Dhd Module 3

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TABLE OF CONTENTS

Secrets to Skyrocket your Lover’s Desire!

MODULE 3: YOUR LOVER UNLEASHED: HOT & STEAMY SEX FOR THE BEDROOM & BEYOND OUTSIDE THE BEDROOM ______________________________________________________________ 5

From the Moment You Wake Up

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Leave Her Some Loving Gestures

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Enlighten Her

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Restore Intimacy and Reconnect

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Play Hard to Get

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Why Intimacy is Important and How to Create It

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INSIDE THE BEDROOM _______________________________________________________________ 29

Foreplay: Her Appetizer, Main Course, and Dessert

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Erotic Massage

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Boobies!

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Other Important Tips

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Common Manly Mistakes

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Sexual Positions The Five Most Desired Sex Positions Oral Sex

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Ten Tips to Make Her Quiver

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Common Mistakes to Avoid

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A Quick Note About the Number “69”

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OVERCOMING PERFORMANCE PROBLEMS______________________________________________ 52

Penis Problems

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You Can’t Get It Up

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You Can’t Come

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You Come Too Soon

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KEEPING THINGS HOT AND STEAMY ___________________________________________________ 59

What’s Wonderful About Having Sex With the Same Partner?

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www.GabrielleMoore.com

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TABLE OF CONTENTS


What’s Not So Wonderful?

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Discover Her Hidden Zones

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Create the Mood

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Sensual Massage

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More Oral Sex

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Forever Explore and Try Out New Ideas

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CONCLUSION


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YOUR LOVER UNLEASHED: HOT & STEAMY SEX FOR THE BEDROOM & BEYOND 5


Now that you have a good understanding of just how your woman’s mind and body works, let’s get down to just what you can do to rev up her desire for sex. Let’s start by taking a look at where it all begins—outside the bedroom.

OUTSIDE THE BEDROOM

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ight now, as you read this, you already have a routine for just about everything you do in your day-to-day life. It begins from the moment you wake up. Perhaps your morning routine is rolling out of bed to an alarm, going pee, taking a shower, shaving, brushing your teeth, and getting dressed— all in that order. Or maybe you take a shower before going to bed so that you can simply roll out of bed in the morning, go pee, wash your hands and face, brush your teeth, shave and get dressed. No matter what your morning routine is, chances are you do the exact same thing each morning in the exact same order, with very little or no variation in your routine. Now, let’s do a little exercise together. Think about your morning routine on a morning when you are going to go to work. Picture every step of it clearly in your mind and in the same order you do it. There is no wrong or right routine. The point here is to just walk yourself through your morning routine in your mind, all the way up to when you take hold of the doorknob just before walking out of the house. Once you have hold of the doorknob, I want you to STOP. If you did this exercise correctly, you should be standing at your front door with your hand on the doorknob, ready to walk out of the house. Now, answer this very important question: From the moment you woke up to the moment you are about to walk out the front door, what did you do for your wife or girlfriend to show her that you love her and that she is special to you?

From the moment you woke up to the moment you are about to walk out the front door, what did you do for your wife or girlfriend to show her that you love her and that she is special to you?

If you are like most men, you probably did one of two things: (1) you gave your lady a routine hug and/or kiss goodbye, maybe even said, “Love you!” before you shuffled out the door, or (2) you got ready for work and left without saying or doing anything.


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Want to know which one is the right answer? Neither of them! Giving your woman a routine kiss or “I love you” is not much different than leaving without saying a word. Why? Because even if you are doing something similar to #1 above, it’s a routine! You’re capable of more than that and your woman deserves more!

The purpose of the above exercise is to get you to stop and think about what you do each and every day. Everyone has a routine. It starts the very moment we wake up and ends when we close our eyes to go to sleep at night. And just about everyone goes through their daily routines without much thought. But if you want to change or improve something in your relationship with your woman, especially something as important as her sexual desire, then you will need to stop going about your day on autopilot and interact with your lady on a daily basis with some true thought and purpose. Husbands who wish their wives would have sex with them more often typically think about what they aren’t getting from their wives. They can easily list off a number of things they wish their wives would do more of when it comes to sex. Some wish their wives would initiate sex more. Some wish for more oral sex. Some want their wives to talk dirty. While others will say they would be happy if their wives would have sex with them more than once a month. Complaining and wishing for this and that is easy. We all do it. But sitting around complaining and thinking about what you don’t have is not going to change a thing. In fact, it could actually make it worse. That’s because as you’re sitting their thinking about what you’re missing when it comes to your sex life with your significant other, you’re being selfish and thinking of only yourself. What about her? Chances are there are a few things she wishes you would do more often for her as well. Do you know what they are? If you read the previous section about the emotional needs of a woman and how her desire for sex works, then you should have a fairly good idea what your lady is not getting from you when it comes to your relationship. Being able to recognize this is very important, as this is the only way you will know how to go about improving things from your end. www.GabrielleMoore.com

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It all starts from the moment you wake up each day. If you start off the day on autopilot without much thought about your lady, then you’re starting the day off on the wrong foot. If you continue to go throughout your day on autopilot, all the way up to when you climb in bed, all without much thought or interaction with your lady, then you can expect to get the same “I’m not in the mood” answer when you approach her for sex.

Think about it. In all that you learned in the previous chapter about women, why should your woman want to have sex with you if all you’ve done that day is wake up, go to work, come home, eat, watch TV, and get ready for bed, with not much more than the routine kiss, hug, and/or “I love you” that you’ve been giving her day in and day out for as long as you can remember? Your relationship with your woman should not be a routine! You may know you love and desire your woman. But don’t YOU MAY KNOW YOU LOVE assume that she knows it. Just because you are living AND DESIRE YOUR WOMAN. together or married doesn’t mean she is supposed to know BUT DON’T ASSUME THAT that she is important to you. You have to show her each and SHE KNOWS IT. every day. And the way you show her can’t be the same day in and day out. Even if a man were to give his wife flowers and write her a love poem every single morning, he’d still end up losing his lady’s interest over time. That’s because no matter how wonderful it is in the beginning, the same old thing eventually becomes boring. If you want to increase your woman’s desire for sex, then you will have to step outside of your routine and mix things up a bit. In doing so, you will not only increase your woman’s desire, you will improve your relationship with your woman and have a lot of fun in the process! Are you ready? Let’s get to it, then. FROM THE MOMENT YOU WAKE UP It does not matter what time of day your day starts. Some men wake up in the morning and work throughout the day. Others sleep during the day and work at night. So when we talk about the various things you can do from the moment you wake up each day, know that we are talking more about the routine you go through before you leave the house to go to work. For many men, that’s in the morning, so that is how we’ll look at things for example sake. But if you don’t wake up to go to work until 7:00 p.m. at night, so be it. You still have a routine and you need to make sure you’re including your woman in it.


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If you are like most men, you probably don’t have your woman on your mind when you wake and begin the process of starting your day. Well, if you want to increase your woman’s desire for sex, then you’re going to have to change that.

Remember—your woman needs to feel connected with you emotionally and experience positive feelings about you for her to “want” to have sex. I emphasize the word “want” because that is what you are looking for. You are looking for her to want to have sex with you, not just agree to have sex with you out of guilt or because she knows that sex has been long overdue and it’s time for her to put out. That is not wanting sex, that is tolerating sex. And believe me when I tell you, there’s a huge difference between the two. When a woman wants sex, she will engage herself with passion. And that’s what you really want, because the more passionate she is, the hotter the sex will be! So when you begin your day, take some time to think about your woman. Ask yourself the question, “What can I do before I leave the house to show her I love her?” Now, you may think, “No problem. That’s easy!” But don’t be fooled. Changing a routine you’ve been doing day in and day out for years is not as easy as you might think. It may be easy tomorrow and the next day and the next day. But two weeks or a month from now, if you’re not careful, you could very easily slip right back into the same old routine as before.

“What can I do before I leave the house to show her I love her?”

To avoid sliding back into your old routine over time, be sure to write down some notes for yourself. It could be a simple yellow sticky note that you place on the back of the medicine cabinet you open each morning. Or perhaps it can be an alarm set on your cell phone as a reminder each morning before you leave. If you are in the habit of checking your email before leaving for work, then send yourself an email the night before with a reminder or set up the backdrop of your computer screen with a picture of your lady or the words “Don’t Forget!” As a backup, you can leave an additional note for yourself on the coffee pot, front door, or on the dash of your car. The most important part of the reminder note that you leave for yourself is that your lady does not know what it’s for if she sees it. So don’t make the mistake of writing, “Remember to think about my wife,” on the note. If you do and you’re wife sees it, you can bet your last dollar that it won’t be long before her not-sohappy self is in your face asking, “You have to remind yourself to think about me? www.GabrielleMoore.com

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What is wrong with you?!” So avoid writing anything like that on your note.


Instead, write something in code that you will easily remember. Simply writing the letter “R” on the note for the word “Remember” should be effective enough. That way if your wife sees it and asks you about it, you can simply tell her it’s just a reminder for something you need to do before leaving for work or once you get to work. Of course, you’ll have to think up an excuse for what that something is, but I’ll leave that up to you. Just remember that woman intuition. If you think there’s any chance you’ll have to answer to your lady about your reminder note, make sure whatever you tell her will pass her radar! Now that you have your reminder strategy in place, let’s get to the fun part, which is what you can do for your lady before you leave for work each day. And believe me, the things you do can be a lot of fun, especially if you use some creativity in your tactics.

Look at yourself as a secret agent on a covert assignment. Your mission: to locate your lady’s sex drive and reprogram it for optimum sexual performance!

If it feels awkward to you, that’s okay; it’s perfectly normal to feel that way. Anything new you do can feel a bit weird at first, but if you stick with it, those awkward feelings will pass. The key is to look at this as a way of setting the stage without your woman ever knowing what you’re up to. Look at yourself as a secret agent on a covert assignment. Your mission: to locate your lady’s sex drive and reprogram it for optimum sexual performance! LEAVE HER SOME LOVING GESTURES Before you begin, there are some things you are going to need. If you don’t have these things on hand, then either buy them or do your best to improvise: • Lots of small colored sticky notes in a variety of colors (you’re going to need them from here on out!) • Red pen or marker • Regular pencil and/or pen • A variety of greeting cards • Small, inexpensive gifts (browse your local 99-cent store or Walmart) • Small candies (either chocolate kisses, mints, hard candy, or whatever she likes)


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YOUR LOVER UNLEASHED: HOT & STEAMY SEX FOR THE BEDROOM & BEYOND

What you do for your lady before you leave for work each day depends on whether or not she is home or not. Let’s start with some things you can do if your lady when she is home and still in bed.

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So you’ve rolled out of bed and are going about your routine to get ready for work. Perhaps it’s very early and your lady is still in bed asleep. This is a great opportunity for you to begin your strategic sex plan. The following are some ideas on what you can do for your lady to let her know she’s on your mind and how special she is to you. Whether you choose one of these ideas or one of your own, the important thing to remember is to do only one thing each morning and to avoid doing the same thing over and over again. The more you mix it up, the better. • Leave her a sticky note on the bathroom mirror that says, “Like every day, you’ll be on my mind today. I love you very much, [her name]!” Adding her name to the note is very important. It adds the necessary personal touch that will surely touch her heart, which, as you know, is right where her big red button of sexual desire is located. • If she drinks coffee or tea in the morning when she gets up, set out her favorite cup for her, along with a napkin and a spoon. If she uses cream or sugar, set that next to the cup. Next, draw a heart on a small stick note and place it in the cup. • If you have flowers in your yard, or even in a next door neighbor’s yard, pick one for your lady before you leave for work and place it somewhere you know she’ll find it when she wakes. You can leave it on your pillow, on the bathroom counter, or in a small vase on the kitchen counter. If she works from home, place it on her desk or computer. Along with the flower, place a sticky note next to it with either a heart drawn on it or a simple note that says, “For my beautiful lady.” • If you make yourself breakfast before you leave (and even if you don’t), take time to make your lady something too. www.GabrielleMoore.com

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• Store it in a microwaveable container or place it on a plate covered in saran wrap. Leave her a note on the microwave, coffee pot or fridge that says, “There’s some breakfast for you in the fridge, made with love.” Be sure not to leave a bowl of cereal or anything else that will get soggy if left sitting for too long. Things like cut up fruit and yogurt, a bagel with cream cheese or jelly, a breakfast sandwich with egg and bacon, and pancakes are great breakfast items that can be easily stored and/or reheated.

• Look around the kitchen or house for anything you can quickly clean or put away for your lady. If there are some dirty dishes in the sink, take time to clean them. If there are clean dishes in the dishwasher, put them away for her. If there are toys lying around, pick them up. Whatever you do, be sure to do it quietly. Also try to do something that you know she will notice. If you clean the dishes, leave a sticky note with a heart on it on the faucet. If you put the dishes away, leave the sticky note in the dish rack or on the dishwasher door. • Leave a piece of candy, like a chocolate kiss, on top of a small sticky note that says, “This kiss will have to do until I get home.” • Leave her a simple greeting card. Inside, write a special note or simply draw a heart and sign your name. Leave the card by her bathroom sink, on your pillow, next to the coffee pot, or somewhere else where you know she will see it not long after she gets up. • Find a picture of the two of you from the past; either from when you first met and fell in love or from a special trip or event you attended together. The picture should be of the two of you together when things were still fresh and new or during a time when things were still hot and steamy between you. It should not be something that is already on display in your house. It should be something she has not seen in awhile or a picture she would not expect you to show any concern over. Include the picture inside a greeting card or put it in a special frame. Include a note that says, “Hard to believe I could love you more than I did back then…but I do.” • Find a picture of your lady that you really like or that really shows that special quality about her that makes her beautiful. Place the picture in an envelope and place it somewhere she’ll find it. If it’s an older picture from years ago, include a note with it that says, “You’re just as beautiful now as you were back then. I am such a lucky man!” If it’s a recent


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picture, write a note that says, “Absolutely beautiful! I feel so very lucky and proud.”

