent so much time practicing inward focus that your outward focus skills are weak and you can't expect them to improve overnight. But they will improve. Gaining confidence from public speaking is probably one of the most important attributes you’ll ever discover. It will speed up your Breaking the Seduction Code ©

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seduction learning curve dramatically. If you are already a public speaker you’ll find that it is fairly easy to transfer the confidence you get from speaking to seduction. If the opportunities to speak publicly aren’t readily available or readily created, there are some other things you can do to start changing your game plan. Begin to look at guys that are great with the women. You may not like every aspect of who they are, but I’m sure you can find something that you like about the way they seduce women. Find a quality you admire and try it on. Maybe he smiles at every woman he sees, whether she’s available or not. Whatever he does, you do it, too. Fight the anxiety and the discomfort. Those feelings will be replaced with the confident feelings you will gain after practicing for a few days. So begin your outward search finding the qualities that you like in the men that are already successful doing what you want to do. Of course, the VERY best way to practice inward to outward thinking is by speaking with women and doing your level best to act normal around them. I know what you’re saying: “I’m nervous, that’s what’s normal for me!” Well, yes and no. Nervousness is an energy that’s inward based. What you want to do is push that energy outward and use it to connect with a woman. That’s why we say you should emulate the tone, body movements, and speech you would use when speaking to a family member or a good friend. It will help ease the nerves and raise the confidence. We understand it’s a scary notion. We understand how much easier it would be to hide away. You always have the option to hide away. If at any moment, any of this gets to be too much for you, feel free to discontinue use and be alone for the rest of your life. Of course, a miraculous Breaking the Seduction Code ©

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thing could happen and the universe could decide to bless you with a wonderful sex life without you having to do anything to earn it. But do you think you have that kind of connection with the universe? We are blessed with great imagination and that imagination will allow us to create buildings, high tech equipment, and excuses for not going after what we want. I’m shy. I don’t have time. All the stuff we went through at the beginning of the book. Stop it right now. It’s time to grow up and be a man and have all the things a man has a right to have - including the companionship of sexy women. Jerks have sexy women around them. I’m sure you know one. Guys who you know don’t deserve the women who fawn over them. Well, you’re the only one who doesn’t know they shouldn’t have them, and your opinion doesn’t count. Instead of thinking badly about them, start thinking better about yourself and take the steps you need to take to get what you want.


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All of our senses pick up some kind of waves some kind of frequency wave. With vision it is

Energy – The giving and

light waves; with sound it is sound waves; smell,

receiving of conscious and

taste, and touch also have a frequency wave

unconscious stimuli

that is transmitted through your nervous system.

And since all waves are energy in movement. let’s just call it ENERGY for the sake of the point I’m trying to make. I don’t claim that this analogy is true and you can probably find a lot of fault with it. However, if you will follow me through this and see it through my eyes, you’ll get a perspective that I believe will be very useful to you. This s my promise to you - you will not feel disappointed after going through these subsequent paragraphs. Begin to consider this while watching the interaction between yourself and others, or just watching other people, and you’ll begin to see the dynamics that I am talking about and how important they are to you becoming a master seducer. So let’s take this journey together and see what happens. The other day I was watching this television program on cable and it was about these private investigators who were looking for a missing person. The person had been missing for several days. They decided to bring in a bloodhound dog to see if they could still track his smell. I could not believe they were going to bring in this dog after several days. I found it very hard to believe that there would be any smell or any evidence left. Just think about it - how long does a smell last for you? Breaking the Seduction Code © © 2005, Mark J. Ryan, All Rights Reserved www.SeductionCode.com Contact Mark at [email protected]

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So anyways, they bring in this dog, and sure enough, this dog picks up this guy’s scent from several days ago. Not only did the dog pick up the scent from where he walked, he started to sniff the weeds at about thigh level. When the interviewer asked him why the dog smelled there at such a high level and not on the ground, the owner of the dog said that the dog can also smell if someone has been in a car. And it can follow where the car goes with him in it if it is not going too fast. So this dog did not only smell the tracks of this kid, he was able to track this kid, in a car. The dog eventually led them to the end of this dirt road into the water, where the dog lost the scent. The kid was eventually found in the water downstream. I also think about sharks and how they can sense the smell of blood from miles away as soon as it is released in the water. How the heck does the scent travel through water, at that speed? It makes me wonder if there are other qualities to scent (smell) that we haven’t yet figured out. Just because we, as humans, can only smell things at certain distances, it doesn’t mean that something a lot bigger is going on. If we look at light, we can see, between the red in the blue of the spectrum. We cannot see the ultraviolet rays and we cannot see the infrared rays. We can feel the effect of them if we stay in the sun too long. With the ultraviolet rays we can feel the sunburn and with the infrared rays we can feel the warmth of the sun while basking in it, but we cannot see them. The same thing is true for sound. We know that if we blow a dog whistle we cannot hear it, but the dog still comes running because the dog hears it. And we know the United States Navy uses ultra low frequency to track subs in the oceans, and we cannot hear that either. Breaking the Seduction Code ©

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My point is that there’s a lot more going on in our world that our five senses cannot register consciously. But what if we are picking up things on an unconscious and/or a super conscious level? Here’s another way to put it: have you met someone with whom you felt an instant connection? You saw them, or shook their hand, and for whatever reason, you could feel your body reacting to them in a positive and charged way? If someone were to ask you what it was, you wouldn’t be able to tell them, at least not at the moment, but it’s there all the same. That feeling, that sense of having that automatic connection – that’s energy! The master seducer has learned how to discharge energy from himself to a woman that will make her feel as if she’s known him and liked him her whole life. She won’t be able to put her finger on it, but she won’t be able to deny it either. Sweet. Great, you say. If you can’t really explain it, how can I channel it? By realizing it’s there and by knowing how a woman operates, you can figure out how to tap into it.

How A Woman Works I believe it is our thoughts that create states and emotions that then send out our unique signal. Although men and women both rely on the visual first, the man puts most of the weight of his initial decision on the looks of woman. And he can stay and be happy with that element alone. Breaking the Seduction Code ©

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The woman, on the other hand, uses the visual and then transfers her awareness to her feelings. She may initially be attracted to you because of your looks, but, ultimately, she will determine if she will go home with you by how she feels.

Teri Tells: I want to clarify something here. Women may start initially with “looks” but the definition of “good looks” varies widely among women. We don’t all like jocks and we don’t all like jerks. We don’t all find the same kind of men sexy! And Mark is absolutely correct when he says that we don’t stick on the looks for long. You’d better be bringing something else to the table or you may as well just stay home!

The seducer knows this and uses this information to his advantage. You remember the story about the dog that could find the boy’s scent after a few days? We know animals have an acute sense of smell, so much so, that we say an animal can ‘smell’ fear. Now we know it’s not an actual scent, but it is an actual ‘sense’ And it’s nothing compared to that of a woman. A woman will be able to smell fear and a lack of confidence the moment you begin to approach her. And like the gazelle that can sense the lion, she’ll put herself out of your reach. The weak-minded man puts out a smell or energy of submission. Submission is an automatic turn off to most women. And most women, if not all, lose respect with submissive men. Since we, as men, desire respect from a women, we are really sabotaging ourselves in the process.


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They might find your nervousness an endearing quality of your sincerity. But you can bet if you don’t get over it enough to make the move or initiate contact, she will quickly dispense of the notion that you’re charming. She’s going to wonder why you’re scared and what that means for her if she has to deal with you. She will begin to think of reasons to say no to you, and she will use the first one she finds to exit your field of play.

Think about it. If you were a woman, and you can get any man you wanted, what kind of feelings would you want to be feeling? Would fear be your first choice, or would power? Would it be submission or would it be confidence? My research says fear in dealing with women comes in two forms: the fear of embarrassment, and the twin fears of success and failure. The master seducer doesn’t register embarrassment because he believes he has a right to pursue the kind of life he wants. He doesn’t have a fear of success because he believes in his abilities. He doesn’t fear failure because he believes that if he doesn’t connect with a woman it isn’t because he didn’t have what it took. Other circumstances resulted in her not getting the connection. He moves on because he didn’t hear ‘no’, he heard ‘next.’ If you haven’t reached the level of a master seducer, your fear of success may be due to lack of a clear plan should she say yes. You are so focused on that first step, and her possible rejection, that you have no idea what to do should she deem you worthy of her time. Tsk. Tsk. A master seducer always knows what to do. He plans to use the energy he knows a woman possesses to lead her to believe she wants to spend time with Breaking the Seduction Code ©

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him, all the while knowing the impetus for her decision is his skill to make her want to feel that way.

RAS-Reticular Activating System If I place a woman under a trance using hypnosis and instruct her to remove her shoes and socks and then bring her out of the trance and ask her why she’s barefoot, she will begin to create reasons why she is. She may say her foot hurt or itched, or her shoe was tight. Now, any of those could be true, but she has no idea that the real reason she did it was

RAS – The mechanism in our brain that allows us to create reasons for doing unexplainable things

because she was instructed to and she will work to create a reason to explain the unexplainable. The first need for every human is safety, and when something happens to us that we cannot explain, that makes us vulnerable. Our first instinct says we need to find a safe place, whether it be physical or mental. She didn’t, or couldn’t, say she took off her sock because she was hypnotized, so she created reasons that supported her beliefs and made her feel safe instead of vulnerable. So, imagine being a master seducer who can place a woman in such a state that she feels vulnerable around you, but it doesn’t induce fear. In fact, she likes the feeling so much she will begin to think of reasons why it’s o.k. to be around you. Now, because all human beings have this energy flow back and forth, and because all humans have the RAS mechanism, it’s possible that any human Breaking the Seduction Code ©

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being can use it when dealing with any other human being. That’s good news for those of you who don’t think you’re particularly good looking, or don’t possess the big car, or the high paying job. If you master the craft of stirring those feelings inside of a woman, she will reason for herself that those things don’t even matter.


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The other day I was at a trade show and I was talking to this gentleman and I figured he was about 45 years old. Let me say, we all carry a belief system inside of us. There are things we instantly believe and it’s not anything we can shut off. We can change those systems, and do on a regular basis, sometimes daily, but we always ‘believe what we believe’ and I believed this guy was 45 years old. So, my belief systems treated him as someone that was older than me. And I saw him that way. At one point in the conversation I said something about our age. He then asked me how old I thought he was. I figured I would answer him as being a little younger than I really thought he was, so I said 40 to 43. He said, “Thanks; I am only 32 years old.” Oops. I apologized and admitted my embarrassment. And then an amazing thing happened. The next time I really looked at him, the 45-year-old man I thought he was, began to fade away, and I could begin to see the features of the 32-year-old man he really was. Everyone has had that happen in one form or another. You may have met one of your friend’s girlfriends and not thought she was particularly attractive. Of course, you didn’t say anything to your friend. But over time, after hanging around with her and seeing some of the things your friend sees in her, your view changed and you decided she wasn’t so bad after all. Your belief system changed because it received change-worthy information and made the adjustment. Breaking the Seduction Code © © 2005, Mark J. Ryan, All Rights Reserved www.SeductionCode.com Contact Mark at [email protected]

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The same thing can happen to a woman in the presence of a master seducer. When he first approaches, she may not think he’s the type of guy she would be interested in, but she let’s him approach for her own reasons. He does, and he applies his craft and skill, and soon her mind is seeing him in a way that makes her feel good, comfortable, and safe. Now you know why you need a plan.

Smart vs. Lucky The man, who has not yet attained master status, thinks of getting a woman like a Bingo game - someone draws out numbers and if he gets lucky, he’ll find them on his card. Or he thinks that just because he shows up, that’s enough. He’ll find someone somehow. He doesn’t know the details. He just thinks it will happen. These two men, though on opposite sides of the confidence spectrum, don’t get it. They both leave things up to chance with putting in the effort that will make the endeavor so much easier on them. When things don’t work out, they waste time in accessing their RAS, rationalizing why their method didn’t work. The master seducer does the same thing, but his rationalization keeps him moving forward while the non-masters use theirs to stand still or go backward. We’re going to give you techniques that will help you with your plan and will allow you to change your belief systems from one lined with fear to one lined with faith: the assurance you will have a much improved sex life. And then a magical thing will happen. You will begin to catch on to the process, and the positive experiences are the reinforcement you need to continue.


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It is like a perpetual motion machine. It requires some effort to get momentum going initially, and then the energy you begin to get back from the results also includes the energy to keep going. If you learn the skills, and hone them until they become a part of you, your magic will happen and you will notice the pool of women available to you has suddenly increased. Where before you couldn’t find women anywhere, you will find them everywhere you go, and not only that, you find that they are making their interest in you known in ways they had not done so before. My, you’re a lucky guy. My, you’re a smart guy. I admit to watching master seducers work their charm and being envious of them. That doesn’t happen any more because I took on their traits and characteristics and the time to be envious was replaced by time spent with women who wanted me. Interestingly enough, after you’ve begun to master the techniques and you begin to bring more women into your life, women no longer remain the obsessive focus. You can breathe again without worrying where your next date is coming from. Because you know you have skills to seduce a woman, almost at will, you can relax and turn attention to other areas of your life. You may discover you can play a mean guitar lick, or you can be a weekend warrior on the city basketball court. Remember when you were younger, like back in high school? The quarterback got the head cheerleader. Didn’t make any difference if the quarterback was great looking (though it seemed he always was), the thing that made him seem great looking was his status, and our belief that his status held merit and worth. It didn’t seem like he had to work real hard to get the best girl. Breaking the Seduction Code ©

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He probably didn’t. His belief system was such that he knew he was what women wanted and he was willing to deliver himself up to them just as accurately as he delivered the ball down the field. Women, or girls, were secondary to his first love – that piece of pig. And those girls loved him for it.

She Wants What Only You Can Give Her Women are still looking for quarterbacks. They are looking for men who have a passion in their lives and are not afraid of expressing it and living it. A man involved in his own life with passion and vigor speaks to a woman on a dimension that she may not even realize, but cannot help but react to.

Teri Tells: Women find this kind of confidence exhilarating! Don’t get me wrong – we want to feel like we are the main focus of your life, but not the ONLY focus of your life! If you are confident enough to have other interests, you will be more sought after.

If it is true, and I think it is, that the universe is designed for men and women to say yes to each other; and if it is also true, and I believe that it is, that we are meant to procreate and people the earth so we can survive, it seems to me that there are base, core requirements that men and women have on the deepest levels of our beings. No matter how much technology and women’s magazines try to get in the way of it, a woman feels that a man who has a strong passion for his life and goes after what he wants is someone she can feel safe with and someone who will provide for her and her offspring. She wants to be with the highest-ranking male in her sphere. Breaking the Seduction Code ©

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That’s a master seducer. That’s the guy who knows how to awaken those feelings in a woman prompting her to want to be with him and making it seem like it was her idea all along. She can only get that feeling from a man. She cannot recreate that feeling for herself because it’s the genetic code inside of her that’s meant to be matched by someone outside of her with the equal but opposite genetic code. As a man, you have that same thing. There’s something inside of you, part of your genetic makeup, that’s meant to be matched by someone else; you’re unable to create it for yourself. Think about a woman who has those soft, amazing, feminine qualities, and what it feels like to be around them. Think about her soft skin, her soft voice, and all the seductive features of a very feminine woman.

Now, how many times have you been able to feel that for yourself without a woman? As a master seducer, your training, skills, and techniques will enable you to experience women and let them experience you on the most basic level. You will have the ability to sense how they react to you, and you will have ability and the opportunity to react to them. And it’s because you understand how to reach them. I hope you get that, embrace it, and internalize it because when you do, you will begin to smoke most of the men out there and thereby increase your success rate just by being smarter than they are. Breaking the Seduction Code ©

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The Power of Being Yourself We talked earlier about the fear of failure. That’s one that’s easy to understand: none of us wants to admit defeat. Even as we realize we don’t always get what we want when we want it – we still want it nonetheless and would rather not have to deal with the inevitable circumstance of not being able to obtain it. That’s the base fear men have when they consider approaching a woman they want: they may not be able to obtain her. Perhaps it wouldn’t be so bad if it was a private thing. But the interaction of men and women are often held in public meeting places. He can hear his friends razzing him in his mind’s ear: “Man, she didn’t even give up the digits! She stopped you cold!” Men don’t like losing under the best of circumstances, but when we have our ego and public personas on the line, it’s enough to create fear. The higher the stakes, the more fearful we can become. Unless you’re a master seducer. Then, the higher the stakes, the more you have to get excited about. He already embraces the idea of who he is and the power he has within him and he knows there is no better road to success than the one that lets him be himself. He can have fun because he understands the magnetic pull of his passion for life, his willingness to explore possibilities, and the energy that radiates from him to the women he wants to meet.


