Narrative Therapy and Community Work in Singapore

RE-EXPERIENCING THE

Rojak “ ”

– N A R R AT I V E T H E R A P Y A N D C O M M U N I T Y WORK IN SINGAPORE

Re - experiencing the

- Narrative Therapy and Community Work in Singapore

List of Contributors Anny Rodjito Anny is a counsellor from AMKFSC Community Services Ltd. As a graduate of the Masters in Counselling programme from UniSIM, Anny has been active in using narrative ideas in both counseling and group work, where she has been instrumental in developing various programmes supporting women and children in the community. A poet at heart, Anny believes in the power of poetry and the written word to uncover alternative stories in the lives of people.

David Denborough, PhD David works as a community practitioner, teacher and writer/songwriter/dramaturge for Dulwich Centre. He is the author of several publications, which include Collective Narrative Practice: Responding to individuals, groups and communities who have experienced trauma and the editor of Trauma: Narrative responses to traumatic experience and Family therapy: exploring the field’s past, present and possible futures. His recent community and teaching assignments have taken place in Palestine, Israel, Kurdistan (Iraq), Sri Lanka, Denmark, Spain, Austria, Singapore, Thailand and a range of Aboriginal communities.

Elizabeth Quek Elizabeth Quek is a social worker who works in the Bukit Merah Community. She loves collaborating with others to think about practices that create space for empowerment and social action. Elizabeth believes in the need to constantly question social norms and ideas that could be oppressive to people who experience poverty. She believes strongly in bringing sociopolitical contexts to the work, where narrative ideas can influence ways of working with familiesto work with families in socially just ways. Elizabeth is a graduate of the inaugural Master in Narrative Therapy and Community Work Programme from the University of Melbourne, where she was part of the Singaporean team presented with the Salome Raheim Award from Dulwich Centre, Adelaide, for her efforts to uncover power and privilege in her practice.

Esther Tzer Wong Esther Tzer Wong, M. Soc. Sci. (NUS) is currently a Senior Lecturer with TCA College, teaching the Postgraduate Diploma in Counselling as well as the M. A. in Counselling. Having trained as a social worker since 1980, she has been involved in counselling couples and families as a Senior Therapist with the Counselling and Care Centre (1981-88) and was formerly the Executive Director of St. Andrew’s Lifestreams, an agency set up under the St. Andrew’s Mission Hospital

(1998-2006). She was also the Founder-President of Society Against Family Violence (1991-94) and continues to counsel individuals and families recovering from trauma and abuse. She is a certified Narrative Therapist, having obtained her Grad. Cert. in Narrative Therapy in 2012. She is a certified Narrative Therapist, having obtained her Grad. Cert. in Narrative Therapy in 2012, and her Master of Narrative Therapy and Community Work in 2016.

Fazlinda Faroo Fazlinda Faroo is currently the Centre Manager of PPIS Vista Sakinah. She is a social worker with more than 20 years experience of working with families and youths in the community. Fazlinda’s passion lies in programme development, training and research in the social service sector, where her expertise includes intervention in the areas of grief and loss, remarriage and stepfamilies, with added specialisations in working with Malay Muslim communities. Fazlinda has a Masters in Social Work from Monash University, a Postgraduate Diploma in Social Research (Sociology) from the National University of Singapore (NUS), and an Honours Degree in Social Work and Psychology from NUS. She is also certified in Narrative Therapy.

Guan Jiaying Jiaying is a social worker from THK Tanjong Pagar Family Service Centre. She works mainly with families affected by financial concerns, using narrative ideas to help them externalize their difficulties and also identify empowering ways of working with her clients. Jiaying is a graduate from the inaugural Master in Narrative Therapy and Community Work Programme from the University of Melbourne. Jiaying was part of the Singaporean team from the Masters programme to have been presented with the Salome Raheim Award from Dulwich Centre, Adelaide, for uncovering practices of power and privilege in her practice.

Isaac Teo Lai Huat Isaac Teo is a Social Worker working in the community. He used to work with families staying in the Interim Housing Rental estates. His work revolves around individuals and families from a spectrum of needs in the community. Currently Isaac is continuing his interest in community work under the AMKFSC Community Service. His role focuses on building assets within community and to monitor families through indicative stressors specifically for each of the families. His work also places high emphasis on the work with the children through the approaches of using support programmes to address and encourage mutual learning among children from within the community. Isaac was the recipient of the Promising Social Worker Award in 2015.

Joy Ong Shu Xin Joy Ong is a Senior Counsellor and Child-Centered Play Therapist who has been working with children, youths and families for more than 10 years in both community and hospital settings. Her clinical experience involves working in psycho-oncology cancer centre, family service centres, psychiatric settings and juvenile homes. Joy is also part of the panel of assessors under the National Council of Problem Gambling for applications for casino exclusions and visit limits.

Joy has a special interest in working with young persons with mental health concerns, parentchild attachment difficulties, as well as children or youths experiencing illnesses, death, grief and loss. She works very closely with parents to support these children in the healing process. Joy holds a Master in Counselling (AUS), and uses narrative ideas, mindfulness, art and playbased interventions in her work.

K Shantasaravanan K Shantasaravanan Shan is a social worker from AMKFSC Community Services. He is a proponent of working collaboratively with people affected by difficulties, and believes that Narrative ideas are able to support this philosophy. Shan has been involved in various Narrative projects both in Singapore and abroad.

Lanny Santoso Lanny is a Senior Counsellor with Fei Yue FSC (Yew Tee). She has a Master Degree in Social Science (Counselling) from Edith Cowan University, and also a Master in Narrative Therapy and Community Work from The University of Melbourne. She is a registered social service practitioner and has been doing counselling and casework since 2008. Lanny has been practicing narrative ideas since 2007 when she attended a Narrative Therapy conference that was held in Hong Kong.

Mohamed Fareez Bin Mohamed Fahmy Fareez is a social worker at AMKFSC Community Services. He has a Master in Social Sciences (Social Work) from the National University of Singapore, and a Master in Narrative Therapy and Community Work from the University of Melbourne. Fareez has keen interests in the areas of incorporating narrative and strength-based ideas in social work practice with individuals, groups and communities. Fareez was the recipient of the Promising Social Worker Award in 2011, and the Prime Minister Social Service Award in 2012.

Prema Mohan Prema Mohan is a registered social worker who has been in the social service field for more than 10 years. She graduated with a Masters in Social Science (Social Work) from the National University of Singapore. Prema works mainly with families facing multiple stressors in the community.

Sharon Sng Mrs Sharon Sng is a Principal Therapist with the Counselling and Care Centre. Since receiving postgraduate qualifications in counselling and supervision, she has been engaged in counselling, training and supervision in CCC for 14 years. Prior to her work in CCC, she had worked in the community setting at the family service centres for 7 years. In 2017, she graduated with a Master’s in Narrative Therapy and Community Work with the University of Melbourne. Her professional interests include using narrative ideas and practices to strengthen peoples’ preferred stories in the counselling and supervision contexts.

Contents 8

Acknowledgements 9

Preface

29 to 42

Chapter 3 Narrative Therapy in Mental Health Care – Building Connections and Stories with Children, Youths and Families Joy Ong Shu Xin

David Denborough

10 to 14

Chapter 1 Re-experiencing the Rojak: An Introduction to Narrative Ideas K Shantasaravanan

15 to 28

43 to 59

Chapter 4 The ‘Life Certificate’: A Tool for Grief Work in Singapore Mohamed Fareez

60 to 67

Chapter 2

Chapter 5

Applying Narrative Philosophy and Approaches to Counselling the Abused Esther Tzer Wong

Connecting with Non-Custodial Absent Fathers Through the Lens of Loss Fazlinda Faroo

68 to 83

123 to 159

Chapter 6

Chapter 1 0

A Narrative Approach in Responding to “Short of Cash” Guan Jiaying

The League of Parents and Small People against Pocket Kering – Acknowledging Skills and Knowledges for those who experience Financial Difficulties Elizabeth Quek

84 to 95

Chapter 7 Children’s Group Work on Stress Management Prema Mohan

160 to 173 96 to 110

Chapter 8 Narrative ideas in Group Work with Women Experiencing Domestic Violence Lanny Santoso

111 to 122

Chapter 1 1 Inviting the Preferred Stories in the Supervision Context Sharon Sng

174 to 176

Chapter 9

Chapter 1 2

The Mothers M-Powered Programme – Community Based Group Work with Mothers living in the Interim Rental Housing Estates Mohamed Fareez, Anny Rodjito, & Isaac Teo Lai Huat

Evaluation and Research of Narrative Practices K Shantasaravanan & Mohamed Fareez

8 Re-experiencing the ROJAK – Narrative Therapy and Community Work in Singapore

Community of Practice for Narrative Therapy and Community Work The Community of Practice (COP) for Narrative Therapy and Community Work seeks to showcase stories of local narrative practices in Singapore, and document these practices for sharing. It also seeks to create a peer support system for narrative practitioners to get inputs on the work they are doing with individuals, groups and communities.

Our COP Members Mohamed Fareez Lanny Santoso Josephine Overee Elizabeth Quek Esther Tzer Wong

Fazlinda Faroo Guan Jiaying Prema Mohan Joy Ong Shu Xin K. Shantasaravanan

Acknowledgements We would like to thank the Social Service Institute for all the support that has been rendered in the creation of this publication.

Illustration Book cover “Singaporean Rojak” by Tuan Nini


Preface by David Denborough

A

s I sat down to read this book, I imagined myself in Changi Village, where I have had the pleasure of staying a number of times. I pictured myself sitting down to dine with the authors, ready to feast not only on the delicacies of the local cuisine, but also to delight in the creativity and diversity of narrative practices that are now being developed in Singapore.

This book offers so many invitations to the reader: • to think beyond problem-saturated and pathologising discourses • to acknowledge not only the effects of abuse but also acts of resistance • to honour people’s own language and metaphors • to use the written word - therapeutic letters, documents, certificates, invitation cards - in re-grading ways • to respond to challenges (such as how to engage men who rarely see their children) in thoughtful, effective and profound ways • to delight in many creative mediums (video, puppetry, photography, imagery) • to find ways for our work to meaningfully acknowledge and engage with young people’s experiences of poverty and economic injustice • to consult children and enable them to share with each other their know-how in relation to stress and other difficulties of life • to create metaphoric practices that are resonant in our own contexts (e.g. the Apartment of Life) • to support relationships between mothers and children who have experienced the devastating effects of men’s violence • to resist the urge to ‘educate’ those with whom we work and instead to learn together • to explore how we can, through supervision, assist each other to co-author preferred professional identities • to develop ways of seeking feedback from those with whom we work in relation to how our privilege may have affected our conversations • to deconstruct histories of racial dominance and broader inequities • to consider how our work may be able to contribute to building the foundations for solidarity and poverty reduction social movement These are diverse and exhilarating invitations and challenges.

I have no doubt that this book will be read well beyond Singapore’s shores. The vivid examples of thoughtful practice will offer ideas to those working with families in many different communities. Even more significantly, I believe the example shown here by practitioners in Singapore to create their own forms of narrative practice will inspire and challenge those in other contexts to do similarly - to invent and improvise in order to develop culturally resonant practice - and in the process to reduce the likelihood of psychological colonisation. This book is a feast to savour. And once dinner is over, perhaps there will be time for a walk along Changi beach, or a ferry ride to Pulau Ubin – enjoy!


Chapter 1 Re-experiencing the ROJAK: An Introduction to Narrative Ideas

by K Shantasaravanan

Experiencing the ROJAK It may be apt to utilise the metaphor of “Rojak” as the starter in our journey of using narrative ideas in Singapore’s practice settings. The traditional fruit and vegetable salad dish, “Rojak” (Malay term Rojak as “mixture”) is first commonly described to be analogous to the “mixed” nature of Singapore’s multi-ethnic community. Likewise, this book represents a “mixture” of different ways of incorporating narrative ideas in practice and community work through the lens of practitioners from various settings. Our endeavour in this project is not to decry narrative ideas as superior to other perspectives and theories of counselling, psychology and social work practice. Instead, we seek to invite our readers towards opening up new possibilities of working with persons and communities that they come into contact with. It is also through this effort; we hope that our readers might start to explore narrative practices into the “Rojak” of their own respective ways of working.

A narrative approach to social service practice Let us elaborate further on the metaphor of “Rojak”. Imagine you are blindfolded as you tuck into this delicious (albeit spicy) dish for the very first time. You use a fork and first choose a slice of mango, followed by a slice of lime, and then a piece of green apple. If you are eating “Rojak” for the very first time, you might then decide that this is a sour dish. You might miss out the fact that Rojak is also made of sweet fruits such as pineapples, and savoury delicious treats like “youtiao” (fried fritter) and “taupok” (deep fried tofu). The above illustrated experience represents the essence of narrative practices. The “Rojak” can be seen as the collection of our life stories, and the different bits and pieces of food in it are like stories that we tell ourselves. These are stories that influence our understandings of who we are and what we do. Someone may see his/ her life story as a sour experience defined by events such as being bullied by peers


in school, being seen to be a disruptive teenager by teachers, and feeling worthless after being punished by the discipline mistress. Imagine if this same person were able to plot new events in her storyline, where she stood against bullying and as responded in a creative manner by courageously informing her teacher about it and perhaps finding an ally in her mother who believed in her. Then, these new storylines may aid in the creation of new meaning for her, who was affected by previous difficult life situations. The above illustrated story is an example of the work of a narrative practitioner who explores with his/her client on alternative perspectives to his/her problem saturated life situations. The essential purpose of a narrative approach is to build upon “preferred” storylines that exist beyond the problem story (transformation of problems through the restorying of problematics stories) It would be important to discuss the key principles and the pertinent assumptions that underlie the narrative ways of working before we delve into the various techniques employed in narrative approaches.

Principles and Assumptions in Narrative Practices A narrative approach privileges the stories of persons and communities who consult us. It seeks to be a respectful, non-blaming approach to social work practice, which centres people as the experts in their own lives. It views problems as separate from people and assumes people have many skills, competencies and knowledges to deal with their problems.

1. Our lives are multi-storied Life, its complexities and how it is lived is determined by the stories we tell. Stories are widely considered to be excellent sources of information to understand the lived experiences of individuals or groups of people. Michael White and David Epston (1990) talked about the idea of a multi-storied version of life. This allowed for flexibility in the interpretations of what a person might be and resisted an isolated or categorised story of a person.

2. Not knowing attitude Narrative practitioners are genuinely curious and are in search of a more complete and beneficial story of a person rather than seeing the person in limited ways defined only by his/her problems. The fundamental belief that each client is unique and their stories are worthy of being acknowledged and appreciated stems from being curious about a persons lived experiences. A “not knowing attitude”


thus facilitates having conversations with greater depth and provides a space for alternative stories to be entertained.

3. People are experts of their own lives Narrative approaches assume that people who go to helping professionals for consultation are skilful and competent and that they have many beliefs, values, knowledges, skills and abilities that can help to cope with their problems. Narrative practitioners treat people as experts in their own lives and does not place the themselves in the position of a trained expert with the sole possession of the knowledge necessary to “fix” the client’s problems. The practitioners employ a collaborative stance in journeying or co-working and exploring with the client in attempting to address the problem or issue the client might be facing in his/her live.

4. Dominant discourses Problems are constructed in cultural contexts. These contexts include power relations embedded in race, class, sexual orientation, gender and other social locations. The ways in which we understand our lives are influenced by the broader stories of the culture in which we live. The dominant discourses in our society powerfully influence what gets “storied” and how it gets storied. In narrative approaches, we seek to identify the discourses that support problematic stories. Practitioners can help people move from a place of being ‘marginalized’ to a place of respect and acknowledgment by inquiring about the relational and interactional means which the person came to know herself/himself in the problematic story.

5. Reality is socially constructed Narrative ideas originated from the work of Michael White and David Epston (1990), who drew from constructivist and social constructionist theories, where realities are socially constructed in the context of relationships and constituted through language (Freedman and Combs, 1996). Following this premise, narrative practitioners can work with clients by looking at how identities are shaped by social interactions especially with significant others.

Michael White developed maps of therapeutic inquiry (2007), which describe various practices, questions and techniques that are commonly associated with Narrative approaches. However, he also cautioned that any therapy that is conducted in a formulaic manner may be restrictive in terms of therapeutic effects.


Some techniques that are discussed in this book include: Externalising conversations – a process of inquiry that seeks to separate the problem from the person (White, 1995). The narrative practitioner would collaboratively work with the person to describe and identify a name for this problem. Adjectives such as “angry” and “sad” may be converted into nouns such as “the anger” or “the sadness” to place the problem outside the person. The practitioner can then proceed to ask questions of how long “the anger” had been influencing their lives, and evaluate its effects on the person’s life. This process creates the opportunity for problems to be richly understood to enable the persons to reclaim their lives from its effects (Russell & Carey, 2004) Re-authoring conversations – these conversations reflect a process where the practitioner works with the person to identify unique outcomes (White, 2007) and place them in storylines in the person’s life across time. For example, the practitioner could ask about how the person had used skills of “reflection” to keep “the anger” at bay. The practitioner can ask about times in the past where the person had been able to use this skill (landscape of action), and whether a specific event in the past had also made known other values, skills and knowledges (landscape of identity). Re-membering conversations – this process discusses key figures in the person’s life, and his or her contributions. This person can still be in the person’s life, or be someone who has passed on. Re-membering conversations also discuss the person’s own contributions to the figure, and what this figure might say about the skills, values and abilities that this person holds. For example, the practitioner can ask “What might your father appreciate about you that made him decide to spend time and effort to care for you?” Outsider witness practices – This is a process where people are able to share their stories to “outsider witnesses” (who may or may not be known to them). The outsider witness group then listens and responds to the stories towards thickening the preferred stories towards a richer sense of identity (White, 2007). Outsider witnesses do not give advice, but instead comment on what expressions stood out and resonated with them, as well as the impact of the person’s story on their lives. Therapeutic documents – The use of documents is prominent in narrative approaches (White and Epston, 1990; Freedman & Combs, 1996). Documents can be crafted collaboratively with practitioners, and can record preferred storylines that are observed to be emerging, as well as skills and knowledges that a person is able


to use against the effects of the problem (Fox, 2003). Documents can also be used to amplify and share alternative storylines to a wider group such as the community, and celebrate key achievements and transition points in a person’s life. The techniques discussed above are at best “thin” descriptions and do not describe the totality of narrative approaches in therapy and community work. Narrative practices have strong ethical roots, where marginalised voices and cultures are acknowledged. Practitioners of narrative philosophy seek collaboration and endeavour to bring people together in community. The chapters in this publication highlight this spirit of drawing out the voices of the marginalised, and seeking to thicken these stories of survival, whilst at the same time, reducing the influence of “expert” labels that have been placed on helping professionals.

References Freedman, J., & Combs, G. (1996). Narrative therapy: The social construction of preferred realities. New York: Norton. Freeman, E. (2011). Narrative approaches in social work practice: A life span, culturally centered, strengths perspective. Springfield, IL: Charles C. Thomas. White, M. & Epston, D. (1990). Narrative means to therapeutic ends. New York: W.W. Norton. White, M. (2007). Maps of narrative practice. New York: W.W. Norton & Co.


Chapter 2 Applying Narrative Philosophy and Approaches to Counselling the Abused

by Esther Tzer Wong

Abstract “To learn only the skills in narrative questioning, without appreciating the thinking that informs them, would leave a practitioner with a very thin understanding of this way of working. Alternatively, to learn only the thinking without a focus on skill development would leave a practitioner very vulnerable in their work with others.” ~ White & Denborough, 2005 Dr. David Denborough’s words (as Co-Founder of Dulwich Centre Foundation with Cheryl White) have inspired me, both as practitioner and educator, in attempting to create a context for trainees to learn skills of discernment in counselling, whilst challenging structuralist modes and models of thinking. This paper invites us to continually reflect on the practices of power that we are deliberately enacting in our various roles as counsellors, social work practitioners and teacher-trainers through considering the following ways of self-questioning and examination, ie: 1. Using a post-structuralist understanding of privilege and power in the context of counselling and counsellor training; 2. Locating in our own history, gender and culture, the values and commitments that counsellors and social work practitioners bring into our work; 3. Using or engaging with narrative metaphors in developing our identities as therapists 4. Questioning the effects of everything that one thinks and does and 5. Taking a de-centred but influential role with both clients and trainee

INTRODUCTION – PHILOSOPHY OF NARRATIVE THERAPY Narrative theory believes that narration is part of everyday life and that people have the desire to tell their stories. It is the stories that people tell themselves and others, about their past and present lives, which helps to make sense of their


life experiences. A person’s identity is what provides the person with a sense of continuity, a sense of coherence and a sense of self. Drawing together the different life experiences helps to shape and give meaning to life as a whole, and this is called the Theory of Narrative Identity. In this article, I wish to address how the discourses that have become prominent in professional and popular psychology not only promote the construction of disabled identities, but also shape our ways of relating to victims of trauma, that diminish and marginalise the very persons who have endured and suffered significant trauma. I will use the definition of discourse offered by Winslade and Monk (2007:72) which is: “a shorthand term to describe how characteristic ways of speaking develop in particular social contexts”. It is in the context of these social and relational practices, that their identity is constructed as “spoiled”.

The Spoiling of One’s Identity or Reputation In the course of growing up and schooling, young people encounter a range of descriptions of themselves. Some things are said about people in school that would seldom be uttered elsewhere. A school report card might describe a young person as “underachieving” or, “lacking in direction and focus”. What does a young person or child do with such a self-description? A young person creating problems in class is labelled as “difficult to manage” “disruptive” or a “troublemaker” and these thin (restricted) descriptions get a further airing in the staff room or teacher’s lounge. Having been a teacher in my younger days, I am also privy to such descriptions of children or youth whenever church staff or members band together to discuss what went wrong with certain individuals. Moreover, having practised as a social worker and counsellor for over 30 years, I have observed how some of the problem-saturated discourses focus on the social contexts of the lives of young people as well as the adult survivors of child abuse (men and women). They have been described as: “disadvantaged”, “delinquent”, “beyond parental control”, “came from a single parent family”, “detached youth”, “emotionally orphaned” and the most common catch-all label: “dysfunctional”. Some thin descriptions derived from medical or psychological diagnoses, have also entered into mainstream vocabularies and parlance, such as: “mal-adjusted”, “obsessive compulsive”, “oppositional”, “emotionally disabled” “attention-deficit disorder” or “hysterical”.

Taking a Post-Structuralist Understanding of Privelage and Power in Counselling A narrative approach to such limited and limiting descriptions - whether they are


uttered through “scientific” formal conferencing and then recorded into case files or via informal lay conversations - is to question how these represent “true” and “accurate” ways of speaking about a certain person, woman or child. Do such descriptions become real through the impact they have in people’s lives? Does being described in any of these ways make a difference in how people come to think of themselves as “recovering” and therefore facilitating their chances of living a much more satisfying life? One group of incest survivors I was privileged to meet shared a common litany: they did not want to be perceived and thought of as “survivors of”, instead, they wanted to tell their stories in such a way that was honouring of the pain and affliction they had suffered and endured. “Don’t put us in the ‘Incest Survivors’ group”, they said, “we want to be treated as ‘normal’ persons.” They were eager to demonstrate to the rest of the world that they were quite capable of living well-adjusted lives, and they wanted to showcase their unique coping abilities, not just as “survivors”, but as “thrivers” as well. Here, I drew my inspiration from the words of Michael White (2006: 150) who, together with David Epston, co-founded the philosophy and practice of Narrative Therapy. He said: “In rendering more visible children’s responses to trauma...subordinate storyline development restores children’s sense of personal agency. This is a sense...that one is able to intervene in one’s own life as an agent of what one gives value to and as an agent of one’s own intentions, and a sense that the world is at least minimally responsive to the fact of one’s own existence.” My own observations of counsellor training are that caseworkers are en-couraged to give a clear focus and emphasis on the trauma experienced by the woman, child or teenager. But because we are taught to focus on when, where, and how such victims were abused and the debilitating effects of such trauma, it can put us at risk of reproducing such discourses of victimisation in our therapeutic work. We also run the risk of further diminishing a child’s sense of personal agency through unwittingly reinforcing an identity that is passive and vulnerable to revictimisation. In the article quoted above, Michael White draws our attention to how victims get recruited into negative stories about themselves as “unworthy” and “culpable” - such that their self-identity becomes the sum of one’s earlier experience of abuse - an observation which resonates very strongly with my own counselling practice. One young lady whom I worked with, had for many years undergone physical


abuse and beatings by her father. When I asked her about her prospects of marriage, she said she could only marry a person who was handicapped or “flawed” in some particular way. When I asked her why she could not see herself as attractive or “marriageable” to a normal man, she retorted: “Because I am not that kind of person. My kind of person can only marry someone who got something wrong with him.” I took this to mean not an able-bodied man. Quite often, as in the case cited above, the re-telling of a typical story revolves around their “tarnished” or “spoiled” identity, hence, if we dwell too long on the theme of trauma, Michael White challenges us to re-think whether we are further embedding them in a story that is already problem-saturated. In its stead, he suggests that we should open up possibilities available to such persons for the “honouring of the special skills and personal qualities that made it possible for them to navigate through the dark hours of their lives and into the present.” (White, 1995: 85) So, how then should we relate to such victims?

(A) TAKING A DE-CENTRED BUT INFLUENTIAL ROLE AS THERAPIST TO EFFECT PERSONAL AGENCY

Counsellors and helping professionals run the risk of encouraging persons to give a carthartic discharge to their experiences of trauma without first checking out whether it is safe for them to do so; without laying a foundation for contemplating the potential for this to be reliving or re-enacting of the violence in some way; and for understanding how this might be constructing of the victim’s identity and accompanying sense of personal empowerment or disempowerment. In the words of Lopston and Stacey: “Children...must be allowed to speak as subjects who have expertise about their own lives, rather than be spoken about as objects who are acted upon by others.” (1997:8)

In a family, blame and shame has the effect of silencing and even “paralysing” the victim. Oftentimes, the victim appears “immobilised” or “frozen” and despite


a flood of assurances, from counsellors and children’s workers, they invariably clam up. Here, Narrative Therapy offers some ways of thinking and approaches to problems that could help empower a victim or survivor to recover from child-hood trauma and abuse.

1. The Language of Externalisation Although young persons would not welcome questions on their problem like: “What’s the matter with you?” “Why did you do that?” “Why didn’t you tell someone?” “Can you tell me what’s wrong (with you)?” They would, however, appreciate attention being given to their special knowledges of how to deal the kind of violence that had been visited upon them and the unique skills they have developed in minimising the harm done to them. And this is where externalisation comes in. In “Playful approaches to Serious Problems”, Freeman, Epston and Lobovits explain how the language of externalization empowers victims and their families: “When persons think of a problem as an integral part of themselves, it is difficult for them to change, as the problem seems so ‘close to home’. Separating the problem from the person in an externalising conversation relieves the pressure of blame and defensiveness...with some distance established between self and problem, family members can consider the effects of the problem on their lives and bring their own resources to bear in revising their relationship with it. In the space between person and problem, responsibility, choice and personal agency tend to expand.” (1997: 8) Therefore, once women and children are freed of the label of victim, or are no longer being defined as “the” problem, and if we, as counsellors, do not further collude in “blaming the victim”, a person can begin to have a relationship with the problem as they see it. Especially for young children or teenagers, externalisation becomes like playing a game of “pretend”. The language of externalisation is not so much a technique as the acquiring of skills for viewing the same problem in another way. We could, for


example, ask: “What if we played with this in a different way?” or “Would you like to show me by drawing a picture in the sand, or writing a story – or here! You could play with what we are talking about using puppets!” This practice now lends itself to a much lighter environment in which to conduct therapy, as both children and adult survivors of abuse can use their creative energies in revising their relationship with the problem as they perceive it. When we start to speak the language of children’s hopes and dreams, such as: what they prefer to have happening in their relationships; or where they want to live (perhaps with their custodial or non-custodial parent); or perhaps with their siblings if they have been placed “under care” at a children’s home or orphanage; we are able to access and to connect with children at the level “where they live”. We will also be witnesses to how children’s own sense of themselves as agents of change in their own lives can only increase as they experiment with possibilities in relating to an externalised problem.

2. Consulting our Consultants, the Child Survivors Therefore, creating this therapeutic environment can set the ideal conditions for therapists to consult children in a way that makes possible the exploration of their unique skills and knowledges, and in a way that opens up alternatives for them to take up these options in their daily lives. Some questions influenced by Angel Yuen’s work with children who had experienced Trauma (Yuen, 2007), which have assisted my inquiries were: How did you respond? What did you do? What did you do when you were scared? Where did you hide when you were scared? Even though it was not possible for you to stop the violence as a child, how did you attempt to protect yourself or others? However, when we carry out “assessment”, “management” or “treatment” within a power relationship that is marginalising or disqualifying of the knowledges and skills of living that had been generated through the history of the victim or the child’s engagement with the world, this creates a power relationship in which the other (case worker, youth pastor, concerned adult) knows more about the predicaments that children experience, than the children themselves. In the following example, I wish to illustrate how important it is for the counsellor to consult the client/student, thereby surfacing the subordinate story of how an adult survivor coped, using an incident she recalled when she was at age 9. This


person we shall call Sarah (a pseudonym used to protect her identity). Sarah, now in her 40’s, recounting the violence that was inflicted upon her by her eldest brother, managed to use her quick thinking at the young and tender age of 9 years. She knew and worked out that by opening the door to allow her big brother to enter, that the violence done to her would be less than if she were to try to stop him from bashing the door down. The following is exerpted verbatim from our interview: Counsellor: Can you remember how old were you? Sarah: 9 years old ... Counsellor: What happened? Sarah: I remember my eldest brother very angry and shouting! I ran into my room, locked the door and hid in the corner of my bedroom... I remember being very scared because it was not the first time that he came after me to bash me up. Counsellor: Was he much bigger than you? Sarah: He was 14 at the time, tall, big sized and he easily gets angry and violent, especially when I don’t listen to him... Counsellor: What were some instances when you didn’t listen to him? Sarah: Sometimes, when I had to clear up and wash the dishes for him, or when he was watching TV in the living room, he would go off to sleep ... then he’d shout and call out to me come and switch off the TV - he could do that (himself) but he didn’t. Counsellor: Does this only happen when you were young? Sarah: Even at a later age, my brother controls me when he’s very angry, demanding to obey him... Counsellor: Was he abusive to anyone else in the family? Sarah: My second brother who was abused by him developed a disempowered personality. He would fight physically with my eldest brother, but invariably, he would lose and then feel very defeated... Counsellor: So what happened when he got angry with you? Sarah: When he banged the door, I would quickly open the door, so that his anger would subside, he would still bash me, but not so badly as when he has done


it if he had to break down the door... Counsellor: How did you know that this would help? Sarah: Because this has happened before...once I screamed so loudly, the neighbours from the other end of the block came running to my house, but he blamed it on me so I ended up being in the wrong, and he was in the right! Counsellor: So the 9 year old girl was very wise...she knew she couldn’t stop her brother from beating her up, yet she knew that if she didn’t open the door to let him in, she would be beaten up even more badly …

3. Mapping both the Effects of Violence and the Acts of Resistance Sarah: I always felt so ashamed of myself that I gave in to him, that I couldn’t protect myself... Counsellor: But now, when you consider that there was no one around who stood up for you and protected you, wasn’t that a very brave thing you did? How old are you now? Sarah: 45 years old... Counsellor: Would the 45 year old woman like to tell the 9 year old girl how brave she was to face the violence like that? And how proud you are of her? Sarah: (long pause, tearing)...I’d like to tell her that she did well... Here, in developing the subordinate story that focuses on acts of resistance or strategies of self-protection, we bear witness to one of several ways of responding to children’s accounts of loss or trauma which does not further pathologise their experiences or disconnect them from their sources of resilience (Yuen, 2007). We also bear witness to Michael White’s (2006:146) assertion that: “No child is a passive recipient of trauma, regardless of (its) nature...children take action to minimise their exposure to trauma and to decrease their vulnerability to it by modifying the traumatic episodes they are subject to, or by finding ways of modifying the effects of this trauma on their (future) lives.” In a later session, I used the following questions influenced by Markey & Dolman (2010) to thicken the second story development of being a “survivor of” and not a


“victim of” abuse: Counsellor: When you recalled that incident of abuse towards you and your (second) brother, were there things you said to yourself to get through that time? Sarah: To protect myself, I shut down … I won’t say much to him, and in that sense, I protected myself… Counsellor: What about your second brother who was also beaten? How did you comfort him or how did he comfort you? Sarah: My second brother and I became very close, because of the atrocities that my first brother was throwing at us, and this further infuriated him…! In that sense, we were comforting each other … Counsellor: When you think back of the times you were abused, could you recall particular things that you did? During this difficult time? Sarah: During the beating, I would be in the corner crying away, to comfort myself… I also realised I spent a lot of time in the library to borrow books, I’d come back home and (be) in the corner, reading away … read it through the night … Counsellor: What books did you read? Did you have any favourites? Sarah: I read a variety! (smiling and brightening)… History books … I loved fantasy, fairy tales, family-oriented books ... I would lie to my father, go out with my friends, we used to have a dancing club, without the teacher present … Counsellor: What other things did you do during that time to lessen the effect of the abuse? Sarah: I used to go to my best friend’s house every Saturday – did you know I didn’t have my mother? (Sarah’s mom had deserted the family) Her mom would come home at 4.00pm, cook dinner at 5.30pm … it was she who gave me the motivation to move on … as much as I had abuse in one family, I had a lot of love and support in the other family … At this juncture, the conversation moved to re-membering this important figure in her life who was like a surrogate mother to her. Since I was interested in thickening the alternative story of Sarah from “victim” to “survivor” to “thriver” I began to ask questions (Markey & Dolman 2010) that centred around someone who wouldn’t be surprised that she had chosen the kind of work she was involved in - counselling.


4. Using Re-Membering Conversations Counsellor: How did knowing this person (auntie) contribute to your life? Sarah: I was angry with my brother - he would have the last say in everything! I felt very hurt … as if I had no place in the family! But with my friend’s mom, although I was not part of the family, I was one of them! At a later stage, puberty, she would even introduce me as one of her daughters! Anything I wore was praised … I received unconditional acceptance… Counsellor: Can you think of some things you are presently doing that could have been due to her influence in your life… Sarah: At a young age of 14-15 years … we did marketing for the elderly, clean their apartments … she lived in a rental apartment, cooked a large pot of porridge and distributed it to her neighbours … I once said to her, “ma… if it was not for this exposure into other people’s lives … it was you who taught me the importance of seeing people, to look after the needs of people … Sarah: Infact … she wasn’t as surprised, because I had done quite a lot of work among the Indians in the church (auntie’s a Catholic) she was very supportive of what I was doing … she was aware of my prisons work, and supported and encouraged me in my profession. Counsellor: If you were to see yourself now through her eyes, in what ways do you think you may have contributed to her life? Sarah: I used to listen to her a lot … these last few years, listening to her crying…I’ve been very open in my affection for her, she felt very valued in what I said to her, she was joyful … and also tearing, it was a very special time … The above story represents one disengagement or “unhinging” from the spoiled identity, where a young child had begun to develop strategies to cope with the constant threat and terror of violence. As children and other vulnerable members of society grow in awareness and discernment, invariably “the fog” begins to lift. In my training to be a Narrative therapist, I hope to contribute to this lifting of the fog through sensitive listening and responding to accounts of trauma and abuse, through the accessing of client’s double-storied memories, and through second story development.