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• Leave her a small, inexpensive gift. This can be as simple as a toy out of a bubble gum machine, a temporary tattoo of a heart, a small stuffed animal, a scented candle, a bookmark (if she likes to read), etc. Although the gift should be inexpensive, you should put some thought into it. For example, if your lady likes frogs, then look for something cheap with a frog on it. Even an eraser in the shape of a frog will do. It doesn’t really matter if it’s something she can use or not. It just needs to be something that you know she either likes or can relate to— something that will put a smile on her face when she sees it. Use your imagination. Browse every store you go into for little gifts with her in mind. You’ll be amazed at what you can find.

In the case where your lady works or leaves the house before you do, you can do any of the above. You just need to plan things out ahead of time, including strategically placing your gestures of love out for her the night before so that she will find them when she wakes up. You can even get up earlier than normal, possibly while she is in the shower, and fix her coffee or morning beverage for her along with breakfast. If your lady works, make her a lunch without her knowing and leave a note for her somewhere that tells her there is something in the fridge for her. You can even put the lunch a special colored paper bag and draw a heart on it or put a little note inside the lunch bag that simply says, “Because you’re so wonderful!” If your lady is up and in the house when you are getting ready to leave for work, the following are some additional ideas on how to include her in your morning routine. • Strategically place a note, greeting card, flower, candy, picture, or small gift just before you are about to leave. In other words, you can do much of the same things listed above; you just need to be a little craftier about it. If she’s upstairs, leave it in the kitchen or next to her purse. If she’s downstairs, run upstairs and place it on the bathroom counter or on her pillow. If she is getting ready for work herself, leave it in her car for her to find. Wherever you put it, make sure you don’t get caught in the act! • Make her some coffee or tea, or whatever it is that she usually drinks in the morning without her asking you to do it. If you don’t know how she likes her coffee or tea, then shame on you! You need to find out and laser-engrave it into your brain for the future. www.GabrielleMoore.com

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• If she is normally the one who makes breakfast for you, get up a few minutes earlier and start breakfast yourself. When she asks you what you’re doing, tell her you’re making her breakfast for a change, give her a kiss, and tell her to take a seat and relax. If you’re smart, you will already have a cup of coffee, tea or orange juice waiting for her.

• If you have a routine of quickly saying, “I love you” before you leave each morning, then take things to a new level. Walk up to your lady, say her name, look her straight in the eye, and say, “I want you to know that when I tell you I love you every morning before I leave for work, I mean it. I love you so very much, [her name].” Be sure to say her name before you start and at the end. If you think this sounds corny, then just try it and watch how your lady reacts to you. If you look into her eyes, you will see just how much it means to her. • If you routinely give your lady a quick kiss or hug before you rush out the door, just like with the “I love you” take things to another level. When she’s expecting that little peck, take her face gently into your hands and kiss her passionately. If you normally just hug her, then squeeze her tight and longer than you normally do, and throw in a nice kiss and add, “I’ll be thinking happy thoughts about you today.”

Now that you have a few ideas on what you can do for your lady before you leave the house each day, be sure to stock on the colored sticky notes, greeting cards, candies, and inexpensive gifts. Whenever you draw a heart, make the effort to use a red marker. Before we move on, there’s something very important you must know. If leaving your lady notes and other small gestures of love are not something you’ve ever done before or if it’s been quite a long time since you’ve engaged in any such loving behaviors, chances are your lady is going to wonder what in the world has gotten into you!

If it’s been quite a long time since you’ve engaged in any such loving behaviors, chances are your lady is going to wonder what in the world has gotten into you!

She may even be a bit suspicious and wonder what you’ve done or what is it you want. But don’t worry, there’s an easy way to address all of that, and the way you are going to do it will melt her heart in an instant. We’ll get to that in just a moment. First, it’s important that you thoroughly understand how to go about including your lady in your thought process and routine at the start of each day. You are attempting to change your personal habit of just going through life on autopilot. www.GabrielleMoore.com

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This is important to change because you want to be able to reconnect with your lady in a way that makes her feel special, appreciated, and loved. By helping her to feel these positive feelings, she will think positively and feel more loving towards you. And that’s exactly what you want to create, because that is the key to increasing her sexual desire. Because she will feel loving feelings and connected with you, she will automatically want to be physically close to you. And when she “wants” to be physically close to you, there is a very high likelihood that she will be very receptive to your sexual advances. It’s also important that you remember not to do the same thing every day. Leaving her a little note on the mirror will definitely get her attention the first time you do it, especially if she’s not used to you doing things like that for her. You may continue to get a smile out of her if continued to do the same each morning for several days. But there will eventually come a time when the note on the mirror becomes “expected” by her, which is what you want to avoid.

IT’S IMPORTANT THAT YOU REMEMBER NOT TO DO THE SAME THING EVERY DAY.

Your goal is to avoid having her expect anything. You want to surprise her and keep her guessing. Later, we will discuss just how to keep her guessing. But for now, your mission is as follows: MISSION #1: Leave a loving gesture for your lady to find at the start of

each day. Make sure your loving gesture is different each day. Do this for the next 7 days. ENLIGHTEN HER Because your lady is going to be wondering who you are and what you’ve done with the real you, it’s important that you shed some light on why the sudden change in your behavior. Some women have a way of letting their imaginations run wild in the wrong direction, so you don’t want to take the chance of her thinking your loving ways have anything to do with something you are trying to cover up. However, you also don’t want to tell her that you are trying to get her to want to have sex with you more either. Telling her that will get you nowhere in a hurry! To do so, you need to explain to her that you love her very much, but often fail to express your deep love and care for her appropriately. Then you should ask her to help you learn to express the affection you already feel for her in a way that will mean something to her. Initially, your lady will probably feel puzzled. She might even be a bit offended, thinking, “When you love someone, affection comes naturally!” She may need www.GabrielleMoore.com

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your help to realize that affection comes more naturally for her than it does for you.

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Don’t be surprised if she thinks that you only sex on your mind and that this is your way of trying to improve your sexual relationship. Of course, that is one of your main goals, but you certainly don’t want to present your case to her in such a way. Instead, you want her to know that this is more about providing her with what you once provided her early on in your relationship. You can tell her, “I don’t think I let you know how much I really care for you. “I just assume you know, because I go to work, take you out, and help you around the house. I realize now that I should be doing more to tell you how much I care about you.” If you approach the subject correctly, she will be much more likely to say something like, “Sounds great! When do we start?” The lady in your life can help you by making a list of the various forms of affection that mean the most to her. Women typically desire physical closeness such as hugging, holding hands, and sitting very close to one another. Kissing can also be very important to a lot of women, as are gift cards, love notes, and small gifts that express some form of love and appreciation. Women also love it when their men take them out to dinner. In addition, many women regard any effort their men make to join them in grocery shopping and shopping for furniture or clothes as a sign of affection. The following are a few habits that can go a long way toward helping you become an affectionate partner: • Hug and kiss your lady every morning while you are still in bed. • Tell your lady that you love her while you’re having breakfast together. • Kiss your lady before you leave for work. • Call your lady during the day to see how her day is going. • Send or bring your lady some flowers every once in awhile as a surprise. • Gifts for important occasions (birthday, anniversary, Christmas, Mother’s Day, and Valentine’s Day) should always be sentimental—not practical. Take time to learn how to shop for your woman. • When leaving work, call your lady to let her know what time she can expect you home. (Who knows...she just might surprise you one day by meeting you at the door with nothing on but a pair of high heels!) • When you arrive home from work, give your lady a big hug and kiss and take a few minutes to talk to her about her day.


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• Help your lady with the dishes after dinner.

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• Hug and kiss your lady every night before you both go to sleep.

After your lady has helped identify habits that will meet her need for affection, create a plan that sees to it that you’ll learn those habits. Keep in mind that knowing what your woman needs does not meet the need! You must learn new habits that transform your knowledge into action. Then and only then will her need be met. Don’t build up your woman’s hopes with good intentions. Go one step further and learn the habits of affection and practice them every day. The biggest mistake you can make here is telling your woman you want to know her needs so that you can meet them and then failing to deliver. If you do this, your relationship will be worse than it was before you gained a better understanding. At least then you were able to plead ignorance! Your plan to learn habits of affection should be carefully written down so that you’ll be more likely to stay on course. Habits usually take time to develop—sometimes weeks, sometimes months. Your plan should also include the time you expect to be “in training.”

The easiest habits to learn are those that you enjoy performing, the most difficult are the ones you tend to find uncomfortable.

The easiest habits to learn are those that you enjoy performing, the most difficult are the ones you tend to find uncomfortable. At first, most changes of behavior seem and look awkward. It’s not spontaneous and smooth—it’s contrived. This is especially true if you see yourself as not the affectionate type. It is men with this type of attitude that give up all too quickly. They don’t like the way the various forms of affection feel. But if you stick with it, you’ll find that after a behavior has been repeated a number of times, it becomes more natural and spontaneous. What begins as uncomfortable can and will become second nature to you if you stick with it! Another obstacle is that habits of affection are not necessarily motivated by your own needs. Instead, they are motivated by your desire to meet your wife’s need. She may be offended at first when you’re not as interested in affection as she is. But eventually, you will find yourself enjoying your time of affection together, and when that happens, she won’t be concerned about how it developed. You’ll both be winners. She will have what she needs from the man who enjoys meeting her needs. The best way to enlighten your lady so that she’ll put her guard down and open her heart to you is to write her a letter. The letter doesn’t have to be long. A few


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simple lines will do. The purpose of the letter is to explain your behavior in a way that will make her feel loved and appreciated. It is also meant to show her that you recognize your part in whatever has been missing between the two of you in your relationship. Of course, everything you say needs to be real and from your heart. If it is, your letter will surely melt her heart. The following is an example of what your letter should say: My dearest [insert her name], I am sure you have been wondering why I’ve been leaving you notes and other little things over the past few days. So I thought I’d take some time to explain. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about us lately. In looking back out how things used to be and comparing that to now, I can see that things have changed a bit between us. When I asked myself why, I realized just how lazy I’ve let myself get over the years when it comes to our relationship. I been living life on autopilot and let myself fall into a boring routine. I do want you to know that although I may not always show it the way I should, I love you more now than ever before. I still find you incredibly beautiful and sexy. And I still think loving thoughts about you every day. After thinking about everything, I realized, I need to do better. That’s why I’ve been leaving you notes and other loving gestures. I’m not up to anything and I haven’t lost my mind. I just love you. And I just want you to be happy. I hope you can forgive me for my laziness when it comes to you. You deserve better than that, and I intend on doing better. So please know that everything I have done this past week and everything I do from this day forward comes from my heart. You are as important to me as life itself. And it’s time for me to start showing you that more. With all my love, [your signature] As you can see, the letter is the truth—or at least it better be! If you don’t really feel that way about your lady and you think you can pull something off like that and get away with it, you better think again. You have to mean whatever it is you write in your letter. To do so, you truly have to understand where, how and why you dropped the ball in your relationship. Once you do that, you will be able to take the first step towards helping your lady to reconnect with you.


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Writing a letter such as the one above is going to go a long, long way with your wife or girlfriend. This letter is the key to resetting your relationship with your lady, as well as steer you both in a more loving direction with each other.

The presentation of the letter is very important. That means don’t just write it on any old piece of paper or stick it in any old envelope. Put some extra effort into it. When you go out to buy your sticky notes, greeting cards, and small gifts, buy a special envelope and maybe some attractive paper and ribbon. This is a love letter. Even more, it’s a love letter that is going to mean the world to your lady once she reads it. It will probably even bring her to tears if you write it correctly. This letter is you starting over point, so make the letter special. Is there more to this letter than your lady knows? Yes, there is. But that’s going to be your little secret! Now that you have a clear understanding of the purpose of this letter, your mission is as follows: MISSION #2: On day 7, enlighten your woman through either a heart-

to-heart discussion or with a letter. Be sure to be genuine and show that you are taking responsibility for your actions (or lack thereof ). Do not expect anything from her. Make this about what she has been missing out on, not you. RESTORE INTIMACY AND RECONNECT This next step involves turning things up just a notch by incorporating some additional physical contact. This does not mean you are going to have sex! In fact, it’s important that you put that out of your head (that one too!) for now. This physical contact is going to be more to help to get your lady to relax and to stop thinking that the only time you show her any affection is when you want to have sex. I cannot stress enough just how important it is for you to change her mindset! It’s very common for couples that have been together for a long period of time to experience a loss of intimacy. This can cause a sense of disconnect between partners, resulting in less show of affection, reduced communication, and lack of sex. As a result of these negative behaviors, the relationship can spiral out of control until the couple is left wondering what happened. Once you reach that www.GabrielleMoore.com

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part in your relationship, how it all started isn’t important. Finding solutions to solve the issues and restore intimacy is what matters most.

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There are several ways to rebuild intimacy in your relationship. No only do these techniques work for reconnecting with the lady in your life, they can do a world of wonders when it comes to increasing her desire for sex. One very common technique suggested by many marriage counselors and sex therapists is to take a break from sex for two to four weeks. During that time, the focus is on reconnecting with each other on strictly an emotional level. Because women are usually the ones who don’t enjoy having sex when there is lack of intimacy in their relationShow genuine concern for her ship, this exercise provides women with feelings. When she’s done, what they need most: getting their basic share your feelings with her in emotional needs of affection and communication met, and a break from the pressure the same manner. of feeling like they have to have sex to get those needs met. While this approach is known to be highly effective in restoring both intimacy and female sexual desire, adding the following exercise and techniques can help take this approach a lot further. If religiously followed for two to four weeks, you should experience a significant improvement in intimacy, affection, communication, and sex! 1.

REFRAIN FROM SEX. The minimum is two weeks. After that, you can evaluate where you are at with your partner. If she tells you she would like more time, then give it to her, with the maximum being a total of four weeks. Rules: M-a-s-t-e-r-b-a-t-i-o-n is ALLOWED, just be sure to do it alone. She should avoid wearing lingerie or other provocative clothing to reduce your temptation.

2.

GIVE HER A MASSAGE. Whether it’s a back rub, foot massage, hand massage, or some other kind of massage, do this for your lady every other day. Find out what she likes best or alternate between body parts each time. Just keep it nonsexual. Again, this will help to relieve her stress and associate your touch with true affection instead of sex.

3.