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And He’ll Have Fun, Fun, Fun! He understands that on one level, it’s all a game. And it’s a game where there isn’t much to lose but much to gain. How much fun is that! It’s a lot of fun. What better game can there be than one that has minimal investment, but awesome returns? And if that return happens to be a night, week, or lifetime of great sex with a woman, don’t you think you want to incorporate some fun into your life? I should think you would! You can have fun alone, but some fun is better shared, and if you’re interested in having a woman share some fun with you, the first thing you have to do is make sure you both have a common idea of what that entails. After all, if what you consider fun is something she considers a silly waste of time, why spend any time with her? There are other women available who will be interested in things you want to do and vice versa – find them. Some women go for the men with power. You know, like the women who prefer the company of the biker or trucker, construction worker or a guy who likes to pick fights in bars. They stand by their men because within them is the genetic code that likes that kind of tough guy mentality, even if the guy’s a jerk. But the women that are the happiest are with men who can be tough, but also have a playful, fun side. Now, it isn’t wrong that there are some women who prefer the company of those so-called tough guys: a woman needs what she needs, and just like a woman who wants a man to have a more tender side, (which certainly the tough guy can have) when a woman has those feelings triggered within her she has a reaction that is as old and basic as the beginning of the world: she submits. Breaking the Seduction Code ©

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If there are any women reading this book, they may be gearing up to protest, but those who are in touch with their feelings know this to be true. And there’s nothing ‘submissive’ in the giving in. it’s not as if they lose their power. On the contrary, their power increases as they submit to the true feelings they have that are unencumbered by what society says she should feel, do, or believe. It’s the reason why submissiveness in a man is a turn-off to most women. A submissive man is taking over the role she wants to have. She doesn’t want to be the one who decides everything or does everything. She also may not want to wear pearls and vacuum the floor like June Cleaver or Donna Reed, but she wants to know that her man is a man. Her submission is in the form of her willingness to do what it takes to keep him happy. Women are better nurturers. Because they are the ones with the ability to have children, they have a natural and strong sense of caring. Fathers are important in society, but nothing has ever beat a mother’s love and the love of a good woman is something all men want to some degree and it’s because of that innate sense of how well a good woman will take care of your needs, both in bed and out. When a woman is willing to submit to making you happy, it’s a repayment for the woman you’ve awakened in her. It doesn’t matter if she’s the queen of the corporate world from nine to five; from five to nine, she’s the woman you’ve opened her up to being. I find that intoxicating. I understand the power I have to release that power in her. And I understand the power she has to make me feel grateful she’s giving it to me. To me, we are answering the call of the universe, of nature, and of God.


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A True Story I met three women from Great Britain at a seminar I was attending and made the mistake of sharing with them my ideas on energy and how it could be used in seduction. They didn’t buy it and insisted I prove it. One day during the seminar, I sat in the back of the room with the three of them all sitting in front of me. I took them one by one, and channeled my energy towards them. Every single time, they would sense it, turn and look at me, and I would wink at them so they would know I was working my magic. I sent different messages to them, and they were able to tell me exactly what I was thinking for each message I was sending. It was a great deal of fun. It was also a case of turnabout being fair play because they did the same thing to me, including one of them, whom I wasn’t interested in, using it to seduce me. Three girls, at one time, under any circumstance, is a fantasy for almost every man, and a certain distraction for me that day. The exercise taught me several things. First, women are far more sensitive and intuitive to a man’s energy than I previously thought. Perhaps it shouldn’t have been so surprising that they can pick up on a seductive message since they can read fear and nervousness so easily. The second thing is they don’t let you know when they can read it when you’re sending them those messages. They will definitely pick up on your nervous cues and let you know that they know – they aren’t, however, as quick to let you know that they have read your seduction cues!


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WARNING: I told those three women the secret to the power of seduction and they used it against me. I am advising you never give this secret to the women in your life, because they will find a way to use it to their advantage and they have enough power as it is. Samson should have never mentioned his hair to Delilah – he would have been a happier man.

The External Power You aren’t going to have a real discussion on seduction and the power men possess unless you have discussion on the external power: appearance and dress. Personally, I don’t embrace the theories, but there’s no denying that it works for some men. For whatever reason, women like shopping. There are some who don’t, of course, but we know a great many of them do, and they like to do it together. They get as excited about that as men do gathering around the engine of a car and figuring out how it works. Women love it and it’s not just about buying. They can be gone for hours and walk back in the house with no bags and still claim they’ve been shopping because they looked in all the stores. Whatever. If you can learn to tap into their love of shopping or looking, then you discovered another avenue to getting them in your bed. If she likes looking, and if she likes buying, then presenting yourself as something good to look at and as something she can take home, may be a pathway to her seduction.


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If women get that excited about looking at clothing, then if you are wearing some decent threads, it’s bound to trigger a feeling in them that adds to their desire for you. It sure can’t hurt. It is about aligning all these qualities in yourself and giving yourself the highest odds of achieving the stimulation of her attraction.

Teri Tells: Like Mark, I don’t agree with a lot of the “exterior quality” theories that are out there. However, I do have to admit that nice clothes may catch my eye. I want to see more than fine clothes, however, if I plan to take you home. Remember, we are window shoppers and can come home feeling like we’ve been shopping without buying a thing. Only those things worth our money come home with us!

Most of the master seducers I know love to buy clothing for themselves that improves their appearance. It’s a simple concept voiced by Billy Crystal when he played his Fernando character: “Darling, when you look good, you feel good!” When you feel better about how you’re dressed, it becomes another tool that can be used to attract the attention of those you wish to bring into your life. Some women will make the correlation that a man who knows how to dress himself with style will also be able to pick out clothing or jewelry that will look good on her. I know one master seducer who picks out his women’s clothing, and they love it. He actually does a better job picking out what they are wearing than they do themselves. Not only that, but he loves to take them shopping. He uses shopping with women to give the implied message and direct message that he is a man of taste. And just like the old ZZ Top song says, “every woman loves a sharp dressed man.”


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When I go out with my friend and I see the reactions he gets from women who know the quality of clothing is wearing, it is incredible. And he uses the feelings from how excited women get about what he’s wearing, and adds that to his confidence about how well he is able to make them feel. Now, this guy spends real money on his clothes; not something we can all afford to do. If your budget doesn’t allow you to go to a designer, there are some very nice affordable stores that can make you look good for very little money. In the meantime, until you can afford a completely designer closet, have at least one or two items you can work with. Men have the expectation that a woman who takes care of her appearance is more worthy of our attention, and they are the women who scare us the most when we see them in public. It follows that a woman appreciates it when she sees a man who takes care of himself and dresses well. It’s an indication of how well he would take care of her and his ability to give her beautiful children should they mate. It’s answering another buried call of nature. I know one master seducer from Florida who goes to Las Vegas once a year and spends about 13 to $15,000 every time he goes. He buys things that not only look good on him, but he makes sure that they are unique to him. He buys things, he told me, that women won’t see on any other man. The clothing is unique to him. He says there might be a few other men out there wearing it, but the chances of her seeing it on other man are very slim. He does the same thing with the shoes, watches, rings, sunglasses etc. etc. I went out with him one night after he had gotten back with some new clothing that he was really excited about. It was amazing to see how the women


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responded to what he was wearing. They were transfixed. Some of them were like a deer in the headlights of a car at night.

The External Drawback We’re all visual; we all react to what we see. It’s our most immediate sense. Men tend to stay with visual, while women enjoy visual and will give some points for it, but women want him to bring something else to the table. And there is a downside to an external way of life that feeds the internal desires. Do you know men who always have to have the newest or latest whatever? It could be a house, car, electronic gadget, or even companion. They are always on a quest for better or more. Forget the Joneses, they’re trying to keep up with themselves. They get used to what they’re having and the fix of it being something new dries up and they have to renew the feeling by getting new stuff. These men confuse these things as the source of their power. People admire how they dress, or the furniture in the dining room, and even the pedigree of the dog, and they think if they didn’t have any of these things, they wouldn’t possess any power. Because they believe they have to have these things in order to define who they are, these things are stronger than their ability to cope. Because of that, they submit to these things and seek pleasure and comfort in their possession. These are men who don’t get it. They rely on the external to make them feel better, all the while having to feed the increasing anxiety and emptiness after they come down from the high. Anxiety and emptiness can cause fear. Fear, because of the energy it produces, cannot be contained unless there’s an Breaking the Seduction Code ©

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answering internal confidence to take its place. If there isn’t, fear reigns. It comes out to a point where a woman can sense it, and the man’s forward progression comes to a screeching halt. Fear isn’t attractive; indeed it’s detracting. It causes us to go into fight or flight mode and certainly if you want to seduce a woman, you want her neither to fight you nor flee from you. Your internal power must be greater than the external because the external is so subject to perception. You need to have the strength of character and the presence of mind to recognize these feelings and processes, so you can exact a change when necessary. A master seducer owns his reality. He stands steadily in who he is, even if who he is changes. That is true because the chances are excellent that any changes made are made on his say-so and no one else’s. He makes the decision about how to change, why to change, and for whom. When a rich man, who does not have this internal power, loses what he has on the external, he no longer has an identity. That’s why you hear about so many men going nuts and killing themselves. The same is true for other people when they lose their identity, which to them is their job, or their money, or their possessions, or their status. The master seducer knows differently and acts differently. And this power doesn’t stay just in the area of seduction but in more serious aspects of life and survival. Victor Frankel, the author of “A Man’s Search for Meaning,” was a prisoner in the concentration camps. Breaking the Seduction Code ©

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All around him, people were taken away to be killed and he said they had come to a place in their mind that it was their fate and there was nothing be done about it. But Frankel felt differently. He decided he would hold onto what was his internally and not give it over to his captors. He did not accept his destruction as his destiny and therefore did not wait on it. He lived to write his book. You should read it.

How To Train A Flea It’s not hard to determine factors that cause us, as men, to be afraid of women and go into submissive mode. Remember, women are the nurturers. Our first intimate contact is with a woman, and that woman, after a nurse, is our mother. She takes us in her arms at birth and from that moment on, her influence runs steadily in our lives. Have you heard the story about how to train a flea? I heard different people tell the story, and the common denominator is how to train a flea to jump a certain height. They say if you put a flea in a Mason jar without the lid on it, the flea can easily jump out. But if you put a flea in a Mason jar and then put the lid on it, the flea will bounce off the lid. Then a funny thing happens after awhile. When you look in the Mason jar, you can see the flea jumping to a height just below the lid of the jar. When you take the lid off the jar, you don’t ever have to put it back on because the flea has now been trained and will never try to jump again to the level it was created to jump. The flea now believes and has been conditioned to a new level, BELOW, its abilities.


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I think there are women who do this. There are women who work to define men within certain boundaries. It makes no difference if you have more abilities, or gifts, she wants to maintain you at a certain level and will work to do so. It starts at an early age and if there’s not a strong man around to counter that conditioning, then I believe men will be inclined to accept this conditioning as truth.

Teri Tells: I wanted to jump in here and let you know that men know how to train fleas, too! Women don’t like it any more than men when they are defined within certain boundaries and not allowed to grow or be themselves!! I believe over the last 30 or 40 years, all the single mothers raising young men, have not been able to give the men what they need to complete their manhood. You add on top of that the feminist movements, male bashing on television and media, and the feminist judges, both male and female, and you will see that they have also contributed to this mess. There’s another way women condition men. It goes in the opposite direction but has the same effect. There is a theory that mothers raise their daughters and love their sons. So when a boy becomes a man, he has an unrealistic idea that he is entitled to care from and by a woman simply because he exists. Because his mother and possibly, grandmother and sisters, have nurtured and taken care of him from birth without effort on his part, he believes all women will and should do the same. He never learns the maleness of pursuit and gaining a woman’s respect, trust, and love. He’s also the guy that never learns how to fully take care of himself. He may not fear women, but he makes women fearful of him because


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women don’t look to sleep with children unless they, too, are just a child. Women want men, and men are not “Mama’s boys.” Don’t mistake that for being a man who cares about his mother. Most women love a man who takes good care of his mama. In fact, she knows how to spot a guy like that from twenty paces. If you’re a guy who knows how to take care of the first lady in your life when that lady is your mother, she figures you know how to take care of the first lady in your life when it’s her. And as a man, you should take care of your woman. This isn’t a book about putting women in their place; it’s a book that allows you to let a woman place herself where she wants, with you. You should also take care of yourself. You should know how to rely upon yourself. How to be alone as opposed to being lonely. You should know how to work a washing machine and a toaster. That’s why this book is being written; to show you that where I was, is where you are, and where I am, is where you can be. My experience from watching master seducers; my years doing therapy and training, continues to shape my life and I am able to leave breadcrumbs for you to follow. I could spend all day, or the rest of my life, trying to figure out the whys and reasons for the way we got to where we are but I’m but not going to. Or I could spend an enormous amount of time, like I have in the past, blaming the women that contributed to me being that way. I could take the attitude that what they did controls my behavior, but that doesn’t put me in charge of my choices. I have forgiven them and moved on.


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And the control goes to my past. My past memories and thoughts will maintain control over my present behavior. Frankel believed it was the power of his will that contributed to his survival of the concentration camp. It would require a powerful spirit to overcome the atrocity that surrounded him. But he maintained control over his fears, anxieties, and the realities that people around him were being executed every day. It seems silly to compare what he went through with the subject of his book, but remember we told you there was more than one way to apply what you would learn. The point is being able to control your own power after you’ve claimed it. Don’t act like a victim. If you think the power to choose and to change is not within you, it’s isn’t because someone took it away. They may have tried, but you allowed it to happen. And all you have to do is decide to take it back. The power is, as it always has been, yours. Now that you know this: it’s time to choose. You can choose to go back to sleep again, and blame it all on your external circumstances, or you can choose to put a different, positive meaning on your choices.

So, what’s it gonna be? Choose now, to be a master seducer!


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As stated before, master seducers have learned to overcome the problems most of us are still stuck on. We’re going to talk about the walls we have that master seducers have managed to pull down.

Fear of Sexual Disclosure We live in a society that is afraid of sexual disclosure – which is ironic considering we’re also in a society that places a great deal of emphasis on sex and uses it to sell everything from cars to window cleaners. On the one hand, we make it quite clear that sexiness is desirable, but express it too much or too independently from the norm, and you’re labeled a deviant. We like it when women we don’t know dress in provocative ways, but we don’t like it when the women we date dress provocatively precisely because that’s one of the reasons we were attracted. We have sexual thoughts about women, but we don’t often want to admit it; and we especially don’t want to let them in on it, though they accuse us of having them anyway. And we sometimes feel guilty about those thoughts. I used to be so afraid women would find out what was going on inside my head because it was sexual. I thought they would call me a pervert and mentally stone me for thoughts that entered my head before I even knew they were there. Breaking the Seduction Code © © 2005, Mark J. Ryan, All Rights Reserved www.SeductionCode.com Contact Mark at [email protected]

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We do a remarkable job in this country making sex confusing. The women in my family, the Catholic Church, and teachers at school were telling me in one form or another that sex was bad. But that was countered with televisions, movies, and MTV who all said sex was…well…sexy. But the home training won out, so there I was with all the sexual feelings that made me a man and a human being, and I would get near a woman and the fear would ooze out of my pores like sweat on an August day.

Dirty Young Men I actually used to think, that if I was able to keep those thoughts suppressed, and be a nice boy, or a nice man, that women would be attracted to me. I actually believed that I would be rewarded with sex by not thinking about it. Because sex was the most taboo subject there could be and because adults treated it with such disgust and reverence, I was totally confused about how I was supposed to think about it.

Teri Tells: Just an FYI – women don’t know how to think or talk about this subject either! They have many of the same feelings and thoughts as men and have just as much confusion about it!

And then I discovered I was neither unique nor alone. There were other men who were having the same conflict. Some had resolved it and some were still dealing with the remnants of how they were raised.


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I bet you’re thinking a master seducer revels in those thoughts and lets them run free and unchained in his mind. No. He doesn’t. I’ve modeled and talked with many master seducers and those thoughts do enter his mind - he is human after all - but they aren’t unfettered. They are acknowledged and then put away. That’s right. He makes the decision not to let those sexual thoughts rule his head, body, or behavior. He doesn’t fight them. He doesn’t struggle with the right or wrong of them. They are what they are. He knows they are there, and he decides to push them aside to concentrate on getting to know the woman he’s with. He has the confidence to do this because he knows they don’t have to go very far. After all, if he’s successful in seducing the woman, those thoughts are going to come in handy in creative and pleasurable ways. He just understands the need of putting first things first. When the seducers would sense that the woman was feeling an attraction towards them, they would increase their feeling of sexuality inside their body, a little bit, and at the same time start to play ‘hard to get’ with the woman. Now think about that. When have you seen that kind of thing happen before? That is exactly what women do when they start to feel sexual attraction. When the feelings in their body increase, the playing “hard to get’ pattern emerges. Now, if the man is playing that part, which a woman normally plays, the woman, who loves to role play, gets to play the role of a man and become aggressive. Read this again until you get it.


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The master seducer is creating an environment, a context, for the woman to be the aggressor, like a man, with her sexual feelings. She doesn’t have to back down. He gives her plenty of room to play. It is a new and exciting roller coaster ride for the woman and she takes the bait. Women absolutely love to be aggressive with their attraction toward the master seducer knowing that at the peak of the experience she can submit to the master seducer when he is ready. If you think that is far out, then go read some romance novels. You will find this to be a common theme in those books and in women’s fantasies. I will talk more about this later.

Are you willing to do the practice required to have an endless supply of romance and women attracted to you for the rest of your life? Only you can make that decision. It’s your choice. I can give you the tools, but I can’t make you do it, and I don’t want to make you do it either. I want it to be your choice. If you decide to think about, you’ve made a choice. If you decide it would be nice and you’ll work on it right after you’ve (fill in the blank), you’ve made a choice. No matter what you do, or don’t do, you’ve made a choice. It’s like in baseball when the batter hits the ball to an infielder and he should charge the ball, but he doesn’t. He decides to sit back. It’s those times, when he should charge that he doesn’t that the ball plays him. It could take funny hop, it could suddenly die in the dirt. Either way, he can’t make the play. He gets charged with an error and the opposition is on a base where he would not be, had the player made his move. The same thing applies to you. Charge the ball or not, there’s still a play to be made and it will be made by you or by someone else. If not you, you’ll look over Breaking the Seduction Code ©

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at that woman you find interesting and see her at first base with someone who’s not you. Your error. But your choice.

The Power of Adjustment and Acceptance The master seducer also knows how to live his own life – and dating is a part of it, but he understands it’s not the “be all end all.” Don’t misunderstand what we’re saying. He wants women. He wants to sleep with them, and he wants to be with them – but there are terms and limits he imposes on himself that those who are no so fortunate in the romance department fail to do. For one thing, non-seducers try to impress women by being who and what they are not. We’ve said this before: one of the quickest ways to turn off a woman is to pretend to be someone else, instead of pretending in a way that makes you more of who you really are. A real jerk has a better chance of getting a sexy woman to sleep with him than the nice guy trying to be a jerk because he heard women are attracted to ‘bad’ boys. The master seducer accepts who he is and he can make adjustments to meet the needs of women while staying true to himself. That means if he is a man without a lot of money, he doesn’t spend the rent money taking a woman out to dinner – instead he accepts his financial limitations and adjusts by finding a less expensive, but romantic, way to make a nice evening for his lady.