5. Using Outsider Witness Groups and Definitional Ceremonies Sometimes, Narrative therapists create processes whereby audience members


act as witnesses to the conversations between the counsellor and those coming for therapy. This is a practice involving interviews in which the victimised child or woman’s “alternative stories” or “unique outcomes” and are elicited, highlighted and documented. These are known as definitional ceremonies after the work of Barbara Myerhoff (1986) and can be powerful in helping people reshape, reclaim or redefine their identities. Although this could happen at any stage in therapy, such ceremonies create an alternative model for the process of “termination” in counselling, when our work with the client or her family has completed. Instead of experiencing termination as another “experience of loss” and doing “goodbye work” with the counsellor, narrative therapy borrows a metaphor of undergoing “rites of passage”, from the anthropological work of Van Gennep (1960). In accordance with this ritual, White and Epston (1992:280) would encourage a client: “to negotiate the passage from novice to veteran, from client to consultant. Rather than instituting a dependency on “expert knowledge”... this therapy enables persons to arrive at a point where they can take recourse to liberating alternative, “special” knowledges that they have resurrected during therapy.” Such practices of acknowledgement usually engage an audience of outsiderwitnesses in the re-telling of such stories, which are associated with people’s alternative claims to identity. So, everytime the client “turns a corner”, opportunities present for the celebration and confirmation of his / her new status as “healed and whole children”, “empowered women”, as “thrivers”, not just “survivors” of abuse. Outsider-witness groups may include other therapists, family members, friends, members of a community or people unknown to the family, and can offer relevant experience or expertise. It is always up to the family to decide whether or not they wish to have such a group as an audience to their conversations. The sharing is done in a way that the family still remains at the centre of the re-telling, which is referred to by White as “de-centred sharing”(White, 1997). In addition to being used as part of a reflecting team in traditional family therapy (White, 1995), outsider–witness groups have also been used in many settings, including community gatherings. A child who has been subject to teasing or harassment may meet a team comprising children who have had a similar experience. Lesbian couples may be interested in outsider-witness groups who comprise of members of the gay community. Likewise,


tribal communities or minorities may choose to consult a team made up of their community members. Across the diversity of settings, the principles remain the same. The outsiderwitness group is there to witness the re-authoring conversations and then to re-tell what they have heard in ways that can contribute to rich description of alternative stories of people’s lives and identities. What are the implications of narrative philosophy and practice for counsellor training and education? (A) We locate in our own History, Gender and Culture, the Values and Commitments that Counsellors and Social Workers bring to our work. As richly described in the verbatim interview with Sarah, Narrative ideas would imply that the values and commitments that are demonstrated in therapist’s work have been shaped by our own interactions and cultural history, not only in the realm of the professional - training and philosophy - but also in the personal – peers, family, friendship, ethnic sub-cultural realms.

At TCA College, this has opened up for me a whole range of possibilities for exploration in teaching – to link therapist’s practices to our own histories and sub-communities (Chinese, Malay/ Muslim, Indian, Eurasian) – rather than locating it solely in the realm of “professional” knowledge. Perhaps our choice to work with persons in a particular way was honed in interactions with our clients, or influenced by our family or culture -of -origin. Throughout the training, we constantly raise issues of class, culture, gender, religion, sexuality, race, and how people’s different understandings of these can be responded to openly and respectfully.

(B) We Engage with Narrative Metaphors and Practices in Training Using a Narrative metaphor in teaching and counsellor education offers another way of conceptualising the relationship of learning and teaching. We could engage with students / supervisees to explore their own narratives of why and how they chose to become counsellors / therapists.

We could also (prior to the course) invite students to document their hopes and expectations for their learning, any obstacles that they forsee that could impede their learning, or any ideas they might have about overcoming such obstacles. To some extent, their hopes and aspirations as budding counsellors would shape the


content of what is being delivered or conveyed in the modules we teach.

For example, in designing the module on “The Self of the Counsellor”, I would pose the same questions with trainees as I would with clients to help them get in touch with their past history and relationships, namely, “Re-Membering Conversations” (Markay & Dolman, 2010) and the exercise on “Developing stories about people’s responses to difficulty”(Markay & Dolman, 2010).

The exercise on “Re-Membering” helps to “populate” the therapeutic conversation with the intention of researching who else knew what the student was up against, but wouldn’t be surprised that s/he chose the work that they were involved in ie. the profession of counselling or social work.

The exercise on “Developing stories” locates and connects the student in history where they overcame adversity and developed a skill or knowledge that helped them get through these times of stress / difficulty.

As part of a two to three year masters programme in counselling, many opportunities would arise for outsider-witness practices and definitional ceremonies whereby our students invite peers / significant others to bear witness to their journey into counselling in the context of small or large – group sharing.

Through the constant practice of journaling and the writing of reflection papers documenting their journey, they are encouraged to tell and re-tell their stories. This journey culminates finally in the public “definitional ceremony” their graduation or convocation, whereby students take their newly shaped roles and identities as trained counsellors, ready to go into the field, and to start a whole new journey of becoming a professional.

References Freeman, J., Epston, D. and Lobovits, D. (1997) Playful Approaches to Serious Problems: Narrative Therapy with Children and their Families. New York: Norton and Company. Lopston, C. and Stacey, K. (1995) Children should be seen and not heard. Questioning the Unquestioned. Journal of Systemic Therapies 14 (4): 16-32 Markey C. and Dolman C. (2010) Introducing Narrative Therapy Training Exercise Handout #10: Developing stories about people’s responses to Difficulty.


Markey C. and Dolman C. (2010) Introducing Narrative Therapy Training Exercise Handout: Remembering Conversations. Myerhoff, B. (1986) “Life not death in Venice: Its second life” in V. Turner and E. Bruner (eds.) The Anthropology of Experience. Chicago: University of Illinois Press, pp. 261-286. Van Gennep, A. (1960) Rites of Passage trans. M.B. Vizedom and G. Cafee. Chicago: University of Chicago Press. White, C. and Denborough, D. (2005) “Developing Training Courses that are Congruent with Narrative Ideas”. In C. White and D. Denborough (eds.) A Community of Ideas – Behind the Scenes. Adelaide: Dulwich Centre Publications, pp. 114-115 White, M. and Epston, D. (1991/1992): “Deconstruction and Therapy” Dulwich Centre Newsletter 3: 21-40. Reprinted in D. Epston and M. White, Experience, Contradiction, Narrative and Imagination: Selected Papers of David Epston & Michael White, 1989 – 1991 Adelaide, Australia: Dulwich Centre Publications White, M. (1997) “Definitional Ceremony” in M. White, Narratives of Therapist’s Lives. Adelaide, Australia: Dulwich Centre Publications, Chapter 4. White, M. (1995) “Reflecting Team as Definitional Ceremony” in M. White, Re-authoring Lives: Interviews and Essays Adelaide, Australia: Dulwich Centre Publications, Chapter 7. White, M. (2006) “Children, Trauma and Subordinate Storyline Development”. In D. Denborough (ed) Trauma: Narrative Responses to Traumatic Experience. Adelaide: Dulwich Centre Publications. White, M. (1995) Re-authoring Lives: Interviews and Essays. Adelaide, Australia: Dulwich Centre publications. White, M. (2006) “Children, Trauma and Subordinate Storyline Development”. In D. Denborough (ed.) Trauma: Narrative Responses to Narrative Experience. Adelaide, Australia: Dulwich Centre Publications. Winslade, J.M. and Monk, G.D. (2007) Narrative Counselling in Schools. Thousand Oaks, CA: Corwin Press. Yuen, A. (2007) “Discovering Children’s responses to Trauma: a Response Based Narrative Practice”. The International Journal of Narrative Therapy and Community Work 4: 3-18.


Chapter 3 Narrative Therapy in Mental Health Care – Building Connections and Stories with Children, Youths and Families

by Joy Ong Shu Xin

Psychiatric and Mental Health Care Traditionally, psychiatric and mental health care focuses on identifying and deconstructing people’s problems. The dominant discourse of mental health care has conventionally emphasized largely on biomedical model, where clinicians undertake the expert role in diagnosing and fixing your problems, while patients are seen as unknowing and ignorant. The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) is a standard classification of mental disorders used by mental health professionals (APA, 2015). However, the DSM manual has been criticized for decontextualizing human experiences (Carrey, 2007; Tomm, 1990). In fact, one would argue that the DSM manual operates by isolating symptoms and putting individuals into boxes of categories. When we fixate on psychopathology and disabilities while attempting to fit persons into defined parameters, we see parts of each person and not the whole of the person. There is a risk of missing out on the strengths in individuals and families, as well as the richness and wisdom that comes with the life stories.

Mental Illness in Singapore: Stigma and Shame In Singapore, the dominant biomedical discourse and stigma associated with persons with mental illness is significant. Persons with mental health needs may be described by the following labels: ‘Lunatic’, ‘Gila’, ‘Siao-Lang’, ‘Paittiyam’, ‘Crazy’, ‘Sot’ and ‘Woodbridge’. These demeaning labels bring distress not just to the individuals, but also a shared concept of shame and disgrace to their family, extended family and community. Further use of disease metaphors may reinforce the sense of helplessness and powerlessness felt by individuals and their loved ones. When we unpack unhelpful stories and recreate preferred stories with our clients, we must recognize that knowledge and power are joined through a discourse (Foucault, 1980). Bruner (1986) stated, “Narratives are not only structures of meaning but structures of power as well”.


Indeed, we may further exacerbate the mental health stigma (Lipscomb, 2012) and keep oppressive stories alive (Brown, 2007) if we are insensitive or judgmental in our approaches. How do we then position ourselves as therapists in order to be helpful and connected to our clients, while restoring power and control to them?

Healing Through Stories Before we dive into healing work, the therapist needs to create safety and build trust with the client, while pacing and staying attuned to the client. It is critical that the therapist is culturally sensitive and respectful while engaging the client. Through the therapist’s use of self coupled with the use of narrative processes, we begin the healing journeys with clients to revisit old stories, patch up gaps, re-evaluate important moments and events, and re-author their lives in preferred narratives. “Stories are habitations. We live in and through stories. They conjure worlds. We do not know the world other than as a story world. Stories inform life. They hold us together but can keep us apart. We inhabit the great stories of our culture. We live through stories. We live by the stories of our race and place. It is important to grasp this enveloping and constituting function of stories. We are locations where the stories of our place and time become partially tell-able.” (Mair, 1988) This chapter documents my therapeutic approach in using narrative ideas working with persons with mental health needs. I invite you to walk the collaborative journey together to generate possibilities through therapeutic conversations and activities in mental health care.

Idea 1: Using “Experience-Near” Language in Narrative Therapy When we use metaphors and words chosen by clients, they often feel relieved and understood by the therapists (White & Epston, 1990). In addition, they will also feel listened to and empowered when their experience is being acknowledged. In Paul Ricoeur’s (1986) words, “the metaphor is alive”. Metaphors allow us to discover


ways to perceive situations and create new meanings. One such example is the use of “Experience-Near” language in grief and bereavement work. A bereaved mother who has lost her child to an illness described her experience as “浮木” (Floating Plank). Throughout the sessions, her chosen metaphor of “浮木” (Floating Plank) surfaced repeatedly to describe her tremendous despair, her immense pain, as well as the overwhelming sense of hopelessness. As we continue our journey together over the months, “浮木” (Floating Plank) evolved to represent possibilities and glimmer of hope for her future. 浮木真正的功能是帮助我有上岸，带着悲伤回到陆上，要重新去爱。 The real purpose of a floating plank is to help me get back on shore. I am returning back to shore with my grief and I am going to love again. In subsequent sessions, “浮木” (Floating Plank) has shifted yet again and is now representative of the feelings of peace within, as well as her acceptance of the losses she had. “浮木” (Floating Plank) is a bridge between her mind and body, and has given her a safe space to get to where she is at now. 这时候的悲伤并没有真正消失，而是学会了如何和它和平共处，而不是紧紧抓住不放。 At this moment, my grief has not fully disappeared. I have merely learnt how to live in peace with my sadness, and not to hold on tightly, not wanting to let go. The use of “Experience-Near” language has legitimated the person’s experiences, while I bear witness to all of her precious memories, painful moments, victorious moments, hopeful moments, her identity and her growth. The use of “ExperienceNear” language made space for an alternative helpful story to emerge from within, restoring power and control back to her.

Idea 2: Unpacking Metaphors In Psychiatric Disorders The use of “pathologizing language” (Gergen, 1990), such as the diagnosis of deficits, creates a sense of blame and failure, and often reinforces the perception


that the client is weak and problematic. It is likely that the person may feel isolated and tune out from the process. “If people define situations as real, they are real in their consequences.” (Thomas & Thomas, 1928)

When we unpack metaphors together with child and family, we provide opportunities for parents to acknowledge difficult moments as well as achieving moments. Instead of disease metaphors, exploration of metaphors surrounding excess and abundance facilitate the celebration of talents and strengths of each individual. For example, the diagnostic term “Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder” focuses on the inadequacies of the child (i.e. not being able to focus). The use of such reductionist model amplifies the ‘symptomatology’ and ‘deficiencies’ that the child may have, which proves to be very limiting to the child’s sense of identity. Instead, when we recognize the abundance of energy and creativity that a child with “Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder” may have, or when we appreciate the resilience within a child to bounce back stronger from each challenge, we reconstruct and recreate new meanings collaboratively with the child and family.

Another example is a child with a diagnosis of “Oppositional Defiant Disorder”. He described his anger as an “Explosion”, which explodes in huge flames and scorches people all around. Together, we took time to unpack his metaphor of “Explosions” and he invited me into his world. He felt really angry and unfair, and views himself as someone bad and harmful to people. With multiple past experiences, he has learnt that he is “terrible” and “a bad boy”. Little by little, I built a relationship with him, centering him as the expert of his own experience. Eventually, he reconstructed “Explosions” into “Energy” which helped him to be “Really Powerful”. Subsequently, he decided to store his


“Explosions” into “Batteries”, so that he could use his “Energy Store” whenever he wanted to in a helpful way. In his very own words, he declared: “My huge explosions went away. Sometimes, I have mini ones but they are ok.”

Parents and teachers have since shared that he is no longer shouting or opposing rules. He is still walking around in class at times, but remains participative and has been helping out in class as subject representative. It was imperative to work with the caring adults around the child to engage their support and co-construct a preferred alternative story together. From “Explosions” to “Batteries”, our collaborative journey for a search of preferred meaningful story took us almost a year. And in each session, I feel so privileged to be invited into his world and to share each moment with my “Really Powerful” boy.

Idea 3: Exploring Meaning of Psychiatric Medications We are not our problems (Denborough, 2014). Unfortunately, it is very common to believe that we are the problem, or that the child is the problem. If you are working with a child, a youth, or even an adult who may be taking psychiatric medications, it is worthwhile exploring the meaning of “medications” or “treatment” to them. Taking medications may reinforce the belief that the child or youth is a problem. Centering clients and families as the experts of their own experiences allows us to elicit thick descriptions of their perceptions, beliefs and feelings about psychiatric treatment. Parents, siblings, spouses,


children are often distressed and affected by the significance of these pills. Some patients and families have shared how they are impacted by the symbolic representations of “They are giving up on me”, “I am bad”, “I am a born defect”, “I am a failure”, “Controlling my mind”, “No face”, “My child is out of my control”, “I am a useless parent”. When given a safe space to explore and examine their feelings, individuals feel affirmed and acknowledged for what they are going through. We can then begin the journey of re-authoring new and helpful meanings to medications and treatments. If left unexplored, the child or person may be storied in terms of deficits (Carrey, 2007) and inadequacies. Consequently, this will have serious far-reaching implications on the child’s sense of self and identity, as well as on the family’s interaction patterns and stability. “There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.” (Maya Angelou, 1970)

Idea 4: Use of Family Maps in Narrative Therapy Family genograms or maps can be a powerful tool to invite collaboration and retelling of stories in sessions. I have even tailored and drawn family map with a five-year old child to elicit experiences with what was happening in the family. With younger children, we may draw faces, symbols, and use varied colors to thicken the narrative descriptions. Family maps can be done with individuals, with their siblings, with parent-child dyads or in a family session. “Words, like the chisel of the carver, can create what never existed before rather than simply describe what already exists. As a man speaks, not only is the thing which he is declaring coming into existence, but also the man himself.” ~ Martin Heidegger (as cited in Walker, 2006)


When drawing family maps, we can consider exploring the following areas to “thicken the plot” with the persons and their families. The following questions are modified from Banmen (2008) to fit local cultural context. This “back-and-forth style” (Carrey, 2007) interaction engages the individuals or family to make connections and create conversations. The process also allows members to see things in a bigger picture, as well as to co-create helpful and meaningful narratives together. Exploring Attributes and Creating Meaning Clients can choose attributes to describe themselves or family members. There is no right or wrong answer. Examples of attributes include Caring, Hardworking, Creative, Hot-Tempered. Below are some useful questions adapted from Satir (1980) and Banmen (2008): • Pick at least 3 attributes to describe yourself. • Pick at least 3 attributes to describe each family member for how you experienced them. • Which of your parents/siblings’ attributes have you inherited? • Which of your parents/siblings’ attributes have you changed for yourself? • What changes have you made for yourself that you really appreciate? • Which of your attributes would you like to change? Reclaiming Resources and Special Skills • What resources/special skills do you see in your family genogram? • What resources/special skills do you see in your family genogram that are new to you? • What resources/special skills do you have now that you learned from your parents? • What resources/special skills do you gained from making different decisions than your family did? • What do you appreciate about yourself as you look back now? • What do you appreciate about your family as you look back now? Remembering Important Persons In Our Lives • Who were your childhood mentors or models? • Who do you look up to (when you were young)? • What did you learn from each of them? • What impact do those learning have on you now? • What do you appreciate about them today?


Idea 5: Therapeutic Letters in Mental Health Care Therapeutic letters (White, 1995) can be included as part of the mental health care and treatment process. The use of the individual’s own words and metaphors is pivotal in the therapeutic letters to invite collaboration, as well as to document changes and possibilities. Therapeutic letters may be written by the therapist and given to the client. I’ve also used therapeutic letters in parent-child work where the child writes to the parent, or for the parent to write to the child. Below is an excerpt of a composite therapeutic letter written to a youth with psychosis and depressive mood and deliberate self harm behaviour: Dear Amelia, I feel very privileged to meet up with you and be invited to listen to your story of love and concern for the people around you, as well as your story of courage to face the feelings that you have about the past trauma. You tell me that you are the youngest of three children. From what you had told me, your father’s health has worsened significantly and is in urgent need for dialysis. You are very worried about his health as he is still working very long hours to support the family. You described him as a “strong pillar of support” and “someone very precious” to you ever since your mother had passed on when you were twelve. You shared that you had been cutting and hitting your head whenever you feel overwhelmed with “these feelings of sadness”, yet your “survival instincts” kicked in whenever the voices in your head kept telling you to kill yourself. Although it must have been very difficult, you thought of your father and sisters, and you chose not to kill yourself. I wonder if a part of you also held back because you still care about yourself, and wants to try persevering on. … I look forward to meeting you in two weeks time to hear more about you and your thoughts. I hope to walk the journey with you to search of a different future that you want for yourself. Joy


The use of therapeutic letters and re-authoring therapy in mental health care is a powerful medium for change and transformation, especially for patients who are often plastered with disease and deficits metaphors. I invite you to consider about the immense therapeutic potential and possibilities of what your letter can do for the children, youths and families that you work with. As we write the letters and document their narratives, we bear witness to their life journeys and their resiliency to retell their stories. I find that many children, youths and families enjoy receiving these personalized letters. Together, we embark on the heart of recovery in mental health care.

Idea 6: Puppet Therapy in Narrative Practice • • • •

Age Group: 4-12 Suitable For: Individual / Siblings / Parent-Child Dyads / Family Duration: 30-45 minutes Materials: Socks, Gloves, Paper Bags, Old Clothes, Felt Material, Styrofoam Balls

Puppetry stimulates storytelling (Irwin and Shapiro, 1975) and allows the story to become more real for the child. Puppets provide a safe platform for child to share the story about how the experience, how they found out, their thoughts, feelings and how they are coping. Puppets may be pre-purchased or hand-made to further ground the experience for the child. Hand Puppet

Finger Puppets


The process can be very empowering and affirming when children are allowed to retell their stories using their personalized hand-made puppets. I have found hand and finger puppets to be extremely non-threatening, very child-friendly and encouraging. Children may choose to make various puppets to represent different situations, persons or experiences. Puppets allow children to externalize internal conflicts and thoughts, and invite greater self-expression of their stories within. It is important to allow children to direct the process while we hold a safe space for them to explore.

Idea 7: Symbols Work in Narrative Therapy • • • •

Age Group: 5-16 Suitable For: Individual / Siblings / Parent-Child Dyads / Family Duration: 30-45 minutes Materials: Papers, Art Materials, Feeling Cards, Variety of Toys and Symbols

Symbols allow the child or the youth an opportunity to engage in exploration, meaning making and re-writing their own stories of identities. The focus of symbols work is not about the therapist analyzing or diagnosing the exact meaning of each chosen symbol, but rather holding a safe space for the process of reconnection and transformation to happen within.


Symbols may be used to explore impact of mental illness, voices in their head, thoughts, chaos, pain, feelings about themselves or about other people and relationships, unfinished businesses, the situations they are in, important places of their lives, milestones, hopes, dreams, precious memories, and message to self or others. “Our stories are the houses, the families, the communities, cultures, nations, and cosmos in which we live.” (Becvar & Becvar, 1996)

Idea 8: Capturing Moments Using Photo-Narrative Therapy • Age Group: Children, Youths and Adults • Suitable For: Individual / Siblings / Parent-Child Dyads / Family • Materials: Camera, Phone Camera, Album, Books, Craft and Writing Materials

“We all have very much more of the stuff than we know what to do with, and if we fail to put it into some graspable form, the fault must lie in a lack of means, not of substance.” (Geertz, 1986) ‘Photo-Narrative Therapy’ allows children, youths and adults to deepen insight, revisit places, recreate memories and re-author their stories. The individual may take self-portraits, reflections of selves or people, belongings and items, people who


matter to them, important places, favorite places, where they came from, their desired destinations, memories, dreams, hopes, future, and symbolic representations of what is significant to them. ‘Photo-Narrative Therapy’ places significant emphasis on the process of connecting within, and mapping the internal journey with captured photographs. The platform allows the individual to reflect on where he or she fit in the bigger picture or schema of things. The photographs and/or attached writings serve as a visual documentation and legacy of their experience with mental illness, their resilience, and their journey with life. I’ve coined the term ‘Photo-Narrative Therapy’ and developed the idea when I was working with a child with the diagnosis of “Selective Mutism”. The child was not ready to speak and communicate with anyone following complex family issues. Children or youths with “Selective Mutism” or other anxiety disorders may often feel nervous and overwhelmed when confronted with social or people’s expectations for them to talk. With a sprinkle of creativity, I invited the child to embark on a ‘Photo-Narrative Journey’ with me where we combine the use of personal snapshots and narrative processes. There was no pressure for the child to speak until he is ready to. Till then, we could still embark on exploring life journey together in a safe and nonthreatening way. This was unlike the conventional practice where clients vocalize or narrate their stories. In this alternative mode, the client can choose to retell their stories by combining their photographs and writing of stories, poetry, liners or quotes. The essence of Narrative Therapy could be just as empowering through non-verbal techniques and the therapist use of self in session. I was acutely aware of the importance of being fully connected with the child, especially when the child has had prior negative experience with people around. I remained curious and provided ample space for the child to make choices. It was a very powerful growth process when we focus on being present and connected with the client. With each photograph taken and developed, the child retold and recreated his story by writing. Little by little, he started saying a word or two whenever he felt safe. Even though there were no spoken words in the beginning, we had embarked on a healing journey together in our own unique, creative way till when he reached a ‘riverbank position’ to talk.


Being Connected “When I connect with you, at this moment in time, you are the full focus of my attention. All my being is focused on you. I am looking at you, not thinking of somebody else. I am listening to your words, and not making things up.” (Virginia Satir, 1980)

Conclusion I am very thankful to the children, youths and families who have kindly invited me into their worlds. They have allowed me to journey with them while we navigate through muddy swamps to a riverbank position of safety together. From there, we embarked on a quest, travelling to many places in search of meaning and healing. I hope that this chapter has provided you with new ideas of working with children, youths and families with mental health needs, as well as to respond to the richness of the stories they share with you. We are travellers on our very own life journeys; only we can decide how and where we want to go. When I begun on my adventure in narrative work, I started to look at my own life experiences in a different light with much kindness and nurturance. I am truly grateful.

References American Psychiatric Association (2015). Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM). Retrieved 01 April 2015, from: http://www.psychiatry.org/practice/dsm Banmen, J. (Ed). (2008). Satir Transformational Systemic Therapy. Palo Alto, CA: Science and Behaviour Books, Inc. Brown, C. (2007). Situating knowledge and power in the therapeutic alliance. In C. Brown, & T. Augusta-Scott (Eds.), Narrative therapy: Making meaning, making lives. (pp. 3-23). Thousand Oaks, CA: SAGE Publications, Inc. Bruner, E. (1986). Ethnography as narrative. In V. Turner & E. Bruner (Eds.), The anthropology of experience (pp. 139–155). Chicago: University of Illinois Press. Carrey, N. (2007). Practicing psychiatry through a narrative lens: Working with children, youth, and families. In C. Brown, & T. Augusta-Scott (Eds.), Narrative therapy: Making meaning, making lives. (pp. 77-103). Thousand Oaks, CA: SAGE Publications, Inc. Denborough, D. (2014). Retelling the stories of our lives: Everyday narrative therapy to draw inspiration and transform experience. New York, NY: Norton Foucault, M. (1980). Truth and power. In Power/knowledge: Selected interviews and other writings. London: Harvester Press.


Gergen, K. (1990a). Therapeutic professions and the diffusion of deficit. Journal of Mind and Behavior, 11(4), 107–122. Irwin, E, & Shapiro, M. (1975). Puppetry as a diagnostic and therapeutic technique. In I. Jakab (Eds.), Psychiatry and Art. New York: S. Karger. Lipscomb, M. (2012). Talking about Mental Health: A Narrative Approach. Retrieved 25 March 2015, from: http://www.refugeehealthta.org/files/2012/08/Bag-of-Rocks-Metaphor.pdf Ricoeur, P. (1986). La Metafora Viva. Yaka Book, Milano. Tomm, K. (1990). A critique of the DSM. Dulwich Center Newsletter, 3, 5–8. Walker, M. T. (2006). The Social Construction of Mental Illness and its Implications for the Recovery Model. Retrieved 25 March 2015, from: http://www.psychosocial.com/IJPR_10/ Social_Construction_of_MI_and_Implications_for_Recovery_Walker.html White, M. (1995). Psychotic experiences and discourse. In Re-authoring lives: Interviews and essays (pp. 112–153). Adelaide, Australia: Dulwich Centre Publications. White, M., & Epston, D. (1990). Narrative means to therapeutic ends. New York: Norton.


Chapter 4 The ‘Life Certificate’: A Tool for Grief Work in Singapore

T

by Mohamed Fareez

his article proposes an alternative to the formal, impersonal document of the death certificate – a ‘Life Certificate’, a narrative therapeutic document to honour the lives of lost loved-ones. The article shows examples of the ‘Life Certificate’ used in practice, as well as a six-stage map of narrative practice that can be used in conjunction with it, to help renegotiate people’s relationships with grief. The use of documents is prominent in narrative therapy (Denborough, 2008; Epston, 1999; Freedman & Combs, 1996; White & Epston, 1990), where they are utilised in presentations of the ‘self’ (White & Epston, 1990). Narrative practice has also included therapeutic documents in the context of death and dying (see, for example, Trudinger, 2009; White, 1997). Formal identity documents tend to be impersonal, with ‘facts’ printed by an authority other than the person whose identity is being described. David Denborough’s collective narrative practice in Burma/Myanmar (Dulwich Centre Foundation International, International Women’s Development Agency, & Women’s League of Burma, 2013) introduced novel ways of modifying formal identification documents so that they are of relevance and resonance to human rights workers. These preferred identity documents, being situated in the domain of ‘alternative local, popular knowledges’ (White & Epston, 1990), enabled the participants to be heavily involved in their sense of identity, and the making known of special skills and knowledges. As a social worker consulting people affected by grief, I noticed how my clients were affected by problematic stories surrounding the pain of losing a lovedone, difficulties involved in ‘letting go’ of the memories of the deceased, issues of ‘unfinished business’, and disturbing memories of the event of the loss. These stories formed the dominant discourse of people’s relationship with grief. Inspired by the idea of preferred identity documents, I have sought ways to use creative documentation within culturally-relevant parameters in Singapore. The ‘Life Certificate’ was developed as an alternative twist to the formal death certificates issued to families after the death of a family member. I developed the


Life Certificate in the hope of identifying and making known stories of the person who was lost in the preferred ways of how people might want to remember them. The certificate not only identifies details of the loved-one, but also facilitates reflection on how these persons have influenced our lives and values. Conversely, it also explores how we have influenced them. This paper traces outlines my development of the Life Certificate and the website (www.life-certificate.com) as a platform for the performance of new stories within definitional ceremonies (Myerhoff, 1982). I discuss the Life Certificate as a possible tool in grief therapy, and illustrate its use through the case study of Ramlah (not her real name). The paper ends with a discussion on the possible uses of the Life Certificate in other settings.

Dominant perspectives surrounding grief work in Singapore The dominant discourse in grief work in Singapore has been situated around working with our clients through stages (Kubler-Ross, 1970) deemed to be common in all experiences of grief (denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance). The limitations of describing grief as going through several stages are evident when we elicit people’s diverse experiences of grief, as well as how they make their own meaning in relation to these. When we expect grieving persons to go through a set order or experiences, we dismiss their unique responses to the loss. Similarly, William Worden (2009) emphasises four main tasks that need to be completed to successfully resolve grief: accepting the reality of the loss, processing the pain of grief, to adjust to a world without the deceased, and finding an enduring connection with the deceased in the midst of embarking on a new life. Worden postulates flexibility in his approach when working with the unique individualised responses that people have in relation to grief. A critique of the model is that the processing of pain through activities that foster re-experiencing may potentially lead to re-traumatising effects (White, 2006; Yuen, 2007). As just one example of an alternative, avoidance itself may be seen as a strategy in responding to grief or trauma (Linehan, 1993), one that may take some skill in maintaining.

Shifting into social constructionist ideas Grief is embedded in people’s cultural experiences. In Singapore, various cultures intersect with different religious practices. Where Chinese Taoist cultural discourse may value the act of crying and outward display of grief at the funeral of the deceased, the Malay Muslim cultural discourse may value the restraining of


emotions and instead focus on the practice of prayer. Dominant beliefs can be oppressive in that the individual is compelled to follow ‘normative’ ideas of grieving which may not fit with their own personal views. Each person’s relationship to culture and religion is unique to their own understanding of the world. Someone from a Chinese cultural heritage may find the dominant practice of outwardly showing grief to be overly histrionic and experience pain and distress when being compelled to show emotion for the deceased person. Conversely, someone from the Malay Muslim cultural heritage may also experience discomfort of not being able to express their emotions freely. Belief systems are formulated within social interactions within the realms of cultural discourse (Neimeyer, 1998). Furthermore, people experience varying degrees of connection to the narratives of their lives; some are committed to their beliefs and practices, whilst others experience estrangement to them (Monk, Winslade, Crocket, & Epston, 1997). This clearly further complexifies matters of culture and grief. As we move into the realm of social constructionism in understanding the processes of grieving, we can consider revisions towards the dominant beliefs of ‘moving on’ and ‘letting go’ of the person who has passed on (Kubler-Ross, 1970). Neimeyer (1999) discussed the process of grieving as one of meaning reconstruction with emphasis on the unique experience of grief. This involves a shift away from the presumption that successful grieving requires ‘letting go’ of the one who has died, and moving toward a recognition of the potentially enriching role of maintaining continued symbolic bonds with the deceased. These sentiments are echoed by Lorraine Hedtke (2003), who discussed how loved-ones who have died can continue to play crucial roles in our ‘club of life’. Practices of re-membering represent ideas that move away from ideas of letting someone go, while supporting a continued symbolic connection with the deceased. This connection is respectful, as it facilitates a continued legacy of the person in the context of work with the dying (White, 1998; White & Epston, 1992). It is this process of re-membering that forms the core process of the Life Certificate as a tool in grief work.

From death certificate to Life Certificate In Singapore, families are issued a death certificate of the family member who has died. These certificates, like our identity cards, are impersonal, and permanent (see Figure 1). In contrast, the ‘Life Certificate’ is a tool that may be helpful identifying alternative storylines to people’s experience of loss. The certificate itself is not a tool


with fixed components, although a template has been provided on the website. The components are based on guidelines that may assist in second story development. There should be flexibility for persons to personalise their Life Certificates in ways to honor the legacy of a deceased loved-one (see Figures 2 and 3).

Figure 1: A death certificate in Singapore

The Life Certificate generally has the following components: a. Name or preferred name of the person b. Photograph or drawing of the person c. Person’s favourite hobby/song/place/etc d. Quotes that are remembered from this person e. What I appreciate or love about this person f. What this person appreciates or loves about me g. Gifts I have received from this person (may include values, skills, or life lessons) h. Gifts I want to pass on to others (can be values, skills, or life lessons) i. How I take care of myself when I miss this person too much j. Signed off and certified by the creator of the certificate. Other guidelines to consider would include exploring the following questions (if they are relevant): a. What are some memories that you have about this person that have contributed to you being the person that you are right now? b. What are some memories that you have that would be worth retelling to honor this person? c. What are some things you might want to say to this person? d. What might this person say about you now?


Figure 2

Figure 2: The Life Certificate The Life Certificate presents an opportunity for persons facing grief issues to reclaim their relationship with their loved-ones who have died. According to Michael White, ‘re-membering conversations are not about passive recollection but about purposive reengagements with the history of one’s relationships with significant figures and with the identities of one’s present life and projected future’ (2007, p. 129). In using the Life Certificate combined with re-membering conversations, we can move away from the experiences of pain, worthlessness, and isolation that can be related to the memories surrounding the loss, and embrace memories and new understandings of these relationships.

Figure 3

Figure 3: Example of a completed Life Certificate Secondary story development can be facilitated through the following maps of enquiry:


a. Talking about talking about grief b. Externalise the experience of grief, and map its effects on the life of the person dealing with grief c. Appreciating and honoring the contributions of the deceased person, and supporting the continuation of this person’s legacy d. Exploring one’s own contributions to the life of the deceased e. Identify and document responses to the grief f. Engagement of outsider-witness responses.