SIT DOWN WITH YOUR LADY ONCE A DAY AND DISCUSS WHAT’S GOING ON WITH HER. This means talking to her about what she has

been feeling inside emotionally when it comes to her life and her relationship with you, as well as her mood and why. Show genuine concern for her feelings. When she’s done, share your feelings with her in the same manner. www.GabrielleMoore.com

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4.

KISS HER. This can feel awkward the first few days, but

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with practice, it will get easier. Take her hand and give her a “passionate” kiss, not just a peck. Kiss her in the morning when you wake up or before you leave for work, as well as at night before you go to sleep.

5.

SAY “I LOVE YOU”. Do this at least once every day. Every other day, tell her “why” you love her. Doing so gives the words “I love you” more meaning and substance. This will help her think of you fondly.

6.

TELL HER WHY YOU FELL IN LOVE WITH HER. Talk about when you first

met her and when it was that you knew you were in love with her. Tell her exactly what it was about her that made you have to have her. This exercise is very effective in reminding the both of you just what brought you together. It also provides an opportunity for further open communication. 7.

DON’T ARGUE. Agree up front that

there will be no arguing during the extent of your break. If either of you has a problem, agree to discuss it as calmly and respectfully as possible. Arguments kill intimacy! So it’s very important to maintain your intimacy during the course of the exercise (as well as thereafter). 8.

BE PASSIONATE. As the weeks pass, sexual tension will begin to build. You will surely experience a heightened state of arousal at times. As long as you can refrain from sexually pleasuring each other (in any manner), feel free to make out and touch one another. Do not bring her to climax and do not allow her to bring you to climax. If it gets to that point, one or both of you can relieve yourself privately, then come back together when you are done. This technique works best near as the end of the break approaches.

9.

DATE HER. Based on what you know about your lady and what she likes

to do, take her on a date at least once a week. This will help her to relax and enjoy something fun without the idea of sex looming in the background. www.GabrielleMoore.com

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10. CONTINUE THE ABOVE EXERCISES UNTIL YOU ARE SUCCESSFUL WITH EACH. Changing the behavior or your


relationship and your day-to-day interactions with your lady is imperative if you want to get her desire for sex back on track. Be sure to keep an eye on your behavior and always put your best foot forward.

After two weeks of successful completion of each of the above tasks, sit down with your lady and evaluate where both of you are at in comparison to before you started the exercise. If she is feeling closer to you and less apprehensive about sex, but still not aching for it, then consider continuing things for another week and reassess. However, if she finds her sexual tension is “too much to handle” and you both find yourselves wanting to rip the others clothes off, then you are ready to make love. MISSION #3: After you enlighten your lady, ask her if she would be

willing to try the above experiment with you over the next two to four weeks, reassessing where you’re both at after the first two weeks. (Believe me, she’ll love the idea!) Carry out each of the techniques/exercises during your break. Don’t feel that you have to limit yourself to only kissing and massages. If you have an opportunity to lay with her on the couch while you watch TV together or play around together in the pool, take every opportunity to do so. Just don’t have sex until the break is over! PLAY HARD TO GET You’re probably wondering why on earth you should play hard to get when all you want to do is get hard and have sex with our lady. Allow me to enlighten you… Playing hard to get does not mean you aren’t interested in having sex. It just means you are “acting” like you aren’t interested in sex. The purpose of playing hard to get with your lady is to help her to relax a bit, as well as to keep her guessing.

THE PURPOSE OF PLAYING HARD TO GET WITH YOUR LADY IS TO HELP HER TO RELAX A BIT, AS WELL AS TO KEEP HER GUESSING.

A woman usually knows when her man wants to have sex. In fact, she can pick up on your advances well in advance of popping the question, “You wanna have sex?” In fact, since we’re on the subject, let’s take a moment to talk about why you should never ask your lady if she wants to have sex.


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Asking your woman if she wants to have sex is a lot like a little boy asking if he can go outside and play. You’re not a little boy. You’re a man! Besides, when you ask your lady a question like that, there are only two answers she can give you—yes or no. Think about the odds there. You have a 50% chance of being rejected. Those are pretty high odds. If you were considering diving off a cliff into a pool of water, but just before you do it someone tells you that you have a 50% chance of dying when you hit the water, my bet is you won’t dive off that cliff. That’s how you should look at things when you ask your lady if she wants to have sex. And the fact that you are dealing with a hormonally and emotionally driven female is all the more reason to avoid asking her for sex. Sex is all about creating the mood, not a casual question. Women need to have a reason to have sex, men don’t. That’s because desire for sex is already built into your equipment. It’s called testosterone. With that hormone running through your body 24/7, you don’t really need any other reason to have sex. The desire is usually always there.

Women need to have a reason to have sex, men don’t. That’s because desire for sex is already built into your equipment. It’s called testosterone.

But that’s not the case for a woman. She does have some testosterone running through her body, but it pales in comparison to yours. Instead, she has estrogen and progesterone coursing through her veins. Hormones that are responsible for much of her emotions and thought processes. Because of these hormones, she’s not likely to sit around thinking about sex like you do. You can’t just nudge up close to your lady and expect her to be in the mood for sex as much as you are. Even if you have an hour of quiet time to yourselves, you cannot expect her to want to have sex at your simple suggestion. In order for her to desire sex, she has to have a reason. So what does all of this have to do with playing hard to get? For starters, it goes a long way in reconditioning her thoughts about you wanting nothing but sex from her. Right now, your lady is likely to think that every time you touch her or do something nice for her, it means you are trying to prime her for sex. And if you continue to behave that way, she will continue to think that way instead of accepting your affection and kindness as your way of caring for her and making her happy. I use the phrase “playing hard to get” because not only do you need to avoid having sex after you provide your lady with some nonsexual affection, you also need to avoid having sex when your lady shows an interest. Not all the time, just some of the time.


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I assure you that when you begin this process of trying to meet your woman’s emotional needs in an attempt to strengthen your relationship with her and to create intimacy between the two of you, she is going to automatically think you want sex. She’s going to be like a porcupine backed up into a corner, with every needle splayed on end, ready for you to prick one. But you aren’t going to do that. You are going to behave in a way that will literally leave her scratching her head. Know up front that it’s going to take some time for her to get to that half-confused state. It’s not going to happen after the first or second day. It may not even happen after the tenth day. But if you continue to avoid sex each time you provide her with affection, refrain from talking about or asking her for sex, and even turn her down (gently) on occasion when she appears to be somewhat interested in sex (but more for your sake), her mindset will begin to change. And as that starts to happen, she will begin to put her guard down, look forward to your touch, and allow herself to feel special, cared for, and loved by you. Once that happens, you will become much more receptive to having sex.

When it comes to turning her down for sex, only do so during specific opportunities. For example, if you’ve just finished giving her a nonsexual massage and she casually asks you if “you” want to have sex, you should pass on the opportunity. That’s because chances are she’s suggesting it for your benefit and not hers. Just as she has gotten into the routine of thinking you want nothing but sex from her, she has also gotten into a bad habit of having sex with you out of guilt or feeling sorry for you. So just simply tell her you would love to but you’ll pass on her offer, as it’s important to you that she know you giving her a massage doesn’t mean you want to have sex. You’re just happy to be close to her and spend some time with her. The following is an example of how the conversation should go: – HER: “So, do you want to have sex?” – YOU: “Oh, honey, I appreciate that. But we really don’t have to. Seriously. I just wanted to give you a nice massage. It’s just my way of trying to do better by you. I really don’t want you to think that every time I touch you, it means I want to have sex. I’m just as happy having some alone time with you and being close to you.” www.GabrielleMoore.com

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If your lady is truly suggesting sex for your benefit and not hers, she will accept your answer and not bring it up again. However, if your massage aroused her and she’s feeling a bit frisky at the moment, she will let you know through her persistence or by telling you straight out that “she” wants to have sex. That doesn’t mean she’s going to just blurt out, “I want to have sex,” although that would be great. She’ll more likely dance around the subject a bit, maybe even present it as a question, such as, “Well…what if I want to have sex?” and give you a little smirk. In this case, you can give her a smirk of your own and say, “Well, I just might be your man, then,” and lovingly proceed. So when it comes to when and when not to turn down her offer for sex, the rule is this: If she is offering sex solely for your benefit, gently pass. On the other hand, if she initiates sex with you, tells you she is horny and wants to make love to you, DO NOT turn her down!

IF SHE IS OFFERING SEX SOLELY FOR YOUR BENEFIT, GENTLY PASS.

Turning her down when she actually “wants” to have sex would be like refusing a home-cooked meal that your grandmother went out of her way to prepare just for you. SHE WOULD BE OFFENDED! Even if you are not in the mood for sex at the moment, you damn well better jump at the opportunity, as turning her down might hurt her feelings and give her a reason to not want to approach you for sex anytime soon. One last note, If you ever find yourself in a situation where she suggests having sex during a time when you are not providing her with nonsexual affection, you can take her up on her offer. However, when doing so, be sure to really make it worth her while by following the tips and suggestions discussed in the section entitled “Inside the Bedroom.” So, here’s your next mission: MISSION #4: When you are massaging, cuddling, or providing the

various forms of physical contact as mentioned above, end things with a loving kiss or hug and then purposely turn your attention to getting ready for bed or some other activity. Do not mention sex. Make it look as if you are not interested (even if you have a raging hard-on). This will help her to relax the next time you touch her and change her mindset about you only touching her when you want to have sex. This is very important when it comes to helping her to change her mindset towards you and sex. If she lets you know that she wants to have sex, by all means give her what she wants. Otherwise, avoid her offers for sex after providing her with nonsexual affection. www.GabrielleMoore.com

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So you’ve provided your lady with a week of loving gestures. You enlightened her with a meaningful talk or love letter. You helped her to relax through physical contact. And you’ve played hard to get here and there. Now what? Continue to meet your lady’s basic need for affection and communication on a daily basis. This means continuing to include her in the start of your daily routine by leaving her a gesture of love before you leave for work. Every day? Yes, every day! From there you will work on building upon your efforts by spending more time with her and giving her more affection and attention. In doing so, you will improve the intimacy between the two of you and give her a reason (hopefully more) to want to connect with you more often sexually. The following are some great ways to further improve the intimacy in your relationship.

WHY INTIMACY IS IMPORTANT AND HOW TO CREATE IT All too often men and women use the old “I just haven’t had the time,” as their excuse for failing to do what needs to be done to maintain a healthy, intimate relationship. This is such a popular excuse that it’s literally an epidemic among both men and women. So many couples claim that they with all of the responsibilities they have to tend to in their lives—with work and raising a family—they are so overwhelmed that they simply don’t have the time to create a loving and intimate environment with their partner as often as they should. Let this go on long enough, and a deep sense of disconnection begins to develop that eventually gets expressed as arguments, lack of communication, parenting conflicts, disagreements over finances, and lack of sex. But what’s important to note is that these are all symptoms, not causes. By improving the connection between you and your lady, her feelings of trust, respect and love for you will increase. And once those emotional cornerstones are in place, you’d be surprised just how easy it is to resolve conflicts with her, as well as approach her and get her to agree to sex.

Once those emotional cornerstones are in place, you’d be surprised just how easy it is to resolve conflicts with her.

In trying to reverse the downward spiral of your lady’s sexual desire, it’s important to remember that if you continue to put your relationship at the end of your “To Do” list and assume you’ll tend to her needs some other day, you run the risk of waking up one day to find that there are no more days. This is because if you


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both continue to get your needs unmet, one of you may ultimately wind up telling the other, “I don’t love you anymore. I want out.” This is why it’s so important for someone to be the bigger person and put their best foot forward. And because you are reading this book, it’s going to be up to you for now. This means that you must make your relationship a priority in not just words or feelings, but by making it a part of your daily life, even if you have to write it down to remember to do so.

In today’s world of computers, PDAs, and other forms of keeping a schedule, this means you will need to schedule in actual time for your relationship rather than hoping you’ll find the time. If you have children, one of the most important gifts you can give them is a healthy relationship between you and their mother. When relationships are good, families function a lot better. Studies show that when parents get along and create a loving environment, children are happier and experience fewer medical issues, likely because there is a lot let stress to deal with. Ensuring the needs of your partner are met also acts an excellent model for what children should do when they grow up and commit themselves to a relationship.

Studies show that when parents get along and create a loving environment, children are happier and experience fewer medical issues.

Since meeting the needs of your lady is so important, both of you need to consider taking time you would normally spend with your kids and using that time to invest in your relationship. With these important considerations in mind, let’s take a look at some other strategies you can put in place to help meet the needs of your lady and create a more intimate and sexually receptive environment. • Set aside 15 to 20 minutes of uninterrupted conversation every day. • Set aside 1 to 2 hours for a long conversation every week. • Plan and attend at least one overnight rendezvous for just the two of you every other month. • Plan and attend two weekend getaways for just the two of you every year. www.GabrielleMoore.com

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Will this take some creativity? Yes, it will. It will also require commitment. But trust me when I tell you that the payoff will be quite colossal! In order to make time for the daily and weekly conversations, you will need to plan ahead. This will require talking to your lady and looking at the week ahead on your calendars. If you have children, be sure not to limit yourself to evenings, as this is usually the worst time for parents to have a conversation without being interrupted. Also avoid scheduling your time just before bedtime, as one of you is likely to be very tired and the desire for sleep will take over. The following are some simple ways to get your conversation time in: • Schedule time over breakfast for your daily conversation. • Schedule lunch together for a long conversation. • An evening out. • A short walk after dinner. • A long walk over the weekend. • Phone calls. • Exercising at the gym or at home together.

Your talks should consist of sharing information about your family, work, and other interests so that you can further nourish your lady’s need to feel as if the two of you are best friends. Be sure to save the bigger or more stressful issues for your longer conversations. However, don’t let things build for too long, as being open and honest is very important. If your lady does or says something that rubs you the wrong way, let her know. That doesn’t mean you have to rehash the entire event in detail and get into an argument over who was at fault. Just simply let her know how what she said or did made you “feel.” Getting away with each other overnight or for the weekend is a great way to get you and your lady to reconnect and experience the fun you shared early on in your relationship together. If you have kids, arranging for someone to care for them while you are away can sometimes be a challenge. However, if you don’t have family that can help, look to friends that also have children, as they may be more than happy to watch your kids in exchange for the same. In addition to the above alone time, be sure to honor those special times when you and your lady reunite after a long day at work. Take the opportunity to hug her and kiss her when you arrive home. Don’t miss out on those moments. Instead, learn to appreciate them while you have the chance to do so. Look at it as a way to tell her that you miss her and are happy to have her in your life. It’s also an opportunity to sync back up for the remainder of the day. Review what’s www.GabrielleMoore.com

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planned for the evening, whether or not she needs your help with something, as well as when the two of you might have some special time together after all is said and done.