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The Power of Happy Because the master seducer knows how to accept who he is, he is free to pursue happiness right along with pursuing women, and because he holds no preoccupation with the fairer sex, they are free to like him for who he is. That doesn’t mean if he’s in a low paying job that he will stay there for the rest of his life. It doesn’t mean if the car he’s driving is more than two years old, he‘s destined to drive it until it’s a clunker. The master seducer doesn’t settle. He understands change is around the corner because he creates change. He knows things can change at any minute, and he knows he can handle it. He is in love with life and he makes it work for him. I suspect you would like to see a good example right about now. Well, one of the best examples of how a man makes the changes that allows him to embrace his life can be found in the movie Groundhog Day.

Groundhog Day Groundhog Day is about a news reporter, Bill Murray, who is bored with his job, who is bored with his life, and has to go on an assignment to a little town outside of Pittsburgh called Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania. February 2 is Ground Hog Day. People get together for the festivities and news people from all over the country are there to observe and watch to see if the Groundhog sees his shadow. Bill Murray’s character, Phil, is there to report on it. He is not very thrilled about the job and cannot wait to get out of there. But there is a big snowstorm coming, and he gets stuck there for the night. Breaking the Seduction Code ©

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A funny thing happens when he wakes up the next day; it is Groundhog Day all over again, but no one else can remember. He has to live the day all over again. So he lives the day out and when he wakes up the next day, it is Groundhog Day again. Well it continues to be Groundhog Day many times, and he begins to remember the events of the day and its happenings perfectly. So he starts to use the information he learns to try to pick up and seduce the woman on his news team, Rita, played by Andie MacDowell. He tries to impress her with his psychic abilities. He finds out little bits and pieces about her - what she likes, what she doesn’t like, and then repeats it back to her; using her own knowledge against her, trying to seduce her. He gets pretty close many times, but she senses something’s not right, and she doesn’t give in. After a while, he stops trying, and gets depressed, tries to kill himself, or just stays in bed realizing that no matter what, it’s always Groundhog Day. He’s stuck there. Finally, he changes his attitude from pity to acceptance. He decides, little by little, to make the best of it. He takes advantage of all the opportunities before him to see a silver lining and make the days better for him. He begins to take joy in waking up everyday and finding new and improved ways to help other people and to make himself a better person. When he takes up that mentality, that he can add value to people’s lives, he begins to feel better.


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When he starts to develop new skills, like playing the piano, and learning how to be nice to people, and he sees the response that he gets, he starts to become happy. He starts to look at life as an opportunity to give of himself. And the byproduct is that his confidence, humor, and goodwill all are taking an active part. He starts to exemplify the traits of a master seducer. He is alive and full of life, and he is giving life. It extends from his very being and people want to be around his outgoing energy - including Rita. He is having so much fun living life that she begins to be attracted to him. In the end, he gets the girl, but more importantly he gets himself. Even if you saw this movie yesterday, watch it again knowing what you know now.

Rewrite Your Movie That’s the lesson I want you to take away from the movie and from this book. Yes, the techniques you’ll learn here can help you get women, but they can also help you get so much more. And everything you gain in your life, each mountain you climb, and challenge you conquer, is enhanced by your ability to share it with a woman who wants nothing more than to be with you. It’s worth the effort to rewrite the script of your life to reflect whatever type of movie you enjoy: adventure, western, hi-tech. No matter how you imagine yourself when you’re dreaming about the ultimate you, you can make it happen. Believe!


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We know fear is the biggest block to your success with women. That fear causes you to hesitate, and he who hesitates is lost. I want to spend some time talking about fear and hesitation so we can help alleviate it as an option for you.

Stars and Gods Did you ever notice that when women talk about movie stars or celebrities, they give the celebrities qualities that they really don’t have? They kind of automatically attach Godlike qualities to them. It’s kind of like the celebrities don’t have all the qualities they would need to be worshipped, so women add those qualities to them. Men are not exempt from this. As a matter of fact when it comes to sports stars, and to lesser extent movie stars, we do the same thing. We make heroes out of people who toss a ball through a hoop. When it comes to beautiful women, men can really go overboard. Sometimes we assign qualities to beautiful women that are simply far, far from reality. As a matter of fact, the beautiful woman may be the complete opposite (a demon in the flesh). Nonetheless, we shroud them with this illusion so that we have something to worship. We put the star quality on beautiful women. And what is the problem with this? In our minds, we don’t believe it is possible for us to attain the star (our imposed illusion) or this Goddess. We set the bar way, Breaking the Seduction Code ©

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80 way, too high, for ourselves. But we sure think it will be a lot of fun (and a huge boost to our self-esteem) if we can make it happen. It seems odd that we would purposely set the bar too high for our attainment; however, we do it for self-esteem purposes. We believe at a deep unconscious level, that if this Goddess – the woman we have given Goddess status to – falls for us – by being in love or simply desiring us – then we must be OK. In fact, we must be better than OK. In fact, we must have a God status of our own – why else would a Goddess choose us? It comes down again, to needing something external to be happy or complete. We begin to think we NEED her Goddess qualities to be a whole man – a real man. In the meantime, we forget that we are the ones that gave her that status in the first place!! We are the “mystery man” who gave her those qualities we think we need. There is no doubt that we are the culprits of our own mess. This behavior has been going on for centuries. It is the behavior that Kings and Queens, presidents and people in power, have played on for thousands of years. Advertisers also know about this part of your mind and your “external” needs and play on them continuously. They set you up for this impossible standard (being good enough to catch a Goddess), like losing 30 lbs. in 30 days. Just thinking about losing 30 lbs. in 30 days can create a feeling of excitement, and also fits into the lazy part of the mind that wants an extreme payoff for very little effort. So we fall for it. We all do it. No one is exempt. Our nature is to want the biggest payoff for the smallest effort. But in the context of seduction, the gap between who you think you are, and who you think she is, based on the star quality and Goddess quality that you have just Breaking the Seduction Code ©

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81 given her, is too big of a gap to fill. It is too big of a jump for the brain to make. It is like saying you are going to run a 4 minute mile next week even though you are currently an over weight couch potato. And it is not just about seduction. We do it with work, with our children, and with life in general. And a part of our brain knows it. And knowing that we are creating external things to buoy us up actually lowers our self-esteem. Think about a little kid that says he is going to run a 4-minute mile next week and break a world record. Well, we want to believe he can do it, but a part of us knows he cannot do it because he doesn’t have the attributes to do it yet. Well, our brains have a part that knows we cannot do what we set out to do because we do not have the attributes yet. And without the attributes, there is a gap that cannot be filled. And without filling that gap, you do not take action. Somewhere in your head, your brain is saying to itself, something like, “here goes Johnny again setting himself up with Grand delusions.” Instead of looking through a clear pane glass in a window, we put all kinds of designs and colors and different things onto the clear glass. This way, we think we can add to the picture, but are actually subtracting from reality. What happens after a period of time is that we put more emphasis and weight, on what we have painted and / or ADDED onto the pane of glass, and we begin to believe our own corruption of the glass? We begin to believe it came that way originally. We forget we did it and respond as if it was put on from the outside. We act on that image that we have created instead of the one that really exists. We’re not Breaking the Seduction Code ©

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82 seeing her for who she really is, and if we did see her for who she really is, we might, and probably would, treat her in an entirely different way.

What we are doing is judging in advance of the facts. How can we do that to ourselves???

When Reality Smashes Into Your Illusions Just imagine that you see this beautiful car and you decide that you want it. You only have seen it from the outside, and you have never driven it or even started up the engine. In your imagination, you decided what a great engine it has in it, and how comfortable it is going to be to sit in and drive. You imagine what the interior looks like and how beautiful it looks, etc. etc. You have created an illusion of what you think the car really is. Now imagine that you buy the car based only on the fact that you saw the car in the picture. At this point you have invested all kinds of money, you’ve invested time, and you invested emotional energy. When you go to pick up the car, you find out that the car is only an empty shell. That the only thing left of the car is the outer body of the car. The reality of the car and the illusion of the car are two different things. And the thoughts and behaviors you have under those two circumstances are entirely different. If you have a belief that says you have to be happy no matter what happens, the part of you mind that creates illusions creates a beautiful car out of an empty shell, but only in your mind. Why? When illusion and reality meet, it creates an emotional discordance that needs to be fixed. If you must be in a happy state Breaking the Seduction Code © 82 – © 2005, Mark J. Ryan, All Rights Reserved www.SeductionCode.com Contact Mark at [email protected]

83 and are not, the part of you that creates Emotional Discordance:

illusions gets really busy putting together another illusion so that you can be happy. The

The state or an instance of

truth of the matter is that this “illusion making”

disagreement between illusion

is really just setting you up for more discordant

and reality

emotions when reality once again meets illusion. I used to sell cars and this is something used-car sales people take advantage of all the time. That is the main reason that they implemented the “lemon law” where you can take a bad car back to dealer for a new one in a designated period of time if it has too many problems. They knew most people were too lazy to take the time to find out about the mechanics, and real qualities of that specific vehicle before they bought it. It is the exact same way that men deal with women – as though they were buying a car. Most men look at beautiful women and think to themselves that the external quality alone is good enough - without knowing any of her real attributes. That kind of mentality has cost me tens of thousands of dollars, much heartbreak, much anger etc. etc. And the thing about women – there are no lemon laws to protect you! My problem used to be that I would give women complete trust based on their beauty alone. I would build an illusion for them, without any help from them, and that put me at a huge disadvantage. I granted them Goddess status and with Goddess status came the following beliefs: •

A Goddess never lies

•

A Goddess never steals


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84 •

A Goddess never cheats

•

Etc, etc, etc

Boy was I in for a big wake up call!!! A “Goddess” created by me in my own little fantasy world can do all of those things because she is not really a Goddess at all. I realize that any lying or cheating or stealing that fell my way due to illusionary Goddesses was my own damn fault. Instead of granting a woman Goddess status, I should have checked into who she really was, what her belief systems were, and what her values were. If I had spent more time on that part of the equation, I would have saved myself a lot of headaches. Hopefully you are going to benefit from my and others learning curves on seduction, and you can save much trouble for yourself.

Teri Tells: Goddess status isn’t all it’s cracked up to be for the women either. We feel like we have way too much expected of us based on our looks or the Goddess status you men have given us.

Just imagine if someone believed that you could do some quantum mathematics and you never took a math class. Most people would feel pressure from knowing that they cannot do it. Others might take advantage of you thinking that way. That is one of the reasons that women don’t like dating or being romantically involved with nice guys. Inside of themselves they know they are not worthy of the pedestal you are putting them on. They know sooner or later you will begin to see who they really are and they don’t want to go through that disappointment. Women realize that when the Goddess illusion meets the woman reality, the man Breaking the Seduction Code ©

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85 who created the illusion in the first place is likely to be very hurt, very angry or both. Either way they don’t want to deal with it so they avoid it from the beginning. Remember guys, women have been through this behavior from men many, many times and even talk about this aspect of guys with other women all the time. They know what’s down the line when dealing with the “nice guy” mentality. This is when the women pull out the “lets just be friends routine” or any other routine to get away from you romantically. It is big red flag territory for them. Now there are many women out there that might be called gold-diggers and willingly take advantage of this “glitch” in a man’s thinking. They know that if they play this part – Goddess - very well that they can bleed you out of about everything you have – money, cars, diamonds, and even your self-esteem. If you don’t create the illusion, the gold-digger will have nothing to use against you. When you are asking women questions about who they really are, the ones that are planning to “dig for gold” will soon figure out that you are onto their game, and they will usually get out of the picture, or better yet, YOU will get them out of YOUR picture. Most women will appreciate it if you don’t create the Goddess illusion. They will like it even more if you really try to get to know them by asking questions. That happens so rarely, that just the questioning process alone will keep the door open for you. They will be intrigued and interested by your interest in them.


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86 It’s a different kind of ATTENTION for them. It’s new. And women like new things. It also shows them that you have CONTROL about what you want in your life, and that you were willing to be selective about the process. That turns women on! Besides showing attention in a way that is different from the other guys, you also stir up a desire in them to show you some of their other qualities – the ones that go far beyond looks. You bring them into a COMPETITIVE frame of mind and women love to compete in that arena - the arena of SEDUCTION!

Challenge: A test of one's abilities or resources in a

You also bring up in them the idea of the challenge.

demanding but

All of their lives they have believed in a challenge

stimulating undertaking

as something that is exciting. If you think about it, it causes them to bring out the best qualities in themselves. When they “rest on their laurels” of beauty only, they don’t have to do anything. There is no challenge in that; they are just sitting around being beautiful. Sitting around looking good does not challenge them to bring out any finer qualities that they may have. And if they have spent any amount of time developing or practicing other qualities, other than their looks, and they grew up believing that they would need them to sway the man of their dreams, and you don’t give them a chance to use it, you are not challenge. They have been waiting since they were a little girl to be challenged by a man, and they want to test their skills. The more women are challenged the better they become at being multidimensional. It is the same for men in the arena of sports. We need competition to get better at what we do.


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87 If I am around somebody that brings out my finer qualities, I want to be around them more. It is the same thing for women when they are around you. You want to create an arena that challenges them to bring out their best qualities so that they want to be near you. And if you recognize those qualities, especially while she is in the process of doing them, you score many bonus points. You also create another desire in them to practice more and more, on you. This can be a very good thing! In a sense you are waking her up, from her sleep, and giving her a reason to feel ALIVE again.

My 21-year-old nephew has learned this lesson very well. He is a great-looking kid, with an athletic figure. So he gets many beautiful women naturally. He has shown me some of the pictures of the women he has dated at college. It looked like a portfolio from a modeling agency. He said to me that they were all a pain in his ass. And that he dumped every one of them. He said the funny thing is, the more women he dumps, the more they (and other women) get interested in him because they think they can do better than the last girl (competition again!). His filtering process has served him well because now he finally has a steady girl, who is not only beautiful, and a sweetheart, she has the whole package.


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88 When I started to model him, I asked him about what he did to have so many beautiful women chasing him. I said it was probably his looks first, and he disagreed with me. He said many of his friends were good-looking guys but had a lot of problems picking up girls. So I asked him what he thought it was. He said, “Believe it or not I think it is the fact that I don’t take any crap from them.” He said he picked up more women by telling them how much of a phony he thought they were. I asked him how exactly he told them that. Kevin is naturally cocky. He said he smiles at them, and listens to them, and lets them get deeper with their B.S…Then instead of answering or responding in a way that most nice guys would, he says to them, with a smile and a chuckle and cocky attitude, how full of crap he thinks they are and he’s not going for their B.S. He tells them he can see right through them and that they are putting on an act and he knows it. He then tells them, why don’t you just be yourself and stop acting like a stuck up bitch or a phony. I asked him if he did really do that. He said, “All the time.” He said, “I really can’t stand it when they act like that. So why would I want to waste any time dealing with it. If she keeps going on with the B.S. then I just walk away.” Kevin says a funny thing happens most of the time when he does it. He said most of girls begin to talk to him like he’s a psychic or psychologist and ask him, Breaking the Seduction Code ©

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89 what does he really see in them. And how did he see that in them. He said he thinks that most women know they’re full of B.S., and are dying for a man to tell them that he can see her illusion. Kevin says he thinks that most women hate being that way, (phony and fake), that they really can’t stand being that way, but because of society and the media and men, they think they have to be that way. He said he notices that the more men kiss a woman’s ass, the more likely she is to leave in the end, so why would he engage in behavior that goes against what he’s trying to do. He said, believe it or not, women want to know how much of their mask people really see. He says he gives them a little bit of information and then makes them beg for more. He said it makes them want me more. He is increasing their response potential and building the desire mechanism in them. So as I thought about that a little bit, I realized he was bursting the bubble (illusion) that they didn’t want anyway. And if the women who still had a vested interest in the illusion still wanted to play the game, he dropped them like a hot potato. He would not play. But, if they wanted to be real and acknowledged the game, he was then willing to play a different game with them. It was his game now. And he wanted to know if they wanted to play. He said he really didn’t treat them much differently than he would treat a guy. He said that if the woman was going to be around me for a while, I might as well


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90 have one that I can be friends with and joke around with, without getting too serious. He said many of the girls that he had dumped; he dumped because they kept trying to play the other game. And he was not going to play; he was not going to take their bait. He also said that most of his friends were having the exact opposite happening to them. He said the women were dumping most of his good-looking friends. He said most of them were being led around on a leash, like a dog. He said he thought that the women got bored playing the same old game that they play with every other man. Kevin makes them pull their own weight. He lets them know right away that he is not going to carry them like most other men will. Kevin also makes fun of the men that do kiss women’s asses. He separates himself from the other men, in her mind, immediately. He creates a contrast between himself and other men that stand out. Kevin is way further ahead in this game than I was at 21. Of course, I didn’t have the sheer volume of women knocking at my door like he does to be able to learn all these lessons so quickly.

One of the great things about being able to model seducers is that seducers go through so many women that they have to develop the skills very quickly. They get to know the qualities and games of women. If they didn’t change their behavior, they would have gotten stuck, like most other men do. Breaking the Seduction Code ©

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But they change their behavior. They were not afraid, and they learned the lessons that can now be passed on to you. So what Kevin really did was to burst that star quality right at the beginning. Not only did he burst it in his mind, but in women’s as well. He put the women in unfamiliar territory. They never had to play any other game before. And it put him in total control of himself and the new game. It was his game or no game at all. Deep down inside, women really do want to be themselves. It takes a lot of energy to put on a mask and play a part all the time. So the new game Kevin creates gives women a chance to be who they are around him.