Talking about talking about grief ‘Talking about talking’ is a concept that has been discussed by various authors (Dallos, 2006; Fredman, 1997; Freedman and Combs, 1996). It involves the process of discussing what is comfortable or not comfortable to talk about during sessions, as well as various understandings about grief and its effects. Talking about talking about grief supports transparency of the therapeutic relationship, which in turn fosters collaboration. This involves questions that invite discussions around grief, as well as expectations of how the therapeutic process can be helpful: a. Would you think that it would be useful to have any discussion about what you are going through right now? b. What do you think a useful discussion could look like? c. What are your expectations of this discussion? d. Have you spoken to anyone else about this issue? Was it helpful or unhelpful? e. What was helpful/not helpful about that previous conversation? f. Are there any questions that I might ask about this problem that might be useful/ not useful for you? g. Would you have any ideas of where these conversations might take you? In addition, the following questions are ways exploring the intersectionality of cultural and personal understandings of grief and the histories of these understandings. The first question was adapted from Glenda Fredman’s exercise of exploring and elaborating stories (1997): a. What do your beliefs tell you about what happens when • people die? • after people die? b. What does your culture or religion tell you about how you should manage this grief [or other experience-near term for this grief]? Which parts of this understanding are useful? Which parts are not?


c. What are your family members’ understandings of how grief [or other experiencenear term] should be managed or supported? What parts of this understanding are useful? Which parts are not? d. What is your own understanding of how you should manage this grief [or other experience-near term]? e. How do these different understandings tell you about what you value? What is the history of this value? f. If we took into account these values that you have, what would have been done differently that would honour these values and this person that you lost? g. What are some cultural or gender-ascribed expectations of how you should respond: • During and after a funeral of someone close to you? • When mourning someone close to you? h. Were these expectations helpful? i. What are your understandings of how you might maintain a relationship with someone who has passed on?

Externalise the experience of grief, and map its effects on the life of the person dealing with grief Externalising conversations (White, 2007; White & Epston, 1990) play an important role in separating the problem from the person’s identity, while at the same time enabling the mapping of the effects of the problems on the lives of people affected by grief. Samad, a male member of the Malay community, described his grief as ‘fikiran pedih’ (painful thoughts) which bothered him. As opposed to using foreign nomenclature such as ‘complicated grief’, the use of experience-near names (Geertz, 1983) facilitates a connected understanding of the effects of the externalised problem on everyday life. Experienced-near terms allow discussions to move away from the realm of diagnostic and medical perspectives, and instead be situated in the sociological world of our clients. a. b. c. d.

What name do you have about all of these things that have been bothering you? In what areas of your life has ____ been bothering you? What are your hopes about the role of ____ in your life? Are there times where ____ did not bother you as much?


Appreciating and honoring the contributions of the deceased person, and supporting the continuation of this person’s legacy The Life Certificate represents an endeavor towards validating the existence of the deceased person. By creatively documenting alternative storylines in response to the storyline that dominates the loss of the person, we can honor the contributions of the person. Legacy building is supported in two ways: first, preferred stories of the person are ‘immortalised’ in the certificate. Second, values, skills, and abilities that have been passed down can be honored through documentation, and plans can be made to ensure longevity of these ‘gifts’. In my practice, this is usually the phase where I start to float the possibility of using the Life Certificate as a way to re-member the deceased: a. What do you love or appreciate about this person? b. What are some gifts that have been given to you by this person? Why are these gifts important? c. What are some memories you have that remind you of what you appreciate about this person? d. What would this person say about the person you are? e. What advice would this person have for you? f. What are some ways of how you are living your life that tell you that you are still carrying on this person’s legacy (be it in certain values that you hold, certain rituals that you are practicing, and so on)?

Exploring one’s own contributions to the life of the deceased This line of enquiry is geared towards identifying an alternative storyline of how the person facing grief has contributed to the life of the deceased. The practitioner is encouraged to elicit details of how this contribution had shaped the deceased person’s perception of who he or she was. It represents a turning point in practice where it encourages one to think about storylines that she might not have thought about if she was preoccupied with the dominant story of loss and pain. This category of enquiry opens up the space into alternative storylines that move away from the usual experiences of grief one is accustomed to: a. What did this person appreciate about you? b. What might this person say about how you have also contributed to his or her life? c. How do you think this contribution made a difference to how this person saw his or her life?


Identify and document responses to the grief This line of enquiry involves another set of questions that would facilitate a rich second-story development where we can look into personal agency in the responses to grief, as opposed to just exploring the effects of grief alone: There is always the story about the trauma and its consequences – people have the opportunity to speak of their experiences of trauma, and they are actively supported in speaking about hasn’t been spoken of before. And, there is also the story about the person’s response to trauma that is often very thinly known … it is vitally important that we do get onto this trace, and that we assist people to thicken this up. (White, 2006, p. 30) The tracking of responses also facilitates the identification of strengths, skills, abilities, and values (Denborough, 2008; Yuen, 2007), which aid in the thickening of the alternative story. Rich material can be developed through practices which include the use of experience-near names, tracking the histories and legacies of the skills, exploring future plans for these skills, as well as embedding these skills in the context of collective and cultural traditions: a. What do you do when the memories and thoughts get too painful? b. How have you been able to survive this pain [or other externalised name] so far? c. What has been useful in chasing the pain away? d. Are there certain memories that you visit that have provided comfort? e. Who has been around in helping you get through the pain? f. If the pain were to come and disturb you again, which of these strategies would be useful and which would not? g. What does this pain tell you about what you value most? h. What name do you have for this value, skill, or knowledge? i. What is the history of this value, skill, or knowledge? How did you learn this? Who did you learn it from? j. How is this value, skill, or knowledge linked to your own religious and cultural beliefs? k. How would this value, skill, or knowledge make a difference of how you might want to see yourself in your future?

Engagement of outsider-witness responses and definitional ceremonies through the use of the Life Certificate Michael White (2007) discussed how individuals, through definitional ceremonies, are able to re-author their experiences through the lens of other community


members, and have their identity claims validated and acknowledged. Definitional ceremonies enable participants to be seen on their own terms, and hence be rendered ‘visible’ (Myerhoff, 1986). Definitional ceremonies focus on bringing to light preferred views of the self, which include stories of competence in responding to an externalised problem (Lobovits, Maisel, & Freeman, 1995). At the same time, there is an empowering effect in the process of creating documents that enable contribution and social action on the part of the client. Within this perspective, the clients we work with would be more inclined to share these stories of their preferred selves. This act of telling and retelling can serve to thicken these preferred stories, and lead to the re-invigoration of the self towards responding to the effects of grief. The process of facilitating a definitional ceremony with the Life Certificate may typically include outsider-witnesses who may already have some level of pre-existing connection with the client. Outsider-witness practices can take the following forms: a. Individuals or families being interviewed by the practitioner about the contents of the Life Certificate in the presence of an audience of outsider-witnesses b. The practitioner interviews outsider-witnesses who observe and respond to the contents of the Life Certificate in the presence of the individual or family. In this context, outsider-witness responses may also be recorded if individuals and families are not available as an audience. c. Online outsider-witness responses to Life Certificates posted on the online blog www.life-certificate.com. Significantly, a definitional ceremony can also be embedded in existing family and community rituals (Denborough, 2008). For example, a Malay Muslim Singaporean family may decide to collectively create a Life Certificate of the deceased during the process of a prayer ceremony marking the 100 days anniversary of the death. A Chinese family I worked with decided to complete the Life Certificate of their father during the first birthday after his death. In line with the four categories of definitional ceremony – identifying expressions, describing images, embodying responses, and acknowledging transport (White, 2007) – the following questions can be used with the Life Certificate: a. After hearing the stories that come from the life certificate, what caught your attention? What expressions were meaningful for you? b. What images came into your mind? What images did you have of the identity of the person who created it? What do you think he or she values or holds precious? c. How do these expressions and images connect with your own personal history? What are some memories of your own life that came up as you read the Life


Certificate and heard its stories? d. How have you been moved by what you read and experienced? How has your life been affected on account of hearing the stories of the Life Certificate? What new thoughts do you have about your own life and identity? How has your understanding of your personal history been affected? What new actions might you take in your life? With these considerations in mind, I will now discuss how the Life Certificate can be used in grief work through the following case study with Ramlah.

Case Study: Ramlah Ramlah, a woman from the Malay Muslim cultural group was referred to the Family Service Centre by the Mental Health Hospital, where she had been diagnosed with clinical depression following ‘complicated grief issues’ surrounding the death of her father. The death of her father Said had also coincided with a recent separation from her husband. At the point of referral, Ramlah was seven months pregnant with her second child, which would contraindicate with any medications that doctors were willing to prescribe. Hence, she was advised to see a professional at the family service centre so that she could ‘process her emotions’. During the intake interview, it was clear that Ramlah was in no condition to talk about the grief and trauma that she had been experiencing. She had not been eating regularly, slept less than four hours a night, and still harboured suicidal thoughts. There was a need to engage her in managing her safety, where family members were brought in as part of the safety plan to provide suicide watch. Talking about talking about grief It was only during the third session, when Ramlah reported that her concerns regarding her family’s basic needs were somewhat addressed, that I extended the invitation to talk about what she was experiencing in relation to grief. We had discussions throughout the first three sessions about her expectations of a useful therapeutic relationship. Ramlah’s hopes were to immediately get financial support as she had lost the main breadwinner in her husband. We had discussions about the nature of the therapeutic relationship and whether there may be issues I might gloss over, being of a different gender and class from her (even though we were from the same Malay Muslim cultural group). Ramlah was able to share her own struggles with her recent hospitalisation. She


felt as if her rights as a woman were taken away from her, and as if she was being further punished after the immediate losses she experienced. She felt disrespected by doctors who suspected her of being at high risk of committing suicide when Islam specifically forbids the taking of one’s life. This was exacerbated by conversations she overheard from the doctors that she might be at risk of harming her children as well, which further invalidated her role as a mother. After ironing out her expectations for help and what was comfortable for her to talk about, Ramlah began opening up about the guilt she experienced from the loss of her father. Because of problems that were occurring between her and her husband, she felt that she was not able to play an active role in caring for her father when he was suffering from the terminal stages of colon cancer. As we entered conversations around cultural understandings of grief and responses to loss, Ramlah talked about her belief that her father’s soul was in a better place, although she felt plagued by perasaan salah (wrongdoing or guilt) that bothered her each night before she slept. We explored her beliefs as to her ideas of what happened to her father and his soul when he died. We explored her relationship to cultural and religious ascriptions pertaining to grief. Ramlah talked about how perasaan salah had intensified during the prayer recital sessions when her father was awaiting burial, because she was not able to understand Arabic. She felt that she disappointed her father by not being able to read Qur’anic verses for him. Being able to read some verses for him represented an important Islamic ritual for Ramlah. Externalise the experience of grief, and map its effects on the life of the person facing grief issues Through the externalised experience-near name of perasaan salah, we were also able to start mapping out its effects on Ramlah, and evaluate Ramlah’s stand against it. We explored unique outcomes of Ramlah’s responses to perasaan salah and started documenting these responses. She talked about using specific religious verses that included the quote ‘with every suffering there is relief’ in her efforts to take a stand against perasaan salah. Appreciating and honoring the contributions of the deceased person, and supporting the continuation of this person’s legacy Ramlah’s discussions about her father and his contributions during the various difficult periods of her life presented an opportunity for the Life Certificate to be introduced. She felt an instant connection to the idea, as she had experienced fear and anxiety even looking at her father’s death certificate. The Life Certificate provided an opportunity for her to participate in the creation of her father’s legacy.


Ramlah also quoted a Malay proverb, ‘Harimau mati meninggalkan belang, gajah mati meninggalkan gading, manusia mati meninggalkan nama’. This translates literally to: ‘Tigers die leaving their stripes, elephants die leaving their trunks, and humans die leaving their name’. To Ramlah, ensuring that her father’s name is honoured involves making known his good deeds, and how he had been influential in taking care of her. She mentioned being the favourite of her father among her three siblings. Ramlah filled out her Life Certificate with quotes from her father, which included ‘Whatever happens, no matter how difficult it is, we have to breathe and stay calm’, as well as ‘Turn to God every time your heart is in pain’. As she wrote these quotes down, she expressed a sense of relief as though her father was there responding to her as she experienced his loss amidst the multiple issues affecting her current situation. She experienced a calmness that she felt she had lost in the struggles she experienced with her husband. It was this calmness that she hoped to reinstate in her life as part of continuing her father’s legacy and ensuring that his values continued to live on in the family. She talked about the importance of religion as stressed by her father, and how she felt that it was important that religion was a gift that she would want to pass on to her children to ensure that they did not make similar mistakes as she did in the past. Exploring one’s own contributions to the life of the deceased Although Ramlah was not keen to talk about her own contributions to her father’s life, she was surprised what she came up with. She found that she was valued by her father for being the daughter who would take time to engage and talk to him regularly. She was able to confide in her father, her father felt appreciated and connected to her, and he was able to be ‘like a friend’ to her. Her values of filial piety, consideration for others’ feelings, and responsibility, also became known. This helped her to understand how perasaan salah came about: it was a response to the violation of her sense of responsibility to her father. She was able to access new understandings of her grief where, although she had not been active in supporting her father during his final days, she had always been the one to by his side during his illness This knowledge of her skills and how she was also able to contribute to her father’s life provided Ramlah with a sense of relief and reduced the influence of perasaan salah in her life. Identify and document responses to the grief The process of identifying responses to grief occurred throughout the process of therapy. Whenever we discussed stories of the pain of grief (or perasaan salah) that she had been subjected to, double-listening (Denborough, 2008; White, 2004;


Yuen, 2007) was used to hear of ways where she had been able to respond to this experience. As we filled out the Life Certificate, we were able to identify the following responses for the section titled ‘How I take care of myself when I miss this person too much’: a. I let myself cry my heart out, instead of forcing myself to keep all the feelings in. It is ok to cry sometimes. b. I take out a picture of him and me that I have started to keep in my handbag. c. I recite Surah Al Inshirah from the Qu’ran, and remember the verse: ‘with every suffering, there is relief’. d. I recite the Al Fateha (a verse from the Qu’ran) for him every day. e. I remind myself that I had done my best to support him during his final days. f. I will watch Pendekar Bujang Lapok, his favourite classic comedy if I feel too sad. g. I will tell my children about the good deeds of their grandfather. As we went into the details of these responses, we were also able to pick up the skills and values that Ramlah was able to utilise, and further explorations were made into the histories of these skills and values, in an effort to thicken the alternative stories. Engagement of outsider-witness responses and definitional ceremonies through the use of the Life Certificate As Ramlah was not keen for her Life Certificate to be put up online, we recorded an outsider-witness response separately with three contacts who had each experienced the loss of a loved-one in their life. One of the witnesses, Ali, a member of the Malay Muslim community, discussed how filial piety seemed something that was valued by Ramlah. He said he resonated with this value as his belief was that filial piety by children can be important in helping the deceased parents absolve their sins in the afterlife. At the same time, he felt a strong desire to recreate Ramlah’s close relationship with her father in his own relationship with his mother. Ali discussed how he had distanced himself from his mother after the death of his own father, and how he now felt moved to start reconnecting with her. Another outsider-witness, Tracy, a woman from the Chinese community, connected with the Qur’anic verse of ‘with every suffering there is relief’. She talked about the loss of her sister, which happened during a time where her husband had recently been diagnosed with cancer. It was important to look for times where relief was available. She felt moved to reconnect with her own religious practices to make sense of the difficulties that she was facing. After viewing the recordings of these outsider-witness retellings, Ramlah felt


moved that her stories had made some impact in the lives of these strangers. She felt a sense of solidarity where her experiences of grief were similar to others who experienced loss. She discussed feeling empowered to share her stories with other people who may be affected by grief. At the same time, she was moved by Ali’s attempts to reconnect with his mother. She felt that she had distanced herself from her mother in the aftermath of her father’s death, and was inspired to take steps to reconnect with her. Future implications Ramlah’s example reflects how the Life Certificate can be used in the practice of grief work in direct therapy settings with individuals. To a large extent, the Life Certificate can be incorporated into family therapy as a collective project to remember and honour the memory of a deceased family member. In multicultural Singapore, with its various religious and cultural ceremonies and festivals, there may be options for the Life Certificate to be used in various rituals across cultures. I have also found utility in the use of the Life Certificate in situations of ambiguous grief (Boss, 2000) in cases where a child is experiencing the loss of a parent due to incarceration. It is common practice in Singapore for the caregiver to hide the knowledge from the child that his or her parent is currently serving time in prison. In therapy, the Life Certificate has also been used in work with the dying, where discussions are facilitated on how one might want his or her life to be honoured after death. There is also potential for using the Life Certificate in the context of bereavement groups, and group work with clients affected by terminal illnesses. It is to be noted that the Life Certificate would need to be modified and adapted according to the needs of the people we work with, and be culturally resonant to their experiences of grief. There needs to be formative research towards addressing the relevancy of the Life Certificate for the various cultural groups in Singapore, namely the Malay, Chinese, and Indian cultures. Hassan & Mehta’s study (2010) on the grief experience of Malay Muslim youths in Singapore suggests that spiritual-focused coping can be an important strategy in maintaining relationships with the deceased parent. It may be worth developing questions to explore the spiritual realms of coping when working in the Malay Muslim community. Following that, future research endeavors may also explore the impact of the Life Certificate and its accompanying maps of enquiries on the experiences of grief. This paper has discussed the utility of the Life Certificate as a tool in grief work. There is a need to be ethically responsible in ensuring that the tool is culturally respectful and fits with the experiences of the people who consult us. It is hoped


that this paper further thickens the alternative stories in the nature of grief work in Singapore.

References Boss, P. (2000). Ambiguous loss: Learning to live with unresolved grief. London, England: Harvard University Press. Dallos, R. (2006). Attachment narrative therapy: Integrating narrative, systemic and attachment therapies. Berkshire, England :Open University Press. Denborough, D. (2008). Collective narrative practice: Responding to individuals, groups, and communities who have experienced trauma. Adelaide, Australia: Dulwich Centre Publications. Dulwich Centre Foundation International, International Women’s Development Agency, & Women’s League of Burma. (2013). Narrative responses to human rights abuses: Sustaining women workers and honouring the survival skills of women from Burma/Myanmar. Melbourne, Australia: International Women’s Development Agency. Epston, D. (1999). Co-research: The making of an alternate knowledge. Chapter 16 in Narrative Therapy and Community Work; A conference collection. Dulwich Centre Publications. P 143-146 Fredman, G. (1997). Death talk: Conversations with children and families. London, England: Karnac. Freedman, J., & Combs, G. (1996). Narrative therapy: The social construction of preferred realities. New York, NY: W.W. Norton. Geertz, C. (1983). Local knowledge: Further essays in interpretive anthropology. New York, NY: Basic Books. Hassan, M. & Mehta, K. (2010). Grief experience of bereaved Malay/Muslim youths in Singapore: The spiritual dimension. The International Journal of Children’s Spirituality, 15, (1), 45–57. Hedtke, L. (2003). The origami of remembering. The International Journal of Narrative Therapy and Community Work, (4), 58–63. Kubler-Ross, E. (1970). On Death and Dying. New York: Macmillan. Linehan, M. (1993). Cognitive-behavioral treatment of borderline personality disorder. New York, NY: The Guilford Press. Lobovits, D.H., Maisel, R.L, & Freeman, J.C. (1995). Public practices: An ethic of circulation. In S. Friedman (Ed.), The reflecting team in action: Collaborative practice in family therapy (pp. 223–256). New York, NY: The Guilford Press. Monk, G., Winslade, J., Crocket, K., & Epston, D. (Eds.) (1997). Narrative therapy in practice: The archaeology of hope. San Francisco, CA: Jossey-Bass. Myerhoff, B. (1982). Life history among the elderly: Performance, visibility, and re- membering. In J. Ruby (Ed.), A crack in the mirror: Reflexive perspectives in anthropology (pp. 99–117). Philadelphia, PA: University of Philadelphia Press.


Myerhoff, B. (1986). ‘Life not death in Venice’: Its second life. In V. Turner & E. Bruner (Eds.), The anthropology of experience (pp. 261–286). Chicago, IL: University of Illinois Press. Neimeyer, R. (1998). Lessons of loss: A guide to coping. New York, NY: McGraw-Hill. Neimeyer, R. (1999). Narrative strategies in grief therapy. Journal of Constructivist Psychology, 12, (1), 65–85. Trudinger, M. (2009). Remembering Joan: Re-membering practices as eulogies and memorials. The International Journal of Narrative Therapy and Community Work, (1), 29–38. White, M. & Epston, D. (1990). Narrative means to therapeutic ends. New York: W.W. Norton. White, M. (1997). Narratives of therapists’ lives. Adelaide, Australia: Dulwich Centre Publications. White, M. (1998). Saying Hullo Again: The incorporation of the loss relationship in the resolution of grief in White, C. & Denborough, D. Eds. Introducing Narrative Therapy: A Collection of Practice Based Writings. Pg 17 – 32. Dulwich Centre Publications. White, M. (2004). Narrative practice and exotic lives: Resurrecting diversity in everyday life. Adelaide, Australia: Dulwich Centre Publications. White, M. (2006). Working with people who are suffering the consequences of multiple trauma: A narrative perspective. In D. Denborough (Ed.), Trauma: Narrative responses to traumatic experience (pp. 25–85). Adelaide, Australia: Dulwich Centre Publications. (Reprinted from The International Journal of Narrative Therapy and Community Work, 2004 (1), 45–76.) White, M. (2007). Maps of narrative practice. New York, NY: W. W. Norton. White, M. & Epston, D. (1992). A Conversation about AIDS and Dying. In White & Epston. Experiencing Contradiction Narrative & Imagination. Wingard, B. (2001). Finding our own ways to grieve, to remember and to heal. In B. Wingard & J. Lester (Eds.), Telling our stories in ways that make us stronger (pp. 41–44). Adelaide, Australia: Dulwich Centre Publications. Worden, W. (2009). Grief counseling and grief therapy: A handbook for the mental health practitioner (4th ed.). New York, NY: Springer. Yuen, A. (2007). Discovering children’s responses to trauma: A response-based narrative practice. The International Journal of Narrative Therapy and Community Work, (4), 3–18.


Chapter 5 Connecting with Non-Custodial Absent Fathers Through the Lens of Loss

by Fazlinda Faroo

Context When I was asked to present a paper on ways in which we work with fathers at the Dad’s for Life Conference in 2012, I was initially thinking of presenting one or two cases with fathers that I had worked with. But whilst drafting this paper, I realised that I had to perhaps start at the beginning and be very blunt about the matter. You see, the truth of the matter is that, in the 10 years of work with single parent families and those experiencing grief and loss, I could perhaps count with 5 fingers, the number of men, the number of fathers that come to the centre for counselling every year. Most of the men that do come forward were willing clients seeking help on custody, legal matters or practical needs.

Where Art Thou oh Fathers? The majority of my cases and clients were however, women - women who came telling stories about how awful their exes were, how terrible these fathers were to their children, fathers who abandoned the family, fathers who hardly saw their child, and fathers who hardly maintained their children. I had attempted to engage such non-custodial, absent fathers into the counselling relationship, hoping to ‘counsel’ them on the importance of being responsible for their children. Unfortunately, the honest truth, most of these attempts were not successful. Very few fathers were keen to be engaged. Leaving me and my fellow colleagues to continually lament - wherefore art thou my dear fathers? Indeed, I believe this is the real experiences of many in the social service profession. Engaging fathers into the counselling relationship is a big challenge. Ironically, life sometimes can throw us a spanner in the works at any time. So 3 years ago when I was thrusted into the world of remarriages and stepfamilies, I was suddenly presented with a situation where we had many men. As our centre provides remarriage preparation programmes, a core ingredient of which is premarital counselling with couples intending to remarry, we had men coming to the


centre every day. These were men, the ex-es who were intending to remarry with a new partner. They were not men who wanted to be counselled however. They were certainly not men who wanted to be talking about their past divorce and their relationship with their children. So I was in a conundrum - I had the men before me, the men and fathers who were so hard to reach to in the past, how could I engage these non-custodial fathers into conversations that imbibe some sense of ‘responsibility’ towards their children from previous marriages? And so I began to have casual conversations with the men that I see, hoping to find a point of entry to engage them on the subject.

Oh Fathers! A Rose would Smell as Sweet… That was when I began to appreciate that fathers just like a rose, would smell as sweet even if they were called ex-husbands. What did I learn through these encounters? I began to discover the very human side of many divorced and separated fathers out there - the side of fathers that wished for a better relationship with their children; the side of fathers that felt a tinge of guilt even as they remained distant from their children; the side of fathers that missed the kids they had, and felt the loss from a marriage that did not work out. Just like any others who had gone through a loss, separated and divorced fathers too grieved in their different ways. It was also interesting to observe how these very same men who were estranged from their own biological children, try very hard to develop a different relationship with their stepchildren at times. They try to get more involved in the lives of their stepchildren…it was almost as if they were trying for a second chance to be a father again. There’s matter in these sighs, these profound heaves You must translate - ‘tis fit we understand them - King Claudius, Hamlet And so I learned that working with separated and divorced fathers involves strategies that are more delicate than meets the eye. There’s a need for us to understand fathers and the struggles they encounter in that role. There’s a need to understand the dynamics of the marriages before the separation, for it informs us of the way forward in building fathers’ relationships with their children. Let me explain what I mean here.


Appreciating the Interactivity of Responses During the months leading up to the divorce, something happens in the interaction dynamics of the family. A process of what I term as relational isolation. Because of the ongoing conflict between the spouses, and sometimes due to the battle for custody, in many of the divorce cases, interactions between parents and children become differently aligned. The parent, usually the mom, who is more emotionally attached to the children, become even more attached to the kids as the divorce draws near. This alignment of mother and children, renders the father isolated within the family environment. A case in point was a father I encountered, Farhan. When things were better in his marriage, Farhan could come home and could easily be seated with his children to watch TV, or have a snack at the table or in the kitchen. When divorce was about to happen, however, the dynamics differed. When he came home, the children started going into their own rooms or would move away from him as he came near them. With younger kids, sometimes the mother pulls the kids into the room with her. Often times, he finds himself sitting out in the hall alone watching tv, sensing the awkwardness and the boycott of him by the family. At times, he sits alone in his room not sure if he could rejoin the kids outside as casually as he once did. If he spoke to them, they would respond monosyllabically and move away. Children themselves, for fear of seeming disloyal to their attached mom, reduced their interactions with him. As time passed and the rift between him and the children deepened, Farhan came home less often, preferring to stay out at night. Subsequently his relationship with his children deteriorated. After the divorce, he rarely saw nor kept in contact with the kids, not knowing whether they would be open to meet him nor knowing how to regain back the relationship he had lost. Farhan is not alone in this experience of isolation that happens as a process of divorce. Many of the stories of other divorced non-custodial fathers tell the same tale. They did not know how to regain the relationship. They were not even sure whether they wanted to put in the effort to regain the relationship. Farhan and the fathers I met, experienced and saw this outcome as a failure in their lives. Talking about it is equivalent to reliving the sense of failure again, and so they simply chose to move on and pretend it is not a concern. I soon realized that in trying to imbibe a greater sense of connection in these non-custodial fathers to their children, I needed to move away from the narrative of failure and instead move towards a narrative of aspirations. I needed to double listen, drawing the absent but implicit (White, 2000).


From a Narrative of Failures to a Narrative of Aspirations I have found that engaging non-custodial fathers in conversations about aspirations opened the space for deeper conversations around their identity as fathers in a nonthreatening manner. Questions as: • I wonder what it meant for you when your child was first born? • How did you hope to be a father to your children? • How did you hope for your relationship with your kids to be? • Things are perhaps not working out so great now, but I wonder, what kind of relationship with your children do you hope to one day have if things could be worked through? These were questions that engaged non-custodial fathers around their aspirations in their identity as fathers. Such conversations of aspirations were non-threatening as they pertained to dreams and hopes. These conversations also opened possibilities of alternative stories that counter the negative dominant stories of failure and divorce. From these questions that centred around the landscape of aspirations, I found that I could then tentatively move and re-author the conversation into the landscape of action: • What is one thing that you think you could do, no matter how small, so as to get to that relationship that you’d like to have with the kids? From here I could begin exploring ways of reconnecting the fathe-child relationship again.

From a Narrative of Behaviours to a Narrative of Experience of Loss In some other cases, the conversations I take with non-custodial fathers take the tone of reflecting on the experience of loss. Danial was a man in his thirties. Dashingly good looking and hunky, he was due to marry a single lady in her late twenties. Danial was divorced and had a non-custodial child, 6 years of age. His divorce and past marriage had always involved tensions around in-laws and his ex-wife had eventually one day left him, taking the child with her to return to her parents’ home in Malaysia. He had returned home to find it empty. Since then and through the divorce, Danial had decided to remain distant, not wanting to even see his child. In my conversation to gather this aspect of his past history, Danial cited these life incidents as matter–of-factly as he could, showing great discomfort about even


having to talk about the matter. As a behaviour, I could view his actions as one of abandonment of his role as a father. To engage him, however, I converted the behaviour into a conversation centred around the experience of loss.

I posed the question: • I wonder what it meant to you to come home and find your wife and 5 year old daughter no longer there?

It was a simple question that was aimed to understand the impact of the loss on him. Danial broke down. And this hunky man, sat sobbing before me as his fiancée looked on in shock. More than the loss of his wife, Danial shared that he terribly missed his daughter and the loss of her was something he grieved over. He related moments when he could recall playing with her and the joy it brought him. His poignant words were “you don’t know what its like to be a father, to this beautiful girl, my daughter – I cant explain it.” Interestingly, it was also in that conversation in which he shared that the name of his fiancée was similar to his daughter’s middle name and that was what drew him to her when he met her. It was certainly news to me and a shock to the fiancée. But that’s another story to tell.. From that conversation of loss, we could open the space for deeper conversations about what it would take for him to reconnect with his daughter, the challenges he would have to weather through and the commitment he was willing to make for this. In another case, the conversations of loss I had centred around the experience of loss for a child. Mr Saleh was a tough man. I could see from his weather-beaten face and fierce demeanour that he was not a man to mess around with. He was also an angry man. He was angry that he had to attend a pre-marital session at our centre prior to his marriage. Mr Saleh had a daughter of 3 years from his previous marriage. His relationship with his ex-wife is acrimonious, the mere mention of her would send him frowning and raising his voice. Mr Saleh refused vehemently to see his child because he refused to have to see his ex-wife, he refused to even want to be in communication with her. He blocks off all emotional attachment to his daughter from his anger towards his ex-wife. He refuses to give child support because of this anger too. He was a tough cookie to crack. In exploring his past, I learnt too that Mr Saleh himself was a child of divorce, raised by a mom whom he respects deeply. His father was someone he has no contact with. This information was integral and it was the pathway to conversations of loss


that could engage him to reflect on his identity as a father. Thus my conversations with him, steered away from his behaviour as neglectful father. Rather, it focused around his experience of loss as a child himself.

I asked him, • I wonder what it was like to have lost your father as a child when you were young? • What did it mean to you then, as a young child, to not be able to keep in touch with your father? • What did it mean to you to know that your father chose not to call you even though he knew where you and your mom were staying? • As an adult now, whats it like to have experienced all that loss as a child?

Again these conversations steered away from his behaviour towards his child but were focused solely on his personal experience of loss as a child. From here, I could move the conversation to reflect the experience of loss as experienced by his daughter by posing the question: • I wonder what its like for your child not to know or be able to see her father? It was here that the fierce and angry Mr Saleh began to mellow a little and he began sharing that he realised it was unfair to the child but that he was personally struggling to separate the child from the mother. This opened the conversation towards working with him to learn to separate the two – that anger towards his ex-spouse is not something that should necessarily affect his relationship with his child. By the end of the session, Mr Saleh had shifted his position from adamantly not wanting to have anything to do with the child, to a position where he could see himself having a reconnected relationship with his daughter. Elevating these conversations from the landscape of behaviours and actions to a landscape of aspirations and identity (White, 2007) allows for the fathers to renegotiate the stories of their lives vis-à-vis their lost child, thickening their consciousness of their identities as fathers.

Past Histories and New Learnings, Celebrating Small Acts of Concern and a Language of Inclusion And so, in working with separated or divorced non-custodial fathers, their past histories are equally useful points that can be used as leverage to introduce conversations of loss to engage fathers into thinking about the impact of their


absence on their children. We could use their past histories, we could use their past experiences of loss to invoke their identity as fathers and to inculcate a sense of ownership and connectedness to the father-child relationship. In stroking the fathers that we work with, I find that it is critically important to celebrate small acts of concern. The goal of developing a father-child relationship is a long journey, thus in the cases I work with where more often than not, the fathers have been substantially absent from their child’s life, I deliberately steer clear of big acts of commitment. Instead, I try to push for small acts of concern. A phone call a week, an sms to the child, encouraging the father to be the child’s friend on facebook. Etc these small acts of keeping in touch are the stepping stones towards developing the father-child relationship. The rule of thumb in working with noncustodial and absent fathers is ‘sustain the relationship by keeping in touch FIRST’ and then work towards strengthening a bond. Here I must remind that in working with divorced fathers towards developing a renewed father-child relationship, I have often experienced a counter reaction by the child’s mother that needs to be managed. Thus the taking of small steps reduces the sense of threat on all parties and is more amiable to them than sudden big changes.

All the World’s a Stage, and all Men and Women merely Players. They have their Exits and Entrances and One Man in his Time Plays Many Parts Inadvertently, as counsellors, we may unconsciously fall into the trap of ‘normalising judgement’(White, 2004) condemning the absent father for his obvious lack of involvement in his child’s life. Yet, the reality is that the identities of noncustodial absent fathers are far from being single-storied. Indeed, they are richly multi-storied and the use of re-authoring conversations can help co-author renewed identities that have been suppressed by emotions of anger and isolation or notions of failure. As a conclusion, I would like to invite us to reflect on the stories that divorced fathers bring. Indeed, separated and divorced fathers carry with them various stories of their life experiences. The most powerful story they have to share is their story of grief and their story of loss. Unfortunately, in a culture that till today still demands for man not to cry or be over emotional, these stories of loss are often not talked about. Yes, they mention the facts of their divorce to their friends and family, but the meaning of that loss to their manhood, to their identity as a father, as a husband, is something so deep that few would invite them to share. As counselors, I see us as having a unique role in creating a safe environment to


engage these fathers in such conversations of loss. In fact, from such conversations, I have seen men mellow, big burly men cry, tattooed gangsters mourn. So I invite you to look for these stories that belie each divorced father you meet. Therein lies a story of loss to understand.