Another important time of day is bedtime. If you have children, then know that bedtime in this sense means your bedtime, not your children’s bedtime. It is not uncommon for a couple to go to bed at different times. In fact, it is estimated that almost half of couples, especially parents, have different bedtime. This only adds to the disconnected feelings and sense of being alone that couples experience at the end of the day. It’s funny how instinctive it is for a parent to want to create a sense of connection with their child before they go to bed each night. They sit on their bed, read books, lie next to them, kiss them, hug them, and talk to them about good and pleasant things. Even as children reach their teens, many parents will still continue some form of this evening ritual before saying goodnight.

EVEN IF YOU HAVE SEPARATE BETIMES, YOU SHOULD MAKE TIME TO CONNECT WITH YOUR LADY BEFORE ONE OR THE OTHER GOES TO SLEEP.

So why don’t we do the same when it comes to our partner? Even if you have separate betimes, you should make time to connect with your lady before one or the other goes to sleep. If you have been in the habit of just giving her a quick kiss goodnight while in the living room just before going to bed, then tell her you would like her to join you in bed from now on for 15-20 minutes so the two of you can chat, snuggle, or take time to say “I’m sorry” for something that may have happened earlier in the day. Doing so will help reaffirm your respect, love and genuine concern for her. It will also allow both of you to go to sleep with a sense of togetherness even when you’re not—something that is very important to a woman. If you go to bed at the same time as your partner, it’s just as important to do more than just watch TV and say goodnight. Keep in mind the old adage about never going to bed angry, as it’s a valuable piece of advice. Sometimes all it takes is a few minutes of holding each other to release an entire day’s worth of tension. It also helps to create a sense of togetherness. Just remember what you learned. Snuggling does not equal sex. Snuggling is nonsexual affection that your lady needs. However, keep in mind that by meeting your lady’s needs, she will be more inclined to want to have sex with you. In that case, you are both winners! With faith that you are going to carry on from this day forward new loving habits for the sake of your lady and your relationship, I have no choice but to assume www.GabrielleMoore.com

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that within the next couple of weeks, you are going to be presented with an opportunity to have sex with your lady. When that opportunity arrives, not only are you going to take advantage of it, you’re going to surprise the hell out of your lady by loving her body in a way that will leave her asking, “When can we do that again?”

Yes, it’s time to move onto the bedroom. And if all goes right, it won’t be long before you’re moving on to the kitchen table, bathroom counter, sofa, and a few other sexually steamy places!

INSIDE THE BEDROOM

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f you have ever wanted to know how to please your woman sexually, then you are reading the right book. Although some men think the process is comparable to rocket science, it’s actually quite simple. You just have to know what you’re doing. And this is one of those cases where it’s just as easy said as it is done. You start first with arousal. And as you’ve already learned, the best way to go about making your woman feel aroused is by satisfying her need for affection and conversation, as this helps her to feel close to you, as well as improve, needed, and wanted. Women also like to feel sexy. You can do so in a variety of ways. One way that is a huge turn-on for girls is creating sexual tension. Just keep in mind that the thrill and anticipation are what make the actual act of sex so much better. You can create sexual tension by engaging your woman mentally. You can’t go about this in a physical manner. You must talk to her and shower her with nonsexual affection, all the while maintaining the tension and anticipation. Reconnecting with your woman is one of the keys to sexually pleasing your woman. So don’t look at this part of the process as insignificant. It is actually the most significant part of all. It’s like the key that turns an engine on. Without it, you’re not going to go very far. Keep in mind that women are not carbon copies. No two women are alike. This is why it’s important to find out www.GabrielleMoore.com

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exactly what types of affection mean the most to your lady. You can’t use intuition or ticks to get the job done. You have to make a sincere effort. This is not about tricking your woman into sex. This is about helping your lady to “want” to have sex.

Whatever you do, DO NOT…I repeat…DO NOT move too fast. Sometimes women like their men to be assertive, even a bit aggressive. But your lady has been lacking sexual desire, so she’s going to need some time to get back into the swing of things. So do yourself a favor: Don’t assume that your lady’s hug or passionate kiss automatically means she wants to strip naked. Just keep flexing those muscles of intimacy and continue on with the nonsexual attention (even if you have a hard on). Even if you feel ready, she may still need some priming. So let her make the first move. When she asks you if you want to or runs her hand across your crotch, you can take that as the signal that she’s ready for the pleasure to begin. That’s when you can move onto the next step—foreplay!

FOREPLAY: HER APPETIZER, MAIN COURSE, AND DESSERT The average man can achieve an orgasm with just 2-3 minutes of sexual stimulation. It takes the average woman, however, between 20-30 minutes. This goes a long way to explain why men so often finish way before their lady has ever had a chance to get started. This is why women so desperately desire foreplay. If all men in the world could get this simple logic through their head, there’d be a lot less complaining and a hell of a lot more sex! To understand just how much a women wants foreplay, think about it in terms of your desire for a blow job—just the thought of their woman going down on them turns most men on. Okay, so you’ve got the message now. The problem is that most men don’t seem to get the message women send all over the world. So let me put it to you plain and simple: MOST LADIES WANT IS MORE FOREPLAY. Heck, it’s such a rare commodity, some women would be happy to get any at all. If you’re still rolling your eyes, then think about how much more sex you’d be getting if you gave your woman just what she wanted.

The average man can achieve an orgasm with just 2-3 minutes of sexual stimulation. It takes the average woman, however, between 20-30 minutes.

To women, foreplay is not something you do before sex. It is sex! So if you stop thinking of foreplay as the appetizer that you need to race through to get to the main course, then you’ve already moved up in the ranks when it comes to being a better lover. Foreplay can be initiated before, during or after sex. For www.GabrielleMoore.com

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example, if the both of you are very aroused and you have already penetrated her, you can withdraw and partake in some foreplay. Experienced couples do this quite often after initiating intercourse. They’ll stop and take a break for some masturbation or oral sex to prolong their hot and heavy sexual mood. Some of the most creative lovers do nothing but foreplay throughout their entire sexual encounter. They don’t do this every time, just some of the time. Many men and woman report that the orgasms they experience through masturbation and oral sex are more intense, and it’s the only way some women can have an orgasm. Don’t look at foreplay as something you do only when you have time, especially when you are in the process of trying to increase your woman’s desire for sex. If you want her to desire sex, then foreplay is a surefire way to go about it. For a woman to enjoy sex, her vagina has to physically prepare to be penetrated. Without proper preparation, she will not be lubricated enough to receive your penis without some discomfort. So give her the time she deserves. Even a man who gets hard just by inserting a quarter into a Vegas slot machine can’t deny that a nice, slow, erotic “tease” drastically improves the entire sexual experience. I have one important tip, however, before you eagerly pour through this section on foreplay: Don’t try to do everything all at once. A girlfriend of mine, who took the liberty of telling her husband she was bored with the sex they were having, was blind folded and tied to the bed naked. From there, her husband proceeded to stroke her entire body with (prickly) feathers, drip melting ice over her breasts, (and in her nose), as well as insert a (much too ripe) banana into her vagina (with her later having to scoop it out with her fingers). Although her husband gets an “A” for effort, his give-it-all-he’s-got-allat-once approach did not produce the shivering orgasm that he hoped to give his wife. She shivered all right, but only because of all that freezing ice water. When it comes to foreplay, you want to get into the habit of savoring the experience, relaxing, and taking your time. Also remember that creating anticipation can be one of the sexiest ways to turn your lady on.


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Now, let’s get into just how to turn your lady’s sexual thermostat up to hot through the art of foreplay!

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EROTIC MASSAGE Who doesn’t like a good massage? In an ideal world, most men and women would choose to have a daily massage. Unfortunately, not many of us have the time or the money, so when it comes to your lady, it’s up to you. But this isn’t just any old massage. This is a massage that only you can perform. Keep in mind this is just one form of foreplay. This is not and should not be something you do each DO YOUR BEST TO SCHEDULE THE and every time you romp around the bedroom; MASSAGE DURING A TIME WHEN YOU once a month will do just fine. Just be sure that it’s AND YOUR LADY HAVE A COUPLE OF a massage for her only. If she wants to massage HOURS OF ALONE TIME TOGETHER. you, she can do it some other time. So don’t allow her or ask her to massage you next. The purpose of this massage is to sexually stimulate her. And believe me, you’ll be just as sexually stimulated by the time you’re done. Do your best to schedule the massage during a time when you and your lady have a couple of hours of alone time together. You don’t even have to tell her what you’re up to. Just tell her you have a surprise for her a couple of days in advance, get your massage supplies ready, and be willing and able to perform when the time arrives To help set the mood, take the phone off the hook and have some slow and sexy music playing in the background. Also be sure to make the room warm, even if it means turning on the heat the hour prior. Although you will want your lady to be fully undressed during the massage, be sure to keep your underwear on. (An erect penis that keeps bumping into your lady tends to be more humorous than sensual.) After your lady arrives and has gotten undressed, ask her to lie face down on the bed (or massage table if you have one). Have her spread her legs just enough for you to place one of your knees between them. Cover all of the body parts that you are not massaging. Not only will this help her to relax and not feel so exposed and vulnerable, it will also help to create the sexual tension and anticipation you’re after. Start by warming the scented massage oil (baby oil will also do) between the palms of your hands. Don’t drip or squirt it directly onto her skin, as it can be quite cold. It doesn’t hurt to even warm it up in the microwave for a few seconds www.GabrielleMoore.com

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before you start. Begin by gently stroking her back. Simply skim your fingertips over her skin every so lightly to create some goose bumps. Next, move onto the firmer massage strokes. You don’t have to be a masseuse to give a sensual massage. Just about anything feels good, especially when you’ve been deprived of massages altogether. However, be sure to familiarize yourself with the following strokes and try some of them out. • CIRCLES: Move your hands in a firm, circular motion, working your way outward and away from her spine. Your hand movements should mirror each other. • GLIDE: Place your hands on the lower part of her butt with your palms flat and fingers pointing towards her head. Using the weight of your body, firmly (yet gently) push your hands up and along her spine • THUMB STROKES: Using your thumbs, move in a circular motion along her muscles to ease (spend extra time on muscles that feel tight). You can also use your knuckles in the same manner along either side of her spine to create a sensual sensation. Be sure to work your way upward and away from the spine.

As you proceed, ask your lady to tell you which strokes she enjoys best and whether she likes a firm or gentle touch. Be sure to start off gentle and let her tell you if she wants you to apply more pressure. Work up to a rhythm and keep it going. Try not to stop when you change your massaging technique. Always keep at least one hand on her body at all times and watch her facial expressions and body language when you can to see if she is relaxed her face- if it’s relaxed, so is her body. Throughout the first half hour of the massage, pay attention to each and every part of her body, with the exception of her breasts and genital region. Massage both her back and her front, including her feet, hands, butt and areas around her breasts. Do not massage her breasts at this point. Remember: It’s all about the anticipation. Be sure that you give each side of her body equal attention (15 minutes on her back, 15 minute on her front). The massage should be more relaxing then sexy for the first half hour. After that, you can move onto more sensual sensations. Once you’ve reached the half hour mark, slowly move your hands to the more intimate areas of her body. With your lady lying face down, start by running your


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hands slowly between her thighs and buttocks. Be sure to continue massage other areas too, just avoid touching her vagina. It’s okay to cup her buttocks into your hands and gently need it. It’s also just fine to caress her inner thighs to the point you are dangerously close to her vagina. Just make sure you don’t touch her there. If she starts to rock her pelvis back and forth and grind the bed, GREAT! That’s exactly what you want. After 15 minutes of this, turn her over and work on her front, taking time to tease her by massage all the areas around her vagina, including just above her pelvic bone.

Be sure not to move too fast. If you sense any type of resistance whatsoever, back off. Think of the massage as a sensual expression of your love and not the precursor to sexual intercourse. Although it’s likely to make her want to have sex with you, she’ll enjoy it so much more if there’s no pressure for her to do so. When the time comes to touch her vagina, be sure not to use oil. Instead, use a lubricant made just for sex, such as Sylk, Astroglide, or Glyde. K-Y jelly will work, but it tends to be thicker than the other lubricants mentioned and doesn’t glide as easily. Be sure to prepare ahead of time by having a damp towel nearby. Use this to remove oil from your hands before warming the lubricant between your fingers. Remember that this erotic massage is not to be used as a form of foreplay each and every time. If you do this every time you and your lady have sex, it will become routine, predictable, and boring. When you do perform this type of massage on your lady, be sure not to perform it the exact same way every time. More importantly, perform this type of massage from time to time without having sex with her at the end. This will keep her guessing! Once you’ve given your lady a half an hour of relaxing massage and a half hour of sensually stimulating massage, you’re ready to move on to her intimate parts. Start by massaging her inner thighs first. Alternate between the flat of your palms and the tips of your fingers, lightly brushing along the inside of her thighs. Next, do the entire length of her body (you’re still building up her anticipation).

Once you’ve given your lady a half an hour of relaxing massage and a half hour of sensually stimulating massage, you’re ready to move on to her intimate parts.

Start at her ankles, moving up her legs and brushing ever so gently over her pubic hair, then up to her breasts, being sure to circle “around” them. Repeat this at least three or four times.


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Focusing on her intimate parts, stroke her pubic hair and outer portions of her vagina using very soft and gentle motions (she should be lying on her back at this point). Next, gently stroke and tap her outer vaginal lips with your fingers, making sure to keep a consistent and regular rhythm. To stimulate her clitoris, kneel between her legs. Apply the knuckles of your first two fingers to the outer lips of her vagina and knead them, moving forward and backward as you massage. Make sure you’re not pinching her skin. You should be gently kneading. Working your way downward, massage the entire labia with a slightly firm but gentle pressure. Make your way toward her anus and then lift your knuckles and start from the top again. You can also use your first finger and thumb if it feels more comfortable.