Teri Tells: I don’t know about you but I am sure like being around people who let me be more of myself.

What if on the inside the beautiful woman really feels ugly or worthless? They may feel this way because of the big gap between who they are perceived to be and who they feel they are. If you widen the gap too much on them, they feel ugly inside because they know they cannot fill your illusionary thoughts about them. If we put the weight of this illusion on their backs, and expect them to fill it, and they know how badly they may feel about themselves inside, it is an unrealistic burden on them. Breaking the Seduction Code ©

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We want to get closer to recognizing how they see themselves, and how their friends see them. And even the range of comfort for them.

Just imagine if you are wearing a professional baseball suit and based on that reason alone, you got drafted to the major leagues and everybody treated you like you were really a pro ball player, but you really knew you couldn’t even play baseball.

How would that make you feel? How would being treated like you deserved the recognition, while on the inside you knew differently, make you feel? Well, you might go around for a while bragging about it and playing the part. But when it came time to play ball, I think you would find a way to get sick pretty fast, or find a way out of this situation, as soon as possible. That is an analogy that parallels what women feel when we put the star and Goddess qualities on to them. But then imagine if somebody came to you and said, “Hey, look, I know that you are wearing a major-league baseball uniform, and I also know there’s no way that you’re a major-league baseball player. And I am ok with who you are as long as you don’t keep trying to convince me that you really are a professional baseball player.” It may not make you feel good at first because you’ve been found out, Breaking the Seduction Code ©

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93 but I’m sure that there would be a release and a relief of knowing that you wouldn’t have to play that part, at least in front of that person. What you are effectively doing is taking the burden of the illusion off of them. Some women will get pissed off when you reveal that you know, But most women will be relieved. Either way, chances are whatever response you get, they will want to get to know more about you, and why you think that way. But let’s not believe that you are stopping the Goddess illusion just for women. You are also doing it for yourself! Do you really want to keep up the maintenance of the woman that wants to keep playing that role? That is what is meant by a highmaintenance woman. She requires a lot of attention to keep her illusion going. And you better be doing a good job, or she may find someone else who will do the job for you. Another interesting thing happens in the process that is good for you. When you tell it like it is and let them know you can see right through them, they begin to put that “star quality” or “God quality” onto you. Because you saw through them, you must have some pretty amazing qualities yourself. So you start to become the star. Any man who can expose them must be pretty God-like if they were a Goddess.

WARNING: Now what I am about to tell you is pretty powerful. So use it with caution. There’s another part to this equation. Breaking the Seduction Code ©

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94 Once you burst that bubble, they are in very unfamiliar territory. At that point you can say they are in a kind of trance (hypnosis). And the place in their mind that they are closest to at this point is where they were mentally and emotionally before they began to build their bubble. What I’m saying is that sitting right below the surface is the little girl they were before they built the bubble. When we pull out the roots of something, we are exposing the ground that the Illusion was built on. She can be very vulnerable. If you begin to talk to them and reveal to them that you know about this, that you know about this little girl, and talk to the little girl in her, and let their little girl inside them know that it is safe for them to come out, then they are in a state of mind like clay is to a potter. Be very careful at this point because you could do her some real damage, and cause her to build even higher walls, and bigger defenses, and you will not get to experience that wonderful part of herself. If you can begin to coax that little girl out of her, you will have much more fun, and a lot less trouble.

Think about what attitude you want to deal with. Do you want to deal with the high maintenance bitch or the little girl in her that likes fun and adventure and is much more trusting?

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95 Can you begin to see how your self-esteem and your self-image goes way up when you know that you have the ability to give to women something that most other men do not understand? Just knowing that you have exclusive and secret information about women can boost your confidence. And if you notice, most of the qualities of the master seducer are about giving - in one way or another. When you give, it requires action, doing, and taking charge. It is an outwards motion. It is output, like electricity. It’s not about waiting for things to happen. It’s about making things happen. The universe blesses those that make things happen by giving. And you will also notice in the story of my nephew, Kevin, that he wasn’t afraid and didn’t care if they left him or if they didn’t like it. To him, it wasn’t a big loss because he looked at it as something that they were losing or missing. He knew he had something powerful to give them. Himself! Most men are so afraid that this one woman may be his only shot. They don’t look at this one woman as just one out of 3 BILLION. Therefore, they are so fearful that they become wimps. Have you ever considered what you didn’t lose by letting her go? What you gained by letting her go? What you won by letting her go? What you gained in your self-esteem by letting her go?


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96 Consider those angles to become a master seducer. Most master seducers find reasons that boost their self-esteem when they let a woman go. Their self-talk may go something like this: •

“Wow, I am glad I got out of that one before it got any worse.”

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“I sure am proud of myself for dealing with her the way I did.”

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“I really feel badly for her. She didn’t get to experience the incredible feelings she would have gotten from being around me.”

Any thing that puts it as her loss and his gain! The master seducers of the world and the successful people of the world make every situation into one that benefits them and moves them closer to their goals.

Gold Panning Technique Now I want to talk about a technique that has worked incredibly well for me and others. This one technique will shift your perspective immensely. Remember the guy I thought was 45 who turned out to be 32? Remember the shift of attitude I had once I realized his true age? This technique will give you a shift of equal proportions! In order for this technique to be most effective for you, we’ve got to build a bit of a foundation. So, let’s get started. One of my hobbies is gold panning. I love it. I love it out there in nature and I love the possibility of finding a big nugget of gold. One of the first things we do when gold panning is to find the most likely place where gold might have settled. Once we determine that, we begin to dig the dirt Breaking the Seduction Code ©

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97 and put it into a 5-gallon bucket. Then we bring the dirt over to the water and take a shovelful and put it into something called a classifier. A classifier is made of screen that separates different sizes of rocks, stones, pebbles, sand etc. etc. There are all kinds of sizes of screens called mesh. Some mesh can be as tiny as the holes in pantyhose. Some mesh may look like the window screens in your home. Some mesh can be as big as a chicken wire fence. The first mesh I use is about one half of an inch by one half of an inch and it filters out most of the big rocks and stones. The second mesh I use is about the size of a screen that you would have in your window at home. It filters out most of the pebbles and tiny rocks and leaves me with sand. There are about 10 different levels of mesh between the half-inch and the smallest mesh. Sometimes when we want to dry out the black sand, we may even use a coffee filter to keep the gold in but let the water out. I think you get my point. Now if I took one of the bigger rocks and tried to push it through one of the smaller screens, I would get severe resistance because the rock was way too big to go through that little hole in the screen. The only way I could get that rock through that screen would be too break it into smaller pieces - pieces that are small enough to fit through the screen size I am using. Breaking the Seduction Code ©

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Our minds work in a similar fashion. When we have a thought that is too big, like the big rock, we cannot get it through certain parts of our mind because certain parts of our mind can only allow a smaller chunk to go through. You probably have heard the saying, “How do you eat an elephant?” and the answer is, “One bite” at a time.” There’s no way we are able to consume the elephant in just one bite. In this same way there is no way you’re going to be able to become a master seducer all at one time. You must take little pieces and work on them to break them down to make it understandable to you. And not only understandable, but in a way that is compatible with your belief systems. When you try to put too big of a piece of information through a smaller hole, it creates stress, fear, and anger. In that format, it is not very manageable. What we need to do is break it down into smaller pieces. In NLP (Neuro-Linguistc Programming), we call it chunking down. When we chunk down, we lighten the load of every piece of information. If you had a big boulder you were trying to carry across a bridge, wouldn’t it be much easier to smash it down into pieces that you could carry? Yes, of course it would! Just like eating an elephant is easier one bite at a time! The brain looks at some of your concepts about women like a big boulder. When you give a beautiful woman


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99 Goddess quality, you are creating a huge boulder. Your brain says, “No way!” And it comes up with all kinds of emotions and blocks to keep you from doing anything. However if you break it down into smaller chunks, it creates less resistance and you’ll find a way to get it done. It is the same way with seduction; most men put it all into one big container and expect to carry it all at once. Get it all done, NOW. If you are carrying the whole seduction process in one container and any piece of the seduction fails to work, then the whole thing fails. Men who do not chunk down the seduction process in this way believe that if one part doesn’t make it through the filter then nothing can make it. They then feel that they may as well give up and will find all kinds of reasons why it didn’t work for them. If you do this, you are putting all your apples in one cart. You’ve told your brain that unless the whole seduction works perfectly, you have failed. That is too much of an expectation to put on anybody! Think about it - most professional baseball players fail to hit the baseball 7 out of 10 times and they are still considered successes. The key here is to break the boulder down into pieces that will go through your filter. When we change the size of the chunk, it has a different name and a different meaning to it. You would not call a pebble a boulder. You would not call a stone a boulder. They are classified by size. Each different size has a different quality and meaning to us. When we change the size of thoughts, we also automatically change the meaning in our minds.


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100 Each of us has different meanings for different sizes of information and what is just the right size for one person may still be too big for another. That’s ok. What you will find is that if you continue to break it down into smaller pieces, you will reach a magical point where there is no resistance. And because there is no resistance, it will flow through those filters in your mind that will let you proceed in the seduction process. It will be a point that will not only change in your visual field (like seeing a 32 year old after believing his was 45), you will also feel a huge difference in your body. Your body will feel lighter because the weight of the “TOO BIG concept” has been taken off of you. Let’s look at this in terms of something other than seduction so that you can see that it really works and HAS probably already worked for you in other arenas. Have you ever been assigned a job that you thought was impossible? Something your boss wanted you to do, but perhaps a job you had never really done before? It scared the hell out of you! However, you soon discovered that even though you had never done that particular job before, you had done most of the pieces involved in the job. You knew how to do those pieces, so you realized how easy the job was after all. It wasn’t a change of the job required. It was just a change in your mind. The same thing is true about the seduction process. What we are going to do is systematically begin to break down the boulder that you call seduction or dating until there is no, or very little, resistance. A little resistance can be a good thing. But you have to decide what level of resistance is comfortable for you to begin to take action, now.


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101 I will tell you about my friend Paul and you’ll see how I had him break the pieces down. And then you will see the amazing results!!

$ Paul had been in a relationship for eight years and was in his late 40’s. He was a nice guy, but his girlfriend got tired of him, and let him know that she was tired of him - all the time. So they finally broke up and Paul was on his own. He had been out of the game for so long that he didn’t know what to do anymore. He was afraid and didn’t want to even think about getting rejected by another woman so quickly. I don’t blame Paul for not wanting to be rejected! But, I wanted to help him, so we did some reframing of his thinking. Then I gave him some assignments to do as I began to coach him. Paul didn’t know where to begin in the seduction process. He had put everything that he thought about dating and seduction into one big pile. And when he looked at that pile (boulder), it petrified him. So my first assignment with Paul was to get him to go out and to do just one thing. That one thing was to smile at every woman he saw - beautiful or ugly. Paul said, “Oh that is easy. I already do that now”. So I said, “OK” let’s go to the next step. What I want you to do now is to begin to say hello to all women that you consider good-looking or beautiful.” He had a little bit of resistance, but said he thought he should be able do this with no problem.


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102 When I talked to Paul the next week he was all upset, and said that he couldn’t do this, and that he was not cut out for seduction. So I asked him what happened. He said he started to say hi to all the good-looking women that he met, and the next thing he knew he was in a conversation with them, and after while he didn’t know what to say, and was afraid to get their number. I said, “Hold on a minute. Stop! What was your assignment? Was it to talk to women? Was it to get their number?” He said no but that he felt obligated to do it and thought that’s what he should do, and that he failed in doing that. I told him to stop again and told him that I thought he had succeeded marvelously. He didn’t get it. I told him that the chunk size of the assignment for that week was to smile and say hi. That’s all. And that’s what he did. Whatever he did beyond hello had NOTHING to do with his success or failure of the assignment. The chunk size that we were determining to complete his assignment had been completed. Once he got what I was saying, he lightened up quite a bit, and said, “Oh, I get it now.” So each week we added a little chunk that was manageable for him. He was now building on his successes. He was getting the Boulder from one side of the river to the other by breaking it into smaller, more manageable SIZE chunks. He was


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103 achieving that one piece at a time. He was taking one bite of the elephant at a time. And then he began to see that as completed each assignment, it went into the plus column on his accounting system. He was building confidence one piece at a time, instead of a boulder at a time, which was impossible for him to achieve. This process became very funny because he kept saying he was having problems. Now his problems were that the WOMEN wanted to keep doing more than his assignment called for. It is interesting and funny that his problems were now reversed! There was a time that I didn’t hear from Paul for a few months. Then he called me one day, complaining that he didn’t think the seduction stuff was worth doing. I asked him why. He said that now he had too many women that were calling him. He was dating, but his new problem was that he could not tell the women no! He felt bad turning them down. PLUS, he was afraid that all the women would find out about each other! He was getting tired and confused trying to juggle all of the women. I said first you call me complaining that you’re not getting laid, and now you’re calling me because you have too many women. What’s the problem? Do you know how many men wish they were in your position right now, and had your problem?


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104 So the big Boulder for Paul was the initial steps. Once he was able to get past that hurdle, he had no problem talking to women. In fact, he was such a good talker and good seducer he had more than he could handle. What happened with Paul is not uncommon. Most of the men I’ve coached in this area have very similar results. Another point on Paul: He kept getting results from his behavior but his beliefs had not caught up to his results in the seduction arena. Remember, sometimes it takes your beliefs a while to catch up to your reality! Our beliefs sometimes need multiple experiences over time to finally let go of the doubt.

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Now what I just told you works for most of your fears around women. What I am about to tell you and explain to you about this next technique, if used properly, will take care of any fear of beautiful women that you may have.

WARNING: Play with this carefully because if you turn it on too much, it can actually have the effect of turning you off to the beautiful woman you are looking at! This particular technique is not an on and off process. It is not like a light switch. It is more like a volume dial on a radio. You can increase and decrease it. There are degrees of up and down. You will have to dial in your own comfort level. Breaking the Seduction Code ©

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105 What this does is give you the ability to turn down the resistance, or the fear, to a level inside you that lets you talk to women without the fear. You can then decide, as a master seducer, how you want to be around her without the fear in the way. Just think about fear as if somebody took the roof off your house and dropped an elephant into your living room. You would have to learn to live around that elephant. You would have to design your life around the elephant in the room. You would have to change all the furniture in the room. Fear is like that elephant. You have changed so many things about how you act around women based on your internal fear. This technique that you’re about to learn is like taking the elephant out of the room. Think about how much easier it’s got to be in your living room without the elephant. Think about how much more pleasant it will be to be around beautiful women without the fear. Let me build a little bit of a foundation for this technique as well. There is something called Meta programs in NLP. Meta-programs are a way to determine HOW you classify certain types of information. With the last technique we determined the parameters of classification by size. How BIG or how SMALL was the chunk. There is another very useful way to classify information that is extremely important in seduction. The meta-program that we are talking about is called sameness / difference.


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106 Let me explain. Imagine that we have three different coins - a penny, a quarter and a nickel - and I asked you what the relationship between these three items was. One group of people might say they’re all money or they’re all coins or they are all metals or they are all circles. Another group of people might see the same three coins and determine that there is no relationship, as one is a penny, the other is a quarter, and the other is a nickel. Or that they are all different sizes, or that they are all worth different amounts, or that they are different colors. The third group of people might say two are Silver and one is Copper, or they are all coins but different denominations. The first group sorts by SAMENESS - they are looking for the qualities in the three items that make them the SAME. They’re looking for similarities. The second group is sorting information by how the three items are DIFFERENT from one another. They see the DIFFERENCES. The third group uses a combination of both. Most people fall into this third group. The third group of people first saw the difference of the objects and then sees the sameness. This makes them able to go from one end of the spectrum to the other. Some people first see how things are the same and then how they differ. So they may say, “Well they’re all coins but these two are Silver and that one is, Copper. Breaking the Seduction Code ©

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When it comes to men looking at women, nature has plugged in a software program in our mind that has us look at the opposite sex for DIFFERENCES. That means that we sort for information for beautiful women by DIFFERENCE. The more beautiful she is the more DIFFERENCE there is -breasts, vagina, curves, soft voice etc. And, within these DIFFERENCES lies your BIG boulders. If you can learn how to shift this difference you will, in effect, break that Boulder down into smaller pieces. Let me give you an example. Using Sameness to Get Rid of the Elephant Just think about what men call a Butch Lesbian (manly looking). I don’t know about you, but when I look at Butch lesbians that have their hair cut like men, dress like men, talk like men, walk like men, and act like men, my attraction switch turns RIGHT off. It is because she is exhibiting the qualities of manhood. She is trying to look and be like a man. This is SAMENESS, and sameness in physical features turns most all men off. There are about 10% of the males that the sameness works for. And I am not getting into that here. Now if I look at what they call a Lipstick Lesbian, which means a beautiful lesbian, it does not have the same affect on me. Now I want you to create a scale in your mind with Butch Lesbian on one end and Lipstick Lesbian on the other. As you go up and down the scale, you will see how your attraction goes from completely turned off to completely turned on. In Breaking the Seduction Code ©

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108 between the ends of the spectrum, there is a mixture of a little or a lot of both going on. And if you play with that mixture, you will find your own personal magic point of the comfort you want when personally dealing with beautiful women. Now let’s put a rating on your scale with Butch Lesbian as a one and the Lipstick Lesbian as a 10. After looking at the scale, you determine that your comfort level is about a 6. At the 6 level, you are still turned on and still comfortable with the woman you see. The fear is not taking over at a 6. The next step is to be able to have you feel like you are talking to a level 6 when, in fact, you are talking to a beautiful level 10! We want your emotions and your state of mind to come from a level 6 while you’re interacting and seducing a level-10 beauty. And just how do you do that? You have to look for the manly qualities, no matter how small, to turn the volume switch down enough to talk to her with the comfort of a seducer. You don’t have to do it forever, just until you get the swing of being comfortable in front of 10’s. Now remember I said to be CAREFUL with this, because if you screw the scale up and look at a level 10 from the point of view of a level 1, you could really hurt her feelings and not be attracted to beautiful women anymore. Read that again. Unless of course you begin to focus heavily again on the differences Also when you practice going up and down on the scale you will find another magical thing happening that I will let you discover on your own. It’s an awesome thing and you will never know what I am talking about, unless you try.