References White, M (2000). Reflections on Narrative Practices : Interviews and essays. Adelaide : Dulwich Centre Publications White, M (2004). Chap 5 : Addressing Personal failure. In Narrative Practice and Exotic Lives: Resurrecting Diversity in Everyday Life. Adelaide: Dulwich Centre Publications. White, M (2007). Maps of Narrative Practice. NY : WW Norton & Company


Chapter 6 A Narrative Approach in Responding to “Short of Cash”

by Guan Jiaying

(Names and identifying information have been changed to protect clients’ identities)

R

ichard’s two children had stopped receiving financial assistance from The Straits Times School Pocket Money Fund (SPMF) for two years. The family approached our organisation again in 2014 for financial assistance. Richard had been experiencing difficulties in providing pocket money to his children, now aged 14 and 15, despite intense efforts on his part as the sole income earner and single father. Richard was in his mid-fifties when I first met him. He had a regular job as a food stall assistant but the meagre income was insufficient to sustain the living expenses for the family of four, which included his mother. I had the opportunity to meet Richard and his two children, Melissa, 15, and Michael, 14. Together with their father, we explored ways to either “up” the household income or “relieve” the tight financial situation. The dominant discourse that faced Richard was the need for him to attend skills upgrading courses that would increase his chances of finding a job with better pay, before he would be considered to be a suitable beneficiary of assistance. Richard strongly rejected this expectation placed on him, and I was mindful to join him through an ethic of collaboration (White, 1997). Richard felt oppressed in this dominant discourse, especially when faced with the task of attending these courses that are commonly conducted in English, which was not a language he was proficient in. Richard had also shared about his current work, where in spite of his low pay, he experiences job security, and a positive working environment where his colleagues boss that accept him. In our society, there are dominant discourses regarding the “right” way to achieve success. In reality, Richard, who used to be an ex-offender experiences difficulties in finding a stable job. There are societal and moral expectations on this single father of two to be responsible for earning sufficient income to care for his children and elderly mother. The inclusion of children and young persons in our work with families in poverty is fundamental to the Family Service Centre (FSC) where I work in. Young people


play an active role in negotiating the effects of financial hardships in their families. I wondered about their skills and knowledges. What are their knowledges about how they coped to ensure basic needs were met? What skills and strategies do these young people have? I am interested in how we can support and respond to children and young people, living with financial hardships. At the same time, I hoped to collaboratively contribute to their sense of agency and honour the skills that guide them through the difficult times. Having had personal experience in facing financial hardship, I am passionate about this work. Melissa, Michael and I continued to meet over a period of two months. This paper contains the stories, skills and knowledges that were described during our meetings. We had endeavored to explore the meanings which the young persons “employ to make sense of their experience and guide their actions” (McLeod, 2013, p.111).

Externalising “financial hardship” I asked, “What do you think has happened that made your father want to approach FSC to apply for SPMF?” I was curious about what the young people have reasoned about their father approaching FSC for assistance.. Their 94-year-old grandmother had fallen ill in the recent months and was recently hospitalised. The family did not have enough cash to foot the hospital bills. Melissa knew that their family has financial problems. I went on to ask, “What kind of financial problem is that?” Some would call it “money not enough”. Some might say that it is “financial difficulty”. The term “financial difficulty” is widely used by local institutions such as the government offices and schools. In experience-near language, the pair of siblings found ways to articulate financial hardships in a way that fits well for them. I began to interview them through these questions to negotiate an experience-near definition of the problem (White, 2007). Melissa described the problem as Short of Cash, which Michael agreed. We then went on to explore the effects Short of Cash on the various aspects of their lives. The following questions were asked to create space between them and Short of Cash (Russell & Carey, 2004): • How old were you when you first realised that your family was affected by Short of Cash? • What are some reasions why Short of Cash is happening? • Does Short of Cash become more worrying during any particular time of the year?


• Who else knows about this Short of Cash? • What do you think your grandmother thinks about this Short of Cash? • How does this Short of Cash affect you in school?

Short of Cash has been around for a long time but the siblings first experienced its effects when they started secondary school. They noticed that canteen food was more expensive than before and there were more things required by their school teachers. Michael shared about a time when he needed to buy a pair of squash shoes for his Co-Curriculum Activities (CCA) but experienced difficulties because of Short of Cash. Sometimes, he would have to use his money meant for food to pay for stationery.. Melissa added that there were days when she went through school without lunch because she only had enough cash for recess time. On days when they were out for school excursions, they did not have extra cash with them too. Besides exploring the effects of Short of Cash in school, the siblings could sense that their grandmother is “very worried” about the effects of Short of Cash from the sleepless nights that she had. Melissa shared that Short of Cash is due to “an unbalance” that is caused by the high household expenses in relation to the low salary that their father was earning. “If you could say something to Short of Cash, what would you say?” I asked. The siblings were invited to evaluate the effects of Short of Cash but they went “huh?” It was a moment of awkwardness for me. I grabbed a soft toy to represent Short of Cash and asked the question again. • If you can say something to Short of Cash, what would you like to say? Maybe you can blame it, scold it… what would you say? • Do you think it’s okay to have this Short of Cash? Or not okay? Or little bit of both? Melissa wanted to say to Short of Cash, “Go away and make our lives better.” Michael laughed and said, “Make money drop from the sky.” We had a good laugh at his response. We went on to talk about their dreams and hopes. I asked, “What might Short of Cash do to challenge your dreams and hopes?” Melissa has hopes to study at a local polytechnic but was worried about Short of Cash making it difficult for her to pay for her school fees and buy food from school canteen. Michael has dreams of becoming a chef and an artist but he thinks that Short of Cash might stop him from taking art lessons. I learnt that by objectifying Short of Cash, it allowed the siblings to reflect


and speak about it from a safe distance. Melissa went on to share that she would be able to do charitable work like donating money and food rations to the needy in the community if Short of Cash was absent from their lives. Taking into account the complexities of experience, the siblings were able to take a position in relation to Short of Cash and began to reclaim their lives from its effects (Russell & Carey, 2004).

Consulting your consultants: From clients to consultants Epston and White (1990) have aptly illustrated how sessions with people who consult us can be conceived as a special meeting to explore their knowledges of problem-solving that have enabled them to liberate their lives. Certainly, young persons’ insider knowledges deserve to be first made known to them (Marsten, Epston & Johnson, 2011). These ideas influenced my discussions with the siblings: Jiaying: Most of the time when people come and see us social workers or school counsellors, many of them think that they can take advice from us because they have often got to a point where they believe there is something problematic about them. Is that somewhat similar to your understanding? Melissa: (nodded) Jiaying: In fact, it’s the other way round. We learn a lot of knowledge from people who come to see us. It has been my ongoing effort to collect knowledges from people that I talk with, like you. So when I get to meet other young persons who are also experiencing problems such as short of cash, perhaps I can share your knowledge and skills with them. So would you be okay to support this effort in collecting knowledges about problem-solving? Melissa: (nodded) Generally in Singapore, the dominant discourse is that children are brought to see helping professionals because they are known to have problems in the social, behavioural and emotional development. Hence, my hopw was to resist this prevalent discourse by introducing the gift of consultancy (Epston & White, 1990). The orientation questions I posed serve to emphasise that Melissa’s knowledge is significant. It was my task to assist these young people in identifying some of the unique outcomes of their lived experience (White, 2007). In preparation for this storyline development, it is appropriate to engage the young people in the


articulation and naming of these knowledge (Epston & White, 1990). Jiaying: Let’s see… you shared about the time when you had money for recess but not enough for lunch in school. There are times when Michael had no stationery and you solved it by using your recess money to buy. Would you agree or disagree that you tried to solve the problem by going hungry? Melissa: (nodded) Jiaying: Do you have other examples that you can share with me? Melissa: Like we go for big day out, we also don’t have extra cash. So we see people eat. Jiaying: What kind of big day out was that? Melissa: It was a school outing. We go to the Discovery Centre. And then, the things there are very expensive. We didn’t eat. Jiaying: Did your classmates buy something to eat? Melissa: Mmmm (nodded) Jiaying: Were you the only one that did not buy something to eat? Melissa: Yes Jiaying: How was it for you then? Melissa: Mmmm…I feel left out.

Negotiating experience-near language In this part of the conversation, I had attempted to externalize the experience of being “left out”. The following conversation shows the negotiation that occurs as to whether the term “left out” was one that connected to Melissa, or whether she would prefer another term to describe her experience (Ingamelles & Epston, 2012) Jiaying: Will it be okay for you that we continue to talk about this “left out” in this conversation? Melissa: Yes (nodded) Jiaying: When you talk about the feeling of “left out”, is it a one-time situation or you actually experience it several times? Melissa: Yeah… (Laughed) Jiaying: Can you highlight other times when you experience the feeling of “left out”? Melissa: It’s not just financial difficulties. It’s my friendship. I have 2 friends and sometimes, they just decide to go without me. Jiaying: I wonder how does the feeling of left out makes you feel about yourself?


Like some would say that the feeling of left out makes them feel lousy about themselves… some would say that it makes them feel not good enough… that they are not good friends… How does left makes you feel? Melissa: Like I’m invisible to them Jiaying: When in the face of left out, have you ever tried to overcome left out or do you just leave it there? Melissa: I try to fit in

Re-authoring conversation Strengths cards were then introduced to find out what helped them to manage Short of Cash. I invited them to pick out the cards that best described their acts of resistance. Is this word very close to what you think about yourself? Or do you have another word? Or is this word okay to you? Would you prefer to use this word or you have another word of your own? These questions gave them the right of naming (Ingamells & Epston, 2012). Melissa chose the Quiet card and Michael chose the Independent card. With this, I began to try out questions which I hoped would lead to the uncovering of the stories behind Quiet and Independent. • When did you first realised about Quiet (or Independent)? • Do you remember how old were you then? In secondary school or primary school? Or it has been present for as long as you can remember? • Can you tell a story about how you used Quiet (or Independent)? • Who would be least surprised to know that you have been using Quiet (or Independent)? Melissa shared that she knew of Quiet for as long as she can remember whereas Michael knew of Independent when he was in secondary school. Melissa further shared how Quiet kept her from being judged by others because of Short of Cash. Now that she realised that it is difficult to earn money, Quiet was her response in supporting and understanding her father. When I interviewed Michael about Independent, I sought to scaffold questions to help him to move from the ‘known and familiar’ to ‘what is possible to know’ (White, 2007). I work through a couple of ways of being this Independent. For example: • Some would say that being independent means that they know what to do with their pocket money.


• Some would say that being independent means that they know how to spend their money wisely.

Before Michael could respond to the scaffold, Melissa quickly pointed out that he ‘is very good at saving money’. After some explorations, we learnt that Savings was a more experience-near word than Independent. Jiaying: How did you know that he is very good at saving money? Michael: (laughed) By looking at the money in his piggy bank! Jiaying: How do you decide how much money goes into piggy bank? Michael: Take the money that… recess time will need and I put the rest into piggy bank Jiaying: Do you put money into piggy bank every day? Michael: (laughed) No… Sometimes Jiaying: So during those sometimes, you will decide how much you will spend during recess time and put the rest into piggy bank? Michael: Yes Jiaying: Is that something to show that you are independent? Michael: I think so Jiaying: What makes you want to do that? When did you start? Michael: I want to learn saving…since I was in primary six Jiaying: Why primary six? Michael: Because I know that expenses in secondary school is very high. Sometimes, I give my money to my father when he does not have enough. My father borrows from me and I lend my money to him. Jiaying: Is that also a time when you realised that the family has this Short of Cash? Michael: Yes Jiaying: When father borrows money from you, do you feel anything from here? Michael: I feel hurt. Because my money is gone Jiaying: Who else knows about you and this savings? Michael: My grandma As we unfold the stories, the siblings agreed that Quiet and Savings were their respective skills in coping with Short of Cash. After these conversations, I was able to produce a written account of their lived experiences of the effects of Short of Cash. As much as I would like to avoid taking a lead role in the attribution of meaning, I found this influential approach helpful in providing them with an opportunity to


comment on the documents. Somehow this has managed to invite the young persons to authenticate my claim and make alterations to it. It has also flattened the hierarchies of knowledge between adults and young persons and, moreover, between ‘experts’ and young persons (Marsten, Epston & Johnson, 2011).

Letters Therapeutic letters present the means in recording the siblings’ significant life stories:

Hello Michael, Thanks for sharing your stories with me. It was good to meet you and know more about you. As I said to you when we last met, I would like to write letter to you. This time I am writing to see if I can summarise our conversations and to ask a couple of things I’ve been wondering about the strengths that help you through Short of Cash. During our first meeting, when I asked you what you wanted for your future and you shared about your dreams of becoming ‘a chef’ or ‘an artist’. Just like Melissa, you were very sure about wanting Short of Cash to ‘go away’. You think that Short of Cash may affect your dreams, for e.g. not having extra cash to pay for drawing lesson if you want to improve your ability to draw. You have described how Short of Cash has affected you in school. When you needed to buy a pair of ‘squash shoes’, you met Short of Cash. Your teacher also knows about Short of Cash and you told her that you have money. You knew that your father will ‘settle’ short of cash and get you money to buy squash shoes. Somehow, he did and you got your squash shoes! When your stationery runs out, you need to use your ‘recess money’ to buy some so you have ‘no money to buy food during recess time’. I remember being amazed by how you manage the feeling of ‘hungry’. You would distract yourself by ‘playing soccer’ and not think about ‘hungry’. You described that you like ‘hungry’ because it helps you to eat a lot when you get home. Did you become better at ‘distracting’ yourself as


you grow older? I’m really curious about your strength of ‘distracting yourself’: 1. How old were you when you first knew how to ‘distract yourself’? 2. When are the times that you know it is useful to ‘distract’ yourself? Maybe other than Short of Cash. 3. How often do you have to ‘distract’ yourself? 4. Does it work all the time? When does it work best? The other thing I’ve been wondering is your desire to have ‘savings’, which your grandmother has taught you. You have shared some specific ways in using your ‘savings’, such as buying things that you like, ‘helping’ your father when he needs money. You described the feeling of ‘hurt’ when your father took some of your savings. You are saving very hard now to buy a pair of soccer boots! You find that it is ‘challenging’ because it takes a very long time to save up money. Even though it is ‘challenging’ but you are still trying! What does this says about your efforts? Good or bad efforts? Or maybe a little bit of both? Anyway Michael, I will finish here and look forward to seeing you next Saturday and hearing what you think about this letter. Warmly, Jiaying 12/8/2014

Dear Melissa, Thanks for sharing your stories with me. It was good to meet you and know more about you. As I said to you when we last met, I would like to write letter to you. This time I can writing to see if I can summarise our conversations and to ask a couple of things I’ve been wondering about regarding the strengths that help you through Short of Cash, which often


brings along ‘left out’. During our first meeting, when I asked you what you wanted for your future and you were very sure about wanting Short of Cash to ‘go away’. You wanted Short of Cash to stop making life difficult for you. You have also shared some of the ways that,Short of Cash does to make your life difficult. You described an easy life would look like you have money to help the needy through donating money and handing out food rations. The things you share with me included the ‘left out’ times, as you mentioned. You described how you managed it during school outings by being ‘quiet’ and distracting yourself by playing on your mobile phone. You described how Short of Cash also affects you in school, for e.g. not having ‘extra cash’ for lunch on days when you have long day in school. You shared that being ‘quiet’ is helpful because you don’t want to be ‘judged’ by others and to be seen as ‘poor’. I remember being impressed by how you become better at ‘being quiet’ as you grow older. You said you used to complain a lot about your father not earning enough when you were younger. Now that you realised that it is difficult to earn money, you learn to be ‘quiet’. I’ve been wondering what some small steps that you take to ‘being quiet’.

For example, 1. When are the times that you know it is helpful to ‘be quiet’? 2. Who are you with? For e.g. father, mother, school friends, teachers, relatives 3. Where will you be? 4. Do you watch out for people’s facial reactions? 5. Do you pay attention to what others are saying or doing?

The other thing I’ve been wondering is what you do to distract yourself. You have shared some specific ways of distracting yourself, such as making new friends when your friendships become a little problematic and playing on your phone when your friends are sort of enjoying the things that they buy during school excursions. Is there anything that you do to distract yourself when you were younger? Anyway Melissa, I will finish here and look forward to seeing you next


Saturday and hearing what you think about this letter. Warmly, Jiaying 12/8/2014

Third session (two weeks later) Both Michael and Melissa shared about how they “felt good” reading the letters about themselves. As a way of appreciating their contributions to these stories, I wrote them Thank You cards. The contents of these cards were based on my reflection as an outsider witness, according to the four categories of inquiry by White (2007),: expression, image, resonance and transport. The cards were read to the young persons in the meeting. I noticed their smiles and nods as I read aloud to them. It was a special moment to acknowledge their skills that have enabled them during hard times.

Dear Michael, I felt touched to hear that you are trying to depend on your savings to buy things that you want such as soccer boots. In my mind, I can imagine you trying very hard to save up your already insufficient pocket money yet; the savings can be helpful for your father. I guess that you might be feeling heart pain as you see your savings decreasing. I think that Independent seems important to you as you very much wanted to buy things that you like on your own. And you are also very caring and understanding towards your father because Short of Cash also creates troubled for him. So, you want to help him out! You are not selfish, am I right to say that? I used to share similar experience! I think Short of Cash have taught me to be Independent too! I started to work part-time when I was 17 years old. Since then, I’ve been relying on my income to support myself.


Of course, there are times when my parents needed money from me! I too felt hurt that I have to give some of my hard-earned money to them! But I felt okay after a while. I began to see Independent being present in my life and at work. Being ‘independent’, I am focus on my work. And, I learn to look out for my colleagues too! I think Independent is beautiful. Warmly, Jiaying 23/08/2014

Dear Melissa, As I listened to our last conversation, I was interested when you said,’left out’. In my mind, I can imagine you sitting with your group of friends. While your friends are chatting away, I can think of you being quietly sitting with them. Your skill of keeping Quiet stands out to me! I guess that you wanted to protect yourself, which is something that you can do for yourself. Maybe you are protecting yourself from feeling hurt? Or perhaps by keeping Quiet is your way of telling people that you are okay? I experienced Left Out before! It was during my days in polytechnic. Left Out was present during most of my time in polytechnic. Then, I had to work part-time to earn some pocket money. I remembered the many days when I had to rush off after class. In the end, my classmates did not want me to be part of their project group. That’s really horrible! Instead of speaking up, keeping quiet helped to mask the feelings of Left Out. I could not be bothered to explain to my classmates. Anyway, they wouldn’t understand my situation! As you were talking about Left Out, I was reminded of those difficult times in school. I am impressed by my skills! Not many young persons can do that! I must say that I admire myself for being through those difficult times. Because I chose to say or not to say things in whatever ways that I


feel comfortable…There is power in Quiet, isn’t it? Warmly, Jiaying 23/08/2014

In their attempt to archive the knowledge and make it accessible to others(Epston, 2001), the siblings wrote a document to share their experience and skills with other young persons and also social workers who work persons facing financial difficulties. Melissa shared that she would like to write letters to her friends who are going through sadness or difficult times. She hoped that the use of letters would also be a means of comfort to others. It is also her way of expressing herself while being Quiet.

Hello! I am 14 years old this year and I have meet Short of Cash when I was 13 years old. I don’t like Short of Cash because I can’t buy the thing I wanted but I will save money so I can buy the thing I want. Sometime when my stationery run out, I will use my recess money to buy the stationery. Sometime it make me hungry so I will distract myself by playing sport. If you have Short of Cash, don’t be sad. When you grow up, you can be INDEPENDENT! By: Michael

Hello there! I know Short of Cash when I was in secondary one. Now, I’m in secondary three. This Short of Cash cause me to be Quiet. I’m having the same


situation as you and I know how you feel. Being Quiet is my strength. But it led to Left Out too. Because sometimes my friends asked me what happened but I choose not to say and they thought I don’t trust them. Slowly, we drifted. We are no longer how we used to be, but hey, people change, right? So stay strong! This Short of Cash problem will go away soon, alright! Have a positive mindset, stay positive, cheerful & happy! Cheers, Melissa

Instead of assuming a not-knowing stance, Brown (2006) argues that in order to practice effectively, the narrative practitioner must have knowledge and agency to contribute to the conversation, hence positioning practitioner and client as partial knowers. Like Melissa and Michael, I am also an insider. Some of their responses struck a chord for me, in view of my own experiences with financial difficulties. What have emerged from our conversations was precious, and I wanted to acknowledge and connect links around the shared themes in order to powerfully contribute to the richly thickened preferred storylines (Russell & Carey, 2004). A collective narrative document (Denborough, 2008) was thus, co-created with the two young persons: Living with Short of Cash: the talented skills that keep young persons going This document describes what sustains the young persons in Singapore, in living with short of cash. It is hoped that this document can be shared with others who are living in similar situations, both here and in other parts of the world. The art of distracting When Short of Cash affects us in school, some of us have learnt ways of distracting ourselves. For me, everything in secondary school is more expensive than that in primary school. There were days when I had to use my recess money to buy stationery. There were days when I had only enough pocket money for recess time but not lunch. I play sports to ignore hunger. I play on my mobile phone to forget about hunger. We know that we can go home for food that is prepared by my grandmother. It is okay for me to have this feeling of hunger so that I can eat more at home!


We do everything we can to distract ourselves from the feeling of hunger. At times, it is better to speak less There are times when it is better to speak less. This is true for us as children and also for us as individuals. My father did not earn enough money for the family and I used to complain a lot when I was a young child. As I grew older, I watched him as he worked. I started to learn that it is a lot of hard work to earn a living. My grandmother used to remind me not to talk rubbish. I learnt the importance of speaking less in school. When short of cash is present, some of us really dislike others to know about it. I tried not to talk about short of cash with my friends as I do not want them to judge and look down on me. Sometimes, our friends may not understand us and they may not understand short of cash. Whenever short of cash makes me feel invisible among my friends, I try to fit in. I learnt this myself. I learnt this myself.

To be independent Independence means a lot to us. Many of us have little pocket money. We have had no choice. We have learnt to make decisions on how we spend our pocket money. Once, I had to buy a pair of squash shoes and of course, I do not have that kind of money! Somehow, my father solved the problem for me. I know that he cares for me. We know that he tries his best to provide for us. When I was twelve years old, my grandmother taught me about the importance of saving money. I learnt that I can save some money to buy the things that I want. Although it can take a very long time before I save up the money, I managed to start saving by deciding how much money I want to bring to school each day.

Looking to an easier life For as long as we can remember, we have known short of cash. Some of us seem to know it better when we started our higher education, such as, secondary school. That is because things are more expensive. We have learnt to deal with so much effects of short of cash. We have hopes to further our education and pursue our interests. I want to stay positive and look forward to an easier life. When my life gets easier, I will want to help the needy and poor in the community. One day, I want to be able to donate money and food rations to them.


References Brown, C., & Augusta-Scott, T. (2006). Narrative Therapy: Making Meaning, Making Lives. Thousand Oaks, Calif: Sage Publications. Epston, D. (2001). Anthropology, archives, co-research and narrative therapy. In Denborough, D. (Ed.), Family Therapy: Exploring the Field’s Past, Present and Possible Futures (pp. 177—182). Adelaide, Australia: Dulwich Centre Publications. Denborough, D. (2008). Collective Narrative Practice: Responding to individuals, groups, and communities who have experienced trauma. Adelaide: Dulwich Centre Publications. Epston, D., & White, M. (1990). Consulting your consultants: The documentation of alternative knowledges. In J. Hales (Ed.), Experience, Contradiction, Narrative & Imagination (pp. 11-26). Adelaide, Australia: Dulwich Centre Publications. Ingamells, K., & Epston, D. (2012). Placing strengths into storylines: building bridges between strengths-based and narrative approaches. The International Journal of Narrative Therapy and Community Work, 3. Marsten, D., Epston, D., & Johnson, L. (2011). Consulting your consultants, revisited. The International Journal of Narrative Therapy and Community Work, 3, 57-71. McLeod, J. (2013). An introduction to research in counselling and psychotherapy. Thousand Oaks, Calif.: SAGE. Russell, S., & Carey, M. (2004). Narrative Therapy: Responding to your questions. Adelaide, South Australia: Dulwich Centre Publications. The School Pocket Money Fund. (2014). Electronic references. Retrieved October 5, 2014, from http://www.stschoolpocketmoneyfund.org.sg/web/spmf-background.php White, M. (1997). Narratives of therapists’ lives. Adelaide, Australia: Dulwich Centre Publications. White, M. (2007). Maps of narrative practice (1st ed.). New York: W.W. Norton & Co. Yellow Ribbon Fund. (2012). Yellow Ribbon Fund Annual Report. Singapore: Yellow Ribbon Fund. after being punished by the discipline mistress.


Chapter 7 A Children’s Group Work on Stress Management

by Prema Mohan

For all the child participants of this project who got me thinking about “work with joy”. “Work is love made visible. And if you cannot work with love but only with distaste, it is better that you should leave your work and sit at the gate of the temple and take alms of those who work with joy” ~ Kahlil Gibran

Introduction This paper discusses a four session group work programme run for children from age nine to ten over four consecutive weeks. I attempt to discuss the use of various ideas of narrative practices for the group work sessions, namely: 1. The use of individual and/or collective externalizing conversations (including secondary story development) 2. The use of re-authoring conversations (tracing the social, relational, cultural histories of skills and knowledges) 3. The use of Re-membering conversations 4. Ways of linking people’s lives around shared preferred themes (including outsider witness/ definitional ceremony structures) 5. The use of letters, documents, certificates 6. The use of archiving solution knowledges and sharing these knowledges between people 7. The use of collective narrative methodologies – An adaptation of the Tree of Life In my attempt to practice the above competencies, I admit that for us to rigorously follow recommended guidelines and maps of practice presented a challenge. Attempts were made instead to incorporate guidelines and maps of practice in a fluid and random manner.


The Beginnings In section I attempt to give a brief background of the agency that I work for and the beginnings of Children’s Issues Group as part of the programmes under a family service centre (FSC) in Singapore. Every residential district has an FSC of its own that aims to serve the community in that particular vicinity. This group work programme was conducted in an FSC that serves the residents of Sengkang and Punggol, which are relatively new estates established in Singapore. This estate has been observed to house a high number of younger families, foreign and permanent resident families, expat families and the middle and high income earners. In the last financial year, the centre served a significant number of individuals and families who had come forth with financial woes. Since the agency has been tasked to disburse the Straits Times School Pocket Money Fund (SPMF) assistance for Primary and Secondary level students who are in need, we have the opportunity to interact with many families on their financial difficulties. Recipient-families of SPMF are required to have regular follow up sessions with their respective Social Workers to collaboratively work towards coping and managing their financial circumstances. The topic of Stress Management was selected by these families as stress is something commonly experienced across all age groups and across presenting concerns of families that approach the FSCs Twelve school going children between the age ranges of nine to twelve were selected to participate in 4 sessions of general Stress Management group work conducted weekly. These children were selected by Social Workers in consultation with the families known to the FSC. An average of ten children attended these sessions regularly. Each run lasted for one and a half hours and was conducted by two facilitators.

The Stress Management Group Work with Children had the following objectives: 1. Participants are able to share thoughts and ideas in a safe environment. 2. Participants are able to discuss and share about the knowledge they have in stress management in their lives. 3. Participants are able to discuss and share about the skills that they have in managing stress in their lives. 4. Participants are able to share ideas about stress management in an enjoyable way. 5. Participants are able to identify members in their lives who would be able to acknowledge their knowledge and skills in managing stress. 6. Participants are able to contribute to the lives of other children through their sharing of their experiences in managing stress.


Activities that were done with children were aimed at achieving some or all of the above objectives.

Some Guiding Premises Some philosophies guided in our preparation for and the facilitation of these group sessions. Some of these include: 1. An awareness about the way children learn as a guide towards selecting appropriate activities and materials for the session. The use of a range of concrete, visual and audio materials allows children to stay engaged during sessions. 2. An awareness about children’s developmental tasks at between the ages of nine to twelve will help us to acknowledge the skills and knowledges that children have. 3. Children’s group related management skills enable facilitators and child participants to collaboratively experience accomplishment of tasks. 4. Children’s group related management skills enable facilitators, child and adult participants to experience positive interaction with one another. 5. Children’s group related management skills allow for children to choose the environment that is the most conducive for their functioning in the group. 6. Children are meaning makers. 7. Meanings that children and significant adults ascribe to children’s experiences shape their life and the actions that they take in their lives. 8. Children’s identities are socially and relationally constructed in collaboration with other children and adults in their lives. As such, their identities are social and public achievement, and are not static. 9. Facilitators are encouraged to take a decentred and yet influential position with children with curiosity about the expertise that they bring in to the groups. 10. “The interplay between adults and children allows for the enrichment of narratives” (Freedman, Epston & Lobovits, 1997, pp. 7). Relationship between adults and children through re-membering, outsider witness practices allows for party to bring in unique resources. 11. Children ought to be consulted as authorities on their own lives. 12. Children’s pre-existing and newly acquired knowledges and abilities are deemed effective and worth of respect” (Freedman, Epston & Lobovits, 1997, pp. 126). 13. Children’s “ideas are significant enough to be documented and circulated to


others” (Freedman, Epston & Lobovits, 1997, pp. 127). 14. “Unlicensed” (Freedman, Epston & Lobovits, 1997, pp. 173) co-facilitators (such as MR CHATTERBOX) creates a safe distance for children to discuss about sensitive and difficult issues. 15. Unlicensed co-facilitators introduce an air of creativity and playfulness in group work sessions with children. In no priority of order, the above premises guided us along planning and facilitation of group work sessions for the children. The above is also not an exhaustive list of premises that we attempted to rigidly throughout the group sessions.

The Use of the Individual and/or Collective Externalizing Conversations Externalizing Conversations (White, 2007) were carried out with children through discussion and activities. An attempt to create a safe distance to talk about Stress in the lives of children was created through the introduction of a fictitious character – Elizabeth. An audio reproduction of Elizabeth’s story was provided for children to listen (rather than read) to the character’s experience. The existence of Stress in their lives located and identified. Children were engaged in talking about the impact Stress has in their lives. They identified Stress’s influence over children’s lives by responding to the following questions: • How does Stress influence children and the people in their lives? • What does Stress do to children? • What does Stress make them feel or think about? • How do they even know Stress is around in your lives? Interaction with children from multi-stressed families in other contexts informed us that usually these children prefer to respond to pictorial and visual presentations as opposed to written and oral modes of expressions. Since this was the first few activities for the children, we intended this activity to be as non-threatening as possible. It was also a deliberate attempt to steer away from replicating the expectations of “performance” and “excellence” children would experience in their schools. Children were given pictures to put up on the activities of Stress in Elizabeth’s life as well as the lives of children in similar circumstances. The picture below shows some of the children’s responses to the questions above.


Children were also given a chance of evaluate the effects of Stress and justify the evaluation through the following discussion: • What name would you give the stressors? How would you like to call these stressors? • Is (name of stressor) a friend or an enemy? • Why is it a friend or enemy? • Who else might think that (name of stressor) is an enemy? All children agreed that Stress is often an enemy to children and that it has effects that influence the lives of children in undesirable ways. Children were able to be playful (without discounting the seriousness of Elizabeth’s stressors) in the ways that they went about their responses. Being physically engaged through the use of pictures, further allowed children to be creative in their expressions and not be limited by their preference against oral and written modes of expressions. The consulting of prior knowledges about Singaporean children’s preferred manner of self expression helped facilitate a safe environment for children to share their responses verbally. Re-Authoring Conversations Opportunities were created for children to develop subordinate story lines where they recall and share experiences about having managed stress in their lives through the Apartment of Life activity, conducted in the second session of the group work.


The following were discussed: • What are the skills, abilities you have to overcome stress/ challenges? This gave children room to recognise their abilities in keeping stress at bay. Some of the children’s responses were as follow: “Cooking” “Helpful, a good sister that care for her siblings” “Never give up” “Taking care of my brother” “Never say die!” “Care for my sister” “Can get higher marks” “I have the abilities to be calm” “I have the skills to control stress” “Can get 1st in class” Themes of care for others, perseverance and achievement surfaced in the responses that children gave. Participants’ belief and value that children deserve to have their lives free from Stress’s clutch could have been further explored across time. The social, relational and cultural history of this value could have been traced for rich re-authoring conversations.

The Use of Re-membering Conversations Re-membering conversations was attempted throughout the sessions with children. When doing the Apartment of Life activity, the following prompts were used: • Who are the important people in your life? • What gifts have you received from people around you that have helped you in overcoming stress/ challenges? How come these people chose you to give such gifts to? • Some of the children’s responses were as follow: “Parents who gives us works of encouragement” “Parents that shower us with unconditional love and care” “Mum giv hopes and good things” “Mommy’s love, mommy’s hugs” “Daddy’s love, daddy’s hugs” “My grandmother show care and concern to me”


When conducting the Activities Tour and Cast-Stress-Out! Activity, attempts were also made for children and significant adults to recognize one another’s contribution in the present (as opposed to in history) in managing stress in their lives. Children and significant adults who turned up also encountered difficulties in comprehending these questions often requiring translation as most of these adults were not English speaking. The few who turned up spoke in three other indigenous languages making discussions between children and adults almost impossible. As such responses of children were revisited about the knowledges and skills they had in managing stress instead.

The Use of Letters, Documents, Certificates Documents, Certificates and Invitation Cards were used throughout the four sessions for varying purposes. As mentioned earlier, consideration was extended to the fact that children may have preference for pictorial and auditory means of communication as opposed to written forms. Most of these children had also been identified as average learners in school and often experienced “failures” when it comes to tasks that require them to write or talk. Therefore much of the creation of documents for children was done either collaboratively or by us the facilitators. The Apartment of Life Worksheet, Key Learning Points Worksheet, and the Sample of CHATTERBOX TIMES are ways where collaborative documents were used for children to recollect alternative stories, current developments and future prospects (Freedman, Epston & Lobovits, 1997, pp. 114). The weekly issue of CHATTERBOX TIMES was also a vehicle through which significant adults and caregivers of children were encouraged to be engaged in sharing the experiences of the sessions at home. CHATTERBOX TIMES had three main components. The first is a description of the activities that children were involved in for that particular day, the second includes MR CHATTERBOX’s affirmation to children for the things that went well during the session and suggestions on how things could be better and the last section included MR CHATTERBOX’s responses to children’s comments and questions that came in through the feedback forms. Though, strictly speaking, these may not be considered as collective documents by children, we were inspired to replicate a form of “collective document” that is largely mooted by the facilitators but also “authenticated” by children when their inputs are sought. Instead of Letter Writing, children were encouraged to create an invitation for a significant adult in their lives who might acknowledge their knowledges and skills in stress management. This invitation was meant to recognize significant adults for the contributions that they have made in their children’s lives. Children were given


the choice to articulate verbally to their significant adults the invitation to attend the next session and to discuss their Apartment of Life activity with them prior the session. Certificates were prepared for children, which had also included facilitators’ affirmations of positive traits that were observed in the previous three sessions. An opportunity was also given for significant adults and their children in the final session to co-create acknowledgement statements of the knowledges and skills their children had used in managing stress. Since adults present were not English speaking, they helped children with decorating their certificates while children came up with the statements of acknowledgement that the adults agreed with through the signatories on the certificates. These adults were also invited to present these children with the certificates, in an attempt to create “audiences” for the many skills that children possess.

The Use of Archiving Solution Knowledges and Sharing these Knowledges between Children and Significant Adults Knowledges and skills they have in managing stress were noted down on coloured papers and deposited into the TREASURE CHEST OF GOOD THINGS. Activities such as My Words of Wisdom, and Apartment of Life allowed children to identify some knowledges and skills they have in keeping stress at bay. These archives were also shared with children and significant adults in the final session. Some of the children’s responses include the following: “Encourage a friend when he or her feel like giving up”


“Feel happy for friends” “I think you can get better results if you never give up hope” While commenting on one another’s Apartments, children also experienced giving and receiving affirmations to one another. Receiving and giving affirmations were skills that kept stress out in the lives for children as recognized by some children in a brief discussion.