WHEN MASSAGING THE VAGINA AND CLITORAL AREA, IT’S HELPFUL IF YOU IMAGINE THE FACE OF A CLOCK, WITH THE PORTION JUST ABOVE THE HOOD OF THE CLITORIS BEING THE 12 O’CLOCK POSITION

Better known as the “bread and butter” or “two-finger” stoke, this technique is one of the easiest ways to give a woman pleasure. Place your thumb and index finger comfortably just under the hood of the clitoris (just inside the lips). Gently rotate your fingers around the top of her clit and then move your fingers in a downward direction. Be sure to massage and roll evenly, rubbing up and down on either side of the vagina, settling into an even rhythm. When she opens her legs wider, raises or pelvis, or pushes against your hand, that is your signal that she is ready for more direct stimulation of her clitoris. When massaging the vagina and clitoral area, it’s helpful if you imagine the face of a clock, with the portion just above the hood of the clitoris being the 12 o’clock position and the lowest point near the vaginal opening being the 6 o’clock position. Pay attention to what she tells you feels good and make a mental note of the location in terms of the clock position (9 o’clock, 3 o’clock, etc.) for the next time around. Now, take the tip of your finger and move it around her clit in a circular motion. Slowly move down the entire length of her vagina, alternating between bigger circles, stroking, and teasing caresses with your fingers. Next, move back to her clitoris and circle over it with the tips of your fingers. Be gentle when doing this, as every woman is different when it comes to clitoral stimulation. Some women don’t like it. So keep checking with her on what feels best using the clock as your guide? If she enjoys what you’re doing, attempt to “pull” the clitoris between your two fingers through the hood. Although it’s not possible to grip the clitoris itself, the sensation the pulling motion creates is fabulous! www.GabrielleMoore.com

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Next, you’re going to apply a stroke that works both the clitoris and the G-spot at the same time. If done correctly, it will bring your lady to orgasm.

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After ensuring her vagina is well lubricated, insert one or two fingers, curving them upward so that you’re working on the vaginal wall closest to her stomach. Hold your finger motionless for a few seconds so that she has time to relax and get comfortable. As you learned earlier, the G-spot feels like a small, spongy lump. When a woman is aroused, the area will engorge with blood and become much more sensitive to the touch. After you’ve found her G-spot, move your finger in a “come here” motion, as if telling someone to come over to you with your finger. Don’t apply constant or hard pressure. All she needs is a gentle stroking motion to experience intense pleasure. You can also try a zig-zag motion from time to time so that your finger avoids focusing too much on the same area as it passes over the G-spot. With your other hand, continue circling her clitoris with your thumb, finger, or the flat surface of a vibrator. When you sense she’s about to orgasm, move back and forth over the clitoris. An important thing to know about the clitoris is that it is very sensitive. Even when thoroughly lubricated, it is extremely sensitive. If your touch is too direct, too rough, or if you spend too much time stimulating the clitoris or even apply the stimulation too soon, it will become oversensitive. This will result in discomfort or pain, as well as a loss in sensation and inability to achieve an orgasm. So when it come to focusing exclusively on the clitoris, be sure to do so only when you know your lady is close to reaching an orgasm. As soon as she does, back off from the clitoris until her sensitivity lessens. Once your lady has experienced the pleasure of an orgasm (or two), she will be very receptive to you penetrating her with your hardened penis and gyrating around until you experience the same orgasmic pleasure. Keep in mind that this might not be all she’s willing to do. Still being in a highly sexually aroused state, she may want to take you in her mouth or use the oil to give you the bet hand job you’ve ever had. How you get your pleasure isn’t really the important here. What’s most important is that through the art of massage, you were able to give your lady the foreplay she so desperately wants, as well a pleasurable sexual experience that will only make her want to keep coming back for more! Now let’s move on!


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BOOBIES!

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If you’re lady is a size DD, paying attention to her breasts probably isn’t a problem for you. But if your woman has small breasts, you might be like some men and bypass them on your way to what you might perceive as what matters most— her vagina. For most women, however, both big breasted and small, their breasts are highly erotic zones and a vital part when it comes to stimulating her sexually. As with every other body part, what your lady likes, when she likes it, and how she likes it can differ greatly from other women. So be sure to start off slowly and gently, increasing the pressure when signaled by your partner through her verbal direction or physical state of arousal. Watch her body language to see how she responds to your varying forms of touch. And be sure it’s sexual desire that’s making her nipples hard—not the cold room! Explore her breasts by sucking, licking, stroking, nibbling, and gently squeezing them. Although the nipples and areola (the pinkish-brown circles around her nipples) are known to be sensitive, so are the undersides of her breasts just under the areola. Some women don’t feel a thing when their nipples are touched. But stroke or lick just under her areola and, zing, the nipples instantly harden. Be sure to use your fingers, tongue, lips, hand, and even the head of your hardened penis to explore and stimulate her breasts. Some women enjoy having her nipples pinched, bitten or flicked. However, this depends on your lady’s personality, mood, where she is in her menstrual cycle, as well as how


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many glasses of wine she’s had! There might be times when just the pads of your fingertips feel to rough. Other times, she might beg you to bite her nipples harder and harder. There’s really no way to tell what she’s going to be up for from one day to the next, so be sure to ask her what feels good. OTHER IMPORTANT TIPS

When it comes to pleasing your lady sexually, the more you go out of your way to ensure a pleasurable sexual experience the better. The following are some additional tips you should keep in mind for the sake of your lady’s sexual experience. • When it comes to foreplay, think Monopoly: Before you can pass go and collect your $200, you have to make your way around the board (and hope you don’t get sent to jail along the way). So when it comes to your woman, don’t even think about touching her vagina until you’ve made your way across her neck, breasts, stomach, and thighs (turning her over and licking her back and the crease of her buttocks won’t hurt either). • When you do make your way to her vagina, if she’s not already wet, then lubricate the area with some personal lubricant or your own saliva. Once she’s fully aroused, her natural lubricant should kick in and keep the vagina moist. However, this depends a lot on her age and what part of her menstrual cycle she’s in. So always be ready to apply your own lubricant if needed

When you do make your way to her vagina, if she’s not already wet, then lubricate the area with some personal lubricant or your own saliva.

• Also make sure to apply the three golden rules: Be gentle, go slow, and keep a steady rhythm. Keeping a steady rhythm over a lengthy period of time (even if your touch isn’t perfect), will do you better than switching back and forth from one technique to another. Although she can slow down, speed up, and even stop to tease you, doing the same to her might just frustrate her enough to want to close up shop. • Many women enjoy being penetrated with a finger (keep those fingernails trimmed). Be sure to start with one finger and don’t add another until her vagina becomes more receptive through her arousal. Move your finger in and out of the vagina very gently. If your lady likes it deep and hard, be sure to do it slowly. Her vagina will be wet inside, so be sure to apply lubricant to her clitoris. Keep stimulating the clitoris while you penetrate her with your finger, dipping it in and out.


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• Many times you might find you have one hand working the inside of her vagina with your other hand stimulating the clitoris. However, when you have one hand free, use it to stimulate her nipples. • Many women thoroughly enjoy having their clitoris stimulated with the head of their man’s erect penis—a very sexy alternative if you ask me!

MANY WOMEN THOROUGHLY ENJOY HAVING THEIR CLITORIS STIMULATED WITH THE HEAD OF THEIR MAN’S ERECT PENIS

• Keep in mind that when a woman is on the verge of having an orgasm, she will often grow very still, her body dramatically tense, butt cheeks tightly clenched, and as quiet as a mouse. (Sorry, but a majority of those screamers are faking it!) This is the most crucial point, so it’s imperative that you continue doing what you were doing. Don’t stop or change a thing! While she’s coming, keep going but slow things down and ease up on the pressure just a bit. She’ll push you away when she gets to a point where she can’t take it any more. COMMON MANLY MISTAKES Providing a pleasurable sexual experience more than knows all the right moves. Just as important is educating you on all the wrong moves and make sure to avoid them. • You’re too rough. Regardless of age, being too rough is the #1 complaint among women. • You don’t read her body language and get offended when she tries to guide you. Look—it doesn’t matter how many women you’ve had every woman is different. So if your woman guides you, don’t take it as criticism. She’s simply teaching you what she likes. When it comes to her body language, if she’s pressing against you, it means she wants you to apply more pressure. When she pulls away, it means she wants you to ease up and be gentle. • Inconsistent rhythm. Just as she’s climbing her way to an orgasm, you change your technique, sending her sliding back down to the bottom.

• You rush and penetrate her with your fingers too soon. Be sure to stimulate the lips and clitoris first. • You stop at the worst possible moment. A woman’s orgasm tends to last longer than a man’s. (Hey, there have to have some payoff for all the periods and child- birth) Even when you think your lady is done, she


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could still be climaxing. If you stop what you’re doing when she’s still climaxing, her orgasm will continue but it will not be anywhere near as pleasurable and cause her to feel horribly robbed!

So now you know what women want and what women don’t want. Your next task is to thoroughly familiarize yourself with all of the information above; even if you have to read it ten times before it soaks in. Once you have these foreplay techniques ingrained into your brain, the next time your lady is receptive to sex, “WOW” her with your newly learned. Keep in mind the three golden rules: Go slow, be gentle, and keep a steady rhythm! Let’s take a look now at a few sexual positions that can a long way towards pleasing your lady and keep her coming back for more!

SEXUAL POSITIONS Hey, it’s not our fault that the only sex organ in the body designed solely for sexual pleasure is on the outside of our vaginas instead of where it needs to be—on the inside. This simple design fault causes many problems for couples. Because most women need stimulation of the clitoris along with thrusting (think penis rubbing against G-spot), it’s the reason why many women don’t have an orgasm during intercourse. So be sure to file that fact away, as there are already too many men on this planet that just don’t get it! Our design fault is also responsible for the main male complaint about sex. While women around the world tell their partners, “I can’t come that way,” men complain that their women don’t seem interested in having sexual intercourse. Some men say that women quite often view intercourse as their time to relax and read a good book while he does all the work. But think about it: Why should women be enthusiastic when they already know they’re not going to strike gold? Luckily, both of these problems can be solved with one simple solution. All you have to do is remember the old saying: Busy hands are happy hands (and so is the vagina they’re busy with). Just as there are a variety of ways to arouse your lady, there are also multiple ways to have sex—more than just the old “in-and-out” move. www.GabrielleMoore.com

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THE FIVE MOST DESIRED SEX POSITIONS

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Did you know that there are over 600 sex positions? (There are 529 of them described in Kama Sutra.) But don’t worry; I know you’d fall asleep within a few minutes if I tried to list out each and every one of them. Besides, most sex positions are simply variants of the five basic sexual positions. So let’s focus on these. You can use your own creative imagination and exploration to discover the other 595! Despite the endless variety possible, most couples practice only two or three positions, with the most popular positions being missionary, woman on top, and from behind (or doggie style). There really is no “best” position—it all depends on the shape of your individual preferences, mood at the moment, and body shape and height. Some positions work better for the man that comes too soon, the side-byside position suits the lazy, and doggie style is great for a furiously sexy quickie. For a majority of men, orgasm is guaranteed in just about every (if not all) sex positions. But, as mentioned, for women it’s a different story. Stimulation of the clitoris is pretty much a must for most women to have an orgasm during sex. So let’s take a look at the each of the five most desirable sex positions and how to keep your lady’s clitoris stimulated with each of them.

1) MISSIONARY The missionary position is believed to have gotten its name from the early missionaries during the settling of the colonies. It is thought that it was considered the only “respectable” way to make love. So goes he name “missionary” position and got it’s name Rumor has it that early missionaries, sent to “civilize” the colonies, considered this the only respectable way to make love. Hence the name “Missionary” position and its rather settled position. If you are like most men, the missionary position was likely the position you used the first time you had intercourse, as it the one position that felt safe and left feeling less vulnerable. Even if we don’t like admitting it, missionary style is the position couples choose most of the time. That’s usually because the standard position—with your woman lying on her back with her legs spread and you in between them—requires not an ounce of imagination, little effort on the woman’s part, and is fairly comfortable for both the man and the woman. More importantly, the missionary position is known as being the most likely position for a woman to be able to achieve an orgasm during sexual intercourse. Although it’s typically the position you go for when you both are receptive to sex yet not wanting to spin cartwheels, ironically, it’s usually first position that springs to a woman’s mind when she wants you inside of her so bad, she really doesn’t www.GabrielleMoore.com

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care how the hell you do it, as long as you do it right then and there. (And although she won’t tell you this, the missionary position also helps her tummy look flatter!)

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WHY IT FEELS GOOD TO YOU: You pretty much gets to run the show. You are in

complete control of how deep you go, your angle, and your pace. For this reason, the missionary position is not a bad choice if you tend to come too fast, as this position allows you to stop when you feel yourself getting too excited. If you have the opposite problem (perhaps one too many drinks), have your lady reach down and hold back the skin at the base of your penis with her finger and thumb while you continue to move in and out. This will help increase your sensation and help you to finish business. WHAT MAKES IT FEEL GOOD TO HER: You are face-toFor deeper penetration, face with your woman, so you can kiss and talk— put a pillow or two under something women love to do during sex, as it helps her to feel that you are interested in her her buttocks, have her and not just her body. When it comes to stimpull her knees up to her ulation of her clitoris, deep penetration with a chest or wrap them purposeful grinding motion against her clitoris with each deep thrust can help her to have around your back. an orgasm. The key is to go deep and really push your pubic area (the part that’s covered with hair), against her. When you think you can’t go any deeper, grind the area in a circular motion. Keep in mind that as you are grinding against her clitoris, your penis is stimulating her G-spot. Having her grab your ass and direct your movement and pressure, she should be able to work herself up to an orgasm if she wants to have one. You can also try having your legs open and her legs in between yours with her thighs squeezed together, so that your legs are lying over hers. Some women report increased clitoral stimulation with this simple change in technique. HOW TO MAKE IT EVEN BETTER FOR HER: For deeper penetration, put a pillow or two under her buttocks, have her pull her knees up to her chest or wrap them around your back. If possible, have her lift her legs up high and rest them one or both feet on your shoulders. You can also ask her to reach down and use her own fingers to stimulate her clitoris while you use your penis to work her G-spot.