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109 Now here’s what you do, it’s very simple. The next time you look at a beautiful woman, begin to ask yourself these questions. What features on her face are the same that I have on my face? Nose, nose hairs, eyes, ears, earwax, dirty fingernails etc. Just play with your own ideas that turn it down a notch. What features on her face look the same as a man’s face? If she were a man, who would she remind me of? With this one, you want to compare the two faces in your mind’s eye, while looking for similarities in their features and look. What other features on her body are similar to a man’s body? She has hands, she has knees, she has feet, etc. etc. Normally, just by focusing on the similarities in the face is enough to change it. It really lessens the fear inside of you. I think about some of the Butch Lesbians that I know that have kick ass bodies, but they are so manly in their looks, and the way they talk, I just can’t seem to get past that and feel any attraction towards them. And when I take that principal and apply it towards beautiful women, the same thing begins to happen. The effect of her beauty is no longer as powerful over me. And I am now more in control of what I think and how I act around beautiful women. I think if you play with this technique and the elements that make it work for you personally, you will get huge benefit from it.


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Using Differences to Get Rid of the Elephant Now we want to work on the other end of the spectrum. We want to work on the differences of beautiful women. These differences focus beyond her looks and move right into her personality traits! We, as men, have a tendency to group beautiful women together and apply the same attributes across the board to all beauty. We make generalizations. These generalizations make it easier to distinguish information. It is another survival mechanism that can work for us, and can also work against us. For instance, if I see an incredible blonde, it triggers a certain feeling. If I see a brunette that turns me on, it is pretty much the same feeling. It is a turned on, horny feeling and can be triggered by what I call “HOT.” So if I say that “She is hot” to myself or a friend, it creates a feeling to go with it. Stimulus and response again! Most of the time it is just the visual that is needed to trigger that feeling. And the feeling is similar with all women I look at as “Hot.” We may have minor distinctions between what we like, and how turned on we get, but pretty much, when we get turned on, it’s like a light switch. This is where we get into trouble with beautiful women. This is what we were talking about earlier when we talked about the “Star or the Goddess” quality. Another method to get rid of the fear of beautiful women, besides looking for their similarities to us, is to look for their differences – not between them and us (those are apparent and get us into the horny trouble we are in), but their individual Breaking the Seduction Code ©

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111 differences. This way, we won’t lump all beautiful women together! So what we are going to do now is classify women, not by their beauty, but by their differences in personality, values, and beliefs. What this process does is that it gives you a kind of a buffer zone, a safe zone, from your own feelings that can get you carried away. It creates an area inside of you to begin to find out things about her. Now when you look at her start to ask yourself these questions: Would I trust this girl with my bank account? Would I trust this girl in my apartment alone for a week, or a month? Would I introduce her to someone that I look up to, or care about? Would I introduce her to my parents, grandparents, family, or friends? If you go to church, would you take her to church, and introduce her to your pastor or priests, or the congregation? Or maybe even the nuns? Would you trust her to take care of your pets? (If you have any) And if none of those work, try this one. Imagine the person you most love in the world has been magically turned into a newborn baby. You have the responsibility of that baby, knowing who that baby really is. Would you leave that baby in this woman’s hands for any period of time? If used properly, you begin to see how foolish you really are to give any woman those “Star or Goddess” qualities based on beauty alone.


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112 When you use either the sameness technique or the difference technique, or both, you are creating a gap for yourself. The kind of gap that takes you out of the stimulus/response loop that you have been caught up in for so many years. When you are in the stimulus response loop, you really are no better than any animal. Because when you are in stimulus / response loop, you don’t have any choice. The presupposition of stimulus response is that when the stimulus is activated, the response is automatic. When you have enough of this stimulus / response mechanisms working inside you, you become more of a machine than a human. You lose your ability to choose because it is chosen for you by your unconscious mind, before you can even think about it. These techniques I just gave you open up a gap between the stimulus and the response. You become an active participant in determining what you will put in between stimulus and response. Please read again! These techniques don’t just work with women; they also work with all relationships, anywhere. They are excellent to use in business, in sales, and they work wonderfully for setting and attaining your goals. I will give you a little warning. Unless you begin to take action and use these techniques, your mind will have a tendency to make you forget what you just read, because the techniques can have such a profound impact on your old beliefs.


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If you want to use these techniques, I suggest you start immediately. If you don’t start immediately you began another kind of conditioning process. That conditioning process serves to close off your ability to make changes. The more times you promise yourself that you are going to change or do something differently, and you don’t do it, the more your brain begins to put it into the B.S. mode. What that means it is that your brain says on unconscious level, “Yeah, yeahhe’s just dreaming again and not planning on doing anything, so we’ll let him dream for a while, and then make them forget it.” Then the brain will file the ideas and techniques into the RECYCLE bin of your mind. If you continue to promise yourself change and then do not do it right away, the concrete begins to dry harder and makes changes more difficult. It is better for you to say that you are not going to do this right now than to say you are and not do it! In my experience of dealing with change, you must keep the idea, of the action of change, prominent in your mind and body for approximately 21 to 28 days. If you attained the 21 to 28 days, each time that you commit to the 21 to 28 days, it will become easier. You will still need to 21 to 28 days to change, but it just won’t be nearly as bad or as hard as the first time. It is called momentum, and you must learn to build on it because once it’s going, you can throw anything into that process and make it work for yourself. Breaking the Seduction Code ©

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But remember the process works in reverse, too. The more times you commit to the 21 to 28 days, and don’t do it, the harder it gets each time in the future. Just ask some old people!

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Now, let me say a few words about the positive nature of resistance. Earlier, I talked with you about breaking the elephant up into smaller chunks – and that would help you avoid the resistance. However, not all resistance is bad. It is designed by Nature to protect us from things we really need to fear. For instance, if you see a tiger, you do not want to get rid of the resistance that makes you run! Sometimes it is good to have real fear in place. I don’t know about you, but I am happy with the level of fear that I have when I see a tiger. I WANT that fear, and I want it to kick in right away. I don’t want to have to think about it too much. I just want it to get my ass out of there. PRONTO! What you have been doing with woman is classifying them in the same category as you would a tiger or a crocodile. It’s not that you shouldn’t have any fear or any resistance, it is just that you have misclassified the information. You put two things together into one place, and they shouldn’t be put together. It is like mixing your whites and colors when doing laundry, you should do them separately so the colors don’t affect the whites. Otherwise you end up with pink jockey shorts!


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115 Of course, I am talking to men, and they may not see that mixing of laundry as being a problem (myself included!), but do you get my point? That part of your brain that uses fear is working perfectly in the way it should. It is your classification system that is all messed up! The way you classified women was decided along time ago, when you were a child. And believe it or not, it is still working the same way it did as a child. And from a little boy’s perspective, some of the women in your life may have been on the same level of fear as a tiger. I certainly know it was true with the nuns!!! Back then you didn’t know the difference. Now you do. And it is time to reclassify women or you will get the same results as you have been getting in the past. I once heard Tony Robbins say, “Insanity is defined as doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.” As Shiv Khera, motivation coach and author of "You Can Win" puts it, "Winners don' t do different things. They do things differently.” So anytime in the future that you feel a fear that you know is out of place, you can thank the fear mechanism for working. And at the same time begin to reclassify the information, by chunking down and/or using the sameness or difference techniques. I am sure it will work as it worked for me and other master seducers.


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In this section I want to explore the dichotomy of win and lose and how it happens.

The Nature of Second Guessing I remember one time breaking up with a girl who lived a bit of a distance from me. On the way home in the car, I had plenty of time to think. This is not always a good thing!! On a scale of 1 to 10, this girl was definitely a 9.5, but she was very high maintenance and had a few other psychological issues. But she was hot. She had an ass just like Nicole Kidman’s in Eyes Wide Shut. If you saw the movie, you’ll know what I mean! If you didn’t, you’ll just have to take my word for it - she was damn sexy and hot. On the way home, I started to hear that voice in the back of my head that doubted what I had just done. I think the voice might have been coming from a different head than the one that was sitting on my shoulders. But, I could feel a real longing in my heart also. But I knew from past experience with this type of woman that I needed to get out of this relationship as soon as possible. It didn’t make it any easier. In my mind I kept hearing the voice the back of my head say things like: Breaking the Seduction Code ©

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117 > Maybe I made the wrong decision > Maybe I should go back there > Maybe she’ll try to kill herself > Maybe she already has > Maybe she’ll be devastated > Etc. etc. I realized that all those thoughts were because I thought I was going to lose something. They were coming from a sense that I had done the wrong thing or made a mistake. I was second-guessing myself and I was mainly second guessing myself because of her beauty. If she had been ugly, I would not have had that much of a problem! So, here is what I did: > I began to focus on the parts of her that I thought were ugly. > I began to build myself up with confidence. > I started to think about what I had won for myself in the process. > I started to think about how I would not have to put up with her B.S. and lies. > I would not have to listen to all her problems without her ever asking me about my life. The battle in my mind was now on. Then I thought about what a master seducer would be doing at this point. I realized that the master seducer would already be thinking about his next Breaking the Seduction Code ©

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118 conquest. He would be thinking about how to improve on his judgments the next time. I wondered what the master seducer would think about the woman he just left. And then a thought came to my mind about setting boundaries for what I will and will not accept in my life. I began to think about what she would have to do for me to let her back in my life.

Do you see the change in thinking? Before that point, I had been thinking about how to get back into her life. My thinking was towards opening the relationship back up by me going to her. I was willing to let her be in control! When I started thinking about what she would have to do to get back into my life, I began to be in control of who gets into my life. I got to decide the behavior and attitudes of the people that I accepted and wanna be around in my reality. I got to be in charge of my own life. Asking myself what SHE would have to do to be allowed back into my life really empowered me. It was an amazing shift for me both mentally and emotionally. There was something really powerful about me being control of what that physically beautiful woman would have to do to get back into my reality and enjoy living in my world. As I explored the possibilities of how she would beg me to get back into my life, I had an immediate realization of what master seducer’s feel. The more I thought Breaking the Seduction Code ©

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119 about all the things that she would need to do for me to accept her back, the more empowered I became. I am telling you, YOU must go back to the women, in your mind’s eye, that have rejected you, or broken it off with you, and try this. Try it with the women that you broke up with but still have some lingering doubt about your decision. This is a way to explore a part of yourself that will give you rewards beyond your wildest imagination. When you actually apply this in your mind and in your motions, you will know exactly what I’m talking about.

An Empowering Example As an example, let me give you a few things that I was thinking about. You will have to make your own decisions about what will work for you. > I began to think about how she would have to talk to me and in what tone of voice. > I imagined her begging me to forgive her and telling me how she would change the behaviors that bothered me so much. But then I asked myself what it would be like if I was telling her what I wanted from her. I put myself in the shoes of Master Seducer. I put myself in the shoes of a King. I put myself in the shoes of a Rock Star. I put myself in the shoes of a Movie Star. I allowed myself to feel this way. I allowed myself to feel that it was my right to dictate whether a woman would be allowed back into my world. I realized that Breaking the Seduction Code ©

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120 she would have to compete with many, many women in order to be with me – to be in MY WORLD! This exercise was not about whether she did those things or not. It was about me taking back my power, my world, and my reality. I had just learned that I didn’t need anybody to complete my world. Sure, it would be nice to have a beautiful woman to accompany me in this life. What I no longer was willing to accept was the fact that I would have to put up with any crap.

Hey, look; if you are going to be alone at any time in your life, would you rather walk around feeling empowered and strong and the master of your own destiny? Or would you rather go around sulking, and feeling sorry for yourself? Would you rather be walking around in life wondering when that perfect woman might come into your life? Think about it, it puts you at their mercy. When you think like that you are not in charge of your world. Everything ‘outside of you’ controls your reality. But when you are in the mindset of a master seducer, whether you are with a woman or not, you decide and you choose what to believe about your reality. But there is even more to it than your own feelings of power. Imagine that there are two men standing side by side. One believes that the control is in the outer things. The other has confidence and believes that he controls his own reality. Which one do you think a woman would pick? Which one would you want to have as a friend?


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Millionaires and Master Seducers Aren’t Afraid to Burn Bridges Another element for me was the fact that I was afraid to feel any loss. Part of why I came up with all these excuses about going back for this girl that I had just broken up with was because I felt like I was losing something. That concept of loss kept me from making a clean break. It kept me from making a solid decision. Essentially what I was doing was “not burning my bridges.” I had always been taught to never burn my bridges because I may have to use them again at some time in the future. Well to be honest with you, I have changed that belief system. I now believe that success determines that we must burn some bridges, and never go back the way we came. I

have

studied

and

modeled

many

successful

people,

businessmen,

professionals, etc. etc. I also studied and modeled many millionaires. And one of the things that I learned from them was that they were able to burn certain bridges without any hesitation if they did not meet with their values or standards. It was a huge lesson for me to learn. I realized that I have not burned many bridges in my life. I had kept the door open for many people who had qualities and values that I abhorred. I was keeping the door open to all those negative traits, qualities, and values. I realized that I had done this because I didn’t want to hurt anybody feelings and I thought that I might need something that they had. This mentality, I found out from my millionaire and successful friends, is what keeps people from moving forward. They told me that came from a mentality of Breaking the Seduction Code ©

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122 lack. One friend asked me this simple but profound questions: “Is it possible that you can find someone better able to give you what you need than the person you should’ve burned your bridges with?” It was an awesome question. I had never considered that there were others, many others, out there that had the positive traits I needed and without all the negative qualities. Additionally, my friends told me that by keeping the bridges intact, I was putting the other person in a higher place in my mind then I put myself. It puts them in control of certain things. It means that I’m willing to put up with their crap at a future date to get something from them. I am saying, on an unconscious level, that I have to deal with negative things to get positive things. Successful people and master seducers know differently. They are not afraid to burn a bridge. They’re not afraid of the loss because they know that they will create something better. They cut off all those negative qualities from their reality by cutting out the people that have them. They have an “abundance mentality” and believe that the universe will provide them with something better.

Getting What You Want From the Get Go We have just been concentrating on people in our past and how to let go.

Let’s now shift gears and look at the people we are going to meet. Wouldn’t it be nice if we were able to determine from the beginning if that person had the values and qualities that we want in our lives? Wouldn’t it be nice if we Breaking the Seduction Code ©

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123 could stop the people who have the negative values and qualities from entering into our life right at the beginning? How much easier would your life be if you had stopped the negative influence from coming into your life in the first place? That’s what successful people do. They don’t weigh themselves down with something they don’t want in their lives. Successful people figure that they can use the energy they would’ve consumed dealing with negative people in much more beneficial ways. In the same sense, you must determine what qualities you want in a woman and what qualities you simply will not put up with. This let’s you deal with that “internal loss” feeling immediately. You can “give up” those women that don’t fit the criteria with the confident knowledge that you will get something better. Successful people from all walks of life have told me that if you expect more from the universe you will get it. If you expect mediocrity you will get it. If you expect trouble you will get it. In the process of changing what you want from the universe, the universe will test you. Once you determine what you do want and what you don’t want, you can bet your bottom dollar that you will be tested. What do I mean? If you say to yourself, no matter how beautiful a woman is, if she has this quality or that quality, I’m not letting her in, it probably won’t be a few days before she is knocking at your door - testing you! You must stay firm in your commitment. If you do, you can be assured that what you want will also come knocking at your door.


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124 The one common denominator between ALL - let me say that again – ALL successful people is persistence. They persist past their doubts, fears, and old beliefs. They persist into their new reality. After you have done it so many times, you begin to realize that it is just a matter of time. You no longer wonder if you WILL get what you want because you believe that you will. You know that it is just a matter of tests and time. So, my advice to you is to stick with it. Stick with this new reality that you want. Stay firm about what you do want and what you don’t want. But, be willing to refine the boundaries as you learn more about yourself and the world around you. Sometimes, when we think we are clear about what we want, we find out more information and realize our “reality” needs to be improved! Don’t be afraid to make changes!! Persistence and flexibility are the keys.

The Game of Seduction – Are You “All In”? Recently there has been a phenomenal growth in the interest of Texas Hold ’em Poker. People everywhere are playing it. It is on television – many channels and many times of the day! I find it to be extremely interesting and fun to watch. You get to see what separates the winners from the losers. It is psychology at its best. These people are under tremendous pressure and I find watching people under pressure to be quite interesting. It shows the true essence of who they really are. People can say I am this way or I am that way, but the proof is in the pudding.


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125 Do you know what makes poker players successful? Their ability to throw in all their chips based on their belief that they have a winning hand. The excitement peaks in these games when a player says, “I am all in.” When everybody hears, “I am all in,” all the attention flows to the player who said it. These players are willing to put everything on the line without knowing the outcome. Let me say that again. The player that says, “I AM ALL IN” doesn’t know exactly how the hand is going to turn out. However, he is willing to risk everything to find out. He is willing to risk everything because there’s a possibility that he can double what he has – or maybe even more. His focus is not on what he can LOSE – it is on what he can WIN! The master poker player knows that there will always be another time to play and bet again. The cautious player just delays the inevitable – the ultimate loss. A cautious player never wins enough hands to ultimately win the tournament. Even when the cautious player has a winning hand, he loses because he did not bet enough to get anywhere. So the cautious player only gets to experience the field of play within a certain range and never gets to be in the exciting parts of the game. In the same sense, the cautious seducer never really gets the excitement of putting all his chips on the line. The master seducer is always putting himself “all in.” Women can tell that about a man. They want a man who is willing to put himself “all in” to a relationship with them. They don’t want caution to be a major part of your interaction with them. They want to see what you have. And the master seducer is not afraid to show them. He is so confident with himself that he puts all of himself out there for


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126 everyone to see. The master seducer knows that there is much more to gain than there is to lose by putting “all in.” As a master seducer, the thing that will be first and foremost in your mind is your enjoyment of life. You will ask yourself, “Am I enjoying life to the fullest?” You will not be too concerned about what others think. You will know that the people that are attracted to who you are will be those that are best suited to be in your reality. You don’t consider what you might lose because you are already winning just by being “all in.” Women love a man that is independent. Women love the fact that a man has his own independence and loves life – even when they aren’t around. They love it because they know that the man is confident being who he is. The woman knows she is not responsible for getting him to be happy and independent. She knows it is not her energy that will be required to keep him there. She can see he has that quality within himself. That quality is extremely attractive to women.