The Use of Collective Narrative Methodologies – The Apartment of Life An adaptation from The Tree of Life (Ncube, 2008), The Apartment of Life was created to get children to share about aspects of the lives though a common metaphor – An apartment or known as a HDB Flat locally. Majority of the population in Singapore lives in flats and the images of housing flats are everyday sights to almost every Singaporean child. As such a decision was made to draw on this metaphor as a tool for children to recognize and share about some aspects of their lives. The following is a description of the different parts of the Apartment and what they stand for:

▪ Foundation – what has been taught about challenges in your life, who has taught you about overcoming challenges in your life, what do you know about overcoming challenges in your life? ▪ Ground - What are all the activities that you are participating in/ places/ contexts where some of these challenges may come up? ▪ Door - What are the skills, abilities you have to overcome stress/ challenges? ▪ Windows - Who are the important people in your life?


What gifts have you received from people around you that have helped you in overcoming stress/ challenges? How come these people chose you to give such gifts to? ▪ Clouds - What are some dreams, hopes and aspirations you have in your life? Some of the children’s responses are as follows:

Though some children were able to respond to some of the parts of the Apartment of Life, most children faced difficulties in understanding the metaphor and what the parts of the Apartments stood for. Most children struggled with responding to “Ground” and “Foundation”. Linguistically simpler instructions and explanations would be helpful should this activity be replicated.


A collective look at the Apartments as an Estate interested children where they were encouraged to include affirming comments for one another’s apartments. Children who participated in this group work seemed to draw a lot of support from parents and grandparents when it came to managing stress in their lives. Almost all the children’s hopes and dreams revolved around achieving academic excellence at school, having better financial circumstances at home or having their basic needs for shelter and some materials met. Many had hopes and dreams for their family members. The theme of care for others was strong in the responses of these children. Some of these children mentioned that the value of perseverance in their lives was an important foundational message that significant adults taught them. Though there were significant responses made by the children, the facilitators were faced with a challenge to get them to start sharing verbally. To counter this, children were given time to “tour” around their estate and draw out things about the other apartments that attracted their attention. Their Apartments of Life were exhibited to the children’s significant adults in Session 4. It was also observed that these children took effort during the “tour” their Apartment of Life to the adults. The activity served to connect the children and significant adults who were present.

Significant Learning Points for Facilitators The Challenge of “Thin” Descriptions Working on this paper, I have come to understand that the main difficulty I experienced was in dealing with “thin” descriptions of alternative/ subordinate stories, re-authoring conversations, re-membering conversations and even in externalizing conversations. Facilitators would have to be intentional and persistent in following through with their inquiries. There is also a need to integrate narrative practices within the local context where talking may not be the primary mode of communication for young Singaporean children. Another limitation is regarding the medium of language used for the programme, where sessions are done in English. Since the group consisted of participants from multi-cultural backgrounds, the prospect of working with multiple translators might affect the group work processes. The conscious use of pictures, visuals and appropriate examples when questions are asked for discussion may be more useful. I am also reminded to keep succinct and clear. The workshop notes by Angel Yuen (2010) has some examples that I would look forward to borrowing and applying for future group work sessions with children. Connecting with children through common themes in experiences and common


themes of preferred identities might lead to richer descriptions of their experiences. Helping children to evaluate and justify their experiences and connecting them through such responses would allow for the creation of collective documents. Conclusion In view of the positive experience and the good feedback received from these support-group style sessions, the team will continue incorporating Narrative ideas and concepts in future runs, if expertise permits.We would also continue involving significant family members in our future sessions with child-participants. The team intends to explore other topics for the next run of Issues Group and will continue keep the number of participants small, in view of the age group that we tailor our sessions for. Other suggestions to explore would include inviting the present participants for the next round of sessions to share their experiences in managing stress.

References White, M. (1995). Chapter 8: Therapeutic Documents Revisited. In M. White, Re-Authoring Lives: Interviews and Essays (pp. 199 – 213). Adelaide, Australia: Dulwich Centre Publications. Denborough, D. (2008). Collective Narrative Practice: Responding to Individuals, Groups and Communities who have Experienced Trauma. Adelaide, Australia: Dulwich Centre Publications. Freedman, J., Epston, D. & Lobovits, D. (1997). Playful Approaches to Serious Problems: Narrative Therapy with Children and their Families. New York. Workshop Notes by Lisa & Seknah (2010) and Angel, Y. (2010)


Chapter 8 Narrative ideas in Group Work with Women Experiencing Domestic Violence

by Lanny Santoso

Introduction This paper discusses the use of Narrative ideas in working with complexities surrounding intimate partner violence / domestic violence. It also describes the use of ‘The Tree of Life’ methodology (Denborough, 2008) within a collective narrative approach with women who have experienced experiencing domestic violence in Singapore.

Context / Framework This work was based in a Family Service Centre (FSC) setting in Singapore. The Family Service Centre is a community-based Voluntary Welfare Organization that provides a range of core services such as casework management, crisis intervention and counselling services. This paper describes a therapeutic group work intervention with women and children who have experienced domestic violence, where the author was involved in its conceptualization and running. The group work was influenced by ideas of post-structural feminism (Hung, 2011) Post-Structuralist understandings describe identity as a social and public achievement – something that is negotiated within social institutions and within communities of people – and shaped by historical and cultural forces ( White, 2000, p.62 ). Post-structural feminists trace the histories of how women’s ways of being have been created within the specific contexts of culture, class, race, sexuality and other power relationships (Thomas, 2002). The feminist approach to intimate partner violence believes that power differentials between genders ar rooted in the broader context of social, legal, and religious structures and discourses. This include patriarchal social-cultural mechanisms and the belief in men’s superiority over women (Allen, 2012 ). Violence is then used to maintain that superiority. Drawing on Foucault, White and Epston (1990) state that “we are subject to power through the normalizing ‘truths’ that shape our lives and relationships’ (p.19) (as cited in Brown, 2007). Women who experience abusive relationships are being


subjected to the power of certain dominant discourses. Examples of these dominant discourses may include placing importance on the preservation of marriage, or the belief that women are responsible for the well-being of the family relationship (Laing, 2001). Hung (2011) stated that ‘discourse refers to an interrelated ‘system of statements which cohere around common meaning and values… are a product of social factors, of powers and practices rather than an individual’s set of ideas’ (Hollway, 1983, p.231, quote in Gavey, 1989, p.464 cited in Hung, S. L. 2011). She goes on to say, ‘It is through discourse that material power is exercised.’ and ‘Not only these dominant discourses be contested, but social practices and structures have to be addressed in order to enhance personal agency, to change subjectivity, and to struggle for changes in social discourse, practices, and social arrangement ‘(Weedon, 1997 cited in Hung, S. L. 2011), especially when stories are taken up at face value : the self, identity, and experience (Brown, 2007). Women and children who experience trauma and abuse due to domestic violence have their territories of life and identity significantly affected. Domestic Violence not only inflicts physical injury on women, it leaves enduring emotional and psychological scars. It erodes women’s sense of identity as well as that of their children. Allen (2012) discusses how it can take women affected by domestic violence many years to recover if they are not provided with appropriate support. The group work intervention discussed in this paper seeks to provide support and assistance to these women and children who are experiencing the effects of violence.

The Practice The following narrative ideas were utilized in the group work interventions. Adaptations were made to suit Singapore’s local context, such as “Tree of Life” methodology (Ncazelo Ncube, 2006). 1) ‘Tree of Life’ methodology is a framework that seeks to amplify and document one’s preferred life story to strengthen the sense of self. When working with women experiencing domestic violence, it may be common that practitioners identify and highlight life stories that describe hardship, oppression and negative identities. These stories often involve the internalization of dominant social stories and negative identity conclusion stories. The emphasis of a woman’s role in keeping the family together (Shankar, Das, Atwal 2013), places women responsible for the well-being of the family. In violent relationships, women may internalize ideas of themselves as not being a ‘good’ wife or mother, and may hold themselves responsible for the violence that happens in


their families. By highlighting the relationship between knowledge and power, the group work facilitates the unpacking of stories that are saturated with negative identity conclusions to bring forth alternative preferred stories.

Through the group process, facilitators and participants challenge the normalized cultural truths that often structure people’s narratives, and reauthor oppressive stories that highlight how women are responding to violence. This in turn deconstructs the power and power relations embedded within the women (Brown, 2003; Fook, 2002; White, 2001; White & Epston, 1990, cited in Brown, 2007 p.6).

In facilitating the group work, the facilitators had to be mindful that the participants came from various cultural groups, and may also belong to minority groups within Singapore. There is a need to bear in mind the influence of cultural factors, and broader context variables such as historical and sociopolitical faced by members of Singapore’s minority groups. It is important to relay the message that problems identified did not originate from the women themselves. The facilitator adopts this stance in order to deconstruct the dominant discourse and re-author the women’s preferred stories of their lives.

2) Collective documentation on effects and responses to abuse and violence: Collective documentation is used to summarize the stories identified, which could in turn be shared with other women in group or individual settings. When a collective document is made of the knowledges and skills of the participants in the group, I observed the expression of more stories of resistance against hardships endured. 3) Reading & exchange of letters between mothers and their children: This activity allowed children to hear responses and initiatives against domestic violence, as opposed to just hearing the effects of violence in their lives. 4) Outsider Witness practices Invitations are extended to the individual caseworker of the mother/children to be witnesses and to respond to readings made of the documents that have been collectively made.


Creating Memories Anew – Because love shouldn’t hurt This semi-structured program consisted of a 3-day and 2-night retreat complemented by a follow up session a week after the retreat. Mothers and children had their own separate group work sessions, where the mothers’ portion was called Crafting Alternative Stories and Experience (CASE). Concurrent sessions for both the mothers and children were also held, such as bonding times where mothers and children engaged in activities together. Participants: A total of 8 women attended the program. These women were undergoing the mandatory counseling program of the organization, but had volunteered to participate in the group work sessions. The groups were diverse in that they belonged to 3 different cultural groups, and varied also in their educational and employment statuses, as well as their religious affiliations. 5 of them were in their mid-30s, and 3 were in their mid-40s. Half had already separated and divorced, whilst another half women were still married and living together with their partners. Most of these women had experienced long histories of family violence. All are survivors of violence. Programme description The retreat began with introductions followed by the setting of ground rules which included respect for confidentiality of issues being shared. As a narrative approach was utilized, facilitators were mindful of how group processes could position participants as the chief agents in the re-authoring of their lives. As Parton and Marshall (1998:248) pointed out: “solutions are found in the making, the telling and the talking”. Laird (1995:160) discussed how “therapy should be in part a matter of deconstruction, of consciousness-raising, of learning how one’s own stories have been constrained or demeaned or de-privileged in varying contexts of knowledge and power.” Facilitators hence strive towards a non-expert and decentered position, in order to place participants as central players of the many stories that were shared during sessions. Our past runs of group work sessions using the tree of life methodology, we found that we had experienced difficulty in conveying instructions to participants to draw their individual “Tree of Life”. We had speculated whether the abstract ideas (related to linking various parts of the trees as metaphors to their lives, for example, the trunk to represent skills, abilities and knowledges) may not connect to their cultural experiences. This led us to explore other ways of stories development with the mothers. We found it useful to come up with additional preparatory activities,


such as the reading of stories or craftwork, before participants drew their individual tree of life. The following steps detail how the tree of life methodology was conducted with the group. We started by setting the scene that would facilitate discussions surrounding the tree of life.

Step 1: Setting up the scene for the tree of life Pictures of acorns, saplings, oak trees and forests were pasted on the wall to allow time and space for participants to be familiarized with the metaphor of the tree. Step 2: Storytelling to set the tone for the metaphor of the tree This step sought to set the tone of the metaphor of a tree, through the reading aloud of Shel Silverstein’s book: “The Giving Tree”. The story details the relationship between a boy and a tree, and how the boy would start wanting to take something from the tree (for example, its apples, and its tree trunk). As the boy grew older and asked for more, the tree would continue to give and give until it was left as a tree stump. The story ends with the boy, now an old man, only wanting ‘a quiet place to sit and rest’, which the stump provides. The story ends with the simple sentence: ‘And the tree was happy’. This story allowed the group to reflect on how the story resonated with their own life experiences and their unconditional love for their children. The attitude of the boy towards the tree had connected with their experiences of being taken for granted by their partners in the abusive relationships. The storytelling activity


allowed members to relate with one another, through the sharing of thoughts and images that caught their attention from the story and finding commonalities in their life experiences. Step 3: Craftwork to symbolize current state and preferred future of lives

Sally (Figure 1)

Mary (Figure 2)

Ann (Figure 3)

Carol (Figure 4)

Participants were then invited to create two pieces of craftwork each using pipe cleaners, to symbolise their current situations and their preferred futures respectively. Craftwork was utilized to engage members through the added dimension of touch, rather than just relying on visual or auditory engagements, to identify their preferred life stories Michael White’s metaphor of scaffolding (Carey, Walther & Russell, 2009) inspired the use of therapeutic questions as stepping stones for group members to identify and learn previously unknown aspects about themselves within the unexplored territories of their preferred stories. Scaffolding questions, which were derived from the work


of Lev Vygotsky (1986, as cited in Carey, Walther & Russell, 2009) provide support for members to step out from the “known and familiar” into the realm of the “not yet known, but possible to know”. Facilitators asked the following scaffolding questions to the group members in response to their craftwork: 1) Despite the current difficulty that you are experiencing, what‘s your hope for joining this group work? Some participants responded that they wanted their children to speak up so that they are able to share their difficult experiences. 2) You mentioned that “Speaking up” up is important for the children. Why is Speaking important for you? How did it become important for you? Some respondents shared that although they had been very much affected by the abuse and violence that happened at home, their children had not been able to express their emotions and feelings. Participants had also responded that they just wanted their children to voice out their emotions as opposed to keeping it to themselves 3) What does your concern for your children tell you about your role as a mother to them? Participants responded that this concern told them how much their children was important to them, and how much they wanted to protect them and make sure they are not hurt by their partners (or ex-partners).

4)

What do the other mothers think about your role as a mother? This process amplified and made known the connection between participants of similar experiences and also thickened the preferred storyline of these mothers trying to play important roles to protect and care for their children amidst the dominant discourse of a violent relationship.

5)

What kind of name would fit the experience, value, skill or ability that you’ve just shared (where the children were important to you and mean so much to you)? Respondents are then able to use experience near names of “caring mother” to describe their preferred storyline.

This line of inquiry helped to recruit group members’ lived experiences, their meaning making, and progressively opens possibilities to provide entry points into alternative story lines.


As the group members shared their created items, each member told their stories and co-created meaning as they interacted with each other. They explored tactics where their spouse or ex-spouse had used violence to influence their sense of identity. Sally (Figure 1) shared about how the ‘round ring’ she created was represented the image of the story of how she was trapped in the cycle of violence, similar to the story of the ‘Giving Tree’. She shared about her experience of resisting violence for more than ten years, until she decided to make a stand against it. The second item symbolized Sally’s experience of seeking help to break this cycle of violence: a hair band with a heart on top. Sally shared about how she felt responsible for the well being of her family, and how her experiences had equipped her with resistance skills against violence. Other stories shared by Mary (Figure 2), Ann (Figure 3) and Carol (Figure 4) discussed beliefs surrounding the importance of preserving their marriages to keep the family intact, and the need to protect their children and themselves from being judged and categorized as “broken” or “single parent” families. As facilitators listen to the traumatic experiences shared by group members, they also pay attention to stories of what gives value to the women’s lives despite all that they have been through. Facilitators keep a lookout to how these women had responded to these traumatic experiences, where no one is a passive recipient of trauma (White, 2004). Facilitators also rescued words that described the group members’ skills in resisting oppression and violence, making sure to note the themes that came out in the women’s stand against hardship. These women had employed different ways to resistances to resist abuse and violence in their lives. Within the group work process, facilitators sought to thicken these alternative storylines: Facilitator: When you mentioned you resisted your husband’s abusive behavior, what did you do? Sally: I gave in to his demand, not to retaliate. Facilitator: Say more about how you did not retaliate? Sally: To make sure that he does not bash me up like last time, and also to protect my daughter. Facilitator: What does it say about you when you did not retaliate so that you can protect your daughter? Sally: That I am trying to make sure that I protect my life and also my daughter’s life. Facilitator: What does it take for you to be able to resist and to protect yourself and your daughter’s life? Sally: I need courage and determination to hang on, not to give up, and to keep


myself alive. Because my children are still young, they still need me to take care of them. This process of inquiry allowed Sally to uncover her skills of courage and determination. Facilitators took note of Sally’s newly discovered skills and endeavored towards tracing the history of these skills. Facilitators then explored how these skills and knowledge came to be, placing them in storylines with her other values, hopes and commitments. The group work process further thickened participants preferred stories through the tree of life activity. This activity allowed group members to be witnesses to each other’s stories of hardship, where outsiders witness practices (White, 2007) were used. Group members took turns to tell their stories and responses were obtained from the others, contributing to the reinvigoration of members’ sense of self and identity. This sense of self would have previously been diminished in the face of traumatic and violent experiences (White, 2004). Step 4: The Tree Of Life Activity In the second day of the programme, group members were invited to draw their own tree of life (Denborough, 2008; Ncube, 2007). The preferred stories that were generated from the earlier craft work activity were linked to the ground and the branches of each tree of life. Facilitators then processed with the group their experience of doing this activity, focusing on descriptions of knowledge and skills. Further inquiry of participants’ hopes, dreams and wishes for the directions of their life which were represented by the branches of the tree, could then be further explored by the participants’ caseworkers beyond the group work process. Within a more individualized setting, caseworkers could then work closely with the women to trace the history of these hopes and wishes, and help further construct a preferred future life direction.


Group members were invited to draw their tree of life using the following guidelines: The Roots: The roots of the tree are for participants to reflect and write about their family histories, for example their origins, family name, ancestry, extended family, name of significant people who have taught them the most in life, their favorite song or dance and movie character. The Ground: Represents where the group members lives are at the present moment; and the daily activities they are engaged with. The Trunk: Represent values, skills and abilities. This may also include skills in physical acts, skills of caring, loving, honesty etc. Group members were asked: Who did they learn the skills from? Where did they come from? How long have they started using these skills? The Branches: Represent participants’ hopes, dreams and wishes for the directions of their life. Group members were asked: How long have you had these hopes? Where did they come from? How have you held on to these hopes and dreams? Did anyone introduce you to these hopes and dream, or help you hold on to them? The Leaves of the Tree: Represent significant people in their lives. These can be people who are alive or may be people that have passed on. The Fruits: Represent gifts that the person has been given by others, these gifts are not necessarily material gifts, but could be acts of love, courage, kindness or any other gifts. Flowers/ Seeds: The flowers or seeds of the tree represent gifts that the person wishes to pass onto others, they can also represent the contribution the person is making to others. Again, these gifts are not necessarily material gifts. The following are excerpts of what the women said of their experience with the tree of life activity: “This is the most important part of the programme, and the hardest part of the session, as it had me to think through many events and significant person who has been with me at part of the journey of my lives. I remember how my parents had been the support for me during my growing up years, my current family situation had erased those good memories as I was so preoccupied by my parents ideas to have me reconcile with my spouse. There are many memories of my younger days, how I struggle with issues, and how I managed to overcome life challenges. I am quite a capable person.” (Carol, who had previously described herself as a weak person) “This exercise had me to be grateful for what I have now, even though I still have many live challenges to face, I have many significant people are not family


members, they have come along side with me. The Samsui women who made bricks day and nights for a living are my role models to persevere and never give up. The drawing of the tree has helped me put my life on a map that include people who I am very grateful of their kindness, and never give up on me.” (Mary, who had been described by group members to be a resilient mother) “The exercise of the drawing of the tree was difficult for me. I had blank memory when after I drew and color the tree. I experienced mental block for a while. As I slowly being helped by the facilitators, I managed to retrieve my memory back, and this is a struggle for me at the beginning. Subsequently, the memory of my late mother came back. She had been a pillar to me, and she had been my role model, even though I lost her during my teen years.” (Sally, who had suffered from eight years of depression, and had experienced a long history of physical abuse from her ex-spouse) Step 5: The Creation of a Collective Document Collective documentation presented a way of creating a summary of experiences that could be shared with other women outside the group work process. In the creation of the collective document, more enduring stories of resistance against hardship were identified.

A Collective Document of Knowledge and Skills to Manage Hardship Crafting Alternative Stories & Experiences (CASE) Women’s Group 2014 Through the story of ‘The Giving Tree’, we have learnt about relationships. We also learnt about giving and taking, and how that reflects unconditional love. And how it is abusive to take things for granted. We came together in a group of eight and started a conversation about the ‘Tree of Life’, a metaphor used to tell stories about one’s life. We saw how a small seed grew to become a huge, strong oak tree. These were the dreams we had for our families. Reality is so different. We face hardships that break our hearts and homes. We are caught in a cycle that is hard to break. One of the hardest things starts with the letters D and V – domestic violence. Domestic violence causes us deep pain, physically, mentally, and emotionally. We feel sad and guilty to see our children have to go through the same hardship at such a young age. Some of us survived the hard times by getting support externally, when domestic violence kept us feeling isolated and stopped us from loving others. Loving our


children helped us take back our lives from isolation and fear. We realized that talking to others helps when difficult hardships happen. It takes courage to step out and seek help from services, and to press on to keep moving in the direction we wanted our lives to go. Some of us kept on doing things bit by bit, and asked God for help. Friends and counsellors/social workers saw the strength in us and believed we would get through this. This helped us when hard times left us feeling overwhelmed. In times of great anxiety, we learnt to practice deep breathing to soothe ourselves and to help ourselves calm down. As we gathered together with our ‘Trees of Life’, we learnt and uncovered some of the knowledge and skills that grew from the roots that keep our tree standing tall against violence. Some of these roots are extended family members, church friends, and parents. They planted the seeds of endurance, patience, care, kindness, honesty, trustworthiness, hard work, and independence, and they grew resilient to weather the storms of life. Some of us demonstrated strength drawn from being honest and true to themselves, and were determined to move away from violence and negative situations. This will help maintain integrity, and a vision of the future that will keep us inspired in life with our children. Step 6: Letter exchange and reading between mother and children. A letter exchange exercise was also facilitated between group members and their children who attended the programme. Although, the children wrote about their traumatic experiences of having witnessed their mothers being abused by their fathers, there were also expressions of appreciation for the mothers’ love and care for them. Mothers were also able to acknowledge the hardship that their children had gone through, and expressed their desire to assure their children’s safety. This process had also enabled the children’s feelings and strengths to be validated by their mothers.

The Outsiders Witness practices & Definitional Ceremony Within narrative practice, an outsider witnesses are audience members who are invited to listen to and acknowledge the preferred stories and identity claims of the participants (White, 1995). The use of outsider witnesses within narrative therapy is influenced by the reflecting team of the Mental Research institute, and also by the work of Barbara Myerhoff (1982, 1986) who introduced the term ‘definitional


ceremony’ to describe the process by which communities of people actively construct their identities. Outsider Witness practices challenge isolating and individualizing effects of the problem (Fox, 2004). Within the programme, the structure of the outsider witness process are as follow: 1) The telling (i): Child was invited to read his/her letter that was written for his/ her mother 2) The telling (ii): Mother to read her letter written for her child or children. 3) Re-telling of the telling (i): Facilitator interviewed participant’s caseworker 4) Retelling of the telling (ii): Caseworker interviewed facilitator 5) Re-telling of the re-telling: Facilitator interviewed participant to respond what she heard from witnessing the conversation between facilitator and caseworker. The following were the four questions used in the process of outsider witness. 1) What expressions touched or moved her after you heard the letter reading between mother and child or children? 2) What pictures or images do these expressions bring to mind? 3) What is it about your own life or experience that explains why these expressions caught your attention? 4) How is your life different after being touched or moved by the story you heard?

The following response was expressed by the author (who was also facilitator) during a process of the Retelling of telling – (ii) 1) What struck me and caught my attention, was when they (mother and son) both shared about the emotional struggle and against all odds, and how mother is able pay attention to her son’s need in detail. She ensured minimal disruption for her son daily routine life by moving out of their residence. I see a mother who is very committed to her role. For her son, I was struck by his maturity in adapting when he had to temporarily move out of his house, and stay with extended family members. 2) I am also hearing the importance of keeping the family safe from being hurt. This reminds me of how they hold life precious for themselves and each other. I see the responsibilities and commitment being demonstrated by mother and son. In this short exchange of letter reading I am also hearing how precious the mother /son relationship is. 3) What has been shared has also reminded me of my personal experience about


4)

the importance of my own relationship with my son. The openness in sharing their experiences in coping through hard times is such valuable resource, this made me think of other mothers/ children who travel a similar path.

The re-telling of the re-telling – caseworker gets the response from mother after hearing the conversation between caseworker and facilitator

The following is an excerpt from the response made to the re-telling of the telling: “I was not aware that I am actually capable of managing so many things during such a big crisis, and this has reminded my old self, able to multi-task, and hold strong on the value of commitment and responsibility. This is important for me and also for my son.” Definitional ceremonies can provide for rich story development (White, 2007). This development was demonstrated when I facilitated the session with Sally and daughter, and her caseworker. Sally had shared that she had never talked about her knowledge and skills learnt from her late mother to her daughter. Sally had shared that these knowledge and skills had sustained her and had given her the courage to stand against the hardships she experience. Through this process, Sally is able to continue her late mother’s legacy in her own life, and that of her daughter’s. In a brief interview three months after the program, Sally had also shared about how she and her daughter are able to now have more small conversations with each other, signaling an improvement in their relationship. Her daughter had also shared that her mother had become more confident, equipped with the skills she had rediscovered during the programme. Sally shared how the craftwork and the tree of life sessions had been helpful for her as she learnt to know more about herself.

Conclusion This chapter illustrated the use of narrative ideas in the context of group work with women who have experienced domestic violence in Singapore. The tree of life methodology is a useful framework to identify alternative stories and preferred futures for group members who have been exposed to the trauma of interpersonal violence. Outsider witness practices facilitated the amplification of the newly rediscovered skills during the group work process, and Sally’s example reflects the potential of such practices to make a lasting impact on the people that we work with. As facilitators of group work, there is a need to employ skills of double


listening, where one listens not only to the struggles and experiences of trauma, but also to stories of how people respond (and even overcome) challenging and difficult situations in their lives.

References Allen, M. (2012) Narrative Therapy for Women Experiencing Domestic Violence. Supporting Women’s Transitions from Abuse to Safety. UK: Jessica Kingsley Publisher. Brown, C., Augusta-Scott, T. (2007) Narrative Therapy – Making Meaning, Making Lives California: Sage Publications, Inc. Carey, M., Walther, S., Russell, S. (2009). The Absent but Implicit: A Map to Support Therapeutic Enquiry. Family Process, 48(3), FPI, Inc. Denborough, D.(2008) Collective Narrative Practice – Responding to individuals, Groups, and communities who have experienced trauma. Australia: Dulwich Centre Publications. Gavey, N. (1989). Feminist post-structuralism and discourse analysis: Contribution to Feminist psychology. Psychology of Women Quarterly, 13, 459-475. Hung, S. L. (2011). Collective narrative practice with rape victims in the Chinese society of Hong Kong. The International Journal of Narrative Therapy and Community Work, (1), 14-31. Laing, L. (2001). Working with women: Exploring Individual and Group Work Approaches. Australian Domestic & Family Violence Clearinghouse, Issue 4. Loveday, H. (2009) From oppression, resistance grows. The Int’l Journal of Narrative Therapy and Community Work 2009 No. 1 www.dulwichcentre.com.au Ncube-Mlilo, N. Denborough, D.(2006). The Tree of Life. Australia: International journal of Narrative Therapy and Community Work. Shankar, J. (2013) Challenging Cultural Discourses and Beliefs that Perpetuate Domestic Violence in South Asian Communities : A Discourse Analysis. Bridgewater: Massachusetts. Journal of International Women’s Studies 14 (1), 248-262. Retrieved from http://vc.bridgew. edu/jiws/vol14/iss1/15 Silverstein, S. (1964). The Giving Tree . Retrieved from: www.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Giving_ Tree Thomas, L. (Co-Ed) (2004) Chapter 5 :Post-structuralism and therapy – what’s it all about? Russell, S. & Carey, M. Narrative Therapy : Responding to your Questions ( p.91-99). Adelaide, Australia : Dulwich Centre Publications. White, M. (2000). Reflecting –team work as definitional ceremony revisited. In M. White (Ed.) Reflections on narrative practice; Essays and interviews. Adelaide: Dulwich Centre. White, M. & Morgan, A. (2006) Narrative Therapy with Children and their families. Adelaide: Dulwich Centre Publications. White, M. (2004). Working with people who are suffering the consequences of multiple trauma : A Narrative perspective. The International Journal of Narrative Therapy and Community Work (Hong Kong), No. 1. Adelaide: Dulwich Centre Publications Pte Ltd. White, M. (2007). Maps of narrative practice. USA: W.W. Norton & Company


Chapter 9 The Mothers M-Powered Programme Community Based Group Work with Mothers living in the Interim Rental Housing Estates

by Mohamed Fareez, Anny Rodjito & Isaac Teo

Introduction The Mothers M-powered programme is a 6-session support group developed and conducted for mothers living in the Interim Rental Housing (IRH) estates in the Ang Mo Kio community. AMKFSC Community Services Ltd had been actively conducting outreach and triage services for residents living in a transition shelter. Residents living in these shelters had either previously been homeless (some were even living in tents by the beaches), or they were forced to leave their previous flats due to high debts that had been incurred. Typically in the transition shelters, 2 families were expected to live in one unit, where they would be allocated one room each, and they had to share bathing and kitchen facilities. We had identified a group of mothers who felt that they needed an avenue to air their concerns and find ways to address struggles faced. These mothers were predominantly from the minority Malay community in Singapore. A total of 4 mothers eventually completed the whole programme. Our initial aims were to conduct a parent psycho-education group using ideas from a programme influenced by cognitive behavioural therapy. However, conversations we had with these women revealed that parenting issues were not specifically identified as the main issue to work with. There may have been a lack of fit if we had imparted knowledges from a separate culture (middle class and white Australian, which the initial programme was based on), without first understanding the needs and concerns of these women. At the same time, we realized that these mothers had been able to manage the needs of their many children, whilst surviving through multiple transitions. We were interested in making known the various skills, values and abilities that had been utilized in facing these hardships.


The Mothers M-Powered Programme

The Mothers M-Powered group was created where the M stood for: • The Meeting of mothers who experienced similar circumstances. • The Merging or Mixing of common ideas and concerns. • And the Mastery of new skills and strengths uncovered.

A group work setting would also serve to amplify and celebrate these strengths through the practice of definitional ceremonies (Myerhoff, 1986). At the same time, the documentation of such strengths would further amplify therapeutic effects of the group, and assist in increasing the personal agency of the community. We had also hoped that the process of co-research (Epston, 1999) with these mothers could also serve as a tool for advocacy that could potentially influence policy change. The practice principles of being curious, respectful and de-centered (White and Morgan, 2006) were imperative in enabling the uncovering of personal agency, yet allowing for flexibility to follow important conversations made by participants. Sessions were conducted using narrative ideas of Community Therapy (Baretto & Grandesso, 2010), where we would first identify issues and challenges of each participant and then decide the aspects to work on. A structure was proposed, although continuous discussions were held as to whether the experience was a fit for participants.

Outline of sessions

Session Session Session Session Session Session

1: Identifying challenges and prioritizing of issues to work on 2: Collective timeline of challenging life events and skills used to overcome challenges 3: Re-Membering practices 4: Mapping of stories through the Tree of Life 5: Collective documenting and Review of effects of programme 6: Definitional Ceremony (through a Community Day event)

Session 1: Identifying Challenges and Prioritising of issues Community therapy (Baretto and Grandesso, 2010) involves the interweaving of both academic and local knowledges. This process is important, especially in the context of Singapore, where social workers are identified to be professionals coming in with “expert knowledge” to make changes in the lives of our clients. The process of community therapy seeks to make known local knowledges of the people we work


with to ensure that interventions are done in a collaborative manner that fits with needs identified. It involves creating a respectful structure where healing and change does not come from a top down position, but through the promotion of autonomy and collaboration.

The session went through the following steps: 1. Welcome session with warm up activities 2. Listing of challenges currently facing participants of the group (and categorized into themes). 3. Participants vote on which issue that the group will attempt to address. 4. Facilitator would then ask participants what skills and abilities were used to address these challenges. This local knowledge is explored in detail and also documented. 5. Group members were briefed on how the next few sessions would develop, and debriefs will be conducted at the end of every session to make links to the theme that has been identified.

Although it is important to identify the challenges and difficulties faced by participants, we found it useful to identify the alternative story of skills that were used to overcome these challenges. We found that families who have found transition housing had usually experienced even more challenging circumstances in the past. This included having to live in the beach, moving repeatedly around from household to household, etc.

Figure 1: Identifying challenges The identifying of issues presented a starting point for externalizing conversations where a second story of responses to crisis could be developed and amplified.


Figure 2: identifying the skills that helped us through these challenges

Session 2: Collective timeline of life events and skills used to overcome challenges The collective timeline (Denborough, 2008) is a methodology that assists in creating a sense of unity whilst at the same time appreciating diversity. This methodology is useful especially in the context of working with a group that may have diverse experiences, like the mothers living in transition housing. The diversity of the group was evident in the age of the mothers, their family life cycles, and their life experiences. Each participant was united in their experience with Transition housing, and with life transitions in general.

We took the following steps when generating the collective timeline. 1. We provided sheets of paper to participants and invited them to identify 5 key events in their lives. These events can be a mix of challenging and positive events. We decided to identify more than one event due to the small size of the group. 2. A large timeline was also drawn on paper that was pasted along the wall. 3. Each participant shared their own timelines and dates were also drawn on the collective timeline. 4. As each participant shared, a second storyline was developed where we discussed about any values, skills or abilities that were identified, its history


and how they were used in addressing challenging events. The dates of these skills and values were also annotated in the timeline. 5. At the end of the session we facilitated a re-telling of the events through the following outsider witness inquiries (White, 2007) a. What expressions or images came out strongly for you as you heard the different stories shared by the others? b. What did these discussions tell you about what other participants valued? Do any images or feelings come to you? c. Which parts of your own life connected to the stories that were being told? d. How has hearing all these stories made a difference in how you might want to continue your own life?

Session 3: Re-membering practices According to Michael White, “remembering conversations are not about passive collection but about purposive engagements with the history of one’s relationships with significant figures and with the identities of one’s present life and projected future” (2007:129). In this process the group work facilitator goes into rich descriptions of how significant persons have contributed to participants lives. Following this, the alternative story is also identified, where facilitators ask about what these significant persons might have appreciated about them. Within the group work processes we amplify the skills and strengths identified in the session which could be used to manage the identified problem from the first session. Participants are encouraged to identify significant persons in their lives, and spend time to write down why these persons are important in shaping their current life perspectives. These persons or figures do not have to be directly known by participants, and can be fictional characters from TV shows, books, or movies. They may be persons living or dead.