If you really want to mix things up, ban the missionary style altogether. By banning the position, the two of you can view it as forbidden and naughty crime (something you’ll find yourself wanting to commit from the sheer desire of wanting to do something you’re not supposed to do).


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VARIATION: Stimulate her G-spot. Instead of thrusting in and out, have

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her half sit up and lift her rear, then have her lean backwards nice and slow, repeating the movement until one or both of you climax. Lift her legs up and hold them and roll over until she is sitting on top of you and you are lying on your back.

WHAT TO AVOID: Breathing can be difficult for her if you don’t support your weight properly. So don’t lay your torso onto hers without supporting your weight with your elbows and knees.

2) WOMAN ON TOP Many women enjoy being on top, as being on top means she’s in control. Not only can this be erotically liberating for her, it can also be quite the turn-on for the both of you. The best way for her to control and balance herself is to have her sit on top of you, with you lying on your back, and then have her lower herself onto your penis, with her legs bent at the knees and folded backward or in a squatting position. In the standard position, she is facing you. Be sure not to try this position unless you are very hard. A semi erect penis can be easily bent and injured in this position. WHAT MAKES IT FEEL GOOD TO YOU: You can lay back and relax as she does all the work. You can also enjoy yourself as you watch her body as well as the view of her sliding up and down on your penis. You can see her body clearly and watch her facial expressions and her breasts as they bounce up and down. She’s driving the bus and you are her passenger. You get to look after your own pleasure instead of focusing on timing and depth. WHAT MAKES IT FEEL GOOD TO HER: It’s the complete opposite of the missionary position. Instead of you calling the shots, she controls the depth of penetration, the angle, and pace. She’s in the power role. If you sense your woman isn’t confident showing off her body, then turn the lights off and tell her to just enjoy herself. Women often enjoy this position because she can control how deep the penis goes. This is ideal for women who tend to experience pain with deep penetration. HOW TO MAKE IT EVEN BETTER FOR HER: Use those free hands of yours to caress her

breasts and stimulate her clitoris. This will increase her sexual arouse her and help bring her to orgasm. It’s also fairly easy for her to touch her own clitoris and bring herself to climax while your penis is inside her. So don’t be afraid to take her hand and place it there for her. VARIATION: Have her turn around and face your toes. Hold her waist to help her www.GabrielleMoore.com

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move up and down. Have her lean back on top of you so that her head is next to yours and your penis is still in side her. Her legs can be either draped over yours or in between yours. Sit in a chair with her on your lap. Sit up in bed or on the floor with your legs straight out and have her sit in your lap with her legs wrapped around your waist. What to Avoid: Her legs can tire very easily from supporting her weight while moving up and down. So avoid trying to hold back your orgasm if you know she’s trying to make you have one.

3) FROM BEHIND (OR DOGGIE STYLE) This is one position that can bring out the animal in most men. It’s a definite favorite for men, as well as for women when they are feeling their sexual oats. It’s definitely not a position for couples that are faint at heart. And if you are a man who has a tendency to come too soon due to a high level of arousal, this is not the position for you unless your woman is up to a true quickie. With the combination of unleashing the animal with you, deep penetration, and your fantasies running wild, you’ll definitely need a few drinks in you to last long enough for your lady to climax. WHAT MAKES IT FEEL GOOD TO YOU: Sex from behind enables you to penetrate her

vagina as deep as you possibly can. This position also provides lots of visual stimulation by being able to see what you normally can’t in other positions. The view of your penis thrusting in and out of her vagina can be sheer heaven. Her buttocks presses against your testicles, providing further stimulation, along with watching her butt cheeks jiggle back and forth. WHAT MAKES IT FEEL GOOD TO HER: Many women like to feel uninhibited from time

to time. Many also enjoy having their man take control during sex. Having sex with your woman from behind is you at your most dominate sexual state and her in her most submissive and vulnerable sexual state. Because she can’t see you, she can fantasize that you’re someone else (like you don’t do it from time to time). And with her breasts hanging down, the blood flow to her nipples increases, making them ultra sensitive. www.GabrielleMoore.com

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HOW TO MAKE IT EVEN BETTER FOR HER: Encourage her to give in to you.

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When she does, penetrate her deeply (but slowly). Reach around with your hand and stimulate her clitoris. Her orgasm in this position will often be more intense because your hitting up against all of her sensitive parts. Use your hands to play with her nipples, caress her breasts, and play with her clitoris. This is the best position for stimulating the G-spot, as your penis rubs directly against the front vaginal wall where the G-spot it located. VARIATION: Instead of kneeling, have her lie flat on the bed face down with her

legs spread apart. You lie on top of her and penetrate her from behind. As she’s laying there, reach your hand under and stimulate with clitoris or encourage her to do so with her own fingers. You can also try standing behind her, with her standing and leaning forward until her hands touch the floor. You can also attempt what’s known as the “wheelbarrow” where you stand behind her and lift and hold her straight legs like you would a wheelbarrow. She should have her elbows on the bed or on the floor supporting her weight. WHAT TO AVOID: The sex from behind position allows for deep penetration—sometimes too deep. So don’t get too carried away, as too much deep thrusting can cause her pain. You’re not trying to strike oil, so go slow and keep it shallow if she gives you any indication that the deeper penetration is uncomfortable.

4) FACE-TO-FACE POSITIONS What do women love? Intimacy and closeness. That’s why face-to-face positions while kneeling or standing can be such a turn-on for women. Such positions include her sitting on the end of the bed with you kneeling in front of her on the floor; her sitting in your lap while you’re sitting up. These are just two examples of what so-called “sexperts” consider face-to-face positions. They’re great for adding some variety to sexual intercourse, as well as relatively easy to perform or move into from the woman-on-top or basic missionary position. WHAT MAKES IT FEEL GOOD TO YOU: She can put her hands behind you and pull you to her by grabbing your buttocks. These positions also provide visual stimulation when it comes to watching your penis and her vagina working together in sexual pleasure. WHAT MAKES IT FEEL GOOD TO HER: Face-to-face positions provide good eye contact

and variety. She’s also in the ideal position to take hold of your penis and use it to manually masturbate, swirling it around her clitoris and vaginal lips. HOW TO MAKE IT EVEN BETTER FOR HER: In most face-to-face positions, you can see

and touch her clitoris easily. This makes it easy for you to masturbate her to www.GabrielleMoore.com

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orgasm. Try having her rock her pelvis as you thrust into her, with her using her legs for balance as you get a steady rhythm going.


Be sure to use these positions to your advantage by looking her in the eye and telling her how much you love her and just how incredibly hot and sexy she is. In other words, connect with her on an emotional level, not just the physical level. VARIATION: Use face-face-positions to create greater intimacy with your lady and

to add variety to your sex lives. Even if only for a few seconds, change to a faceto-face sitting position from the woman-on-top or missionary position from time to time. WHAT TO AVOID: Although some women complain of getting leg cramps in certain positions. So be sure to share the work equally and take over at times when she looks like she needs a break. Depending on your height and size, some positions can be difficult to get into, with some even being impossible. So don’t choose a position that would cause your lady to feel uncomfortably twisted or contorted. If your lady is on the larger than you, refrain from asking her to assume a position that she potentially might not be able to perform, as this could easily cause her to feel embarrassed and self-conscious about her weight.

5) SIDE-BY-SIDE

MANY WOMEN THOROUGHLY ENJOY THE SIDEBYSIDE POSITION, AS IT FALLS RIGHT INTO WHAT THEY LOVE MOSTCUDDLING.

Many women thoroughly enjoy the side-by-side position, as it falls right into what they love most— cuddling. Not only that, laying side-by-side can be quite comfortable and sensual. It’s the perfect for those days when you’re feeling amorous but don’t feel like doing much work. The top favorite is the spooning position. She lies on her side, you enter her from behind, your arms wrapped around her. She can draw her knees up to allow easier penetration and then keep her rear end stuck out toward you and the small of her back arched and one knee forward. WHAT MAKES IT FEEL GOOD TO YOU: The side-by-side position is a great position if

you are a premature ejaculator. That’s because there’s less full-on stimulation yet just enough comfort for you to settle in and take your time to reach climax. You will also enjoy the feel of her naked body against yours. It’s also easy for her to reach behind you to caress your buttocks, fondle your testicles, and play with your perineum. WHAT MAKES IT FEEL GOOD TO HER: The side-by-side position allows for a lot of

contact between both of your bodies. In addition, you also have your hands free, so you can play with her nipples, lick her neck, and massage her clitoris. But www.GabrielleMoore.com

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what she loves most about this position is that it doesn’t require much effort and she gets to cuddle and feel close to you.


HOW TO MAKE IT EVEN BETTER FOR HER: Hit her G-spot by leaning back and away from

her diagonally. It will be easy for you to reach around and use your fingers to massage her clitoris. Turn things into an “X” where your heads are at opposite ends of the bed and you’re making an “X” with your legs. You’re inside her and each of you has one leg underneath the other and one above. Clasp her hands for better control and intimacy. When in the basic-side-side position, instead of pulling out, remain inside her and lay there with her for the next half hour or so. If you fall asleep, great! She’ll love the intimacy it creates and look forward to doing it again in the near future. VARIATION: Ask her to grind her rear end against

the base of your penis, with her bending from at the waist and moving her torso in a downward position. Reach around and fondle her clitoris. You can also ask her to reach around and fondle your penis while it’s slowly thrusting in and out. You can also wrap your arms around her and turn over onto your back with her laying on top of you with your penis still inside her. She can simply rock her pelvis back and forth to continue your stimulation and you can use one hand to fondle her breasts and the other to play with her clitoris. WHAT TO AVOID: This is probably one of the most comfortable positions around and the potential of causing her any pain is very low. You don’t have to worry about your weight being on her or penetrating her too deeply.

No matter what position you choose, be sure to do it with passion.

There you have it—a few sexy alternatives to replace the tired old in-and-out maneuver. No matter what position you choose, be sure to do it with passion. You’ll get a lot more out of all that bumping and grinding if you thrust your hips to meet hers, run your hands up and down her back, arms, and thighs, and kiss, lick, suck and bite whatever part of her is closest to your mouth. So go for it! And ravish your woman like she’s the last female on earth! Next on our list of sexual pleasures is oral sex. Even if you think you are a master, chances are still have a few things to learn. So let’s take a look at what really gets women going when you’re pleasuring her with your tongue. www.GabrielleMoore.com

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ORAL SEX

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There are several names for performing oral sex on a woman—going down on her, eating her out, muff diving, and giving her head are a few. But the technical name for performing oral sex on a woman is “cunnilingus.” Not the most exotic name in the book, but if you take the time to master the skill, you will surely give your lady a reason to want to have sex with you (as long as you don’t over do it). The problem is that quite often you have to feel your way around instead of having a lighted view. So if you’re not quite an expert yet on going down on your lady, encourage her to allow you to keep the lights on so you can practice your technique until you get it just right. For some women, oral sex is the only way she can reach climax. For others, it can be the most intense orgasm they can experience. The following are ten great tips from some experts in the field of “cunnilingus.” If you want to make your lady quiver, this is how to do it!

GIVING YOUR WOMAN TIME IS THE BEST THING YOU CAN DO FOR HER WHEN PERFORMING ORAL SEX.

TEN TIPS TO MAKE HER QUIVER 1.

As you now know, it takes women longer than men to become aroused and to reach orgasm, so giving your woman time is the best thing you can do for her when performing oral sex. If you lady is stressed for any reason, help her to relax by stroking or massaging her body. This will help increase her state of arousal. Next, kiss her neck, lick and stroke her nipples and breasts before you move onto her vagina. Leave her panties on and softly stroke her vagina through the material with your finger until she gets wet—only then should you remove them.

2.

Run your hands up and down the outside of her thighs, then the insides, making sure your touch is soft enough to give her goose bumps. While licking and kissing her stomach, gently spread apart the outer lips of her vagina over the inner lips in a circular motion to help warm and further stimulate the area.

3.

Position is important, so if your lay is shy, have her lie back while you kneel at the foot of the bed. Many women also enjoy being licked while you’re kneeling and she’s standing. This position helps them to control your rhythm and pressure by holding your head. Another favorite is lying flat on your back in bed while she kneels above your www.GabrielleMoore.com

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head and lowers her vagina down to your mouth. She can easily place her hands on the wall or use the headboard to balance. Some women enjoy being completely exposed with their legs spread wide open, while other women prefer to have their legs closer together or wrapped around your head. Much of this depends on how sensitive her clitoris get

4.

Always keep her moist and use lots of saliva by licking all around her vagina before focusing on her clitoris. Don’t point or tense your tongue. It’s much better to use the entire surface of your tongue instead of just the tip. This is the one thing that many men get wrong. Begin by gently wiggling your tongue around and over her clitoris (it will feel like a tiny marble).

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As you continue, move into longer, gentler, wet strokes with your tongue, keeping a slow but steady pace. Your rhythm is crucial. Changing techniques and pace frequently will not work for her. Be sure to read her body language. If you are not sure what she likes, ask her what stroke feels best to her, and then continue doing it. Remember: if she pulls away, it means you’re being too rough or she needs you to ease up a bit. If she pulls your head closer, she wants a little more pressure.

6.

It’s better to be too gentle than too rough. You can always increase the pressure as you go, but starting out too rough can irritate her and kill the mood. Ask her what feels best to her. Experiment by shaking your head from side-to-side, making circles with your tongue around the edges of her clitoris, as well as up-and-down motions.

7.

Make some noise by moaning or groaning to let her know you are enjoying yourself. This will help her to relax and give her a signal that it’s okay to take her time. Be prepared to settle in and get comfortable, as it could take her as long as 20 minutes to reach orgasm. Don’t stop until she tells you to. If you can’t keep up the movements for that long, then it’s a sign that your tongue is too tense or you’re going to fast. The tongue should be relaxed and the movements should be gentle.


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8.