Teri Tells: It is very refreshing to find a man that doesn’t NEED me to make him happy. In fact, if I don’t feel he NEEDS me to make him happy, I am more likely to do things for him that do make him happy. Needy is not a turn-on!

The successful person that goes “all in” knows that if this doesn’t work out he will get into another game as soon as possible. He plans to use what he learned from this game and take it into the next game. He also knows that if he wins he can use the win as a platform to build to the next level. The “all in” person is willing to go to any lengths and not be afraid. Breaking the Seduction Code ©

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The cautious person usually has some kind of fear of success. He also has the same kind of fear of loss. Both of those fears keep him in the middle. The successful person and master seducer break through both the fear of success and the fear of failure and live an adventurous life. They say, “The biggest risk in life is not to take any RISK”! I once heard someone talking about the Beatles. He was talking about the fact that each album that the Beatles put out was the best they had at the time. Someone once asked John Lennon if he ever saved anything or held back something for the next album. John Lennon said something to this effect: We don’t know if we will be around for the next album so we give it everything that we have right now. We give it everything right now as if this is our last album and we are going to burn out after this album. Basically John Lennon was saying that while producing every one of their albums, they were “all in.” Think about that and think about how successful the Beatles were and are. It was because they didn’t hold back anything. They put everything they had into it as if it was going to be their last album. They wanted each album to be the best of who they were at the time. What a great concept.

What if you did that with your life? What if you did that with the process of becoming a master seducer? What if you did that with being the best human being you could be? Breaking the Seduction Code ©

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Become a Laser Beam Instead of a Light Bulb With all this in mind, this may be the perfect time to talk about manifesting the woman or women that you want in your life. We all understand the concept of electrical outlets. If we need energy, we simply plug into an electrical outlet and energy is available for our use. We determine how were going to use that energy. We can plug-in a toaster or a television set. We can plug-in a computer or hairdryer. The same energy that flows in a light bulb can also flow in my stereo. In the same way, we have a certain amount of energy that is produced by our mind, body, and spirit everyday. We also must determine where that energy is going to be used. If we have scattered thoughts about something, it is wasting our energy. The thoughts are bouncing all over the place without any real purpose. If you are wanting to be a master seducer, you can’t afford to have your thoughts about women bouncing all over the place with no purpose! What a waste of energy!! I have found that most men do not have any idea about what they want in a woman besides beauty. A lot of men don’t even know how they define beauty; they just know it when they see it. This is not a very efficient way to use the energy. Think of scattered energy like the light of a high watt bulb. The light scatters all over the room and makes everything brighter but nothing is really in focus. Focused energy is more like a laser beam. No light is wasted on anything in the


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129 room. The light is simply focused on the target and nothing more. You need to become like a laser instead of a light bulb! When you’re going to buy a computer, a camera, a car, a house etc. etc., you know what you want. You determine the use and function of the item, and then decide on the accessories and quality and specifications of what you want. And if you don’t know, you either research it or find somebody that knows what they’re talking about. Right? The same is true when determining what you want in a woman. Here are the steps I take: 1. Decide what kind of relationship I want. Do I want a find a marriage partner? Do I want to be in a relationship with one-woman, or many women? Do I want long-term or short-term etc. etc. You have to define what kind of relationship you want with a woman first. 2. After you determine what kind of relationship you want, then you can determine the perfect woman for you in THAT relationship. Please notice something VERY important – the kind of relationship determines the right woman/women for that relationship! If you are wanting a marriage partner, she may be entirely different from someone you choose for a short-term relationship while seeing other women!! Once you define the perfect woman for you in that relationship, your unconscious mind will begin to go to work seeking to bring her into your reality. How? The first thing it does is to take all your scattered thought energy and focus it on a purpose. Imagine we have an extension cord sticking out of a wall socket. The Breaking the Seduction Code ©

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130 energy is not being used. It is there and available, but rather useless in the cord. Once you plug in a computer, for instance, the energy becomes focused and runs the computer for you. The energy is no longer useless – in fact, it becomes very useful. This is what you are doing when you focus your energy on the kind of woman you want. Instead of energy being scattered, it now is funneled into getting you the kind of woman that you want. When you bring that energy into alignment it creates a magnetic effect. It repels that which you don’t want and attracts that which you do want. The second thing that determining what you want in a woman does is really phenomenal. It gives you something to do other than figure out the kind of woman that would be interested in you! You turn the equation around and you get to choose! Sweet! One of the worst things in the world to go through is a sense of not knowing. How many times have you seen parents on the television wanting to know if their missing children were dead or alive? These suffering parents always say they just need to know one way or the other. Our brains work the same way. Uncertainty is the most available commodity in the universe. It is easy to get lost in the uncertainty – there is plenty of it in plenty of places! So, we can either be at the mercy of uncertainty, or take control by making the determination ourselves. If you have a beautiful woman reject you severely, you have a choice. You can either look at it as something that you had no choice in and it happened to you. Or you can make a determination to take control of the meaning and put your Breaking the Seduction Code ©

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131 own spin on it that is the most useful to you - a meaning that will serve you now and in the future! If I were in the situation of having a beautiful woman reject me, I would say these things: > I chose to have that happen to me to further my learning. > I chose to have these feelings to learn to deal with them, so the next time I will handle it better. When choosing what kind of woman you want in your life, it works the same way. You can live with the uncertainty of not knowing what kind of woman you will have in your life and always be wondering. Or you can determine the qualities and values and looks of the woman you want. I like the idea of having the frame of mind that I am in control and drawing her closer to me everyday. I am developing the qualities in me daily that are bringing the best possible match to me. Once you know what you want, you begin to send out a certain frequency that will attract the woman that most closely fits your description. Women that fit that description the best will begin to find you. PLUS, you begin to become more of the man that will draw that type and quality of woman. Read that again! It’s true!

Defining the Perfect Woman Here are a few basic questions that can help you define the kind of woman/women you want to bring into your life.


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132 Do not limit yourself to how you answer these questions. Go deep inside to your heart of hearts and put down what you really want. Go “all in” with your answers. Leave nothing to chance. If you find out at a later time that you’ve left something out, feel free to go back and adjust it.

WARNING: These are very powerful concepts and questions, so use them wisely. If you won’t conceptualize and apply in your real life, you won’t get it. 1. What is there for me to improve to be more attractive? To being more attractive? To become more attractive? Answering each part of this question will give you different answers about different parts of your being. 2. What are the qualities that my perfect woman expects me to have? Now this is a big one because most probably you have never considered how you appear from your perfect woman’s, or any woman’s, viewpoint. You want to consider the best qualities that you will be, are being, or are becoming from her standpoint - from her wants and needs. 3. What are the qualities and values and looks etc. etc. that the perfect woman in my reality has? Get specific on this one; take as much space as you need. Think about qualities and values that you like in other people. 4. What qualities inside of me do I want my perfect woman to have in common with me? Breaking the Seduction Code ©

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133 Think about the things that you like in life. Think about the things inside you that you would like her to respect and acknowledge and pay attention to. What are your favorite qualities about yourself that you want her to pay attention to? 5. What kinds of passions does she have about life and about you that keep her motivated? Here you want to find out what drives her. It kind of relates to her values, but this is more about her passions and her wants and her needs. This maybe a little more difficult and time-consuming to figure out, but it is well worth it. 6. What kinds of purposes do you have about life and yourself that keep you motivated that she will be attracted to? What are your passions, your wants, your needs, and desires that will be attractive to her? The sixth question is similar to the fifth, but this time you put yourself instead of her in the question These are some of the basic questions that, once you define, will ease your mind and emotions as to what you want. Knowing these answers will also send out the signals, like a magnet, that will attract your perfect woman to you. You may even want to include things like her education, career choices, entrepreneur skills, hobbies, places she likes to travel, introvert or extrovert etc. etc. While you’re at it, you might want to define those parameters for yourself. By doing these exercises and answering these questions, you begin to create a self-directed life. You are no longer like a flag waving in any direction the wind happens to be blowing at the time. When you define what you want, you stand Breaking the Seduction Code ©

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134 fast, no matter which way the wind may be blowing. You determine the direction that you’re going in life, not your circumstances.


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The Reality of Don Juan Recently, I rented and watched a movie that I watched about eight years ago. I watched it again for the purpose of this book. The movie is called Don Juan DeMarco, starring Johnny Depp and Marlon Brando. If you haven’t seen it already, the movie is about seduction. Johnny Depp’s character thinks he is the original Don Juan. Marlon Brando, a psychiatrist, is assigned to him to help him out of his delusion. It deals with this character’s fantasies about life, about love, and about women. His fantasy is so powerful, and he believes who he is so much, that it begins to affect all those around him. It even begins to change the world of the psychiatrist. I bring up his movie because it exemplifies the idea that if your beliefs and actions are powerful enough, you will change the realities of those around you. You will also attract the proper players in the theater of your reality to make it work. In the movie, Johnny Depp’s character, Don Juan, is so congruent about his belief that he is the world’s greatest lover, that the women around him begin to believe it. They not only believe it but they act on it. Not only is Don Juan different inside, he sees people as he believes they really are. He says he looks deep within women. He looks beneath all their masks and disguises, into what they really are. He looks at everyone, no matter what her faults, and sees her true beauty. Breaking the Seduction Code ©

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Don Juan says that he is seeing beyond what is beautiful to the eyes. He says he sees the glorious and wonderful in women. And then Don Juan says this most profound thing to his psychiatrist while explaining the seduction process. Don Juan says, “They sense that I search out the beauty that dwells within them until it overwhelms everything else and then they cannot avoid their desire to release that beauty and envelope me in it.” That about sums it all up! If we maintain our character, lose our fear of women, and see inside the woman like Don Juan does, you become a master seducer. While considering what I just said I want you to think about what it would be like if, number one, you thought about and looked at yourself like that. And, number two, if you’re perfect woman looked at you and saw you like that. Just considering those ideas will shift your reality!

Your “Character” in Her Fantasy In the movie, Depp was playing a particular character – that of a master seducer. His role affected all those around him.

So let’s talk a little bit about the character part. What does the character part do for you, and most importantly what does it trigger in the woman? Women have been brought up with television, movies, and romance novels. These things have taught them what kinds of characters men play and what they Breaking the Seduction Code ©

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137 are supposed to be attracted to. Most of these characters line up with the “biology of attraction” from a woman’s standpoint. What does this mean for you? A way into a woman’s heart and bed is through the structure of her fantasy man. If we start to develop the characteristics and behaviors of this fantasy man, she will both consciously and unconsciously be drawn to try to act out her fantasies with regard to this character. Women love to role-play; they love to experience different emotional perspectives. If you give a woman an opportunity to act out her fantasy perspective with you, you’re in for a big treat. Once you have determined what you don’t want in a woman, and once you have determined that you are not going to go for the feminist’s viewpoint, you can begin to decide what fantasy character best suits you for the kind of woman you want or attract. Or better yet, the kind of behavior you wish for your perfect woman to exhibit towards you! Most of the thoughts and ideas espoused in the beginning of the book were to clear away all the B. S. and old models and frameworks that society, women, and you have created. These old models make it hard to get the results that you want. Once you accept that you can be wherever you wannabe, and that you no longer fear women, we can begin to determine which model or framework will get you what you want the fastest and most effective way. This is about making your life interesting and fun. This is about bringing the most life to yourself and others. Breaking the Seduction Code ©

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So now that we have cleared away all the cobwebs of society’s values and beliefs about dating, we can create a reality that works for us without the fear that we might have experienced under the old rules of the game.

Why is it that women are so attracted to the adventurous and dangerous type of man? Why is it that women seem to be attracted towards some men that we might call jerks? After many years of studying the psychology of women and seduction and the theory of romance novels, I have come up with some ideas. These ideas may not be completely true or false because theories about people are simply not in black and white or totality. I only use them to help you gain understanding of what is going on inside the female fantasy mind. If you will begin to look at this fantasy mind as I do, I think you will get some benefit from it. We, as men, have a tendency to stay in one character. We like to experience who we are and don’t vary too much from it. We may have a tendency to identify with the sport star, or a movie star, but that’s about it. Our range of emotions is very small compared to a woman’s. Women have an extremely wide range of emotions available to them. Not only do they have a wide range of emotions available to them, they like to use them in real life. Women like to exercise and feel as many emotions as possible. Emotions equal life to women.


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139 So if women have all these experiences and emotions that they can feel, and want to feel, then how do they do it? They are able to take the mental position and role of the person experiencing that emotion. So when they are reading a romance novel, they are experiencing the emotions from every character in the book. So let’s say one of the characters is a man, and he is the romantic hero of the novel or movie. If I were to read that same book I would identify with one character and stick to it. If it were a Western, I would find the strongest character and stick with it. I would have no empathy or feelings from the perspective of any other character. But women look at this differently. They not only identify with the heroine of the novel, they identify with the romantic hero. They actually pretend in their fantasy that they are also the hero. The women identify with both the male and female characters in the fantasy. They do this simultaneously. This means that when women read about the love scenes, they can go back and forth between being the one being made love to, and the one making love. Women aren’t just satisfied being made love to. They want the experience of making love, too. So in the context of a master seducer, you can bet your bottom dollar that the woman is going back and forth between her role and the role you are playing just as she does when she is reading a novel or watching a movie. The more powerful and meaningful you make your role, the more exciting it is for her, and the more she wants to play it with you.


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140 She wants to seduce and be seduced at the same time. It doesn’t mean that her behavior will change, but in her mind she is acting out your role as well as hers. You will be seducing her in a way that she wants to be seduced. When we watch a movie that has a lot of adventure in it, we can identify with the character that is doing stunts that we would never do in our own lives. We can experience the emotion from our imagination and still be safe. We can pretend that we are the killer. We can pretend that we are the lover. We can pretend that we are the president. And still be safe in our seats. Well women look forward to that every chance they get. If you are somebody who has a sense of danger or risk, and she can experience that through you, without it affecting her directly, she will most likely take the opportunity to step into your character to experience it. She will get a sense of the power and the emotions that you feel from playing that character. So she gets some of the energy that you spill and project yourself, and she gets the experience and emotions from putting herself into your shoes. The juicier you make your role the better time she has! Now we can understand why women sometimes like to be around jerks. They get to experience what it would be like to be a jerk, without having to be one. And at the same time, they can be a victim in the eyes of the world because of how you treat them.

Let Them Try On Your Role! While men are famous for trying to fix things on the external, light trucks, cars, computers, stereos etc. etc., women like to fix and resolve the feelings on the Breaking the Seduction Code ©

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141 inside. They like to do it for themselves and for others. They can take on the feelings of another person and then figure out what that person needs to feel better. The woman can borrow from other characters in her mind to produce the feelings that she needs to help integrate the dilemma inside herself or others. She likes the challenge of integrating the male and female parts of herself. A lot of romance novels are about a woman being stuck in a situation with a wild man, or jerk, or dangerous man. The main challenge to a woman is too be able to use her skills to tame the wild man or jerk or dangerous man into a one that can be a happy ending for both of them. The elements of this role-playing are: > Being stuck with someone > Her ability to transform him into someone that will make both him and her happy. The woman is essentially trying to merge the dichotomies of male and female into one. For that to happen there must be conflict. There must be challenge. Now you can begin to see why women are not attracted to the nice guy. They want to believe that they are the one responsible for you becoming a nice guy. Otherwise, there is not a requirement for them to use the skills that they have practiced all their lives. The nice guy gives them everything on a silver platter. That’s like saying you practice all your life to win the World Series, and you never get to play, but they give you a ring anyway. Just imagine winning the World Series and sitting on the bench the whole time never getting to play once. How much would that ring mean to you? As opposed to wearing that ring if you pitched a no-hitter. I think you get my point. Breaking the Seduction Code ©

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As a man you must know what the woman is up to. You must give her enough resistance to feel the challenge, and not too much resistance that she feels it’s impossible. Remember this is your game - this is your reality. You are letting her think that she is doing all the work. And you can give her a crumb now and then that lets her know its working. Don’t give her too much or you take her challenge away. Just keep her enough into the game to be an active participant. She gets a lot of value in believing that she has the ability to do this. If you don’t make the “game” exciting enough, she will make it exciting by causing problems elsewhere. If you don’t take control of the game and the roles that are being played, she will. And it may not be games that you will like. You must give her credit in direct and indirect ways, for playing both the male and female roles. The qualities that she has that come from the masculine side are her honor, her courage, her tenacity, her persistence. If she is taking on the role of a male in her mind, then we must acknowledge the qualities that she is developed from taking on that role. At the same time we must always acknowledge her feminine qualities of being kind and gentle and compassionate and forgiving.