Appreciating and honoring the contributions of the significant person a. What do you love or appreciate about this person? b. How did this person contribute to your life? c. What are some gifts that have been given to you by this person? Why are these gifts important? d. What are some memories you have that remind you of what you appreciate about this person? e. What would this person say about the person you are? f. What advice would this person have for you?


Exploring participants’ contributions to the life of the significant person or figure. This line of inquiry is geared towards identifying an alternative storyline of how participants may have inversely contributed to the lives of the significant figure. The facilitator is encouraged to illicit details of how this contribution had shaped the significant person’s perception of who he or she was. Facilitators then go into detail when identifying alternative stories in the process of re-membering in order to achieve the state of “oneness” that could provide “the sense of continuity and completeness” (Myerhoff, 1992: 239) We ask questions to go deep into sensory experiences and further engage our clients in activities and rituals. The sieving of detail (Wingard, 2001) assists the practitioner with the process of journeying into the vividness of a forgotten memory.

Some questions include: a. What did this person appreciate about you? b. What did this person see in you that led him or her decide to spend time with you to support you? c. If we could ask this person to sit down here in this room, what would he or she say about you and what skills, abilities you have? d. What might this person say about how you have also contributed to his or her life? e. How do you think this contribution made a difference to how this person saw his or her life? Figure 3: Remembering practices


Figure 4: Re-Membering practices

The mapping of narrativised strengths (Ingamelles and Epston, 2002) is a useful process in identifying and naming strengths, exploring their history and legacy, and formulating the future of the talent. In the last session, we had used the tree of life methodology (Denborough, 2008) to consolidate the skills and identify the origins and legacy of these values and skills. We had also documented their skills and stories in a booklet that would be distributed during a community day event.

Session 4: Mapping of stories through the Tree of Life The Tree of Life is a methodology developed by David Denborough and Ncazelo Ncube (2008), which allows for a safe way of mapping identities along alternative storylines. We have found the methodology useful as a round up to the rich discussions of the past 3 sessions of the group. The methodology involves the drawing of a tree, where parts of the tree represent the following information (which can be written or drawn): 1. Ground: what the person is involved in and doing in her daily life 2. Trunk: Skills, knowledges, and abilities 3. Branches: Hopes dreams and wishes 4. Leaves: People who are important to us 5. Fruits: Gifts that have been given to us (may include values and skills from others) 6. Flowers: Gifts that we want to pass down to others.


The creation of the tree of life allows for the consolidation of the stories that have been told in the past sessions, and enable further discussion to thicken the skills and abilities that have been developed that could address their transition stressors.

Session 5: Collective documenting and review of effects of programme Collective documentation (Denborough, 2008) is a methodology developed to address the effects of collective trauma. Collective documentation is a process of asking questions that assist in the identification of a group’s skills, knowledges and values that have been utilized to help them through difficult times. Further questions into the history of these skills, and linking them to culture, traditions and rituals, further thicken the stories of these skills. These stories would be compiled in a collective document that serves as a voice for people who complete the document, but also geared towards helping participants make a contribution to others who face similar difficulties and issues. According to Denborough (2008:36), the crafting of these documents “collectively convey a range of hard-won skills and knowledges, in parallel with a rich acknowledgement of the circumstances in which these have been hard won.” Within the process of the Mothers M-Powered programme, a booklet documenting the mothers’ skills in overcoming their difficulties.

Session 6: Definitional Ceremony (through a Community Day event) The second phase of the project involved the holding of a Community Day, where a platform was created to celebrate the strengths of the community instead of attempting to educate residents of community concerns from a top-down perspective. This platform would assist in the development of a definitional ceremony (Myerhoff, 1986) that allow for further retellings and creations of rich descriptions of the lives, values, and skills of the residents living in the area. The “Community Day” platform also saw residents staying in the Interim Rental Housing estates coming together to co-create remembrance of a past community they used to live in. These families used to stay at different parts of Singapore and brought with them a mixture of vast collections of memories from their past. The community day event itself was innovative, as it typified a shift from the usual carnival or block party setting where residents would attend the event as a passive beneficiary. Instead, residents took ownership in this community day to setup stalls and performances to re-live their memories. Adults managed familiar stalls for their fellow residents offering clothing, home-cooked foods/snacks and desserts.


The children had their own stage where they choreographed their own dances and songs for their own fellow residents. The Mothers M-powered group (along with another protective behaviours boys group) was then able to use this platform for a retelling of their alternative stories to other members of the estate who experienced similar circumstances. The mothers would distribute the documents that they had compiled to other mothers living in the same community. This process would be supportive of the achievements made by the Mothers M-Powered group (along with another boys’ group that was conducted concurrently). The introduction of maps of journeys made by others can potentially open space for conversations and also inform others of the struggles that they may face in transition housing, as well as skills and strategies to aid in their transition (White, 1997). We proceeded to obtain outsider witness accounts through public comments after receiving the booklets. The mothers themselves would be distributing the booklets so that they can clarify any questions that are put to them by the other mothers in the community. Through this process of multiple retellings (White, 2007), alternative themes of preferred storylines and identities are thickened whilst at the same time new ideas can permeate across the community. It is through this platform of inclusiveness and transparency (Bracho, 2013) that we hope that we would be able to facilitate community change together with residents.

Considerations to note when running the groups There were several considerations that we had to take note of when engaging the mothers in group work. Firstly, as facilitators from a mainly a middle class income group, there is a need to address power imbalances during the course of the group work sessions. It was important that we did not fall into the trap of victim blaming, where we only expect that change needed to come from the mothers and their families alone. By locating their struggles in notions of power and privilege, we would be better able to understand how these families came to be in their current difficult situations. In the context of the work that we were doing with the mothers, it was important that we were able to make visible these various power relations and positions of privilege (Raheim, S. White, C. Denborough, D., Waldegrave, C. Tamasese, K., Tuhaka, F. Franklin, A., Fox, H & Care, M. 2001), and be conscious of how we may react to these biases (Tamasese, Waldegrave, Tuhaka & Campbell, 2003). In ensuring responsible action (Welch, 2012), there is a need to be mindful of ensuring social


justice, and work towards collaborating with the mothers in strategizing advocacy and change in the environment. In adapting to the needs of the group that we were working on, we found it useful to go through a line of inquiry on the process of the group work. This inquiry was influenced Freedman and Combs’ preference questions and the asking about effects (1996). The questions on privilege (Raheim et al, 2001) had also inspired us to ask questions to address power imbalances between facilitators and participants. We developed a pre and post session inquiry to make the work relevant and resonant for participants. We document these questions to be used in future runs of the group work programme.

Pre-session inquiry Preference questions • What are your hopes about how this group will be useful for you? • Are there certain things that you hope that we as a group could talk more about? • Are there things that you don’t think we should talk about? • How should we respond as a group is anyone of us is upset about something?

Questions on privilege • What concerns might you have in sharing your problems in front of us, especially since we might not have shared the same experiences that you had? To make known issues of gender, class, and culture. • As a man/person from a different class or culture, what are your suggestions about how we can be respectful of the stories that you tell us? • What were some difficult experiences you have had in sharing your concerns with someone from a different gender/class/culture? What steps can we take to avoid such difficulties?

Post session inquiry Asking about effects • Has this session been helpful for you? How has it been helpful? • Was there anything that you had hoped we had talked about but were not able to? • I am curious to find out how your participation in this group has effected you? Can you tell me more about these effects? Have the effects been good or bad?


Questions on privilege • How was your experience in talking about these many issues to someone from a different gender/class/culture? Did any of these experiences come across as what you had expected? Were any of these experiences surprising? • Were there times where you felt that we could not understand you due to our different gender/class/culture? What steps could we take to address this in our future sessions? Preference questions • What are some things you hope we could talk more about in the next session? • What are your thoughts about the plans we have for our next session?

We found this line of inquiry useful in creating space for flexibility in terms of adapting to the unique contexts of the people we were working with. These questions were able to address power imbalances and foster the principle of collaboration right from the beginning of the group. Although we aim to bring out preferred storylines detailing persona agency amidst crisis and trauma, it is also important to respect requests from our clients for advice. This is especially important in our local Singaporean context, where clients do approach social workers for help and expect pragmatic and direct advice to be given to address their problems. It may be unethical for us as practitioners if we do not share information on the latest evidence (for e.g. parenting techniques) to parents who attend our group expecting to learn and gain information on parenting. Fredman’s (2013) position of sharing theories as just a possible story to understand the problem is a respectful way to expand understandings of a problem or challenging situation. It brings forth an idea, and yet promotes collaboration by inviting participants to respond. Participants are welcome to connect with the idea or discard it if it does not fit. Mothers could then be invited to contribute their own stories. The process of obtaining a repertoire of stories defined by each family member, would also aid in gaining deeper insight into the “network of presuppositions” that give meaning to events are experienced in their respective world views (White, 2001).

Conclusion This paper has presented a possible outline for a group work programme to support the needs of mothers living in transition shelters. As a team we acknowledge the diversity of contexts and life situations surrounding the needs of women in Singapore. Hence, we suggest that any ideas to replicate this project have be adapted according


to the different needs of the groups we work with, in line with the narrative position of being de-centred (White & Morgan, 2006).

References Barreto, A. & Grandesso, M. (2010). Community therapy: A participatory response to psychic misery. International Journal of Narrative Therapy and Community Work, 4, 33-41. Denborough, D (2008). Collective narrative practice: Responding to individuals, groups and communities who have experienced trauma. Adelaide: Dulwich Centre Publications Epston,D. (1999). Co-research: The making of an alternate knowledge. Chapter 16 in Narrative Therapy and Community Work; A conference collection. Dulwich Centre Publications. P 143-146 Epston, D. & White, M. 1990: Narrative Means to Therapeutic Ends. New York: W.W.Norton Fredman, G. (2013). Coordinating stories in therapeutic conversations. Paper presented at the Friday Afternoons at Dulwich, Adelaide, South Australia. Freedman, J., & Combs, G. (1996). Narrative therapy: The social construction of preferred realities. New York: Norton. Ingamelles and Epston (2002). Placing strengths into storylines: Building Bridges between Strengths and Narrative Approaches. In The International Journal of Narrative Therapy and Community Work. 2012 No 3. Pg50 - 61 Myerhoff, B. (1986). “Life Not Death in Venice”: Its Second Life. In V. W. Turner, & E. M. Bruner (Eds.), The Anthropology of experience. Urbana: University of Illinois Press. Raheim, S. White, C. Denborough, D., Waldegrave, C. Tamasese, K., Tuhaka, F. Franklin, A., Fox, H & Care, M. (2001). An invitation to address privilege and dominance. Retrieved May 15, 2014 from http://www.dulwichcentre.com.au/privilege.html Welch, S. (2012). An Ethic of Risk. Retrieved May 15, 2014, from http://http://www.uua.org/ re/tapestry/adults/ethics/workshop9/workshopplan/handouts/192044.shtm White, M. (2001). The narrative metaphor in family therapy: an interview with Michael White in D. Denborough (Ed.), Family therapy: Exploring the past, present and possible futures (pp. 131-138). Adelaide: Dulwich Centre Publications. White, M., & Morgan, A. (2006). Narrative Therapy with Children and their Families. Dulwich Centre Publications

(Pictures included with permission from participants)


Chapter 10 The League of Parents and Small People against Pocket Kering – Acknowledging skills and knowledges for those who experience financial difficulties

by Elizabeth Quek

Introduction This paper describes a narrative collective practice model applied in a community that experiences financial difficulties and other complex issues. Conversations with the families set out to allow rich description of their experiences of ‘Pocket Kering’, or ‘no money’, the skills, values and knowledges employed and history behind them. The second part shows the ‘Small people’ group engaging with the personified ‘Pocket Kering’ monster and retelling of Superpowers - the skills, values and knowledges used to shrink the monster. The third part of the project shows ‘Operation M’, which the children are employed to plan and run a small economic project using their skills, values and knowledges. The last part, entails a definitional ceremony where the League’s stories are retold and preferred identities acknowledged to an audience of community members, and parents through the children’s skit of Pocket Kering Monster and Superpower, the reading of a collective document and outsider witness practice. Finally, the paper discusses my reflections and considerations of power and privilege.

Background Persons with low income in Singapore are often socially excluded, have poor access to affordable healthcare services, proper nutrition, education, employment and financial support. Another obstacle to improving their situation is dominant beliefs about low income families. The families that consult with us live in the Jalan Minyak and Jalan Bukit Merah area; most live in one of the 28 blocks of public rental housing flats. This section explains more about the context of the experiences of the families these and the work we do.


a. History of racial dominance and current social flows The colonial mode of governance in 1819 possibly started the process of racialised thinking in modern Singapore that sought to: Introduce the notion of ‘racial differences...to keep the Malays1, Chinese and Indians apart; create and perpetuate these differences according to an ordered hierarchy (Noor, 2009, p. 72) Many people associate the phrases “low income” and “non-progressive” to the Malay culture. Malays from high to middle classes, including prominent leaders often talk about the race needing to “catch up” and “progress”, implicitly saying something about internal deficits of the people. In addition, the nation attempts to maintain homogenous ways of living and expectations of success to every citizen. It is not dissimilar to what the Maori are experiencing. Talking about one of the effects of colonisation, Tapping (2003) states: The only criteria of success and worth are judged by white cultural standards, and Maoris have received powerful messages for decades that they do not measure up. (p.58) In a Singapore which employs rigid social engineering and embraces meritocratic ideas, there are colonising ideas and imposed societal norms that mothers must work to earn money, place children in full time childcare, place elderly family members in institutions, family mediation to agree upon elderly parents’ allowance. Most of the time, if these families do not conform to the above, despite their reasons; financial subsidies for education, financial assistance and even housing would be withheld from these families. Cultural differences can also play an influential role in our perceptions of parents. It is unreasonable to assume that we completely understand the diverse sociocultural and economic influences that shape parental attitudes and behaviour. This is especially true when a family from a different class or cultural group comes to us for help. Families have an existing ecology of thoughts, emotions and behaviours, based on their unique history and traditions. Assuming that we automatically know what constitutes ‘good’ or ‘bad’ parenting in a family from a different culture that our own shows disrespect for these ecologies and can do more 1 I would like to acknowledge that “Malay” is a generic racial grouping of diverse communities that started in the colonial times, and because of this all-encompassing and abstract term, and including the “Banjarese, Bugis, Javanese and others as part of the Malay race thus had the negative effect of allowing the myth of the lazy native to be applied to all those racial groupings as well. “(Noor, 2009)


harm than good. (Freeman, Epston & Lobovits, 2010,p.73) The percentage of ethnic Malays in the prison, welfare system, government rental flats, low wage earners and school dropouts is over represented and often the public discourse is about how they need to work harder and have fewer children. For many seeking employment is very difficult, and are discriminated on the basis of their inability to speak mandarin. There is an inequity in terms of accessibility for support in education. My colleague said about a teacher who pointed out to her about this child who faced financial difficulties was “late again, and look at his race?” implying that his malayness had something to do with his being late. Another idea linked to meritocracy is the idea of equal opportunity and the myth of social mobility and ideas of colour-blindness. This societal discourse often blames families especially fathers and mothers as “having crutch mentality”, “lazy” and generally making bad choices for their family. Consequently, according to this discourse, social workers are here to equip these families with skills - parenting, budgeting, stress management, planning, decision making. This dismisses the societal and political structures that maintain the status quo and the injustices and circumstances that families experience. b. Guilt, shame and spoiled identities At many organisations, whether government or voluntary welfare organisations, the authoritarian style are replicated - after listening to the problem saturated story, where evidence of poor health, dysfunction, deprivation and conflict are sought out and documented and passed on, solutions are suggested to the families, and compliance is demanded. A family’s access to basic needs may be withheld if there is no agreement. Additionally, their actions are questioned according to colonizing family norms. Our clients are strongly impacted by accusatory and patronising questions by government agencies, and usually object to suggestions to seek help from them at times to protect their dignity. Many have shared the shame and guilt that comes with losing a job or seeking help. For children, they are termed as “beneficiaries”,”needy” or “vulnerable”: recipients of charity and requiring public’s compassion to provide School Pocket Money Fund. Parties and budgeting classes still organized for low income children by well-intentioned people; who want them to feel happy at these one off parties, or impart budgeting skills without recognizing their implicit messages of judgements on these families or understanding their realities. In school, they may be silenced by teachers’ words and treatment. This stems from negative attributes given to them when they are late, unable to do their homework, poor attendance or academic performance. Additionally, Singapore society measures student’s worth according to


academic performance. These approaches do not take into account the effect of poverty on the child’s performance at school. I invited people to join the League of Parents and Small People against Pocket Kering, as experts of this issue, and to contribute to its archives. Pocket Kering is a Malay colloquial description of having no money. In direct translation, it means that the “pocket is dry”. Externalisation of poverty like how Aids was externalised and personified in Malawi (Slliep, Y. & CARE Counsellors, 1996) could be very powerful and open up a variety of conversations for the community, regardless of its controversial nature. I hoped to transform the prevailing view of poverty as a consequence of internalised defects of each individual to an issue that has a large impact on the community. This would create a safe space for discussions that could lead to development of concrete solutions. I hope that building this community of support and solidarity would be a powerful weapon to reduce the effects of institutionalized racism, self-blame, and shame--And allow people to be free of this burden and isolation. c. Material deprivation Our families have low income and small wages despite long hours and poor work conditions. The country steers away from being a “welfare state”, and emphasizes a “many helping hands approach” which translates into a family needing to approach various places for different needs. These assistances usually last from one to three months, requiring much effort, processing time and documentation to apply and renew. Usually, these forms of assistance are deliberately inadequate and families find themselves stuck in a downwards spiral. Healthcare can be inaccessible and because of their lack of income, families often have poor diets. Simple needs like money for transport or books that most take for granted often cost much anxiety. According to Wilkinson & Pickett (2009), Singapore’s rate of imprisonment and income equality is much higher than other developed countries. As described by the earlier points, many of “their problems were actually symptoms of poverty, unjust economic planning, of racism, sexism, and heterosexism”, like events of “bad housing, homelessness, racist, sexist or heterosexist experiences”, and not a “result of internal family dysfunction.” (Waldergrave, Tamasese, Tuhaka and Campbell, 2003) We as social workers need to be aware, just as the Just Therapy team has strived: to not be simply, adjusting people to poverty…and by implication… encouraging in the families, the belief that they, rather than the unjust structures, were the authors of their problems and failures. (Waldergrave, Tamasese, Tuhaka and Campbell, 2003, p.66)


This project thus sought to be provide a space of empowerment and collective response to the social injustice.

The Process a. Invitations to join the League A station was set up to advertise the project and describe the processes to parents with children in primary school (aged seven to twelve) during our monthly disbursement of the School Pocket Money. Parents were asked if they were experiencing financial difficulties, and inquired about the conversations they had with their children about Pocket Kering. Most of them expressed interest in the programme, saying that they found it difficult to speak to their children about this. The League recruitment advertisement was shown to them and their children if they accompanied their parents. I reiterated that there were two parts, one was the home visit interview with the whole family, and the second was the day camp (as described below in part d to f), where the children would come in the morning and the parents would join them in the evening. We also arranged dates in which i could meet up with their families in their homes. The recruitment advertisement uses elements of a comic book, and a touch of humor. The video was voiced by my colleagues Reza and Farhana who added much entertainment and personality into it. This was the first of the many ways we created a child-inclusive space. Efforts at the Family Service Centre is focused on the adults’ ability to find solutions to manage their families and finances mostly through casework. Children are engaged in psycho-education and educational activities, but rarely address poverty. They were seen as passive participants in the family with regards to the financial problem, and are rarely consulted. Most people privilege adult ways of being and coping with difficulties, disregarding children’s ways. I asked if we have distanced ourselves from childish ways of being when they could be helpful? In addition, as White explains, consulting children about financial difficulty could provide certain “solution knowledges”. Breaking from the narratives of human nature and from the associated developmental theories can open possibilities for children to be consulted about how their own solution knowledges might be applied to the events of their lives that are of a concern to their parents/caretakers. Children have a know-how that is relevant to the negotiation of many of the complexities that they face in the different contexts of their own lives. Some of this know-how is, of necessity, relatively sophisticated, because children do not often have access to the sort


of power that would be required to simply make happen what they want to have happen –they rarely have the power available to them to achieve the ends that they desire through independent and singular action. Unfortunately this know-how that children often have at their fingertips can easily be disregarded by parents and others who are concerned about the actions of these children. (White, 2000, p.19-20) We can recognise, exoticise and give value to children’s skills and knowledges or insider knowledges, which I hoped to do through multiple retellings, the employment of these insider knowledges and skills when they teach adults in the child-experience party, and during the definitional ceremony. We are creating re-grading experiences for them, in contrast to the experience they have with their academic performance. Their knowledge is validated, somewhat given legitimacy and worth, and elevated their status as poor students to knowledge wielders. b. Describing the ‘Pocket Kering’ monster and dissecting its tricks After watching the recruitment advertisement, the children are asked if they are willing to accept the mission, and in acceptance of the mission, to write their names on the “Mission Details”. Monsters make regular appearances in children books, movies and bedtime stories, and would provide a playful and safe space to talk about the monster of financial difficulties. “Pocket Kering”, it being in Malay language, creates a more familiar, local connection to the character as many children communicate in Malay at home. The children were quite happy to draw Pocket Kering Monster in their Mission Details from their imagination or with reference to the slideshow named “Monster Workshop”. We then started to research the effects of Pocket Kering. Asking about various aspects and contexts were very helpful, as a scaffold to gain richer descriptions as shrugs and “I don’t know” are too common answers for children. As i invited children and parents to retire the usual ways of “further cooperat[ing] with the seriousness of the problem or to oppose it an engage in a playful solution”, (Freeman, Epston & Lobovits, D., 1997) the children and parents giggled and joked. They thought it was funny when I asked them if Pocket Kering Monster made trouble for them at school and at recess time. It was helpful to use examples from children that I interviewed earlier to check if they had similar experiences or help them to share their own stories. The questions were: How does Pocket Kering Monster: 1. Affect your school life 2. Your recess time 3. Ruin your hopes to have more fun


4. Wreck your learning 5. Sap your physical health and energy 6. Leave you feeling a lot of the time 7. Leave you feeling about yourself? 8. Affect connections in your family? 9. Interfere with you making friends? 10. Relationships with your neighbours. 11. Relationships with your teachers 12. Affect your parents’ workplace or their friends? The children thought about these questions, and said “no”, if it did not disturb them in that aspect or “yes” and continued to describe their experience. One of the stories that stayed with me is when Hayati, who shared that sometimes the teacher will inform her that she needs to buy something, and if her father has no money, she will pray that it will not be needed that day. But sometimes, she will get scolded by the teacher. When we reached the question about her teacher’s relationship with her, she said Pocket Kering had not affected it, as she has qualities of a student that the teacher appreciates. We then talked about the intentions of Pocket Kering and the feelings that he feeds on that sustain them or make them happy? Children shared that the monster likes it when they fight, are sad or hungry. Using the third stage of the Statement of Position Map 1 (White, 2004), the children were invited to make a stand against the Pocket Kering Monster. “Is it okay or not okay that the Pocket Kering Monster makes trouble for your family?” and asking them to justify these evaluations, asking them why they took up this stand, and what it say about what was important to them. All the children took up a resounding “No” when I summarized the effects of Pocket Kering. They did not like their parents being tired or stressed, not being able to buy school books, feeling hungry and sapped of energy, or losing their friends. Some families reported that it made their families more united, and gave rise opportunities to show characteristics of sharing, caring for others, strength and respect. Neighbors seemed to share more in times of need. c. Superpowers and their origins Each time I turn to the next page and ask, “What are the superpowers that you use when you deal with the monster?” excitement, shyness and amusement comes from the children’s faces, “superpowers?” These inquiries elicit beautiful stories of resistance and endurance: how parents always ensure their children have pocket money for school and how these children as young as seven save their money and


later share it with their parents. Many children also spoke about keeping quiet to be sensitive to the stress of their parents. We laughed when we learnt about how one of the children cares for his family and helps them during stressful times by shaking his backside, and giggled as we traced a family’s expertise in massaging each other. There were profound moments when parents reflected, “this is something new for me, I never knew this before”, when a mother learnt that her son has been saving money at his grandmother’s house, and now is on his second Tabung2, and another mother when her 7 year old son reflected that he was alright with sharing his savings, asked him why he was willing to do so. He replied that his parents have been taking care of them since he was young. There are many proud moments as parents reflect their pride at their children’s display of “understanding”, and one mother described her son as her “lifesaver”. “Superpowers” was in part also inspired by Johnson’s (2010) ideas of asking about, “strong power, chatterbox power, brave power. By privileging children’s skills using fun language, these “childish” and underrated skills are recognised for its value to their families and others. After inquiring about the children’s experiences of Pocket Kering, their evaluation of the effects and justifying the evaluation, and learning about the children’s Superpowers, I invite the parents back if they have been cooking or having conversations with other family members to join us while I retell what we have richly described. This, I found was a great opportunity for the parents to affirm the children or feel proud of them. Most of them affirmed what the children had said and expressed appreciation towards their children for their contributions to their parent’s welfare. After which, I will engage the parents about the history of the Superpowers. I do so by asking the children, “where did you get these skills from?”, and next asking the parents, “Your child shared that they have learnt this superpower from you. Do you think they learnt that from you?” or “Do you use these superpowers?” Subsequently, I asked,” Where did you get this? Did you learn this when you were a child? How has your family or upbringing contributed to these values?” Working with children can be tricky, and we have to take care not to create spaces of empowerment for the children while degrading their parents. This is a challenge for those who work with families with complex problems and thinly described labels, for example child protection referrals. However, often, children’s skills could then be traced to the adults’, and other caregivers. When developing stories with the parents and children about Pocket Kering, I intentionally thicken and find histories of these skills and values, tracing them 2 Piggy bank in Malay language


back to Malay culture or Islamic beliefs. When I ask this question without proper scaffolding, I often get blank looks and answers like, “you know I’m not like other low income malay mothers”, distancing herself from the culture and association. When scaffolding is provided, as shown above, people are able to recognise and reclaim their cultural background, history and heritage instead of trying to distance themselves from it. In these ways, I hope to: Genealogically connect [their ‘wonderfulness’] to either previously unstoried pasts, the [superpowers] of their parents, or the legacies of the families and communities from which they come. (Epston, D., & Marsten, D.,2010, p.31) To trace these skills, knowledges and beliefs to culture, I asked,” Did you learn this from your culture or religion? Are these values or skills linked to your religion (Islam)? How about your culture (Malay)? What is your ethnic background? Bugis, Java…”, “Are there certain religious beliefs that you keep in your heart especially during hard times? Are there songs or sayings in your culture that keep you strong or remind you of these values?” and lastly “Are there people in your culture that show these values?” “Saving”, “sharing” and “keeping quiet” are thus rooted in family and cultural values. I listened to pop and religious songs like “Andai Ku Tahu”3, and heard about people of Malay heritage they admired. I was audience to stories of divorce, hardship and poverty, and learnt how these skills gained in these hard won experiences were acquired and subsequently passed on to their children. d. Small people group engagement with the monster, and retelling of skills, values and knowledges This part of the project starts in the morning of a Sunday. There were a total of four staff (Kelu, Natasha, Leo and i), one ex-intern (Avelene), and a mother (Rosillah) from the League during the day camp. First, the children watched and interacted in the interrogation of the personified Pocket Kering Monster and an interview of “Superpower”- and embodiment of the League’s skills, knowledges and values. (This involved 2 adults in costumes, an interviewer, and a chasing activity.) This was adapted from Yvonne Sliep and the CARE Counsellors’s (1996) work in personifying AIDS and Care as Mr/Mrs AIDS and Mr/Mrs CARE. The script (Appendix A) was adapted to the experiences shared in the family interviews. Next, the monsters stepped into the physical realm as the children created the monsters with craft materials labeled in jars such as, “Vampire Eyes of Jealousy”, “Hungry teeth”, “Fur of Sadness” or” 3 Families hold on to this reminder: to make full use of what they have now and not regret when they move on


Sneaky Slime of Shame”. The children then decorated their “helmet” which displays their Superpowers. This part ended with a brief retelling and sharing of the skills, knowledges and values in the large group. And the children, donning their superpower helmets, together chased away the personified Pocket Kering Monster. e. Operation M: Planning and running the economic project Subsequently, the children were given three hours and materials to prepare for a party for adults. They were invited to choose roles and teams that are best suited to their skills and knowledges. Facilitators guided them as the cultural consultant of what adults would find fun and entertaining. The children were invited into one of 4 groups. We attempted to match the everyday powers they use against Pocket Kering with the activity assigned to them:

1) Waiting/Patience Power (Clothes Peg Racing Car)

Those who have the patience to wait to get home before eating, the savings power and can wait for the Tabung to fill up. And those who also likes to draw when they are upset or like to do crafts

2) Playing power (Swingball game, Frozen Tee shirt contest, Blind man’s buff)

Those who like to play games with their friends and siblings to keep hunger away, or play with their toys.

3) Laughing power (Acting team)

Cheering family members up and make them laugh, acting, telling jokes, dancing and being funny?

4) Caring/ Helping power (Dream Catcher Making)

Caring for others in the family, massaging, helping with chores at home.

Most of the children took to their roles quickly. They started making the necessary preparations that involved setting the rules, practicing how to guide people in the activities, decorating their stations. The acting team divided the acting roles and worked on their scripts. When the guests started arriving, two children helped with the registration, and issuing each ticket for $10. Another two helped to apply temporary tattoos. The guests were guided through the various stations, and seemed to enjoy the children’s laughter and enthusiasm. Fern, a participant’s experience is recorded in Appendix B.


f. Definitional ceremony The guests were joined by the Parents of the League against Pocket Kering to witness the definitional ceremony we term as a “Press conference of Hope and Faith”, where people are invited to respond in the ways of the structure of Outsider Witness Practice (White, 2007). The invite also has the questions that will be asked during the definitional ceremony. The definitional ceremony started with the children’s skit of the personified Pocket Kering Monster and Superpower. The audience was delighted at the children’s skit (Appendix C) which was adapted by Rosilah. She used malay colloquialisms and humor. The children were repeating lines that they probably heard regularly from their parents, and that made it funnier. The audience cheered on and encouraged the children. The children who were not performing, joined the audience in honoring this time by paying attention and giving respect to what the Acting Team was saying. The collective document (Appendix D) that was created from the family interviews was read to the audience. A public and social achievement in which a person’s preferred identity claims are acknowledged. It is understood that people are dependent upon social processes of acknowledgement for the ‘authentication’ of their preferred identity claims; that, as an outcome of this social acknowledgement, people experience being ‘at one’ with these preferred claims. (White, 2004) People were acknowledging parents and children’s contributions, insider knowledges and skills. Rosilah, also started to share about what she and many parents value, with tears in her eyes, she said, I think what is important for us parents is that although we are tired but we try our best to spend time with our children although the stress level is high especially being single parents, we try to give our best for our children. I want the children to know that although we can’t give you the amount of money to spend on things, but we try to be there for you for you. That’s why today I’m here sacrificing my Sunday to spend time with you kids. This was echoed by Fareez who said: When you spoke about spending time with the children, I think that really struck out to me, even though Pocket Kering comes and bothers the whole family, but you still find so much time to spend with your kids. I thought that that was very meaningful. I think for all the parents here, your children are very important because even when the children were struggling to say the words (in


the skit), I think I hear some of the parents cheering the kids on which I thought although there are so many stuggles we are facing, we can still put our children the first priority, which strikes out to me as an important value they have. Lanny, a guest, spoke about being drawn to the word “tahan”, she said: Reminded me of many under privilege population in my home country. They are often seems to be invisible, no one pay attention & listen to their struggle trying to make ends meet. No one notice their internal resources, that become their skills to resist the challenges that they are facing: courage, and persistence to stay afloat. They hang on to the hope and dream that all of us have – to be able to live comfortable live, and be a good citizen to contribute to the society. They value family relationship, unconditional love that help to build internal resources to press on.That comes from how I reflect about myself, about when did I have these situations when I had to tahan a lot of things. Having the privilege live comfortable life, I need to be intentionally provide bigger space and time when I work with marginalize population , to listen to their hidden stories. Stories that sustain their live, value, and dreams that they have. Many of the guests also thanked the children for the party, and the acknowledged their contributions they made today and to their families. After the definitional ceremony, parents visited the various stations, and we also distributed ticket profits, which amounted to six dollars each. When the children collected the money, we would also hand out some of our observations of the child’s contributions to the day. Participants could be invited to write responses to the children and this could be incorporated to children’ stories for identity making. Some responses (in person or written are recorded in Appendix E). Power-over interaction has the effect of disempowering people, as described earlier about guilt and shame. A large percentage of the families who consult with me have “spoiled identities” (Epston and White, 1990), contributed by the normative gaze and degrading practices that question their motivation, values and choices. Using a definitional ceremony, to retell a more complete story of the experiences with Pocket Kering to an audience, the children and their families can connect with their preferred identity: A public and social achievement in which a person’s preferred identity claims are acknowledged. It is understood that people are dependent upon social processes of acknowledgement for the ‘authentication’ of their preferred identity claims; that, as an outcome of this social acknowledgement,


people experience being ‘at one’ with these preferred claims. (White, 2007) In addition, this project changes the relationship between the community at large and the children that deal with Pocket Kering. The children are no longer “beneficiaries”, but using their hard won skills to earn money. This is elaborated in the next section. g. Future Developments Many people after listening to these stories appreciate the opportunities to understand the hardships, and the family’s skills and knowledges. They say that their perspective of poverty in Singapore and the people who experience it has shifted. Rosilah shared that she had been flooded with thoughts about how to further develop this project, and wants to dramatize the skit more, and have more child experience parties. As I shared with a group of Narrative Practitioners in Singapore, they are keen to support the work of the League, and invite other parents and children to join the league. We are planning and considering ways in which people from different levels of power Singapore could influence policies and practices that could further support the League of Parents and Small People against Pocket Kering and others who experience Pocket Kering. One of the ideas we are thinking about is inviting other parents and children from other parts of Singapore experiencing Pocket Kering to add to the collective document, and create a brochure that could be distributed to all Family Service Centres, government offices, schools and other institutions. We are also thinking of inviting League members to speak at conferences or to community stakeholders, where they could read the collective document or present the skit of the interview with Pocket Kering Monster and Superpower.