When your lady is completely aroused (and well lubricated), insert a finger into her vagina. Many women like having a finger inserted. If she doesn’t like it, she’ll pull your hand away. If she likes it, she will typically move her hips against your hand to achieve deeper penetration or encourage you to insert another. Some women enjoy stimulating their own clitoris while your licking other areas of their vagina. Others like to put their fingers next to your mouth so they can feel your tongue working their vaginas. If she does, do not hesitate to lick her fingers—it can really turn her on!

9.

As you’re licking her, use your other hand to caress her breasts and play with her nipples. You can also use it to lightly stroke her perineum (the area between her anus and vagina). Some women enjoy having a lubricated finger inserted into their anus as they orgasm. If you are not sure your lady is receptive to such a technique, stroke your finger across her anus to see if she pulls away. If she seems receptive, insert just the tip of your finger ever so gently. If she doesn’t pull away, then keep it there and insert it further when she starts to climax.

10. Unlike the screaming sex kittens in those porno films, most women tense

up and grow quiet when they begin to orgasm. When she does, increase the pressure ever so slightly or pick up the pace a bit. The key here is to maintain your rhythm, no matter what it is you’re doing. Once she is into her orgasm, switch back to slow and gentle strokes and make sure to cover the entire area of the clitoris with the entire surface of your tongue. This is the point where her clitoris will be unbearably sensitive, so don’t point your tongue or apply too much pressure. If she pushes your head away or covers her vagina with her hands, know that this is very common—and you should be very proud of yourself, you sexy stud, you! COMMON MISTAKES TO AVOID • You’re too rough. Although some women like a firm tongue, many prefer a gentle tongue. Your lady’s clitoris is very sensitive, so while vigorous licking will cause her to squirm, it’s most likely with pain instead of pleasure. • You don’t spend enough time down there. Although you might be able to climax at the sheer sight of her lips wrapped around your penis, it usually takes women much longer. So be sure to tell her to take as long as she wants because you thoroughly enjoy doing it, as it turns you on when you are able to excite her.


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• You change your technique too often. What your woman wants is a regular and consistent rhythm over the entire period so that she can reach orgasm. Although you might be impressed by your repertoire of tongue movements, sticking to one or two will get the job done. A woman’s clitoris is somewhat of a strange sexual beast—it can be extremely turned on by one sensation but then turned completely off by another. Go figure! • You stop at the worst possible moment. Although most men need for the stimulation to stop while having an orgasm, women prefer the stimulation to continue, just softer, all the way through until she has that very last spasm. By stopping right when she’s hovering on the brink of an orgasm, she might not make it over the hurdle.

A QUICK NOTE ABOUT THE NUMBER “69” • As you may know, the term “69” refers to a couple performing oral sex on each other simultaneously through a head-to-toe position. The most common position is the woman on top of the man, with her vagina lowered over his mouth and her mouth positioned over his penis. • Although many men find the thought of 69 arousing, giving each other oral pleasure simultaneously can be a bit tricky. It’s very easy for you to be distracted on your end, especially if your lady is sending you through the roof. The same goes for her if you are effectively helping her to near climax. This is due to it taking some concentration for both men and women to climax— especially women.

It’s very easy for you to be distracted on your end, especially if your lady is sending you through the roof. The same goes for her if you are effectively helping her to near climax.

• On the more positive end, 69ing is great for adding some variety and it works really well when you are sooooooooooo turned on that just about everything feels good. If you enjoy the position but find yourself having trouble keeping your focus on doing your job, then consider taking turns. You can lick her in that same position while she uses her hand on you. This will help her to better focus on the stimulation you are providing with your tongue. When she’s performing oral sex on you, you can use your fingers to stimulate her. www.GabrielleMoore.com

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OVERCOMING PERFORMANCE PROBLEMS

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o matter how sexually experienced you are, sometimes sex just doesn’t go the way you want it to. Sometimes it’s due to saying the wrong thing at the wrong time. Other times it’s because Mr. Johnson isn’t “up” to the job. No matter the reason, all men experience performance problems on occasion, just as every man puts his foot in his mouth from time to time. In either case, there are things you can do to help get things back on track. You can start by educating yourself on the following things women wish men knew about them as it pertains to sex. – 1. We don’t need or want you to last all night. – 2. The majority of us aren’t looking to sleep with “King Dong.” – 3. We hate it when you ask us “Did you come yet?” – 4. It would be nice if you said something nice after sex.

Both men and women alike feel pressure to perform a certain way during sex. For men, however, this can cause a malfunction or two with their penis. Although this often results in the man feeling embarrassed, I’m here to tell you that it doesn’t have to. So your penis doesn’t behave like you want it to from time to time? So what? Our vaginas don’t always work the way we want to them either. By simply letting it be until the day after, the problem will often go away all on its own. Although vaginas, clitorises, and penises are part of our bodies, they sometimes have quite a mind of their own. If you can accept this simple fact, you can avoid those psychological head games, as well as the chronic problems they can cause. As for the other sex-related trouble areas, the same advice is given over and over just about everywhere you look: Communication. Talk to your partner. Discuss the problem with each other. If you’re not happy, tell her. Your mouth is far more useful in the bedroom when you use it to talk than anything else you do with it. Open communication www.GabrielleMoore.com

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is really the only way you can solve problems. Remember: Talk is cheap—cheaper than sex therapy, that is!


So let’s take a look at some of the most common physical and emotional reasons for sex going wrong, as well as a few practical solutions to the problems.

PENIS PROBLEMS

REMEMBER: TALK IS CHEAPCHEAPER

I tell you straight out—I would hate to have a penis. THAN SEX THERAPY, THAT IS! Even though we ladies have just as much problems with our vaginas, when things don’t go right for a man, it’s usually humiliatingly obvious. Women can be dying for sex but, for whatever reason, their vagina is as dry as toast. No problem—a squirt of K-Y and we’re back in business. Not the case for men. A limp penis sticks out like a…actually, it doesn’t stick it out and all and when that happens, it’s obvious to both you and her. And when it comes to coming too soon, I don’t know of a man around who complains that his wife or girlfriend climaxes within two minutes. However, the pressure on men can be enormous (especially when your penis isn’t). As a man, chances are at some point in your relationship you will find yourself in one of the following situations. How you react to the issue will quite often dictate how long it remains an issue for both you and partner. So try to see it for what it is and not make too much of a fuss about it. YOU CAN’T GET IT UP A very common and often embarrassing problem for many men is not being able to get an erection when you need one. Your brain and your penis sometimes have different ideas of fun. Although in your mind you want nothing more than to ravish your mate, your penis wants to stay warm and snuggly in your jeans. This problem is so common among men, nearly every one of them will have had a problem with getting an erection by the time they are 40 years of age. What you need to know is that this is very normal and there are many causes for it. Perhaps you had to much to drink (alcohol), work demands are stressing you out, you just started a new medication, or you are just simply tired. If you allow yourself to dismiss the issue as a one-time occurrence, usually that’s all it will ever be. But worry yourself sick over it; it’s likely to happen again…and again. The more you dwell on it and the more worked up and anxious you get the next time around, the more poor Mr. Johnson is going to be and the less


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likely he’ll want to make an appearance at the next debut. When this happens, your worst nightmare will become reality and you will be officially (even if only temporary) impotent.

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There are many reasons for it to happen in the first place. As mentioned, too much booze can make things malfunction, as well as prescription and street drugs, stress, exhaustion, and even guilt. Typically it’s a psychological issue but there can also be a medical cause. And it’s quite simple to determine which category you fit into: If you have an erection when you wake up or during masturbation, it’s most likely a psychological issue. That means the only reason you’re not getting an erection with your lady is because you’re feeling some form of anxiety, embarrassment, or shame. It could very well be that she caused you to feel that way by criticizing you. SOLUTION: Repeat after me: REAL men don’t get erections Repeat after me: each and every time they want to. Every one of my female REAL men don’t friends (and yes, I have more than just one or two), every get erections each single one of them has encountered this problem with their men at one point or another. Accepting that you are and every time not the only man on earth to ever experience this problem they want to. is often the solution. Many men get ridiculously upset because men look at sex as “intercourse,” which requires a hard penis. But remember what you’ve learned about your lady. To her, sex includes everything you do before you even penetrate her. Even if your penis has gone AWOL on you, you can still give your lady multiple orgasms by simply using your hand, your mouth, or even a vibrator. Although your penis may be everything to you, it is not everything to your woman. It’s the man that the penis is attached to that means most to your lady.

Should you ever experience this problem in the future, talk to your lady and tell her you’re just going through a weird time. Don’t avoid having sex with her, just do so without your penis. Use your hands, your mouth and your tongue to give her sexual pleasure. (She might actually hope you have your problem more often!) Be sure to rule out any medical causes of your condition. Ease up off the alcohol, cigarettes, and drugs, and revisit how you live your life in general and how you can improve your health. If you’re taking a prescription medication, talk to your doctor about possible side effects. If the impotence is happening a lot, ask for a referral to a urologist (a doctor who specializes in penises) for an exam. If you think it’s psychological, then ask your doctor for a referral to a sex therapist and schedule an appointment. Give the issue some thought in an attempt to figure out why it keeps happening. Keeping a journal is an excellent way to keep track of your emotions and other


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things going on when the problem occurs. Ask yourself questions. Has this been a problem with every woman or just the one you’re with now? If it’s just her, maybe your feelings aren’t what you really hope for them to be. Even in cases when you’re really crazy about a woman, the anxiety and desperation from wanting to please her so much can cause you to go limp. If this is the case, relax. If a woman wants to leave you because you can’t get an erection, she’s not worth your time and effort. Keep in mind that although you may feel embarrassed and think you’re a failure in your lady’s eyes; many women blame it on themselves and not their men when their penises fail to rise to the occasion. So be sure to address her feelings and reassure her that it’s not her. Some of the common thoughts and feelings women experience are you’re not attracted to her, she’s too fat, you like blondes over brunettes, she didn’t trim her pubic hair enough, you don’t like the color of panties she’s wearing, etc. (May sound silly, but it’s true!)

YOU CAN’T COME What? You’ve been at it for so long, your lady’s watched three reruns of Sex in the City, flossed her teeth, and gone to sleep. Although rapid thrusting usually does the trick, this time you can’t quite get over that last hurdle to win the race. This is typically because the sensation in your penis has diminished due to too much booze, drugs (speed is a common culprit), or your woman wore you out from her multiple orgasms. It could also be due to holding back from having an orgasm for too long in an attempt to please your lady longer. Though women are used to (and sometimes prefer) having sex without climaxing, it can be quite the opposite for men. And although women get satisfaction out of knowing their man reached orgasm, going too long can cause irritation, pain and inflammation to her vagina. As a result, she might not be able to have sex for several days.


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If this happens to you and you don’t think it’s the result of overdoing it or diminished sensation, then the likely culprit is psychological. Perhaps you are in a new relationship and you you’re not comfortable enough yet to tell her what helps you reach orgasm. There are some men who can only come if their partner fondles their testicles. Other men, maybe through a past relationship, developed the need to have a finger inserted into their anus. On the other hand, you just might be feeling emotionally drained, stress out, tired, or in a bad mood. There are also those who just simply thing about what they’re doing way too much instead of relaxing and let nature of sex take its course.

SOLUTION: Don’t force the issue and keep going and going like the Energizer Bunny. This will only cause IF YOU ARE STRESSED OUT, TALK TO your lady discomfort and put her out of commisYOUR LADY. IF YOU FEEL YOU CAN’T, sion (as well as cause her to wince every time she THEN UNLOAD YOUR PROBLEMS ON A pees). Getting a good’s night sleep can do the body TRUSTWORTHY FRIEND. wonders—including the penis. This is especially true if the problem is related to drugs or alcohol. But if you feel the problem is due to needing your partner’s help to orgasm, then communication is going to be the main key. If you are stressed out, talk to your lady. If you feel you can’t, then unload your problems on a trustworthy friend. Ask your lady if she’s ever had problems coming (believe me, we all do). Keep in mind that sharing your thoughts and feelings with her meets her need for communication, so by talking to her, you’ll be doing yourself more than one favor. She just might want to help you with the problem by spicing things up for you in the bedroom.

YOU COME TOO SOON Before we get started on this one, the first you need to know straight out of the gate is that premature ejaculation is the number one sex problem for men. Studies actually show that, on average, men typically ejaculate within two to three minutes after penetration. So needless to say, lots of men come before they or the woman they are with wants them to. As a teen, I doubt you worried too much about how fast you reached an orgasm. All you probably cared about was that you were actually having sex with a girl (not your hand). Even as an adult, there are situations where coming quickly is excusable (such as having sex after not having sex for months on end or having an erotic fantasy). What if it happens each and every time? Look at it this way: Even if you don’t notice, I guarantee you she does. Defining premature ejaculation is not easy. That’s because there’s no rule or specific time period to measure you against. Some men and women think www.GabrielleMoore.com

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premature ejaculation is he coming after only an hour of thrusting, many men and women are quite happy with (or have grown used to) three to five minutes of sexual intercourse. So really, the decision is up to you. If you feel you can’t control yourself and are done too quickly, then it’s probably worth looking into further for both your sake and the sake of your relationship with your lady.

For some men, all it takes is to touch his woman’s breasts and he’s done. Others are at least able to SEX THERAPY USUALLY FOCUSES achieve penetration but blow their wad on the ON LEARNING HOW TO RELAX AND first (and best) thrust. Much of this has to do with RELIEVING ANY PERFORMANCE the lessons you learned when you were younger. If PRESSURE. you rushed through sex as a teenager because you were afraid of getting caught, you very well could have conditioned your penis to a quick performance. Typically age and being in a monogamous relationship for some time resolves the issue. If not, don’t worry— there’s still a lot you can do to fix the problem. SOLUTION: Many sex therapists brag that they can solve any sex problem within six

weeks of starting therapy. Sex therapy usually focuses on learning how to relax and relieving any performance pressure. So-called “homework” often involves having sexual intercourse without penetration, thereby taking the focus off sexual intercourse and replacing it with mutual masturbation, oral sex, and exploring of your bodies). It also involves continuing to have sex even after you ejaculate. Therapists report that masturbation is one of the most effective ways to control sexual stimulation. This means the more you masturbate the better, as it helps to desensitize the penis—especially if each time you masturbate your practice backing off. This is known as the stop-and-start technique and is 90% successful if followed routinely for a few months. Either you or your partner stroke your penis until you get an erection, you start having intercourse, then stop and withdraw the minute you feel close to coming. Stimulation stops until you start to lose your erection, then the whole process is repeated three or four times before you’re allowed to ejaculate. The squeeze technique can also be effective in helping you to hold back. This is where you or your lady grasps your penis just below the head and squeezes it firmly when you are close to having an orgasm.