Use The Energy of Contrast A woman constantly uses the process of contrast. She takes two opposing things in life and fuses them into one. Why not use this process. Why not identify the conflicts with her and then acknowledge a fusion of the two that satisfies both of you. Breaking the Seduction Code ©

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So let me give you an example of how this works. I was recently seeing a woman that had some control issues. She liked to control everything around her. She also wanted to control how our relationship started and would continue. I used my master seducer skills to turn this around on her to create a contrast for her to resolve. She wanted me to be the nice little boy that did all the socially acceptable things to get her to fall for me. So, I began to write her letters from the perspective of her chasing me. I said I hoped she wasn’t one of those psycho stalking women. I also told her that I wasn’t going to give her my phone number for at least one month until I was sure she was worth it. I told her that I had many women that wanted me and that she would have to really be up on her game to even get into my mind. I told her that she would not be getting any gifts or dinners from me, either. As a matter of fact, I told her that she would have to do that for me if she wanted a chance with me. I also told her that no matter how much she begged I would not give her sex right away. I told her that if she treated me well I might consider it somewhere in the future. There were many other things that I wrote in this e-mail to her, but I think you can get an idea of what I am saying and the perspective that I was coming from. I turned the cards around on her to create a contrast. I became that controlling beautiful woman that gets everything she wants and is not afraid to say so. It was extremely compelling to her because she recognized the pattern - it was hers. But now it gets real exciting to her because she could learn to play the Breaking the Seduction Code ©

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144 opposite role and experience what it felt like from the other end of the spectrum. It was something that she only considered from her fantasies, and now I was putting the bait on the hook to see if she would bite. I created a context for her to come out and play in her deepest fantasies. I made it very safe for her to do this through the e-mail. My intent was to build up as much of her emotional fantasies as possible so they would continue in real life. I found out from one of her co-workers that she was offended and upset at first. Then she found out from that same someone that this was a part of my sense of humor. She found out I was playing with her. So she took the bait. She wrote me back an amazing e-mail from the perspective of a woman that wanted to do all those things for me. She actually took the stalker type role. We e-mailed back and forth many times building up these emotions between us. At one point, some of things she was saying were pretty intense and I asked her if she was serious. She said yes. It had gotten past the point of fantasy and was now something that felt so good in her body that she wanted to, and felt safe to, bring it into reality. We carried the conversation to the phone, which got even hotter. She told me that she had been waiting all her life to feel these feelings. She said she forgot about the possibility of feeling these things until I woke them up inside of her. She said she had never felt so sexual or so womanly in her life. Now guys, imagine what this is going to feel like when a “10” talks to you in this way. You cannot tell me at this point of the book that any work that you may have to do to get to this level of confidence is not worth this result! Breaking the Seduction Code ©

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When we finally did get together, it was awesome. I kept playing my role, and she kept playing hers. We spent an awesome weekend together. I will let you imagine the rest. Just imagine….

Changing Your Character and Why You’d Want To Now there was a point in the relationship that I realized I did not want to continue with the relationship. There were too many things that were not lined up in our lives to go on. At one point, I told her that I wanted to break it off, and she freaked out on me. I thought she might do something stupid, she was so freaked out. So I am about to reveal to you a secret way that will get you out of just about any relationship that you want out of…except for a few psychos, that I hope to God you don’t get involved with. I realized as a master seducer that the emotions I helped create would have to be turned off by her. So I began the journey of changing what she thought of me by changing my role. I figured if the master seducer role got me in this deep, then surely a nice guy, wimp, would get me out. Sure enough it did. I started to become a wimp extraordinaire. I became needy and clingy. I couldn’t make a decision. And I started to let her know how much I was in love with her, and wanted to marry her, and wanted her to have my children. Even though her tubes were tied, I started discussing ways we can get around it. Breaking the Seduction Code ©

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Well that’s all it took. It wasn’t but a few days before she was thinking about going back with her husband who she had separated from six months earlier. She was so willing to let me go at that point, I think I could’ve gotten some money from her just to leave her alone. It was hilarious to me, how quickly she turned. I was once at a Barbara DeAngelus seminar. She is an expert on relationships. (Of course she has been married about six times. And one of those times to John Gray, the other famous relationship expert. Oh well!) I did get one profound piece of information from her. She said something to the effect that when women are in control of the relationship too much, and begin to act hostile towards the man, two things happen. The first is that the man starts to consider the woman in the mother role, and when a man considers a woman to be like his mother, he loses sexual attraction to her. What Barbara DeAngelus actually did was too put her finger straight up in the air, and then let it wilt or bend over, signifying a penis that has gone from hard to soft. There were over 1000 people in the room, mostly women, who started to laugh very loudly because they understood. The second thing that happens is that the woman being in the role of mother also loses sexual attraction towards the man. So if you consider the aspect of becoming a weak man and treating the woman like your mother, she will get turned off in a hurry and look for a way out - unless she never liked sex in the first place.


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Words of Love Get You Laid! One of the other things that turn a woman off to a man is his inability to express his love to her verbally. Man basically likes to express it physically, and thinks that by the physical action she will get it. Wrong! I must say, absolutely wrong. Now the key is not to express this too much or too early in the relationship. Make her work for it. Give her little bits and pieces along the way, but make them small. One of the reasons women love to watch romantic movies and read romance novels is because they experience the romantic words from both sides. They not only get to hear the romantic hero tell them what they mean to him, from playing the heroine’s role, she also gets to experience what the man feels like telling her those things from his perspective. Words in the right way mean so much to women that it can’t be understated. Words are so much more powerful from a confident master seducer than a weak male. It is a need in most women that goes unfilled. I find that women will go to extraordinary lengths to hear words of praise or understanding or comfort or acknowledgment. Too much of a good thing will turn them off. Not enough words and they may leave. But just the right amount of words…….ah!


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Teri Tells: The reason you should start small is because if you express your love in words too much in the beginning, she is going to think you are too nice or a needy wimp! Mark has already told you why this is not a good thing!

Action can express a caring and a certain meaning, but words, words can express the depth of meaning and emotion. Women want the words to be specific and persuasive; they want to know that your words carry weight also. They want to know that you specifically understand them and what they feel.


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Soap Operas When I was a kid and living with my father, his new wife used to make me sit and watch soap operas with her. Even if they were out of town, her friends who were babysitting me used to make me watch them, too. I got into them for a while, but they also kept me in emotional turmoil. As a man I really didn’t like it. But the women seem to thrive on them. I could not stand the Friday cliffhangers. It used to drive me crazy. But the women would thrive on the emotional tension from Friday to Monday. It seemed to give them some kind of energy. They loved it. They lived for it. They had to have it like an addiction. Once I stopped watching soap operas, I found that I was much more calm. And I noticed that if I began to be around a television that was showing a soap opera, I would get all tense and nervous. I wanted to get away from the television as quickly as possible. But the women were drawn to the TV, like a moth to a flame. I believe that being off-balance, and wondering, and tense from soap operas give women a very similar feeling, if not the same feeling, they get from being around a master seducer. If you think about it, the master seducer is doing the same thing with the woman as a soap opera does. > He keeps her off-balance, but not too far off-balance. > He keeps her wondering, but not wondering too much. Breaking the Seduction Code ©

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150 > And he keeps the tension, especially the sexual tension, at just the right heat. He knows the perfect temperature and timing for each woman. Even though most men do not like the drama that most women like, we must be able to create a sense of drama for them. We don’t necessarily have to feel it in our bodies, but we must be proficient at creating enough drama so that she sees us as a challenge and exciting. Enough of a challenge and exciting enough to tune in on Monday to see the cliffhanger resolved. On Monday she gets to see if her analysis is correct. And it doesn’t matter if it is her analysis of a soap opera or of YOU. The romance novel and the soap operas have an already made path in her mind and her emotions. You might as well use something that is a ready in existence instead of trying to form new pathways.

Teri Tells: I’m going to have to beg to differ. I love romance novels but I HATE soap operas. Soap operas move TOO slowly. I can begin watching one I haven’t seen in years and know what is going on in less than one show. Keep that in mind – some women don’t want things to move as slowly as a soap – some of us are more in tune with an adventurous romance movie!

I once asked a geologist about where to go to find gold. He told me that I should go where gold has already been found. He said, “You don’t go trying to find gold in new places. Use the maps that others have already plotted out - the maps where gold has been found.”


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151 In the same sense, you want to use the methods of master seducers and how they get into the minds and hearts of women. They have discovered the routes already - the naturally occurring routes. Not only the naturally occurring routes in women, but they have discovered their own routes that are naturally occurring in themselves as men and master seducers. It is in all of us. We just have to find it. And it is much easier to use the maps of those who have found it before us. Why reinvent the wheel? Don’t have any master seducers around to ask? Another thing you can do is ask women what they find so appealing about romance novels and soap operas. Or you might want to get specific with them about certain shows or books that they really liked. When you find out that kind of information, you get pretty specific information about them. What that information does is identify major points of interest on her map. It is like looking at a map for a vacation where you have picked specific points interest that would be fun and exciting to visit. When you have plotted them out and planned your route, you don’t think about the points in between those places you want to visit. Your main energy and focus becomes where you’re going. And you begin to think about and fantasize what it’s going to be like. When you ask a woman questions about romance novels or soap operas or any drama for that matter, you begin to plot out her internal points of interest. Remember these points. They will become very useful to you if you decide to pursue any kind of relationship with her. Each of us has a different map and points of interest.


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152 If you were excited about going to Yellowstone National Park, and someone started talking to you about Glacier National Park, they would be more of a distraction. But if they decided to start talking about Yellowstone Park and they had been there, you would begin to listen more closely. You would listen more closely because they were now talking about something that was of interest you. In the same sense, when women talk about emotional or dramatic points of interest to them, they are giving you clues about how to get into their minds, hearts, and emotions. These keys will bypass most of the social structures she may have put up against you, or any man. It gets you in the door, and if you’re good enough, it keeps you there. Here is a very important point. The closer you can get to emotions that are similar to those experienced in romance and love or sex, without talking about them directly, the more chance you have of hooking up her internal feelings to you. Just like when Pavlov’s dogs were trained to respond to a bell, you are training her heightened emotions to respond around you. If you can get a woman to keep responding in highly pleasurable ways, with high tension, her unconscious mind will begin to associate you as the cause of these emotions. Her unconscious mind and her conscious mind will begin to find reasons to be around you and to experience even deeper emotions and tension, and your presence. Once you have some rapport with her, you can begin to talk about some of her deeper emotions by talking about those scenes in a soap opera or romance novel - scenes like lovemaking and the tension that builds before. When you talk about it from the standpoint of a book or movie, you are not directly asking her to experience those emotions. But when Breaking the Seduction Code ©

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153 she begins to think about what those scenes mean to her, she can’t help but access the emotions. They will begin to rise in her. Once again, the more intense emotions you can have her access around you, the more chances are that her unconscious mind will figure out that you are the reason for those emotions. Then the unconscious mind finds ways of wanting you around to create more for her.

Men Say and Women Imply This is a good time to talk about implication. The implied message. This is important, so pay attention! Women do not like to be as direct in their communication as men. If a man wants a window to be closed, he is most likely going to say something like, “Hey, will somebody please shut the window?” A woman on the other hand may say something like, “Do you feel that breeze coming in from the window?” Or she may say, “It sure is getting cold in here.” If you are sitting next to that window, the message is for you. She is asking you in an implied and non-direct or indirect way if you would shut the window. A man might say, “Let’s go eat.” A woman might ask, “Are you hungry?” They both want to go eat; they just have different ways of saying it. We as master seducers need to use the implied language to access and use the already made pathways and maps in her mind and heart. I will tell you a few ideas. Breaking the Seduction Code ©

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I have a friend who we will call John. John is a master at the implied message. He uses it very well to his advantage with women. You must realize that most women are not prepared for a man to be proficient with the implied message. Her defenses for seduction from a man are mainly prepared for the direct message. She doesn’t have defenses prepared for the implied seduction. Most of the people in her life that talk to her, or she talks to, in the implied way, are women or gay men. So John recently told me about an experience he had at work that demonstrates this process beautifully. He said that there was a hot receptionist that started to work where he does. He said he had gained some rapport from small talk and working with her. And he decided to begin a little bit of implied seduction. He said he had purchased some new cologne that day that he knew, from other women, was very sensual. So he brought the new bottle of cologne and a little tester strip to the new receptionist. He said he sprayed a little bit on the tester strip and then asked her if she would give him her opinion on when she thought he should wear it. He asked her, “Do you think this cologne is too strong to wear in an intimate setting with a woman or do you think it would be more appropriate to wear when I am taking her to a romantic dinner at such and such restaurant?” She tells him how wonderful it smells and that he should feel comfortable wearing it in any situation. During this interaction, he implies many things to the woman about who he is. He tells her through that question that:


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155 > He cares about what she thinks > He will consider her opinions > he has an ability to choose quality things > He plans his intimacy > He likes to take women to romantic places > He is confident enough in his manhood to ask a woman her opinion about something personal > He is willing to adjust to please her, but not too much She implies back to him that she is interested in him in any situation. He then tells her that he feels some kind of connection with her and asks her if it is just him. She tells him is not just you. She tells him she feels it also. John said that she fanned her self as if she was hot and walked away. When a man talks around a subject instead of directly to a subject, it creates a tension between him and a woman that suggests intimacy. Plus, it shows that you are willing to dance with her in implied communication. Here is something you can try. If you are in an intimate setting with a woman, begin to talk about eating a piece of chocolate. First you want to tell her about what the chocolate looks like, then the smell of the chocolate, and how much you enjoy that smell. Then you want to tell her about the anticipation of the first bite. Then tell her about the feeling of the chocolate against your lips before you bite into it. Then you might want to tell her how the chocolate melts in your mouth and the texture of it when you swallow. Then the taste that is left in your mouth, and your anticipation of the next bite.


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156 What do you think you would be implying to her about how you like to enjoy chocolate? A man might say, well that’s how I eat chocolate. But a master seducer knows that he is implying many things to her about his enjoyment of pleasure. The woman begins to put herself in the role of the chocolate. She imagines herself being enjoyed with that kind of passion. And the master seducer, while explaining how to eat chocolate, is really telling her how he is going to make love to her. I have used the chocolate metaphor along with others and have gotten amazing results. Many times the woman will ask the questions like; “Tell me how you will lick the icing off that cake again.” Or, “What will you be doing with your tongue while eating the chocolate?” She knows what she is asking me. And I know what she is asking me. But I continue to play the implied game because she is playing without any defenses. She does not have to take any social responsibility for talking about something like sex. But she can talk about sex all day long when she talks about things like chocolate or food. Or any process that parallels or mirrors pleasure. Another thing that John does intentionally is to always be the last one to finish his meals. He starts off eating at a regular pace, then he really gets into it, then he begins to slow down and take his time. Sometimes he will let the plate sit in front of him with a few morsels of food left on them. It is funny to watch the women around this.


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157 At first they get curious about why he is taking so long. Then after the waitress has tried to take his plate several times and he tells the waitress, “No no, I am still enjoying this meal and savoring these last few bites,” the woman begins to feel the tension, and begins to wonder when he will finish it. I’ve heard women many times say to him, “Why you don’t just hurry up and finish it?” And John just looks at them directly and smiles with a smirk, and says, “Let me enjoy my meal, and I will finish what I am ready.” John has created a game that not only builds tension in women, but also it shows women the kind of lover he is in an implied way. That is his intent. And he keeps doing it until sure that the woman understands at an unconscious level. The whole time John never lets on directly what he is doing. As a matter of fact, I have seen women call him on that. And then I watch John deny it vehemently with a straight face. And then when the pressure and attention are at a peak, he gives them a boyish smile and looks straight at them. It is hard to translate the power of this kind of implication on paper. And it is amazing to watch in person. Another thing my friend John does to create tension in a woman is too tell her that he will be right back. He walks away from her and begins to talk to someone else in plain view of her. Woman or man or both. He stays a little bit longer than is comfortable, but not too long to upset her. Again another way to create sexual tension. If you think about the whole seduction process, it is really all implied.


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158 Your confidence implies things about you. Your language implies things about you. The way you dress, the way you stand and hold yourself, the way you look at a woman, the way you smile, etc. etc., they all imply something about you to the woman. When you maintain your status as a strong man and at the same time learn to communicate in her language of implication, you become irresistible. I was brought up by a mother and grandmother that came from England. The English are well skilled and masters at implication. Watch any good English drama, and you will see and learn much about implication. Watch any James Bond movie and you will see the master of masters at implication. In fact, I highly recommend you watch any James Bond movie with Roger Moore. He exemplifies a master of implied seduction.

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Men have a tendency to think big when it comes to love or seduction. They think that when they can buy the woman a new house or new furniture or a new car etc. etc., that then they can show the woman how much they care or love her. Sometimes a woman can get more meaning, and you’ll get more recognition, from a complement or a card, than you could get from a new set of furniture. The timeline for women is way too long when it comes to the big things. If you have a lot cash and can buy the big things all the time, that’s a different story. But women are very insecure and need some kind of smaller reassurance on a


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159 constant basis. You must develop small things and medium-size things to fill in the gaps between the big things. Sometimes it’s a box of chocolates; sometimes it’s a card: sometimes it’s flowers. But sometimes it’s just sitting there paying attention to her. As a matter of fact most of the time it’s paying attention to her. But as we discussed before, you don’t want to give her too much and you don’t want to give her too little. This is not like fixing something that is broken on your car, and it is done. A woman fluctuates dramatically in her emotions throughout a month. You must be able to maintain a steady behavior that not only satisfies yourself as a man and a master seducer, but keeps her interested also. As an example, I have a lady that I deal with in business. She puts on trade shows, which I attend as an exhibitor. When the shows are not booked, she is very nice and accommodating. She will do just about anything to get me into the show. As the shows get more booked with exhibitors, her attitude changes. She becomes very arrogant and even obnoxious. Even though I can’t stand having to deal with that major of the shift of behavior, if I want to make some money, I must adjust. In a different context I might tell her where to go. But I don’t have that option if I want what she is selling. In the world of seduction you want to take a woman through as many different contexts as possible. You don’t want to find out at a later date, when you’re more committed, that she becomes different people in different contexts. Breaking the Seduction Code ©

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We all have some kind of variance between in our behavior in different situations. It is the women who have a big variance, or a big shift, that we want to watch out for and have nothing to do with - unless you like to suffer. Always be on the look out for that hidden psycho. Try to smoke out that part of her before you have too much at stake.