Reflections a. Heaviness of the topic Although we spoke about the skills knowledges, hopes and preferred identities, and used humor, the skills of dealing with these hardships was difficult for many to accept fully because it was somehow violating a discourse that children should not need to bear these burdens and use these skills such as tahan4, and ways of containing hunger. Talking about Pocket Kering has to be handled sensitively and the effects of such conversations have to be considered with care. In these 2 weeks, I witnessed as many parents described this conversation as good as they knew how 4 Tolerance in malay


the children felt5 about Pocket Kering, but I saw the heaviness on their faces. When talking about the effects was too much to bear, I would inquire about the skills. I felt that it was helpful to weave back and forth from effects to skills, based on the emotions in the room. After another profound session, I would again reflect about the effects of this conversation, and if this had created another burden for the families, despite having explored in depth the stories of endurance, faith and strength. What sort of preparation would be required for these families? What could have been done so that parents could consider the effects of these conversations before the conversation? The parents shared that this conversation did make them feel a little more stressed and sad, but this was important to them as them as they knew how their child was feeling, and what they wanted. Some also expressed that at the same time they appreciated listening to how the children had gratitude towards their efforts. For example, when I asked one of the families, they said that they appreciated understanding why their son was reported by the school teachers to look like he was “depressed”. One of the reasons was that he had lost all his friends but one, when their financial situation became serious after his parents lost their jobs after unfair work practices. They also heard stories of how he relished time with his one friend, and focused his attention on his work when in class instead of playing with other children. In the future, I will pay more attention in the preparation of families for the possible uncovering of these feelings. In addition, experiences of earlier members of the League could be shared with new members. b. Practical considerations for participation Following the part about preparation of the families, I think that asking the effects of joining this project would be essential, especially for the families that consult with us who face challenges with their schedules and attending programmes. Often their everyday or unanticipated challenges may occur - making it difficult for them to participate fully in the programmes. If their participation is linked to the family’s hopes, I wonder if this will have an effect on their participation. However, being practical, I did acknowledge the difficulties it may take to travel to our agency, and offered transportation or the possible assistance with the costs. c. The ethics of empowerment and collectivism Initially, I was worried that empowerment of children could be a scary process

5 Stories include that of coping with hunger, sadness from losing friends, not being able to buy bicycles or school books.


for parents who are accustomed to clear hierarchies and power. As I found out, this was not much of an issue as the families I interviewed valued independence, and the parents were fully aware of the processes the children will be engaged in. By acknowledging the parents’ contributions to the children’s skills and knowledges, we were able to avoid a situation where the parents felt blame, guilt or were degraded for the children’s difficult experiences. Stories of unity, sharing, helping one another and other ways of collectivist ways of being a family was a very prominent value of these families, thus as we re-told them in the definitional ceremony, “Kuah sama dihirup, sambal sama dicolek”6, we honoured and upheld their value of families uniting in difficult times. d. Protection and safety Child empowerment was less necessary to be named in comparison with naming “protection”. When inquiring about things that could be shameful, children needed much assurance from the parents; I recognise that these are ways in which children try to protect their parents. For example, when I was inquiring about hunger, some children chose to be quiet about this. After assurance from their parentsnand time, they realised that it was safe that they started to talk about it. This sometimes happen during the inquiry into Superpowers. One boy later revealed that there are days when they sleep without dinner. He said that he will drink lots of water until he will sleep. When children are quiet about the effects, checking with their parents about their knowledge could be helpful. e. Parents as consultants on their children’s lives I was not able to have a colleague of Malay ethnicity to accompany me to the interviews, due to time and resource constraints. At some of these homes, the children were more proficient in Malay instead of English, and parents acted as translators of whispers, explaining to the children and gauging if the children understand the question. They would then ask the question in ways the children could understand. They used their insider knowledges as parents to provide the scaffolding. When they knew some of the stories of the effects of Pocket Kering and the skills the children had. They will guide and hint to the children them to share those stories. They were my co-facilitators, encouraging their children to answer, teaching them to spell. It was a joy to share these spaces of nurturance, where they would play, and giggle together with the children. 6 which is translated as ‘The broth is slurped together, the sambal is dipped together


On another level, the parents and older siblings were witnesses to their sibling’s skills and their experiences. I realised this when interviewing two sisters about how Pocket Kering monster ruins their hopes of having more fun. When they shook their heads, their older sister responded with “are you sure?”, and their father proceeded to share how they are used to the situation and the deprivation involved. He said that although they are used to it, sometimes they would ask their parents to go out on the weekends which they cannot afford. He also added later, with dewy eyes that he is so proud of them that they are very understanding. Their first question, he says, when they want something is not to ask, “Can I have this?”, but “Dad, do you have money to afford this?” f. Balancing Guidance and Chaos There were a total of six adult facilitators during the day camp. This was a great challenge as there were about thirty children. Most of the facilitators were single and had no children of their own with the exception of Rosilah who shone with her wonderful management of the kids. Many of us came in with ideas of not lecturing kids, not scolding them, or raising our voices and so when the time came, but the ratio was too large. By lunch we were drained. Although we wanted to give the space to be empowered, the children had little preparation to “teach” others, or organise it like how older children could. Thus, there was much shyness, and disorganisation, and we adults had to take a more active role in helping the children, and sometimes we relied on less preferred ways of relating to children. Speaking with Rosilah a few days after the programme, she said that she really enjoyed it, but suggested that the children have more time for preparation. I also wondered if the skills and abilities of each child and the station could be matched better. Definitely, more adults will be preferable to help the children in the preparation. e. Social action & Social movement We hope to contribute to the current poverty reduction social movement that aims to increase awareness of economic inequalities in Singapore. Nur comes from a family that has low wages and they were concerned about her occasional stealing of money and other “naughty” behaviours. And she shared with me what it was like to not have money. She asked her parents if she was poor and “Jealousy” sometimes bothered her when she wanted to buy “girly” things, and often not having lunch money. She expressed that she “really really wants to earn money”. We talked about other ways to measure our self worth, and we decided to make our own currency of skills and strengths. But, as Kitzinger and Perkins (1993) clearly pointed out about “the personal is political” and in this case, economic and racial injustices were at


risk of simply being “reduced to individual psychological matters”. “Wait until your inner world is sorted out before shifting your attention to the outer and you are, indeed, ‘waiting for the revolution’”, I think that Kitzinger and Perkins might agree that Nur was ready to contribute to social change. I decided to ask Nur if she would be interested in earning money over the holidays. Nur’s excited look signalled that sparked this project. Effects of financial difficulty on children are often invisible to others or acknowledged. Thus, it is important to have an economic component. Operation M, an economic project run by the “Small people of the League against Pocket Kering”, aims to be a form of a concrete collective solution to a real practical problem. As in the example of Mt Elgon’s children’s clubs (Denborough, 2010) where “they meet and discuss what projects they can initiate in order to alleviate the financial burdens on their caretakers and to provide small financial contributions towards the expense of school materials, clothing and future investments”, young people can be engaged in such ways to contribute to the family and community. I loved how the collective practices of the definitional ceremony, tree of life, etc created the space for space and opportunities, perhaps these experiences will create more possibilities for them in the future. Stories of pride and survival, and personal-social-cultural histories of these stories to be harnessed in order to raise heads above the clouds, to build the capacity to aspire, and to engage in social actions. (Denborough, 2010) Children contributing to others and receiving payment for it is a reversal of the normal dynamics of being a beneficiary. Having “childhood experience” parties organized by children for offices looking for a bit of fun could tap on the same children skills employed in their financial hardship to run parties, are a reversal of usual ways of the relating with those from a higher income group. The economic/ social action project is a form of definitional ceremony, with their outsider witnesses, the guests of their parties. In addition, by gathering, documenting and publishing widely the stories of children’s skills and strategies against the externalised “Pocket Kering Monster”, subjugated stories of poverty and people who face them are thickened; and challenge dominant discourses. These multiple retellings of insider knowledge including demonstrating skills through the childhood experience parties, helps others see that these families are doing their best in a climate of structural inequity and ally with the League and perhaps have an influence on policy or action with regards to poverty.


Relationships of power determine which actors are in a position to fashion and define policies, to influence market structures, to shape public debates, to govern the actions of others or more generally to participate effectively in economic, social and political life. In this sense power is implicated in all societal outcomes, poverty and distribution included. The exercise of power is clearly related to the “traditional” levers of social and poverty policy: as for instance in the power to define and implement employment policy, the power to determine the contents and targets of capacity building programs, or the power to design and initiate social protection interventions. All these initiatives occur, and occur in the way that they do, because certain actors have the power to make this so. Social movements emerge as part of and in response to these prevailing relations of power…They emerge to make visible identities rendered invisible or abnormal by these relationships, to challenge currently dominant ideas as to how society should be organized, to draw attention to needs not currently attended to under existing social arrangements, or to argue that existing arrangements need protecting and deepening…relatively few social movements emerge specifically around the issue of poverty, in particularly poverty as defined by lack (of income, capacity, or other assets). However, if poverty (among other social outcomes) is a product of prevailing relations of power, to the extent that different movements emerge to challenge or deepen these relations, and to the extent that power relationships at any one point in time reflect a balance among the capacities of these movements and other actors, then social movements are necessarily relevant to the existing status of poverty and the likelihood that it may change.” (Bebbington, 2009). g. Of privilege and power This project aims to counter and address many issues of dominance in the methodology and approach. First, by externalising poverty, we were able to separate the person or community from the problem, as well make poverty visible and a real concern. We then positioned ourselves as a non-expert position, and seeking insider knowledges, and archiving them so that it could contribute to others. This was far from the usual expert and power over positions where “professionals” address internal deficits in the people and community, such as skills training for relationship, coping, assertiveness, parenting, life planning, etc. That assumes that people do not have knowledges and insights about their situation, are not making initiatives over their lives, and discounting the oppressive practices and structural inequity that people experience.


In addition to being aware of our privileges, we wanted to also use our privilege to build awareness of the experience of poverty, and create spaces where their voices could be heard, and the dominant oppressive identities countered by their preferred identities. By using our unearned privileges, by using our contacts, resources and influence to share these stories with people so that we may “challenge currently dominant ideas as to how society should be organized, to draw attention to needs not currently attended to under existing social arrangements”, which is one of the aims of a social movement. Taliaferro, Casstevens & Decuir Gunby (2013) said that by “deny[ing] the political sources of experience and render them purely personal”, and “defin[ing] our problems in psychological instead of political terms, can be destructive, passive and unethical” Since reading that paper, Conscientização or the raising of consciousness (Friere, 1994), is something that hold myself accountable to, to explore with the people I work with, especially those who have started to internalize blame and shame. However, as with all narrative approaches, this is done in a decentred and tentative manner. I firstly make some inquiries into their view of their circumstances, how they make sense of it all, and try to use experience near language. I have also seen sparkling effects of this practice. However, this approach, a de-colonizing and anti-oppression stance, has real risks of affecting my career, relationships or the agency, so I try to balance it very carefully with the risk of not situating people’s challenges in the wider social and political contexts. With greater support from my peers and agency, this is a practice that I try to do on a more public platform, outside individual or family sessions. At the time of the initial stages of the project, and few had publicly spoken about inequity or oppressive structures, and dominant discourses of race were still mostly unchallenged and there are possibilities that the project would be shut down. I chose to speak about poverty without directly addressing the societal and political causes. This is one of the reasons in which i did not speak about it when inviting people to join the league. This project specifically sought out to counter the effects of racial dominance and classism. It was my intention to be race-conscious and not colorblind due to principles of equity, as explained by Culp (1994): Colorblindness ultimately argues in favor of a racialized status quo that leaves …racial minorities in an unequal position. By the phrase ‘racial status quo,’ I mean the economic reality that African Americans are twice as likely to be unemployed and are more likely to be fired than are white Americans less likely to be employed in positions that provide status or higher income.


Race is a taboo topic in Singapore. So although I wanted to create a space for families of Malay ethnicity, I found it difficult to name the oppression and unjust structures as it involved an amount of risk and I would be considered “too political”. By not speaking about this, risked people thinking that the project or had oppressive assumptions like that of the society - that the malay people had internal deficits and needed to be imparted skills to be improve financially or “functioning better” by us “professionals”, which is the dominant way of working in our agency and many in Singapore. Thus, while I was inviting people to be part of the league, despite the video that honored their insider knowledges and acknowledged the difficult circumstances Pocket Kering puts them in, perhaps upon hearing the League’s name, defensiveness or even worse, acceptance and self blame could step in. Consulting my colleague Jannah, she shed some light about how she thought that people of Malay ethnicity could respond, and echoed my fears that due to the pervasiveness and often repeated discourse of relating to the Malay community and individuals. She inquired about the reasons behind my programme’s race consciousness and valued the explanations of equity, oppression and how inequality and inequity hurts everyone. She also agreed that speaking about this in these ways during the invitation would be appreciated by the people who consult with us. Another way in which I was aware of the power between us was that I had taken respect while inviting the parents to join the league. I recognized people’s every day struggles, and left it open for people to participate or not to participate. Although I was stationed on the same day while money was being disbursed, it was clear that people had the freedom to choose their involvement and how they would be involved, knowing that this will not affect the assistance that is rendered to us. (Sometimes, programmes are compulsory or strongly encouraged by caseworkers to attend.) People were able to chose timings that were suitable to their schedule, and where they wanted it to be held. Lastly, I honoured what the parents and the children said, listening attentively, repeating it back to the family as best as I could, appreciating the initiatives and values they held on to in spite of Pocket Kering. I also rescued the words and stories as best as I could via the audio recordings into the collective document. This, I believe honoured their experiences, skills, and insider knowledges-their hard won knowledges. I also showed respect while asking them about their culture and religion, asking with genuineness to learn more about the history and these aspects that they placed value to.


Conclusion & Acknowledgement Having spoken to some families after the definitional ceremony, I heard some of the hopes were met. One of the fathers shared that although in the beginning he was dragging his feet to attend the definitional ceremony, he really appreciated coming to hear other families being united, and facing difficult problems like them. The children’s superpowers were recognised and used; we honoured families and cultures, and developed and connected with their preferred identities. We connected with other preferred identities, not “beneficiaries”, or “charity cases”, “or dependent” through multiple re-tellings, demonstrations, and witnessing. And lastly, we made Pocket Kering or poverty visible and named it. Beyond that, there is much potential development and support for this project to contribute to the poverty reduction social movement. Conducting this project has been very meaningful for me. I hope that this League of Parents and Small people against Pocket Kering would build the foundation for further solidarity and collective action. These initiatives may not currently be widely recognised and they may not in themselves be enough to overcome all that is presently facing the community. These initiatives are, however, highly significant. Making it possible for community members to identify these initiatives, to richly describe them so that the skills and knowledges implicit within them become more visible to themselves and others, and to trace the history of these skills and knowledges so that the ways these are linked to local culture are understood, can strengthen these initiatives in ways that make further action possible.” (Denborough, 2008) I would like to acknowledge the contributions of members of the League of the Parents and Children against Pocket Kering and other people who face challenges daily as they deal with the effects of poverty; as well and as those who have guided my path and work alongside me for social justice and ethical practice. “We do this work on the shoulders of others and we shoulder others up.”(Reynolds, 2013)

References Poverty reduction and social movements: A framework with cases. (2009). Retrieved from Institute for Development Policy and Management / Brooks World Poverty Institute website: http://www.sed.manchester.ac.uk/research/socialmovements/publications/reports/ BebbingtonPaperfinal_Unrisd_Poverty.pdf Creative Interventions. (2014). Stories. Available: http://www.stopviolenceeveryday.org/. Last accessed 30 May 2014.


Culp, J. (1994). Colorblind Remedies and the Intersectionality of Oppression: Policy Arguments Masquerading as Moral Claims. (Faculty Scholarship.) Duke University School of Law. Denborough,D. (2010), Raising our heads above the clouds: The use of narrative practices to motivate social action and economic development: The work of Caleb Wakhungu and the Mt Elgon Self-Help Community Project. Adelaide, SA: Dulwich Centre Publications. DeVance Taliaferro, Jocelyn; Casstevens, Willa J and DeCuir Gunby, Jessica T. Working with African American clients using narrative therapy: An operational citizenship and critical race theory framework. International Journal of Narrative Therapy & Community Work, No. 1, Mar 2013: 34-45. Epston, D., & Marsten, D. (2010). What doesn’t the problem know about your son or daughter?’ Providing the conditions for the restoration of a family’s dignity’. International Journal of Narrative Therapy and Community Work, 2010(2), 30-36. Farish, A. N. (2009). The lost tribes of Malaysia: The construction of race politics from colonial era to the present Colonial. In What your teacher didn’t tell you: The annexe lectures (7th ed., p. 72). Petaling Jaya, Malaysia: Matahari Books. Freeman, J. C., Epston, D., & Lobovits, D. (1997). Playful approaches to serious problems: Narrative therapy with children and their families. New York: W.W. Norton. Grieves, L. (1997). From beginning to start: The vancouver anti-anorexia anti-bulimia league. Gecko: A journal of deconstruction and narrative ideas in therapeutic practice,1997(2), 78-88. Johnson, L. (2010). A child’s voice: Narrative family therapy. International Journal of Narrative Therapy and Community Work, 2010(4), 3-14. Kitzinger, C & Perkins, R. (1993). Lesbian ethics, lesbian politics. In Changing our minds: Lesbian feminism and psychology (pp.183-198). New York, NY: NYU Press Ministry for Community Development, Youth and Sports -. (2012, August 13). Numbers and profile of homeless persons - Ministry of Social and Family Development. Retrieved from http:// app.msf.gov.sg/Press-Room/Numbers-and-profile-of-homeless-persons Reynolds, V. (2010). Doing justice as a path to sustainability in community work (Doctoral dissertation, Tilburg University, Netherlands). Retrieved from http://www.taosinstitute.net/ Websites/taos/Images/PhDProgramsCompletedDissertations/ReynoldsPhDDissertationFeb2210. pdf Slliep, Y. & CARE Counsellors. (1996) Pang’ ono pang’ ono ndi mtolo - little by little we make a bundle. Dulwich Centre Newsletter, (3), 3-11 White, M. (2007). Maps of narrative practice. New York: W.W. Norton & Co. White, M. (2000). Children, children’s culture, and therapy. In Reflections on narrative practice: Essays and interviews (pp. 1-22). Adelaide, S. Aust: Dulwich Centre Publications. White, M., & Epston, D. (1990). Narrative means to therapeutic ends. New York: Norton. Waldegrave, C. (2003). ‘Just Therapy’ with families and communities. In Just therapy - a journey: A collection of papers from the Just Therapy Team, New Zealand (p. 66). Adelaide, South Australia: Dulwich Centre Publications. Wilkinson, R. G., & Pickett, K. (2010). The spirit level: Why greater equality makes societies stronger. New York: Bloomsbury Press.


Appendix A: Interrogating Pocket Kering Monster and Interviewing “Skills” Interrogation: The Strategy of Pocket Kering I

Who are you?

PK

My name is Pocket Kering. I am a monster who has been around disturbing people and making trouble for a long time.

I

Why did you decide to enter our lives? What are your hopes and dreams?

PK

My hopes and dreams are to destroy these families, and to make their lives very difficult. I hope to stay here forever!

I

What effects do you have on our families and homes?

PK

My strategy is to divide and destroy. I make people angry with each other, and angry with themselves and feel sad.and feel ashamed.

I

You are so jahat!

PK

Yes, I am very evil • I make children very hungry at lunch or recess time because sometimes they only have enough money for lunch or recess. They often have little cash and the coupons given by the school is very little. • Sometimes at the end of the month, there is not enough money for -dinner. • For some children, I am able to make it difficult for them to keep their friends or make friends! This really messes them up, because they may only have 1 or 2 friends left! • I also make their mommies and daddies very stressed and tired. • They also will feel bad when they want things like bicycles, or books. • Sometimes they cannot buy the things that the teacher asks them to buy or pay for. They pray very hard that the teacher will not ask them. But sometimes, the teacher may scold them for it • Sometimes I make them feel shy about using the coupon!

I

What effects do you have on our community?

PK

I love making the community feel bad about themselves, so that they will feel ashamed. Sometimes I make families feel alone and isolated. I make them feel hopeless and create conflict. I also create so many problems and stress that they can’t come together to talk about me.


I

What are the things that you do to make you strong?

PK

Where people are confused and stressed, I work well. You see, I am sneaky. I make them feel bad about themselves so they feel embarrassed to seek help and support. I make people blame themselves for not being able to get rid of me and I tell them, “you are useless, you can’t do anything to get of me! I can play as much as I can in your home!” Also, I create many misunderstandings and trick other Singaporeans that I don’t exist! I am very good at hiding myself in their homes and lives. I don’t like gatherings like this when you tell each other about me. It makes things difficult for me.

Interview: “Skills” and its history and strength I

Who are you? Where do you come from?

Skills

I am the skills of the league. I am your mother, your father, your grandparents, the elders in the community, and you. I come from your religion, beliefs, and culture.

I

Why have you come now?

Skills

I see that you have met PK monster. I have not come so that we can work together to get rid of him, to take care of the community…

I

What are your hopes and dreams?

Skills

PK has come to destroy your lives and brought a lot of suffering. I hope that we will work together to get rid of him, to take care of the community...

I

How do we do this? How can we make people understand they can help?

Skills

I hear that the people of the league have so many skills. I heard about children who don’t use any of their cash and just use the coupon. They have a tabung where they will keep all their money. We also heard about how they share with their siblings and parents when Pocket Kering is especially troublesome and there is no money for food. They are also very understanding, and will try to play, sleep or drink lots of water if they are hungry. Many of them have waiting power! They can wait until they go home and they will eat a lot! Playing with their siblings, and their toys like Ultra man and Power


Rangers helps too. They try not to let Pocket Kering make them upset. And when they don’t care about him, it seems the monster is much smaller. Many of them are very united. Some of the parents are very stressed and some are very tired after 12 hour shifts. So, they keep quiet so that their parents are not stressed and will hug, tickle, massage and talk to them or make them laugh. One of us shakes our butt very well to make everyone laugh. These are ways that we care for each other. Because of the monster, we also share with our neighbours. I

Where do these come skills come from?

Skills

These are hard earned from difficulties, for example when our parents divorced or started to have a lot of expenses. They work hard for their families because family is very important to them. Some come from religion: Some believe that this is a test from God, and one person said that it shows that God knows that you have the strength to take the difficulty.

I

What can we do?

Skills

A stick is easily broken, but a bundle is strong together.

Appendix B: Fern’s experience at the party At the reception: Arif explained to me that I can choose from many designs for a temporary tattoo. After I chose my design, I asked whether I could have a smaller one and Putri helped to cut it. She then helped to apply it on my hand. She was very careful and gentle when she helped me. Thank you! This is one of my favourite stations of the party. At the dream catcher station: Hian Huei, thank you for explaining the meaning of dream catchers and sharing the knowledge that it is from native America. I didn’t know that before today. Dian helped me to choose the wire for my dream catcher. She also encouraged me to choose beads to make my dream catcher prettier when I am not sure how to decorate it. Dewi gave me advice on the colours of the thread to use for my dream catcher when I cannot decide. Swing ball station: When I wanted to play Swing Ball, Habsah helped me to look after my bag. It made me feel that my things were safe and will not be taken by someone else. Jun Lung taught me how to play Swing Ball. He patiently answered


my questions and explained to me, even demonstrated how I should play the game. Blind man’s bluff: Intan in pink helped to tie my blindfold and promised to take care of me when I cannot see. It made me feel safe when I was playing the game. Clothes peg car racing: Hayati approached me when I was looking at the Racing track. She explained that I need to make my own racing car and helped me understand the game. Ishak was very patient with me when I asked many questions on how to make the racing car. He advised me to choose bigger buttons and explained that they helped the car moves faster. He shared an important tip! When the gold sticker that I chose was not sticky, he told me about it and helped to choose a chipmunk sticker which I really like. Thank you for helping to make sure my racing car is returned to me :)

Appendix C: Interrogating Pocket Kering Monster and Interviewing “Skills” Interrogation: The Strategy of Pocket Kering (Kids’ version) I

Who are you?

PK

My name is Pocket Kering. I am a monster who has been around disturbing people and making trouble for a long time.

I

Why did you decide to enter our lives? What are your hopes and dreams?

PK

My hopes and dreams are to destroy these families, and to make their lives very susah. I hope to stay here forever!

I

What effects do you have on our families and homes?

PK

My strategy is to divide and destroy. I make people angry with each other, and angry with themselves and feel sad.and feel ashamed.

I

Alamak! You are so jahat!

PK

Yes, I am very evil • I make children very lapar at recess time because they only have enough money for lunch . They often have little cash and the coupons given by the school is very little. • At the end of the month. money is not enough for dinner. • I am so jahat, I make children fight with their friends so they may only have 1 or 2 friends left! padan muka


I

So, What effects do you have on our community?

PK

I love making the community feel bad about themselves, so that they will feel malu. Sometimes I make families feel alone and isolated. I make them say: Ah! Stress! (02:31) Banyaknya bill nak kena bayar..Money is always not enough..boleh jadi gila….

I

Tell me, what makes you strong?

PK

Where people are confused and stressed, I work well. You see, I am sneaky. I make them feel bad about themselves so they feel embarrassed to seek help and support. I make people blame themselves for not being able to get rid of me and I tell them, “you are useless, you can’t do anything to get of me! I can play as much as I can in your home!” I don’t like gatherings like this when you tell each other about me. It makes things susah lah ini. Also, I create many misunderstandings and trick other Singaporeans that I don’t exist! I am very good at hiding myself in their homes and lives.

Interview: “Skills” and its history and strength I

Eh-eh, Who are you? Where do you come from?

Skills

I see you have met PK monster. I have come so that we can work together to get rid of him, to take care of the community…

I

Now then you come, why why tell me why.

Skills

I see that you have met PK monster. I have not come so that we can work together to get rid of him, to take care of the community…

I

What are your hopes and dreams?

Skills

PK has come to destroy your lives and brought a lot of suffering. I hope that we will work together to get rid of him.

I

So how? How can we make people understand so they can tolong? What can we do?

Skills

People of the league have so many skills and powers.. Some children don’t use any of their cash and just use the coupon. They have a


tabung. They share with their siblings and parents when Pocket Kering is very troublesome and they have no money for food. They are also very understanding, they try to play, sleep or drink lots of water if they are hungry. Many of them have waiting power that they can tahan until they go home and will eat a lot. They will also play with our kakak, adik, abang. When they don’t care about him, of course the monster pun jadi kecil lah. After the parents work 12 hours shift, they will be very stressed. The the children keep quiet so that their parents are not stressed and will hug, tickle, massage and talk to them or make them laugh. These are ways that we care for each other. The monster makes us share with our jiran. Bersatu kita teguh, bercerai kita roboh. A stick is easily broken, but a bundle is strong together.

Appendix D: Collective Document Our stories of dealing with Pocket Kering (draft) This document records down the ways in which we deal with Pocket Kering, or financial difficulty. We hope to share our knowledges with others, and also help others understand the conditions that we face. Pocket Kering disturbing us at school Sometimes, we need to buy books, important things or we want to buy stationary at the bookshop. One of us shared that she needs to buy her calculator because it has been spoilt for over a month. Some of us sometimes are unable to pay things at school, for example, a book that the teacher asks us to buy. We pray hard that the teacher will not ask for it as we may get scolded by the teacher. Sometimes, we do not have enough money to buy both food and water during lunch time, or we may have money for recess but not enough for lunch time. Sometimes we feel a little different from other children. For one of us, Pocket Kering was very fierce and big last month. Pocket Kering made us lose our friends, and this made us very sad. Pocket Kering making trouble at home Pocket Kering sometimes makes me feel very bored at home. For example, we


may want to buy a bicycle, and to have fun. Or we may want to go to the zoo or river safari like our friends. When we ask for toys, our family may need many months to save for the toys. We may not have enough money to buy gifts during birthdays. Sometimes, especially 1 or 2 weeks before our parents’ get their salary, we may not have money to buy food. We will feel hungry, and we know my mothers are hungry too, and this makes them sad. Sometimes we may cry. One of us also fights with our siblings when one of us wants to borrow money from the other, but he does not want to share his savings. We sometimes fight over toys and food. The monster also makes my parents feel tired because they are very stressed and work very hard. It sometimes also makes them fight each other. Other ways Pocket Kering makes life difficult Sometimes when we go out, we will want to buy a little food and water, and toys, but we cannot buy it because we have no money. This may make us feel sad. Some of us will keep quiet, but sometimes we will be angry and make a fuss. This fuss we make may cause our family to be upset. Some of our parents looks very stressed, and when we want to buy something, and our father cannot buy it, sometimes it makes me sad when we see him. Getting used to Pocket Kering Sometimes we do not notice the effects of Pocket Kering because we experience it for many years. But our parents know that it is there, when we are very hungry when we reach home and eat a lot, and when we tell our parents that we are bored at home and wish we could go out. Some of us continue to have as much fun as we can. We may go to the library with our friends, go swimming (which does not need so much money). Sometimes our friends will belanja us. Dealing with hunger Some of us eat a lot - And our food runs out very quickly. When we feel hungry, we may drink lots of water, suck or thumbs or swallow our saliva until we can sleep. Drinking a lot of water will make us feel full, and we may also play with our siblings, or fill our stomachs with biscuits. Playing with our toys like Ultraman or Power rangers helps. We don’t want to care about Pocket Kering at times, that’s why we sometimes don’t want to have anger. When we have no money for food, our parents may honestly tell us, and sometimes they will apologize. For some of us, our parents may then have a long talk about this, or money from their boss. But this means that they will get less money for the next month. At times, our relatives may share their food with us.


When we feel hungry at school, and have no money, we will drink lots of water from the water cooler and play soccer, hide and seek or catching with my friends. Some of us may have less energy to run as fast but will still continue to play. Laughing with our friends also help. For those of us who go to student care, lunch is provided there so we can wait till them. Many of us are very good at waiting. We will wait to come home to eat, where we can eat a lot. Taking care of our family members and ourselves Sometimes when our parents may scream in stress. This is when some of us turn to the radio and enjoy our favourite pop songs. Korean pop songs have a happy tune and makes our family happy and have energy especially when our parents work 12hour shifts. When our mama or papa is sad, we may play games with them. Some of us keep quiet when our parents are stressed so they will not be more stressed. Keeping quiet is an important power to have-we will give our parents space till they are ready to talk. We will also listen carefully to them. Some of us also try not to care about the problems that Pocket Kering brings, and some of us have favourite corners in our homes to sleep, and we eat or play and not let Pocket Kering disturb them. So Pocket Kering, anger, sadness or stress seems smaller at those times. Some of our parents try to put these feelings aside and smile when we step home. Our parents try not to share their problems with us, so that the feelings will not affect us. Some of our parents at times have to work 2 jobs so that we can eat. Our parents also try to keep quiet when things are bad so that they will not vent the emotions in the home. Some of us help around to do housework, like sweep the floor or wash the dishes. Some of us also have learnt to share their emotions with others – they spend time talking to their children and sometimes find solutions to their problems at those times. One of us learnt this from her who grandmother always told her to talk to her about everything and not keep things inside. A few of us also massage our parents when they are stressed or tired. We learnt this from our parents who learnt it from their own parents who did it to help them to relax. Hugging also works well. Sharing As brothers and sisters, we often share with each other. Sometimes we will give our siblings money when they need it. Some of us also surprises each other with little gifts. Another mother shared that it is difficult for people to tell our problems to others, and some of us don’t show it to others that we are upset. Instead, she listens


to our friends’ problems and help them to solve their problems. She feels that there is no point in showing others that you are moody and it affects people. She makes sure that she enjoys herself when she is out and at home, she starts thinking about her problems and how to solve them. Many of us have good relationships with our neighbors and share things with them and play together. Difficult times that Pocket Kering brings makes us share with each other. Taking care of our money Many of us take care of our money. We feel that we don’t want to waste money. When we don’t have food, the money can be used to buy drink and eat, especially when Pocket Kering comes to disturb us. Many of us have a tabung, and we will save money by not using all our pocket money-Sometimes we drink, and other times eat. Sometimes we don’t eat anything until we reach home. It’s a bit like fasting and when we reach home, we eat a lot. We sometimes also save the money that others gift to us. One of us has saved up a whole tabung! This made my mother very surprised. Our grandparents and parents buy these tabungs for us so that can learnt to save. Many of our parents also try to save. One of our mothers said, it’s not important to count it as we put it in, just save some every day. Some of us get tabungs that cannot be opened from the bottom. One of us will not bring our pocket money to school, and just use the coupon. He also gave his Hari Raya money to his mother to keep. He lets them use it for the cooking when they have no money. Our tabungs are usually kept safely in our wardrobes. Many of us share the money that we save with our parents when Pocket Kering is big. We this that this is ok because our parents have taken care of us since we were born, and this money is for our well-being. We cannot afford to eat fast food regularly and mostly eat at home. One of us says that sometimes she tells us that if she wants to eat fast food, for the next few days her family will eat very simple meals of Maggie mee. Sometimes we save money during recess time so that we can buy icecream after school. Independence Many of us have siblings, and we will play with each other, have our own competitions and play independently when our parents are doing other things or not at home. We have resourcefulness that helps us in hard times. Playing games, tickling, laughing, teasing and telling jokes One of us shared that in hard times, our mom will tickle our legs, and she will play with her sister or make rubber band bracelets. Many of always tease each other,


tell lame joke and annoy our sisters, this keeps the mood light at home. Some of us enjoy to watch videos on YouTube to take care of ourselves. One of us is very good at shaking his backside to make his family laugh when they are sad or stressed. We also enjoy playing tricks on each other. Many of us learnt to laugh and take it easy from our parents. Many of us try to take it easy – when you keep on thinking, your head can explode. One of our parents shared that she was admitted into the hospital for hypertension. We learnt to do what we can during birthdays, and we make cards for and save to buy small gifts for our family. We just have to tahan We learn how to tahan from our parents who have Hope, and they trust that things will get better. We tell ourselves that we need to keep strong. Most of us live in public rental housing. Some of or parents holds on to their dreams to purchase a new house. We hope that our mothers and fathers can be more relaxed (less tired) because we love them and want them to be happy not sad. When one of us lost most of his friends because of Pocket Kering, he started to focus on our classes instead of playing. But he learnt that despite Pocket Kering disturbing him, he has a close relationship with another boy. He will have recess and enjoys breakfast with him (pocket Kering made breakfast at home difficult). Past difficult experiences teach us to be strong Many of our parents experienced difficult times in the past. For some of us parents, divorce was very difficult. Some of us went through a cloud of depression, where we may talk to ourselves, laugh, and scold ourselves. Many of us at one point of time, decided that we need to break the cycle, to change. Some of us learnt to mix around with others. Divorce can be unexpected, as we usually think and hope that it will work out. One of us had a poor relationship with her caregiver. Caregivers sometimes scold us, and ruin our emotions. She is very aware of this, and this makes her despite her being upset herself, it is her mission that she will always cheer others up, to make them smile or be their listening ears. A few mothers also shared how divorce gave them something new, “It made me discover that I am actually very strong, I don’t think without it I will know that I can raise my 2 kids by myself, and juggle everything.” Many of us does not receive maintenance. Our lives can be very messy. Often, these strength to deal with our situations is a gift from God.