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The purpose of these techniques is to keep you from feeling so turned on. The less sexier your thoughts, the more control you might have. Distraction techniques, such as mentally writing your resume, can also help. So can closing your eyes and keeping them closed so you can’t see how sexy she looks or anything else that turns you on. If the problem is really bad, it might mean “zero” foreplay for you and even less foreplay for her. When you penetrate her, use lubricant and insert your penis very carefully to avoid too much stimulation. If you feel turned on, stop and hold perfectly still and ask her to be still as well. If you have to, withdraw for a while. In such a case, don’t focus on your penis at that very moment. Instead, think about something completely nonsexual—like taxes! Because you want to ensure you are meeting the needs of your lady, the following suggestions can help keep this problem from interfering with your lady’s sexual desire:

Let her know what she can do to help, such as remaining completely still when you tell her you need to stop for a moment.

• If she wants to have an orgasm, be sure to give it to her first through oral sex or masturbation. She may want to forego the orgasm and just have you give her a massage or snuggle with her. This will take the pressure off of you, as well as meet her need for affection, intimacy, and foreplay outside of intercourse. • Talk to her about your problem and tell her you’re trying to do all you can to improve.

• Let her know what she can do to help, such as remaining completely still when you tell her you need to stop for a moment. Tell her to be as passive as possible, meaning no moaning, groaning, or running her fingers up and down your back, as well as refraining from rocking her pelvis back and forth if possible. Sure, it’s going to be frustrating for her to not be able to touch you, and lying there like a plastic doll is no one’s idea of steamy sex (okay, maybe it is). So be sure to remind her that it’s not going to be like that forever. The more often you have sex, the better you will get. If she loves you and cares about your needs, she will be happy to help. So the next time you have a sexual mishap, don’t sweat it! Instead, remember that you have more than one tool in your bag of sexual goodies. If Mr. Johnson isn’t up to coming out to play, your mouth, your fingers, and/or a good vibrator will do your lady just fine! www.GabrielleMoore.com

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KEEPING THINGS HOT AND STEAMY

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icture your favorite place to dine. Now imagine having to dine there every single day for the rest of your life, and the only thing on the menu is steak and lobster. If you’re like most people, after a few weeks, that greasy hamburger across the street is looking quite appetizing! That’s what having sex with the same person can feel like. Why would you want a hamburger when you can have steak and lobster? Easy. You’re sick of steak of lobster!

Now go back to that restaurant and imagine that each night you go there, there’s something different. One night they’ve got a rock band playing and they’ve made room for a dance floor. The next night the music is soft and the lights are dimmed. On Monday, they offer French cuisine. The next night it’s Mexican then another night Italian. There’s so much variety, you can have a different dish each and every evening. The decor changes frequently: bright lights one night, dark and mysterious another. During the winter, they have the fireplace lit. In the summer, the windows are open, allowing for a view and warm breeze. One night you go alone and have a drink to take the edge off. Other times you and your lady, go there together to dance the night away. Got the point yet? If not, let me put it plain and simple: If you have enough variety, even if the restaurant is the same, you can still enjoy it. The same is true when it comes to having sex with the same person for the rest of your life. You can have sex with the same person for a lifetime in a million different ways, situations, and places. You can do it naked, half naked, with clothes ripped off, stripped off, or sensually removed. You can do it nice and slow, fast and furious, hot and sweaty, or slippery and soapy. You can have a two-minute quickie in the shower or a two-hour sex marathon around the house. Dinner in, dinner out, with her and a can of whip cream as your dessert. Does having sex with the same person day in and day out have to be boring? Of course not! So why, then, do most men and women complain it is?


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Years ago, Boy George made news headlines by stating he’d rather have a cup of tea than sex most evenings (and millions secretly agreed with him). Listen in on the conversation of two women with kids and you’re likely to hear, “I’m so sick of sex, I’d be happy to go the rest of my life without it.” Hell, I wouldn’t be interested in sex either if sex just before bedtime with him on top was all that was being offered day in and day out. If that’s what having sex with the same person for the rest of your life means to people, no wonder they find it so boring. (Are you cringing yet?) If getting naked between the sheets and performing the same sex ritual more times than not sums up your sex life with your lady, I’m sure this has a lot to do with your lady’s lack of sexual desire. However, you still get major points for choosing to read this book. You’re way ahead of a lot of other men already!

SEX CAN GET BETTER, STARTING RIGHT NOW!

Here are the words you need to hear: Sex can get better, starting right now! There is one catch, however. You have to be willing to be creative and put some effort into your sex life. It’s up to you to introduce the variety that it’s lacking. At first, especially if your lady is bored out of her mind with you, it might be somewhat of a drag for her. But by the time you get the first and second sexual escapade out of the way, her nipples are going to perk up and she’s going to want to join in the new game. A month out, the two of you won’t be able to keep from grinning when you look at each other when you think about what the two of you did the night before. Two months from now, the police will show up at your door to make sure everyone’s okay, because the neighbors reported hearing lots of loud screaming and banging coming from your home (oh, you were banging alright). WHAT’S WONDERFUL ABOUT HAVING SEX WITH THE SAME PARTNER? Committing yourself to the same sex partner over the long term has many benefits. Not only do you do you get to snuggle close and smile when you wake up the next morning beside her (instead of wondering how you got there), gone are the days when the thought of chewing your arm off would be better than having to move it and risk waking the queen of ugly lying next to you. Some of the other wonderful benefits of having sex with the same partner over the long term are: • You still get to have sex even when you get fat, old, and wrinkly. • You can relax. It doesn’t matter if you lose your erection; she knows it’s just temporary. www.GabrielleMoore.com

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• You don’t have to use a condom, as you’ve both been tested for STDs and you don’t have sex with other people.

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• You can be less inhibited, as you trust each other and know you won’t be judged as perverted or weird if you suggest trying something new or share fantasies. • You’re guaranteed an orgasm. If you’ve taken the time to explore each other and communicate, you both know just what buttons to push. • You can have all types of sex, whether it be lusty, romantic, or lazy, as well as explore all kinds of new and exciting sexual experiences together.

WHAT’S NOT SO WONDERFUL? The two major complaints about having sex with the same people all the time are: (1) sex becomes boring and routine and (2) the “newness” vanishes, never to be seen again. It’s true that getting a blowjob from a woman you’ve been with for ten years can never compare to getting one from a woman you’ve never been with before. Although it can be an incredibly erotic feeling, keep in mind all of anxiety and pressure of being with someone new can create. Besides that, there are plenty of wonderful feelings you can experience with someone you are comfortable with that you can’t experience with someone new. So if never being able to experience that intense feeling you get when you have sex with someone new is the only downside, it’s certainly a small price to pay for all the benefits of being with the woman you love. Coping with it is as easy as having sex with whomever you want through the use of your imagination. Fantasize all you want, but NEVER TURN IT INTO REALITY! (Even if you know you can get away with it.) Any time you feel yourself tempted, practice this exercise. Imagine your lady’s face when finding out about your infidelity (you’d be amazed at how most women do). Envision how devastated she would be. Keep in mind that she, too, feels an odd urge on occasion to stray, but doesn’t out of respect for you and your relationship. She also cherishes what she has with you. Even if she never found out, you would know what you did. Knowing what you’ve done, you would have a hard time looking her in the eye with honesty. Next, imagine your lady being so angry and hurt that she leaves you. You’ve broken her heart and you’ve lost everything. Now, ask yourself. Is that sexual


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thrill that you think you want to so badly, those few minutes of sexual ecstasy, worth it? If you run all of this through your head and still think the risk is worth it, then don’t even waste your time trying to improve your relationship with your lady, let alone increase her desire to have sex with you.

Many men and women who have been unfaithful to their partners will tell you it was the biggest mistake of their lives. Even years after having an affair the guilt they feel from their infidelity still haunts them. When it comes to you and your lady having mismatched libidos, to some extent, it’s something you are going to have to accept. Having said that, there is certainly a lot you can do to even the scales. In addition to boring sex, some of the turn off for couples is due to the fact that sex is available 24/7. It’s pretty much always available, meaning the sex-starved craving for someone to touch them sexually is always filled. Long-term lovers don’t usually have a chance to build up their sexual desire for one another because the desire they have is already filled. So the scenario is commonly having sex when you really don’t feel like it (but do it because you feel you should), the sex becomes boring, and then your brain starts associating the two together. Hmmm…sounds a bit like what you learned about sexual aversion. So what’s the solution? Now that you know just how to meet your woman’s needs, just how she wants to be touched, how, when and where, and just how to get the party going again in the bedroom, how do you keep it going? Much of the solution is creativity and variety. Just like our restaurant scenario, you have to keep offering new ways to connect with her, new ways to touch her, new ways to arouse her, new ways to show her how much you love her, new ways to bring her to climax, new ways to have sex with her, and so on and so on. The following are some suggestions for adding some variety and spice back into your sex life. If you want to increase your lady’s desire for sex, then getting out of the same old routine is just what you need to do. So pay close attention to these tips for better sex. www.GabrielleMoore.com

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DISCOVER HER HIDDEN ZONES

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While there are fairly obvious pleasure zones like the breasts, vagina, inner thighs, lips and so on, many men don’t realize that women have other body parts that are very sensitive to caresses, strokes and kisses that can increase their desire for sex and intensify their orgasms. These areas vary from woman to woman but it’s definitely worth paying attention to the ears, neck, back, arms and other less obvious places to see what she likes. When you find those magic spots, stimulate those areas gently during foreplay for better love making when the opportunity comes.

CREATE THE MOOD REMEMBER: Women are different than men. What

The key is to be

you might find a bit cheesy or a waste of time, inconspicuous with your women love it when their men go out of their tactics, surprise her on way to romance them and create the mood. And if you learned what you should have learned from occasion, and that each this book thus far, setting the mood and providtime is different from ing your lady with some extra special attenthe next. tion is what helps her to get in the mood for sex. Music, candles, rose petals; fragrances and so on are excellent ways to create a sensual and loving mood. It also helps to make whatever sexual experience you have something DIFFERENT and not just the same old romp in the sack. The key is to be inconspicuous with your tactics, surprise her on occasion, and that each time is different from the next. It’s also important to NOT do these things every time you want to have sex. If you do, eventually when she walks into a room with candles and soft music, she’ll know exactly what you want and just might do an about face and find a good book to read. The purpose of creating the mood is to create intimacy, bring you closer, and to show her she’s worth your time. Get that message across, and her desire to have sex will happen on its own.


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SENSUAL MASSAGE

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As mentioned in our section about foreplay, the joy of you caressing and touching her body can increase arousal levels in your woman (and you). Massage has the added benefit of helping your lady to relax and excite her at the same time. Remember to make it a sensual and sexually arousing massage with lots of focus “near” but not directly on her most intimate body parts. Anticipation and suspense is key to building her up to one of her most amazing orgasms ever.

MORE ORAL SEX Oral sex can be an amazing and selfless way of providing your lady with sexual pleasure. It can even help build trust and bring the two of you closer, as she’s not going to let just anyone’s mouth down there. Oral sex can also help relive any performance anxiety you might have, as well as help your lady achieve an orgasm that she might have a harder time doing through sexual intercourse. REMEMBER: Don’t use your tongue like a spear or thrusting device when attempting

to stimulate her vagina and clitoris. It’s much more pleasurable for her if you lick the sensitive spots with wide, flat licks, much like you would do with an ice cream cone. FOREVER EXPLORE AND TRY OUT NEW IDEAS This is the most important tip of all when it comes to ensuring a more fulfilling sex life and enticing your woman’s sexual desire over the long term of your relationship. That doesn’t mean you have to hang from the ceiling wearing a Tarzan thong or have sex in the bathroom at the mall (unless you’re into that kind of stuff!), but exploring and experimenting with sex is very important. A new sex position, a different location to make love, a game of foreplay, A new position, light role playing and many other options can add that special something and newness to your love life that might otherwise be stale. No matter how much you lick, suck or thrust, what matters most is how your lady feels about what you’re doing. By providing her with some variety, you open up options for your future. Even if the thing you try out don’t quite go as well as planned, just by simply trying them, you will be providing your lady with something fresh and unpredictable. Providing something new once every six months won’t cut it. You have to work at this in one form or another every single day. The more effort you put into making sex fun and erotic, the more likely your lady will want sex.


C CONCLUSION

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t this point, you should be very proud of yourself and give yourself a big pat on the back. Why? Because by simply picking up this book and reading it, you took more action than most men in your situation often do. Many men just sit back and complain about their women and what little sex there getting. Some even create bigger problems in their relationship by placing all of the blame on their lady, ridiculing her, pressuring her, and even forcing her to have sex. But you…you took action in an attempt to find some solutions to the problem—real solutions that can bring about real change for both you and your lady.

Intimate relationships can be very complex, perhaps the most intricate of them all. Many of us don’t even know what we’re getting ourselves into until years later down the road. Instead, we tend to think that the dynamics of a good relationship depends on some mysterious blend of the right people. And when things don’t go quite right or we become unhappy, we blame it on being with the wrong person. But more often than not, the unhappiness we experience in our relationships has nothing to do with being with the right or wrong person. More often than not, it’s simply because one or both partners lacks the awareness or skills to meet each other’s needs. Being happy in your relationships doesn’t depend on some mysterious compatibility quotient. Instead, your happiness is determined on how willing and able you are to meet your partner’s needs. Few experiences match the magic of falling in love. But love needs constant caring and nurturing. Through this book, I’ve tried to give you some guidelines for providing that care and for building a better relationship with your lady by simply recognizing and meeting her needs. Make no mistake about it: It takes hard work and a willingness to learn and carry out new skills. But by willingly making that effort, you will have mastered one of life’s most valuable lessons— the secret to a woman’s sexual desire!


Dhd Module 3

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