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My friend Collin, who wrote the poem in the beginning of this book, is one of those seduction masters. His forte is poetry. Collin is British. He is a good-looking guy that stays in pretty good shape. He is in his late forties. And he constantly attracts women in their twenties and thirties. Age becomes less and less of a factor when feelings are at work in a woman. Collin is extremely comfortable in his body. He loves to get up before groups of people and sing karaoke. He is not a great singer - he is a good singer. But it is the way he sings that makes women melt. He puts everything into it. He also is a fantastic dancer. He puts all his attention on the women and envelopes them in his dance. I was at a seminar one time with him. After the seminar was over, we all went out to have a few drinks, and a few laughs. Before you know it, he was up on stage singing karaoke. Then he was taking all the women he could to the dance floor and strutting his stuff. At one point he coerced a woman who was quite heavy into dancing with him. She had been sitting by herself. There was no one else on the dance floor at the time he took her out. Collin treated her like she was Cinderella. The way he Breaking the Seduction Code ©

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161 moved her round made her look like she was floating on air. What I noticed was how all the other women were looking at him. Some of the women had tears in their eyes. That girl probably hadn’t been treated like that in a long time. Think about the implied message to all the other women in the room. He was sending a message that he was not blocked by their appearances. Many women know that when they get older they may not look as good as they do now. They may even gain some weight. And Collin showed them that they had nothing to fear if they were with him. When he got back to the table, the women were all over him. The heavy girl looked like a new person. She was changed after that. We all noticed her change in the seminar in the following days. But the other women had fallen for Collin much more. The best part of Colin’s seduction process is his poetry. Poetry is a beautiful way to get an implied message through directly to a woman’s heart. Poetry has no defenses in a woman. She will be wide open when you were reciting a poem. I have never seen a deeper trance, as a hypnosis therapist, than what some of the women experience when Collin was reading them poetry. Most of the poetry was his. He had memorized all of it. And because he had memorized it, he was able to look at them in the eye, and access his emotions while reciting it. He didn’t have to read it from paper and not

Teri Tells: I think that what is REALLY going on has as much to do with Collin’s eye contact as Breaking theInSeduction © he dances 161he – anything else. the same Code way that with a woman, or sings to her, © 2005, Mark J. Ryan, All Rights Reserved

engages her with his eyes and his body when he recites poetry. She probably feels www.SeductionCode.com

like she is the only person in the room when he looks at her that way. I’ve never Contact Mark at [email protected]

met Collin, but just knowing he makes such intense eye contact while reading poetry makes me want to!

162 pay attention to them. He could fully put his attention on them because it was memorized. I am telling you the effects that this man had on women with his poetry is incredible. It reminded me of some of those dreamy eyed teenagers in the movies when they see a rock star or Brad Pitt. They really look like that. I watched their eyes glaze over and get glassy. Signs of a deep trance! They made different sounds like oohs and ahhs, and pleasurable moans. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. And I saw it happened many times in many different contexts with many different women. It worked every time. I remember being out at a restaurant with all the members from the seminar. It was funny watching different groups of women trying to get Collin’s attention at different tables. He was going from table to table telling poetry. They surrounded him like little girls would surround their father waiting to tell them a story. And the funny thing is, Collin would treat them like they were little girls, or little children, he was telling a story to.

I would highly recommend learning and memorizing your own poetry. Or at least some learn some Rumi or other great romantic poets’ work. And memorize it. Make sure that the poetry affects you at a deep level. Because when you access that deep level yourself and then recite the poetry to her, you transfer the depths of who you are in the poetic words. It is the quickest way in that I know. “Those who bring sunshine into the lives of others cannot keep it from themselves”—J.M. BARRIE Breaking the Seduction Code ©

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Time Factor I was it at another seminar one time and one of the exercises was to look at the woman across from you, and they were to look at you with the thinking that this person was the love of your life. The instructor pointed out a friend of mine and the girl he was looking at. They kind of had a thing going outside of the classroom also. They were flirting. The instructor looked at my friend and said that he could see in his eyes that he could only look at this woman and see a temporary relationship. He said to my friend that he was the kind of guy that only looks to a woman for the temporary rewards. He said that the girl that he was looking at would never go for a relationship with him because she could see that he wasn’t looking deep enough inside her. The instructor then said something profound that really affected my friend. The instructor wanted my friend to look at this woman as if there was going to be no other woman for 25 years. My friend said he knew that he had been found out at that point. He knew that he had never made a decision to look at a woman that deeply - not ever. He always left a door open - a sort of escape hatch. I learned a lot with that statement also. I think all the men in the room learned something with that statement. There was silence in the room for a long time. I could sense that the women were all relieved that a man understood this principle. This technique involves you going back and forth between being with this woman for a few minutes and for 25 years. Just practicing Breaking the Seduction Code ©

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164 looking at a woman like this will dramatically affect her. The women will notice right away what you are doing. They may not consciously get it, but trust me something deep inside of them will get it. Something deep inside of them will feel it. You don’t wanna hold onto the 25-year view for too long at first. You want to give her a taste of it, and then taken away. When you’re touching her with the 25-year view, imagine that you are touching her like a silk nightgown or lingerie might gently touch her body. You’ll need to determine how quickly and how often you hold that in your mind and body while looking at her. Each woman will be affected at a different level. This technique is very powerful.

WARNING: Do not do this too long to woman that you don’t consider as a long-term possibility. Interaction of Seduction One of the main things we accomplish with the play and interaction of seduction is the process of bringing out the most meaningful aspects of ourselves in the other person. Seduction creates a wonderful context for us to learn about our deepest identity as lovers. It is a way for us to keep being fulfilled. It is a context that works on the fulfillment of those deeper emotions simultaneously. It is the idea of sharing that depth with someone else in your presence.

How many times can you think of peak experiences in your life? Times when you had an extraordinary emotional peak.? Breaking the Seduction Code ©

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And then think about how different and better the world looked afterwards. I think of how parents of a newborn see the world differently. When you go through those peak emotions simultaneously with a woman, it is like a contract between the two of you. You now both can view the world from the deep place you have both created. You both agree to explore your deepest identities together. You agree to make a safe fun and exciting place for the other one to explore that side of themselves, and they agree to do that for you. Now just imagine if we are able to do that with many emotions in many different contexts. We are giving a woman a chance to experience her world through her best possible emotional and physical eyes. We are adding immense value to her life. That is what we have to offer as master seducers. That’s what women ultimately buy. It’s not about the looks; it’s not about the money. It’s all about the quality of the emotional life we can offer her. She gets to experience it as she really is. We help her fulfill that longing she has. What we are doing in actuality is creating the emotions in her that we want to experience ourselves. We are not trying to create the emotions directly. But through indirect finesse, we trigger all the elements within her that create an end result we want to be around. It is the emotion that we want aimed at us. So, we not only benefit her, we create an emotional context that she is freely willing to give to us.


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166 The way you make her feel inside trumps everything else. And every man can learn how to make a woman feel. Remember, she already has these programs in her nature. We don’t have to build the emotions. We only have to access them. We only have the access the process that creates those emotions in her. Essence of the Movie “Swept Away” Finally I want to talk about a movie that puts all this together. It is a movie that was originally made in 1974. It was written and directed by a woman - remember that when I’m explaining the movie. Remember that when you watch the movie. I highly recommend that you get this movie. It is well worth the money you will pay. The movie is called, “Swept Away.” I am talking about the original 1974 Italian subtitle movie. Not the new Madonna version. It was OK to watch, but it lost the essence and the depth of the original. The movie requires a lot of attention because of the subtitles. You gotta read and watch at the same time. Trust me, though; it is well worth the effort. The movie is about a rich Italian couple that takes their yacht out into the Mediterranean for a weekend. They have a crew of Italian men on board. The wife of the yacht owner and rich businessman is the main character of the movie. She is bitching and complaining about everything. She is never satisfied and she never shuts up. The husband tries, without success, to argue back with her. She wins every argument and everything else she lets slide right off. She is a very high maintenance woman. There is one Italian crewmember who really despises her. The woman senses his hate and decides to make his life even more miserable. Her spaghetti is not Breaking the Seduction Code ©

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167 cooked right. Her coffee is cold. He smells and she wants him to change his shirts all the time. He is to the point of yelling at her. He so mad he can’t think straight. She decides that she wants to go swimming at a late time of the day. She wants to go to one of the island beaches close to the boat. Everyone warns her not to go but she insists, and she insists on the Italian crewmember to bring her. He warns her, too. But she is too stubborn and decides to go. Along the way the motor of the boat breaks and they get stuck at sea. After a few days of floating they end up on a deserted island. She tries to assert her dominance over him on the island. He realizes how far away from everything they are, and chances are they will never be found. So he makes a determination right then and there not to put up with any more of her B.S. he tells her that he is going to do his own thing and she can do hers. At first she agrees to it, but then she realizes that she is incapable of surviving on the island by herself. He, on the other hand, is very comfortable with the concept. She keeps trying to get him to do her bidding by threatening him. After a while she tries to bribe him. Then she tries to make him feel guilty. Then she starts to beg him. All the time he is staying in his Alpha male state of mind. He never gives in to her manipulations. Finally, after much begging, he makes her kiss his hand and call him master. He makes her wash his underwear. He slaps her around and pushes her. (Remember this is a woman who made the movie). He basically makes her into his slave if she wants to survive. He takes the position that this is his island and he is the King. He is getting her back for his mistreatment aboard her yacht. Breaking the Seduction Code ©

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Once all her tests are over and she realizes that it’s futile to try to manipulate him, she submits to being his servant. At first she wasn’t too happy about it, but once she got into the role she found her natural place. There is a magical point where she begins to like serving him. She actually talks about the fact that she feels this incredible primal attraction to him from playing this role. She says that she was meant to play this role. She was created to do this and to serve this man. She was intoxicated with the feelings that came with her behavior. He begins to realize that he likes the role also. He begins to feel like the man he always believed he was. He is past the point of revenge. He is now playing the role for the benefits he is receiving from her response to him. At one point he begins to rape her. She fights him off. He overpowers her and then tells her to admit to the feelings she is having and how much she really wants him. She still fights him off and denies it. He persists and she finally succumbs and admits that she wants him. He then makes her beg him to make love to her. She is confused at first and then begins to beg him. He gets up and walks away and says no. He says no sex without love first. He tells her that until he is convinced that she loves him, he is not going to make love to her. She finally proves to him that she loves him. At one point she is gathering driftwood for the fire along the beach and she sees a passing ship. She starts to flag down the ship and then stops. She runs back to Breaking the Seduction Code ©

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169 the man and tells him that she did not wave the ship down because she didn’t want to leave the situation that they had. He slaps her and tells her that he makes all decisions and that she better let him know and make the decision next time. She smiles at him, kisses his hand, and apologizes and says she will never do it again. At a later time, another boat begins to go by. She sees it and does nothing, but as she looks up on the top of the hill she sees him noticing the boat also. He immediately begins to start a fire to let the boat know where they are. She runs to where he is and begs him, while crying, not too do this. She vehemently defends them staying right where they are. She says she has never been happier in her life, and knows she will never be as happy again back in society. She says she knows the reason she was created to be a woman was to serve him and that she didn’t want to give that up. Now if you want to find out what happens at the end of this movie you’ll have to get it!!! This movie shows the dramatic change in the woman when the man decides he is going to be who he really is. His strength in that position caused her to have to adjust. Because she did not know what was in store for her, she fought it. But once she discovered what was waiting for her, she immersed herself in the role. Now here is the key. She received a biological reward for that behavior that was totally intoxicating to her - or any woman for that matter.


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Remember a woman wrote this movie and directed it. Why would a woman choose to write and direct a movie like this? All the reviews of the movie at the time were very positive. What was she trying to say? I can tell you one thing - the feminists of today would have a fit over this movie. And another thing - why did Madonna not only make this movie, but wanted to lead role in the movie? My opinion is that she totally identified with the powerful woman in this movie and wanted to live her fantasy of feeling the change that the woman in the movie felt. Madonna doesn’t have any men in her life that can dominate her. But that doesn’t stop her biology from desiring it. When I watch this movie years ago, I could feel the transition in myself. I could feel and imagine myself being that man. The reward of having a woman treat me that way is my fantasy as a man. I’m sure that most men feel the same deep down but may be afraid to admit it. This movie is a perfect way, and a safe way for any man to experience the transition. I’m telling you, this movie will do something to you at a deep level. Every man that I have gotten to watch the movie had some kind of shift in positive way. This movie in no way is about the kind of seduction that we are talking about in this book. What the movie demonstrates at a deep level is the process that happens at an animal level in human beings. So even though we have social systems in place for interaction between men and women, there is an underlying theme and archetype that exists below the surface. Breaking the Seduction Code ©

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If you keep your attention on the underlying theme and adjust your behavior for the social culture you are in, you will find yourself triggering in yourself and in women the feelings nature has built into us to be drawn into procreation. In our terms it is about lust and love. It is about how we get to the ends.


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I know, I could go on and on discussing about much more seduction secrets, but I feel whatever I have explained in this e-book is more than enough to ignite the spark. Remember, a small spark in the spark plug of your car can make your car run for miles. You just have to understand the importance of an initial spark and then keep the process going on and on, until you get whatever you wished in your life. Let me make very clear that getting dates with women has nothing whatsoever to do with luck. If it did, then we'd all get the same number of dates and the law of averages would always ensure that we didn't have to wait too long before landing our next one. But, of course, it doesn't work like that. The guys who get the majority of female attention simply know the secrets of what women want. They use this information to their advantage by manipulating and seducing any woman they lay their eyes on. They also understand how to create a powerful attraction in every woman they meet. Once you can do this, the sky is the limit. You'll be able to meet, attract, and date as many women as you want - whenever you want. In the end, let me take the opportunity to summarize all the points (not tricks and techniques!) mentioned in this e-book and have a quick glance over the entire material discussed throughout the process. For sake of repetition, remember there are two different types of attraction: (1) Conscious attraction (2) Subconscious attraction Breaking the Seduction Code ©

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Most guys only use conscious attraction, and this is a big mistake because in order to be truly successful with women - you have to use BOTH types of attraction simultaneously. Otherwise, you're playing the game with only half a deck of cards, leaving you at a serious disadvantage. Once you discover how to use conscious and subconscious attraction, you'll be amazed at how women start to treat you differently, and how they seem to be magically drawn to you. The more you move your confidence from your thoughts to your voice and your body, the more you’ll find yourself surrounded by women. And you’ll find that this magnetic quality works with men also. Men also will recognize you’re moving up the ladder of manhood. Every seducer that I know brought his whole being into the seduction process. I remember and noticed from myself, and many men I have worked with, that we used to only bring our head. We were too afraid to be confident enough to bring our bodies, and strength of totality. When we talked about being, all in, earlier, I also meant your body, your voice, your essence, your spirit. That means that when you are in the company of a whole woman; start to pay attention to what your belly thinks of this woman. Start to pay attention to your arms, your thighs, your feet etc. etc. If you want to think about it as a technique, it will probably be one of your most powerful exercises. In hypnosis we progressively asked the client to tense their muscles and then released them. In a technique that is called the body scan, we start with the toes and work up to the top of the head. Breaking the Seduction Code ©

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What this does for you in the seduction process is twofold. The first thing it does is take your attention away from your fear. It has an amazing ability to do that, even though it sounds simple. The next thing that happens is that when you do a body scan, you begin to relax. That is why we use it in hypnosis. It creates a focus of attention on your body. And when you are in your body, and out of your head, you begin to relax. With some practice, the process will become automatic. And with this loss of fear, and gaining of relaxation, you can begin to decide to feel the feelings of a master seducer. Remember to take one step at a time. Too big of a bite or chunk will cause you to shut down. But if you practice these techniques one at a time, you will find that before you know what it will happen automatically, and you can think about other things. It is just like learning your ABCs, or tying your shoe, or driving a stick shift car. At first, it consumed all your senses and thoughts. But progressively, as you stuck with it and were persistent, it became unconscious. And now like some people on the highway, they can listen to the radio, they can talk on the cell phone, they can put on makeup, they can eat, and still drive. Just think about all the things you’ll be able to do while carrying on a conversation with the woman that you could never do in the past. Trust me it is worth a little bit of effort. The benefits of practicing these techniques and learning this process, far outweighs the cost. You will understand it better once you have succeeded a few times.


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175 Seduction to me is about using socially approved methods to move a woman at a deep emotional level, to desire me as a mate to procreate with and raise children. I think it is awesome that we have the ability to create a game that can not only incorporate the biological process, but can also add a social and spiritual factor into the process. The man that can make the process into the most exciting and fun adventure for a woman is the master seducer. And I personally wish nothing less than a master seducer in you. Finally, once you are well equipped with all the points, attributes and qualities discussed in the e-book, you will have to take well calculated risk to approach them wisely and confidently. Although, we admit they are complex, very hard to understand, and have been the biggest mysteries for centuries, but just bear in mind that they are human being like us and not monsters. So move on! I say it over and over: you can either take no risk with a woman and insure that you will fail with her, or take risks, one step at a time, creating the possibility of chemistry and a real connection and for sure you will get her in bed. There is no way out of taking risks with women. If you are still having trouble grasping the importance and magnitude of taking risks, here's what poet and playwright T.S. Eliot said about the subject: "But let me tell you, that to approach the stranger Is to invite the unexpected, release a new force, Or let the genie out of the bottle. It is to start a train of events Beyond your control." Breaking the Seduction Code ©

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Take the risk of interacting with women, today. You can't get rid of the risk. So take it. Let the genie out of the bottle, and something unexpected and truly cool can happen in your life. Best of luck guys, keep going!!


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