Hope One of our mothers wants to continue to study and find opportunities to upgrade herself. She hopes to do so that she can get a job that is office hours so that she can stay with her children. But it is difficult to study when we need to work for daily expenses. Another of us can’t work because her work visa is always rejected, so she volunteers at a local grassroots agency where she learns many new things. She hopes to get a job at the nearby hotel as soon as she gets her work visa. Faith to tahan hard times Some of our parents believe God gives you obstacles because he is trying to tell you that he loves you. He’s trying to tell you that you have a special power so he will give you this obstacle. They believe that something will be waiting for us, so some parents of us meditate, use praying water and pray and trust in God to give us to find the way. There are some songs that reminds us to be strong. For one of our mothers, it is Rascal Flatt’s My Wish, with the words “I hope that my worries stay small and my hopes stay big...” She heard it when she was going through the divorce process. One of us shared that Ciara’s like a boy encouraged her during hard times in her marriage to be independent as a single mother raising her 3 children. “Andai Ku Tahu” is another song that reminds a family to make full use of what they have now and not regret when they move on. Some of us also believe that these difficulties are something we must go through and face. Some of us have people who we look up to and help us stay strong in hard times. These people are the Prophet Mohammad who teaches us how to live our lives and focus on our family, and Tun Abdul Razak who teaches us hard work and humility.

Appendix E: Community Responses

Boon Huat - A counsellor I was here playing with the children, and was very impressed with the children, even though Pocket Kering disturbing them so much, their smiles, their very free spirit when they teach me how to play the games and make the dream weaver and toy cars. They have special abilities to do that. They are wonderful. The image I have in mind is wild grass that grows on very tough


terrain. It speaks of their abilities to survive under very difficult situation, scorching sun and very dry weather. Many of us would have withered under those circumstances. But they were to overcome those circumstances. It reminds me of the times when my family had little. It brings back memories of me eating plain porridge and soya sauce and ikan billis (poor man’s food during those time). Thank you for reminding where I came from so that I can remind myself to emphasize with those who have little. It brings me down to earth and reminds me of my own ‘have little’ story. Keeps me in check to not forget the poor. Reinforce my resolve to continue helping the poor and those in disadvantaged position.

Jiaying - A Social worker at TP FSC Hearing the children’s voices captured my attention as they shared their stories. Hearing about their ways of living with Pocket Kering for e.g. drinking water and sleeping to distract themselves from feeling hungry, and telling jokes, just showed me how creative they are. Witnessing the children’s efforts and hearing from them have occurred to me that the families are committed to face Pocket Kering together in unity and with hopes for better financial situations. I have personal experience and struggles of Pocket Kering. The struggles were huge and that resonated with my yearnings to have more powers than Pocket Kering. I think in my capacity as a social worker, I will not just want to talk to the parents, the caregivers of the family, but I think that the children’s voice, we ought to give them the respect and to honor their voice, to hear how are they coping, and managing together with their parents. I think that Pocket Kering is real to children and families across all ages. So Pocket Kering is no longer an adult problem, it could be the children’s problem.


Lanny - A counselor working with families in Jurong, and some of which have moms who moved here from overseas When I was listening, the word “tahan” really stood out for me because I think it is really may not easy for children to especially when there is a need, or when you look at people around having something, and that is something I thought, wow - the children have the ability to tahan, I’m just curious how I can tap these from the parents about how they are able to persevere on. This reminded me of many under privilege population in my home country. They are often seems to be invisible, no one pay attention & listen to their struggle trying to make ends meet. No one notice their internal resources, that become their skills to resist the challenges that they are facing : courage, and persistence to stay afloat. They hang on to the hope and dream that all of us have – to be able to live comfortable live, and be a good citizen to contribute to the society. They value family relationship, unconditional love that help to build internal resources to press on. That comes from how I reflect about myself, about when did I have these situations when I had to tahan a lot of things. Having the privilege live comfortable life, I need to be intentionally provide bigger space and time when I work with marginalize population, to listen to their hidden stories. Stories that sustain their live, value, and dreams that they have.

Esther Yu, A social worker in Sengkang I’m impressed and grateful to be here listening to the real and genuine stories of how the children cope with Pocket Kering. One thing that struck me was that Pocket Kering monster can be so “big” but yet families have found creative ways to cope with it. The expressions evoke images and the reality of how widespread the influence Pocket Kering has on people’s lives, yet how we respond similarly and differently in coping with it. It suggests that the continual hope that families have as each find


their own unique ways and build their resilience to fight against it. It brings me back to my own clinical work and questions how much I have been listening to the voices and stories of the clients whom I have met who also have struggles with Pocket Kering. I am touched and encouraged by the experience of hearing their stories, it has allowed me to increase my faith in the resilience of the families. Thank you families @ TPFSC for being so open, genuine and embracing :)

Fareez - A father, and social worker at Ang Mo Kio Even though Pocket Kering can get very scary, but I can still hear that the children and families are still keep money in the tabung, for me it’s makes us think about how I spend money, even when times are hard to find ways to save money. That is something important to me so when Pocket Kering comes to disturb me, maybe I can also save some money.These things resonated with me because I used to struggle a lot with Pocket Kering when I was young; I know how difficult it was to save, so it takes tremendous bravery and courage to be able to save for the future. It makes me realize how I want to teach this bravery against Pocket Kering for my son, and not forgetting how my past has shaped who I am. When you spoke about spending time with the children, I think that really struck out to me, even though Pocket Kering comes and bothers the whole family, but you still find so much time to spend with your kids. I thought that that was very meaningful. I think for all the parents here, your children are very important because even when the children were struggling to say the words (in the skit), I think I hear some of the parents cheering the kids on which I thought although there are so many stuggles we are facing, we can still put our children the first priority, which strikes out to me as an important value they have.


Rosilah - A parent from the League I think what is important for us parents is that although we are tired but we try our best to spend time with our children although the stress level is high especially being single parents, we try to give our best for our children. I want the children to know that although we can’t give you the amount of money to spend on things, but we try to be there for you for you. That’s why today I’m here sacrificing my Sunday to spend time with you kids.


Chapter 1 1 Inviting the Preferred Stories in the Supervision Context

by Sharon Sng

Introduction Supervisees often bring their dilemmas about the clinical work to supervision and the conversations are often about the possible clinical interventions to consider. I think it is important to attend to the “how-to” in the supervisory conversations as well as to connect their therapeutic actions with their preferred self-identity, which consists of their commitments/ hopes/ dreams and values. In this paper, I offer some of my supervisory conversations that brings forward the supervisees’ skills and knowledges as well as links supervisees’ therapeutic actions to their preferred self-identity using the various “maps of narrative practice” (White, 2007). I also offer some examples of the use of narrative ideas, with supervisees who might not familiar with narrative practice, by being collaborative and respectful in the supervisory process. I will illustrate the importance of slowing down and unpacking the supervisee’s intentions so that the preferred self and ways of working with their clients is made visible. This paper also considers the importance of supervision conversations that not only centers the supervisees but also their work contexts. In Singapore, most supervisees often work in agencies where the work with the client involves attending to many practical issues, yet it is possible to apply narrative ideas to connect practical actions taken in the agency to the supervisee’s self-agency and stories of themselves as a professional.

Position to adopt as a supervisor: Decentered but influential position Keeping a ‘decentered but influential position’ (White, 2006; 2007) helps the supervisor to position the client and the supervisee at the center of our conversation. This position acts like a compass that guides the supervisor despite the many different directions that the supervision conversation might take. It points the supervisor to look for ways to honor the self-agency of people by staying close to the client’s and


supervisees’ stories: their experience of problems, their particular knowledge and skills in responding to the problems. We would also join with supervisees through a collaborative dialogue, using the following questions, to help them reflect on their ideas and practices before they decide on what to offer that might be important to the client:

• If your clients were listening to our supervision conversation, what would they want us to address that is most important to them? • What would the client want us to identify in their story as they respond to difficult situations in their lives? • What do you think the client’s responses express in terms of values, commitments, and purposes in life that is important to them? • What might the client’s actions offer in terms of the possibilities in client’s preferred identity and hopes for future actions?

Being decentered but influential does not mean we reduce our interactions with our supervisees or downplay supervisor’s experience and knowledge (Fredman, 2014). Rather it does mean that our contributions should not be for our own gain. As supervisors, we should not lead a conversation on what is important or of greatest interest to me. Even when I use narrative ideas in supervision, we need to regularly check-in with the supervisee, “Is this an important/ useful direction to take in our conversation?” or we could also look out for non-verbal cues like glazed looks then check with the supervisee, “How does this fit for you?” or “What does what we are talking about mean to you?” It is important to balance the supervisory conversations between the focus on the client’s issues and the supervisee’s issues (Behan, 2003). It helps to stay close to the supervisee’s experience of the therapeutic conversation yet at the same time, to stay close to the client’s experience of his/ her issues and the therapeutic process. Some useful questions to help balance the focus on the supervisee’s practice and the client’s issues are: • “How is the conversation fitting or not fitting with you? How does it resonate with you?” • “What is standing out to you/ client? In what ways are these discoveries an unexpected surprise or strengthening of the known-and-familiar in the client and yourself?” • “What would you imagine the client say about the shifts in your position to his/her Problem?”


• “What have you realized you appreciate about the client’s efforts to stand up to the Problem? • “What do you appreciate about the contributions from your work in the client’s life?” • “How do these realization and appreciation lead to in terms of possibilities in the client’s life and your work with the client?”

Externalising conversation: “The person is not the problem, the problem is the problem” (White, 2007, pg.9) Oftentimes, the supervisees bring a problem-saturated story of their clients and they might have reached a thin conclusion of their clients as “difficult”, their work with the client as “going nowhere” or even their self-identity as a professional as being “not-good-enough”. These dominant ideas could restrict the supervisee’s work and limit the alternative positions to adopt in one’s work (Lee & Littlejohns, 2007). A way to address these problematic dominant stories is to view the problem as the problem and this helps to avoid locating the problem in the person: be it the supervisee or the client (White, 1988; 1989; 2006). Externalising conversations is a way to separate the problems from people. As the problem is not located internally, we can objectify the problem and explore more of the person’s efforts to stand up to the problem. Sometimes, I have externalising conversations with my supervisees so that their dilemmas, whether it is their view of self or their client, can be situated outside of the person and their identity (Morgan, 2000; Lee & Littlejohns, 2007). This offers a different position to the problem and as a result a difficult problem can change its meanings, inviting a transformation of the supervisee or the client from being passive (victim) to active (agent) so that the narrative can expand (Lee & Littlejohns, 2007). Below is an excerpt of an externalising conversation with a supervisee who was concerned that the family was not open to her professional help in addressing violence in the home. I mapped out the family’s naming of the problem, effects of the problem, evaluate the effects of the problem (whether it is helpful or not helpful) and justify the evaluation of the effects of the problem (why it is not okay to have the problem and the hopes for one’s life aside from the problem): Sharon (supervisor): Sounds like the family is resistant to the idea of naming the problem as ‘violence’, would you say so? What would they be more open to name the problem as? (Checking on family’s naming of the problem)


Anna (supervisee): Temper. Sharon: Would daughter also name this problem as temper? (Checking on daughter’s naming of the problem as it is possible to have different naming of the problem in the family) Anna: Yes. Sharon: After it was named as ‘Temper’, what did the family talk about in terms of what ‘Temper’ did to them? (Mapping the effects of the problem) Anna: They (parents) were scared and their way of dealing with it is to avoid and submit to ‘Temper’. Sharon: What is the effect of ‘Temper’ on her? (Mapping the effects of problem on daughter as it has a different effect) Anna: Daughter would see that she is always scolding her parents and the parents will minimize contact with her. Sharon: So the feelings of being scared and avoiding is more with parents, how about the daughter? (Mapping the effects of problem on daughter) Anna: She feels sad and undervalued. Sharon: Do they want these effects or not? (Evaluating the effects of the problem: inviting a person to take a position to the problem) Anna: No, they don’t want but they think they can manage on their own. Sharon: What are their ideas on managing ‘Temper” so that it does not come uninvited again? (Justifying the evaluation of the effects of the problem: beginning to speak of hopes, intentions and resources) Anna: Walk away, getting involved in work and arranging for day care. Sharon: What do you think they value that may be different from what ‘Temper’ wants for them? (Justifying the evaluation of the effects of the problem: beginning to speak of values, beliefs, principles and purposes) Anna: Peace and being able to get along with one another. The externalising conversation shows that Anna was able to reconsider the importance of listening to her client’s naming of the problem, to recognize her client’s efforts to deal with the problem and to articulate her client’s hopes. This


way of working helps the supervisee not to experience self-blame or even otherblame, rather to focus on the client’s hopes and to invite changes from within as well as generate creative solutions to address the problem (Freeman, Epston & Lobovits, 1997). This externalizing conversation also shows the importance of mutual influence between parents and children not just in terms of the problem but also of joint hopes. Hence, externalizing not only regards ‘the person is not the problem, the problem is the problem’ but that ‘the solution is relational’ too (White, 1988/ 89; Denborough, 2008). When supervisees expressed intense feelings such as frustration, desperation, hopelessness, or doubt, it is easy to label one another as being ‘resistant’. Externalising conversations helps to reduce the effects of labeling, pathologising and diagnosing. It reduces blame and guilt yet creates room for a person’s selfagency and responsibility to take action against the problem. When the problem is seen as an independent entity, a person might respond to it in a more creative and productive way since the problem is not seen as an identity or ‘truth’ of a person (Morgan, 2000). It is important to note that externalization is more “an attitude and orientation in conversations, not simply a technique or skill” (Morgan, 2000, pg. 17). It is more a way of looking at problems that invites changes in perspectives of the issues and differences in speaking with people that separates problems from people. If used as a technique, it might make people feel like you are minimizing their problems. It is important to listen to the supervisee’s story and their experience of the Problem (their relationship to the situation with their client), and not impose what I think I know. Externalising conversations could lead into re-authoring conversations as it allows one to explore what these feelings speak of that is important to the person: the hopes/ commitments/ beliefs that are ‘absent but implicit’ in the problem stories.

Re-authoring: Co-authoring multistoried lives and preferred identities Stories are critical in the narrative ways of working. Stories consist of events linked in sequence across time according to a plot (Morgan, 2000; White, 2007). The re-authoring conversation map consists of the ‘landscape of action’ questions and the ‘landscape of identity’ of the preferred story (Bruner, 1986, Epston & White, 1990, White 1995). Supervisees have many stories about their lives and relationships, all occurring simultaneously. There will be some stories that are more dominant than others, depending on the meaning that is ascribed by the supervisees. The supervisor


looks out for any unique outcome or moment that that might differ from the problematic dominant story-line. The re-authoring conversation can zigzag between ‘landscape of action questions’ and ‘landscape of identity questions’ (Russell & Carey, 2004) to develop an alternative story-line. We assume that the supervisee’s actions and identity stretches from distant history to future so we ask questions about identity and actions taken around the context of time (see diagram below). Re-authoring conversation: Zig-zag between landscape of identity and landscape of action across time (White, 2007) LANDSCAPE OF IDENTITY What’s possible to know but yet realized

LANDSCAPE OF ACTIONS Known and familiar

Distant History

Recent History

• • • • • • •

Present

Principles Dream/ hopes Commitments Values Purposes Intentions What’s Important

Future

In supervisory conversation, I try to notice gaps in the dominant story, a small action that might stand outside the problem-story, to retrieve and thicken more alternative and preferred stories of the supervisee’s professional self (Clifton et al., 1990). Below is an excerpt of my conversation with a supervisee to understand the context of her work in the agency (landscape of actions questions) and move it to the worker’s commitments, purposes, beliefs, intentions and hopes (landscape of identity questions): Sharon (supervisor): So during the festive period, what enables the parents to see their kids? (exploring landscape of actions)


Nat (supervisee): During the festive period, they want the kids back and we encourage parents to bring their kids out too. Sometimes when the kids are in the Home, it gives the parents to work on their issues and they feel like they want the kids now... Sharon: When you hear the stories that it helps both parent and kids, how does that influence your work with them? (exploring landscape of actions) Nat: Work more closely with the families, to encourage them to come forward and sometimes I will ‘scold’ them to visit or call their kids. We tell them staying in the Home is not the best. Sharon: What informs you that staying in the children’s home is not the best? (exploring landscape of identity) Nat: It is not the child’s home, it is a community setting. All the kids want to go home. They feel that they are punished for something they did not do. All their physical needs are met but they miss the bond with parents. Sharon: What do you think staying in the home does to family bonds? (exploring landscape of action) Nat: It reminds me of a boy who keeps asking to go home. He yearns to go home. Sharon: When you hear him, what does that do to your belief that the home is the best and your actions that you take with the family? (exploring landscape of identity) Nat: It makes me want to work more with mom. Sharon: What do you think helped to grow that knowledge and desire to have her children be with her? (exploring landscape of action: thickening client’s unique outcome) Nat: She has a stable job and relationship with her partner. Things are looking up for her and she is more positive. Most of the time she vents to me about her frustration and she trusts me enough to tell me what is going on. She is also more forthcoming and she is trying to bring kids out. There are many stories that are not easily accessible and visible until the supervisor intentionally explores the alternative stories with supervisees and their clients. Nat initially had talked about the difficulties in getting the parents to take their children back for home leave. It was useful to make visible the intentions of


her actions and explore the values that guided her responses in dealing with the difficulties working in the system. The re-authoring process also helped to link the supervisee’s unique outcome (worker’s action and commitment to ensure children return for home leave) to the client’s unique outcome (success in getting child back home for home leave). These sort of explorations in relation to therapeutic actions and the worker’s commitments can contribute significantly to one’s work and life. It can also open spaces of connection and re-connection to preferred stories and identity. Hence, there is a mutual influence in re-authoring stories of people’s lives (Russell & Carey, 2004). This process of co-authoring can counter the isolating and separating effects of problems on people. An important to note as we co-author the unique outcome, is that it has to have significance and meaning to the supervisee. It is dependent on the supervisor’s evaluation that a certain event is a unique outcome. It would be helpful to check-in with the supervisor if an event surprised/ stood out to them. We can invite them to consider what is important in an event rather than be over-enthusiastic and point out the positives in a unique outcome. This helps the supervisor to remain decentered.

Re-membering: Populating the preferred stories Re-membering1 conversations play an important part of the re-authoring process. It rests on the idea that a person’s life is a club with members (White, 1997; Morgan, 2000). This re-membering conversation helps me to keep noticing the influence of people in the lives of the supervisees’ skills, knowledges and indentity. This allows the supervisees to consider the significant relationships of their lives that could add to the supervisee’s identity and alternative story. The beliefs, commitments, preferences and ways of living in a supervisee do not occur in a vacuum, it has been shaped by a person’s history and relationships with others and with the world. As the values/ beliefs/ hopes are more richly described and honored, people are more joined in their efforts to deal with the problem. People feel less alone if they know a choice is backed by a community, rather than on their own. It helps people feel supported and appreciated during times of difficult work. Some possible questions in re-membering practices are (Russell & Carey, 2004): • “Who might not be surprised that you are speaking in such a way about what is important to you?” (naming a significant figure) 1 The term ‘re-membering’ was coined by Barbara Myerhoff (1982). It was introduced into the therapy world by Michael White (1997).


• “What is it about you that they have witnessed and how does this show them this value/ belief/ commitment is important to you?” (person’s identity through figure’s eyes) • “What do you imagine it might mean to them to notice it?” (person’s contribution to figure’s life) • “How do you think it may contribute to their life?” (implications for figure’s identity)

Below is an excerpt of my conversation with a supervisee where I scaffolded questions and moved from her difficulties working with different members in the system (landscape of action) to the commitments, purposes, beliefs, intentions and purposes (landscape of identity). I also adapted some of the possible re-membering questions listed above with a supervisee to help her take a self- and relational reflexive position to connect her actions, commitments and values to the significant people in her life (Burnham, 2005): Sharon (supervisor): How does working with the different parties in the system help you or not with your work? (landscape of action) Nat (supervisee): I work closely with them and we put forth our recommendation... Sometimes the decision is no home leave. Sharon: How does that affect your work with the family and children? (landscape of action) Nat: The kids yearn to go home. I cannot say the officer said they cannot go but I tell them to wait a few months. Sharon: What is it like to hold the children’s yearning? (landscape of identity) Nat: It puts me in a tight spot. Sharon: What do you do when you are in a tight spot? (landscape of action) Nat: Advocate and explore options. Sharon: How do you feel about being the advocate and the voice of the kids to the external agency? How does it fit with you? (landscape of identity) Nat: Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t. Sharon: Do you know what helps it to work? (landscape of action) Nat: I believe that if you are sincere and continue to work hard daily with the


kids, the kids will know and appreciate. Sharon: What do you try to get them (external agency) to consider for the children, put them in the shoes of the children? (landscape of action) Nat: I will tell them about the children’s progress. Sharon: If you look at your abilities, what do you think you have to make this happen? Are you persuasive? You mention sincerity. Anything else that helps with advocating for the kids? (landscape of identity) Nat: Honesty. Not making promises before I check with the relevant agencies. Sharon: When you practice honesty, how does that help them to work with you and your work with them? (landscape of action) Nat: The kids can trust you, as you are dependable and reliable. Sharon: These unique abilities that you have, being “honest”, “sincere”, “realistic”, have they always been there or when you work in this agency? (landscape of identity across time) Nat: Don’t know; guess they have always been there. Sharon: Would your family and friends not be surprised? (naming a significant figure) Nat: They will not be surprised. Sharon: So there are situations outside of work where you practice this. What would the other workers’ comment about how you work? (person’s identity through figure’s eyes) Nat: I am very “kiasu” (afraid to loose out). I finish my work on time. Sharon: What do you do that helps to stay on top of things and not have back log? (landscape of action) Nat: I don’t have work pending and I try to stay focused. I am not saying that most of the time I keep to the timeline, sometimes I do not. I also write down what I need to do. Sharon: Have you share these ideas with your colleague? What do they think about your ideas and actions? (person’s contribution to figure’s life/ implications for figure’s life)


Nat: They think that maybe they should also stay back (laughs). This conversation brings forth and thickens stories of Nat’s preferred role and practice in her agency as well as the stories of her professional identity. Even though Nat’s work can be challenging working in a system, enquiring about her practice in action (e.g. “honesty, sincere and realistic”) helped moved the conversation to remember alternative stories, beyond solving problems for her clients, to people who might affirm and support her values and actions. Articulating a new story helps Nat strengthen her efforts in living out her self-identity and it offers new possibilities for relationships with her clients and colleagues in the future (Freedman & Combs, 1996).

Outsider Witness: An audience for the preferred stories Outsider witness provides a context for rich story development, for telling and performance of preferred stories. It also enables these preferred stories to be authenticated by an audience and a person’s preferred identity claims are acknowledged. A supervisee’s identity is formed in relationships with others and it is a multi-voiced sense of identity. When there is effort to author alternative stories about their work and identity, the witnesses can provide a powerful acknowledgement and authentication for the steps taken, skills and knowledges, intentions and hopes, and links between lives of all around shared themes (Russell & Carey, 2004). In the supervision context, the outsider witnesses are usually the reflecting staff team or even the supervisor himself/ herself. As outsider witnesses, it is important to listen carefully, take great care in locating our words in their own experiences, not to advise or interpret as a fellow professional. It also does not help to compare reflections and get carried away in telling own story. Some questions for the outsider witness to consider when listening to the supervisory conversation are as follows (Narrative Therapy Partnership, 2006): The expression • As you listened to the supervisory conversation, what did you hear that stood out for you, or that struck a chord with you, or that you were drawn to? • What were the particular words or expressions that caught your attention? The image • What did the story suggest to you about what might be important to the


supervisee, or what he/ she stands for in life? • What image did this evoke for you?

Resonance • You have spoken about what stood out for you in hearing the supervisory conversation. What is it about your own life/ work that has you being drawn to these expressions? Transport • Where do you think this conversation has taken you? • What might be more possible as a result of hearing the supervisee’s story? • What aspects of the supervisee would you like to stay with you? After the outsider witness had a re-telling of the supervisee’s telling, the supervisor could ask the supervisee the following questions so that the preferred stories of identity and actions are further strengthened:

• What ideas might you be bringing back? • How do these ideas invite you to think about your clients? • How do these ideas invite you to think yourself as a therapist? • In what ways do these ideas invite you to think about your therapeutic relationship with your clients? • What further ideas might you have for your own clinical work?

Conclusion The stories at the beginning of supervision conversation with our supervisees of their work and their client’s experience of therapy may be true but it is not complete (Adichie, 2009). I believe that our responsibility in supervision is to find ‘gaps’ in the story presented by the supervisee so that we can continue to build an alternative story that honors and affirms their identity and work. Although the article highlights the different maps of narrative ideas in a particular order, this by no means, indicates it has to be followed in that order. In fact, one can use the maps at different points in the supervisory conversation or use them in a creative way with supervisees, as long as it fits with the supervisee’s hopes for the supervision session. By joining and listening very carefully and respectfully, we could invite the supervisee on a journey of discovering alternative stories that undermine the


problem-saturated definition of themselves and their relationships (Freeman, Epston & Lobovits, 1997) using the different narrative maps. As we interview the supervisees’ alternative stories of hopes/ values/ beliefs/ commitments, the problem will have less a hold on the person. This will help the supervisee endeavor to be the best clinician he or she can be by drawing on the skills and abilities unique to that person. Indeed, problems can never totally dominate a person’s life and it is my hope that supervision can offer an invitation to a supervisee to co-author a preferred identity and story of one’s work.

References Adichie, C. (2009). The Danger of a Single Story. Retrieved from https://www.youtube.com/ watch?v=D9Ihs241zeg. Behan, C. (2003). Some Ground to Stand On: Narrative Supervision. Journal of Systemic Therapies. 22:4, pp.29-42. Bruner, J. (1986). Actual Minds, Possible Worlds. Massachusetts: Harvard University Press. Burnham, J. (2005). Relational Reflexivity: a tool for socially constructing therapeutic relationships. In “The Space Between: Experience, Context, and Process in the Therapeutic Relationship” C. Flaskas, B. Mason & A. Perlesz, London: Karnac Books Ltd. Denborough, D. (2008). Can we contribute to social action? In Collective Narrative Practice: Responding to individuals, groups, and communities who have experienced trauma. Adelaide, South Australia: Dulwich Centre Publications, pp. 191-196. Epston, D. & White, M. (1990). Narrative Means to Therapeutic Ends. New York: W.W. Norton. Freedman, J. & Combs, G. (1996). Narrative Therapy: The social construction of preferred realities. New York: W.W. Norton. Freeman, J., Epston, D. & Lobovits, D. (1997). Playful Approaches to Serious Problems: Narrative therapy with children and their families. Adelaide, South Australia: Dulwich Centre Publications. Fredman, G. (2014). Weaving net-works of hope with families, practitioners and communities: Inspirations from systemic and narrative approaches. The International Journal of Narrative Therapy and Community Work. 1: 34-44. Lee, L. & Littlejohns, S. (2007). Deconstructing Agnes- externalization in systemic supervision. Journal of Family Therapy. 29: pp.238-248. Morgan, A. (2000). What is Narrative Therapy? An easy-to-read introduction. Adelaide, Australia: Dulwich Centre Publications. Myerhoff, B. (1982). Life history among the elderly: Performance, visibility, and re-membering. In J. Ruby (Ed.), A crack in the mirror: Reflective perspectives in anthropology (pp.99117). Philadelphia: University of Pennsylvania Press.


Narrative Therapy Partnership (Adelaide, South Australia 2006): Shona Russell, Carolyn Markey, Sue Mann, Maggie Carey and Alice Morgan. Dulwich Centre Level One Intensive, Feb 2010. Russell, S. & Carey, M. (2004). Narrative Therapy: Responding to your questions. Adelaide, South Australia: Dulwich Centre Publications. White, M (1995). Re-Authoring Lives: Interviews and essays. Adelaide, South Australia: Dulwich Centre Publications. White, M. (1997). Narratives of Therapists’ Lives. Adelaide, South Australia: Dulwich Centre Publications. White, M. (1988/89). The Externalising of the Problem and the Re-Authoring of Lives and Relationships, Dulwich Centre Newsletter, summer: pp.5-28. White, M. (2006). Narrative practice with families and children: Externalising conversations revisited. In M. White & A. Morgan (Eds.), Narrative therapy with children and their families (pp.1-56). Adelaide, South Australia: Dulwich Centre Publications. White, M (2007). Maps of narrative practice. New York: W.W. Norton


Chapter 1 2 Evaluation and Research of Narrative Practices

by K Shantasaravanan & Mohamed Fareez

N

arrative approaches have frequently been criticised for having little empirical research as compared to more rigorous evidence based approaches such as cognitive behaviour therapy and motivational interviewing (Kelley, 2011). Etchison and Kleist (2000) conducted a research in the effectiveness of narrative therapy and discussed that the efficacy of narrative approaches with families may be deemed as uncertain given the small number of clinical studies that have been conducted. However, they had highlighted how narrative approaches to therapy have useful applications when working with a variety of family therapy issues. The case study approach has been predominantly utilised in various evaluative studies of narrative practices (McLuckie, 2005; Hannen & Woods, 2012; Kim, Prouty & Roberson, 2012; Garte-Wolf (2011). A multiple case analysis by Robertson, Venter & Botha (2005) on the life narratives of persons who identified themselves as depressed found that participants had described their realities with negative language. This suggests possible effectiveness for narrative approaches which focus on finding alternative stories to describe these experiences. Hannen & Woods’ evaluative case study with a young person who was self-harming had utilised various instruments to evaluate pre-test and post-test outcomes for a six session intervention of narrative therapy. Data gathered through instruments such as the Resiliency scales for children and adolescents (Prince-embury, 2006), parental reports, narrative assessment interviews (NAI, Hardkte and Angus, ) showed significant improvement in emotional well-being, This is with the exception of the Beck Youth Inventories Second Edition (BYI – II) which reflected a slight deterioration in depression, self-concept and anger. Two studies that used experimental-like methodologies (Vromans, and Schweitzer, 2009; Rabiee, Zadeh, & Bahrami, 2008), had also reflected positive outcomes for Narrative therapy. Vromans and Schweitzer (2009) conducted a single group pre and post-test design (and at 3 months follow up) on a 47 adults with a major depressive disorder, using the Beck’s Depression Inventory. Findings reflected clinically significant improvements in depressive symptoms, which were maintained in the three months


of follow-up. Rabiee et al (2008) employed a quasi-experimental design on the effects of narrative couple therapy, with a treatment and comparison group of 15 participants each. The Bloom’s family functioning questionnaire was administered on both groups before and after nine sessions of narrative couple therapy. Findings from the comparison studies reflected an improved family functions for couples who received intervention as compared to those who did not. Therapy had influenced all dimensions in the instrument, except for enmeshment and religious commitment. (O’Connor, Meakes, Pickering, & Schuman, 1997) used an ethnographic design directed by the question, “What is the family’s experience of narrative therapy?”. The authors concluded that the practice of narrative therapy provides an excellent context for the ideas and practices that empower personal agency in family members. In the context of community work, a qualitative report (Berthold, 2006) was conducted to evaluate the “Back from the Edge” project, a collaboration between Dulwich Centre and Relationships Australia Northern Territory. This project began in response to the high rates of suicides (and attempted suicides) made by young people from the Gunyangara and Yirrkala communities, using narrative ideas in community consultations, trainings, gatherings and collective documentation. The report, which collated feedback from community members who participated in the project, found that the project was effective in increasing confidence and selfesteem of community members in response to suicide. The report described the narrative approach as one that was respectful to the community, and engaging in its practices of collaborating with community leaders. Although there was a perceived dramatic drop in a number of suicides in the community, the study stated that it would not be feasible to measure whether this change was solely due to the project Although most studies yielded strong evidence on the effectiveness of narrative interventions, one limitation is the lack of studies utilising comparison groups who received a different mode of intervention. Hence, one may wonder whether Narrative interventions are able to hold up with other forms of intervention and therapy modalities. At the same time, it can be argued that the process of manualising and structuring of narrative interventions are not practices analogous to narrative ideas which focus on being decentred and experience-near when responding to the different perspectives and standpoints of the people who consult us. White & Epston (1990) have consistently held that narrative ideas represent an overall approach that embraces a particular worldview based on poststructuralist and social constructionist principles about our sense of reality, as well as concern over the social and political implications of such a worldview. The use of modernist empirical measures to make the analysis of effectiveness more “scientific” may also be anathema to the


postmodern view of social constructionism that belies the narrative approach. In spite of this, Neimeyer (1993) has argued that there are research methodologies that would be suitable in evaluating the outcomes for postmodern approaches through the use of qualitative inquiries such as the case study method, or transcript analysis. The practices in this publication describe the potential effectiveness of narrative ideas from the perspectives of the practitioner. It is hoped that future local Singaporean research endeavours are undertaken to further evaluate the utility of narrative ideas in Singapore.

References Berthold, S. (2006). Back from the Edge: Project Evaluation. Relationships Australia Norther Territory. Retrieved from http://www.dulwichcentre.com.au/back-from-the-edge-evaluation. pdf 7 July 2015. Etchison, M. & Kleist, D. (2000). Review of narrative therapy: Research and utility. The Family Journal: Counseling and Therapy for Couples and Families. Vol.8, No.1, 61-66. Garte-Wolf, S. I. (2011) Narrative Therapy Group Work for Chemically Dependent Clients with HIV/AIDS, Social Work With Groups, 34:3-4, 330-338, Hannen, E, & Woods, K. (2012) Narrative therapy with an adolescent who self-cuts: a case example. In Educational psychology in practice. Vol. 28, no 2, June 2012, 187 – 214. Kelley, P. (2011). Narrative theory and social work treatment. In Turner, F. J. ed. Social Work Treatment: Interlocking theoretical approaches. Fifth Edition. New York: Oxford University Press. McLuckie, A. (2005). Narrative Family Therapy for Paediatric Obsessive and Compulsive disorder Neimeyer, R. (1999) Narrative Strategies in Grief Therapy, Journal of Constructivist Psychology, 12:1, 65-85 Ngazimbi ,E. E., Lambie, G W. & Shillingford, M. A (2008) The Use of Narrative Therapy with Clients Diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder, Journal of Creativity in Mental Health, 3:2, 157-174, O’Connor, T., Davis, A., Meakes, E., Pickering, M., & Schuman, M. (2004). Narrative therapy using a reflecting team: An ethnographic study of therapists’ experiences. Contemporary Family Therapy. 26(1), 23-39. Rabiee, S., Zadeh, M. F., & Bahrami, F. (2008). The effect of narrative couple therapy on couples’ family functioning in Isfahan. Journal of Family Research, 4(2), 179–191. Robertson, A., Venter, C., & Botha, K. (2005). Narratives of depression. South African Journal of Psychology, 35, 331–345. Vromans, L. & Schweitzer, R. (2009) Narrative therapy for adults with major depressive disorder: Improved symptom and interpersonal outcomes. In Psychology Research, January 2011: 21 (1): 4-15

Narrative approaches, which originate from the ideas of Michael White and David Epston, seek to uncover and highlight preferred storylines that describe a wealth of hidden skills, abilities and knowledges. Re-experiencing the Rojak – Narrative Therapy and Community Work in Singapore serves as an introductory publication for Social Service Practitioners seeking to integrate Narrative ideas into their work. The Rojak, a salad dish that is analogous to Singapore’s multi-ethnic community, presents an apt metaphor of how Narrative therapy is already being incorporated or “mixed” into casework, counseling, group work, family therapy, and community work. Contributors to this publication include professionals from the fields of Social Work, Counseling and Family Therapy.

Narrative Therapy and Community Work in Singapore

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